It’s funny what goes through your mind…

And odd too that we might think it ‘funny’, but the English language is littered with a great many ironic, and sometimes daft expressions.

But, I am beginning to understand what it’s like waiting for a result to a test that you don’t really want to know.

I imagine sitting in the doctor’s office after a phone call to say the results are in, you’re sitting there patiently waiting, and then he comes in, sits down, always with the poker face so you have no idea what he’s thinking, or about to say.

With COVID the death sentence comes as a phone call, and you get to sit in a room and wait. Here, once you get a test you go straight home and self quarantine until the result is known.

That won’t be until tomorrow.

Meanwhile the symptoms I have mirror that of a very bad cold. Runny nose, sore throat, aches and pains, very bad sinus that leads to a headache that ordinary paracetamol has no effect on.

Is it worse than yesterday, yes.

Am I having trouble breathing?

No, but sometimes it feels like I am. I know it’s the mind messing with me. Psychosomatic, I think the word is, that we will ourselves to believe something is true even if it isn’t.

Am I trying to convince myself I have COVID? Do I realise that in a state where there is either one or no new cases day in and day out, that it’s possible, not being in or near a hot spot that I could get it?

Improbably to impossible.

Yet here I sit thinking the worst, and not the best. Why is that?

Nevertheless, my mind then switches to the possibilities, that if it is my time, what is there left to do? A truck load of stuff. It’s too early to be checking out, that there’s a hundred and one things I have to get done.

OK, time for an attitude readjustment. In two days it will be my eldest granddaughters 17th birthday. To be honest, I don’t know where that 17 years went because the last time I think about it, she was 10 and we had taken her to London and Paris because I promised her I would.

Well, that’s it then, isn’t it. I don’t have COVID 19, I’ve just got a very bad cold. Down with the lemon drinks, the paracetamol for the aches and pains and stop mulling over death. Too soon, too much to do.

Let you know tomorrow what the result is.

3 thoughts on “It’s funny what goes through your mind…

    1. It has come back negative, so all I have is the common cold, which is, for some reason, a rarity. I think all of the measures put in place to stop COVID has also stopped the spread of the cold too


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