I hate Christmas
I hate shopping
Could there be a worse time to do the one thing that drives you bonkers?
Perhaps there is, but never a time when so many people are wandering aimlessly around looking for stuff that no one really needs.
And in the process, trash the shelves, and leave the store in such a mess that anyone who thinks shopping in the afternoon is a good idea, is left with little more than a dumpster dive.
Christmas shoppers are a very distinctive breed. First identified but the stultified manner in which they shuffle along the mall walkways, stopping to look vacantly at the wares in the windows, unable to figure out whether the sizes would fit their victims, sorry, giftees.
Or whether the sheer unadulterated inappropriateness would work, because we all know many of the gifts we receive are unwanted and even if they had a degree of acceptability, it was the wrong size, the wrong colour, for a different age group, or needs batteries.
It’s called grandparents revenge.
As for parents gifting their children as a surprise, well it’s a well-known fact they don’t have a clue about the younger generation and what they want.
We made a conscious decision years ago to only buy what the children wanted, no surprises, unfortunately, but never getting it wrong makes it worthwhile.
Of course, what the children want is something else and it took us a while to realise they were using us to buy stuff their parents had strictly banned. Yes, interesting lesson learned.
It only proved how desperately out of touch each generation is with the one below, and worse for those two generations adrift.
Two items of special note, are the number of parents who go shopping with their children, and the level of blackmail used to get their best behaviour, that overused phrase, ‘misbehave and you’re getting nothing for Christmas’ flogged mercilessly to death.
The other is the number of unwilling spouses who would prefer to mind six rotten little kids than brave the dumpster shelves, or worse, the endless racks of clothes that would be more suited to cleaning the house rather than being worn.
I say this out of experience, because in my day girls’ clothing did not have large chinks of material missing or whole swaths of exposed skin
I’ll be leaving the Christmas shopping to someone else from now on.