Day 275

Poetry, again

…

The Necessary Madness: Why Poetry Demands a Certain Unsoundness of Mind

There are few pronouncements in literature as instantly arresting and delightfully unsettling as the suggestion that to truly engage with poetry—to write it, or even to enjoy it—requires “a certain unsoundness of mind.”

This quote, often attributed to the Romantic critic and essayist William Hazlitt (though sometimes debated), doesn’t just demand our attention; it challenges the very foundation of how we define sanity, rationality, and the purpose of art.

If the quote holds any truth, it suggests that the purest forms of human expression are found not in the center of logic, but on the fringes of accepted thought.

The Tyranny of the ‘Sound’ Mind

Before we celebrate this poetic madness, we must first define what the “sound mind” represents.

The ‘sound mind’ is the mind built for survival and efficiency. It is pragmatic, literal, and relentlessly focused on the material world. It asks: How does this benefit me? Is this efficient? What is the demonstrable return on investment? A sound mind appreciates a spreadsheet more than a sonnet.

Poetry, by its nature, is profoundly unsound. It is impractical. It sacrifices plain meaning for music, clarity for color, and the material for the transcendent. In the purely economic or rational sense, poetry is useless.

The poet, therefore, must reject the tyranny of the purely rational. They must be willing to stare at a blade of grass not as an element of photosynthesis, but as a small, green miracle demanding an ode. This ability to divert focus from the practical necessities of life to the consuming fire of feeling—this is the first hint of “unsoundness.”

The Poet as the Maximalist of Feeling

When we talk about the “unsoundness” necessary for poetry, we are generally not talking about pathology, but rather maximal sensitivity.

The poet is often someone who feels the world too intensely. They do not merely observe tragedy; they absorb it. They do not just see beauty; they are momentarily blinded by it. This heightened level of empathy and emotional responsiveness is exhausting, destabilizing, and deeply incompatible with the smooth running of mundane life.

To be a poet is to stand permanently outside the insulating wall of detachment that most people build to cope with existence. You must be vulnerable to the overwhelming sensory and emotional data the world constantly provides.

In this context, poetry becomes a necessary defense mechanism. It is the obsessive, painstaking labor of translating this overwhelming internal cacophony into structured sound. The rhyme, the meter, the perfect metaphor—these elements are not arbitrary decorations; they are the cage the poet builds to house their wild, excessive feelings.

Unsoundness is the Engine of Metaphor

Perhaps the greatest sign of poetic “unsoundness” is the absolute reliance on metaphor.

The logical mind deals strictly with A = A. The poetic mind insists that A = B, even when A and B share no literal qualities. It sees a lover’s eyes and calls them stars; it sees a city and calls it a sleeping animal.

This non-linear connection—this immediate leap across the chasm of logic—is the signature mental deviation required for the art form. The poet must briefly abandon empirical reality to create a new reality, one governed by emotional resonance rather than physics.

To create the brilliant, jarring imagery that defines great verse, the poet must be willing to let their mind wander into territory that the logical world deems nonsensical. They must embrace the illogical truth.

The Reader’s Necessary Leap

The quote states that even enjoying poetry demands this mental deviation. This is perhaps the more insidious and intriguing part of the claim.

If the poet is the architect of illogical truth, the reader must be willing to temporarily relocate their own mind to that space.

To truly enjoy a poem, you cannot read it primarily for information. You must allow yourself to be led away from the concrete ground you stand upon. The appreciation of poetry requires the reader to:

1. Suspend Literal Meaning: To understand why the moon might weep or the wind might whisper secrets, we must momentarily sideline our rational understanding of astronomy and meteorology.
2. Embrace Emotional Logic: We must prioritize the feeling the poem evokes over the fact it describes.
3. Accept the Unexplained: We must allow the poem to exist outside the need for easy answers, recognizing that the beauty lies in the ambiguity.

In the brief time we spend with a stanza, we are happily infected by the poet’s particular brand of “madness.” We choose to be unsound, and in that fleeting moment of voluntary irrationality, we find profound emotional clarity.

A Celebration of Necessary Deviance

The history of poetry—from the romantic excess of Lord Byron to the stark, fragmented vision of Sylvia Plath—is littered with geniuses who struggled to align their profound internal lives with the demands of the pragmatic world.

The quote, therefore, is not an insult or a diagnosis. It is a profound observation about the nature of creativity. The “unsoundness of mind” is simply the maximal awareness of the human condition—the courage to feel disproportionately and to articulate those feelings without filtering them through the gauze of acceptable, practical thought.

If sanity is defined by the refusal to look beyond the mundane, then thank heaven for the glorious, necessary unsoundness that gives us the words to describe the sublime.

---

What Do You Think?

Do you agree that a departure from strict logic is necessary to appreciate poetry? Who is your favorite poet whose work seems to thrive on this “unsoundness” of mind? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Day 275

Poetry, again

…

The Necessary Madness: Why Poetry Demands a Certain Unsoundness of Mind

There are few pronouncements in literature as instantly arresting and delightfully unsettling as the suggestion that to truly engage with poetry—to write it, or even to enjoy it—requires “a certain unsoundness of mind.”

This quote, often attributed to the Romantic critic and essayist William Hazlitt (though sometimes debated), doesn’t just demand our attention; it challenges the very foundation of how we define sanity, rationality, and the purpose of art.

If the quote holds any truth, it suggests that the purest forms of human expression are found not in the center of logic, but on the fringes of accepted thought.

The Tyranny of the ‘Sound’ Mind

Before we celebrate this poetic madness, we must first define what the “sound mind” represents.

The ‘sound mind’ is the mind built for survival and efficiency. It is pragmatic, literal, and relentlessly focused on the material world. It asks: How does this benefit me? Is this efficient? What is the demonstrable return on investment? A sound mind appreciates a spreadsheet more than a sonnet.

Poetry, by its nature, is profoundly unsound. It is impractical. It sacrifices plain meaning for music, clarity for color, and the material for the transcendent. In the purely economic or rational sense, poetry is useless.

The poet, therefore, must reject the tyranny of the purely rational. They must be willing to stare at a blade of grass not as an element of photosynthesis, but as a small, green miracle demanding an ode. This ability to divert focus from the practical necessities of life to the consuming fire of feeling—this is the first hint of “unsoundness.”

The Poet as the Maximalist of Feeling

When we talk about the “unsoundness” necessary for poetry, we are generally not talking about pathology, but rather maximal sensitivity.

The poet is often someone who feels the world too intensely. They do not merely observe tragedy; they absorb it. They do not just see beauty; they are momentarily blinded by it. This heightened level of empathy and emotional responsiveness is exhausting, destabilizing, and deeply incompatible with the smooth running of mundane life.

To be a poet is to stand permanently outside the insulating wall of detachment that most people build to cope with existence. You must be vulnerable to the overwhelming sensory and emotional data the world constantly provides.

In this context, poetry becomes a necessary defense mechanism. It is the obsessive, painstaking labor of translating this overwhelming internal cacophony into structured sound. The rhyme, the meter, the perfect metaphor—these elements are not arbitrary decorations; they are the cage the poet builds to house their wild, excessive feelings.

Unsoundness is the Engine of Metaphor

Perhaps the greatest sign of poetic “unsoundness” is the absolute reliance on metaphor.

The logical mind deals strictly with A = A. The poetic mind insists that A = B, even when A and B share no literal qualities. It sees a lover’s eyes and calls them stars; it sees a city and calls it a sleeping animal.

This non-linear connection—this immediate leap across the chasm of logic—is the signature mental deviation required for the art form. The poet must briefly abandon empirical reality to create a new reality, one governed by emotional resonance rather than physics.

To create the brilliant, jarring imagery that defines great verse, the poet must be willing to let their mind wander into territory that the logical world deems nonsensical. They must embrace the illogical truth.

The Reader’s Necessary Leap

The quote states that even enjoying poetry demands this mental deviation. This is perhaps the more insidious and intriguing part of the claim.

If the poet is the architect of illogical truth, the reader must be willing to temporarily relocate their own mind to that space.

To truly enjoy a poem, you cannot read it primarily for information. You must allow yourself to be led away from the concrete ground you stand upon. The appreciation of poetry requires the reader to:

1. Suspend Literal Meaning: To understand why the moon might weep or the wind might whisper secrets, we must momentarily sideline our rational understanding of astronomy and meteorology.
2. Embrace Emotional Logic: We must prioritize the feeling the poem evokes over the fact it describes.
3. Accept the Unexplained: We must allow the poem to exist outside the need for easy answers, recognizing that the beauty lies in the ambiguity.

In the brief time we spend with a stanza, we are happily infected by the poet’s particular brand of “madness.” We choose to be unsound, and in that fleeting moment of voluntary irrationality, we find profound emotional clarity.

A Celebration of Necessary Deviance

The history of poetry—from the romantic excess of Lord Byron to the stark, fragmented vision of Sylvia Plath—is littered with geniuses who struggled to align their profound internal lives with the demands of the pragmatic world.

The quote, therefore, is not an insult or a diagnosis. It is a profound observation about the nature of creativity. The “unsoundness of mind” is simply the maximal awareness of the human condition—the courage to feel disproportionately and to articulate those feelings without filtering them through the gauze of acceptable, practical thought.

If sanity is defined by the refusal to look beyond the mundane, then thank heaven for the glorious, necessary unsoundness that gives us the words to describe the sublime.

---

What Do You Think?

Do you agree that a departure from strict logic is necessary to appreciate poetry? Who is your favorite poet whose work seems to thrive on this “unsoundness” of mind? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Day 274

The day the story found me

…

The Day the Story Found Me: From Struggle to Sudden Spark

Every writer knows it. That dull ache in the chest, the persistent whisper of doubt, the relentless battle with the blank page. For the struggling writer, it’s a daily grind, a Sisyphean task where the boulder of ambition is constantly rolling back down the hill of reality. Rejection letters pile up, the coffee runs cold, and the endless pursuit of the perfect word feels less like a passion and more like a cruel cosmic joke.

You’ve tried everything. Outlines, free writing, prompts, word sprints. You’ve haunted libraries, notebooks clutched tight, hoping for osmosis to spark some brilliance. You’ve watched other writers soar, their words effortless, their stories finding homes, while yours remain orphans, lingering in the digital ether or gathering dust in a forgotten drawer. The financial strain is real, the sacrifices profound, and the question echoes louder each day: Am I even good enough? Is this all just a delusion?

You’re tired. Bone-deep, soul-weary tired.

And then, it happens.

It rarely comes when you’re looking for it, certainly not when you’re diligently sitting at your desk, forcing words onto the page. No, it’s often in the liminal spaces: while staring out a rain-streaked window on a bus, stirring sugar into cheap coffee at a diner, or perhaps in the hazy, half-awake moments just before dawn.

A vision.

It might be a place you’ve never seen, yet feel instantly familiar – a cobblestone street under a sky of bruised purple, a forgotten lighthouse crumbling into the sea, a bustling market stall overflowing with exotic spices. Or perhaps it’s a scene: a hushed conversation in the shadows, a desperate chase through a moonlit forest, a quiet moment of profound grief or unexpected joy that punches you in the gut with its raw emotion.

Sometimes, it’s a person. A face in a crowd that catches your eye, not because they’re strikingly beautiful, but because their expression holds a story – a flicker of sadness, a mischievous glint, a world-weary sigh. Or a voice, a fragment of dialogue overheard, that resonates with a truth so deep, it feels like it was meant for you alone.

It’s not just an idea; it’s an insistence. It’s a spark that hits the kindling of your tired soul, and suddenly, everything snaps into focus. It’s vivid, overwhelming, and utterly, undeniably real. It demands attention, a story clamoring to be told through your fingers, your voice. It vibrates with life, a fully formed universe begging to be unleashed.

And, suddenly…

The quiet hum of doubt is drowned out by a roar of possibility. The blank page, once a terrifying void, transforms into an eager canvas. Your fingers, which moments ago felt heavy and useless, now fly across the keyboard, barely keeping pace with the torrent of words pouring from your mind. The characters, the settings, the plot twists – they aren’t being invented; they’re being uncovered, as if they’ve always existed, just waiting for you to find them.

The weariness vanishes, replaced by an electrifying surge of energy. Hours bleed into minutes, the outside world fading into a blurry background. The coffee grows cold again, but this time, you don’t notice. You are a conduit, a vessel, connected to something vast and ancient and utterly magical. The story isn’t a task; it’s a fever, a joyous obsession. You are no longer struggling; you are creating. You are finally the writer you always knew you could be, because the story, in all its raw, vibrant glory, has finally found you.

This is the writer’s miracle. The moment when persistence meets pure, unadulterated inspiration. It’s a testament to showing up, even when it feels pointless. Because sometimes, all it takes is one single, unforgettable vision to remind you why you started, and to finally set your wildest tales free.

Have you ever experienced a moment like this? Share your stories of sudden inspiration in the comments below!

Day 274

The day the story found me

…

The Day the Story Found Me: From Struggle to Sudden Spark

Every writer knows it. That dull ache in the chest, the persistent whisper of doubt, the relentless battle with the blank page. For the struggling writer, it’s a daily grind, a Sisyphean task where the boulder of ambition is constantly rolling back down the hill of reality. Rejection letters pile up, the coffee runs cold, and the endless pursuit of the perfect word feels less like a passion and more like a cruel cosmic joke.

You’ve tried everything. Outlines, free writing, prompts, word sprints. You’ve haunted libraries, notebooks clutched tight, hoping for osmosis to spark some brilliance. You’ve watched other writers soar, their words effortless, their stories finding homes, while yours remain orphans, lingering in the digital ether or gathering dust in a forgotten drawer. The financial strain is real, the sacrifices profound, and the question echoes louder each day: Am I even good enough? Is this all just a delusion?

You’re tired. Bone-deep, soul-weary tired.

And then, it happens.

It rarely comes when you’re looking for it, certainly not when you’re diligently sitting at your desk, forcing words onto the page. No, it’s often in the liminal spaces: while staring out a rain-streaked window on a bus, stirring sugar into cheap coffee at a diner, or perhaps in the hazy, half-awake moments just before dawn.

A vision.

It might be a place you’ve never seen, yet feel instantly familiar – a cobblestone street under a sky of bruised purple, a forgotten lighthouse crumbling into the sea, a bustling market stall overflowing with exotic spices. Or perhaps it’s a scene: a hushed conversation in the shadows, a desperate chase through a moonlit forest, a quiet moment of profound grief or unexpected joy that punches you in the gut with its raw emotion.

Sometimes, it’s a person. A face in a crowd that catches your eye, not because they’re strikingly beautiful, but because their expression holds a story – a flicker of sadness, a mischievous glint, a world-weary sigh. Or a voice, a fragment of dialogue overheard, that resonates with a truth so deep, it feels like it was meant for you alone.

It’s not just an idea; it’s an insistence. It’s a spark that hits the kindling of your tired soul, and suddenly, everything snaps into focus. It’s vivid, overwhelming, and utterly, undeniably real. It demands attention, a story clamoring to be told through your fingers, your voice. It vibrates with life, a fully formed universe begging to be unleashed.

And, suddenly…

The quiet hum of doubt is drowned out by a roar of possibility. The blank page, once a terrifying void, transforms into an eager canvas. Your fingers, which moments ago felt heavy and useless, now fly across the keyboard, barely keeping pace with the torrent of words pouring from your mind. The characters, the settings, the plot twists – they aren’t being invented; they’re being uncovered, as if they’ve always existed, just waiting for you to find them.

The weariness vanishes, replaced by an electrifying surge of energy. Hours bleed into minutes, the outside world fading into a blurry background. The coffee grows cold again, but this time, you don’t notice. You are a conduit, a vessel, connected to something vast and ancient and utterly magical. The story isn’t a task; it’s a fever, a joyous obsession. You are no longer struggling; you are creating. You are finally the writer you always knew you could be, because the story, in all its raw, vibrant glory, has finally found you.

This is the writer’s miracle. The moment when persistence meets pure, unadulterated inspiration. It’s a testament to showing up, even when it feels pointless. Because sometimes, all it takes is one single, unforgettable vision to remind you why you started, and to finally set your wildest tales free.

Have you ever experienced a moment like this? Share your stories of sudden inspiration in the comments below!

Day 273

Writing Exercise

…

Wind back 22 years, 145 days, 15 hours, 17 minutes, and let’s not get down to seconds, but that was how long it had stuck in my mind, not for one minute letting it go.

When Angelique Bouvier dropped a note into the mailbox at home, telling me it was over. She did not say goodbye, she did not tell me she was leaving town, she just left me hanging.

She not only shocked me, but also just about everyone in our little town. We had known each other since we were five, went to grade school, middle school, and high school together, at at the end, we were going to the Prom, and then to college.

Or so I thought.

I arrived at her house in the hired limousine, willing to go the whole nine yards, as expected, only to find a completely empty house. No furniture, no people, nothing. Gone.

I was devastated. A lot of people were.

Wind on 22 years and 140 days, my life had just taken another turn, where I had just come home from the funeral of the woman I eventually married, once I could get past the grief. Annabel was, perhaps, more my counterpart because I knew I had been punching above my weight with Angelique. I did not have the sophistication, the languages, the grace or the knowledge she had, and more than once I felt her frustration at my provincial background.

But I thought she liked the idea of not being with someone as competitive, someone who could keep her grounded. I was wrong. Annabel convinced me of that, but not in a way that disparaged her rival, but that was Annabel. Friends with everyone, even her enemies. It was a testament that the whole town turned out at her funeral.

David and Jennifer were home, coming back from where they had started their adult lives, married and yet to start their own families. It was different now; they wanted to establish their careers first, then settle down. They would be around for the rest of the week and then gone.

It had been bearable with Annabel pottering about, but now she was gone, I was not looking forward to being alone in a great big house full of memories.

…

I took the children to the airport and saw them off. They promised to return soon, but promises I knew were easily broken. Work and life got in the way, and somehow time just passes, and the past slips into the ether. People come and people go, especially in small towns like ours, with little to keep them there.

Only three of those we went to school with remained, and only because they were the last generation of those who owned businesses, which one by one closed through lack of customers. People now went to the city just up the interstate, to malls that had everything cheaper.

I stopped in at the diner on the way back, one of the few places still thriving, for coffee and pie. Wilma, a fellow student and long-time resident, made the pies herself and still ran the diner with her children. Ray, her husband, had succumbed to cancer a few years back.

I sat on a stool, and she delivered a cup of coffee. “Pie?”

I nodded. When she returned, she put it in front of me, adding a dollop of cream.

“Kids on the way home?”

“Just dropped them off.”

“Back for Christmas?”

“They said so, but you know what it’s like. Big cities suck you into their vortex.”

She smiled. “You could always pay them a surprise visit.”

I could. Annabel was never in favour of surprising people, so we had not gone, not without asking first, and discovering they had always made other arrangements. She never let the disappointment show, but I knew it hurt her.

“Maybe, maybe not.”

She went away to tend another customer, then wandered back. She had been a good friend over the years, especially for Annabel during the worst time, after the diagnosis.

“See, your ex is splashed all over the internet.”

I never looked at the internet. That was Annabel’s thing. And Wilma always referred to Angelique as my ex. I guess she was, in a way.

“Annabel never mentioned it.”

“This is in the last few days.”

“Should I be interested?” I wasn’t, but I was just being polite.

“Maybe. She just got out of jail.”

…

I lie. I was always interested in the woman who could have destroyed my life. Where she went, who she met, what she did. And where she finished up.

Her life in a paragraph: she met the wrong man, willingly or otherwise, helping him to destroy a lot of lives, then he disappeared, and she was caught, and was paying for his crimes. He had set her up to take the fall, and take the fall she did. 20 years, 15 with parole. They let her out, and the woman I saw in the photos was nothing like the woman I once knew.

I didn’t feel sorry for her. Perhaps I should, but I didn’t.

A week later, I answered a knock on the door. I wasn’t going to because i knew who it would be.

“Hello, Eddie.”

That same voice, the one that sent shivers down my spine. Aged 40 years instead of the 20-odd that had passed. Prison could do that.

“Angel.”

I stayed behind the wire door, more than just a barrier between us.

“I came in person to apologise. It’s meaningless after all this time, but it was top of my list the moment I got out. I know you know where I’ve been, so I won’t insult your intelligence by lying.”

I wanted to ask the question, made up my mind if she turned up on my doorstep that I would ask her, and, now that she was here, that seemed irrelevant.

Instead, it slipped out. “Why?”

“We were hiding out in this place. My father and mother were criminals, and the day of the Prom, their past caught up with them. I was just collateral damage.”

“You didn’t have to follow in their footsteps.” OK, breaking all my promises to Annabel.

“It’s a story you would never believe, and again, not insulting your intelligence. Shit happened. Sometimes you’re so deep in the quicksand, there’s no getting out. I heard about Annabel, and I’m very sorry for your loss. I was happy when I heard you two got together. She was your perfect match, Ed, not me. Had we got together, you would have been collateral damage too.” She smiled wanly. “Job done. You won’t see me again.”

She turned away and started walking down the steps.

“I never got over what you did to me. I want to forgive you, but I just can’t.”

She stopped, turned around, and I could see the tears.

“I am truly sorry, Ed. I’ve had 22 years, 145 days, 15 hours, and,” She looked at her watch, “22 minutes to regret everything. I will never forgive myself. I could have told you what was going to happen, but I didn’t. I could have asked you to hide me away, but I didn’t. I knew what was going to happen and I did nothing about it.”

One decision can change your life. Completely.

“Where will you go?”

“Probably hell. I don’t deserve anything less.”

I shook my head. Annabel would be annoyed with me, not because of what I was thinking of doing, but because I had behaved the way I had.

I opened the door. “You can stay here until you figure it out. It’s hell of a different kind, so you’ll feel right at home.”

…

©  Charles Heath  2025

Day 273

Writing Exercise

…

Wind back 22 years, 145 days, 15 hours, 17 minutes, and let’s not get down to seconds, but that was how long it had stuck in my mind, not for one minute letting it go.

When Angelique Bouvier dropped a note into the mailbox at home, telling me it was over. She did not say goodbye, she did not tell me she was leaving town, she just left me hanging.

She not only shocked me, but also just about everyone in our little town. We had known each other since we were five, went to grade school, middle school, and high school together, at at the end, we were going to the Prom, and then to college.

Or so I thought.

I arrived at her house in the hired limousine, willing to go the whole nine yards, as expected, only to find a completely empty house. No furniture, no people, nothing. Gone.

I was devastated. A lot of people were.

Wind on 22 years and 140 days, my life had just taken another turn, where I had just come home from the funeral of the woman I eventually married, once I could get past the grief. Annabel was, perhaps, more my counterpart because I knew I had been punching above my weight with Angelique. I did not have the sophistication, the languages, the grace or the knowledge she had, and more than once I felt her frustration at my provincial background.

But I thought she liked the idea of not being with someone as competitive, someone who could keep her grounded. I was wrong. Annabel convinced me of that, but not in a way that disparaged her rival, but that was Annabel. Friends with everyone, even her enemies. It was a testament that the whole town turned out at her funeral.

David and Jennifer were home, coming back from where they had started their adult lives, married and yet to start their own families. It was different now; they wanted to establish their careers first, then settle down. They would be around for the rest of the week and then gone.

It had been bearable with Annabel pottering about, but now she was gone, I was not looking forward to being alone in a great big house full of memories.

…

I took the children to the airport and saw them off. They promised to return soon, but promises I knew were easily broken. Work and life got in the way, and somehow time just passes, and the past slips into the ether. People come and people go, especially in small towns like ours, with little to keep them there.

Only three of those we went to school with remained, and only because they were the last generation of those who owned businesses, which one by one closed through lack of customers. People now went to the city just up the interstate, to malls that had everything cheaper.

I stopped in at the diner on the way back, one of the few places still thriving, for coffee and pie. Wilma, a fellow student and long-time resident, made the pies herself and still ran the diner with her children. Ray, her husband, had succumbed to cancer a few years back.

I sat on a stool, and she delivered a cup of coffee. “Pie?”

I nodded. When she returned, she put it in front of me, adding a dollop of cream.

“Kids on the way home?”

“Just dropped them off.”

“Back for Christmas?”

“They said so, but you know what it’s like. Big cities suck you into their vortex.”

She smiled. “You could always pay them a surprise visit.”

I could. Annabel was never in favour of surprising people, so we had not gone, not without asking first, and discovering they had always made other arrangements. She never let the disappointment show, but I knew it hurt her.

“Maybe, maybe not.”

She went away to tend another customer, then wandered back. She had been a good friend over the years, especially for Annabel during the worst time, after the diagnosis.

“See, your ex is splashed all over the internet.”

I never looked at the internet. That was Annabel’s thing. And Wilma always referred to Angelique as my ex. I guess she was, in a way.

“Annabel never mentioned it.”

“This is in the last few days.”

“Should I be interested?” I wasn’t, but I was just being polite.

“Maybe. She just got out of jail.”

…

I lie. I was always interested in the woman who could have destroyed my life. Where she went, who she met, what she did. And where she finished up.

Her life in a paragraph: she met the wrong man, willingly or otherwise, helping him to destroy a lot of lives, then he disappeared, and she was caught, and was paying for his crimes. He had set her up to take the fall, and take the fall she did. 20 years, 15 with parole. They let her out, and the woman I saw in the photos was nothing like the woman I once knew.

I didn’t feel sorry for her. Perhaps I should, but I didn’t.

A week later, I answered a knock on the door. I wasn’t going to because i knew who it would be.

“Hello, Eddie.”

That same voice, the one that sent shivers down my spine. Aged 40 years instead of the 20-odd that had passed. Prison could do that.

“Angel.”

I stayed behind the wire door, more than just a barrier between us.

“I came in person to apologise. It’s meaningless after all this time, but it was top of my list the moment I got out. I know you know where I’ve been, so I won’t insult your intelligence by lying.”

I wanted to ask the question, made up my mind if she turned up on my doorstep that I would ask her, and, now that she was here, that seemed irrelevant.

Instead, it slipped out. “Why?”

“We were hiding out in this place. My father and mother were criminals, and the day of the Prom, their past caught up with them. I was just collateral damage.”

“You didn’t have to follow in their footsteps.” OK, breaking all my promises to Annabel.

“It’s a story you would never believe, and again, not insulting your intelligence. Shit happened. Sometimes you’re so deep in the quicksand, there’s no getting out. I heard about Annabel, and I’m very sorry for your loss. I was happy when I heard you two got together. She was your perfect match, Ed, not me. Had we got together, you would have been collateral damage too.” She smiled wanly. “Job done. You won’t see me again.”

She turned away and started walking down the steps.

“I never got over what you did to me. I want to forgive you, but I just can’t.”

She stopped, turned around, and I could see the tears.

“I am truly sorry, Ed. I’ve had 22 years, 145 days, 15 hours, and,” She looked at her watch, “22 minutes to regret everything. I will never forgive myself. I could have told you what was going to happen, but I didn’t. I could have asked you to hide me away, but I didn’t. I knew what was going to happen and I did nothing about it.”

One decision can change your life. Completely.

“Where will you go?”

“Probably hell. I don’t deserve anything less.”

I shook my head. Annabel would be annoyed with me, not because of what I was thinking of doing, but because I had behaved the way I had.

I opened the door. “You can stay here until you figure it out. It’s hell of a different kind, so you’ll feel right at home.”

…

©  Charles Heath  2025

Day 272

Coffee, Crumbs, and Creativity: The Writer’s Fuel Dilemma

There’s a specific kind of alchemy that happens when you’re truly in the writing zone. Words flow, ideas connect, and the world outside the screen (or notebook) fades into a hazy, unimportant blur. It’s a magical, almost spiritual state where the story dictates the pace and you’re merely its conduit.

But let’s be honest, that magic often comes at a cost, doesn’t it?

The Sustenance Struggle

For many of us, the quest for sustained creative output inevitably clashes with the very human need for sustenance. The ubiquitous cup of coffee, the endless mug of tea – these become less a beverage and more a life support system. We sip, we type, we chase the next sentence, convinced that stopping for something as mundane as a meal will shatter the fragile spell.

The thought of breaking that momentum, of stepping away from a scene that’s finally unravelling just right, for a sandwich or a proper dinner, feels like artistic treason. We tell ourselves we don’t have time. We can’t interrupt the process. The words are right there.

The Inevitable Crash

This fierce dedication, while admirable in its intensity, is a double-edged sword. Our brains, despite their boundless capacity for imagination, are still physical organs. They run on glucose, not just caffeine and sheer willpower. Our bodies, too, require fuel and rest.

So, what happens? We push through. We ignore the growling stomach, the flickering headache, the creeping brain fog. We power through on adrenaline and the rapidly diminishing returns of our stimulant of choice. Until, of course, the well dries up.

The words blur. The plot holes yawn. The characters suddenly feel flat. That vibrant spring of inspiration suddenly looks suspiciously like a dry puddle. We drop from exhaustion, or are forced to stop because the mental engine has finally sputtered out. The creative fire is banked, not because the ideas are gone, but because the vessel carrying them is depleted.

Refueling for the Long Haul

It’s in this forced pause that the deeper sustenance often arrives. Sleep isn’t just downtime; it’s vital processing time. It’s where your subconscious untangles plot knots, brews new ideas from disparate elements, and recharges the very batteries you’ve drained. Perhaps dreams, those wild, untamed narratives of our minds, become fertile ground for unexpected inspiration, offering a fresh perspective when you finally return to the page.

The lesson? Nurturing your body isn’t a distraction from your craft; it’s an integral part of it. Think of fueling yourself not as an interruption, but as an investment into longer, more productive, and ultimately more enjoyable writing sessions.

• Pre-emptive Power: Before you dive deep, have a proper meal or at least a substantial snack. Think protein and complex carbs to avoid that precipitous sugar crash.
• Hydrate Smarter: Water is your brain’s best friend. Keep a bottle within reach and sip regularly.
• Strategic Breaks: A five-minute stretch, a quick walk to the kitchen for that piece of fruit, genuinely stepping away for a meal – these aren’t breaks from writing, they’re part of a sustainable writing practice. They allow your subconscious to work, your eyes to rest, and your body to refuel.
• Listen to Your Body: Learn to recognize the early signs of fatigue and hunger. Don’t wait until you’re crashing to address them.

So, next time you feel that familiar pull into the writing vortex, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Is my body fueled? Is my mind sustained? Because the most brilliant stories are often born not just from passion, but from the well-being that allows that passion to truly flourish.

How do you navigate the delicate dance between creative flow and basic needs? Share your tips for staying nourished and inspired in the comments below!

…

Day 272

Coffee, Crumbs, and Creativity: The Writer’s Fuel Dilemma

There’s a specific kind of alchemy that happens when you’re truly in the writing zone. Words flow, ideas connect, and the world outside the screen (or notebook) fades into a hazy, unimportant blur. It’s a magical, almost spiritual state where the story dictates the pace and you’re merely its conduit.

But let’s be honest, that magic often comes at a cost, doesn’t it?

The Sustenance Struggle

For many of us, the quest for sustained creative output inevitably clashes with the very human need for sustenance. The ubiquitous cup of coffee, the endless mug of tea – these become less a beverage and more a life support system. We sip, we type, we chase the next sentence, convinced that stopping for something as mundane as a meal will shatter the fragile spell.

The thought of breaking that momentum, of stepping away from a scene that’s finally unravelling just right, for a sandwich or a proper dinner, feels like artistic treason. We tell ourselves we don’t have time. We can’t interrupt the process. The words are right there.

The Inevitable Crash

This fierce dedication, while admirable in its intensity, is a double-edged sword. Our brains, despite their boundless capacity for imagination, are still physical organs. They run on glucose, not just caffeine and sheer willpower. Our bodies, too, require fuel and rest.

So, what happens? We push through. We ignore the growling stomach, the flickering headache, the creeping brain fog. We power through on adrenaline and the rapidly diminishing returns of our stimulant of choice. Until, of course, the well dries up.

The words blur. The plot holes yawn. The characters suddenly feel flat. That vibrant spring of inspiration suddenly looks suspiciously like a dry puddle. We drop from exhaustion, or are forced to stop because the mental engine has finally sputtered out. The creative fire is banked, not because the ideas are gone, but because the vessel carrying them is depleted.

Refueling for the Long Haul

It’s in this forced pause that the deeper sustenance often arrives. Sleep isn’t just downtime; it’s vital processing time. It’s where your subconscious untangles plot knots, brews new ideas from disparate elements, and recharges the very batteries you’ve drained. Perhaps dreams, those wild, untamed narratives of our minds, become fertile ground for unexpected inspiration, offering a fresh perspective when you finally return to the page.

The lesson? Nurturing your body isn’t a distraction from your craft; it’s an integral part of it. Think of fueling yourself not as an interruption, but as an investment into longer, more productive, and ultimately more enjoyable writing sessions.

• Pre-emptive Power: Before you dive deep, have a proper meal or at least a substantial snack. Think protein and complex carbs to avoid that precipitous sugar crash.
• Hydrate Smarter: Water is your brain’s best friend. Keep a bottle within reach and sip regularly.
• Strategic Breaks: A five-minute stretch, a quick walk to the kitchen for that piece of fruit, genuinely stepping away for a meal – these aren’t breaks from writing, they’re part of a sustainable writing practice. They allow your subconscious to work, your eyes to rest, and your body to refuel.
• Listen to Your Body: Learn to recognize the early signs of fatigue and hunger. Don’t wait until you’re crashing to address them.

So, next time you feel that familiar pull into the writing vortex, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Is my body fueled? Is my mind sustained? Because the most brilliant stories are often born not just from passion, but from the well-being that allows that passion to truly flourish.

How do you navigate the delicate dance between creative flow and basic needs? Share your tips for staying nourished and inspired in the comments below!

…

Days 270 and 271

Writing Exercise – An old, inhabited house

…

I was stuck in a time warp.

It may have been amusing back when I was a child, stepping through a broken mirror and imagining i had gone back in time, to an age when the house was a beautiful old mansion.

Once it was a landmark, a place with many rooms and a sprawling, manicured garden surrounding it, with a maze and a lake with fish.

Now it was a frightening outline against a dark, lightning-filled sky, surrounded by townsfolk who wanted the eyesore demolished.

The city authorities had issued a repair order on the house and gardens, and failure to comply would see it declared unfit for habitation and a demolition order.

The thing is, my grandmother, a very sprightly 90-year-old, was determined to fight them and everyone else, often brandishing her trusty old blunderbuss at anyone who dared to breach the front gates.

The mayor’s brother wanted the land so he could finish his condominium conversion and fulfil his promise to the other condo holders that the noise would be gone and a golf course and swimming pool, along with a clubhouse and cinema, would be built.

She was fighting a losing battle.

She didn’t have the money to do the repairs or to fight any more court battles.

My mother didn’t see the point.  The developer had offered five million, enough to get a new house somewhere else.  Gran wanted twenty million, what it was worth.  The authorities were going to resume it for one million.

Such machinations were beyond my comprehension.  I might be older now, but it was still a fairytale castle.  Just the duel curved staircase from the foyer to the first floor was magic.

I had seen my sister descend that staircase in her prom dress like a princess, and could imagine all who came before her.

Standing in the middle of the ballroom, it was not hard to imagine the dances held there, the people doing a synchronised waltz as I had done once when learning it for my prom, the school orchestra playing, and all the boys and girls dancing.

And the parties it once hosted.

Now dusty, abandoned, silent except for the odd creaking of purported ghosts.

There were eighty rooms, sixty of them bedrooms, in two wings over three floors.  Fifteen families were living in the house: my grandmother, each of her eight children, of which my mother was one, twenty-three grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren.

None of the family left the city where they were born, lived, and most likely would die.  None had ever seen the need to leave.

Until now.

I was sitting on the bottom step of the elegant but decrepit staircase, contemplating whether it would be safe to slide down the banister, when Aunt Ruby skipped down the stairs and plonked herself down next to me.

Aunt Ruby was always in Halloween costumes, or so I thought.  She kept saying she was a Goth, but I had no idea what that meant.

She was also a computer hacker, and I knew what that was.  Every day, we were waiting for the FBI or the CIA to turn up at the front door. 

“Guess what?”

“The cops are coming to take you away?”

It was a running joke.

“No.  Cracked it.  We’re rich.”

Until the cops came and took her away.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

She handed me a piece of paper.  It had the name of a bank that I had never heard of in the Cayman Islands, in the name of some corporation no one could pronounce.

The sum of money $22,176,328.76.

“You are this corporation?”

“After it slushes through forty-three shell companies that will keep whoever it is used for a year.  It’s on its way to a Swiss numbered account, then Cloverville will be born.”

“Cloverville?”

“My money, my name.”  She jumped up and ran off to tell Granny.

…

Of course, having the money and deciding what to do were two very different things. Everyone had a very different idea.

My parents wanted their room, already palatial, to be even more so. I wanted my room to be bigger with my own bathroom, now very tired of being last in line. Maybe if I got up earlier…

Everyone wanted a cafeteria and kitchen separate, modelled on the dining room at the Savoy, but my grandmother liked the current kitchen with a wooden stove that kept us all warm in winter and boiling in summer, and we were all together around a large table.

It also meant that we all wanted servants, but as Aunt Ruby said, people didn’t have servants these days, and we had to do our dirty work, like cooking and cleaning, and she would not be employing servants. Gran could remember the day when there were servants, and she said they had never been treated very well or taken for granted.

People were doing it now, so people could keep doing it after the renovations.

Everyone wanted their own TV, and of course, it was going to be like a motel. A TV in every bedroom. Maybe. Aunt Ruby said the children were not getting a TV; they would get an iPad, and that was it. Parents could go to the Cinema Room.

What Cinema Room?

The basement was being cleared out of 200 years of clutter, and it was going to be a cinema, holding about 100 or so people.

I was surprised Aunt Ruby didn’t want to take over the bedroom that my parents were in. That’s when I learned she was taking up residence in the north tower.

What north tower?

And then there was the moat and drawbridge…

…

©  Charles Heath  2025

Days 270 and 271

Writing Exercise – An old, inhabited house

…

I was stuck in a time warp.

It may have been amusing back when I was a child, stepping through a broken mirror and imagining i had gone back in time, to an age when the house was a beautiful old mansion.

Once it was a landmark, a place with many rooms and a sprawling, manicured garden surrounding it, with a maze and a lake with fish.

Now it was a frightening outline against a dark, lightning-filled sky, surrounded by townsfolk who wanted the eyesore demolished.

The city authorities had issued a repair order on the house and gardens, and failure to comply would see it declared unfit for habitation and a demolition order.

The thing is, my grandmother, a very sprightly 90-year-old, was determined to fight them and everyone else, often brandishing her trusty old blunderbuss at anyone who dared to breach the front gates.

The mayor’s brother wanted the land so he could finish his condominium conversion and fulfil his promise to the other condo holders that the noise would be gone and a golf course and swimming pool, along with a clubhouse and cinema, would be built.

She was fighting a losing battle.

She didn’t have the money to do the repairs or to fight any more court battles.

My mother didn’t see the point.  The developer had offered five million, enough to get a new house somewhere else.  Gran wanted twenty million, what it was worth.  The authorities were going to resume it for one million.

Such machinations were beyond my comprehension.  I might be older now, but it was still a fairytale castle.  Just the duel curved staircase from the foyer to the first floor was magic.

I had seen my sister descend that staircase in her prom dress like a princess, and could imagine all who came before her.

Standing in the middle of the ballroom, it was not hard to imagine the dances held there, the people doing a synchronised waltz as I had done once when learning it for my prom, the school orchestra playing, and all the boys and girls dancing.

And the parties it once hosted.

Now dusty, abandoned, silent except for the odd creaking of purported ghosts.

There were eighty rooms, sixty of them bedrooms, in two wings over three floors.  Fifteen families were living in the house: my grandmother, each of her eight children, of which my mother was one, twenty-three grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren.

None of the family left the city where they were born, lived, and most likely would die.  None had ever seen the need to leave.

Until now.

I was sitting on the bottom step of the elegant but decrepit staircase, contemplating whether it would be safe to slide down the banister, when Aunt Ruby skipped down the stairs and plonked herself down next to me.

Aunt Ruby was always in Halloween costumes, or so I thought.  She kept saying she was a Goth, but I had no idea what that meant.

She was also a computer hacker, and I knew what that was.  Every day, we were waiting for the FBI or the CIA to turn up at the front door. 

“Guess what?”

“The cops are coming to take you away?”

It was a running joke.

“No.  Cracked it.  We’re rich.”

Until the cops came and took her away.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

She handed me a piece of paper.  It had the name of a bank that I had never heard of in the Cayman Islands, in the name of some corporation no one could pronounce.

The sum of money $22,176,328.76.

“You are this corporation?”

“After it slushes through forty-three shell companies that will keep whoever it is used for a year.  It’s on its way to a Swiss numbered account, then Cloverville will be born.”

“Cloverville?”

“My money, my name.”  She jumped up and ran off to tell Granny.

…

Of course, having the money and deciding what to do were two very different things. Everyone had a very different idea.

My parents wanted their room, already palatial, to be even more so. I wanted my room to be bigger with my own bathroom, now very tired of being last in line. Maybe if I got up earlier…

Everyone wanted a cafeteria and kitchen separate, modelled on the dining room at the Savoy, but my grandmother liked the current kitchen with a wooden stove that kept us all warm in winter and boiling in summer, and we were all together around a large table.

It also meant that we all wanted servants, but as Aunt Ruby said, people didn’t have servants these days, and we had to do our dirty work, like cooking and cleaning, and she would not be employing servants. Gran could remember the day when there were servants, and she said they had never been treated very well or taken for granted.

People were doing it now, so people could keep doing it after the renovations.

Everyone wanted their own TV, and of course, it was going to be like a motel. A TV in every bedroom. Maybe. Aunt Ruby said the children were not getting a TV; they would get an iPad, and that was it. Parents could go to the Cinema Room.

What Cinema Room?

The basement was being cleared out of 200 years of clutter, and it was going to be a cinema, holding about 100 or so people.

I was surprised Aunt Ruby didn’t want to take over the bedroom that my parents were in. That’s when I learned she was taking up residence in the north tower.

What north tower?

And then there was the moat and drawbridge…

…

©  Charles Heath  2025