An old story, or perhaps a new story

It’s late at night and there are twenty other story ideas that are currently running around in my head, instead of the story I should be working on.

These ideas are impinging on the current story, and somehow are finding their way onto the page.

Writing, cursing, deleting, re-writing, deleting, cursing.

I’m working on the latest book and it is not going well, and I think it is more a case of self-doubt.  It’s why I can’t concentrate.

It’s why I’m thinking about the next story and not staying on track.

This leads me to be over critical of what I have written and much pressing of the delete key.  Only to realize that an action taken in haste can be regrettable, and makes me feel even more depressed when I realize the deletions are irrecoverable.

Damn.

I think I’d be happier in a garret somewhere channeling van Gogh’s rage.

Lesson learned – don’t delete, save it to a text file so it can be retrieved when sanity returns.

I was not happy with the previous start.  Funny about that, because until a few weeks ago I thought the start was perfect.

What a difference a week makes or is that politics?

Perhaps I should consider adding some political satire.

But I digress…

It seems it’s been like that for a few weeks now, not being able to stick to the job in hand, doing anything but what I’m supposed to be doing.  I recognize the restlessness, I’m not happy with the story as it is, so rather than getting on with it, I find myself writing words just for the sake of writing words.

Any words are better than none, right?

So I rewrote the start, added about a hundred pages and now I have to do a mass of rewriting of what was basically the whole book.

But here’s the thing.

This morning I woke up and looked at the new start, and it has inspired me.

Perhaps all I needed was several weeks of teeth gnashing, and self-doubt to get myself back on track.

Who would want to be a writer?

Me!  First in line, every time!

2 thoughts on “An old story, or perhaps a new story

  1. That is a writer’s life. I have often wanted to write a memoir of what I have lived through and came out alive. But I would need an editor big time. LOL! Keep it up Charles, you know in your heart you are a good writer, and I am pulling for you.

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  2. “Writing, cursing, deleting, re-writing, deleting, cursing.” You have just described the writer’s life in a nutshell! As for fear of those deletions–priceless gems never to be recovered (I can’t stop chuckling at this)–we all have this, too, and I recommend making an edit copy of the original draft and working from that. Leaves you free to delete, delete, knowing you can retrieve the original (I find I never have, but it’s peace of mind). I’m in revisions now on my WIP and though the first 80 pages went easily, I find there is a horrendous mess encompassing the next 14-15 pages (whatever was I thinking???!) which I’m off to try to untangle now. Bon chance, Charles. You’ll get there.

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