Tag: Reference

A twitter biography

Every year I come back to revisit this, and each year it becomes a harder issue to deal with.  All that’s recently changed is the number of characters you can use

I’ve been trawling the endless collection of twitter descriptions provided by their users, noting that there is a restriction of 280 characters.

How do you sum yourself up in 280 characters?

I don’t think I can, so we tend to put down a few catchphrases, something that will draw followers.  I’m thinking the word ‘aspiring’ will be my catchword.

I’m aspiring to be a writer, or is that author?  Is there a difference, like for instance, one publishes ebooks on Amazon, one publishes hard copies in the traditional manner?

Is there a guide to what I can call myself?

Quite simply put, but in more than 140 characters, married happily, two wonderful children, three amazing grandchildren, and a wealth of experience acquired over the years.

Actually, that sounds rather boring, doesn’t it?

Perhaps it would be better if I was a retired policeman, a retired lawyer, a retired sheriff, a retired private investigator, a retired doctor, someone who had an occupation that was a rich mine of information from which to draw upon.

Retired computer programmers, supermarket shelf stackers, night cleaners, accounts clerks and general dogsbody s don’t quite cut the mustard.

I have also become fascinated with the expression ‘killer biography’.  Does it mean that I have to be a ‘killer’?

Better than the self-confession above.  Should we try to embellish our personal history in order to make it more appealing?

It’s much the same as writing about daily life.  No one wants to read about it, people want to be taken out of the humdrum of normalcy and be taken into a world where they can become the character in the book.

And there you have it, in a nutshell, why I write.

 

In a word: Hair

You comb it every day, or brush it, it can be tangled, fine, smooth and silky or shiny.

It can fall out, you can have none, it can be red, brown, black, blonde, white, and a million shades in between.

Yes, it’s hair.

It can be pesky stuff, especially from animals who tend to moult and leave it everywhere.  We have a cat and well know the foibles of hair loss.

You can get it cut, get it coloured, trimmed, permed by a hairdresser in a salon, where lots of subjects are discussed, and even movies have been made around salons.

I haven’t been within a hairsbreadth of either living or dying, but I’m sure someone has.  That hairsbreadth is not very wide, and I’d rather have bullets, arrows or fists missing by that margin.

You can be in another’s hair, that is, being a pest.

There’s the hair of the dog, supposedly a hangover cure.

And, going to scary places will make your hair stand on end.

 

This is not to be confused with the word heir which means something completely different, namely it described the legatee or inheritor of the family fortune.

Or not.  Ages ago, only sons were seen as heirs, and that was even more prevalent among royal families.  It also applied to heirs when it came to titles, and the family wealth and property, which went to the eldest son.

It makes a good plotline for many a murder mystery.

Also, let’s be clear, there is also an heiress and an heirloom.

 

Then there is another, hare, which is a cousin of the rabbit and considered a pest.

I’m not quite sure how someone came up with the descriptor harebrained, which has nothing to do with the hare.

It could mean to run quickly and usually in a careless manner.

In a word: Second

It would be very interesting if duelling was still allowed.  There are a few people I’d like to stand toe to toe with, take ten paces, then test my ability to shoot with an old style flint duelling pistol.

What’s this got to do with anything?

It’s where our word of the day comes in.  If I lose my nerve, or I know my opposite number is a better shot, my second would have to stand in my place.

It’s,  if anything, an older use of the word.

Of course, it mainly means, on one hand, coming second in a race or a competition, not exactly the place you really want to be, simply because no one really remembers who came second.

It plays host to a plethora of statements using second as part of the saying, such as,

Second rate, second hand, even if it had more than one owner, second best.

But then there’s a few more that mean something else like a second look, mainly because you didn’t trust your eyes, second nature, it’s been drilled into you (a rather painful idiom if it truly was) and second sight, though this might not necessarily be a verifiable attribute.

And, of lesser note, I’m not necessarily sure I’m second to none.

On the other hand, and pardon the pun using this definition, it also describes a length of time, very short in fact, and it takes 60 of them to make a minute.

Hang on, it’ll only take a second.  Yes, we often use the word in vain.  I doubt there is any one of us who could do anything useful in a second.

In a word: Dry

We all know what this means, without moisture, in other words not wet.

It could also mean dull factually, as in reading some non-fiction books, and quite often those prescribed as mandatory reading at school.

You could also have a dry sense of humour, where you have to be on your game to understand, or get, the humour.

It could also describe boredom by saying that it’s like watching paint dry.

For those who like a bit of a tipple, the last place you want to go is a dry bar, where no alcohol is served.

Perhaps this should be mandatory for weddings and funerals, places where feelings often run very high and do not need the stimulus of half a dozen double Scotches.

And speaking of alcohol and cider in particular, you can have it sweet, dry, or draft. Many people prefer dry, sometimes the drier the better, especially wine, and oddly martinis.

Aside from whether they are shaken or stirred.

But the most fascinating version of dry is dry cleaning. Just how can you ‘dry’ clean clothes?

Would that be what they call an oxymoron?

In a word: Bore, or is that boar

I’ve had the ubiquitous pleasure of being called one, and that is, a bore.

Probably because I spend so much time telling people about the joys and woes of being a writer.

You can be a tedious bore, cooking could be a bore, and then you could bore someone to death, and then you will bore the responsibility of, yes, doing just that.

Would it be murder or manslaughter?

But, of course, there are other meanings of the word, such as, on my farm I have a bore.

No, we’re not talking about the farmhand, but where artesian water is brought to the surface, in what would otherwise be very arid land.

Or, could be the size of a drill hole, and in a specific instance the measurement of the circular space that piston goes up and down.  And if you increase the size of the bore, the more powerful the engine.

Or it could refer to the size of a gun barrel, for all of you who are crime fiction writers.

But, let’s not after all of that, confuse it with another interpretation of the word, boar, which is basically a male pig.

It could also just as easily describe certain men.

Then there is another interpretation, boor, which is an extremely rude person, or a peasant, a country bumpkin or a yokel.

I’ve only seen the latter in old American movies.

There is one more, rather obscure interpretation, and that is boer, which is a Dutch South African, who at the turn of the last century found themselves embroiled in a war with the British.

In a word: Saw or Sore or Soar

In the first or is the second instance of the word Sore, we all know this malady can sometimes fester into something a lot worse.

Or that a person could be a sore loser

Or after spending an hour on the obstacle course, they come off very sore and sorry.  I never quite understood why they should be sorry because no one ever apologises to inanimate object.  Or do they?

Or perhaps he was sore at his friend for not telling him the truth.

Then, there’s another meaning, saw, which can mean the past tense of seeing, that is, I saw them down by the pool.

I could also use a saw, you know, that thing that custs through wood, steel, plastic, almost anything.  And yes, it’s possible someone might actually saw through a loaf of bread.

There are hand saws, electric saws, band saws, coping saws, even a bread knife, all of these have one thing in common, a serrated edge with teeth of different sizes, designed to cut, smoothly or roughly depending on the size.

Add it to bones, and you have Captain Kirk’s description of his medical officer on the Enterprise.  I’m not sure any doctor would like to be addressed as saw-bones.

But then, confusingly in the way only English can do, there’s another word that sounds exactly the same, soar

This, of course, means hovering up there in the heavens, with or without propulsion or oxygen.

Yes, it’s difficult to soar with eagles when you work with turkeys.  I’ve always liked this expression though most of the time people don’t quite understand what it means.

 

In a word: Dog

Yes, it’s that little or big furry thing that’s also known as man’s best friend, a dog.

But the word has a number of other meanings, like a lot of three-letter words.

It can also mean to follow someone closely.

If you are going to the greyhound racing, you could say you’re going to the dogs, or it could mean something entirely different, like deteriorating in manner and ethics.

Then there are those employers who make their workers work very hard, and therefore could be described as making them work like a dog.

Some might even say that it is a dog of a thing, i.e. of poor quality.

There’s a dogleg, which could aptly name some of those monstrous golf course holes that sometimes present the challenge of going through the wood rather than around it.

Tried that and failed many times!

A dog man used to ride the crane load from the ground to the top, an occupation that would not stand the test of occupational health and safety anymore.

And of course, in a battle to the death, it’s really dog eat dog, isn’t it?

Sunshine Blogger Award

It appears I have been nominated for a Sunshine Blogger Award.  When I started this blog, it was not with the intention of winning anything, but just to be an outlet for my writing.

I felt it would be better to put it somewhere, and maybe others might like to read it, and, for better or worse, either like it or hate it or be somewhere in between.  MY hope is always that people might get some enjoyment out of the short, long, and serialized stories.

Of course, that expanded into an irreverent look at certain words with many meanings, adding to the confusion that is the English language, bits of my attempts to write, observations of the sometimes crazy world around me, and lately the adventures of being owned by a cantankerous cat.

I guess a lot of us writers have similar owners.

That said, I must thank Debby Winter for nominating me, and at some point, I will nominate another 11 bloggers whom I believe also deserve the award.

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I note that the Sunshine Blogger Award isn’t an official award, but it’s a fun way of spreading motivation and inspiration.

If you read this and like to get involved (and why wouldn’t you?) don’t be shy and consider yourself nominated!!

Nadia D. Mazonis,  Tales from the Neon Beach,  Scarlett79,  Geet,   Stefanie Dibben,  Gwenny,  Shayleene MacReynolds,  marilyn jaye lewis.  balladeer,  Jewels of a Magnolia,  Tessa

 

As for the questions

1) Are you familiar with SEO strategies? Have you optimized your site yourself? Did you do off-site or on-site SEO for your blog or website and are you happy with the results?

The answer to this question is that I have no idea what SEO is, well, I do know a little about it, but not enough to do anything meaningful, especially with my own blog.  I doubt that WordPress will allow me to make whatever modifications that would make it better, unless, of course, I pay them wads of money for the privilege.  So, not being blessed with millions, I’m happy to remain in obscurity.

2) What is the most embarrassing clothing item you have ever worn?

I can’t say that I have anything I’d call embarrassing, but then it has been said that most of my clothes would fit into that category, depending on who you meet.  Everyone seems to have a judgemental streak in them, and I dare anyone to say they haven’t judged someone based on their clothes.  I know I have.

3) Have you ever intentionally broken the law? When? Where? and how?

This is a tricky one.  We often break the law, but whether it’s intentionally or otherwise is a moot point.  I speak of speeding, going through stops signs without stopping, and running traffic lights as they go from yellow to red.  But straight out intentionally?  The thing is, very few of us intentionally break the law.  That’s the way we’re taught, both from our family and from both the church and educational institutions.

4) If you were given $750 to spend on anything you wanted, what would you buy?

To someone who has spent most of their lives struggling to make ends meet, $750 is a lot of money.  We were not exactly poor, but we managed.  There never seemed to be a time when we had a spare $750 because as soon as we managed to get ahead, something would go wrong.  What would I do with it?  Put it aside and wait for the next ‘problem’.

5) If you had enough money that you never needed to work again, what would you do with your time?

Work tirelessly to get people to read.  People who read have less time to get into mischief.

6) If you could start over your life and change one thing, what would you change?

That’s a tricky one, and if we could defy the time/space continuum I’d have to say, my parents.  And, yes, I know, if I changed them, I wouldn’t exist to be asked this question.  It’s the very definition of being on a merry-go-round.

7) What do you consider your greatest strength, your greatest weakness?

Greatest strength:  Being there for my children and grandchildren, even when they say they don’t need me.

Greatest weakness:  Having psioratic arthritis.  With the COVID-19 virus, my odds of surviving it are low.

I know stating your weakness means something else, like drinking too much, or smoking, or easily losing your temper, but those are stress-related and are common weaknesses.  We all have those.

8) What have you tried lately that is new and exciting?

Define lately!  In the life and times of a pandemic, perhaps what is new, but not necessarily for some, exciting, is just staying home.  You either get to reacquaint yourself with your family, or you begin to hate them.  What’s that old saying, familiarity breeds contempt, and children.

If this was not a pandemic, going somewhere I’ve not been before and trying some food that I’ve not tried before.  So far in all my travel experiences, that was a week spent in Tuscany, in Italy.

9) What was the greatest adventure in your life so far?

Taking my grandchildren overseas to see how the other half of the world lives, and seeing their eyes opened to the fact they live in one of the best countries in the world, Australia.  Of course, the rest of the world will disagree with me, but then, we’re all parochial in one way or another.

10) What makes you happiest and when you think about it you cannot help but smile?

That’s probably the most difficult question to ask anyone because there are very few who can say they are ‘happy’ or ‘content’ with their lives.  I don’t think anyone can say there’s been a sustained period where they’ve been happy, but, there may be times when we reflectively smile at an event, like seeing your child being born, the day you bring a puppy home and your children’s faces light up, but, then, as the years, pass, life gets in the way, and those events become distant memories.

Some people will disagree, and I’m glad they can for their sakes.

11) Are some people’s lives worth more than others? Why or why not?

Isn’t that the same as ‘playing God’?

Here’s the thing, no one’s life is more important or less important than another because the moment we start making choices, where does it end?  Like Germany in the 1930s and 1940s?

Watch the movie ‘Soylent Green’, or ‘Logan’s Run’, and then think about whose life you believe is less important.

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THE RULES

* Introduce yourself

* Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their site –> https://aloysius5.com/

* Provide a link to a favourite article on your blog :> http://bit.ly/2TPxxiv

* Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you

* List all rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award in your blog post.

* Nominate 11 new bloggers and their blogs. Leave a comment on their blog to let them know they received the reward and ask your nominees 11 questions.

 

Oh, yes, and the 11 questions are:

1)   What do you do for work, and what would you rather be doing, if you were given the opportunity?

2)   Do you read constantly or sporadically, and what is your favourite genre

3)   Boring, I know, but what is your favourite television show, and why?

4)   If you could be anywhere in the world rather than where you are, where would that be and why?

5)   What is the most annoying thing about people you dislike?

6)   How many people can you count on as ‘real’ friends, if your situation turned to the worst-case scenario?

7)   If you are young, where would you like to be in, say, 30 years time, and if you are older, what is one thing you would have done differently?

8)   Do you prefer to travel by car, bus, train, or aeroplane, and why?

9)   If you could retire tomorrow, where would that be, and why?

10)   Is having having wealth or health more important to you?

11)   and the doozie for the last question, if you have a current partner, do you think this is the ‘one’ or do you think the ‘one’ might still be out there?

(You do not need to answer this, but in my case, I have found the ‘one’ and we’ve been together nearly 45 years.)

In a word: Can

Yes, another three letter word with a multitude of meanings, like

I can do this, it’s what we tell ourselves when faced with an impossible mission

You might want to carry a can, perhaps of drink, once made out of steel but now from aluminium.  It can also hold food, like baked beans

You might have a jerry can, which holds petrol, mighty handy if you are driving and run out.  It’s happened to me once

There’s the can-can, but that’s a dance

Can you do this, can I have a drink, you can park over there, it seems we can seek or be given permission

It is an informal name for either prison or a toilet, though it depends on where you are

And in the United States, a ‘tin can’ can also be used to describe a navy vessel

If you get canned from your job, it really means you got fired

In the can means the film has been completed

Of course, there is always a trash can which makes both a mess and a loud noise when they tip over, particularly at night

And, which also make a good set of wickets, painted on, when playing backyard cricket with your friends

 

 

In a word: Bill

Yes, it is a name, short for William, though I’m not sure how Bill was derived from William.

But…

As you know, like many words this one has a number of other meanings, like,

A bird has a bill, particularly those birds with webbed feet

A bill is something you are sent to pay for goods or services, and often turn up when least expected, or when money is tight

And, sadly, they are neverending.

Then there’s fit the bill, which means it is suitable.

It could also be a list of people who appear in a programme.

It is used to describe banknotes, such as a twenty dollar bill.

It could be a waybill, used for the consignment of goods.

It could also be a piece of legislation introduced into parliament.

In some places in the world, it could be the peak of a cap

But the most obscure use of the word bill goes to:  the point of an anchor fluke.