Days 234 and 235 – Writing Exercise
…
I was early.
Twenty minutes early.
A long time ago, it had been drummed into me that no one likes anyone who turns up late.
For anything.
There were no excuses.
Except if you were dead. My father was very adamant about reasons, and for him that was the only one that would work.
People, he said, had the capacity to understand the transportation network, and basic skills of reading a map, and coordinate the two.
He would have loved having the latest god devices that worked out your trip and told you when you would get there, factoring in the known delays.
I could have arrived five minutes before, but his warning always sat in the back of my mind.
Don’t be late.
It was a pity everyone else didn’t seem to care as much as I did, or saw getting somewhere early as a character fault.
Out of my past four first dates, three were late, and one just didn’t bother to come. I was giving the app one more chance
My sister had created the profile and basically set me up. I was not the person she portrayed me as: fun-loving and outgoing, the life of any party.
I didn’t go to parties.
It was not that I couldn’t survive at one; it was not that I could not converse with my contemporaries, or was just a feeling that I would be judged.
Mid-thirties, reasonably well off, a nice apartment, and a car that was oldish but reliable. I had a library, I pretended I could write, and my day job was basically the same as heading exam papers, looking for insurance fraud in submitted policyholder claim documents.
At least my job was not boring.
Maybe some of the people I worked with were. We were stashed away in a large room surrounded by reference books and boxes of documents.
The professor, the head of the department, the librarian, who could quote statutes and laws going back a thousand years, the headmistress, a woman of few words and a permanent scowl, the flibbety-gibbet, who spoke in riddles and Gen Z speak, deciphering the new abbreviated cell phone language, the maths teacher, all formulas and algorithms, and me.
I didn’t belong because I had no specialty other than I could see a plot line in a claim statement that could be the start, middle or end of a good story. Some of those claimants would make the bestseller list if they ever wrote a book.
My sister Jen said I might meet a nice lady at work.
She was wrong.
She said I might meet an old flame at the high school reunion. They were all happily or unhappily married.
She said if I put myself out there, something might happen.
It did.
I discovered all the good women were taken, or had sworn off men. I didn’t blame them. Of all men were like my older brother, just turned forty and married for a third time to a woman young enough to be himself daughter, then I agreed with them.
The waitress had given me time to pick something off the menu and came over.
“Nice carnation.”
She knew why I was there and was kind enough not to make it a subject.
“Seeing if it will look good on my coffin.”
She made a strange face. “You’re not dying, surely. Had a mom come in the other day; just got the bad news. I don’t think I could cope with two in one week “
“Not dying. Physically, anyway. Coffee, your biggest mug.”
“Cake?”
“Maybe later, depending…”
She knew exactly what I meant. She wasn’t old enough to have endured the gamut of world ills she probably saw every day in a cafe like this.
I looked around, a quick assessment of the clientele.
Shop assistants, drinks after work, discussing the worst customers. They seemed to be the norm these days. Clerks, weary, trying to pick themselves up before going home. Star-crossed lovers in that early phase where love leaks out all over the place. Men in managerial positions, drinking beer, all-knowing, and quite crude in their assessment of their female contemporaries, workers, some even disparaging their wives. It was rush hour; those not in a hurry were trying to wash away another bad day.
If it was Friday, there would be a different mood, as if they were let off an invisible leash, only to fall into a different kind of malaise.
I wished I was not so interested in the office grapevine. The mistakes were there, plain as day, and yet there were still people going down that same self-destructive path.
What did the professor call it: human nature.
My waitress, name tag Betty, delivered the coffee with a lopsided smile that would get less warm as the evening dragged on. No job was worth the treatment she got, unless she needed the job. There were no rings, so maybe she was not married, had no children or husband to go home to, only to look forward to another day in the snake pit.
Ten minutes to my swipe date. I kept an eye on the front door, the table I was sitting at selected specially. I had cased the cafe earlier in the week, much like a secret agent, knowing where the exits were if I had to leave in a hurry.
Two of the girls had not exactly used the most current photograph of themselves, for obvious reasons. I had, hence the lack of matches; my photo did not match that fun-loving bio. I looked like the bookworm I was.
I didn’t believe in deception.
A redhead, roll-neck sweater and leather coat, minimal make-up, unruly hair, smiling eyes.
I couldn’t be that lucky.
I wasn’t.
A blonde that was a brunette or perhaps both, with too much rouge and bright red lips. Green and grey with yellow heels. Smokes. Please no.
Thank you, there is a God.
I knew hair colour and styles; my sister had used all of them, and was currently orange, though I was not sure it was because she had gone too far or it was actually a colour.
Her twin, colour-wise, just appeared, someone old enough to know better than to dress like a woman half her age, and it looked rather odd. She had the confidence to pull it off, but her manner didn’t scream, looking for a steady relationship.
She was with six other girls who arrived before her, but she was clearly the leader of the pack.
And then there’s the one that takes your breath away. The one that, twenty years later, when you can have a sensible conversation with a grandchild, you tell them, ‘she had me the moment she walked in the door’.
She was not my date.
She was my age, and not worn down by the vicissitudes of life, someone who took care of herself, dressed sensibly, and did not pretend to be something she was not.
She scanned the cafe, and then smiled, a smile that would lighten even the darkest of rooms, and I envied the person she was meeting. Jealous perhaps.
A girl, her daughter perhaps. I sighed.
The exact time ticked over. No likely candidate.
Yet.
The waitress hovered. That world-weary look, before the service smile.
“Another?”
“Why not?”
I hoped she was on commission. Perhaps a sizeable tip.
Sandy blonde with red tips, cut short, gym clothes over a fit body. Fresh from or going to a workout. She was lean, wiry, a five-mile run every morning before breakfast.
I could picture her with a large collie dog, all cuddly and lovable. I don’t know how that image got in my head. As much as I knew she was the one.
She was not late, not harassed, nor apologetic. Comfortable with the five minutes either way. So was I.
Our eyes met, and she smiled. Relief? Maybe she had the same luck I did with potential dates. I stood, no handshakes or air hugs, just a greeting and sit.
“I prefer Josephine, rather than Jo. People who abbreviate your name seem to always be in a hurry.”
“Francis. My mother calls me Frank, my brother Frankenstein, and my father hey you, so any of the above will do.”
“Except…”
“The obvious, yes.”
The waitress returned. “Betty.”
“Josephine.”
They knew each other. “The usual?”
Josephine nodded. I had the feeling this was a routine, and ‘the usual’ was a code. Dump and run.
“If you have somewhere else to be, I’ll understand,” I said. I’d rather be disappointed now than
prolong the agony.
She looked surprised. “Why would you say that?”
“I’m very good at reading between the lines.”
“You don’t do this very often.”
“My sister decided I should put myself out there. She wrote my biography. I didn’t agree with it, but I didn’t change it.”
“How many?”
“You’re the fifth. Three didn’t match the bio with the vision, and the fourth didn’t come. You could have just kept going.”
“I could. It was a thought. But then I would not have got to talk to you. The usual greeting I get is, babe, or some other loose endearment. That’s about my limit, and then I leave.
“Well, I’m not in a hurry. I will definitely never call you babe; you can pick the subject, and we can talk. Over coffee. Betty is expecting me to have cake.”
“The apple pie is nice.”
“You come here often?”
“This is the fifth time for me too. It’s the longest I’ve stayed.”
In between the small talk, I took a more guarded but studious look at someone who was not what one first thought of her. Perhaps we see what we want to see, until we take a step back and see what there really is in front of us.
Betty came back with her coffee and two pieces of apple pie.
I looked at her.
“You’re an apple pie guy. I can tell an apple pie guy when I see one. We do a great thanksgiving Turkey dinner if you’re hungry.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
She smiled, perhaps a bright moment in an otherwise drudge day at the coalface.
“I guess we’d better get the awful stuff out of the way. What would you like to know?”
It sounded practical in a doomsday sort of manner.
I thought for a second, perhaps two, about which version of me I’d tell her about. “I want to say I’m that fun-loving guy my sister thinks I am, but the awful thing called responsibility got in the way. My friends, or perhaps more appropriately acquaintances, spend their evenings on drinks with the office types, boozy weekends camping or something outdoors, and get into local sports.
“They invite me to parties and find blind dates, but I can’t quite see the point of practical jokes, rough-and-tumble sport, or getting drunk. My job is boring, but practical; I have a university degree that is and isn’t useful, I like reading, and visiting old parts of Europe.”
“You drink?”
“Beer, wine that’s better than the usual swill my so-called friends indulge in, and the fine dining that goes with it. On occasion. A night or two in a posh hotel sometimes makes a difference.”
“By yourself?”
“Mostly. Sometimes I think I’ve found someone who might appreciate the same, but I’m not sure if I set too high a standard.”
“Then not a guy who expects sex on the first date?”
“Is that what you expect of me?”
“Three out of four so far.”
“Then I apologise for my brethren. I assure you that is not on my list. I’d like to get to know a woman a lot better before that becomes an issue. Anything you’d like to tell me?”
“What were you expecting?”
“That’s a question, not an answer.”
“I can be annoying.”
“I can see that. More?”
She nodded.
“You look like a morning run type. Wearing your gym gear here tells me you are possibly pretentious, or you just worked out, though having pie, you might be going after this.”
“Pretentious, eh. I haven’t been called that for a while. Perhaps after, to take my frustrations out on a punching bag. I like classical music, while luxuriating in a spa, drinking champagne. Not rich enough to stay in posh hotels, and love Italian. Can speak a few words too.”
I suspect more than a few. She had some Italian heritage, perhaps a grandmother who came as an immigrant.
“You work in a museum?”
She reminded me of a girl I knew in University who was studying classical art. It might also have something to do with a lanyard I saw her pushing into her bag as she sat down.
“Something like that.”
OK. We’ll hang onto that thought and circle back.
I could see momentary indecision in her eyes, the sort that comes with making a choice: to stay or go. Was it worth investing another five minutes?
“I don’t know how to assess you; you make it very hard to decide whether you are what I think you are, or you’re very good at playing a role.”
“Perhaps it’s simply a fault in my programming. I told the alien masters that sent me to spy on earthlings not to make me stand out. Obviously they didn’t read the memo.”
She laughed, hopefully because she knew I was joking.
“That’s it, of course.”
If anything was going to send her packing, that would be it.
And then when you least expected it, something comes out of left field. “You like dancing? The real stuff, ballroom.”
“Arthur Murray’s twenty-one lessons to become a professional?”
“Twenty-one? Not the whole of a misspent youth?”
“Had to save room for riding a horse so I could play polo.”
“Polo?”
“I only mastered the horse part. And then just so I wouldn’t fall off.”
“Oh, I think you master everything you put your mind to. I was going to give this five minutes. You have surprised me. I have an early morning tomorrow, but now I know where to find you; we must go dancing. For now, you can walk me to the subway.”
…
It was almost a week before I heard from her again. I had expected to hear from her after a few days; I had been suitably sent to ex right swipe land because her profile disappeared.
She had found a dance club, if it could be called that, where we could practise the dark arts. Or the tango, whichever made sense at the time.
I was happy to agree, if not for the dancing but just to meet her again. She had piqued my interest, but I was under no illusion that I was her perfect match.
I met her outside the building, those few minutes over, cool as a cucumber, and in elegant but free-flowing clothes that changed her whole demeanour.
I wondered if she realised just how intimate ballroom dancing was. For me, it would be worrisome to be so close, and to be reliant upon someone I didn’t know.
Something else I was aware of, she was totally unaware of the effect she could have on people. She had this ability to sweep people up into her aura.
Inside, she introduced me to Madamselle Dubois, the proprietor and head of the dance academy. I had read about her umpteen times, world champion back in an era when dancing mattered.
She obviously knew Josephine could dance; she asked for a dance with me, and I did my best impression of a professional, having left one on my two left feet at home.
Adequate was the grade she gave me.
No time to argue; it was straight into the waltz. Once I got over the closeness thing and because there were no varying height issues, it was easy to settle into a routine.
It was fun.
It was exhausting.
And strangely, it built trust. It was as if she had discovered a way that separated the fools from the genuine contenders. Not that I would say I was one yet.
But there were moments when I felt almost too comfortable, and had to realise this was not about me; it was about her, and I was not going to take advantage of an innocent situation.
We called this a second date. We both agreed, in the middle of attempting a tango, that nothing was going to happen. Just to be with her was enough. That part whereby you start ending each other’s sentences was a long way off.
Or so I thought.
…
We had a third date under the watchful eye of Betty the waitress. Same time, same table, same coffee.
And, “So, how did the first date go?”
I smiled. There had to be a few in the cafe, and she would recognise the signs. Anxious, sweaty palms, indecisiveness. All of the above.
“We danced. The Waltz, and then the Tango.”
“Then it’s a case of when is the wedding and where is my invite?”
“It’s just a third date, nothing special.”
Betty’s expression told me she thought otherwise.
Josephine arrived early, and this time wearing business clothes. They looked more expensive than mine. I made a mental note that I would have to up my game if this was to continue.
“You’re looking very authoritative.”
“Executive camouflage, Francis. It’s how I can hide in plain sight.”
Betty became over, saw her, and rolled her eyes. Then, “The usual.”
Josephine nodded.
“Now. I had been thinking. You like posh hotels, and I like travelling on planes; perhaps we can combine the two. I have a friend who works for an airline, so travelling in style. You can pick the hotel.”
It was a step forward, together, in another city, in a hotel. If I was reading the signals correctly, which for me would be a first.
“Anywhere in particular.”
“New York. I want to go to the top of the Empire State Building, walk in Central Park, and have a pretzel and a hot dog, you know, from the street vendors.”
“Moma?”
“Of course.”
“Do I assume we get a suite or…”
She gave me a rather unfathomable expression, one that made me feel like I’d failed the test. If it was a test.
“I think we might take that step, and see what happens. I mean, it’s not something I’ve done before, because usually relationships don’t last that long. The idea of it is quite salacious, don’t you think?”
The idea had far too many strings attached, and one of them could strangle me.
“I know just the place. Not sure about the degree of salaciousness, but it has an in-house doctor in case I have a heart attack.”
She smiled, and there was a little wickedness in it. I didn’t think that was her nature, but more that she was testing the waters. Date four was not a suggestion that we move to a more interesting level, as much as it was a test, and getting a response.
What would be an appropriate response?
“I’ll send you the date.”
…
We flew business class, or what I perceived to be business. Wider seats, better service, front of the plane, first off. Josephine looked like she travelled only one class, dressed accordingly and fitted in.
I wore a suit, only because I was advised to, because some airlines looked down on the chinos and polo shirt with loafers type. I was glad I did.
At JFK, I had ordered a limousine to take us to the Midtown Hilton on Sixth Avenue, so we had both the MoMA and Central Park within walking distance.
She was impressed by the limousine, which I had requested the driver take the scenic route, if there was one, then arriving at the hotel in style to be greeted by a special check-in clerk and escorted to our room, one of the Presidential King Suites. I was a Platinum member with certain privileges
I wanted to make it special.
She was impressed, but not overly so, and I did wonder briefly if she was a rebellious billionaire’s daughter who’d seen it all and then some.
That it had a separate bedroom seemed excessive, but I thought, for two days, it would give her space if she wanted or needed it. There was only one bed, but it was huge.
I was still unsure of how the sleeping arrangements would work. I had no expectation we would be doing anything other than sleeping, and I certainly would not be hinting or suggesting otherwise.
She sat on the end of the bed as I came out of the bathroom. “Which side?”
“Either is OK. You?”
“Right. I sleep better lying on my left side.”
There was a knock on the door, and I went over. Room service with champagne and canapés. I had them once before on a previous stay.
“Now you are trying to impress me.”
The waitress popped the cork and poured the first two glasses, then quietly left us alone.
“I’m just doing what I would normally do when I go away for a weekend. Dinner is at Quality Italian. It’s not far from here.”
“You are spoiling me.”
“I just want you to be as happy as I feel.”
“Being here with me?”
“Especially being here with you. It’s always better sharing an experience with someone else.”
She finished her first glass and poured herself another. Did she need it for courage? I didn’t think she was secretly an alcoholic, but perhaps a little nervous. It was an odd sensation with someone I thought was bold and confident, more so than me.
She took a sip and put down her glass, and came over to where I was standing by the windows. The view was breathtaking.
She slipped her hand in mine. “Thank you.”
I turned to look at her. She seemed totally relaxed.
“You’re welcome.”
She smiled. “It’s the fourth date. Do we talk about family now? Seems a good fit with champagne and canapés.”
Of course, families were always a touchy subject and often the cause of catastrophic breakups. Better to sink the ship now than later.
“Why not.”
…
Some time after I’d prepared for our dining experience, and Josephine had taken over the bathroom and turned it into a Hollywood make-up centre, she put her head out the doorway and asked for an opinion.
It was a sudden death moment. I was appallingly bad at giving opinions. My sister had long since learned never to ask my opinion.
I stood in the door and took in the vision before me. There were no words other than stunning. That was when my heart missed a beat.
What was fascinating was that she was totally unaware of the impact she made, still fussing over details. It was never going to be about her making an impact; it would be everyone else around her. It was going to be interesting when we walked into the restaurant.
But that wasn’t all that happened to me. In one of those unguarded moments when hands touched and eyes met, and breathing stopped, there was only one conclusion.
We kissed. Briefly. Like old friends who greeted each other perfunctorily, and then forgotten, as if it was just routine.
We walked to the restaurant and turned heads. We arrived, and half the establishment stopped, just to see who she was, and it felt like I would have heard a pin drop.
We ate Italian food she selected. We drank San Giovese reds, and Italian dessert, and she said she had died and gone to heaven.
The maitre’d sent us back to the hotel in a cab. Perhaps one too many glasses of wine.
Now was the tricky part. Was she impaired? Would I have to make a decision, and knowing me, it would be the wrong one? Was she relying on me to be the perfect gentleman?
I got inside the door and leaned against it. She was not drunk, but just happy. She did a swirl in the middle of the room and stopped, looking at me.
“I don’t bite.”
I didn’t want to ruin the moment, but I knew no matter what I did, I was going to. My sister said it was because I overthought everything, that I could not just pick the simplest outcome and execute it.
She held out both her hands. I closed my eyes, made a decision and went to her, taking her hands in mine.
“I had a lovely evening, Francis,” I noted she never called me Frank. “Everything was perfect. Now, all you have to do is stop thinking. I don’t want perfection. I want someone who cares, and you do. I can feel it. I’m trying very hard not to fall in love with you, and it’s not working.” A tear crept out from her left eye and slowly trickled downwards.
“You had me the moment we danced the waltz. I’ve been trying so hard from that moment not to wreck it.”
“You won’t. You can’t. Just be you. No one else. You don’t have to be who you think I want you to be. That’s been my problem for a long time, looking for something that doesn’t exist.”
I think we were all like that. Until we saw the light, or didn’t. “Then what do we do now?”
“We close our eyes and make a wish.”
…
© Charles Heath 2026
Thrills, Spills, and just a dash of Romance 