Tag: Books

NANOWRIMO – November 2025 – Day 11

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The Third Son of a Duke

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So we are getting the back stories for a few of the passengers, a group forms, of which our protagonists are part of; my grandmother is there, but only as a floating member. I have given her a role that gels with the protagonist as a friend, though more aloof than the others.  As the son of a Duke, and therefore of aristocratic bearing, he and my grandmother will act as chaperones for the other girls who attach themselves to the group that gathers in the lounge.

He will prefer her as a companion while the likes of Louise tend to make a more romantic impact.  But, as one might expect of the time, he is uncertain of his arrangement with the arranged marriage, so he cannot commit to anything other than a respectable friendship, which he makes quite plain from the outset.

He is not looking for romance.  Others might be.

I also have a look at the reasons why so many disaffected young women are leaving England for a new life in Australia, far from the poverty, and worse, class distinction, the lack of opportunities for women, and the lack of acceptable husbands, not that they are looking.  There are also aspects of societal expectation that a woman doesn’t work and is meant to have children and look after their husbands.

This is a period where the unwritten rule of what society believes is a woman’s place in society is taking a beating, and women want more from their lives.  After all, suffragettes are fighting for electoral equality; at least in Australia, these girls will have a vote. 

…

1455 words, for a total of 16835 words.

Writing a book in 365 days – My Story 45

More about my story – What about a sequel?

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Beyond ‘The End’: When Your First Novel Whispers ‘Sequel!’

They say everyone has one novel in them. That singular, definitive story waiting to be told. And if you’re deep in the trenches of writing that very first book – or perhaps just emerging, blinking, from the final draft – you know the magnitude of that achievement. It’s a mountain climbed, a world birthed, a dream realised.

But what if, as you type those triumphant final words, your story doesn’t feel quite… finished? What if your characters still have unresolved arcs, your world still hums with unexplored corners, and a new conflict is already brewing on the distant horizon?

This is the siren call of the sequel, the whisper of a series, beckoning you beyond “The End.” And the question isn’t if it will happen, but how you decide when your definitive first novel should become the definitive first step in a much larger journey.

The Organic Unfurling: When Ideas Spark Early

Sometimes, the seed of a series is planted before you even write chapter one. You might be world-building, and realise your magic system is too complex for a single adventure. Or you create a cast of characters so rich, you know their individual journeys can’t possibly culminate in one book.

This is the beauty of organic discovery. As you plot, you might hit a snag and realise a subplot isn’t fitting, but it would make a fantastic central conflict for a future story. Or you leave a minor mystery unsolved, not out of oversight, but with the deliberate thought: “That’s for book two.”

Key signs it might be more than a standalone (even early on):

  • Vast World-Building: Your setting feels like a continent, not just a town. There are untouched cultures, unvisited lands, or deep historical layers begging exploration.
  • Complex Character Arcs: Your protagonist’s journey is profound, but you can see clear paths for growth beyond this initial conflict. Or a compelling secondary character deserves their own spotlight.
  • Lingering Questions/Plot Threads: You’ve wrapped up the central conflict of Book 1, but there are larger societal issues, ancient prophecies, or personal vendettas that naturally spill over.

The Post-Draft Revelation: When Your Story Demands More

Often, the realization hits after you’ve finished the first draft – or even after a round of revisions. You might be reading through, feeling proud, and suddenly a new idea sparks. “What if X happened next?” “How would Y react to Z now?”

This is a beautiful moment, because it means you’ve built something robust enough to inspire more. Your subconscious is telling you there’s still creative gold in that particular mine.

How to approach this post-draft revelation:

  1. Does Book 1 Stand Alone? This is crucial. A “definitive first novel” must feel complete in itself. The central conflict should be resolved, and the protagonist should have achieved a significant milestone. Don’t write a cliffhanger just because you might write a sequel. Future books should deepen the experience, not fix the first one.
  2. Brainstorm the Arc: Dedicate a session (or several) to mapping out potential sequels. What’s the new central conflict? How have your characters changed? What new challenges do they face? This isn’t about writing, just exploring.
  3. Check for Crossover Appeal: Does the core premise of your first novel have enough appeal to sustain multiple stories? Are there fresh angles to explore, or would you merely be repeating yourself?
  4. Listen to Your Gut: Does the thought of continuing fill you with excitement or dread? While writing is always hard work, the initial spark for a series should feel invigorating.

Why Stop at One? The Power of “More”

The adage “everyone has one novel in them” is true. But the idea that you should only write one is a self-imposed limitation. If your imagination is already conjuring new adventures in the same world, if your characters are clamouring for more development, why stifle that creative energy?

A series allows for:

  • Deeper World Exploration: To truly immerse readers in a rich, complex world.
  • Rich Character Development: To show growth, setbacks, and evolving relationships over a longer timeline.
  • Unfolding Grand Narratives: To tackle epic conflicts or explore complex themes that simply can’t be contained in a single volume.

So, as you nurture that definitive first novel, remember to keep an ear open. Does your story hum with untold tales? Do your characters beckon you towards new horizons? If so, embrace the possibility. Your definitive first novel might just be the definitive first step into a much larger, more thrilling literary journey. Why write one when you have a whole universe waiting to unfurl?

Writing a book in 365 days – My Story 45

More about my story – What about a sequel?

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Beyond ‘The End’: When Your First Novel Whispers ‘Sequel!’

They say everyone has one novel in them. That singular, definitive story waiting to be told. And if you’re deep in the trenches of writing that very first book – or perhaps just emerging, blinking, from the final draft – you know the magnitude of that achievement. It’s a mountain climbed, a world birthed, a dream realised.

But what if, as you type those triumphant final words, your story doesn’t feel quite… finished? What if your characters still have unresolved arcs, your world still hums with unexplored corners, and a new conflict is already brewing on the distant horizon?

This is the siren call of the sequel, the whisper of a series, beckoning you beyond “The End.” And the question isn’t if it will happen, but how you decide when your definitive first novel should become the definitive first step in a much larger journey.

The Organic Unfurling: When Ideas Spark Early

Sometimes, the seed of a series is planted before you even write chapter one. You might be world-building, and realise your magic system is too complex for a single adventure. Or you create a cast of characters so rich, you know their individual journeys can’t possibly culminate in one book.

This is the beauty of organic discovery. As you plot, you might hit a snag and realise a subplot isn’t fitting, but it would make a fantastic central conflict for a future story. Or you leave a minor mystery unsolved, not out of oversight, but with the deliberate thought: “That’s for book two.”

Key signs it might be more than a standalone (even early on):

  • Vast World-Building: Your setting feels like a continent, not just a town. There are untouched cultures, unvisited lands, or deep historical layers begging exploration.
  • Complex Character Arcs: Your protagonist’s journey is profound, but you can see clear paths for growth beyond this initial conflict. Or a compelling secondary character deserves their own spotlight.
  • Lingering Questions/Plot Threads: You’ve wrapped up the central conflict of Book 1, but there are larger societal issues, ancient prophecies, or personal vendettas that naturally spill over.

The Post-Draft Revelation: When Your Story Demands More

Often, the realization hits after you’ve finished the first draft – or even after a round of revisions. You might be reading through, feeling proud, and suddenly a new idea sparks. “What if X happened next?” “How would Y react to Z now?”

This is a beautiful moment, because it means you’ve built something robust enough to inspire more. Your subconscious is telling you there’s still creative gold in that particular mine.

How to approach this post-draft revelation:

  1. Does Book 1 Stand Alone? This is crucial. A “definitive first novel” must feel complete in itself. The central conflict should be resolved, and the protagonist should have achieved a significant milestone. Don’t write a cliffhanger just because you might write a sequel. Future books should deepen the experience, not fix the first one.
  2. Brainstorm the Arc: Dedicate a session (or several) to mapping out potential sequels. What’s the new central conflict? How have your characters changed? What new challenges do they face? This isn’t about writing, just exploring.
  3. Check for Crossover Appeal: Does the core premise of your first novel have enough appeal to sustain multiple stories? Are there fresh angles to explore, or would you merely be repeating yourself?
  4. Listen to Your Gut: Does the thought of continuing fill you with excitement or dread? While writing is always hard work, the initial spark for a series should feel invigorating.

Why Stop at One? The Power of “More”

The adage “everyone has one novel in them” is true. But the idea that you should only write one is a self-imposed limitation. If your imagination is already conjuring new adventures in the same world, if your characters are clamouring for more development, why stifle that creative energy?

A series allows for:

  • Deeper World Exploration: To truly immerse readers in a rich, complex world.
  • Rich Character Development: To show growth, setbacks, and evolving relationships over a longer timeline.
  • Unfolding Grand Narratives: To tackle epic conflicts or explore complex themes that simply can’t be contained in a single volume.

So, as you nurture that definitive first novel, remember to keep an ear open. Does your story hum with untold tales? Do your characters beckon you towards new horizons? If so, embrace the possibility. Your definitive first novel might just be the definitive first step into a much larger, more thrilling literary journey. Why write one when you have a whole universe waiting to unfurl?

First Dig Two Graves

A sequel to “The Devil You Don’t”

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Revenge is a dish best served cold – or preferably so when everything goes right

Of course, it rarely does, as Alistair, Zoe’s handler, discovers to his peril. Enter a wildcard, John, and whatever Alistair’s plan for dealing with Zoe was dies with him.

It leaves Zoe in completely unfamiliar territory.

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John’s idyllic romance with a woman who is utterly out of his comfort zone is on borrowed time. She is still trying to reconcile her ambivalence, after being so indifferent for so long.

They agree to take a break, during which she disappears. John, thinking she has left without saying goodbye, refuses to accept the inevitable, calls on an old friend for help in finding her.

After the mayhem and being briefly reunited, she recognises an inevitable truth: there is a price to pay for taking out Alistair; she must leave and find them first, and he would be wise to keep a low profile.

But keeping a low profile just isn’t possible, and enlisting another friend, a private detective and his sister, a deft computer hacker, they track her to the border between Austria and Hungary.

What John doesn’t realise is that another enemy is tracking him to find her too. It could have been a grand tour of Europe. Instead, it becomes a race against time before enemies old and new converge for what will be an inevitable showdown.

NANOWRIMO – November 2025 – Day 10

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The Third Son of a Duke

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Yesterday we were talking about the social mores of the day, and so I did a little research…

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Setting Sail for Adventure: Decorum and Debauchery in Second Class, 1914

The modern cruise ship, with its all-you-can-eat buffets and poolside revelry, often conjures images of an exuberant, perhaps even uninhibited, youth. It’s easy to imagine young adults embracing a spirit of “live for the moment” on a contemporary voyage. But what about their ancestors, embarking on a similar, albeit far more arduous, journey a century ago? Specifically, what were the acceptable social norms for young people travelling in second class from England to Australia in 1914, and how might they have comported themselves, a world away from today’s cruise ship scene?

The very idea of “acceptable social norms” in 1914 is a stark contrast to our contemporary understanding. Society was far more rigid, with deeply ingrained expectations regarding behaviour, dress, and social interaction, especially for young, unmarried individuals. The journey from England to Australia, often a voyage lasting weeks and involving significant time in close quarters, would have been a microcosm of these societal standards.

Second Class in 1914: A Different Kind of Journey

First class, of course, was the domain of the wealthy and aristocratic, with its own set of gilded rules. But second class, while not as opulent, still offered a degree of comfort and privacy that distinguished it from steerage. Passengers in second class were generally of the middle and upper-middle classes – professionals, skilled tradespeople, and those with respectable means. The expectation was that they would carry themselves with a degree of decorum befitting their social standing.

For young women, the norms were particularly stringent:

  • Chaperonage: Unmarried young women were rarely expected to travel unaccompanied. If they were travelling alone, it was usually for a specific, respectable purpose, like joining family or taking up employment as a governess. Even then, they would have been expected to be discreet and avoid drawing undue attention. If travelling with friends of a similar age, a more senior female relative or acquaintance would ideally be present to offer guidance and supervision.
  • Dress: Modesty was paramount. Dresses would be long-sleeved and ankle-length, with high necklines. Even for leisure, elaborate hats and gloves might be worn for meals or time spent on deck. Casual wear as we know it simply didn’t exist.
  • Social Interaction: Interactions with young men would have been carefully managed. Polite conversation was acceptable, but prolonged or overly familiar interactions would have been frowned upon. Any hint of romantic entanglement would have been a serious matter, potentially impacting a young woman’s reputation and future prospects. Flirtation, if it occurred, would have been subtle and masked by propriety.
  • Activities: While there would have been opportunities for socializing on deck, activities would have been more sedate. Reading, embroidery, letter writing, and quiet conversation would have been common. Group card games or board games might have been played, but always with an air of polite engagement.

For young men, the expectations, while perhaps slightly less restrictive than for women, were still substantial:

  • Respect and Deference: Young men were expected to show respect to their elders and to ladies. Overt displays of bravado or boisterous behaviour would have been considered ill-mannered.
  • Dress: Formal attire was often the norm for dinner, even in second class. Suits, ties, and smart shoes would be expected.
  • Activities: While they might have engaged in more active pursuits on deck, such as deck quoits or walking, they would still have maintained a civil demeanour. Engaging in gambling or heavy drinking would have been seen as unsavoury.
  • Interactions with Women: As with young women, interactions would have been governed by politeness. Overtures towards unmarried women would have been inappropriate and could lead to social ostracisation for both parties.

A Hypothetical Voyage: England to Australia in 1914

So, if those same young people who might now be “perpetually drunk and promiscuous” on a modern cruise were instead on a 1914 voyage from England to Australia in second class, what would their experience likely have been?

Instead of loud music and raucous parties, imagine:

  • Quiet Evenings on Deck: Young women might be found seated with their companions, perhaps engaged in conversation or a quiet game of cards, while young men stroll nearby, exchanging polite greetings.
  • Respectful Pursuits: Reading novels, writing letters home detailing the voyage, or perhaps learning a new skill like sketching the passing scenery. Evenings might involve listening to a fellow passenger play the piano or attending a small, organised lecture.
  • Carefully Navigated Social Circles: Any developing friendships would be nurtured within the watchful gaze of chaperones or the implicit understanding of societal expectations. A stolen glance or a whispered conversation might be the extent of any budding romance.
  • A Sense of Purpose: This was not a holiday for most. Many were emigrating for a new life, seeking opportunities, or reuniting with family. The journey itself was a significant undertaking, often involving a considerable financial and emotional investment. This inherent seriousness would have tempered any inclination towards frivolous behaviour.

What about the “drunk and promiscuous” aspect?

While alcohol was certainly available and consumed, the levels of public intoxication seen on some modern cruises would have been highly scandalous. Drunkenness would have been seen as a sign of poor breeding and lack of self-control. Promiscuity would have been even more damaging, carrying severe social repercussions for all involved. The fear of gossip and the potential ruin of one’s reputation would have been a powerful deterrent.

In essence, the young passengers of 1914 second class were confined by a much stricter social contract. Their interactions would have been characterised by restraint, politeness, and a keen awareness of their social standing and future prospects. While a spark of youthful exuberance might have still flickered, it would have been expressed through more subtle means – perhaps a shared laugh during a formal dinner, a spirited debate on deck, or the shy exchange of a dance card at a rare shipboard social event. It was a world where decorum reigned, and the consequences of transgressing those norms were far more severe than a few disapproving glances on a modern cruise.

…

So our interactions might be a little less rigid, but it will be with a lot of the guidelines in place. My grandmother, being about 25, would have been more the chaperone type those those younger, and the ship’s staff would have ensured the men behaved.

Writing a book in 365 days – 297

Day 297

Passive V Active voice

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From Mire to Might: Your Blueprint for Conquering Passive Voice and Forging Powerful Prose

Ah, the passive voice. It’s the literary equivalent of that comfy old couch you sink into – sometimes it feels just right, but often it leaves you feeling a bit… flabby. As writers, we all know it exists. We’ve read the rules, seen the examples. Yet, like a sneaky saboteur, it still manages to creep into our drafts without us even realizing it. One minute you’re flowing, the next you’re rereading a paragraph and thinking, “Wait, who’s actually doing this action?”

The struggle is real. Training ourselves to consistently choose active voice isn’t about memorizing rules; it’s about rewiring our writing instincts. It’s about pulling ourselves out of that linguistic mire before we’ve even completely sunk. So, how do we practice this art, consciously and effectively? Let’s dive in.

Why Bother? A Quick Reminder of Active Voice’s Superpowers

Before we get to the “how,” let’s quickly refresh why active voice is so crucial for powerful writing:

  • Clarity: It leaves no doubt about who or what is performing the action.
  • Directness: It cuts straight to the point, avoiding unnecessary words.
  • Impact: It feels stronger, more confident, and more authoritative.
  • Engagement: It draws the reader in, making your sentences more dynamic.
  • Conciseness: It often shortens sentences, tightening your prose.

In short, active voice breathes life and energy into your words.

Your Training Regimen: Exercises to Forge Active Voice Habits

This isn’t about shaming; it’s about sharpening. Here’s how to build your active voice muscle.

1. The “Be” Test & The “By Whom/What” Test (Your Detector Tools)

First, you need to be able to spot the passive voice.

  • The “Be” Test: Look for forms of the verb “to be” (is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been) followed by a past participle (a verb usually ending in -ed or -en).
    • Example: “The report was written by Jane.” (was + written)
    • Example: “Mistakes were made.” (were + made)
    • Important Note: Not every “to be” verb indicates passive voice, but it’s a huge flag to investigate.
  • The “By Whom/What” Test: If you can add “by [someone/something]” after the verb without the sentence becoming nonsensical, it’s likely passive.
    • Example: “The decision was made (by the committee).” ✅ Passive
    • Example: “She is happy (by her dog).” ❌ Not passive

Practice Drill: Go through a recent piece of your writing. With a highlighter (digital or physical), mark every instance where you see a “be” verb + past participle, and then apply the “by whom/what” test. Don’t correct yet – just identify. This trains your eye.

2. The “Who’s Doing What?” Drill (Rewiring Your Brain)

Once you’ve identified a passive sentence, your next step is to consciously find the actor and make them the star.

  • Step A: Find the Action. What is the main action taking place?
  • Step B: Find the Actor. Who or what is performing that action? (This might be hidden in a “by” phrase or completely absent).
  • Step C: Reconstruct. Make the actor the subject of the sentence, followed by the active verb, and then the object.
    • Passive: “The novel was written by a young author.”
    • Action: “written”
    • Actor: “a young author”
    • Active: “A young author wrote the novel.”
    • Passive: “Numerous errors were found during the review.”
    • Action: “found”
    • Actor: (Not explicitly stated, but implied: the reviewers)
    • Active: “The reviewers found numerous errors during the review.” (Or, if the reviewers are truly irrelevant, consider rephrasing entirely: “The review revealed numerous errors.”)

Practice Drill: Take all those highlighted passive sentences from your previous exercise. Now, rewrite each one into active voice. Focus on making the actor explicit and the verb direct. Do this rapidly, like a quick-fire exercise, to build speed and instinct.

3. The “Passive Purge” Editing Round (Systematic Correction)

When you’re drafting, don’t stop the flow to correct passive voice. Get your ideas down. The dedicated passive voice editing round comes after the initial draft.

  • First Pass: Write freely.
  • Second Pass (or later): Go through your entire draft specifically looking for passive constructions. Treat it like a scavenger hunt. Tools like Grammarly or ProWritingAid can help flag them, but don’t just accept their suggestions blindly – understand why it’s passive and actively choose the best active alternative.

Practice Drill: Schedule a “Passive Purge” session for every piece of writing you produce for the next month. Make it a non-negotiable step in your editing process. The more you consciously identify and correct, the more your brain will start to flag it during the drafting stage.

4. Read Aloud (The Auditory Test)

Passive voice often sounds clunky, wordy, and indirect. Reading your work aloud forces you to hear the rhythm and flow (or lack thereof).

Practice Drill: Whenever you’re unsure about a sentence, read it aloud. If it sounds circuitous or less energetic than it could be, chances are a passive construction is lurking. Then, try rephrasing it actively and read that version aloud too. The difference in impact will often be stark.

5. Don’t Be a Zealot (Embrace the Nuance)

While active voice is generally stronger, passive voice does have its place. The goal isn’t to eradicate it entirely, but to use it consciously and strategically, not accidentally.

When passive is okay (or even preferred):

  • When the actor is unknown or unimportant: “The email was sent at midnight.” (Who sent it isn’t the point.)
  • When you want to emphasize the action or the recipient of the action over the actor: “The groundbreaking discovery was made in 2023.”
  • When you want to deliberately avoid naming the actor (for political or diplomatic reasons): “Mistakes were made.”
  • To vary sentence structure: Sometimes a passive sentence can provide a welcome rhythm change, if used sparingly.

Practice Drill: For every passive sentence you choose to keep, briefly note down why. This reinforces your understanding of its strategic uses and prevents it from being a crutch.

The Long Game: Consistency is Key

Training yourself to default to active voice is like building any other muscle – it requires consistent effort. You’ll stumble, you’ll miss things, and sometimes, a passive sentence will genuinely slip through. That’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection, but progress.

Make these drills a regular part of your writing routine. The more you consciously engage with identifying and transforming passive constructions, the deeper that active voice habit will embed itself. Soon, you’ll find yourself not just pulling yourself out of the mire, but steering clear of it altogether, forging prose that is undeniably powerful, clear, and impactful.

Now, go forth and write brilliantly, actively!

Another excerpt from ‘Betrayal’; a work in progress

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My next destination in the quest was the hotel we believed Anne Merriweather had stayed at.

I was, in a sense, flying blind because we had no concrete evidence she had been there, and the message she had left behind didn’t quite name the hotel or where Vladimir was going to take her.

Mindful of the fact that someone might have been following me, I checked to see if the person I’d assumed had followed me to Elizabeth’s apartment was still in place, but I couldn’t see him. Next, I made a mental note of seven different candidates and committed them to memory.

Then I set off to the hotel, hailing a taxi. There was the possibility the cab driver was one of them, but perhaps I was slightly more paranoid than I should be. I’d been watching the queue, and there were two others before me.

The journey took about an hour, during which time I kept an eye out the back to see if anyone had been following us. If anyone was, I couldn’t see them.

I had the cab drop me off a block from the hotel and then spent the next hour doing a complete circuit of the block the hotel was on, checking the front and rear entrances, the cameras in place, and the siting of the driveway into the underground carpark. There was a camera over the entrance, and one we hadn’t checked for footage. I sent a text message to Fritz to look into it.

The hotel lobby was large and busy, which was exactly what you’d want if you wanted to come and go without standing out. It would be different later at night, but I could see her arriving about mid-afternoon, and anonymous among the type of clientele the hotel attracted.

I spent an hour sitting in various positions in the lobby simply observing. I had already ascertained where the elevator lobby for the rooms was, and the elevator down to the car park. Fortunately, it was not ‘guarded’ but there was a steady stream of concierge staff coming and going to the lower levels, and, just from time to time, guests.

Then, when there was a commotion at the front door, what seemed to be a collision of guests and free-wheeling bags, I saw one of the seven potential taggers sitting by the front door. Waiting for me to leave? Or were they wondering why I was spending so much time there?

Taking advantage of that confusion, I picked my moment to head for the elevators that went down to the car park, pressed the down button, and waited.

The was no car on the ground level, so I had to wait, watching, like several others, the guests untangling themselves at the entrance, and an eye on my potential surveillance, still absorbed in the confusion.

The doors to the left car opened, and a concierge stepped out, gave me a quick look, then headed back to his desk. I stepped into the car, pressed the first level down, the level I expected cars to arrive on, and waited what seemed like a long time for the doors to close.

As they did, I was expecting to see a hand poke through the gap, a latecomer. Nothing happened, and I put it down to a television moment.

There were three basement levels, and for a moment, I let my imagination run wild and considered the possibility that there were more levels. Of course, there was no indication on the control panel that there were any other floors, and I’d yet to see anything like it in reality.

With a shake of my head to return to reality, the car arrived, the doors opened, and I stepped out.

A car pulled up, and the driver stepped out, went around to the rear of his car, and pulled out a case. I half expected him to throw me the keys, but the instant glance he gave me told him was not the concierge, and instead brushed past me like I wasn’t there.

He bashed the up button several times impatiently and cursed when the doors didn’t open immediately. Not a happy man.

Another car drove past on its way down to a lower level.

I looked up and saw the CCTV camera, pointing towards the entrance, visible in the distance. A gate that lifted up was just about back in position and then made a clunk when it finally closed. The footage from the camera would not prove much, even if it had been working, because it didn’t cover the life lobby, only in the direction of the car entrance.

The doors to the other elevator car opened, and a man in a suit stepped out.

“Can I help you, sir? You seem lost.”

Security, or something else. “It seems that way. I went to the elevator lobby, got in, and it went down rather than up. I must have been in the wrong place.”

“Lost it is, then, sir.” I could hear the contempt for Americans in his tone. “If you will accompany me, please.”

He put out a hand ready to guide me back into the elevator. I was only too happy to oblige him. There had been a sign near the button panel that said the basement levels were only to be accessed by the guests.

Once inside, he turned a key and pressed the lobby button. The doors closed, and we went up. He stood, facing the door, not speaking. A few seconds later, he was ushering me out to the lobby.

“Now, sir, if you are a guest…”

“Actually, I’m looking for one. She called me and said she would be staying in this hotel and to come down and visit her. I was trying to get to the sixth floor.”

“Good. Let’s go over the the desk and see what we can do for you.”

I followed him over to the reception desk, where he signalled one of the clerks, a young woman who looked and acted very efficiently, and told her of my request, but then remained to oversee the proceeding.

“Name of guest, sir?”

“Merriweather, Anne. I’m her brother, Alexander.” I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out my passport to prove that I was who I said I was. She glanced cursorily at it.

She typed the name into the computer, and then we waited a few seconds while it considered what to output. Then, she said, “That lady is not in the hotel, sir.”

Time to put on my best-confused look. “But she said she would be staying here for the week. I made a special trip to come here to see her.”

Another puzzled look from the clerk, then, “When did she call you?”

An interesting question to ask, and it set off a warning bell in my head. I couldn’t say today, it would have to be the day she was supposedly taken.

“Last Saturday, about four in the afternoon.”

Another look at the screen, then, “It appears she checked out Sunday morning. I’m afraid you have made a trip in vain.”

Indeed, I had. “Was she staying with anyone?”

I just managed to see the warning pass from the suited man to the clerk. I thought he had shown an interest when I mentioned the name, and now I had confirmation. He knew something about her disappearance. The trouble was, he wasn’t going to volunteer any information because he was more than just hotel security.

“No.”

“Odd,” I muttered. “I thought she told me she was staying with a man named Vladimir something or other. I’m not too good at pronouncing those Russian names. Are you sure?”

She didn’t look back at the screen. “Yes.”

“OK, now one thing I do know about staying in hotels is that you are required to ask guests with foreign passports their next destination, just in case they need to be found. Did she say where she was going next?” It was a long shot, but I thought I’d ask.

“Moscow. As I understand it, she lives in Moscow. That was the only address she gave us.”

I smiled. “Thank you. I know where that is. I probably should have gone there first.”

She didn’t answer; she didn’t have to, her expression did that perfectly.

The suited man spoke again, looking at the clerk. “Thank you.” He swivelled back to me. “I’m sorry we can’t help you.”

“No. You have more than you can know.”

“What was your name again, sir, just in case you still cannot find her?”

“Alexander Merriweather. Her brother. And if she is still missing, I will be posting a very large reward. At the moment, you can best contact me via the American Embassy.”

Money is always a great motivator, and that thoughtful expression on his face suggested he gave a moment’s thought to it.

I left him with that offer and left. If anything, the people who were holding her would know she had a brother, that her brother was looking for her, and equally that brother had money.

…

© Charles Heath – 2018-2025

Writing a book in 365 days – 297

Day 297

Passive V Active voice

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From Mire to Might: Your Blueprint for Conquering Passive Voice and Forging Powerful Prose

Ah, the passive voice. It’s the literary equivalent of that comfy old couch you sink into – sometimes it feels just right, but often it leaves you feeling a bit… flabby. As writers, we all know it exists. We’ve read the rules, seen the examples. Yet, like a sneaky saboteur, it still manages to creep into our drafts without us even realizing it. One minute you’re flowing, the next you’re rereading a paragraph and thinking, “Wait, who’s actually doing this action?”

The struggle is real. Training ourselves to consistently choose active voice isn’t about memorizing rules; it’s about rewiring our writing instincts. It’s about pulling ourselves out of that linguistic mire before we’ve even completely sunk. So, how do we practice this art, consciously and effectively? Let’s dive in.

Why Bother? A Quick Reminder of Active Voice’s Superpowers

Before we get to the “how,” let’s quickly refresh why active voice is so crucial for powerful writing:

  • Clarity: It leaves no doubt about who or what is performing the action.
  • Directness: It cuts straight to the point, avoiding unnecessary words.
  • Impact: It feels stronger, more confident, and more authoritative.
  • Engagement: It draws the reader in, making your sentences more dynamic.
  • Conciseness: It often shortens sentences, tightening your prose.

In short, active voice breathes life and energy into your words.

Your Training Regimen: Exercises to Forge Active Voice Habits

This isn’t about shaming; it’s about sharpening. Here’s how to build your active voice muscle.

1. The “Be” Test & The “By Whom/What” Test (Your Detector Tools)

First, you need to be able to spot the passive voice.

  • The “Be” Test: Look for forms of the verb “to be” (is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been) followed by a past participle (a verb usually ending in -ed or -en).
    • Example: “The report was written by Jane.” (was + written)
    • Example: “Mistakes were made.” (were + made)
    • Important Note: Not every “to be” verb indicates passive voice, but it’s a huge flag to investigate.
  • The “By Whom/What” Test: If you can add “by [someone/something]” after the verb without the sentence becoming nonsensical, it’s likely passive.
    • Example: “The decision was made (by the committee).” ✅ Passive
    • Example: “She is happy (by her dog).” ❌ Not passive

Practice Drill: Go through a recent piece of your writing. With a highlighter (digital or physical), mark every instance where you see a “be” verb + past participle, and then apply the “by whom/what” test. Don’t correct yet – just identify. This trains your eye.

2. The “Who’s Doing What?” Drill (Rewiring Your Brain)

Once you’ve identified a passive sentence, your next step is to consciously find the actor and make them the star.

  • Step A: Find the Action. What is the main action taking place?
  • Step B: Find the Actor. Who or what is performing that action? (This might be hidden in a “by” phrase or completely absent).
  • Step C: Reconstruct. Make the actor the subject of the sentence, followed by the active verb, and then the object.
    • Passive: “The novel was written by a young author.”
    • Action: “written”
    • Actor: “a young author”
    • Active: “A young author wrote the novel.”
    • Passive: “Numerous errors were found during the review.”
    • Action: “found”
    • Actor: (Not explicitly stated, but implied: the reviewers)
    • Active: “The reviewers found numerous errors during the review.” (Or, if the reviewers are truly irrelevant, consider rephrasing entirely: “The review revealed numerous errors.”)

Practice Drill: Take all those highlighted passive sentences from your previous exercise. Now, rewrite each one into active voice. Focus on making the actor explicit and the verb direct. Do this rapidly, like a quick-fire exercise, to build speed and instinct.

3. The “Passive Purge” Editing Round (Systematic Correction)

When you’re drafting, don’t stop the flow to correct passive voice. Get your ideas down. The dedicated passive voice editing round comes after the initial draft.

  • First Pass: Write freely.
  • Second Pass (or later): Go through your entire draft specifically looking for passive constructions. Treat it like a scavenger hunt. Tools like Grammarly or ProWritingAid can help flag them, but don’t just accept their suggestions blindly – understand why it’s passive and actively choose the best active alternative.

Practice Drill: Schedule a “Passive Purge” session for every piece of writing you produce for the next month. Make it a non-negotiable step in your editing process. The more you consciously identify and correct, the more your brain will start to flag it during the drafting stage.

4. Read Aloud (The Auditory Test)

Passive voice often sounds clunky, wordy, and indirect. Reading your work aloud forces you to hear the rhythm and flow (or lack thereof).

Practice Drill: Whenever you’re unsure about a sentence, read it aloud. If it sounds circuitous or less energetic than it could be, chances are a passive construction is lurking. Then, try rephrasing it actively and read that version aloud too. The difference in impact will often be stark.

5. Don’t Be a Zealot (Embrace the Nuance)

While active voice is generally stronger, passive voice does have its place. The goal isn’t to eradicate it entirely, but to use it consciously and strategically, not accidentally.

When passive is okay (or even preferred):

  • When the actor is unknown or unimportant: “The email was sent at midnight.” (Who sent it isn’t the point.)
  • When you want to emphasize the action or the recipient of the action over the actor: “The groundbreaking discovery was made in 2023.”
  • When you want to deliberately avoid naming the actor (for political or diplomatic reasons): “Mistakes were made.”
  • To vary sentence structure: Sometimes a passive sentence can provide a welcome rhythm change, if used sparingly.

Practice Drill: For every passive sentence you choose to keep, briefly note down why. This reinforces your understanding of its strategic uses and prevents it from being a crutch.

The Long Game: Consistency is Key

Training yourself to default to active voice is like building any other muscle – it requires consistent effort. You’ll stumble, you’ll miss things, and sometimes, a passive sentence will genuinely slip through. That’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection, but progress.

Make these drills a regular part of your writing routine. The more you consciously engage with identifying and transforming passive constructions, the deeper that active voice habit will embed itself. Soon, you’ll find yourself not just pulling yourself out of the mire, but steering clear of it altogether, forging prose that is undeniably powerful, clear, and impactful.

Now, go forth and write brilliantly, actively!

NANOWRIMO – November 2025 – Day 9

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The Third Son of a Duke

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I cannot begin to imagine if one were a single man travelling in second class with so many eligible women, what thoughts might pass through his mind. 

I imagine that behaviour might have been somewhat more circumspect in such a setting at the time, 1914, and that what I have read of the times, we cannot accept that they might have the same behaviour as they would today.

There are so many stories about young people travelling on cruise ships and the exploits they get up to, but back then, in an era where rules were more strictly enforced, more than half of those passengers were older, with families, and would expect socially responsible behaviour.

In an age where the captain of the ship was almost God like in stature, I suspect misbehaving on a ship would be met with swift action.  Certainly, alcohol was not freely flowing and sometimes not available; it was, in those days, at the discretion of the Captain.

So I’m running with the captain running a tight ship, the passengers behaving acceptably, and anything else was kept where it belonged, out of sight and mind.  That wouldn’t stop gossip or cliques from trying to figure out who and what their fellow passengers were, or that passengers who were initially strangers wouldn’t come together in groups for conversation, meals, and socialising.

There will be social events, like card nights, concerts, lantern lectures, and deck games, for children and adults alike.  There would be dances, where these young people could let off a little steam and meet others.

Six weeks on a ship in practically confinement is fodder for a lot of twists in the tale.

…

1715 words, for a total of 15380 words.

Writing a book in 365 days – 296

Day 296

How do we write a story with the characters playing particular roles, make it a story that by the end, the reader says, ‘wow, that gave me an insight I didn’t have before’

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Beyond the Surface: Crafting Stories That Reveal Profound Insight

We’ve all been there. You finish a book, a short story, or even a compelling anecdote, and for a moment, the world looks a little different. A subtle shift has occurred in your understanding, a corner of your mind has been illuminated, and you find yourself thinking, “Wow. I never thought about it that way before.”

As writers, this is the Holy Grail. We don’t just want to entertain; we want to resonate. We want to leave our readers with more than just a memory of plot points, but with a genuine, lasting insight. And often, the key to unlocking this lies not just in the story itself, but in how we craft our characters and the “particular roles” they play.

The Power of “Particular Roles” – Beyond the Obvious

When we talk about characters playing “particular roles,” it’s easy to think of archetypes: the hero, the villain, the mentor, the damsel in distress. While these are foundational, to achieve that “wow” insight, we need to delve deeper.

A character’s “role” isn’t just their job title or their place in the narrative structure. It’s their societal function, their familial position, their self-perception, the expectations others place upon them, and even the masks they wear.

  • The Unyielding CEO: Is she truly ruthless, or is her iron facade a shield against a past vulnerability?
  • The Meek Assistant: Is his quiet compliance a sign of weakness, or a calculated strategy for survival in a cutthroat environment?
  • The Rebellious Teenager: Is her defiance simply adolescent angst, or a desperate cry for authenticity in a world that demands conformity?

These are the “particular roles” we define. But the magic happens not when the character plays the role, but when they interact with it, challenge it, or are ultimately defined by its unexpected complexities.

Unveiling the Unseen: The Art of Subversion and Empathy

The “wow” insight rarely comes from a character simply acting as expected. It emerges when we, the readers, witness the tension between a character’s assigned role and their true nature, their hidden motivations, or the profound impact that role has had on their soul.

Here’s how we achieve it:

  1. Establish the Role (and its Expectations): Introduce your character within a clearly defined role, even if it’s a stereotype. Let the reader settle into their preconceived notions. This sets the stage for the revelation.
    • Example: Introduce the gruff, solitary old man who seemingly hates children.
  2. Introduce Conflict That Challenges the Role: Place the character in a situation that forces them to act outside the confines of their established role, or reveals the cost of maintaining it. This conflict should expose a deeper layer of who they are.
    • Example: A lost child appears on the old man’s doorstep during a blizzard, forcing him to choose between his solitude and his humanity.
  3. Explore the “Why” Behind the Role: What experiences, fears, or desires molded them into this role? What sacrifices have they made, or what truths have they suppressed to maintain it? This is where empathy is forged.
    • Example: As the old man reluctantly cares for the child, flashbacks reveal he lost his own daughter years ago, and his gruffness is a defensive mechanism against further heartbreak. His solitude isn’t misanthropy; it’s grief.
  4. Show the Gradual Erosion or Unraveling: The insight isn’t usually a sudden, dramatic reveal (though it can be). More often, it’s a slow burn, a series of small moments where the reader pieces together the character’s true self, seeing past the initial role.
    • Example: The child’s innocent questions chip away at the old man’s defenses. He finds himself sharing stories, showing kindness, and slowly, painfully, re-engaging with the world he’d shut out.
  5. Connect to a Universal Truth: The character’s specific journey should illuminate a broader human experience. Their struggle with their “role” should reflect something we all grapple with: the masks we wear, the expectations we face, the hidden pains we carry, or the unexpected sources of strength we find.
    • Example: The reader realizes that true grief isn’t about avoiding pain, but about finding the courage to connect again. The “insight” here isn’t just about the old man, but about the nature of grief and resilience itself.

The “Aha!” Moment: When the Reader Connects the Dots

The true “wow” moment isn’t when you tell the reader something. It’s when they discover it, often feeling like they’ve connected dots that were always there but previously invisible.

It’s the realization that:

  • The “villain” isn’t evil, but a product of an unjust system, fighting for a warped version of good.
  • The “hero” carries immense personal baggage, and their strength comes from battling internal demons as much as external foes.
  • The seemingly “insignificant” background character holds the key to an entirely different perspective on the main conflict.

By meticulously crafting characters who embody specific roles, then showing the pressures, hypocrisies, sacrifices, or hidden depths that lie beneath those roles, we don’t just tell a story – we create an experience. We invite the reader into a deeper understanding of human nature, challenging their assumptions and expanding their worldview.

So, as you build your next story, think about the roles your characters play. Then, ask yourself: How can I use this role not just as a descriptor, but as a crucible in which a profound, unforgettable insight can be forged? That’s when your readers will close the book, pause, and say, “Wow.”