Day 255

Editing mistakes

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Sharpen Your Prose: Banishing Blunders Like Mixed Metaphors, Faulty Parallelism, and Tense Troubles

Ever read something that makes your brain do a little somersault? You know, where you start nodding along, then suddenly hit a snag, and have to backtrack to figure out what the writer actually meant? More often than not, these jarring moments stem from a few common writing errors.

Today, we’re going to tackle three of the most prevalent culprits: mixed metaphors, faulty parallelism, and incorrect tense. Mastering these will not only make your writing clearer and more impactful but will also elevate your credibility as a communicator. Let’s dive in!

The Tangled Web of Mixed Metaphors

Metaphors are beautiful things. They allow us to paint vivid pictures in our readers’ minds by likening one thing to another, creating deeper understanding and engagement. But when you try to weave too many disparate comparisons together, or let a metaphor stray too far from its original intent, you end up with a tangled, nonsensical mess.

The Goal: To use a single, consistent, and effective metaphor to illustrate a point.

The Blunder: Combining two or more unrelated metaphors, creating confusion and often unintentional humor.

Examples:

• Wrong: “We need to get our ducks in a row before we can really hit the ground running and climb the ladder of success.”
  • Why it’s wrong: “Ducks in a row” implies organization and order. “Hit the ground running” suggests immediate action and speed. “Climb the ladder of success” is about progress and achievement. These are all fine individual ideas, but crammed together, they create a jumbled image. Are we a team of organized ducks, a sprinter, or a mountaineer?
• Right: “We need to get our ducks in a row before we can begin implementing our new strategy.”
  • Why it’s right: This focuses solely on the “ducks in a row” metaphor, meaning to organize things properly, and it works.
• Right: “We need to be ready to hit the ground running when the project launches.”
  • Why it’s right: This uses the “hit the ground running” metaphor to convey the need for immediate and energetic action.
• Right: “Her dedication and hard work were instrumental in her climb up the ladder of success.”
  • Why it’s right: This uses the “ladder of success” metaphor effectively to describe career progression.

The Uneven Scales of Faulty Parallelism

Parallelism, or parallel structure, is about balance and rhythm in your writing. It means using the same grammatical form for elements in a series or comparison. When this balance is disrupted, your sentences can feel clunky and awkward, like a song with a broken beat.

The Goal: To present items in a series or comparison with consistent grammatical structure for clarity and flow.

The Blunder: Using different grammatical forms for elements that should be treated equally.

Examples:

• Wrong: “She enjoys hiking, to read, and swimming.”
  • Why it’s wrong: “Hiking” is a gerund (verb acting as a noun). “To read” is an infinitive. “Swimming” is another gerund. The shift from gerund to infinitive and back breaks the parallel structure.
• Right: “She enjoys hiking, reading, and swimming.”
  • Why it’s right: All elements are gerunds, creating a smooth and consistent list.
• Right: “She enjoys to hike, to read, and to swim.”
  • Why it’s right: All elements are infinitives, also creating parallel structure.
• Wrong: “The new software offers speed, efficiency, and it is easy to use.”
  • Why it’s wrong: “Speed” and “efficiency” are nouns. “It is easy to use” is a clause.
• Right: “The new software offers speed, efficiency, and ease of use.”
  • Why it’s right: All elements are nouns, providing consistent structure.

The Shifting Sands of Incorrect Tense

Verb tense is the anchor that grounds your narrative in time. It tells your reader when an action is happening. Inconsistent or incorrect tense can lead to confusion about the sequence of events or the overall timeframe of your writing.

The Goal: To consistently use the appropriate verb tense to accurately reflect the time of the actions being described.

The Blunder: Shifting verb tenses unnecessarily within a sentence, paragraph, or narrative.

Examples:

• Wrong: “Yesterday, I go to the store and buy some milk.”
  • Why it’s wrong: The action happened “yesterday,” which is in the past. The verbs should reflect this past action.
• Right: “Yesterday, I went to the store and bought some milk.”
  • Why it’s right: Both verbs are in the simple past tense, accurately describing past events.
• Wrong: “The character wakes up, realizes he is late, and runs for the bus.”
  • Why it’s wrong: While this can be used for vivid storytelling (present tense for immediacy), if the rest of the narrative is in the past tense, this shift is jarring.
• Right (if the narrative is in the past): “The character woke up, realized he was late, and ran for the bus.”
  • Why it’s right: Consistent use of the past tense for a narrative set in the past.
• Wrong: “She will tell you the secret if you ask her nicely.”
  • Why it’s wrong: Mixing future and present tense for actions that are concurrent or related in time.
• Right: “She will tell you the secret if you ask her nicely.” (This is actually correct as it describes a future conditional event).
  • Let’s try another wrong example: “She told me that she will visit tomorrow.”
  • Why it’s wrong: “Told” is past tense, but “will visit” refers to a future event.
• Right: “She told me that she would visit tomorrow.” (Using “would” for reported future in the past).
  • Or Right: “She tells me that she will visit tomorrow.” (If the telling is happening now).

Practice Makes Perfect (and Polished Prose!)

Don’t be discouraged if you find yourself making these errors. Most writers do, especially when they’re developing their voice. The key is to be aware of them and to actively proofread with these concepts in mind.

• Read aloud: Hearing your writing can help you catch awkward phrasing and inconsistencies.
• Enlist a fresh pair of eyes: Ask a friend or colleague to review your work.
• Use grammar checkers: While not foolproof, they can highlight potential issues.
• Study examples: Keep an eye out for effective (and ineffective) uses of metaphors, parallelism, and tense in the writing you admire.

By paying attention to these fundamental aspects of grammar and style, you can transform your writing from merely understandable to truly compelling. So, go forth and banish those blunders! Your readers will thank you for it.