Tired Tropes: Why It’s Time to Retire “Smart as a Whip,” “Light as a Feather,” and “dumb as a rock” (And What to Use Instead)
We’ve all been there. You’re in the flow of writing a scene, drafting a marketing email, or chatting with a friend, and a familiar phrase drops off your fingertips.
She was light as a feather.He was smart as a whip.That idea is dumb as a rock.
They’re comfortable. They’re automatic. And, frankly, they are dead on arrival.
In copywriting and creative writing alike, clichés are the fast-food of language: they fill a craving instantly, but they leave your audience feeling uninspired and unsatisfied. When we rely on tired idioms, we trade specific imagery for lazy shorthand.
If you want to elevate your writing, boost your SEO engagement by reducing bounce rates (readers stick around longer for original prose!), and captivate your audience, it’s time to banish these three overused similes.
Let’s break down why they fail, and explore fresh, vibrant alternatives that will make your writing pop.
Cliche #1: “Smart as a Whip”
Why It Fails
Where did this even come from? A leather strap attached to a handle doesn’t exactly scream “cognitive genius.” While etymologists debate its origins—some point to the snap of a whip representing quickness, others to a “smart” (stinging) lash—the phrase has been beaten to death. It’s a vague umbrella term that tells your reader someone is intelligent without showing how that intelligence manifests.
Fresh Alternatives
Intelligence isn’t a monolith. A person can be mathematically gifted, socially brilliant, or quick on their feet. Show your reader the flavor of their smarts:
For quick-wittedness: Sharp as a tack, quick-silver, nimble-minded, brilliantly agile.
For deep intellect: Encyclopedic, sagacious, razor-sharp, intellectually voracious.
In a sentence: Instead of “She was smart as a whip during the negotiation,” try:“She sliced through the corporate jargon with surgical precision, anticipating counter-arguments before they even left the room.”
Cliché #2: “Light as a Feather”
Why It Fails
Unless you are literally writing a scientific paper about avian plumage, “light as a feather” is completely devoid of sensory detail. It’s a ghost of a description. It doesn’t help the reader feel the weightlessness; it just tells them the math of the mass.
Fresh Alternatives
Weightlessness can be terrifying, graceful, or magical. Tap into the physical sensations of air, movement, and suspension to bring your descriptions to life:
For physical objects: Buoyant, ethereal, gossamer, weightless, vaporous, floating on a breeze.
For people or movements: Effortless, floating, unanchored, graceful as a drifted leaf.
In a sentence: Instead of “The vintage silk dress was light as a feather,” try:“The vintage silk cascaded over her skin like a second atmosphere, practically floating on the ambient air.”
Cliché #3: “Dumb as a Rock”
Why It Fails
Aside from being unoriginal, calling someone (or something) “dumb as a rock” is a blunt-force instrument. It lacks nuance, and frankly, rocks have a lot of geological history going for them—they are much more interesting than this insult implies. Relying on this phrase misses an opportunity to inject humor, vivid imagery, or specific critique into your writing.
Fresh Alternatives
If you need to describe a lack of common sense, ignorance, or a thoroughly unwise decision, you have a wealth of colorful alternatives at your disposal:
For foolishness: Clueless, vacant, dense as lead, hopelessly out-to-lunch, playing checkers in a chess grandmaster tournament.
For bad ideas: Ill-conceived, half-baked, structurally unsound, a house of cards.
In a sentence: Instead of “That business strategy is dumb as a rock,” try:“That business strategy was about as seaworthy as a screen-door canoe.”
How to Spot Clichés in Your Own Writing
Writing without clichés isn’t about never using a common phrase again; it’s about developing an editor’s eye for autopilot writing. The next time you edit your work, run this quick mental check:
The “First Thought” Test: If a phrase or comparison pops into your head immediately, it probably popped into a million other writers’ heads, too. Pause, delete it, and force yourself to brainstorm three alternative descriptions.
Appeal to the Senses: Clichés are abstract. Real writing is sensory. Does your description sound, smell, look, feel, or taste like something specific?
Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of telling us someone is “smart as a whip” or a concept is “dumb as a rock,” show us the action, the consequence, or the environment that proves it.
Upgrade Your Vocabulary Today
Language is a living, breathing toolkit. When we rely on clichés like smart as a whip, light as a feather, and dumb as a rock, we dull our tools. Swap them out for specific, evocative, and surprising alternatives, and watch your writing instantly transform from generic to unforgettable.
What’s your least favorite cliché? Drop it in the comments below along with your favorite alternative!
Williams’ Restaurant, East 65th Street, New York, Saturday, 8:00 p.m.
We met the Blaines at Williams’, a rather upmarket restaurant that the Blaines frequently visited and had recommended.
Of course, during the taxi ride there, Alison reminded me that with my new job, we would be able to go to many more places like Williams’. It was, at worst, more emotional blackmail, because as far as Alison was concerned, we were well on our way to posh restaurants, the Trump Tower Apartments, and the trappings of the ‘executive set’.
It would be a miracle if I didn’t strangle Elaine before the night was over. It was she who had filled Alison’s head with all this stuff and nonsense.
Aside from the half-frown, half-smile, Alison was looking stunning. It had been months since she had last dressed up, and she was especially wearing the dress I’d bought her for our 5th anniversary that cost a month’s salary. On her, it was worth it, and I would have paid more if I had to. She had adored it and me, for a week or so after.
For tonight, I think I was close to getting back on that pedestal.
She had the looks and figure to draw attention, the sort movie stars get on the red carpet, and when we walked into the restaurant, I swear there were at least five seconds of silence, and many more gasps.
I even had a sudden loss of breath earlier in the evening when she came out of the dressing room. Once more, I was reminded of how lucky I was that she had agreed to marry me. Amid all those self-doubts, I couldn’t believe she had loved me when there were so many others out there who were more appealing.
Elaine was out of her seat and came over just as the Head Waiter hovered into sight. She personally escorted Alison to the table, allowing me to follow like the Queen’s consort, while she and Alison basked in the admiring glances of the other patrons.
More than once, I heard the muted question, “Who is she?”
Jimmy stood, we shook hands, and then we sat together. It was not the usual boy, girl, boy, girl seating arrangement. Jimmy and I on one side and Elaine and Alison on the other.
The battle lines were drawn.
Jimmy was looking fashionable, with a permanent blade one beard, unkempt hair, and a designer dinner suit that looked like he’d slept in it. Alison insisted I wear a tuxedo, and I looked like the proverbial penguin or just a thinner version of Alfred Hitchcock.
The bow tie had been slightly crooked, but just before we stepped out, she had straightened it. And took the moment to look deeply into my soul. It was one of those moments when words were not necessary.
Then it was gone.
I relived it briefly as I sat and she looked at me. A penetrating look that told me to ‘behave’.
When we were settled, Elaine said, in that breathless, enthusiastic manner of hers when she was excited, “So, Harry, you are finally moving up.” It was not a question, but a statement.
I was not sure what she meant by ‘finally’, but I accepted it with good grace. Sometimes, Elaine was prone to using figures of speech I didn’t understand. I guessed she was talking about the new job. “It was supposed to be a secret.”
She smiled widely. “There are no secrets between Al and me, are there, Al?”
I looked at ‘Al’ and saw a brief look of consternation.
I was not sure Alison liked the idea of being called Al. I tried it once and was admonished. But it was interesting that her ‘best friend forever’ was allowed that distinction when I was not. It was, perhaps, another indicator of how far I’d slipped in her estimation.
Perhaps, I thought, it was a necessary evil. As I understood it, the Blaines were our mentors at the Trump Tower, because they didn’t just let ‘anyone’ in. I didn’t ask if the Blaines thought we were just ‘anyone’ before I got the job offer.
And then there was that look between Alison and Elaine, quickly stolen before Alison realised I was looking at both of them. I was out of my depth, in a place I didn’t belong, with people I didn’t understand. And yet, apparently, Alison did. I must have missed the memo.
“No,” Alison said softly, stealing a glance in my direction, “No secrets between friends.”
No secrets. Her look conveyed something else entirely.
The waiter brought champagne, Krug, and poured glasses for each of us. It was not the cheap stuff, and I was glad I brought a couple of thousand dollars with me. We were going to need it.
Then, a toast.
To a new job and a new life.
“When did you decide?” Elaine was effusive at the best of times, but with the champagne, it was worse.
Alison had a strange expression on her face. It was obvious she had told Elaine it was a done deal, even before I’d made up my mind. Perhaps she’d assumed I might be ‘refreshingly honest’ in front of Elaine, but it could also mean she didn’t really care what I might say or do.
Instead of consternation, she looked happy, and I realised it would be churlish, even silly, if I made a scene. I knew what I wanted to say. I also knew that it would serve little purpose provoking Elaine or upsetting Alison. This was not the time or the place. Alison had been looking forward to coming here, and I was not going to spoil it.
Instead, I said, smiling, “When I woke up this morning and found Alison missing. If she had been there, I would not have noticed the water stain on the roof above our bed, and decided there and then how much I hated the place.” I used my reassuring smile, the one I used with the customers when all hell was breaking loose, and the forest fire was out of control. “It’s the little things. They all add up until one day …” I shrugged. “I guess that one day was today.”
I saw an incredulous look pass between Elaine and Alison, a non-verbal question; perhaps, is he for real? Or, I told you he’d come around.
I had no idea the two were so close.
“How quaint,” Elaine said, which just about summed up her feelings towards me. I think, at that moment, I lost some brownie points. It was all I could come up with at short notice.
“Yes,” I added, with a little more emphasis than I wanted. “Alison was off to get some studying in with one of her friends.”
“Weren’t the two of you off to the Hamptons, a weekend with some friends?” Jimmy piped up and immediately got the ‘shut up, you fool’ look that cut that line of conversation dead. Someone forgot to feed Jimmy his lines.
It was followed by the condescending smile from Elaine, and “I need to powder my nose. Care to join me, Al?”
A frown, then a forced smile for her new best friend. “Yes.”
I watched them leave the table and head in the direction of the restroom, looking like they were in earnest conversation. I thought ‘Al’ looked annoyed, but I could be wrong.
I had to say Jimmy looked more surprised than I did.
There was that odd moment of silence between us, Jimmy still smarting from his death stare, and for me, the Alison and Elaine show. I was quite literally gob-smacked.
I drained my champagne glass, gathering some courage and turned to him. “By the way, we were going to have a weekend away, but this legal tutorial thing came up. You know Alison is doing her law degree.”
He looked startled when he realised I had spoken. He was looking intently at a woman several tables over from us, one who’d obviously forgotten some basic garments when getting dressed. Or perhaps it was deliberate. She’d definitely had some enhancements done.
He dragged his eyes back to me. “Yes. Elaine said something or other about it. But I thought she said the tutor was out of town and it had been postponed until next week. Perhaps I got it wrong. I usually do.”
“Perhaps I’ve got it wrong.” I shrugged as the dark thoughts started swirling in my head again. “This week or next, what does it matter?”
Of course, it mattered to me, and I digested what he said with a sinking heart. It showed there was another problem between Alison and me; she might have been telling me lies. If what he said was true and I had no reason to doubt him, where was she going tomorrow morning, and had she really been with a friend studying today?
We poured some more champagne, had a drink, then he asked, “This promotion thing, what’s it worth?”
“Trouble, I suspect. Definitely more money, but less time at home.”
“Oh,” raised eyebrows. Obviously, the women had not talked about the job in front of him, or, at least, not all the details. “You sure you want to do that?”
At last, the voice of reason. “Me? No.”
“Yet you accepted the job.”
I sucked in a breath or two while I considered whether I could trust him. Even if I couldn’t, I could see my ship was sinking, so it wouldn’t matter what I told him, or what Elaine might find out from him. “Jimmy, between you and me, I haven’t as yet decided one way or another. To be honest, I won’t know until I go up to Barclay’s office and he asks me the question.”
“Barclay?”
“My boss.”
“Elaine’s doing a job for a Barclay who recently moved into the tower a block down from us. I thought I recognised the name.”
“How did Elaine get the job?”
“Oh, Alison put him onto her.”
“When?”
“A couple of months ago. Why?”
I shrugged and tried to keep a straight face, while my insides were churning up like the wake of a supertanker. I felt sick, faint, and wanted to die all at the same moment. “Perhaps she said something about it, but it didn’t connect at the time. Too busy with work, I expect. I think I seriously need to get away for a while.”
I could hardly breathe, my throat was constricted, and I knew I had to keep it together. I could see Elaine and Alison coming back, so I had to calm down. I sucked in some deep breaths and put my ‘manage a complete and utter disaster’ look on my face.
And I had to change the subject, quickly, so I said, “Jimmy, Elaine told Alison, who told me, you were something of a guru of the cause and effects of the global economic meltdown. Now, I have a couple of friends who have been expounding this theory …”
Like flicking a switch, I launched into the well-worn practice of ‘running a distraction’, like at work when we needed to keep the customer from discovering the truth. It was one of the things I was good at, taking over a conversation and pushing it in a different direction. It was salvaging a good result from an utter disaster, and if ever there was a time that it was required, it was right here, right now.
When Alison sat down and looked at me, she knew something had happened between Jimmy and me. I might have looked pale or red-faced, or angry or disappointed, but it didn’t matter. If that didn’t seal the deal for her, the fact that I took over the dining engagement did. She knew well enough that the only time I did that was when everything was about to go to hell in a handbasket. She’d seen me in action before and had been suitably astonished.
But I got into gear, kept the champagne flowing and steered the conversation, as much as one could from a seasoned professional like Elaine, and, I think, in Jimmy’s eyes, he saw the battle lines and knew who took the crown on points. Neither Elaine nor Jimmy suspected anything, and if the truth be told, I had improved my stocks with Elaine. She was at times both surprised and interested, even willing to take a back seat.
Alison, on the other hand, tried poking around the edges, and, once when Elaine and Jimmy had got up to have a cigarette outside, questioned me directly. I chose to ignore her and pretend nothing had happened, rather than tell her how much I was enjoying the evening.
She had her ‘secrets’. I had mine.
At the end of the evening, when I got up to go to the bathroom, I was physically sick from the pent-up tension and the implications of what Jimmy had told me. It took a while for me to pull myself together; so long, in fact, that Jimmy came looking for me. I told him I’d drunk too much champagne, and he seemed satisfied with that excuse. When I returned, both Alison and Elaine noticed how pale I was, but neither made any comment.
It was a sad way to end what was supposed to be a delightful evening, which, to a large degree, it was for the other three. But I had achieved what I set out to do: to play them at their own game, watching the deception once I knew there was one, as warily as a cat watches its prey.
I had also discovered Jimmy’s real calling; a professor of economics at the same University Alison was doing her law degree. It was no surprise in the end, on a night where surprises abounded, that the world could really be that small.
We parted in the early hours of the morning, a taxi whisking us back to the Lower East Side, another taking the Blaines back to the Upper West Side. But, in our case, as Alison reminded me, it would not be for much longer. She showed concern for my health and asked me what was wrong. It took all the courage I could muster to tell her it was most likely something I ate and the champagne, and that I would be fine in the morning.
She could see quite plainly it was anything other than what I told her, but she didn’t pursue it. Perhaps she just didn’t care what I was playing at.
And yet, after everything that had happened, once inside our ‘palace’, the events of the evening were discarded, like her clothing, and she again reminded me of what we had together in the early years before the problems had set in.
It left me confused and lost.
I couldn’t sleep because my mind had now gone down that irreversible path that told me I was losing her, that she had found someone else, and that our marriage was in its last death throes.
And now I knew it had something to do with Barclay.
I’m back home and this story has been sitting on a back burner for a few months, waiting for some more to be written.
The trouble is, there are also other stories to write, and I’m not very good at prioritising.
But, here we are, a few minutes opened up and it didn’t take long to get back into the groove.
Was I working for a ghost?
The question that was foremost in my mind was whether I should call Nobbin, and let him know that I’d met Severin and that his ‘information’ was on a USB.
When I’d mentioned the fact O’Connor said the evidence was somewhere, I knew this evidence was on a USB and could be in one of the hiding places O’Connor had set up with Nobbin. If not, then it had to be somewhere else, somewhere only O’Connor would know about.
Somehow, I got the impression O’Connor had not trusted either side. Yes, he was about to tell me where the evidence was, but if that was the case, it meant it was not anywhere where anyone else would know about.
Severin should have curbed his desire for execution a little, and taken O’Connor into custody, and then interrogated him. It made me wonder, briefly, why Severin would want him dead. In cases like that, it was because Severin didn’t want O’Connor to talk to me, or anyone else.
Still, he could have tranquilized O’Connor. I would not have known the difference.
That meant I had to find out more information on O’Connor.
Of course, in just saying that out loud, over a half-full glass of scotch, just to steady the nerves after seeing Severin again, made it sound almost like a running joke.
As if I would be able to find someone who was, for all intents and purposes, a ghost. That was how we were supposed to be, ghosts, to everyone we knew, including family. We could no longer talk to anyone because they might become a target used as leverage against us.
That part of my training had been the scariest. I didn’t have any friends, not real friends anyway, and no family, other than a half-brother who hated me. I had toyed with the idea of meeting him, after I’d completed the training, just to see if anyone would try to use him as leverage, and then tell them he meant nothing to me.
It was an idea, I doubt if I could do it in reality. But the thought of it gave me some measure of revenge for all the bullying he had inflicted on me when I was young. Perhaps that was why I took this job, to prove I was nothing like the person he considered me to be.
Enough of the delving into the shadowy past.
I had a problem that needed solving. How to find O’Connor.
After a long night of fitful sleep, I woke the next morning with the shreds of a plan. I’d go into the office and use their computer system to look for him. Of course, I didn’t expect that there would be any information available to an agent with my security clearance, which was basically to get in and out of the front door and log on to the computer to fill out reports and a timesheet.
It was a surprise, after what Nobbin had said about my employment, that my pass got me in the door. It did, but I had no doubt somewhere it had register my name in a log somewhere. I figured I had about half an hour before someone came checking up on me.
The same went for the computer system. There was a bank of about a dozen computers in a room where the agents could do information searches, and private work, such as reports. Three others were occupied, and none of those using them looked up when I entered the room.
Not a surprise. We were taught to keep to ourselves and say nothing about the missions we were attached to anyone else. In our line of work, secrets were paramount. We were to become consummate liars because we could never tell anyone the truth about what we did. If we wanted a cover story, we were to say we were international confidential couriers of documents for legal institutions.
It sounded interesting, but it was quite boring, or at least that was how I described it if anyone asked.
So, ignoring the others, I logged in and found I was still on the employee list. And, I still had the same level of access I had before.
I ran a search on the name O’Connor.
It came back with five documents, the first of which was his personnel record. First name, Donald. A date of birth that made him 27 years old, and an address, in Putney. I wrote it down. Marital status, single. Status, deceased. Section worked for: Eight.
There were supposedly eight sections, and the one I worked for was Seven. Out of interest, I brought up my records. It was how Severin had found me because my address was on file. But more interesting was my status, transferred, and my section, three. Was Nobbin’s section three?
I would ask if I got an opportunity to.
The other four documents were reports, most of which were redacted, or marked restricted. Or above my pay grade, whatever that was.
But, at least one thing was clear, I had not been fired, just transferred. I guess I would have to call Nobbin after all. After I visited O’Connor’s last known residence.
I wasn’t holding my breath expecting to find anything.
How many of us have skeletons in the closet that we know nothing about? The skeletons we know about generally stay there, but those we do not, well, they have a habit of coming out of left field when we least expect them.
In this case, when you see your photo on a TV screen with the accompanying text that says you are wanted by every law enforcement agency in Europe, you’re in a state of shock, only to be compounded by those same police, armed and menacing, kicking the door down.
I’d been thinking about this premise for a while after I discovered my mother had a boyfriend before she married my father, a boyfriend who was, by all accounts, the man who was the love of her life.
Then, in terms of coming up with an idea for a story, what if she had a child by him that we didn’t know about, which might mean I had a half-brother or sister I knew nothing about. It’s not an uncommon occurrence from what I’ve been researching.
There are many ways of putting a spin on this story.
Then, in the back of my mind, I remembered a story an acquaintance at work was once telling us over morning tea, that a friend of a friend had a mother who had a twin sister and that each of the sisters had a son by the same father, without each knowing of the father’s actions, both growing up without the other having any knowledge of their half brother, only to meet by accident on the other side of the world.
It was an encounter that in the scheme of things might never have happened, and each would have remained oblivious of the other.
For one sister, the relationship was over before she discovered she was pregnant, and therefore had not told the man he was a father. It was no surprise the relationship foundered when she discovered he was also having a relationship with her sister, a discovery that caused her to cut all ties with both of them and never speak to either from that day.
It’s a story with more twists and turns than a country lane!
Every time I close my eyes, I see something different.
I’d like to think the cinema of my dreams is playing a double feature but it’s a bit like a comedy cartoon night on Fox.
But these dreams are nothing to laugh about.
Once again there’s a new installment of an old feature, and we’re back on the treasure hunt.
…
In a cave, Nadia is a surprise
…
Now the helicopter had gone, the sounds of the sea had returned, along with the muffled sound of the wind which had picked up, along with swirling clouds that looked like they would be bringing rain. I’d heard how the weather could change suddenly, and dangerously along this coastline.
I saw the lightning, and a minute or so later, the cracking of thunder. We were about to get very wet.
‘Look for the big A’. It had been there, heavily underscored in Ormiston’s notebooks. It had also been on the cliff face, crudely, but there.
“We need to go,” I heard Nadia say, over the ambient noise all around us.
Her words were being swept away by the wind, and I could barely hear her.
Another glance up at the cliff to confirm what I’d seen, and, yes, it was a big A, I went over to her.
“We can’t outrun it. And it will be treacherous on those rocks in a downpour.”
“We also have the tide to contend with.”
I could see the high-water line, and it didn’t leave much to the imagination. We needed higher ground. It was one of those situations where we might get caught by the tide. It was a pity there wasn’t room for two of us on the helicopter.
Back the way we’d come I remembered seeing an outcrop that looked like it might provide shelter from the rain. “We should go, there’s a spot a way back that might save us from getting too wet.”
It was about a hundred yards, not far from where the shore rocks started and would require climbing back up. At the very least, we could stay there until the tide dropped. We collected the metal detectors and made it to the base of the rocky outcrop just as the first drops of rain fell.
The overhang I’d seen turned out to be a shallow cave, going back into the rockface about 10 yards or so, carved out by the sea over a very long period.
Then the rain came, so heavy, we could not see through it. Every few minutes a gust of wind blew water into the cave, but standing back from the entrance basically kept us dry.
Nadia sat down and looked despondent. I’d never seen her like this, she was normally more cheerful.
I took a few minutes to explore inside using the torchlight on my phone. I could see the layers of sandstone compressed over the years, and if I had remembered more from the geology part of science at school I might have been able to make sense of it. Was I hoping for fossils, like from long-extinct dinosaurs?
Or perhaps I could imagine this was the entrance to Aladdin’s cave, also reputed to have hidden treasures, and briefly wondered if I’d found a lantern with a genie, what my three wishes might be?
“They’re only walls, Sam.” Nadia had come silently up behind me, and was just behind my left shoulder, the sound of her voice so near startling me.
Also noted, when my potential heart attack passed, she called me Sam, not Smidge. I was not going to write anything into it, she didn’t seem herself.
“You never know. If I say open sesame, or whatever the password is…”
It sounded lame.
I could hear rather than see her shake her head.
“What do you think Boggs was doing climbing up or down that particular rockface, and for that matter, poking around The Grove?”
I turned around to look at her. If I didn’t know her better, I might have said there was at that moment an angelic quality about her. It only reinforced the notion that she was very much out of my league, and whatever we seemed to have going, it was more in my head than hers.
“I think you can make as educated a guess as I can.”
“He thinks the treasure is here?”
“Somewhere in The Grove, yes. His approach might have been different from ours, but the conclusion is the same.”
“We didn’t find anything.”
“That doesn’t mean it didn’t come ashore somewhere near here, or somewhere along the coast despite the reefs because they might have once been navigable in an abnormally high tide. And those coins found near the old marina tells me that they landed somewhere there, but it was not the final resting place.”
I was going to say anything was possible.
“I can assure you my father and his cronies spent years turning over this whole property, one way or another, and found nothing.”
I believed her. Had he not won the bidding war for the property, sold by the remaining Ormiston’s to settle the debts racked up by successive treasure hunts, Benderby, or anyone else for that matter, would have done the same. Everyone was aware of the obsession, and the possibility of making a fortune.
But, my money was on the fact it was in The Grove, somewhere. The question was, would I be completely honest with her?
When I didn’t say anything, she added, “you think it’s still here, don’t you?”
I shrugged. “Why else would Boggs be here? I’m sure his deductions from the resources he has, and I’m sure he hadn’t told me everything for obvious reasons, told him when all else has been eliminated, the last possibility however improbable must be true.”
“Occam’s razor?”
“Ish. When we can get back to the cabin, I’ll go and see him, see what he has to say. If he wants to see me, that is.”
I could see her processing what I just said, and thought perhaps I could have said it better.
“He doesn’t trust you because of me?”
Again I shrugged. “I got that impression when I last spoke to him. I don’t think he quite understands the nature of our friendship. I’m assuming that’s what it is because I’m hardly the sort of boy your parents would consider suitable for you.”
“My parents have no idea what I want or care about. It’s why I left.”
“Why did you come back then?”
“My mother said she had cancer and wasn’t expected to live.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was a lie. Their whole life is a lie. I’ve always known about the family, I just chose to ignore it, even bask in some of the glory of it, until it got a friend of mine killed. Vince did it, I know he did, but they all lied. It’s just one of many reasons I wanted to getaway. I was going to go back to Italy until you popped up. I always liked you, you know.”
I didn’t. I thought I was just another pawn in a game of terror and ridicule she played on all of us boys.
“You had a funny way of showing it.”
“I was stupid back then, but that was no excuse. If it’s any consolation I’m sorry, but words never seem to be enough, and besides that, no one I’ve apologized to really believes me, and I get it. My name is a curse. That’s why when I go back I’m going to disappear, a whole change of identity. That’s how much I trust you, Sam, you’re the only one I’ve told.”
“You shouldn’t tell me anything. I’m sure if you disappear, I’ll be the first one your family will come after.”
I didn’t need to know, I certainly didn’t want to know. If she did disappear, I’m sure my doorstep would be the Cossatino’s first stop, and I’d easily fold under pressure.
“Maybe you could come with me, then you wouldn’t have to worry about them.”
Perhaps she could read my mind. Even so, it was an interesting thought, not that I could just up and leave my mother, or worry the Cossatino’s would come after her if I went missing.
“I don’t speak Italian.” Lame excuse.
“I could teach you. We could work in the vineyard, and live a simple life.”
It was hard to tell if she was serious or not. I had to think she wasn’t. I don’t think I could handle someone like her, that anyone could.
An invitation that sounds so innocuous, doesn’t it?
As accomplished as we can be at putting words on paper, what is it that makes it so difficult to sit in a chair with a camera on you, and saying words rather than writing them?
Er and um seem to crop up a lot in verbal speech.
OK, it was a simple question; “What motivates you to write?”
Damn.
My brain just turned to mush, and the words come out sounding like a drunken sailor after a night out on the town.
The written answer to the question is simple; “The idea that someone will read what I have written, and quite possibly enjoy it; that is motivation enough.”
It highlights the difficulties of the novice author.
Not only are there the constant demands of creating a ‘brand’ and building a ‘following’, but there is also the need to market oneself, and the interview is one of the more effective ways of doing this.
If only I can settle the nerves.
I mean, really, it is only my granddaughter who is conducting the interview, and the questions are relatively simple.
The trouble is, I’ve never had to do it before, well, perhaps in an interview for a job, but that is less daunting. Those usually stick to a predefined format.
Here the narrative can go in any direction. There are set questions, but the interviewer, in her inimitable manner, can sometimes slide a question in out of left field.
For instance, “Your character Zoe the assassin, is she based on someone you know, or an amalgam of other characters you’ve read about or seen in movies?”
That was an interesting question, and one that has several answers, but the one most relevant was; “It was the secret alter ego of one of the women I used to work with. I asked her one day if she wasn’t doing what she was, what she would like to do. And, surprisingly, I thought she would have made an excellent assassin, the last person you would expect.”
Of course, the next question was about what I wanted to be in an alter ego.
The Fear You Feel When You Write, It’s Normal: Embracing the Wisdom of Marguerite Duras
Every writer knows the moment.
The cursor blinks relentlessly on a blank, stark-white screen. The room is quiet, perhaps too quiet. Your chest tightens, a familiar knot twists in your stomach, and a voice whispers: This is terrible. Who do you think you are? You have nothing to say.
If you have ever felt this paralysing wave of anxiety before putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), take a deep breath. You are not failing as a writer; you are simply doing the work.
As the legendary French novelist and filmmaker Marguerite Duras famously observed, the fear you feel when you write is not a sign to stop. It is normal.
Let’s unpack this profound truth and explore why fear is actually the secret companion of every great writer.
Who Was Marguerite Duras and Why Did She Understand Writing’s Terror?
Marguerite Duras was a literary force of nature. Best known for her autobiographical novel The Lover (which won the prestigious Prix Goncourt), Duras wrote with a raw, uncompromising intensity that cut straight to the human soul. She didn’t write polite stories; she wrote about obsession, desire, memory, and the dark corners of the human psyche.
Because she mined such deep, vulnerable territory, Duras understood the cost of creation. She knew that to write authentically, one must court vulnerability. And vulnerability is terrifying.
Duras famously spoke about the solitude and the terror of the writing life. She suggested that writing is not a gentle hobby or a neat profession; it is an expedition into the unknown. When you sit down to write, you are venturing into a territory that does not yet exist, dragging ideas out of the ether and forcing them into reality. Of course it’s scary.
Why Does Writing Actually Scare Us?
If we want to overcome writing anxiety, we first have to understand its roots. Why does a harmless activity like arranging words on a page trigger a fight-or-flight response?
1. The Gap Between Taste and Talent
As Ira Glass famously noted, beginners (and even seasoned pros) suffer from a cruel paradox: our taste is refined enough to know when something isn’t working, but our execution often falls short of our vision. That gap—between the masterpiece in your head and the messy draft on your screen—is where fear lives.
2. The Fear of Exposure
Writing is an act of self-revelation. Even in fiction or copywriting, your worldview, your obsessions, and your fears bleed onto the page. To share your writing with the world is to stand naked in public. What if they judge you? What if they misunderstand you? What if they simply don’t care?
3. Confronting the Unknown
Unlike math or accounting, writing doesn’t have a definitive formula. When you start a piece, you rarely know exactly where it will end. You are stepping into a fog, trusting that the path will appear as you walk it. The human brain hates uncertainty, and it interprets that blank page as a survival threat.
How to Make Friends with Your Writing Fear
If fear is a normal, permanent resident of the writer’s house, how do we coexist with it? How do we write through the terror instead of running away from it?
1. Stop Waiting to Feel Confident
Many aspiring writers make the fatal mistake of waiting for the fear to go away before they start writing. They wait for inspiration, for the “right mood,” or for unshakeable confidence.
It never comes.
Professional writers don’t feel less fear than amateurs; they simply’ve learned to act in spite of it. As Duras understood, the fear is part of the process. Expect it. Greet it when you sit down at your desk: Ah, hello anxiety, I see you’re here. Let’s write anyway.
2. Lower the Stakes (Lower the Bar)
Perfectionism is fear in a fancy tuxedo. We get terrified because we put immense pressure on every single sentence to be brilliant.
Give yourself permission to write badly. As legendary humorist James Thurber put it: “Don’t get it right, get it written.” Your first draft is merely you telling the story to yourself. No one else has to see the mess.
3. Lean Into the Discomfort
If you feel a little sick to your stomach or nervous about a passage you are writing, pay attention. That discomfort is often a compass pointing directly toward truth. If a sentence makes you squirm, it usually means you’re touching on something real, raw, and powerful. Lean into it.
The Ultimate Takeaway
Writing is an act of courage. Every time you face the blank page and refuse to look away, you are engaging in a brave act of creation.
The next time that familiar knot forms in your stomach, remember the words and the spirit of Marguerite Duras. Remind yourself that the fear doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong; it means you’re doing it right. It means you care. It means you are treading on sacred, uncharted ground.
So, feel the fear. Acknowledge it. And then, open your document and type that first sentence anyway.
Are you struggling with writer’s block or creative fear? How do you push past the blank page anxiety? Let’s discuss in the comments below!
Rabat’s Secret Side: 5 Distinctive Attractions to Escape the Crowds
When you think of Rabat, Morocco’s elegant capital, images of the iconic blue-and-white walls of the Kasbah of the Udayas or the grand silhouette of the Hassan Tower likely come to mind. And for good reason—they’re breathtaking.
But the true magic of a city often lies just beyond the postcard-perfect sights. It’s found in the quiet corners, the local haunts, and the places where the city’s pulse beats a little softer. If you’re yearning to experience the distinctive soul of Rabat without the jostle of tour groups, you’re in for a treat.
Here are five remarkable, uncrowded attractions that will show you a completely different side of this imperial city.
1. The Ancient Whispers of Chellah Necropolis
What it is: A serene, sprawling archaeological site on the outskirts of the city that feels like a world away. Chellah is a captivating fusion of history, built upon the ruins of an ancient Roman town and later transformed into a fortified medieval necropolis.
Why it’s distinctive: This isn’t just one ruin; it’s a layered tapestry of time. You can walk along ancient Roman roads, touch the weathered stones of a forum, and then explore the hauntingly beautiful ruins of a 14th-century Islamic mosque with its elegant minaret. The real stars of the show, however, are the storks. Large stork nests perch precariously atop the ruins, and their constant clacking fills the air with a wild, primitive soundtrack you won’t find anywhere else.
Why it’s not crowded: Its location, a short walk or taxi ride from the main medina, naturally filters out the casual tourist. The sheer size of the site means that even on a busy day, you can easily find a quiet corner to yourself.
Pro Tip: Visit in the late afternoon. The golden hour light casts a magical glow on the stone, and the sighing of the wind through the cypress trees makes the whole place feel truly bewitching.
2. The Botanical Wonderland: Exotic Gardens of Bouknadel
What it is: A breathtaking 17-acre botanical garden nestled between Rabat and Salé, designed in the 1950s by French landscape architect Jean-Claude Nicolas Forestier.
Why it’s distinctive: This is more than just a garden; it’s a masterclass in design. A labyrinth of paths winds through distinct zones, from an Islamic-style garden with a reflective pool to a cactus-studded desert landscape and a lush, palm-filled jungle. The garden is famous for its “Grotto Café,” a cool, subterranean restaurant built into a cave—a perfect spot for a mint tea break. It’s a tranquil, beautifully curated escape.
Why it’s not crowded: It requires a dedicated trip, so it’s often missed by those on a tight schedule. It’s a beloved spot for locals but rarely, if ever, overrun with tourists.
Pro Tip: Take your time. Don’t just look for the plants; listen for the birds. The garden is an important bird sanctuary, so bring a little patience, and you might be rewarded with some wonderful sightings.
3. An Architectural Marvel: The National Library of the Kingdom of Morocco
What it is: A stunningly modern structure that stands in stark, beautiful contrast to Rabat’s ancient history. The new building, opened in 2022, is a cultural landmark and a haven of tranquillity.
Why it’s distinctive: The architecture itself is the main event. A series of hexagonal modules create a visually striking facade inspired by traditional Moroccan geometric patterns (zellij). Inside, you’ll find a vast, light-filled reading room that feels like a cathedral of books. It’s a place where Morocco’s rich literary heritage meets cutting-edge design. You don’t need to be a researcher to appreciate the sense of peace and intellectual energy.
Why it’s not crowded: For a tourist, a library is an unconventional choice. You’ll share the space mostly with students and locals, making for an authentically peaceful and modern Moroccan experience.
Pro Tip: You can enter the public areas to admire the architecture. Check their website for visitor access policies, and be sure to walk up to the upper levels for the best view of the main reading hall.
4. A Timeless View from the Moorish Café (Café Maure)
What it is: A simple, historic café perched on a cliffside overlooking the Atlantic Ocean and the mouth of the Bou Regreg river. It has been serving tea and coffee since the early 20th century.
Why it’s distinctive: This is an experience, not just a beverage. The café offers what is arguably the single best panoramic view in Rabat. From its terrace, you can see the kasbah, the ocean, the Hassan Tower, and the city of Salé. The interior is a time capsule, with worn wooden benches and tables, and the air is thick with the scent of mint and history. The sound of crashing waves and the call to prayer drifting across the river is unforgettable.
Why it’s not crowded: While it’s well-known to residents, its simplicity deters the large tour bus crowds. It’s a place for lingering with a book or a friend, not for a quick photo stop.
Pro Tip: Go in the late afternoon and order a thé à la menthe (mint tea). There’s nothing quite like sipping the sweet, steaming tea while watching the sun dip towards the horizon.
5. The Treasure Trove: The Archaeological Museum
What it is: A compact, beautifully curated museum that houses some of Morocco’s most important archaeological finds.
Why it’s distinctive: While many museums attempt to do everything, this one has a focused, world-class collection. Its crown jewels are the incredible bronze artifacts from the Roman site of Volubilis, including a stunning portrait of Cato the Younger. The displays are excellent, providing a deep dive into the pre-Islamic cultures—from prehistoric to Roman—that shaped this land. It’s a quiet, scholarly space that tells a fascinating story often overlooked in the bustling medinas.
Why it’s not crowded: Let’s be honest: most tourists come for the souks and the sights, not the museums. This means you can often have entire rooms to yourself, allowing you to appreciate the incredible artifacts without distraction.
Pro Tip: The museum is right next to the Andalusian Gardens. Visit the gardens early when they’re quietest, and then escape into the cool, calm halls of the museum to escape the midday sun.
Ready to Discover Rabat’s Soul?
Rabat rewards the curious traveller. By stepping just a little off the main path, you’ll find a city of serene gardens, ancient echoes, and modern marvels. These five spots are just a starting point—a key to a quieter, more personal Moroccan experience.
Have you been to Rabat and discovered a hidden gem of your own? Share it in the comments below! We’d love to hear your secret spots.
It would be very interesting if duelling was still allowed. There are a few people I’d like to stand toe to toe with, take ten paces, and then test my ability to shoot with an old-style flint duelling pistol.
What’s this got to do with anything?
It’s where our word of the day comes in. If I lose my nerve, or I know my opposite number is a better shot, my second would have to stand in my place.
It’s, if anything, an older use of the word.
Of course, it mainly means, on one hand, coming second in a race or a competition, not exactly the place you really want to be, simply because no one really remembers who came second.
It plays host to a plethora of statements using second as part of the saying, such as,
Second rate, second hand, even if it had more than one owner, second best.
But then there’s a few more that mean something else like a second look, mainly because you didn’t trust your eyes, second nature, it’s been drilled into you (a rather painful idiom if it truly was) and second sight, though this might not necessarily be a verifiable attribute.
And, of lesser note, I’m not necessarily sure I’m second to none.
On the other hand, and pardon the pun using this definition, it also describes a length of time, very short in fact, and it takes 60 of them to make a minute.
Hang on, it’ll only take a second. Yes, we often use the word in vain. I doubt there is any one of us who could do anything useful in a second.
Nairobi’s Hidden Gems: 5 Incredible Attractions Without the Crowds
When you think of Nairobi, the mind often leaps to the iconic sights: the silhouettes of giraffes at the Giraffe Centre, the heart-warming sight of orphaned elephants at the Sheldrick Trust, or the breathtaking skyline viewed from a safari in Nairobi National Park.
And for good reason—these are world-class attractions. But they are also, well, popular. If you’re looking to swap the bustling queues for a more intimate, unique, and equally memorable experience, you’re in luck. Nairobi is a city of layers, and just beneath the surface of the main tourist trail lies a treasure trove of hidden gems.
Here are the top five visitor attractions in Nairobi that are rarely crowded but burst with distinctive character and unforgettable stories.
1. The Kenya National Archives: A Treasure Trove of Culture and History
Tucked away in a grand building right in the heart of the city’s central business district, the Kenya National Archives is one of Nairobi’s most-underestimated attractions. While the ground floor is a bustling hive of document services, head upstairs and step into another world.
What Makes It Distinctive: The second floor houses the incredible Murumbi African Heritage Collection. This is a jaw-dropping assortment of artifacts, ethnographic material, books, and art collected by Kenya’s second Vice President, Joseph Murumbi, and his wife, Sheila. From ancient tribal jewelry and textiles to intricate masks and powerful contemporary art, it’s a comprehensive and beautifully curated journey through the art and culture of Kenya and beyond.
Why It’s Not Crowded: Most tourists walk right past it, assuming it’s just a place for official records. It’s a serene, air-conditioned escape from the city heat where you can spend hours lost in the exhibits, often sharing the space with just a handful of local students.
Pro-Tip: Give yourself at least two hours. Don’t miss the stunning collection of African postage stamps or the powerful portraits in the art gallery. The entrance fee is a bargain for the sheer volume of world-class history on display.
2. The Nairobi Railway Museum: A Journey to the City’s Birth
Ever wondered why Nairobi exists in the first place? The answer lies on the tracks. The Nairobi Railway Museum, located right next to the main railway station, is a charming and nostalgic ode to the “Lunatic Express,” the railway line that gave birth to the city.
What Makes It Distinctive: This museum is an open-air gallery of majestic, rusting giants. You can climb aboard historic steam and diesel locomotives, explore royal carriages (including one used for Queen Elizabeth’s visit!), and delve into the fascinating, and often dramatic, history of the railway’s construction. It’s a tangible link to a bygone era of colonial ambition, engineering marvels, and the man-eating lions of Tsavo.
Why It’s Not Crowded: In a city obsessed with wildlife, the history of a railway is often overlooked. It feels like a well-kept secret, offering a peaceful and fascinating stroll through the very machines that shaped the nation.
Pro-Tip: Hire one of the on-site guides. Their personal stories and detailed knowledge bring the old engines and carriages to life in a way that plaques never could. On weekdays, you might even see modern trains rolling past, creating a surreal contrast between past and present.
3. Kazuri Beads Factory: Where Art and Empowerment Meet
For a truly special souvenir and a feel-good experience, leave the city centre and head to the leafy suburb of Karen for a visit to the Kazuri Beads Factory. “Kazuri” means “small and beautiful” in Swahili, and that perfectly describes the handcrafted ceramic beads and pottery made here.
What Makes It Distinctive: This isn’t just a shop; it’s a working factory with a powerful social mission. Kazuri employs over 300 single mothers, providing them with a sustainable livelihood and healthcare. You can take a free tour to see the entire process—from the kiln firing to the meticulous hand-painting—and chat with the talented artisans. It’s a vibrant, colourful, and inspiring place that supports local Kenyan women directly.
Why It’s Not Crowded: It’s slightly off the beaten path compared to the Karen Blixen Museum down the road. Tour groups tend to rush in and out, leaving plenty of space for independent travellers to browse at their own pace without feeling pressured.
Pro-Tip: Go in the morning to see the factory buzzing with activity. The “seconds” section, where you can buy slightly imperfect pieces at a huge discount, is fantastic for finding unique treasures.
4. The Ngong Hills: Nairobi’s Iconic Escape
While the Nairobi National Park offers a safari on the city’s doorstep, the Ngong Hills offer a spectacular escape above it. These iconic, four-ridged peaks are the rolling, green giants immortalised in Karen Blixen’s “Out of Africa.”
What Makes It Distinctive: The views are, simply put, epic. On a clear day, you can see the entire Nairobi skyline to the north and the vast expanse of the Great Rift Valley to the west. A hike along the ridges is a fantastic way to get some exercise, feel the wind on your face, and appreciate the natural beauty that frames the city. It’s a spiritual and rejuvenating experience.
Why It’s Not Crowded: While it gets busy with local hikers and picnickers on weekends, you’ll rarely find international tour buses here. Go on a weekday, and you might have large sections of the trail entirely to yourself, with only the sound of the wind for company.
Pro-Tip: Start early in the morning to avoid the midday sun. It’s an exposed hike, so bring plenty of water, a hat, and sunscreen. You don’t need a guide for the main trail, but hiring one from the local community at the entrance gate can provide fascinating insights and support the local economy.
5. Olorgesailie Prehistoric Site: A Glimpse into Human Origins
For the ultimate off-the-beaten-path adventure, take a day trip south of the city to Olorgesailie. This is not your average tourist attraction; it’s a world-class, paleoanthropological site and a UNESCO World Heritage contender.
What Makes It Distinctive: This dry, dusty basin was once a lakeside prehistoric camp. The ground is literally littered with fossilised bones and, most astoundingly, hundreds of hand-axe tools created by early human ancestors (Homo erectus) over a million years ago. The small, excellent museum and guided walk take you through the incredible discoveries made here, offering a mind-bending perspective on the deep history of humanity in the very place it unfolded.
Why It’s Not Crowded: It’s a drive (about 90 minutes from Nairobi) and requires a dedicated trip. This geological and historical marvel is simply too remote and niche for the standard tourist itinerary, making it one of the most peaceful and profound places you can visit in the region.
Pro-Tip: A 4×4 vehicle is recommended, especially after rain. Combine the trip with a visit to Lake Magadi, a spectacular soda lake often tinged pink with flamingos. Pack a picnic and make a full day of it—the journey is as spectacular as the destination.
So next time you find yourself in Nairobi, I urge you to venture beyond the well-trodden path. Ditch the crowds for a morning at the Railway Museum, find your cultural bearings at the National Archives, and discover that the city’s most distinctive features are often its quietest. Happy travels
Thrills, Spills, and just a dash of Romance 