D is for – Delores
…
She spent the first weekend of the month dreaming about the things she was too afraid of doing every other weekend of every other month of her life until one day, something happened…
It was just another one of those dreams, of dressing up, going out to a bar, sitting at the counter sipping on a long, cool cocktail when a tall, dark, mysterious, handsome man slipped into the seat beside her…
“Doris!”
The grating sound that resembled her name came from another room, a voice that was the product of a lifetime of smoking 50 cigarettes a day, a voice belonging to her mother, the woman who was stealing the very days of her life away from her.
Doris was never going to see 30, well 35, alright then 41, again.
“What?”
She should not have yelled back, but it was the umpteenth time that day, and she was tired. Her mother’s hacking cough had kept her awake all night, and it wasn’t getting better. She refused to go into palliative care where they could look after her, preferring to burden her youngest daughter with her care. Payback, she said, for all the years she had to look after Doris.
Not the two older sisters who were married with children, who also got the same care as Doris, which basically amounted to zero. The other two couldn’t wait to get away from home, knowing what was going to happen.
“I need my pills. Where are they?”
“In the yellow bottle next to the bed.”
The old woman knew exactly where they were.
“There isn’t any cold water!”
Doris shrugged. It would be the third time she had refilled the water bottle. What was she doing with it?
She waited another minute, and then went to the refrigerator, got the jug of water, and then went into the room.
It was hot and stuffy, and the window closed. When she had last been in the room, it had been open. There was also a slight hint of cigarette smoke in the room. She had been smoking again, very much against doctors’ orders.
It meant her mother could move around and quite easily have come out. Certainly, if she could go to the window and put her head out, she would attempt to disperse the smoke outside.
Doris filled the bottle. “Next time, come out yourself. You’re quite capable of walking, and the exercise will do you good.”
“You heard the doctor. No excessive movement.”
“Doesn’t stop you from breaking the rules and smoking. You have emphysema, and smoking won’t help it.”
“I’m dying anyway. What do you care what I do?”
“More than you can obviously comprehend. Do whatever you’re going to anyway.”
She turned and walked towards the door. This battle of wills was never going to end, and she knew neither of them was going to win.
“What’s for dinner?”
She stopped and turned around. At first, she was sympathetic, but that was before she realised her mother could be very manipulative. “What do you care. You won’t eat it anyway.”
“That’s because it tastes horrible.”
“That’s because of your treatment. I’m just giving you what the doctor and dietician recommended.”
“Then I’d rather starve to death.”
Doris gave her a glare and left. There was no point arguing with her. All that would do was upset them both.
Respite came once a month when Doris was able to escape for a weekend, which inevitably ended up just staying at a small hotel not far from home, dining in the restaurant, and rising late to have breakfast in bed.
Just not having to wake to the barked sound of her name, “Doris,” reverberating through the passageways of their tiny house was reward enough.
But away from home, she could give free rein to her imagination and wondered what adventures she could get up to in just the course of one day.
This Saturday, she had arrived at the hotel, and the proprietor, Jason Prederfield, greeted her in his usual cheery manner, asked her the same question she had no doubt he asked all the guests on arrival, then gave her the key to the room.
It was the same room each week, overlooking the park and playing fields, which in summer hosted cricket matches and in winter soccer matches. Sometimes she told herself she should go over and watch, but more often, she just sat in the very comfortable old leather lounger chair near the window and read.
She was an avid reader of Mills and Boon romance novels and had brought three with her.
More than once, she had wished that her life would be like a Mills and Boon, but there was no fairy godmother, as there wasn’t a three-wish-granting genie.
If only there was.
She woke with a start, the sound of the book plopping on the ground after it slipped out of her hands, waking her.
It was just beginning to get dark, and soon night would set in. Time to dress for dinner. This time, instead of going down to the hotel dining room, she was going to treat herself at an upmarket fish restaurant not far from the hotel.
She had seen it when out on a morning walk the last few months and decided it was time for something different.
She showered, went through the rigours of applying her ‘face’ more carefully, added style and a ribbon to her hair, then brought her special occasion dress, her version of a little black dress that was less revealing than it could be but just enough to make her feel at least five years younger.
An examination of the finishing product in the mirror told her that her life was not over yet, and maybe something might just happen.
And, even if it didn’t, she had at the very least felt a spark of excitement she hadn’t for a long time.
At the bottom of the stairs, she collected her coat from the rack, and Jason helped her put it on and said that he had not seen her look better, in a tone that sent a shiver down her spine.
At the restaurant, she had made the booking in the name of Delores Sparks, using her surname but a change in the first. Doris sounded plain, the name of a woman who would never frequent this restaurant.
While being escorted to her table, she noticed there were about a dozen other diners, married or not, couples, and she could feel the eyes of the men on her.
She ordered a glass of French Champagne, Bollinger, one she had seen advertised, and perused the menu. For some odd reason, it was written in French, perhaps a mistake, but she smiled to herself.
She had taught herself French back in school and was now fluent. One of those dreams was to visit France, but she never quite found the courage to go alone.
Perhaps, after tonight…
The waitress came, stood beside her, and waited patiently. She gave her order in French and then had a quick conversation with the waitress, surprisingly able to speak the language.
It seemed to captivate some of the people around her.
A few minutes later, the maitre d’ came over. “Excuse me, madam.”
She looked up, wondering what the problem could be.
“We have a slight problem which you may be able to help us with. We are fully booked and just realised we have a regular guest whom we cannot accommodate…”
She glanced over to the front door and saw a middle-aged well-dressed man who looked on her opinion, either a banker, a lawyer, or an accountant. He was a rather good-looking man at that. Probably married, the good ones she discovered early on were always taken.
“Would it be possible to share a table? He says he is prepared to pay for your dinner. I will be happy to cover your drinks. He has been here many times, and I can vouch for his good character.”
Another glance, then back to the maitre’d.
“Of course. I accept your kind offer.”
“Very good. This will not be forgotten, Madam, when you return.”
She deliberately didn’t turn around to watch as he was escorted to the table, but as he appeared in front of her, she rose to greet him. In that moment, she felt a little weakness in her knees, a strange reaction indeed.
“I must thank you, Miss, Mrs…”
“Just call me Delores.”
“Delores, what an interesting name. My name is Jackson Courtney, Jack for short.”
They shook hands, a rather peculiar thing to do for her, perhaps not him, but the touch of hands was almost electric. She had to quell her imagination, or she might start blushing.
“Please, sit.”
They did, and the waitresses came over for his drink order.
“I’ll have what Delores is having.”
The waiter nodded and left.
Delores smiled inwardly, noticing how he pronounced her name had that edge to it that might give a little shiver.
“What brings you to this restaurant? I have to say I am somewhat surprised that you are dining alone.”
Oh, God. She hadn’t quite thought that far ahead that she would have a proper and sensible conversation, one that didn’t include her telling him she was a full-time carer for her sick mother.
Delores was far more sophisticated. She took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I try to find a small hotel and a different restaurant every so often after the hustle and bustle of London.”
“There’s no Mr Delores?”
“Is there no Mrs Courtney?” Better to answer a question with a question and work on that air of mystery.
He smiled, and it made all the difference to his expression. Tanned, signs of being an outdoor type, hair lightly receding, but no greying. There was more, but that would do for now.
“Touche. We should not dance on the boundaries. Do you prefer the weather or our health as suitable topics?”
A sense of humour. “Latest movies perhaps, a book, news that doesn’t involve politics, religion or that swamp on the other side of the Atlantic.”
“You don’t like America?”
“Oh, I love the country, I just don’t like half the people. But that’s a woman’s perspective. I suspect a man’s opinion would be different.”
And she swore to herself she was not going to talk politics. “Sorry. My personal opinions are mine and best left in my head. Sometimes I speak without thinking, or perhaps it sounded better in my head.”
“You and me both. I can and have put my foot in my mouth.”
His champagne came, and they decided to focus on the menu. He didn’t speak French.
…
The conversation was at first centred around interests. She did not think that she could tell him that she preferred to sit quietly and read, so she embellished the truth, that she liked taking long walks in the countryside, weekends in towns or cities by the sea, easily accessible by train, as she didn’t drive.
There was a stutter in the flow for just a moment when he learned she did not drive, and it led to a diversion about motor cars, and it seemed he had a passion for expensive vehicles.
She did not ask what type of car he drove.
He liked long walks and seaside towns, with piers.
He liked reading thrillers, adventure, and detective novels, and oddly, he thought, gardening magazines.
It led to the discovery that he lived only a few villages across, closer to London, and he took the train to work each day, and sometimes stayed in London overnight, if he worked late.
Oops, he said apologetically, he nearly stepped over one of the invisible boundaries.
Soup was followed by fish, followed by chicken, followed by bread and butter pudding. He selected the white wine, and she selected the after-dinner port they had with coffee.
Food, wine and coffee tastes were the same.
The restaurant had emptied, and the owner was hovering. It was time to leave.
He stood and helped her with the chair, then accompanied her to the door, where he helped her with her coat. They thanked the owner and left.
Outside, he said, “I must thank you for an excellent evening. I have not enjoyed myself for such a long time.”
“And I, too.” There was a question on her mind, one she wanted to ask but did not have the courage.
“I know this is perhaps impertinent of me, but perchance do you come here very often?”
She was going to say, as many times as you would ask me to, but instead had to temper he reply, taking into account the reality of her situation. “About once a month, though not necessarily here, but not far.”
“Do you stay at quaint hotels. I rather want to believe you have that sort of whimsical nature. I find staying in those modern concrete and glass building have no soul. Creaking stairs and floorboards, strange noises in the night, muffled conversations as they pass your door.”
She smiled. “I can see why you like mystery novels. But yes, I do. I’m staying at one tonight, the Railway Hotel has been there forever. My room is like it has been preserved from the 1800s.”
“What a remarkable coincidence. I’m staying there too. Please allow me to escort you there.”
If he had been anything other than the perfect gentleman, she might have refused, but he had. And why not? Ten minutes more with him would give her enough time to imagine what it might be like…
No… It could never be possible. Once he found out about her mother, the truth of her situation, that would be the end.
It was perhaps fortuitous that he was on the second floor and she was on the third. They bade each other good night in the lift, she stepped out, the door closed, and she was taken up to her room.
Once inside, she leaned against the door and smiled.
“Delores and the retired Captain” was practically writing itself, right there, in her head.
….
© Charles Heath 2025-2026