This is Chester.  I just told him it’s Dog Appreciation Day.

And it got the expected response, you don’t have a dog.

Ahh.

Then I tell him that a neighbour had a dog just like the one we’re thinking of getting, and they’re going to lend him to us for a few hours.

You can’t do that.  This is not a dog-friendly environment.  Remember the last time you had a dog.  Fleas in the carpet, stains on the wall, and as for toilet training…

Yes, he has a point.  The last dog we had was almost a disaster, besides the fact it was ten times larger than Chester.  Friendly though, when Chester didn’t hiss at him.

This dog, I say, is smaller, not much bigger than you.  A jovial chap who doesn’t bark much, just when recalcitrant cats annoy him, so I’m told.

Who are you calling recalcitrant?

No mistaking that distinct look of displeasure, almost recalcitrant I thought.

It’s going to happen, get over it.

Was that a cat shrug I saw?  Another icy stare just to chill the atmosphere in the room, and he leaves.

Yes, I do like stirring the pot.  You think he’d know by now.