A square peg in a round hole

Doesn’t that describe at least one of your characters?

It seems a lot of my characters fit that category, and I’m beginning to think it’s like being a typecast Hollywood actor.  Once the villain, always the villain.

Perhaps they take after me, or I’m drawing on all those experiences I’ve had over the years, where I don’t think I’ve ever quite fitted in.

It’s probably why, most of my working life, I have been a contractor, trying not to stay in one place too long.

Early on I tried the ‘I’m going to work for this place for the rest of my life’ route.  Being young, you don’t quite know what to expect, and, as the years pass, and progression through the ranks is slow, sometimes non-existent, and you see others who started after you, move up, you wonder if it’s you, or just a quirk of fate.

Probably me.

I worked hard and did all that was asked of me, sometimes more.  I’ve seen people above me take credit for what I’ve done, and being in that position where you couldn’t really say anything.  Who would believe you?

Better not to have a superior, and work autonomously on a project, or just a part of it.  No one can take credit for your work because you were hired specifically to do that job.  In doing so, I found a greater level of satisfaction in doing so.

Of course, it doesn’t come with permanency, and when there is a glut of labour looking to do the same task, work can sometimes be hard to find.  And there’s that retirement thing that is always at the back of your mind.  Working for yourself, in a manner of speaking, doesn’t come with the same benefits as a permanent job.

Even in life, I haven’t exactly followed the mold, because life throws a great deal at you, and sometimes it’s difficult if not impossible to get overwhelmed.  Often it’s difficult to step back for a moment because everyday issues and demands force you to confront them.  Kids need to go to school, meals still need to be put on the table, houses don’t pay for themselves, and gardens aren’t maintenance-free.

I’ve never been able to keep up with the Jones’, even though because of human nature, I tried.

Money does run out.  It never used to be the case, but in a throwaway society that has to have everything, including a new smartphone every year, the latest car every two years, and a trip around the world first-class because that’s what the neighbours are doing.

People smile, tell you how great things are, but behind the smile, well, we try not to talk about it.  Maybe we should.  That way we would not be attending funerals of people who have died before their time.

But, I reached retirement, something I thought long ago I never would, and I actually own both my house and my car and have a few dollars in the bank.

And I have time to do the writing I always wanted to.  It may not amount to much in the greater scheme of things, but it took a long time for this square ped to find a square hole.

It doesn’t mean my characters will.



2 thoughts on “A square peg in a round hole

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