Day 238 – Every book is an offering

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Beyond the Debut: Why the Second Book Defines an Author (And Why Every Book is an Offering)

There is a romanticised myth in the literary world about the debut author. We celebrate the overnight success, the passion project nurtured for a decade in secret Google Docs, the breathless debut novel that finally breaks through into the world.

And it’s true: Everybody can write a good first book.

Before you gasp, let that settle. With enough time, raw life experience, obsessive editing, and sheer willpower, almost anyone who has a story in their heart can pull a debut novel out of the ether. It is a massive achievement, a testament to grit and creativity.

But as the old industry adage goes: An author is proven on the second book.

This transition—from a one-hit wonder of passion to a sustainable, evolving creator—is where the true journey of authorship begins. Coupled with the profound truth that every book is simply an offering, and you just wait to see who will accept it, we uncover the real philosophy of a writing life.

Let’s explore what it takes to survive the sophomore slump, why the second book matters so much, and how to release your work into the world with grace.

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Part 1: The Myth of the First Book (and the Reality of the Second)

Why can everyone write a good first book? Because your debut is a reservoir. It is a collection of everything you’ve thought, felt, read, and experienced up until that exact point in your life. It has no deadline, no expectations, and no ghost of a previous work looking over its shoulder. It is pure, unadulterated self-expression.

Writing a first book is like shouting your truth into a canyon for the first time. It echoes wildly. It feels magnificent.

Then comes the contract. Or the independent publishing timeline. And suddenly, you have to do it again—only this time, under pressure.

The second book strips away the safety net of “beginner’s luck.”

• The “Sophomore Slump” is psychological: Suddenly, you aren’t writing in a vacuum. You are acutely aware that someone is going to read this.
• The well has been tapped: That first reservoir of accumulated life experiences? You used the best parts of it in Book One. Book Two requires you to dig deeper, think harder, and invent new wells.
• The identity shift: Writing the first book makes you feel like a writer. Writing the second book makes you become a professional.

To prove yourself as an author, you have to show that you aren’t just a vessel for one good idea, but a wellspring of creativity. You have to prove you can master the craft when the initial adrenaline has worn off.

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Part 2: Every Book is an Offering

Regardless of whether it’s your first book, your second, or your tenth, the act of publishing brings with it a terrifying vulnerability. We spend months or years bleeding onto the page, polishing the prose, and designing the cover. When we finally hit “publish” or send the manuscript to our publisher, we hold our breath, expecting the world to bow.

When it doesn’t—or when the reaction is mixed—it can crush us.

This is where reframing the mindset becomes essential: Every book is an offering.

Think of creation not as a transaction where you demand applause, sales, or critical acclaim, but as placing something on an altar. You craft it with love, skill, and reverence. You polish it until it shines. And then, you step back.

You do not control who walks past the altar. You do not control who picks it up, who scoffs at it, or who takes it home and treasures it forever.

• Letting go of outcomes: When you view a book as an offering, the pressure shifts from “Will they love me?” to “Did I give my best?”
• Finding your true readers: Not every offering is meant for every person. When you release a book, you are simply waiting to see who will accept it. The beauty of the modern literary landscape is that there is an audience for almost everything—if you are brave enough to offer it authentically.

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Part 3: Navigating the Intersection of Craft and Acceptance

If the second book proves the author, and every book is an offering, how do we navigate the messy middle between writing the words and letting the world judge them?

1. Write for the Reader on the Other Side: While the book is an offering, remember that offerings are meant to be received. As you write your second book, keep your ideal reader in mind—not as a critic, but as a companion. What gift are you preparing for them?
2. Detach from the Metric of “Success”: Book One might sell a million copies, and Book Two might find a quiet, dedicated cult following. Both are valid. Success isn’t always a bestseller list; sometimes, success is simply the fact that the offering was made, received, and changed even one person’s life.
3. Fall Back in Love with the Process: The cure for “second-book syndrome” is to stop looking at the mountain peak and focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Remember why you started writing in the first place, long before anyone was watching.

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Final Thoughts: Keep Making Your Offerings

Everybody can write a good first book. But the ones who stay—the ones who build a legacy, a catalogue, and a true career—are the ones who face the blank page a second, third, and fourth time.

Writing is an act of supreme courage. It is standing in the marketplace of ideas, holding out a piece of your soul, and whispering, “I made this for you.”

So, write the difficult second book. Embrace the fear. Make your offering, place it gently on the altar of the world, and wait with an open heart to see who reaches out to accept it.

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Are you working on a debut, staring down the intimidating second book, or somewhere further along the journey? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

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Day 237 – Writing Exercise

…

While I loved the idea of pulling off the impossible, something I had managed with pure blind luck three out of five times in the past, the latest invitation, printed in Gothic lettering on a parchment card with gold trimmings, arrived via a secure link on my notepad computer at 3.33am.

“Table 7. Seven subjects. Zero truth. Secure the Accord. 7 pm today.”

Just because I took a job that mediated compulsive liars, pathological diplomats, and corporate executives that couldn’t spell ‘ethics’, the employers asked me back again.

And again.

And then today, in a private back room in The Brass Lantern. 7 pm. Seven compulsive liars, seven people chosen to tell me exactly what I wanted to hear, seven subjects that were going to promise the impossible. They all wanted the contract, to sign that Accord.

None of them realised the most untrustworthy person in that room was me.

…

Each of the seven were already at the table, having left the one chair at the top of the table for me. I did not bring anything other than a dummy folder with blank paper in it, and a single piece of paper, the Accord. Each of the seven watched me pull the eighth chair, look at it, then remain standing.

It was a reflex thing, an instant decision based on the nervous twitch on the fellow at the end of the table.

My mouth was dry, my heart beating faster, as I looked at each one in turn;

To my left was Dr Aris Thorne, a disgraced geneticist whose hands shook; whether it was too much caffeine or the rumoured Parkinson’s was debatable; he had promised once that he could cure cancer in a month, given the resources. He had the lab and the knowledge to do good rather than manufacture street-grade drugs for the cartel.

Next to him was Mara, a neon-haired syndicate courier who bragged that she could smuggle a blue whale across the Sahara in a briefcase; albeit under the influence of several snorts of cocaine. She had a worldwide distribution network second to none.

Beside her was an ex-politician, Louis Betmead, defending indecency charges, who leapt from the fire into the corporate world. He still held a lot of sway with his former colleagues.

Next was Andrea Wills, computer programmer selling rogue code on the dark web, and lately an AI Ethicist reportedly worshipping silicon gods. Or the other way around, no one was quite sure. She could create the program that could make or break the system.

On the other side of the table, making me nervous, was an arms dealer, Francisco Antonelli, who reputedly had a heart of gold, or that was what he told everyone who would listen. He transacted all of his deals in gold bullion. His soldiers could enforce peace rather than create havoc.

Next to him was Simone, one name only, a mystic selling enlightenment in half-gram doses to a never-ending supply of fools. She had a sales network more sophisticated than any legitimate business.

And, last but not least, Dan the journalist, a man who had seen more action in war zones than any soldier alive, and had told me once he had not slept since the Berlin Wall fell. I believed him. He looked as though he had taken some of Simone’s enlightenment. He could write the story that saved the world rather than report on it burning down.

They were all an unwitting link in a chain we needed to make the Accord happen.

I had met each and every one of them once or twice over the past seven years, memories I wanted to forget.

“We were just talking about you,” Dr Thorne said when my eyes came back to him. “We all agreed. You are the only one with the vision to see the big picture. Whatever you need from me, it’s yours.”

“I can write an expose that will bring down the Domino cartel by morning,” the journalist said. It was clear he was as high as the proverbial kite.

I had no doubt every single one of them was reading my micro expressions, practised for hours in front of a mirror, tailoring their pitch to offer me the moon on a silver platter.

The thing is, each and every one of them was connected in a way that could give me the global ceasefire, but I could not ask them for it because they would offer me a utopia they couldn’t deliver.

I didn’t sit down; I pulled out a cigarette lighter and set fire to the dummy file and held it until the fire caught, then dropped it into the rubbish bin behind me.

The table went dead silent; the smiles froze.

“What are you doing?” The politician was the first out of his torpor.

“I’m burning the agenda,” I said, mt voice flat and cold, and entirely devoid of hope. “Which is good because I hate all of you. Every single one of you is a fraud, a hack, or a liability. Thorne, your genome therapy is a parlour trick; Mara, you couldn’t smuggle a cold in a blizzard; and Dan, your article will be pulped before it hits the printing presses.

I looked back at the last flames consuming the paper before dying down to embers.

“I don’t want your promises; I don’t want your lies. I want you to look at the ashes of that agenda and then tell me the one thing you are incapable of doing, because if you offer me the impossible, I’m walking out that door, and letting the whole world burn with it.”

For five agonising seconds I could see each one of them re-evaluating their position. I’m sure their bosses said to promise the world, but not what they could really do unless pushed to the absolute limit.

The doctor muttered, “I can’t guarantee the lab won’t explode or let loose a pandemic virus.”

Mara: “My couriers are compromised.” She crossed her arms defensively, dropping the smooth-talking persona. “Half of them are working for Interpol, and the other half I can’t trust as far as I could kick them.”

“My editors are cowards,” the journalist muttered, staring at his hands. “They’ll kill the story the moment the advertisers call to boycott them if it’s published.”

One by one, the impossible promises were rescinded, replaced with an ugly, fragile truth: the fact that they all relied on the others, without actually saying it out loud. They confessed their weaknesses, their failures, the logistical nightmares, and their limitations. Just not their dependence.

When the last member’s voice stopped, the room felt light. No one was trying to outdo the others.

It was a start.

I pulled that single sheet of paper out of my pocket, a bare-bones, brutally realistic draft of an Accord that factored in human error, market corruption, and political cowardice.

I held it up. “Good. Now we’ve established what we can’t do; let’s sign the only thing we can do.”

Each one wrote what they could do, then signed.

Thorne promised to create the antidote to reverse the effect of the pandemic he had unwittingly caused

Wills would lend her AI farm to help create a lasting antidote, and digitise the sales and distribution channels

Simone would lend her sales network as the top level of the distribution chain

Mara would repurpose her couriers to link with Simone’s sales network, and distribute the product

Antonelli would lend his army of mercenaries to protect everyone involved in manufacture and distribution

Bitmead would get his political colleagues to create the necessary legislation to make it legal, and use diplomatic channels to get the rest of the world onside.

Dan would not write about the world burning down, but to inform the world that a solution will be found and distributed as soon as possible.

Each one had a vital part in the Accord. Each one depended on the other.

Each one needed to show that they were cooperating because if there had been no Accord, they would have been arrested and thrown into a dark hole. They just didn’t know that was the last resort, though I knew at least three of them were at the top of a ‘most wanted’ list. It may have been hinted to them that signing the Accord was an incentive to have their names moved down quite a few places.

Whatever the motivation, it was a start.

Whether it lasted, whether I would have to step back into this room and start again, that remained to be seen. And if they did cooperate and work for the betterment of mankind rather than line their own pockets – and that was a big if – no one would be more surprised than me.

But…

I did what they wanted. One piece of paper, seven signatures. A signed Accord. And finally, hope.

…

©  Charles Heath  2026

Day 237 – Writing Exercise

…

While I loved the idea of pulling off the impossible, something I had managed with pure blind luck three out of five times in the past, the latest invitation, printed in Gothic lettering on a parchment card with gold trimmings, arrived via a secure link on my notepad computer at 3.33am.

“Table 7. Seven subjects. Zero truth. Secure the Accord. 7 pm today.”

Just because I took a job that mediated compulsive liars, pathological diplomats, and corporate executives that couldn’t spell ‘ethics’, the employers asked me back again.

And again.

And then today, in a private back room in The Brass Lantern. 7 pm. Seven compulsive liars, seven people chosen to tell me exactly what I wanted to hear, seven subjects that were going to promise the impossible. They all wanted the contract, to sign that Accord.

None of them realised the most untrustworthy person in that room was me.

…

Each of the seven were already at the table, having left the one chair at the top of the table for me. I did not bring anything other than a dummy folder with blank paper in it, and a single piece of paper, the Accord. Each of the seven watched me pull the eighth chair, look at it, then remain standing.

It was a reflex thing, an instant decision based on the nervous twitch on the fellow at the end of the table.

My mouth was dry, my heart beating faster, as I looked at each one in turn;

To my left was Dr Aris Thorne, a disgraced geneticist whose hands shook; whether it was too much caffeine or the rumoured Parkinson’s was debatable; he had promised once that he could cure cancer in a month, given the resources. He had the lab and the knowledge to do good rather than manufacture street-grade drugs for the cartel.

Next to him was Mara, a neon-haired syndicate courier who bragged that she could smuggle a blue whale across the Sahara in a briefcase; albeit under the influence of several snorts of cocaine. She had a worldwide distribution network second to none.

Beside her was an ex-politician, Louis Betmead, defending indecency charges, who leapt from the fire into the corporate world. He still held a lot of sway with his former colleagues.

Next was Andrea Wills, computer programmer selling rogue code on the dark web, and lately an AI Ethicist reportedly worshipping silicon gods. Or the other way around, no one was quite sure. She could create the program that could make or break the system.

On the other side of the table, making me nervous, was an arms dealer, Francisco Antonelli, who reputedly had a heart of gold, or that was what he told everyone who would listen. He transacted all of his deals in gold bullion. His soldiers could enforce peace rather than create havoc.

Next to him was Simone, one name only, a mystic selling enlightenment in half-gram doses to a never-ending supply of fools. She had a sales network more sophisticated than any legitimate business.

And, last but not least, Dan the journalist, a man who had seen more action in war zones than any soldier alive, and had told me once he had not slept since the Berlin Wall fell. I believed him. He looked as though he had taken some of Simone’s enlightenment. He could write the story that saved the world rather than report on it burning down.

They were all an unwitting link in a chain we needed to make the Accord happen.

I had met each and every one of them once or twice over the past seven years, memories I wanted to forget.

“We were just talking about you,” Dr Thorne said when my eyes came back to him. “We all agreed. You are the only one with the vision to see the big picture. Whatever you need from me, it’s yours.”

“I can write an expose that will bring down the Domino cartel by morning,” the journalist said. It was clear he was as high as the proverbial kite.

I had no doubt every single one of them was reading my micro expressions, practised for hours in front of a mirror, tailoring their pitch to offer me the moon on a silver platter.

The thing is, each and every one of them was connected in a way that could give me the global ceasefire, but I could not ask them for it because they would offer me a utopia they couldn’t deliver.

I didn’t sit down; I pulled out a cigarette lighter and set fire to the dummy file and held it until the fire caught, then dropped it into the rubbish bin behind me.

The table went dead silent; the smiles froze.

“What are you doing?” The politician was the first out of his torpor.

“I’m burning the agenda,” I said, mt voice flat and cold, and entirely devoid of hope. “Which is good because I hate all of you. Every single one of you is a fraud, a hack, or a liability. Thorne, your genome therapy is a parlour trick; Mara, you couldn’t smuggle a cold in a blizzard; and Dan, your article will be pulped before it hits the printing presses.

I looked back at the last flames consuming the paper before dying down to embers.

“I don’t want your promises; I don’t want your lies. I want you to look at the ashes of that agenda and then tell me the one thing you are incapable of doing, because if you offer me the impossible, I’m walking out that door, and letting the whole world burn with it.”

For five agonising seconds I could see each one of them re-evaluating their position. I’m sure their bosses said to promise the world, but not what they could really do unless pushed to the absolute limit.

The doctor muttered, “I can’t guarantee the lab won’t explode or let loose a pandemic virus.”

Mara: “My couriers are compromised.” She crossed her arms defensively, dropping the smooth-talking persona. “Half of them are working for Interpol, and the other half I can’t trust as far as I could kick them.”

“My editors are cowards,” the journalist muttered, staring at his hands. “They’ll kill the story the moment the advertisers call to boycott them if it’s published.”

One by one, the impossible promises were rescinded, replaced with an ugly, fragile truth: the fact that they all relied on the others, without actually saying it out loud. They confessed their weaknesses, their failures, the logistical nightmares, and their limitations. Just not their dependence.

When the last member’s voice stopped, the room felt light. No one was trying to outdo the others.

It was a start.

I pulled that single sheet of paper out of my pocket, a bare-bones, brutally realistic draft of an Accord that factored in human error, market corruption, and political cowardice.

I held it up. “Good. Now we’ve established what we can’t do; let’s sign the only thing we can do.”

Each one wrote what they could do, then signed.

Thorne promised to create the antidote to reverse the effect of the pandemic he had unwittingly caused

Wills would lend her AI farm to help create a lasting antidote, and digitise the sales and distribution channels

Simone would lend her sales network as the top level of the distribution chain

Mara would repurpose her couriers to link with Simone’s sales network, and distribute the product

Antonelli would lend his army of mercenaries to protect everyone involved in manufacture and distribution

Bitmead would get his political colleagues to create the necessary legislation to make it legal, and use diplomatic channels to get the rest of the world onside.

Dan would not write about the world burning down, but to inform the world that a solution will be found and distributed as soon as possible.

Each one had a vital part in the Accord. Each one depended on the other.

Each one needed to show that they were cooperating because if there had been no Accord, they would have been arrested and thrown into a dark hole. They just didn’t know that was the last resort, though I knew at least three of them were at the top of a ‘most wanted’ list. It may have been hinted to them that signing the Accord was an incentive to have their names moved down quite a few places.

Whatever the motivation, it was a start.

Whether it lasted, whether I would have to step back into this room and start again, that remained to be seen. And if they did cooperate and work for the betterment of mankind rather than line their own pockets – and that was a big if – no one would be more surprised than me.

But…

I did what they wanted. One piece of paper, seven signatures. A signed Accord. And finally, hope.

…

©  Charles Heath  2026

Day 236 – In a world ruled by fiction

…

Inventing Reality: Why J.G. Ballard’s Warning Matters More Than Ever in the Age of Fiction

“We live in a world ruled by fictions of every kind—mass merchandising, advertising, politics, popular psychology, and so on. It is our job as writers to invent reality. For better or for worse, we are the creators of the reality of the 20th [and 21st] century.” — J.G. Ballard

In 1971, British visionary J.G. Ballard made a startling observation about the trajectory of human culture. Long before the advent of social media algorithms, deepfakes, 24-hour news cycles, and virtual reality, Ballard understood a fundamental truth: humanity no longer experiences raw reality. Instead, we navigate a labyrinth of manufactured narratives, corporate mythologies, and political spectacle.

Ballard argued that because the “real” world had been entirely overwritten by fictions, the traditional role of the novelist—to simply mirror society—was dead. Writers could no longer afford to be passive observers. To make sense of the world, they had to become active participants in the construction of a new reality.

Decades later, as we grapple with “fake news,” curated digital identities, and hyper-reality, Ballard’s manifesto feels less like a literary theory and more like a survival guide.

Here is an exploration of what Ballard meant, how his thesis manifests today, and why the job of the writer is more crucial—and subversive—than ever.

---

The Architecture of Illusion: How We Live in Fictions

Take a moment to look around you. Almost everything you interact with on a daily basis is underpinned by a fiction.

• Money is a collective fiction—a piece of paper or digital code that holds value only because we agree it does.
• Brands sell us fictions of identity, belonging, and happiness, convincing us that a specific pair of sneakers or smartphone will fundamentally alter who we are as people.
• Politics has long traded policy for narrative, where electability is performance art, and truth is treated as a flexible commodity.

Ballard didn’t view these fictions merely as harmless lies; he saw them as powerful, active forces reshaping human psychology. In novels like Crash, High-Rise, and The Atrocity Exhibition, he explored how modern technology and media blur the line between the artificial and the authentic until the artificial becomes our lived experience.

When the boundaries dissolve, the people living inside the illusion no longer know what is real. This is the condition Ballard diagnosed, and it is the exact landscape we inhabit today.

---

Why Traditional Realism is Broken

For centuries, the primary goal of fiction was mimesis—holding a mirror up to nature. Authors like Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, and Leo Tolstoy documented the social structures, moral dilemmas, and daily rhythms of their times with pinpoint accuracy.

However, Ballard argued that nineteenth-century realism was no longer equipped to handle the twentieth century (let alone the twenty-first). How do you write a realistic novel about a world where the President of the United States communicates via late-night social media posts, where artificial intelligence can write poetry, and where billions of people spend hours a day interacting with people who don’t exist?

If a writer simply writes a traditional, kitchen-sink drama today, they are ignoring the elephant in the room: the overwhelming, suffocating presence of media and manufactured myth.

To write realistically about the modern world, a writer has to acknowledge that we are drowning in fictions. This is why Ballard leaned into the surreal, the clinical, and the provocative. He used heightened, bizarre fictions to puncture the mundane fictions of everyday life.

---

“It is Our Job as Writers to Invent Reality”

What did Ballard mean when he said writers must invent reality?

He didn’t mean writers should lie, nor did he mean they should retreat into escapist fantasy. Instead, he meant that because our cultural reality is artificial, constructed by marketers and politicians, writers have a duty to construct better, truer, or more revealing counter-fictions.

A great writer acts as a diagnostic physician for the cultural psyche. By inventing extreme scenarios, speculative futures, or surreal narratives, fiction exposes the invisible mechanisms holding our society together.

Consider how visionary science fiction and speculative fiction have “invented” our current reality:

• William Gibson coined the term “cyberspace” and anticipated the internet age in Neuromancer long before most people owned a computer.
• George Orwell mapped out the mechanics of surveillance capitalism and state propaganda in 1984.
• Margaret Atwood drew from existing patriarchal structures to invent the chillingly plausible world of The Handmaid’s Tale.

These authors did not simply record the world; they diagnosed it by inventing fictions that revealed deeper, unspoken truths. They exposed the matrix by building a better map of it.

---

The Writer’s Duty in the Age of Algorithms

Today, Ballard’s call to action takes on an urgent new meaning. We are no longer just consumers of fiction—we are its products. Algorithms feed us custom-tailored realities designed to keep our attention, polarise our views, and monetise our anxieties.

In this landscape, propaganda is automated, and mass delusion is industrialised.

If we surrender the invention of reality entirely to tech monopolies, politicians, and advertisers, our cultural imagination shrivels. This is why the creative act of writing is an act of resistance.

When a writer sits down to craft a story, a poem, or a novel, they are refusing the pre-packaged narratives handed down by the culture industry. They are carving out a space of radical imagination, forcing readers to pause, question their assumptions, and see the world through a completely new lens.

---

Conclusion: Writing the World Anew

J.G. Ballard challenged writers to step out of the shadows of passive storytelling and take responsibility for the psychological architecture of their era.

We do not live in a neutral world. We live in a world saturated with manufactured desires, political mythologies, and digital illusions. To accept this passively is to be shaped by it. But to write against it—to dissect the illusions and invent new, more honest realities—is the ultimate calling of the modern writer.

The fiction of the world is loud, relentless, and persuasive. It is up to writers to be louder, stranger, and truer.

---

What are your thoughts on Ballard’s manifesto? How do you see modern fiction reflecting—or fighting against—the manufactured realities of today? Let us know in the comments below!

…

Day 236 – In a world ruled by fiction

…

Inventing Reality: Why J.G. Ballard’s Warning Matters More Than Ever in the Age of Fiction

“We live in a world ruled by fictions of every kind—mass merchandising, advertising, politics, popular psychology, and so on. It is our job as writers to invent reality. For better or for worse, we are the creators of the reality of the 20th [and 21st] century.” — J.G. Ballard

In 1971, British visionary J.G. Ballard made a startling observation about the trajectory of human culture. Long before the advent of social media algorithms, deepfakes, 24-hour news cycles, and virtual reality, Ballard understood a fundamental truth: humanity no longer experiences raw reality. Instead, we navigate a labyrinth of manufactured narratives, corporate mythologies, and political spectacle.

Ballard argued that because the “real” world had been entirely overwritten by fictions, the traditional role of the novelist—to simply mirror society—was dead. Writers could no longer afford to be passive observers. To make sense of the world, they had to become active participants in the construction of a new reality.

Decades later, as we grapple with “fake news,” curated digital identities, and hyper-reality, Ballard’s manifesto feels less like a literary theory and more like a survival guide.

Here is an exploration of what Ballard meant, how his thesis manifests today, and why the job of the writer is more crucial—and subversive—than ever.

---

The Architecture of Illusion: How We Live in Fictions

Take a moment to look around you. Almost everything you interact with on a daily basis is underpinned by a fiction.

• Money is a collective fiction—a piece of paper or digital code that holds value only because we agree it does.
• Brands sell us fictions of identity, belonging, and happiness, convincing us that a specific pair of sneakers or smartphone will fundamentally alter who we are as people.
• Politics has long traded policy for narrative, where electability is performance art, and truth is treated as a flexible commodity.

Ballard didn’t view these fictions merely as harmless lies; he saw them as powerful, active forces reshaping human psychology. In novels like Crash, High-Rise, and The Atrocity Exhibition, he explored how modern technology and media blur the line between the artificial and the authentic until the artificial becomes our lived experience.

When the boundaries dissolve, the people living inside the illusion no longer know what is real. This is the condition Ballard diagnosed, and it is the exact landscape we inhabit today.

---

Why Traditional Realism is Broken

For centuries, the primary goal of fiction was mimesis—holding a mirror up to nature. Authors like Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, and Leo Tolstoy documented the social structures, moral dilemmas, and daily rhythms of their times with pinpoint accuracy.

However, Ballard argued that nineteenth-century realism was no longer equipped to handle the twentieth century (let alone the twenty-first). How do you write a realistic novel about a world where the President of the United States communicates via late-night social media posts, where artificial intelligence can write poetry, and where billions of people spend hours a day interacting with people who don’t exist?

If a writer simply writes a traditional, kitchen-sink drama today, they are ignoring the elephant in the room: the overwhelming, suffocating presence of media and manufactured myth.

To write realistically about the modern world, a writer has to acknowledge that we are drowning in fictions. This is why Ballard leaned into the surreal, the clinical, and the provocative. He used heightened, bizarre fictions to puncture the mundane fictions of everyday life.

---

“It is Our Job as Writers to Invent Reality”

What did Ballard mean when he said writers must invent reality?

He didn’t mean writers should lie, nor did he mean they should retreat into escapist fantasy. Instead, he meant that because our cultural reality is artificial, constructed by marketers and politicians, writers have a duty to construct better, truer, or more revealing counter-fictions.

A great writer acts as a diagnostic physician for the cultural psyche. By inventing extreme scenarios, speculative futures, or surreal narratives, fiction exposes the invisible mechanisms holding our society together.

Consider how visionary science fiction and speculative fiction have “invented” our current reality:

• William Gibson coined the term “cyberspace” and anticipated the internet age in Neuromancer long before most people owned a computer.
• George Orwell mapped out the mechanics of surveillance capitalism and state propaganda in 1984.
• Margaret Atwood drew from existing patriarchal structures to invent the chillingly plausible world of The Handmaid’s Tale.

These authors did not simply record the world; they diagnosed it by inventing fictions that revealed deeper, unspoken truths. They exposed the matrix by building a better map of it.

---

The Writer’s Duty in the Age of Algorithms

Today, Ballard’s call to action takes on an urgent new meaning. We are no longer just consumers of fiction—we are its products. Algorithms feed us custom-tailored realities designed to keep our attention, polarise our views, and monetise our anxieties.

In this landscape, propaganda is automated, and mass delusion is industrialised.

If we surrender the invention of reality entirely to tech monopolies, politicians, and advertisers, our cultural imagination shrivels. This is why the creative act of writing is an act of resistance.

When a writer sits down to craft a story, a poem, or a novel, they are refusing the pre-packaged narratives handed down by the culture industry. They are carving out a space of radical imagination, forcing readers to pause, question their assumptions, and see the world through a completely new lens.

---

Conclusion: Writing the World Anew

J.G. Ballard challenged writers to step out of the shadows of passive storytelling and take responsibility for the psychological architecture of their era.

We do not live in a neutral world. We live in a world saturated with manufactured desires, political mythologies, and digital illusions. To accept this passively is to be shaped by it. But to write against it—to dissect the illusions and invent new, more honest realities—is the ultimate calling of the modern writer.

The fiction of the world is loud, relentless, and persuasive. It is up to writers to be louder, stranger, and truer.

---

What are your thoughts on Ballard’s manifesto? How do you see modern fiction reflecting—or fighting against—the manufactured realities of today? Let us know in the comments below!

…

Days 234 and 235 – Writing Exercise

…

I was early.

Twenty minutes early.

A long time ago, it had been drummed into me that no one likes anyone who turns up late. 

For anything.

There were no excuses.

Except if you were dead.  My father was very adamant about reasons, and for him that was the only one that would work.

People, he said, had the capacity to understand the transportation network, and basic skills of reading a map, and coordinate the two.

He would have loved having the latest god devices that worked out your trip and told you when you would get there, factoring in the known delays.

I could have arrived five minutes before, but his warning always sat in the back of my mind.

Don’t be late.

It was a pity everyone else didn’t seem to care as much as I did, or saw getting somewhere early as a character fault.

Out of my past four first dates, three were late, and one just didn’t bother to come.  I was giving the app one more chance

My sister had created the profile and basically set me up.  I was not the person she portrayed me as: fun-loving and outgoing, the life of any party.

I didn’t go to parties.

It was not that I couldn’t survive at one; it was not that I could not converse with my contemporaries, or was just a feeling that I would be judged.

Mid-thirties, reasonably well off, a nice apartment, and a car that was oldish but reliable.  I had a library, I pretended I could write, and my day job was basically the same as heading exam papers, looking for insurance fraud in submitted policyholder claim documents.

At least my job was not boring.

Maybe some of the people I worked with were.  We were stashed away in a large room surrounded by reference books and boxes of documents.

The professor, the head of the department, the librarian, who could quote statutes and laws going back a thousand years, the headmistress, a woman of few words and a permanent scowl, the flibbety-gibbet, who spoke in riddles and Gen Z speak, deciphering the new abbreviated cell phone language, the maths teacher, all formulas and algorithms, and me.

I didn’t belong because I had no specialty other than I could see a plot line in a claim statement that could be the start, middle or end of a good story.  Some of those claimants would make the bestseller list if they ever wrote a book.

My sister Jen said I might meet a nice lady at work.

She was wrong.

She said I might meet an old flame at the high school reunion.  They were all happily or unhappily married.

She said if I put myself out there, something might happen.

It did.

I discovered all the good women were taken, or had sworn off men.  I didn’t blame them.  Of all men were like my older brother, just turned forty and married for a third time to a woman young enough to be himself daughter, then I agreed with them.

The waitress had given me time to pick something off the menu and came over.

“Nice carnation.”

She knew why I was there and was kind enough not to make it a subject.

“Seeing if it will look good on my coffin.”

She made a strange face.  “You’re not dying, surely.  Had a mom come in the other day; just got the bad news.  I don’t think I could cope with two in one week “

“Not dying.  Physically, anyway.  Coffee, your biggest mug.”

“Cake?”

“Maybe later, depending…”

She knew exactly what I meant.  She wasn’t old enough to have endured the gamut of world ills she probably saw every day in a cafe like this.

I looked around, a quick assessment of the clientele.

Shop assistants, drinks after work, discussing the worst customers.  They seemed to be the norm these days.  Clerks, weary, trying to pick themselves up before going home.  Star-crossed lovers in that early phase where love leaks out all over the place.  Men in managerial positions, drinking beer, all-knowing, and quite crude in their assessment of their female contemporaries, workers, some even disparaging their wives.  It was rush hour; those not in a hurry were trying to wash away another bad day.

If it was Friday, there would be a different mood, as if they were let off an invisible leash, only to fall into a different kind of malaise.

I wished I was not so interested in the office grapevine.  The mistakes were there, plain as day, and yet there were still people going down that same self-destructive path.

What did the professor call it: human nature.

My waitress, name tag Betty, delivered the coffee with a lopsided smile that would get less warm as the evening dragged on.  No job was worth the treatment she got, unless she needed the job.  There were no rings, so maybe she was not married, had no children or husband to go home to, only to look forward to another day in the snake pit.

Ten minutes to my swipe date.  I kept an eye on the front door, the table I was sitting at selected specially.  I had cased the cafe earlier in the week, much like a secret agent, knowing where the exits were if I had to leave in a hurry.

Two of the girls had not exactly used the most current photograph of themselves, for obvious reasons.  I had, hence the lack of matches; my photo did not match that fun-loving bio.  I looked like the bookworm I was.

I didn’t believe in deception.

A redhead, roll-neck sweater and leather coat, minimal make-up, unruly hair, smiling eyes.

I couldn’t be that lucky.

I wasn’t.

A blonde that was a brunette or perhaps both, with too much rouge and bright red lips.  Green and grey with yellow heels.  Smokes.  Please no.

Thank you, there is a God.

I knew hair colour and styles; my sister had used all of them, and was currently orange, though I was not sure it was because she had gone too far or it was actually a colour.

Her twin, colour-wise, just appeared, someone old enough to know better than to dress like a woman half her age, and it looked rather odd.  She had the confidence to pull it off, but her manner didn’t scream, looking for a steady relationship.

She was with six other girls who arrived before her, but she was clearly the leader of the pack.

And then there’s the one that takes your breath away.  The one that, twenty years later, when you can have a sensible conversation with a grandchild, you tell them, ‘she had me the moment she walked in the door’.

She was not my date.

She was my age, and not worn down by the vicissitudes of life, someone who took care of herself, dressed sensibly, and did not pretend to be something she was not. 

She scanned the cafe, and then smiled, a smile that would lighten even the darkest of rooms, and I envied the person she was meeting.  Jealous perhaps.

A girl, her daughter perhaps.  I sighed.

The exact time ticked over.  No likely candidate.

Yet.

The waitress hovered.  That world-weary look, before the service smile.

“Another?”

“Why not?”

I hoped she was on commission.  Perhaps a sizeable tip.

Sandy blonde with red tips, cut short, gym clothes over a fit body.  Fresh from or going to a workout.  She was lean, wiry, a five-mile run every morning before breakfast.

I could picture her with a large collie dog, all cuddly and lovable.  I don’t know how that image got in my head.  As much as I knew she was the one.

She was not late, not harassed, nor apologetic.  Comfortable with the five minutes either way.  So was I.

Our eyes met, and she smiled.  Relief?  Maybe she had the same luck I did with potential dates.  I stood, no handshakes or air hugs, just a greeting and sit.

“I prefer Josephine, rather than Jo.  People who abbreviate your name seem to always be in a hurry.”

“Francis.  My mother calls me Frank, my brother Frankenstein, and my father hey you, so any of the above will do.”

“Except…”

“The obvious, yes.”

The waitress returned.  “Betty.”

“Josephine.”

They knew each other.  “The usual?”

Josephine nodded.  I had the feeling this was a routine, and ‘the usual’ was a code.  Dump and run.

“If you have somewhere else to be, I’ll understand,” I said.  I’d rather be disappointed now than
prolong the agony.

She looked surprised.  “Why would you say that?”

“I’m very good at reading between the lines.”

“You don’t do this very often.”

“My sister decided I should put myself out there.  She wrote my biography.  I didn’t agree with it, but I didn’t change it.”

“How many?”

“You’re the fifth.  Three didn’t match the bio with the vision, and the fourth didn’t come.  You could have just kept going.”

“I could.  It was a thought.  But then I would not have got to talk to you.  The usual greeting I get is, babe, or some other loose endearment.  That’s about my limit, and then I leave.

“Well, I’m not in a hurry. I will definitely never call you babe; you can pick the subject, and we can talk.  Over coffee.  Betty is expecting me to have cake.”

“The apple pie is nice.”

“You come here often?”

“This is the fifth time for me too.  It’s the longest I’ve stayed.”

In between the small talk, I took a more guarded but studious look at someone who was not what one first thought of her.  Perhaps we see what we want to see, until we take a step back and see what there really is in front of us.

Betty came back with her coffee and two pieces of apple pie.

I looked at her.

“You’re an apple pie guy.  I can tell an apple pie guy when I see one.  We do a great thanksgiving Turkey dinner if you’re hungry.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

She smiled, perhaps a bright moment in an otherwise drudge day at the coalface.

“I guess we’d better get the awful stuff out of the way.  What would you like to know?” 

It sounded practical in a doomsday sort of manner.

I thought for a second, perhaps two, about which version of me I’d tell her about.  “I want to say I’m that fun-loving guy my sister thinks I am, but the awful thing called responsibility got in the way.  My friends, or perhaps more appropriately acquaintances, spend their evenings on drinks with the office types, boozy weekends camping or something outdoors, and get into local sports.

“They invite me to parties and find blind dates, but I can’t quite see the point of practical jokes, rough-and-tumble sport, or getting drunk.  My job is boring, but practical; I have a university degree that is and isn’t useful, I like reading, and visiting old parts of Europe.”

“You drink?”

“Beer, wine that’s better than the usual swill my so-called friends indulge in, and the fine dining that goes with it.  On occasion.  A night or two in a posh hotel sometimes makes a difference.”

“By yourself?”

“Mostly.  Sometimes I think I’ve found someone who might appreciate the same, but I’m not sure if I set too high a standard.”

“Then not a guy who expects sex on the first date?”

“Is that what you expect of me?”

“Three out of four so far.”

“Then I apologise for my brethren.  I assure you that is not on my list.  I’d like to get to know a woman a lot better before that becomes an issue.  Anything you’d like to tell me?”

“What were you expecting?”

“That’s a question, not an answer.”

“I can be annoying.”

“I can see that.  More?”

She nodded.

“You look like a morning run type.  Wearing your gym gear here tells me you are possibly pretentious, or you just worked out, though having pie, you might be going after this.”

“Pretentious, eh.  I haven’t been called that for a while.  Perhaps after, to take my frustrations out on a punching bag.  I like classical music, while luxuriating in a spa, drinking champagne.  Not rich enough to stay in posh hotels, and love Italian.  Can speak a few words too.”

I suspect more than a few.  She had some Italian heritage, perhaps a grandmother who came as an immigrant.

“You work in a museum?”

She reminded me of a girl I knew in University who was studying classical art.  It might also have something to do with a lanyard I saw her pushing into her bag as she sat down.

“Something like that.”

OK.  We’ll hang onto that thought and circle back.

I could see momentary indecision in her eyes, the sort that comes with making a choice: to stay or go.  Was it worth investing another five minutes?

“I don’t know how to assess you; you make it very hard to decide whether you are what I think you are, or you’re very good at playing a role.”

“Perhaps it’s simply a fault in my programming.  I told the alien masters that sent me to spy on earthlings not to make me stand out. Obviously they didn’t read the memo.”

She laughed, hopefully because she knew I was joking.

“That’s it, of course.”

If anything was going to send her packing, that would be it.

And then when you least expected it, something comes out of left field.  “You like dancing?  The real stuff, ballroom.”

“Arthur Murray’s twenty-one lessons to become a professional?”

“Twenty-one?  Not the whole of a misspent youth?”

“Had to save room for riding a horse so I could play polo.”

“Polo?”

“I only mastered the horse part.  And then just so I wouldn’t fall off.”

“Oh, I think you master everything you put your mind to.  I was going to give this five minutes.  You have surprised me.  I have an early morning tomorrow, but now I know where to find you; we must go dancing.  For now, you can walk me to the subway.”

…

It was almost a week before I heard from her again.  I had expected to hear from her after a few days; I had been suitably sent to ex right swipe land because her profile disappeared.

She had found a dance club, if it could be called that, where we could practise the dark arts.  Or the tango, whichever made sense at the time.

I was happy to agree, if not for the dancing but just to meet her again.  She had piqued my interest, but I was under no illusion that I was her perfect match.

I met her outside the building, those few minutes over, cool as a cucumber, and in elegant but free-flowing clothes that changed her whole demeanour.

I wondered if she realised just how intimate ballroom dancing was.  For me, it would be worrisome to be so close, and to be reliant upon someone I didn’t know.

Something else I was aware of, she was totally unaware of the effect she could have on people.  She had this ability to sweep people up into her aura.

Inside, she introduced me to Madamselle Dubois, the proprietor and head of the dance academy.  I had read about her umpteen times, world champion back in an era when dancing mattered.

She obviously knew Josephine could dance; she asked for a dance with me, and I did my best impression of a professional, having left one on my two left feet at home.

Adequate was the grade she gave me.

No time to argue; it was straight into the waltz.  Once I got over the closeness thing and because there were no varying height issues, it was easy to settle into a routine.

It was fun.

It was exhausting.

And strangely, it built trust.  It was as if she had discovered a way that separated the fools from the genuine contenders.  Not that I would say I was one yet.

But there were moments when I felt almost too comfortable, and had to realise this was not about me; it was about her, and I was not going to take advantage of an innocent situation.

We called this a second date. We both agreed, in the middle of attempting a tango, that nothing was going to happen.  Just to be with her was enough.  That part whereby you start ending each other’s sentences was a long way off.

Or so I thought.

…

We had a third date under the watchful eye of Betty the waitress.  Same time, same table, same coffee.

And, “So, how did the first date go?”

I smiled.  There had to be a few in the cafe, and she would recognise the signs.  Anxious, sweaty palms, indecisiveness.  All of the above.

“We danced.  The Waltz, and then the Tango.”

“Then it’s a case of when is the wedding and where is my invite?”

“It’s just a third date, nothing special.”

Betty’s expression told me she thought otherwise.

Josephine arrived early, and this time wearing business clothes.  They looked more expensive than mine.  I made a mental note that I would have to up my game if this was to continue.

“You’re looking very authoritative.”

“Executive camouflage, Francis.  It’s how I can hide in plain sight.”

Betty became over, saw her, and rolled her eyes.  Then, “The usual.”

Josephine nodded.

“Now.  I had been thinking.  You like posh hotels, and I like travelling on planes; perhaps we can combine the two.  I have a friend who works for an airline, so travelling in style.  You can pick the hotel.”

It was a step forward, together, in another city, in a hotel.  If I was reading the signals correctly, which for me would be a first.

“Anywhere in particular.”

“New York.  I want to go to the top of the Empire State Building, walk in Central Park, and have a pretzel and a hot dog, you know, from the street vendors.”

“Moma?”

“Of course.”

“Do I assume we get a suite or…”

She gave me a rather unfathomable expression, one that made me feel like I’d failed the test.  If it was a test.

“I think we might take that step, and see what happens.  I mean, it’s not something I’ve done before, because usually relationships don’t last that long.  The idea of it is quite salacious, don’t you think?”

The idea had far too many strings attached, and one of them could strangle me.

“I know just the place.  Not sure about the degree of salaciousness, but it has an in-house doctor in case I have a heart attack.”

She smiled, and there was a little wickedness in it.  I didn’t think that was her nature, but more that she was testing the waters.  Date four was not a suggestion that we move to a more interesting level, as much as it was a test, and getting a response.

What would be an appropriate response?

“I’ll send you the date.”

…

We flew business class, or what I perceived to be business.  Wider seats, better service, front of the plane, first off.  Josephine looked like she travelled only one class, dressed accordingly and fitted in.

I wore a suit, only because I was advised to, because some airlines looked down on the chinos and polo shirt with loafers type.  I was glad I did.

At JFK, I had ordered a limousine to take us to the Midtown Hilton on Sixth Avenue, so we had both the MoMA and Central Park within walking distance.

She was impressed by the limousine, which I had requested the driver take the scenic route, if there was one, then arriving at the hotel in style to be greeted by a special check-in clerk and escorted to our room, one of the Presidential King Suites.  I was a Platinum member with certain privileges

I wanted to make it special.

She was impressed, but not overly so, and I did wonder briefly if she was a rebellious billionaire’s daughter who’d seen it all and then some.

That it had a separate bedroom seemed excessive, but I thought, for two days, it would give her space if she wanted or needed it.  There was only one bed, but it was huge. 

I was still unsure of how the sleeping arrangements would work.  I had no expectation we would be doing anything other than sleeping, and I certainly would not be hinting or suggesting otherwise.

She sat on the end of the bed as I came out of the bathroom.  “Which side?”

“Either is OK.  You?”

“Right.  I sleep better lying on my left side.”

There was a knock on the door, and I went over.  Room service with champagne and canapés.  I had them once before on a previous stay.

“Now you are trying to impress me.”

The waitress popped the cork and poured the first two glasses, then quietly left us alone.

“I’m just doing what I would normally do when I go away for a weekend.  Dinner is at Quality Italian.  It’s not far from here.”

“You are spoiling me.”

“I just want you to be as happy as I feel.”

“Being here with me?”

“Especially being here with you.  It’s always better sharing an experience with someone else.”

She finished her first glass and poured herself another.  Did she need it for courage?  I didn’t think she was secretly an alcoholic, but perhaps a little nervous.  It was an odd sensation with someone I thought was bold and confident, more so than me.

She took a sip and put down her glass, and came over to where I was standing by the windows.  The view was breathtaking.

She slipped her hand in mine.  “Thank you.”

I turned to look at her.  She seemed totally relaxed.

“You’re welcome.”

She smiled.  “It’s the fourth date.  Do we talk about family now?  Seems a good fit with champagne and canapés.”

Of course, families were always a touchy subject and often the cause of catastrophic breakups.  Better to sink the ship now than later.

“Why not.”

…

Some time after I’d prepared for our dining experience, and Josephine had taken over the bathroom and turned it into a Hollywood make-up centre, she put her head out the doorway and asked for an opinion.

It was a sudden death moment.  I was appallingly bad at giving opinions.  My sister had long since learned never to ask my opinion.

I stood in the door and took in the vision before me.  There were no words other than stunning.  That was when my heart missed a beat.

What was fascinating was that she was totally unaware of the impact she made, still fussing over details.  It was never going to be about her making an impact; it would be everyone else around her.  It was going to be interesting when we walked into the restaurant.

But that wasn’t all that happened to me.  In one of those unguarded moments when hands touched and eyes met, and breathing stopped, there was only one conclusion.

We kissed.  Briefly.  Like old friends who greeted each other perfunctorily, and then forgotten, as if it was just routine.

We walked to the restaurant and turned heads.  We arrived, and half the establishment stopped, just to see who she was, and it felt like I would have heard a pin drop.

We ate Italian food she selected.  We drank San Giovese reds, and Italian dessert, and she said she had died and gone to heaven.

The maitre’d sent us back to the hotel in a cab.  Perhaps one too many glasses of wine.

Now was the tricky part.  Was she impaired? Would I have to make a decision, and knowing me, it would be the wrong one?  Was she relying on me to be the perfect gentleman?

I got inside the door and leaned against it.  She was not drunk, but just happy.  She did a swirl in the middle of the room and stopped, looking at me.

“I don’t bite.”

I didn’t want to ruin the moment, but I knew no matter what I did, I was going to.  My sister said it was because I overthought everything, that I could not just pick the simplest outcome and execute it.

She held out both her hands.  I closed my eyes, made a decision and went to her, taking her hands in mine.

“I had a lovely evening, Francis,”  I noted she never called me Frank.  “Everything was perfect.  Now, all you have to do is stop thinking.  I don’t want perfection.  I want someone who cares, and you do.  I can feel it.  I’m trying very hard not to fall in love with you, and it’s not working.”  A tear crept out from her left eye and slowly trickled downwards.

“You had me the moment we danced the waltz.  I’ve been trying so hard from that moment not to wreck it.”

“You won’t.  You can’t.  Just be you.  No one else.  You don’t have to be who you think I want you to be.  That’s been my problem for a long time, looking for something that doesn’t exist.”

I think we were all like that.  Until we saw the light, or didn’t. “Then what do we do now?”

“We close our eyes and make a wish.”

…

©  Charles Heath  2026

Days 234 and 235 – Writing Exercise

…

I was early.

Twenty minutes early.

A long time ago, it had been drummed into me that no one likes anyone who turns up late. 

For anything.

There were no excuses.

Except if you were dead.  My father was very adamant about reasons, and for him that was the only one that would work.

People, he said, had the capacity to understand the transportation network, and basic skills of reading a map, and coordinate the two.

He would have loved having the latest god devices that worked out your trip and told you when you would get there, factoring in the known delays.

I could have arrived five minutes before, but his warning always sat in the back of my mind.

Don’t be late.

It was a pity everyone else didn’t seem to care as much as I did, or saw getting somewhere early as a character fault.

Out of my past four first dates, three were late, and one just didn’t bother to come.  I was giving the app one more chance

My sister had created the profile and basically set me up.  I was not the person she portrayed me as: fun-loving and outgoing, the life of any party.

I didn’t go to parties.

It was not that I couldn’t survive at one; it was not that I could not converse with my contemporaries, or was just a feeling that I would be judged.

Mid-thirties, reasonably well off, a nice apartment, and a car that was oldish but reliable.  I had a library, I pretended I could write, and my day job was basically the same as heading exam papers, looking for insurance fraud in submitted policyholder claim documents.

At least my job was not boring.

Maybe some of the people I worked with were.  We were stashed away in a large room surrounded by reference books and boxes of documents.

The professor, the head of the department, the librarian, who could quote statutes and laws going back a thousand years, the headmistress, a woman of few words and a permanent scowl, the flibbety-gibbet, who spoke in riddles and Gen Z speak, deciphering the new abbreviated cell phone language, the maths teacher, all formulas and algorithms, and me.

I didn’t belong because I had no specialty other than I could see a plot line in a claim statement that could be the start, middle or end of a good story.  Some of those claimants would make the bestseller list if they ever wrote a book.

My sister Jen said I might meet a nice lady at work.

She was wrong.

She said I might meet an old flame at the high school reunion.  They were all happily or unhappily married.

She said if I put myself out there, something might happen.

It did.

I discovered all the good women were taken, or had sworn off men.  I didn’t blame them.  Of all men were like my older brother, just turned forty and married for a third time to a woman young enough to be himself daughter, then I agreed with them.

The waitress had given me time to pick something off the menu and came over.

“Nice carnation.”

She knew why I was there and was kind enough not to make it a subject.

“Seeing if it will look good on my coffin.”

She made a strange face.  “You’re not dying, surely.  Had a mom come in the other day; just got the bad news.  I don’t think I could cope with two in one week “

“Not dying.  Physically, anyway.  Coffee, your biggest mug.”

“Cake?”

“Maybe later, depending…”

She knew exactly what I meant.  She wasn’t old enough to have endured the gamut of world ills she probably saw every day in a cafe like this.

I looked around, a quick assessment of the clientele.

Shop assistants, drinks after work, discussing the worst customers.  They seemed to be the norm these days.  Clerks, weary, trying to pick themselves up before going home.  Star-crossed lovers in that early phase where love leaks out all over the place.  Men in managerial positions, drinking beer, all-knowing, and quite crude in their assessment of their female contemporaries, workers, some even disparaging their wives.  It was rush hour; those not in a hurry were trying to wash away another bad day.

If it was Friday, there would be a different mood, as if they were let off an invisible leash, only to fall into a different kind of malaise.

I wished I was not so interested in the office grapevine.  The mistakes were there, plain as day, and yet there were still people going down that same self-destructive path.

What did the professor call it: human nature.

My waitress, name tag Betty, delivered the coffee with a lopsided smile that would get less warm as the evening dragged on.  No job was worth the treatment she got, unless she needed the job.  There were no rings, so maybe she was not married, had no children or husband to go home to, only to look forward to another day in the snake pit.

Ten minutes to my swipe date.  I kept an eye on the front door, the table I was sitting at selected specially.  I had cased the cafe earlier in the week, much like a secret agent, knowing where the exits were if I had to leave in a hurry.

Two of the girls had not exactly used the most current photograph of themselves, for obvious reasons.  I had, hence the lack of matches; my photo did not match that fun-loving bio.  I looked like the bookworm I was.

I didn’t believe in deception.

A redhead, roll-neck sweater and leather coat, minimal make-up, unruly hair, smiling eyes.

I couldn’t be that lucky.

I wasn’t.

A blonde that was a brunette or perhaps both, with too much rouge and bright red lips.  Green and grey with yellow heels.  Smokes.  Please no.

Thank you, there is a God.

I knew hair colour and styles; my sister had used all of them, and was currently orange, though I was not sure it was because she had gone too far or it was actually a colour.

Her twin, colour-wise, just appeared, someone old enough to know better than to dress like a woman half her age, and it looked rather odd.  She had the confidence to pull it off, but her manner didn’t scream, looking for a steady relationship.

She was with six other girls who arrived before her, but she was clearly the leader of the pack.

And then there’s the one that takes your breath away.  The one that, twenty years later, when you can have a sensible conversation with a grandchild, you tell them, ‘she had me the moment she walked in the door’.

She was not my date.

She was my age, and not worn down by the vicissitudes of life, someone who took care of herself, dressed sensibly, and did not pretend to be something she was not. 

She scanned the cafe, and then smiled, a smile that would lighten even the darkest of rooms, and I envied the person she was meeting.  Jealous perhaps.

A girl, her daughter perhaps.  I sighed.

The exact time ticked over.  No likely candidate.

Yet.

The waitress hovered.  That world-weary look, before the service smile.

“Another?”

“Why not?”

I hoped she was on commission.  Perhaps a sizeable tip.

Sandy blonde with red tips, cut short, gym clothes over a fit body.  Fresh from or going to a workout.  She was lean, wiry, a five-mile run every morning before breakfast.

I could picture her with a large collie dog, all cuddly and lovable.  I don’t know how that image got in my head.  As much as I knew she was the one.

She was not late, not harassed, nor apologetic.  Comfortable with the five minutes either way.  So was I.

Our eyes met, and she smiled.  Relief?  Maybe she had the same luck I did with potential dates.  I stood, no handshakes or air hugs, just a greeting and sit.

“I prefer Josephine, rather than Jo.  People who abbreviate your name seem to always be in a hurry.”

“Francis.  My mother calls me Frank, my brother Frankenstein, and my father hey you, so any of the above will do.”

“Except…”

“The obvious, yes.”

The waitress returned.  “Betty.”

“Josephine.”

They knew each other.  “The usual?”

Josephine nodded.  I had the feeling this was a routine, and ‘the usual’ was a code.  Dump and run.

“If you have somewhere else to be, I’ll understand,” I said.  I’d rather be disappointed now than
prolong the agony.

She looked surprised.  “Why would you say that?”

“I’m very good at reading between the lines.”

“You don’t do this very often.”

“My sister decided I should put myself out there.  She wrote my biography.  I didn’t agree with it, but I didn’t change it.”

“How many?”

“You’re the fifth.  Three didn’t match the bio with the vision, and the fourth didn’t come.  You could have just kept going.”

“I could.  It was a thought.  But then I would not have got to talk to you.  The usual greeting I get is, babe, or some other loose endearment.  That’s about my limit, and then I leave.

“Well, I’m not in a hurry. I will definitely never call you babe; you can pick the subject, and we can talk.  Over coffee.  Betty is expecting me to have cake.”

“The apple pie is nice.”

“You come here often?”

“This is the fifth time for me too.  It’s the longest I’ve stayed.”

In between the small talk, I took a more guarded but studious look at someone who was not what one first thought of her.  Perhaps we see what we want to see, until we take a step back and see what there really is in front of us.

Betty came back with her coffee and two pieces of apple pie.

I looked at her.

“You’re an apple pie guy.  I can tell an apple pie guy when I see one.  We do a great thanksgiving Turkey dinner if you’re hungry.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

She smiled, perhaps a bright moment in an otherwise drudge day at the coalface.

“I guess we’d better get the awful stuff out of the way.  What would you like to know?” 

It sounded practical in a doomsday sort of manner.

I thought for a second, perhaps two, about which version of me I’d tell her about.  “I want to say I’m that fun-loving guy my sister thinks I am, but the awful thing called responsibility got in the way.  My friends, or perhaps more appropriately acquaintances, spend their evenings on drinks with the office types, boozy weekends camping or something outdoors, and get into local sports.

“They invite me to parties and find blind dates, but I can’t quite see the point of practical jokes, rough-and-tumble sport, or getting drunk.  My job is boring, but practical; I have a university degree that is and isn’t useful, I like reading, and visiting old parts of Europe.”

“You drink?”

“Beer, wine that’s better than the usual swill my so-called friends indulge in, and the fine dining that goes with it.  On occasion.  A night or two in a posh hotel sometimes makes a difference.”

“By yourself?”

“Mostly.  Sometimes I think I’ve found someone who might appreciate the same, but I’m not sure if I set too high a standard.”

“Then not a guy who expects sex on the first date?”

“Is that what you expect of me?”

“Three out of four so far.”

“Then I apologise for my brethren.  I assure you that is not on my list.  I’d like to get to know a woman a lot better before that becomes an issue.  Anything you’d like to tell me?”

“What were you expecting?”

“That’s a question, not an answer.”

“I can be annoying.”

“I can see that.  More?”

She nodded.

“You look like a morning run type.  Wearing your gym gear here tells me you are possibly pretentious, or you just worked out, though having pie, you might be going after this.”

“Pretentious, eh.  I haven’t been called that for a while.  Perhaps after, to take my frustrations out on a punching bag.  I like classical music, while luxuriating in a spa, drinking champagne.  Not rich enough to stay in posh hotels, and love Italian.  Can speak a few words too.”

I suspect more than a few.  She had some Italian heritage, perhaps a grandmother who came as an immigrant.

“You work in a museum?”

She reminded me of a girl I knew in University who was studying classical art.  It might also have something to do with a lanyard I saw her pushing into her bag as she sat down.

“Something like that.”

OK.  We’ll hang onto that thought and circle back.

I could see momentary indecision in her eyes, the sort that comes with making a choice: to stay or go.  Was it worth investing another five minutes?

“I don’t know how to assess you; you make it very hard to decide whether you are what I think you are, or you’re very good at playing a role.”

“Perhaps it’s simply a fault in my programming.  I told the alien masters that sent me to spy on earthlings not to make me stand out. Obviously they didn’t read the memo.”

She laughed, hopefully because she knew I was joking.

“That’s it, of course.”

If anything was going to send her packing, that would be it.

And then when you least expected it, something comes out of left field.  “You like dancing?  The real stuff, ballroom.”

“Arthur Murray’s twenty-one lessons to become a professional?”

“Twenty-one?  Not the whole of a misspent youth?”

“Had to save room for riding a horse so I could play polo.”

“Polo?”

“I only mastered the horse part.  And then just so I wouldn’t fall off.”

“Oh, I think you master everything you put your mind to.  I was going to give this five minutes.  You have surprised me.  I have an early morning tomorrow, but now I know where to find you; we must go dancing.  For now, you can walk me to the subway.”

…

It was almost a week before I heard from her again.  I had expected to hear from her after a few days; I had been suitably sent to ex right swipe land because her profile disappeared.

She had found a dance club, if it could be called that, where we could practise the dark arts.  Or the tango, whichever made sense at the time.

I was happy to agree, if not for the dancing but just to meet her again.  She had piqued my interest, but I was under no illusion that I was her perfect match.

I met her outside the building, those few minutes over, cool as a cucumber, and in elegant but free-flowing clothes that changed her whole demeanour.

I wondered if she realised just how intimate ballroom dancing was.  For me, it would be worrisome to be so close, and to be reliant upon someone I didn’t know.

Something else I was aware of, she was totally unaware of the effect she could have on people.  She had this ability to sweep people up into her aura.

Inside, she introduced me to Madamselle Dubois, the proprietor and head of the dance academy.  I had read about her umpteen times, world champion back in an era when dancing mattered.

She obviously knew Josephine could dance; she asked for a dance with me, and I did my best impression of a professional, having left one on my two left feet at home.

Adequate was the grade she gave me.

No time to argue; it was straight into the waltz.  Once I got over the closeness thing and because there were no varying height issues, it was easy to settle into a routine.

It was fun.

It was exhausting.

And strangely, it built trust.  It was as if she had discovered a way that separated the fools from the genuine contenders.  Not that I would say I was one yet.

But there were moments when I felt almost too comfortable, and had to realise this was not about me; it was about her, and I was not going to take advantage of an innocent situation.

We called this a second date. We both agreed, in the middle of attempting a tango, that nothing was going to happen.  Just to be with her was enough.  That part whereby you start ending each other’s sentences was a long way off.

Or so I thought.

…

We had a third date under the watchful eye of Betty the waitress.  Same time, same table, same coffee.

And, “So, how did the first date go?”

I smiled.  There had to be a few in the cafe, and she would recognise the signs.  Anxious, sweaty palms, indecisiveness.  All of the above.

“We danced.  The Waltz, and then the Tango.”

“Then it’s a case of when is the wedding and where is my invite?”

“It’s just a third date, nothing special.”

Betty’s expression told me she thought otherwise.

Josephine arrived early, and this time wearing business clothes.  They looked more expensive than mine.  I made a mental note that I would have to up my game if this was to continue.

“You’re looking very authoritative.”

“Executive camouflage, Francis.  It’s how I can hide in plain sight.”

Betty became over, saw her, and rolled her eyes.  Then, “The usual.”

Josephine nodded.

“Now.  I had been thinking.  You like posh hotels, and I like travelling on planes; perhaps we can combine the two.  I have a friend who works for an airline, so travelling in style.  You can pick the hotel.”

It was a step forward, together, in another city, in a hotel.  If I was reading the signals correctly, which for me would be a first.

“Anywhere in particular.”

“New York.  I want to go to the top of the Empire State Building, walk in Central Park, and have a pretzel and a hot dog, you know, from the street vendors.”

“Moma?”

“Of course.”

“Do I assume we get a suite or…”

She gave me a rather unfathomable expression, one that made me feel like I’d failed the test.  If it was a test.

“I think we might take that step, and see what happens.  I mean, it’s not something I’ve done before, because usually relationships don’t last that long.  The idea of it is quite salacious, don’t you think?”

The idea had far too many strings attached, and one of them could strangle me.

“I know just the place.  Not sure about the degree of salaciousness, but it has an in-house doctor in case I have a heart attack.”

She smiled, and there was a little wickedness in it.  I didn’t think that was her nature, but more that she was testing the waters.  Date four was not a suggestion that we move to a more interesting level, as much as it was a test, and getting a response.

What would be an appropriate response?

“I’ll send you the date.”

…

We flew business class, or what I perceived to be business.  Wider seats, better service, front of the plane, first off.  Josephine looked like she travelled only one class, dressed accordingly and fitted in.

I wore a suit, only because I was advised to, because some airlines looked down on the chinos and polo shirt with loafers type.  I was glad I did.

At JFK, I had ordered a limousine to take us to the Midtown Hilton on Sixth Avenue, so we had both the MoMA and Central Park within walking distance.

She was impressed by the limousine, which I had requested the driver take the scenic route, if there was one, then arriving at the hotel in style to be greeted by a special check-in clerk and escorted to our room, one of the Presidential King Suites.  I was a Platinum member with certain privileges

I wanted to make it special.

She was impressed, but not overly so, and I did wonder briefly if she was a rebellious billionaire’s daughter who’d seen it all and then some.

That it had a separate bedroom seemed excessive, but I thought, for two days, it would give her space if she wanted or needed it.  There was only one bed, but it was huge. 

I was still unsure of how the sleeping arrangements would work.  I had no expectation we would be doing anything other than sleeping, and I certainly would not be hinting or suggesting otherwise.

She sat on the end of the bed as I came out of the bathroom.  “Which side?”

“Either is OK.  You?”

“Right.  I sleep better lying on my left side.”

There was a knock on the door, and I went over.  Room service with champagne and canapés.  I had them once before on a previous stay.

“Now you are trying to impress me.”

The waitress popped the cork and poured the first two glasses, then quietly left us alone.

“I’m just doing what I would normally do when I go away for a weekend.  Dinner is at Quality Italian.  It’s not far from here.”

“You are spoiling me.”

“I just want you to be as happy as I feel.”

“Being here with me?”

“Especially being here with you.  It’s always better sharing an experience with someone else.”

She finished her first glass and poured herself another.  Did she need it for courage?  I didn’t think she was secretly an alcoholic, but perhaps a little nervous.  It was an odd sensation with someone I thought was bold and confident, more so than me.

She took a sip and put down her glass, and came over to where I was standing by the windows.  The view was breathtaking.

She slipped her hand in mine.  “Thank you.”

I turned to look at her.  She seemed totally relaxed.

“You’re welcome.”

She smiled.  “It’s the fourth date.  Do we talk about family now?  Seems a good fit with champagne and canapés.”

Of course, families were always a touchy subject and often the cause of catastrophic breakups.  Better to sink the ship now than later.

“Why not.”

…

Some time after I’d prepared for our dining experience, and Josephine had taken over the bathroom and turned it into a Hollywood make-up centre, she put her head out the doorway and asked for an opinion.

It was a sudden death moment.  I was appallingly bad at giving opinions.  My sister had long since learned never to ask my opinion.

I stood in the door and took in the vision before me.  There were no words other than stunning.  That was when my heart missed a beat.

What was fascinating was that she was totally unaware of the impact she made, still fussing over details.  It was never going to be about her making an impact; it would be everyone else around her.  It was going to be interesting when we walked into the restaurant.

But that wasn’t all that happened to me.  In one of those unguarded moments when hands touched and eyes met, and breathing stopped, there was only one conclusion.

We kissed.  Briefly.  Like old friends who greeted each other perfunctorily, and then forgotten, as if it was just routine.

We walked to the restaurant and turned heads.  We arrived, and half the establishment stopped, just to see who she was, and it felt like I would have heard a pin drop.

We ate Italian food she selected.  We drank San Giovese reds, and Italian dessert, and she said she had died and gone to heaven.

The maitre’d sent us back to the hotel in a cab.  Perhaps one too many glasses of wine.

Now was the tricky part.  Was she impaired? Would I have to make a decision, and knowing me, it would be the wrong one?  Was she relying on me to be the perfect gentleman?

I got inside the door and leaned against it.  She was not drunk, but just happy.  She did a swirl in the middle of the room and stopped, looking at me.

“I don’t bite.”

I didn’t want to ruin the moment, but I knew no matter what I did, I was going to.  My sister said it was because I overthought everything, that I could not just pick the simplest outcome and execute it.

She held out both her hands.  I closed my eyes, made a decision and went to her, taking her hands in mine.

“I had a lovely evening, Francis,”  I noted she never called me Frank.  “Everything was perfect.  Now, all you have to do is stop thinking.  I don’t want perfection.  I want someone who cares, and you do.  I can feel it.  I’m trying very hard not to fall in love with you, and it’s not working.”  A tear crept out from her left eye and slowly trickled downwards.

“You had me the moment we danced the waltz.  I’ve been trying so hard from that moment not to wreck it.”

“You won’t.  You can’t.  Just be you.  No one else.  You don’t have to be who you think I want you to be.  That’s been my problem for a long time, looking for something that doesn’t exist.”

I think we were all like that.  Until we saw the light, or didn’t. “Then what do we do now?”

“We close our eyes and make a wish.”

…

©  Charles Heath  2026