Day 190

Writing exercise – go back to an old story and rework it

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When You Least Expect It

Life on the edge, in the corporate world I had immersed myself in, could be exciting, enthralling, or exhausting.  People say accountants were boring creatures of habit, with all the charisma of a monotone bingo caller with no sense of alliteration.  Pretty much an apt description of me.

My definition of life on the edge?  Thinking that I would ever work up the courage to ask Anne Menzies out on a date.  Hell would freeze over first.

Besides, who had the time to think about such trivialities when there was a pending merger, and the numbers had to be perfect.  Which is why my morning started badly and just got gradually worse.

Why?

The numbers didn’t add up.

I tossed the pile of printouts and colourful charts that were supposed to say business was booming, now and into the future, but the flat line said otherwise.  It was different to the result I ran the day before, and I had the afternoon to find out why before the big meeting the next morning.

We were going to dazzle the prospective merger partner.

Or not.

I sighed and threw myself into the chair and rubbed my eyes and then temples, as if that would ease the headache that was starting to get worse.

Somehow, Gallagher, the senior partne,r would see this as my fault.

“Anyone for lunch?” I yelled.  Asking in a normal voice would certainly be ignored.  So much I remembered from the day before.

Jack, my best friend and the complete antithesis of me, had been right.  Anyone with an office was in the firing line.  Anyone who preferred to be a general dogsbody, well, no one looked at them twice.

I heard the gong that signified noon, and for some time to take a break.  Company-provided lunchtime activities included working off those extra pounds in the games room, or putting them back on in the dining room, where, for a modest cost, one could overindulge to one’s hearts content.

Said Jack, as he did every Tuesday and Thursday, put his head in the door and shook his head.  My desk was a mess, unlike his, which was always clear.  Jack was a good friend, well-meaning, but not promotional material.  He was good at taking orders, not giving them, but he was the all-around nice guy who could hit it off with all the girls, and I discovered, a useful acquaintance.

He waited until I looked up, then said, “Ship sinking?” he asked, then came in and sat in the office’s most comfortable chair.

“Will all hands, when it should just be the Captain.”

“The numbers don’t add up?”

Sometimes he said stuff that was spot on accurate, but he would have no idea that it was actually the case.  Or he was cleverer than I gave him credit.

I gave him one of my ‘I don’t believe you said that’ looks.  “You know accountancy.  You either fudge the numbers, or you fudge the numbers.”

“Like that is it?”

“Exactly.”

“Fancy a few tranquillising drinks to help straighten out your perspective on life?  Helps numbers to add up the way they always should have.”

“Not today.  Food only, and I haven’t got a lot of time.”

He sighed.  “Be careful, Rick, or you might turn into a real accountant.”

“Har bloody har.”

He stood and frowned.  “Coming?”

Why not?  I needed a break from, and maybe a change of scenery might change the perspective.  Food, then a stroll downtown.  I need time to think.”

He shrugged.  “I’ll catch up with you downstairs.”

Whenever I decided to go out for lunch, someone always found a way to mess with the plan.

Perhaps I shouldn’t be grumpy this time because it was Anne.  Anne was one of the more important personal assistants in the building and dropped by my office on her way to the staff dining room.

She had only done that once before, to deliver a message from her manager, who just happened to be Gallagher.  I knew she wasn’t here to see me for any other reason.

“Ah, Rick.  Caught you just in time.”  The tone said everything I needed to know.  Another impossible deadline.

“Mr Gallagher is after the forward sales and revenue charts?”

“They’re coming.”

“When?”

“Christmas.”  It was wrong to be flippant, but that was the sort of day it was.

Her expression clouded over, the smile turning to a frown.

“The numbers don’t add up.”

“He provided you with access to the system, and I know he’s spent the last two days putting the numbers together.”

“He needs the charts by the close of business tonight.”

“Then you can tell him it will be sorted by then.”

“You don’t sound confident?  He told me you were the best man for the job, that you haven’t let him down yet.”

No pressure then.  Sent the one girl I liked down to put me on the spot.  If I failed him, I failed her; chances gone.

“I’m sure he won’t deny me sustenance.  I work better after I’ve had something to eat.”

“Going up to lunch?”

“Not today.” I ushered her to the door, grabbing my coat as we went out.

“And miss your favourite dish?”

How did she know it was my favourite dish?  Curious.

“It certainly looks that way.”

“Going out with the boys?”

“Only one.”

“Jack?”

I nodded.

She sighed.  “You could do so much better.”

I left her at the lift foyer; she was going up, I was going down.  In my lift, I had only one thought: what was it about Jack she didn’t like?

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©  Charles Heath  2025