Tag: Writing

“The Things we do for Love”, the story behind the story

This story has been ongoing since I was seventeen, and just to let you know, I’m 72 this year.

Yes, it’s taken a long time to get it done.

Why, you might ask.

Well, I never gave it much interest because I started writing it after a small incident when I was 17, and working as a book packer for a book distributor in Melbourne

At the end of my first year, at Christmas, the employer had a Christmas party, and that year, it was at a venue in St Kilda.

I wasn’t going to go because at that age, I was an ordinary boy who was very introverted and basically scared of his own shadow and terrified by girls.

Back then, I would cross the street to avoid them

Also, other members of the staff in the shipping department were rough and ready types who were not backwards in telling me what happened, and being naive, perhaps they knew I’d be either shocked or intrigued.

I was both adamant I wasn’t coming and then got roped in on a dare.

Damn!

So, back then, in the early 70s, people looked the other way when it came to drinking, and of course, Dutch courage always takes away the concerns, especially when normally you wouldn’t do half the stuff you wouldn’t in a million years

I made it to the end, not as drunk and stupid as I thought I might be, and St Kilda being a salacious place if you knew where to look, my new friends decided to give me a surprise.

It didn’t take long to realise these men were ‘men about town’ as they kept saying, and we went on an odyssey.  Yes, those backstreet brothels where one could, I was told, have anything they could imagine.

Let me tell you, large quantities of alcohol and imagination were a very bad mix.

So, the odyssey in ‘The things we do’ was based on that, and then the encounter with Diana. Well, let’s just say I learned a great deal about girls that night.

Firstly, not all girls are nasty and spiteful, which seemed to be the case whenever I met one. There was a way to approach, greet, talk to, and behave.

It was also true that I could have had anything I wanted, but I decided what was in my imagination could stay there.  She was amused that all I wanted was to talk, but it was my money, and I could spend it how I liked.

And like any 17-year-old naive fool, I fell in love with her and had all these foolish notions.  Months later, I went back, but she had moved on, to where no one was saying or knew.

Needless to say, I was heartbroken and had to get over that first loss, which, like any 17-year-old, was like the end of the world.

But it was the best hour I’d ever spent in my life and would remain so until I met the woman I have been married to for the last 48 years.

As Henry, he was in part based on a rebel, the son of rich parents who despised them and their wealth, and he used to regale anyone who would listen about how they had messed up his life

If only I’d come from such a background!

And yes, I was only a run away from climbing up the stairs to get on board a ship, acting as a purser.

I worked for a shipping company and they gave their junior staff members an opportunity to spend a year at sea working as a purser on a cargo ship that sailed between Melbourne, Sydney and Hobart in Australia.

One of the other junior staff members’ turn came, and I would visit him on board when he would tell me stories about life on board, the officers, the crew, and other events. These stories, which sounded incredible to someone so impressionable, were a delight to hear.

Alas, by that time, I had tired of office work and moved on to be a tradesman at the place where my father worked.

It proved to be the right move, as that is where I met my wife.  Diana had been right; love would find me when I least expected it.

…

lovecoverfinal1

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 127

Day 127 – Stop waiting to write

…

The Myth of the Perfect Moment: Why You Should Stop Waiting to Write

“A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a work on paper.” — E.B. White

We’ve all been there. You have the laptop open, a fresh cup of coffee, and a quiet house. But then, the lighting isn’t quite right. Or you’re feeling a bit sluggish. Or perhaps you’re waiting for that “divine spark” of inspiration that feels like it’s perpetually stuck in traffic.

We tell ourselves that we are just preserving our creative energy for a moment where we can be our “best selves.” But as E.B. White famously pointed out, that elusive “ideal condition” is a trap. If you wait for the stars to align, you’ll be waiting forever.

The Perfectionism Paradox

The desire for the perfect environment is rarely about comfort; it’s about fear. Writing is an act of vulnerability. When we wait for the perfect conditions, we are engaging in a subtle form of procrastination. By convincing ourselves that we can’t write because the conditions aren’t right, we protect ourselves from the possibility of writing something bad.

But here is the truth that every professional writer discovers eventually: The work is not found in the perfect moment; it is found in the discipline of the messy, imperfect ones.

The Reality of the “Working” Writer

If you look at the history of literature, you’ll find that the greatest works were rarely written in ivory towers or secluded, idyllic retreats.

  • Maya Angelou famously rented cheap hotel rooms to force herself to focus, often stripping the rooms of any distractions to face the blank page.
  • Franz Kafka wrote late at night, exhausted after his day job at an insurance company.
  • Countless parents have written their masterpieces in fifteen-minute increments during nap times or at kitchen tables while dinner bubbled on the stove.

These writers didn’t wait for the world to stop spinning so they could write. They carved out space within a spinning world. They understood that writing is labour, not a luxury.

How to Kill the “Ideal Conditions” Habit

If you find yourself paralysed by the need for perfection, it’s time to break the cycle. Here are three ways to stop waiting and start creating:

1. Lower the Bar: Give yourself permission to write “badly.” The goal of a first draft isn’t to be brilliant; it’s to exist. You can’t edit a blank page, but you can always fix a draft that is already written.

2. Create Rituals, Not Requirements. Instead of needing total silence, perfect temperature, and a specific mood, build a “trigger” that tells your brain it’s time to work. It could be putting on a specific pair of noise-cancelling headphones or playing the same three songs on repeat. These rituals are portable; you can take them anywhere.

3. Embrace the “Micro-Session” Stop waiting for a four-hour block of uninterrupted time. If you have ten minutes before a meeting or while waiting for a laundry cycle to finish, write. Those small pockets of time add up to pages, and pages add up to a book.

The Bottom Line

E.B. White’s warning is a call to arms for every aspiring creator. Your life is not going to pause to accommodate your art. Silence will be broken by sirens; inspiration will be interrupted by laundry; your mood will fluctuate from high to low.

The “ideal conditions” you are waiting for are a ghost. Don’t let your legacy be a pile of unwritten ideas. Write now, write messy, and write anyway. The world doesn’t need your perfection; it needs your voice.

What I learned about writing – Trunk stories – those stories you never seem to finish

Yes, the ones that end up in a dark corner of the writing room, if you have one, simply because the ideas ran out, or the next move wasn’t clear.

I have stories like that, quite a few actually, and every now and then I rummage, find one, and make the centre of my next NaNoWriMo project. And since NaNoWriMo comes around twice a year, it means two have done stories come in from the cold.

But, this idea of picking up a story you wrote a long while ago but never finished, mainly because something was missing, is a good one, and recently, while I was away, and trying not to work on a new project I found this story I wrote about thirty years ago, and actually did get to the end, but it wasn’t the end I wanted.

So, each night I read a few chapters and made notes.

Then, at the end of the story, I could see what the problem was; it needed to have closure with another event that was overshadowing the life of the protagonist. I had at some point written in a new character and hadn’t quite got the details right.

There was a hint of a resolution at the end, but it had been hastily put together, or if I knew myself back then, I had written the end long before I got to it, and failed to maintain the plotlines to support it.

Or maybe it just meant that the story had been running around inside my head for the intervening thirty years and now I knew what to write, or how I was going to get to that end.

It needed a lot of rewriting, and in the end, it virtually ends up as two stories, related but independent of each other.

Yes, I have piles of trunk stories, and yes, I do go back a little earlier than thirty years, and yes, some of them become projects that are completed to the first or second draft.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 126

Day 126 – The ‘we need a plan, and not enough time’ scenario

…

The Parkinson’s Paradox: Why You Need to Fake a Deadline to Actually Start Writing

If you gave a writer an entire year to finish a novel, they wouldn’t produce a masterpiece. They would produce a year’s worth of frantic, last-minute scribbling—preceded by eleven months of intense research into the mating habits of Victorian earthworms and the tactical evolution of the 1920s cheese grater.

It’s the writer’s curse: Parkinson’s Law.

The law states that work expands to fill the time available for its completion. If you have all the time in the world, the task becomes bloated, abstract, and paralyzingly heavy. We don’t write because we have time; we write because we have run out of it.

But what happens when the deadline is invisible? What do you do when you are your own boss, your own editor, and your own project manager? If you’re waiting for the “perfect moment” or the “clear schedule” to start your work, you are waiting for a ghost.

To produce, you must manufacture urgency. You have to trick your brain into believing the ship is sinking. Here is how to create an artificial “plan and not enough time” scenario to force your creativity into the light.

1. The “Public Humiliation” Pact

Nothing creates a sense of scarcity like the fear of looking incompetent. Put your money—or your pride—where your mouth is. Use a site like StickK or simply text a friend: “If I don’t send you 500 words by 5:00 PM today, I am Venmoing you $50.”

When the stakes move from “I’d like to do this” to “I am losing actual currency,” your brain stops dilly-dallying and starts typing.

2. The “Short Window” Sprint (The Pomodoro on Steroids)

We often procrastinate because the task feels infinite. To fix this, trap yourself in a corner. Tell yourself: I am going to work for exactly 45 minutes. When the timer hits zero, I am closing the laptop, regardless of whether I finished the sentence.

By creating an artificial endpoint, you turn writing into a sprint rather than a marathon. You no longer have the “luxury” of overthinking that paragraph structure because you only have six minutes left to get it down.

3. The “Accountability Partner” Ambush

Schedule a meeting or a check-in with someone before the work is actually ready. If you tell an editor or a writing buddy, “I’ll have the draft sent over by Thursday at lunch,” you have created an external deadline.

The pressure isn’t just about finishing; it’s about showing up. When you know someone is waiting for your email, the temptation to surf the internet loses its lustre.

4. The “Zero-Draft” Rule

Part of the reason we procrastinate is that we treat every writing session like a final draft. We edit as we go, which kills our momentum.

Instead, force an artificial “time crunch” by committing to a Zero Draft. Tell yourself you have to finish the entire piece in one sitting because “you’re leaving for the airport” (or whatever metaphor works for you). This forces you to ignore the inner critic and focus entirely on velocity. You can fix the typos later; you can’t fix a blank page.

The Bottom Line

Creativity thrives on constraints. When you have all the time in the world, you have no incentive to be decisive.

Stop waiting for the right moment. The right moment is a myth. The “perfect time” is an illusion that keeps you trapped in the cycle of research, surfing, and doodling. Stop playing the long game. Create a trap, set a timer, and make yourself run out of time.

You’ll find that when your back is against the wall, you don’t just write—you soar.

…

Searching for locations: From Zhengzhou to Suzhou by train, and the Snowy Sea Hotel, Suzhou, China

For the first time on this trip, we encounter problems with Chinese officialdom at the railway station, though we were warned that this might occur.

We had a major problem with the security staff when they pulled everyone over with aerosols and confiscated them. We lost styling mousse, others lost hair spray, and the men, their shaving cream.  But, to her credit, the tour guide did warn us they were stricter here, but her suggestion to be angry they were taking our stuff was probably not the right thing to do.

As with previous train bookings, the Chinese method of placing people in seats didn’t quite manage to keep couples traveling together, together on the train.  It was an odd peculiarity which few of the passengers understood, nor did they conform, swapping seat allocations.

This train ride did not seem the same as the last two and I don’t think we had the same type of high-speed train type that we had for the last two.  The carriages were different, there was only one toilet per carriage, and I don’t think we were going as fast.

But aside from that, we had 753 kilometers to travel with six stops before ours, two of which were very large cities, and then our stop, about four and a half hours later.  With two minutes this time, to get the baggage off the team managed it in 40 seconds, a new record.

After slight disorientation getting off the train, we locate our guide, easily found by looking for the Trip-A-Deal flag.  From there it’s a matter of getting into our respective groups and finding the bus.

As usual, the trip to the hotel was a long one, but we were traveling through a much brighter, and well lit, city.

As for our guide, we have him from now until the end of the tour.  There are no more train rides, we will be taking the bus from city to city until we reach Shanghai.  Good thing then that the bus is brand new, with that new car smell.  Only issue, no USB charging point.

The Snowy Sea hotel.  

It is finally a joy to get a room that is nothing short of great.  It has a bathroom and thus privacy.

Everyone had to go find a supermarket to purchase replacements for the confiscated items.  Luckily there was a huge supermarket just up from the hotel that had everything but the kitchen sink.

But, unlike where we live, the carpark is more of a scooter park!

It is also a small microcosm of Chinese life for the new more capitalistic oriented Chinese.

The next morning we get some idea of the scope of high-density living, though here, the buildings are not 30 stories tall, but still just as impressive.

These look like the medium density houses, but to the right of these are much larger buildings

The remarkable thing about this is those buildings stretch as far as the eye can see.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 126

Day 126 – The ‘we need a plan, and not enough time’ scenario

…

The Parkinson’s Paradox: Why You Need to Fake a Deadline to Actually Start Writing

If you gave a writer an entire year to finish a novel, they wouldn’t produce a masterpiece. They would produce a year’s worth of frantic, last-minute scribbling—preceded by eleven months of intense research into the mating habits of Victorian earthworms and the tactical evolution of the 1920s cheese grater.

It’s the writer’s curse: Parkinson’s Law.

The law states that work expands to fill the time available for its completion. If you have all the time in the world, the task becomes bloated, abstract, and paralyzingly heavy. We don’t write because we have time; we write because we have run out of it.

But what happens when the deadline is invisible? What do you do when you are your own boss, your own editor, and your own project manager? If you’re waiting for the “perfect moment” or the “clear schedule” to start your work, you are waiting for a ghost.

To produce, you must manufacture urgency. You have to trick your brain into believing the ship is sinking. Here is how to create an artificial “plan and not enough time” scenario to force your creativity into the light.

1. The “Public Humiliation” Pact

Nothing creates a sense of scarcity like the fear of looking incompetent. Put your money—or your pride—where your mouth is. Use a site like StickK or simply text a friend: “If I don’t send you 500 words by 5:00 PM today, I am Venmoing you $50.”

When the stakes move from “I’d like to do this” to “I am losing actual currency,” your brain stops dilly-dallying and starts typing.

2. The “Short Window” Sprint (The Pomodoro on Steroids)

We often procrastinate because the task feels infinite. To fix this, trap yourself in a corner. Tell yourself: I am going to work for exactly 45 minutes. When the timer hits zero, I am closing the laptop, regardless of whether I finished the sentence.

By creating an artificial endpoint, you turn writing into a sprint rather than a marathon. You no longer have the “luxury” of overthinking that paragraph structure because you only have six minutes left to get it down.

3. The “Accountability Partner” Ambush

Schedule a meeting or a check-in with someone before the work is actually ready. If you tell an editor or a writing buddy, “I’ll have the draft sent over by Thursday at lunch,” you have created an external deadline.

The pressure isn’t just about finishing; it’s about showing up. When you know someone is waiting for your email, the temptation to surf the internet loses its lustre.

4. The “Zero-Draft” Rule

Part of the reason we procrastinate is that we treat every writing session like a final draft. We edit as we go, which kills our momentum.

Instead, force an artificial “time crunch” by committing to a Zero Draft. Tell yourself you have to finish the entire piece in one sitting because “you’re leaving for the airport” (or whatever metaphor works for you). This forces you to ignore the inner critic and focus entirely on velocity. You can fix the typos later; you can’t fix a blank page.

The Bottom Line

Creativity thrives on constraints. When you have all the time in the world, you have no incentive to be decisive.

Stop waiting for the right moment. The right moment is a myth. The “perfect time” is an illusion that keeps you trapped in the cycle of research, surfing, and doodling. Stop playing the long game. Create a trap, set a timer, and make yourself run out of time.

You’ll find that when your back is against the wall, you don’t just write—you soar.

…

Another excerpt from “Strangers We’ve Become” – A sequel to ‘What Sets Us Apart’

…

It was the first time in almost a week that I made the short walk to the cafe alone.  It was early, and the chill of the morning was still in the air.  In summer, it was the best time of the day.  When Susan came with me, it was usually much later, when the day was much warmer and less tolerable.

On the morning of the third day of her visit, Susan said she was missing the hustle and bustle of London, and by the end of the fourth she said, in not so many words, she was over being away from ‘civilisation’.  This was a side of her I had not seen before, and it surprised me.

She hadn’t complained, but it was making her irritable.  The Susan that morning was vastly different to the Susan on the first day.  So much, I thought, for her wanting to ‘reconnect’, the word she had used as the reason for coming to Greve unannounced.

It was also the first morning I had time to reflect on her visit and what my feelings were towards her.  It was the reason I’d come to Greve: to soak up the peace and quiet and think about what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

I sat in my usual corner.  Maria, one of two waitresses, came out, stopped, and there was no mistaking the relief in her manner.  There was an air of tension between Susan and Maria I didn’t understand, and it seemed to emanate from Susan rather than the other way around.  I could understand her attitude if it was towards Alisha, but not Maria.  All she did was serve coffee and cake.

When Maria recovered from the momentary surprise, she said, smiling, “You are by yourself?”  She gave a quick glance in the direction of my villa, just to be sure.

“I am this morning.  I’m afraid the heat, for one who is not used to it, can be quite debilitating.  I’m also afraid it has had a bad effect on her manners, for which I apologise.  I cannot explain why she has been so rude to you.”

“You do not have to apologise for her, David, but it is of no consequence to me.  I have had a lot worse.  I think she is simply jealous.”

It had crossed my mind, but there was no reason for her to be.  “Why?”

“She is a woman, I am a woman, she thinks because you and I are friends, there is something between us.”

It made sense, even if it was not true.  “Perhaps if I explained…”

Maria shook her head.  “If there is a hole in the boat, you should not keep bailing but try to plug the hole.  My grandfather had many expressions, David.  If I may give you one piece of advice, as much as it is none of my business, you need to make your feelings known, and if they are not as they once were, and I think they are not, you need to tell her.  Before she goes home.”

Interesting advice.  Not only a purveyor of excellent coffee, but Maria was also a psychiatrist who had astutely worked out my dilemma.  What was that expression, ‘not just a pretty face’?

“Is she leaving soon?” I asked, thinking Maria knew more about Susan’s movements than I did.

“You would disappoint me if you had not suspected as much.  Susan was having coffee and talking to someone in her office on a cell phone.  It was an intense conversation.  I should not eavesdrop, but she said being here was like being stuck in hell.  It is a pity she does not share your love for our little piece of paradise, is it not?”

“It is indeed.  And you’re right.  She said she didn’t have a phone, but I know she has one.  She just doesn’t value the idea of getting away from the office.  Perhaps her role doesn’t afford her that luxury.”

And perhaps Alisha was right about Maria, that I should be more careful.  She had liked Maria the moment she saw her.  We had sat at this very table, the first day I arrived.  I would have travelled alone, but Prendergast, my old boss, liked to know where ex-employees of the Department were, and what they were doing.

She sighed.  “I am glad I am just a waitress.  Your usual coffee and cake?”

“Yes, please.”

Several months had passed since we had rescued Susan from her despotic father; she had recovered faster than we had thought, and settled into her role as the new Lady Featherington, though she preferred not to use that title, but go by the name of Lady Susan Cheney.

I didn’t get to be a Lord, or have any title, not that I was expecting one.  What I had expected was that Susan, once she found her footing as head of what seemed to be a commercial empire, would not have time for details like husbands, particularly when our agreement made before the wedding gave either of us the right to end it.

There was a moment when I visited her recovering in the hospital, where I was going to give her the out, but I didn’t, and she had not invoked it.  We were still married, just not living together.

This visit was one where she wanted to ‘reconnect’ as she called it, and invite me to come home with her.  She saw no reason why we could not resume our relationship, conveniently forgetting she indirectly had me arrested for her murder, charges both her mother and Lucy vigorously pursued, and had the clone not returned to save me, I might still be in jail.

It was not something I would forgive or forget any time soon.

There were other reasons why I was reluctant to stay with her, like forgetting small details, an irregularity in her character I found odd.  She looked the same, she sounded the same, she basically acted the same, but my mind was telling me something was not right.  It was not the Susan I first met, even allowing for the ordeal she had been subjected to.

But, despite those misgivings, there was no question in my mind that I still loved her, and her clandestine arrival had brought back all those feelings.  But as the days passed, I began to get the impression my feelings were one-sided and she was just going through the motions.

Which brought me to the last argument, earlier, where I said if I went with her, it would be business meetings, social obligations, and quite simply her ‘celebrity’ status that would keep us apart.  I reminded her that I had said from the outset I didn’t like the idea of being in the spotlight, and when I reiterated it, she simply brushed it off as just part of the job, adding rather strangely that I always looked good in a suit.  The flippancy of that comment was the last straw, and I left before I said something I would regret.

I knew I was not a priority.  Maybe somewhere inside me, I had wanted to be a priority, and I was disappointed when I was not.

And finally, there was Alisha.  Susan, at the height of the argument, had intimated she believed I had an affair with her, but that elephant was always in the room whenever Alisha was around.  It was no surprise when I learned Susan had asked Prendergast to reassign her to other duties. 

At least I knew what my feelings for Alisha were, and there were times when I had to remember she was persona non grata.  Perhaps that was why Susan had her banished, but, again, a small detail; jealousy was not one of Susan’s traits when I first knew her.

Perhaps it was time to set Susan free.

When I swung around to look in the direction of the lane where my villa was, I saw Susan.  She was formally dressed, not in her ‘tourist’ clothes, which she had bought from one of the local clothing stores.  We had fun that day, shopping for clothes, a chore I’d always hated.  It had been followed by a leisurely lunch, lots of wine and soul searching.

It was the reason why I sat in this corner; old habits die hard.  I could see trouble coming from all directions, not that Susan was trouble or at least I hoped not, but it allowed me the time to watch her walking towards the cafe in what appeared to be short, angry steps; perhaps the culmination of the heat wave and our last argument.

She glared at me as she sat, dropping her bag beside her on the ground, where I could see the cell phone sitting on top.  She followed my glance down, and then she looked unrepentant back at me.

Maria came back at the exact moment she was going to speak.  I noticed Maria hesitate for a second when she saw Susan, then put her smile in place to deliver my coffee.

Neither spoke nor looked at each other.  I said, “Susan will have what I’m having, thanks.”

Maria nodded and left.

“Now,” I said, leaning back in my seat, “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation as to why you didn’t tell me about the phone, but that first time you disappeared, I’d guessed you needed to keep in touch with your business interests.  I thought it somewhat unwisethat you should come out when the board of one of your companies was trying to remove you, because of what was it, an unexplained absence?  All you had to do was tell me there were problems and you needed to remain at home to resolve them.”

My comment elicited a sideways look, with a touch of surprise.

“It was unfortunate timing on their behalf, and I didn’t want you to think everything else was more important than us.  There were issues before I came, and I thought the people at home would be able to manage without me for at least a week, but I was wrong.”

“Why come at all.  A phone call would have sufficed.”

“I had to see you, talk to you.  At least we have had a chance to do that.  I’m sorry about yesterday.  I once told you I would not become my mother, but I’m afraid I sounded just like her.  I misjudged just how much this role would affect me, and truly, I’m sorry.”

An apology was the last thing I expected.

“You have a lot of work to do catching up after being away, and of course, in replacing your mother and gaining the requisite respect as the new Lady Featherington.  I think it would be for the best if I were not another distraction.  We have plenty of time to reacquaint ourselves when you get past all these teething issues.”

“You’re not coming with me?”  She sounded disappointed.

“I think it would be for the best if I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“It should come as no surprise to you that I’ve been keeping an eye on your progress.  You are so much better doing your job without me.  I told your mother once that when the time came I would not like the responsibilities of being your husband.  Now that I have seen what it could possibly entail, I like it even less.  You might also want to reconsider our arrangement, after all, we only had a marriage of convenience, and now that those obligations have been fulfilled, we both have the option of terminating it.  I won’t make things difficult for you if that’s what you want.”

It was yet another anomaly, I thought; she should look distressed, and I would raise the matter of that arrangement.  Perhaps she had forgotten the finer points.  I, on the other hand, had always known we would not last forever.  The perplexed expression, to me, was a sign she might have forgotten.

Then, her expression changed.  “Is that what you want?”

“I wasn’t madly in love with you when we made that arrangement, so it was easy to agree to your terms, but inexplicably, since then, my feelings for you changed, and I would be sad if we parted ways.  But the truth is, I can’t see how this is going to work.”

“In saying that, do you think I don’t care for you?”

That was exactly what I was thinking, but I wasn’t going to voice that opinion out loud.  “You spent a lot of time finding new ways to make my life miserable, Susan.  You and that wretched friend of yours, Lucy.  While your attitude improved after we were married, that was because you were going to use me when you went to see your father, and then almost let me go to prison for your murder.”

“I had nothing to do with that, other than to leave, and I didn’t agree with Lucy that you should be made responsible for my disappearance.  I cannot be held responsible for the actions of my mother.  She hated you; Lucy didn’t understand you, and Millie told me I was stupid for not loving you in return, and she was right.  Why do you think I gave you such a hard time?  You made it impossible not to fall in love with you, and it nearly changed my mind about everything I’d been planning so meticulously.  But perhaps there was a more subliminal reason why I did because after I left, I wanted to believe, if anything went wrong, you would come and find me.”

“How could you possibly know that I’d even consider doing something like that, given what you knew about me?”

“Prendergast made a passing comment when my mother asked him about you; he told us you were very good at finding people and even better at fixing problems.”

“And yet here we are, one argument away from ending it.”

I could see Maria hovering, waiting for the right moment to deliver her coffee, then go back and find Gianna, the café owner, instead.  Gianna was more abrupt and, for that reason, was rarely seen serving the customers.  Today, she was particularly cantankerous, banging the cake dish on the table and frowning at Susan before returning to her kitchen.  Gianna didn’t like Susan either.

Behind me, I heard a car stop, and when she looked up, I knew it was for her.  She had arrived with nothing, and she was leaving with nothing.

She stood.  “Last chance.”

“Forever?”

She hesitated and then shook away the look of annoyance on her face.  “Of course not.  I wanted you to come back with me so we could continue working on our relationship.  I agree there are problems, but it’s nothing we can’t resolve if we try.”

I had been trying.  “It’s too soon for both of us, Susan.  I need to be able to trust you, and given the circumstances, and all that water under the bridge, I’m not sure if I can yet.”

She frowned at me.  “As you wish.”  She took an envelope out of her bag and put it on the table.  “When you are ready, it’s an open ticket home.  Please make it sooner rather than later.  Despite what you think of me, I have missed you, and I have no intention of ending it between us.”

That said, she glared at me for a minute, shook her head, then walked to the car.  I watched her get in and the car drive slowly away.

No kiss, no touch, no looking back. 

…

© Charles Heath 2018-2025

strangerscover9

What I learned about writing – Sharing your experiences

Whilst some of the experiences you have sometimes become parts of the stories about the protagonists, the places, and even sometimes the events, others are just experiences that you will want to share with others.

It is the reason why I have specific blogs, one that records almost like diary entries, the things that happen, like seeing a movie or going to a play, or just some event I got caught up in.

The other is a travel blog where, whenever we go away, I always take photos and record what it is we do if I think it would be useful for others. Sometimes these travel events appear as ‘Searching for Locations’, much like the movie makers do when setting up to film.

But, more often, it is like keeping a diary, and these events record my writing progress, the problems with writing, and especially advertising for self-publishing authors. Certainly, the travel entries being time-based keep a record of any changes at a place we go to more than once.

That’s usually Coffs Harbour in northern New South Wales, where we get a timeshare.

We realised very early on the advantage of owning a timehare because it means we can go anywhere in the world, for a week, for a relatively low cost, and get a place with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and plenty of living space, a kitchen and a laundry.

Major travels in the last few years include America, Canada, China, New Zealand, Austria, Italy and France. Writing about those places is mostly for my own benefit, as they all, at one time or another, end up in my stories.

I also hope that it helps other people with their plans.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 125

Day 125 – Writing Exercise

Down the slope and across the valley, they rode

…

It was a cold day in hell, my father said.

Two men had come into town, men who didn’t look like who they were, murderers.

They said they were scouts for the railway.  We had been told a year before that the railways were going to be passing through.  Some people who owned land would become rich, the town would benefit with a rail head, station, hotels and more people.

Some liked the idea, most didn’t

They’d come to Stillwater Creek from the cities to get away from the hustle and bustle, only to find it wolfed follow them.

The two men visited all the farms along a specific path.  They asked about the other landowners.  It wasn’t until it was too late that someone realised they were looking for one specific person.

My elder brother: Mason Henry.

He was the one who was going to make the Henry name famous.  Study law, practise in the big city, then come home and hang a shingle in town.

Got the law degree, got into a large practise, got one case, and then came home.  Showed us the big city newspaper. Prosecuted the criminal, got him life in jail.  A success by any stretch of the imagination.

He didn’t tell us that he had fled the big city in fear for his life.  The family of the criminal put a price on his head, and he was lucky to survive the first attempt.  He didn’t tell us; the sheriff did, days after the so-called railway scouts arrived.

At that time, Mason was out doing a tour of the farms and ranches being courted by the railways, offering his services so the railway wouldn’t take advantage of them.

When he didn’t come home, we went looking for him, my father and I.  And found him, dead, with the horse standing guard.  Shot as he rode past Devils Range, between the Parson’s ranch and town.

The railwaymen had gone.

The sheriff called on any men who were available for a posse.  We started with twenty.  The Henry name meant something in Stillwater Creek.

The usual words about law and order and no shooting on sight or unless in self-defence, we set out.  It was three days ride to the nearest railhead.  There was nowhere else they could go, unless they were simply running.

Fifteen would ride the track.  Five of us were heading straight to Alabaster Springs, the railhead, in the hope that they believed they had got a head start. 

When we finally got Mason to Doc, he said he’d been dead no more than twelve hours.

There was hope.

…

We’d had our fair share of gunslingers passing through.  The Tuckers were among the first of the few land owners that came out when the West was new, and everything was up for grabs.

Others followed, like my family, the Henrys, and they lay claim to smaller tracts and smaller cattle ranches.  It was before fences, with rivalries and perceived injustices, and eventually the law found its way out, along with the start of a town.

It began with two hotels and a general store, a stable and then the stagecoach.  From there, a sheriff’s office and fences.  Disputes over water rights, and the Tuckers trying to run the new ranchers off their properties.

Tucker’s hands were more than cowboys; they were enforcers.  His leading hand had a reputation as a man who’d won a dozen shoot-outs on Main Street, the closest we ever saw a gunslinger.

The last gunfight I saw, not a month or two back, a card sharp was caught and called out.

We thought it was entertainment.

The sheriff called it murder.

Pa said the card sharp should have stayed on the Mississippi.  Ma said he would’ve died anyway.

The point is, talk of railways, more people moving out of the cities, and opportunists arrive every day.  The Tuckers had an investment in the railways, but their land wasn’t on the direct route, so they were buying up land, and those that wouldn’t sell had cattle rustled, cowboys beaten or shot, and the owners intimidated.

Pa knew who was ultimately responsible for Mason’s death, a message of what was going to happen to me and my older sister, Polly, but he was picking on the wrong people.  He tried going down the law path, but the law could be bought or replaced; it, too, was under threat from the Tuckers.

We were not selling, and we were going to prove that the Tuckers were the people responsible for Mason.  With or without the law.

That’s why Polly and I were in the group of five heading to the railhead.  Dad said it was to protect our interests; Polly said through gritted teeth she was going to kill the sons of bitches.

I said that that wouldn’t help find out who hired them.  I don’t think she heard me.

…

Polly was insistent that I learn to shoot.  Not just a rifle, which was a necessity when out herding and moving cattle, but a handgun, for emergencies.

Pa had taught Polly and Mason, even though Mason never liked the idea.  He had no problem with using a rifle; he helped with the cattle when he was home, and there were plenty of reasons for carrying a gun.  Ma said I was too young, so Polly taught me when we were away from the ranch.

I could use a gun.

I shouldn’t have to.

But it was there.

Just before we slowed down, the horses were just about all in from the mad dash, in sight of the town in the distance, and not far from the rail tracks heading back east.

Alabaster Springs was a big town.  When we were younger, it wasn’t much more than our town.  Now it was a city.  A long main street, several livery stables, half a dozen hotels, two with dancing girls, gambling, drinking, and trouble.

It had grown too quickly, and lawlessness outstripped the sheriff and his deputies, and the good intentions from the mayor, the council and law and order were lost in a tangle of land rights, personal power struggles, and property ownership disputes.

Not even the establishment of three churches and three upstanding ministers vigorously performing the Lord’s work could stop the tide of sin.  Pa said it was too little too late, and compared it to Sodom and Gomorrah. 

Pa said never to go there because a child who thought he was a man was still a child and wouldn’t get treated properly.  Or as Polly bluntly put it, a child or a man would be led down the devil’s path before he knew what happened.

We would find the railwaymen, catch them, and turn them in to the law.

…

Passing Jockheim’s Livery Stable, several sheets of the newspaper blew across the street, picked up by a gust. Once, it had been tumbleweeds.

It was late afternoon, and the sun was going down after a hot day in the saddle.  We were sore and tired, but the day, for us, was not over.

We had a plan.  Hotel by hotel, looking for the men.  We all knew what they looked like.  Who they were.  Faces etched in our minds.

The faces of murderers.

The horses moved slowly. Jackerby, a deputy, stopped first, hitched his horse to the rail outside the Northern Hotel.

A wave, he went in.

Next, Walters, a cowboy from the ranch next to ours, stopped, and did the same.  He went into the Wiseman Hotel.  There was a lot of noise inside, and as he stepped up onto the boardwalk, a drunk was thrown out onto the street.

It was a confronting sight.

A wagon came up behind us and nearly ran over him.

Samson, a new deputy, stopped at the Likerest Casino and Hotel. 

Three down, about a dozen or more to go.

Everyone, on the street, going in and coming out of the hotels, the stores or walking the boardwalk, carried guns.

It was very busy. A lot of men looked dangerous.

In the distance, the sound of cattle in the pens, waiting for the next train.  It was why so many men were in town.

A gun went off, and I jumped, and the horse reared, a little skittish.  Polly was beside me and leaned over to pay my horse on the neck.

Another man, a distance up the street, found himself face down in the street, muddy, churned up, and not a pleasant place to end up.

The gun followed him.

Polly shook her head.  Ma said it would be dangerous for her in a rough town with drunken men used to having their way.  Pa reckoned she could handle herself, but I was there to protect her.

More like it would be the other way around.

The Belvedere.  Supposedly classy.  Or so the advertisements in the newspaper, sent over once a week by stagecoach, said.  Fine dining, fine ladies, fine entertainment, genuine showgirls from back east.  Jack Belvedere, Mayor of Alabaster Springs, owned nearly everything; it was his city.

Pa said he was the personification of evil.

I could believe it.

He was standing outside his hotel, having his photo taken with two of his showgirls.

Polly and I had reached our first stop, hitched the horses and walked up the stairs outside the next-door storefront, the land office.  It was closed.

She brought her rifle.

Now that I was here, the plan of going to the bar and checking whether the two men were inside seemed impossible.

She stopped just as we were about to cross from the storefront boardwalk to the hotels.

“I see them,” she said.

The other end of the boardwalk.  Coming towards Belvedere.  When they stopped to talk to Belvendere, Polly disappeared after telling me to follow them.

She went down the alley and around the back.

I heard them talking.

Belvedere:  “You made good time.  The train will be here in two hours.  Go inside.  Tell Joe at the bar you’ve got a tab.  He’ll give you whatever you want.”

One said, “Thank you, Mr Belvadere.”

“No, Ned.  I should be thanking you for cleaning up what was about to be a big problem.”

He shook hands with them, and they went inside.

Belvedere, in cahoots with the Tuckers.  No surprises there.  He was part of their escape plan. 

I skirted my way around the photographer and Belvedere and went inside.  Just.  The bar was huge, one of several and packed.

The long bar down one side was crowded with men drinking, some in an intoxicated state, some with women hanging on to them, perhaps to keep them from falling over.  Certainly to keep plying them with drink.  Ma had a name for them.  I don’t think it was a good name.

I saw the two men head down the end, and they were met by several others.  A loud voice carried above the noise.  Larry Tucker.  Then I saw the brothers, Sam and Chuck. Not a good one between them.

Larry was the worst, the same age as Mason.  Tried to lead him astray, but Mason had no taste for drink and bullying, or shooting at innocents.  Harry Tucker had wounded several boys from surrounding ranches, covered by his father as shooting accidents while hunting.

They weren’t.  The boys treated him with contempt, where he expected fealty.  We all knew he was an idiot with a rich father.

“Well, well, well.”  Larry had seen me.

Not good.

Not in a bar.

Not after he’d been drinking.  He was a boy who couldn’t hold his liquor.  And that was dangerous.

“If it isn’t little Tom Henry.  Little fish in a big pond.”

He stepped out from the bar, a hand on the gun, a big gun, bigger than most.  Smirk.  Threatening posture.  Daring.  A blink and slight swaying movement.

A drink too many.

A touch too much courage?

A section of the crowd had gone quiet, waiting to see what happened.

“What are you doing here?”

Trying not to alert the two men, but it was a bit late for that.  They were on the alert now and looking worried.

Three men with guns.

But what the hell.  It was death or glory.  “Looking for two murderers.”

Harry Tucker laughed.  “You’re in the wrong place.  Nothing but law-abiding citizens in here.”

He looked around at the people who were now interested in this side show.  I saw several men by the door, closed up, cutting off the exit.

“And the two railway agents standing next to you at the bar?”

“Businessmen.  Buying land for the railway that will benefit not only the Henrys.”

“How does killing my brother fit into the plan?”

“I know nothing about your brother.  But if he’s dead, then he was obviously sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong.  Like you.  I don’t like you calling my friends unsavoury names, Henry.  Leave, or I’ll put a bullet in you.”

He drew his gun and pointed it at me.  It wavered in his hand.  It was heavy.

The next few seconds were a blur.

A gun went off, and I felt a bullet hit me in the arm, the force of it knocking me backwards.  Then several more shots, and as I was falling, I saw Harry go down, the two railwaymen drawing their guns and being shot, the other brothers trying to draw their weapons and being stopped by men behind them, then a gun shot three bullets into the roof and a man yelling, “The next man to fire a gun will die.”

Silence, after I finished sprawling on the floor, holding my arm that was hurting like hell, and bleeding.  I honestly thought I was going to die.  That’s when I passed out.

…

When I woke, it was in a hotel room with an old man leaning over me, looking at my arm.

“He’ll survive, it’s just a scratch.  It’s patched, you just need to change the bandage in a day or so.”

On the floor, there were three bodies.  The two railwaymen and Harry Tucker.  I didn’t shoot him or any of them.  I knew better than to draw a weapon in a place like that.

Belvedere was standing over them, shaking his head.

In the corner, a man with a sheriff’s badge and sporting a blackening eye was standing next to my sister, looking somewhat dishevelled.

Belvedere looked at her.  “Anytime you want a job working for me, just make yourself known to Joe.”

“I’m not a whore.” Her tone and manner dripped defiance. She scared me, most of the time.

“I mean, as a sharp shooter.  That was the most amazing display of shooting I’ve ever seen.”

“Pity she didn’t shoot you,” I said.

He swivelled around.  “Ah, the small fish speaks.”

“You paid them to kill my brother.”

“Correction, Tom Henry, that is your name, isn’t it?  Of course it is.  The family resemblance is unmistakable.  Are all of you Henrys this rambunctious?  I had nothing to do with it.  In fact, I told those stupid Tuckers it would bring nothing but trouble.  And here it is, on my doorstep.”

“You reap what you sow,” Polly said.

“I’m trying to build something here.  Not spend the rest of my life in jail.  Harry Tucker simply misinterpreted what his father said and took it into his own hands to get these two second-rate shooters to kill your brother.  Had you not turned up, I was going to hand them over to the law.  In fact, the sheriff is about to transfer them to Boot Hill.  I’ll send Tucker back to his father with an explanation.  Neither of you two nor any of the Henrys had anything to do with it.”

He looked at Polly.  “Take your brother home, tell your Pa he got caught in the crossfire.  Don’t come back any time soon, or you might get arrested.  Whatever you came here for is done.  Am I clear?”

I could see her thinking.

“It’s done, Polly, no matter what we think.  It’s done.  I’m done.”

She thought some more.  “I get my gun back?”

“Once you leave the city limits.  My deputy will escort you back to Springwater.  All of you.”

“Fine.”

The sheriff said, “I could lock you up for assaulting a sheriff, but I wasn’t wearing my badge, so you weren’t to know.  That’s a mean right you’ve got.”

She gave him a smile, but I didn’t think she was trying to be nice.

“Take them over to the jail house and get them to sign some paperwork, and a report to their father about what happened here.  An investigation into his son’s death has been carried out.  You know the details.” To a deputy by the door.  “Ride out and meet the posse.  Take them to the sheriff’s office.  Make sure they understand the circumstances.”

…

Back home, Pa was not a happy man.

The fact that Polly and I went into a bar, each carrying a gun.

The fact that the moment I saw Harry Tucker, I should have run.

The fact that Polly exercised summary justice in the two railwaymen/murderers.

The fact that I got shot by a Tucker.

The fact that we got caught.

The fact that we might never get the truth.

He was interested to learn what I heard between the railwaymen and Belvedere, but it wasn’t conclusive evidence. But at least he knew the Tuckers were trouble, and he had not prosecuted his daughter when they had sworn testimony that said otherwise. The report had a note from Belvedere himself; the Henrys had suffered enough.

The fact that Belvedere had outlined the facts of the case, and, according to him, Harry Butler had taken matters into his own hands and hired the railwayman to execute Mason, was as good an explanation they would get.

For that, old man Tucker apologised and said he would do everything he could to help the family cope with the loss.

Ma was particularly upset.

A parent, she told Polly, should never have to outlive their child.  Then she slapped Polly very hard for allowing me to go into the bar and for nearly getting me killed.

It was the only time I saw Polly cry.

Other than that, as far as I was concerned, the Lord should be satisfied his work was done.  And eye for an eye. Harry Butler for Mason Henry, though Harry was far from being the same man as Mason.

The Lord, it had to be said, worked in mysterious ways.

The railway came.  We made some money, not a lot, and in time, what happened at Alabaster nearly happened in Stillwater.

Except…

We had the foreknowledge of what was coming and stopped most of it dead in its tracks.

Polly, as if it were ordained, became the first Mayor. She married the sheriff she gave a black eye.

My arm still aches with the onset of winter, a reminder that we don’t always get what we want at the time; it eventually happens if you wait long enough.

…

©  Charles Heath  2026

In a word: Happy

“I’m happy to be being here.”

Yes, I actually heard that answer given in a television interview, and thought, at the time, it was a quaint expression.

But in reality, this was a person for whom English was a second language, and that was, quite literally, their translation from their language to English.

Suffice to say, that person was not happy when lost the event she was participating in.

But that particular memory was triggered by another event.

Someone asked me how happy I was.

Happy is another of those words like good, thrown around like a rag doll, used without consequence, or regard for its true meaning.

“After everything that’s happened, you should be the happiest man alive!”

I’m happy.

I should be, to them.

A real friend might also say, “Are you sure, you don’t look happy.”

I hesitate but say, “Sure.  I woke up with a headache,” or some other lame reason.

But, in reality, I’m not ‘happy’.  Convention says that we should be happy if everything is going well.  In my case, it is, to a certain extent, but it is what’s happening within that’s the problem.  We say it because people expect it.

I find there is no use complaining because no one will listen, and definitely, no one likes serial complainers.

True.

But somewhere in all those complaints will be the truth, the one item that is bugging us.

It is a case of whether we are prepared to listen.  Really listen.

And not necessarily take people at their word.