It’s been a while since I looked at this story, and after reading the start through each iteration, it always seems the case that I’m never quite satisfied.
That said, I decided to come at it from a different direction. It might not be better, but it might provide a different perspective, and lead to a more polished start in the next iteration.
Certainly this time, there are more words, and a totally different start. It was needed bcause we need to get a little insight into the main character, just before the action starts.
We now put the main character into his environment, the fact weather is going to play a part, as well as the mind set at a time where he will be distracted – emd of night shift, tired, and it’s very cold.
My next shift was Sunday night, and when I arrived, the usual crew were not there, replaced by two new people in fresh uniforms. I hadn’t heard what the police had discovered, but it looked like it had been the two other guards I’d worked with since I started. It might have been a simple rotation, my first thought until I got the phone call.
“You’re in charge,” Denvers, the owner of the company, said, recognising my voice.
“Where’s Rowdy and Fergus?”
“New location. You’re it. Break in the new guards, show them the routine.”
“What did the cops say about the incident?”
“You don;t need to worry about that. Just do your job, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Got it?”
He hung up before I could asked if the extra responsibility got a pay increase.
I hung up the phone and went into the kitchen where the two were sitting at the table, drinking coffee.
“OK. Seems I’ve been put in charge. It means I’ll be doing your induction, and then I’ll show you the job. It’s not hard.”
It had snowed all night, and when it came time to leave, I anticipated having to dig my way out. Earlier snowfalls had backed up, and between the building and the carpark, mountains of snow had grown taller, but the pathway had remained relatively clear.
It wasn’t dark, but there was an errie sort of twilight adter sawn had broken, and the day wasn’t going to get any better. Light snow was falling, and the car park and beyond had all but disappeared behind a cloak of white.
Also, it was cold, well below zero, and the only saving grace was there was no wind. That would probably come later as the forecast was for more snow and possibly sleet.
I pulled the hood to my parka over my head and headed for the car park, picking my way along the path slowly and carefully, because under the new layer of snow it would be icy and slippery, and I’d learned the hard way what it felt like to end up on the ground.
And that being the case, something bad had to happen.
© Charles Heath 2020-2021