This story has been ongoing since I was seventeen, and just to let you know, I’m 71 this year.
Yes, it’s taken a long time to get it done.
Why, you might ask.
Well, I never gave it much interest because I started writing it after a small incident when I was 17, and working as a book packer for a book distributor in Melbourne
At the end of my first year, at Christmas, the employer had a Christmas party, and that year, it was at a venue in St Kilda.
I wasn’t going to go because at that age, I was an ordinary boy who was very introverted and basically scared of his own shadow and terrified by girls.
Back then, I would cross the street to avoid them
Also, other members of the staff in the shipping department were rough and ready types who were not backwards in telling me what happened, and being naive, perhaps they knew I’d be either shocked or intrigued.
I was both adamant I wasn’t coming and then got roped in on a dare.
Damn!
So, back then, in the early 70s, people looked the other way when it came to drinking, and of course, Dutch courage always takes away the concerns, especially when normally you wouldn’t do half the stuff you wouldn’t in a million years
I made it to the end, not as drunk and stupid as I thought I might be, and St Kilda being a salacious place if you knew where to look, my new friends decided to give me a surprise.
It didn’t take long to realise these men were ‘men about town’ as they kept saying, and we went on an odyssey. Yes, those backstreet brothels where one could, I was told, have anything they could imagine.
Let me tell you, large quantities of alcohol and imagination were a very bad mix.
So, the odyssey in ‘The things we do’ was based on that, and then the encounter with Diana. Well, let’s just say I learned a great deal about girls that night.
Firstly, not all girls are nasty and spiteful, which seemed to be the case whenever I met one. There was a way to approach, greet, talk to, and behave.
It was also true that I could have had anything I wanted, but I decided what was in my imagination could stay there. She was amused that all I wanted was to talk, but it was my money, and I could spend it how I liked.
And like any 17-year-old naive fool, I fell in love with her and had all these foolish notions. Months later, I went back, but she had moved on, to where no one was saying or knew.
Needless to say, I was heartbroken and had to get over that first loss, which, like any 17-year-old, was like the end of the world.
But it was the best hour I’d ever spent in my life and would remain so until I met the woman I have been married to for the last 48 years.
As Henry, he was in part based on a rebel, the son of rich parents who despised them and their wealth, and he used to regale anyone who would listen about how they had messed up his life
If only I’d come from such a background!
And yes, I was only a run away from climbing up the stairs to get on board a ship, acting as a purser.
I worked for a shipping company and they gave their junior staff members an opportunity to spend a year at sea working as a purser on a cargo ship that sailed between Melbourne, Sydney and Hobart in Australia.
One of the other junior staff members’ turn came, and I would visit him on board when he would tell me stories about life on board, the officers, the crew, and other events. These stories, which sounded incredible to someone so impressionable, were a delight to hear.
Alas, by that time, I had tired of office work and moved on to be a tradesman at the place where my father worked.
It proved to be the right move, as that is where I met my wife. Diana had been right; love would find me when I least expected it.
The Delicate Art of Beta Reading: Who to Trust With Your First Draft (And How to Ask)
Congratulations. You did the impossible. You typed “The End.”
That rush of relief, accomplishment, and sheer terror is the signature cocktail of the first-draft writer. You have a manuscript—a beautiful, messy, wonderful secret—and now you need to expose it to the light.
But who do you trust with your raw, vulnerable creation?
Sending your draft out for feedback is like choosing a mechanic for a car that’s barely held together with duct tape and hope. You don’t need a cheerleader; you need an expert who knows how to spot engine failure. Asking the wrong people can lead to useless praise, crippling negativity, or advice that sends you spiraling down the wrong revision path.
Here is your professional guide on curating the perfect feedback team and asking them the right questions.
Tier 1: The Inner Circle (The Mechanics)
These are the people who will look at the bones of your story. They are not focused on typos or beautiful prose—they are hunting for structural integrity and inherent flaws.
1. The Critique Partner (CP)
Who they are: A fellow working writer. Ideally, someone who writes in your genre or a similar one, and who understands the difference between a first draft and a finished product.
Why you need them: CPs see the craft. They can identify a weak inciting incident, inconsistent character motivation, pacing problems, and major plot holes. They understand the mechanics of story development and won’t confuse their personal preferences with necessary improvements.
The Golden Rule: Choose someone with whom you have an established reciprocal relationship. Critique is a two-way street; you should be dedicated to giving them thoughtful, critical feedback as well.
2. The Professional (The Editor)
Who they are: Someone who understands the publishing industry, perhaps a developmental editor you respect, or a writing coach.
Why you need them: While you might not hire a full developmental editor for your first draft, getting a manuscript evaluation from a professional can save you months of wasted revision time. They offer an objective, market-aware perspective that no friend or spouse can provide.
Tier 2: The Broader Circle (The Target Audience)
Once the structure is sound, you need to know if the book is enjoyable and if it hits the right notes for the people who will actually buy it. This is where you broaden your scope.
3. The Avid Reader
Who they are: Someone who reads 5-10 books per month, specifically in your genre. If you wrote a space opera, they must be a space opera fan. If you wrote gritty domestic suspense, they must devour psychological thrillers.
Why you need them: They represent your market. They are looking purely for the reading experience.
Do the tropes feel fresh?
Is the world immersive?
Did the ending satisfy me as a fan of this type of story?
This group provides essential data on market viability and reader expectation. They don’t care about your comma splices—they care about the emotional arc and the page-turning factor.
4. The “Non-Genre” Neutral Reader
Who they are: A highly literate individual who enjoys good stories but doesn’t necessarily specialize in your genre.
Why you need them: This reader tests the universality of your story. If your narrative relies too heavily on niche terminology or genre conventions, the neutral reader will get lost. If they love the characters, even if they never read Sci-Fi, you know you have something special. Just be careful: if they hate your book, make sure it’s not just because they inherently dislike the genre itself.
The Feedback Blacklist: Who to Avoid Asking
The biggest pitfall for first-time sharers is asking the wrong people—those whose feedback is either too gentle or entirely irrelevant.
Person
Why You Should Avoid Them
Your Spouse/Parents
They love you, not necessarily your draft. They will offer useless kindness that doesn’t help you improve.
People Who Hate Your Genre
They will critique the genre conventions (e.g., “Why did it have dragons?”) rather than your execution (e.g., “The dragons felt unnecessary to the plot.”).
The Overly Critical Coworker
If their feedback is designed to make them feel superior or crush your spirit, it serves no purpose. Seek constructive criticism, not malicious dissection.
Someone Who Doesn’t Read
They won’t understand pacing, structure, or reader expectation. Their notes will likely focus on surface-level issues easily fixed later.
The Secret Ingredient: How to Ask (The Feedback Toolkit)
Sending an email that says, “Tell me what you think,” is a recipe for vague, unhelpful responses. You need to give your readers a job description.
Before sending the manuscript, do three things:
1. Set the Stage (Manage Expectations)
Remind your reader that this is a first draft. It is messy. There are typos. The pacing might be terrible in Act II. This preemptive honesty frees them from trying to be polite about the obvious flaws and allows them to focus on the big picture.
2. Provide Targeted Questions
This is the most critical step. Instead of asking for a general opinion, give them 3–5 specific tasks related to your known weaknesses.
Examples of Targeted Questions:
“Did the protagonist’s actions in Chapter 12 feel consistent with their personality in Chapter 4?” (Testing character arc/consistency)
“Where exactly did you feel the tension drop? (Please mark the page number.)” (Testing pacing)
“Was the antagonist’s motivation clear and compelling, or did they feel like a cliché villain?” (Testing antagonist development)
“As a fan of [Genre], did the opening chapter hook you effectively?” (Testing the entry point/voice)
3. Offer Clear Instructions
Use a common format (Word Doc with Tracked Changes enabled, or Google Docs with Comments). Set a reasonable deadline (4–6 weeks for a novel-length work) and stick to it. If they miss the deadline, move on. Your writing schedule is paramount.
The Final Filter
Once the feedback starts rolling in, the work is not over. Your last, and most important, job is to be the Chief Executive Officer of Your Novel.
Not all feedback is created equal. If one reader hates a scene, but five others loved it, ignore the outlier. If three different people flag the same exact problem (e.g., “The middle section dragged”), you have identified a factual flaw that needs fixing.
Your first draft is an experiment. Feedback is the data. Learn to read the data dispassionately, apply what helps the story, and toss the rest with confidence. Now, take a deep breath, hit ‘send,’ and prepare for the rewrite.
In Beijing Hutongs are formed by lines of traditional courtyard residences, called siheyuan. Neighborhoods were formed by joining many hutongs together. These siheyuan are the traditional residences, usually occupied by a single or extended family, signifying wealth, and prosperity.
Over 500 of these still exist.Many of these hutongs have been demolished, but recently they have become protected places as a means of preserving some Chinese cultural history. They were first established in the Yuan Dynasty (1279-1368)Many of these Hutongs had their main buildings and gates built facing south, and lanes connecting them to other hutongs also ran north to south.
Many hutongs, some several hundred years old, in the vicinity of the Bell Tower and Drum Tower and Shichahai Lake are preserved and abound with tourists, many of which tour the quarter in pedicabs.
The optional tour also includes a visit to Shichahai, a historic scenic area consisting of three lakes (Qianhai, meaning Front Sea; Houhai, meaning Back Sea and Xihai, meaning West Sea), surrounding places of historic interest and scenic beauty and remnants of old-style local residences, Hutong and Courtyard.
First, we had a short walk through the more modern part of the Hutong area and given some free time for shopping, but we prefer just to meander by the canal.
There is a lake, and if we had the time, there were boats you could take.
With some time to spare, we take a quick walk down one of the alleyways where on the ground level are small shops, and above, living quarters.
Then we go to the bell and drum towers before walking through some more alleys was to where the rickshaws were waiting. The Bell tower
And the Drum tower. Both still working today.
The rickshaw ride took us through some more back streets where it was clear renovations were being made so that the area could apply for world heritage listing. Seeing inside some of the houses shows that they may look dumpy outside but that’s not the case inside.
The rickshaw ride ends outside the house where dinner will be served, and is a not so typical hose but does have all the elements of how the Chinese live, the boy’s room, the girl’s room, the parent’s room, the living area, and the North-south feng shui.
Shortly after we arrive, the cricket man, apparently someone quite famous in Beijing arrives and tells us all about crickets and then grasshoppers, then about cricket racing. He is animated and clearly enjoys entertaining us westerners.
I’m sorry but the cricket stuff just didn’t interest me. Or the grasshoppers.
As for dinner, it was finally a treat to eat what the typical Chinese family eats, and everything was delicious, and the endless beer was a nice touch.
And the last surprise, the food was cooked by a man.
The Delicate Art of Beta Reading: Who to Trust With Your First Draft (And How to Ask)
Congratulations. You did the impossible. You typed “The End.”
That rush of relief, accomplishment, and sheer terror is the signature cocktail of the first-draft writer. You have a manuscript—a beautiful, messy, wonderful secret—and now you need to expose it to the light.
But who do you trust with your raw, vulnerable creation?
Sending your draft out for feedback is like choosing a mechanic for a car that’s barely held together with duct tape and hope. You don’t need a cheerleader; you need an expert who knows how to spot engine failure. Asking the wrong people can lead to useless praise, crippling negativity, or advice that sends you spiraling down the wrong revision path.
Here is your professional guide on curating the perfect feedback team and asking them the right questions.
Tier 1: The Inner Circle (The Mechanics)
These are the people who will look at the bones of your story. They are not focused on typos or beautiful prose—they are hunting for structural integrity and inherent flaws.
1. The Critique Partner (CP)
Who they are: A fellow working writer. Ideally, someone who writes in your genre or a similar one, and who understands the difference between a first draft and a finished product.
Why you need them: CPs see the craft. They can identify a weak inciting incident, inconsistent character motivation, pacing problems, and major plot holes. They understand the mechanics of story development and won’t confuse their personal preferences with necessary improvements.
The Golden Rule: Choose someone with whom you have an established reciprocal relationship. Critique is a two-way street; you should be dedicated to giving them thoughtful, critical feedback as well.
2. The Professional (The Editor)
Who they are: Someone who understands the publishing industry, perhaps a developmental editor you respect, or a writing coach.
Why you need them: While you might not hire a full developmental editor for your first draft, getting a manuscript evaluation from a professional can save you months of wasted revision time. They offer an objective, market-aware perspective that no friend or spouse can provide.
Tier 2: The Broader Circle (The Target Audience)
Once the structure is sound, you need to know if the book is enjoyable and if it hits the right notes for the people who will actually buy it. This is where you broaden your scope.
3. The Avid Reader
Who they are: Someone who reads 5-10 books per month, specifically in your genre. If you wrote a space opera, they must be a space opera fan. If you wrote gritty domestic suspense, they must devour psychological thrillers.
Why you need them: They represent your market. They are looking purely for the reading experience.
Do the tropes feel fresh?
Is the world immersive?
Did the ending satisfy me as a fan of this type of story?
This group provides essential data on market viability and reader expectation. They don’t care about your comma splices—they care about the emotional arc and the page-turning factor.
4. The “Non-Genre” Neutral Reader
Who they are: A highly literate individual who enjoys good stories but doesn’t necessarily specialize in your genre.
Why you need them: This reader tests the universality of your story. If your narrative relies too heavily on niche terminology or genre conventions, the neutral reader will get lost. If they love the characters, even if they never read Sci-Fi, you know you have something special. Just be careful: if they hate your book, make sure it’s not just because they inherently dislike the genre itself.
The Feedback Blacklist: Who to Avoid Asking
The biggest pitfall for first-time sharers is asking the wrong people—those whose feedback is either too gentle or entirely irrelevant.
Person
Why You Should Avoid Them
Your Spouse/Parents
They love you, not necessarily your draft. They will offer useless kindness that doesn’t help you improve.
People Who Hate Your Genre
They will critique the genre conventions (e.g., “Why did it have dragons?”) rather than your execution (e.g., “The dragons felt unnecessary to the plot.”).
The Overly Critical Coworker
If their feedback is designed to make them feel superior or crush your spirit, it serves no purpose. Seek constructive criticism, not malicious dissection.
Someone Who Doesn’t Read
They won’t understand pacing, structure, or reader expectation. Their notes will likely focus on surface-level issues easily fixed later.
The Secret Ingredient: How to Ask (The Feedback Toolkit)
Sending an email that says, “Tell me what you think,” is a recipe for vague, unhelpful responses. You need to give your readers a job description.
Before sending the manuscript, do three things:
1. Set the Stage (Manage Expectations)
Remind your reader that this is a first draft. It is messy. There are typos. The pacing might be terrible in Act II. This preemptive honesty frees them from trying to be polite about the obvious flaws and allows them to focus on the big picture.
2. Provide Targeted Questions
This is the most critical step. Instead of asking for a general opinion, give them 3–5 specific tasks related to your known weaknesses.
Examples of Targeted Questions:
“Did the protagonist’s actions in Chapter 12 feel consistent with their personality in Chapter 4?” (Testing character arc/consistency)
“Where exactly did you feel the tension drop? (Please mark the page number.)” (Testing pacing)
“Was the antagonist’s motivation clear and compelling, or did they feel like a cliché villain?” (Testing antagonist development)
“As a fan of [Genre], did the opening chapter hook you effectively?” (Testing the entry point/voice)
3. Offer Clear Instructions
Use a common format (Word Doc with Tracked Changes enabled, or Google Docs with Comments). Set a reasonable deadline (4–6 weeks for a novel-length work) and stick to it. If they miss the deadline, move on. Your writing schedule is paramount.
The Final Filter
Once the feedback starts rolling in, the work is not over. Your last, and most important, job is to be the Chief Executive Officer of Your Novel.
Not all feedback is created equal. If one reader hates a scene, but five others loved it, ignore the outlier. If three different people flag the same exact problem (e.g., “The middle section dragged”), you have identified a factual flaw that needs fixing.
Your first draft is an experiment. Feedback is the data. Learn to read the data dispassionately, apply what helps the story, and toss the rest with confidence. Now, take a deep breath, hit ‘send,’ and prepare for the rewrite.
The Editing Dilemma: How To Know When Your Story Is Truly Done
You’ve done it. You’ve wrestled with the blank page, battled plot holes, breathed life into characters, and finally, triumphantly, typed “The End.” A moment of profound satisfaction, right?
Well, yes. And then the next phase begins: editing.
For many writers, this is where the real battle starts. The initial triumph gives way to a creeping anxiety. You read it again. And again. And suddenly, that beautiful, hard-won story feels less like a polished gem and more like a lump of clay you’re endlessly reshaping.
This is the Editing Dilemma: The powerful, almost irresistible temptation to tinker. To adjust just one more sentence, to rephrase that paragraph, to reconsider an entire subplot. The nagging question echoes in your mind: Have I got the story just right?
The Lure of the Endless Tweak
Why do we fall into this loop?
Perfectionism: We want our work to be flawless, to resonate deeply, to stand the test of time.
Love for the Craft: We genuinely enjoy the process of refining, shaping, and polishing.
Fear of Exposure: Once it’s “done,” it’s out there for judgment. Keeping it in edit mode is a form of procrastination, a shield against potential criticism.
The “What If”: What if there’s a better word? A stronger metaphor? A more impactful opening?
While the desire for excellence is admirable, allowing ourselves to be trapped in an endless editing cycle is detrimental. It can lead to burnout, stale prose, and worst of all, a graveyard of unfinished (or unreleased) stories.
So, how do we break free? How do you know when enough is enough?
The Art of Knowing When to Stop Editing
It’s not about achieving absolute perfection – that’s an illusion. It’s about reaching a point of optimal readiness. Here are some strategies to help you recognize it:
Step Away, Then Return with Fresh Eyes: This is non-negotiable. Finish a draft, then put it aside for a few days, a week, or even a month if possible. Work on something else, live your life. When you return, you’ll catch errors and awkward phrasings you swore weren’t there before.
Define Your Editing Passes: Instead of just “editing,” break it down into specific goals.
Pass 1: Big picture – plot, pacing, character arcs.
Pass 2: Scene-level – dialogue, description, showing vs. telling.
Pass 3: Sentence-level – clarity, conciseness, word choice.
Pass 4: Proofreading – grammar, spelling, punctuation. Once you’ve completed these targeted passes, you’ve addressed the major areas.
Read It Aloud (or Use a Text-to-Speech Reader): Your ears catch things your eyes miss. Awkward rhythms, repetitive phrases, clunky sentences – they all become glaringly obvious when spoken. If it sounds good, it probably is good.
Get Objective Feedback: Hand your manuscript to trusted beta readers or, ideally, a professional editor. Their feedback is invaluable. If multiple people are flagging the same issue, address it. If they’re all saying “This is great, just a few tiny tweaks,” it’s a strong sign you’re close. Crucially, listen to their feedback, don’t just collect it.
Look for Diminishing Returns: Are your new edits making a significant difference, or are you just moving commas around, swapping synonyms that are equally good, or changing something back to how it was a few drafts ago? When the changes become tiny, subjective, and don’t improve the core story, you’ve hit the wall of diminishing returns.
Check Your Core Intent: Does the story achieve what you set out to do? Is the message clear? Are the characters compelling? Is the plot resolved? If the answer is yes, then the foundational work is solid. The rest is frosting.
Trust Your Gut – The Deep Quiet: There comes a point, after all the passes, all the feedback, all the hard work, where you feel a profound sense of quietude about the manuscript. It’s not “perfect,” but it feels right. It’s humming. You feel a sense of completion, a subtle understanding that to continue tinkering would be to chip away at its essence rather than enhance it.
The Courage to Let Go
Editing is an essential, transformative part of the writing process. It refines your vision and elevates your craft. But learning when to stop is just as vital as knowing how to start.
Your story isn’t meant to be locked away in an eternal revision loop. It’s meant to be shared, to be experienced, to connect with readers. Have the courage to say, “This is the best I can make it right now.” Celebrate your hard work, and then, with a deep breath, send your story out into the world.
In Beijing Hutongs are formed by lines of traditional courtyard residences, called siheyuan. Neighborhoods were formed by joining many hutongs together. These siheyuan are the traditional residences, usually occupied by a single or extended family, signifying wealth, and prosperity.
Over 500 of these still exist.Many of these hutongs have been demolished, but recently they have become protected places as a means of preserving some Chinese cultural history. They were first established in the Yuan Dynasty (1279-1368)Many of these Hutongs had their main buildings and gates built facing south, and lanes connecting them to other hutongs also ran north to south.
Many hutongs, some several hundred years old, in the vicinity of the Bell Tower and Drum Tower and Shichahai Lake are preserved and abound with tourists, many of which tour the quarter in pedicabs.
The optional tour also includes a visit to Shichahai, a historic scenic area consisting of three lakes (Qianhai, meaning Front Sea; Houhai, meaning Back Sea and Xihai, meaning West Sea), surrounding places of historic interest and scenic beauty and remnants of old-style local residences, Hutong and Courtyard.
First, we had a short walk through the more modern part of the Hutong area and given some free time for shopping, but we prefer just to meander by the canal.
There is a lake, and if we had the time, there were boats you could take.
With some time to spare, we take a quick walk down one of the alleyways where on the ground level are small shops, and above, living quarters.
Then we go to the bell and drum towers before walking through some more alleys was to where the rickshaws were waiting. The Bell tower
And the Drum tower. Both still working today.
The rickshaw ride took us through some more back streets where it was clear renovations were being made so that the area could apply for world heritage listing. Seeing inside some of the houses shows that they may look dumpy outside but that’s not the case inside.
The rickshaw ride ends outside the house where dinner will be served, and is a not so typical hose but does have all the elements of how the Chinese live, the boy’s room, the girl’s room, the parent’s room, the living area, and the North-south feng shui.
Shortly after we arrive, the cricket man, apparently someone quite famous in Beijing arrives and tells us all about crickets and then grasshoppers, then about cricket racing. He is animated and clearly enjoys entertaining us westerners.
I’m sorry but the cricket stuff just didn’t interest me. Or the grasshoppers.
As for dinner, it was finally a treat to eat what the typical Chinese family eats, and everything was delicious, and the endless beer was a nice touch.
And the last surprise, the food was cooked by a man.
It was the first time in almost a week that I made the short walk to the cafe alone. It was early, and the chill of the morning was still in the air. In summer, it was the best time of the day. When Susan came with me, it was usually much later, when the day was much warmer and less tolerable.
On the morning of the third day of her visit, Susan said she was missing the hustle and bustle of London, and by the end of the fourth she said, in not so many words, she was over being away from ‘civilisation’. This was a side of her I had not seen before, and it surprised me.
She hadn’t complained, but it was making her irritable. The Susan that morning was vastly different to the Susan on the first day. So much, I thought, for her wanting to ‘reconnect’, the word she had used as the reason for coming to Greve unannounced.
It was also the first morning I had time to reflect on her visit and what my feelings were towards her. It was the reason I’d come to Greve: to soak up the peace and quiet and think about what I was going to do with the rest of my life.
I sat in my usual corner. Maria, one of two waitresses, came out, stopped, and there was no mistaking the relief in her manner. There was an air of tension between Susan and Maria I didn’t understand, and it seemed to emanate from Susan rather than the other way around. I could understand her attitude if it was towards Alisha, but not Maria. All she did was serve coffee and cake.
When Maria recovered from the momentary surprise, she said, smiling, “You are by yourself?” She gave a quick glance in the direction of my villa, just to be sure.
“I am this morning. I’m afraid the heat, for one who is not used to it, can be quite debilitating. I’m also afraid it has had a bad effect on her manners, for which I apologise. I cannot explain why she has been so rude to you.”
“You do not have to apologise for her, David, but it is of no consequence to me. I have had a lot worse. I think she is simply jealous.”
It had crossed my mind, but there was no reason for her to be. “Why?”
“She is a woman, I am a woman, she thinks because you and I are friends, there is something between us.”
It made sense, even if it was not true. “Perhaps if I explained…”
Maria shook her head. “If there is a hole in the boat, you should not keep bailing but try to plug the hole. My grandfather had many expressions, David. If I may give you one piece of advice, as much as it is none of my business, you need to make your feelings known, and if they are not as they once were, and I think they are not, you need to tell her. Before she goes home.”
Interesting advice. Not only a purveyor of excellent coffee, but Maria was also a psychiatrist who had astutely worked out my dilemma. What was that expression, ‘not just a pretty face’?
“Is she leaving soon?” I asked, thinking Maria knew more about Susan’s movements than I did.
“You would disappoint me if you had not suspected as much. Susan was having coffee and talking to someone in her office on a cell phone. It was an intense conversation. I should not eavesdrop, but she said being here was like being stuck in hell. It is a pity she does not share your love for our little piece of paradise, is it not?”
“It is indeed. And you’re right. She said she didn’t have a phone, but I know she has one. She just doesn’t value the idea of getting away from the office. Perhaps her role doesn’t afford her that luxury.”
And perhaps Alisha was right about Maria, that I should be more careful. She had liked Maria the moment she saw her. We had sat at this very table, the first day I arrived. I would have travelled alone, but Prendergast, my old boss, liked to know where ex-employees of the Department were, and what they were doing.
She sighed. “I am glad I am just a waitress. Your usual coffee and cake?”
“Yes, please.”
Several months had passed since we had rescued Susan from her despotic father; she had recovered faster than we had thought, and settled into her role as the new Lady Featherington, though she preferred not to use that title, but go by the name of Lady Susan Cheney.
I didn’t get to be a Lord, or have any title, not that I was expecting one. What I had expected was that Susan, once she found her footing as head of what seemed to be a commercial empire, would not have time for details like husbands, particularly when our agreement made before the wedding gave either of us the right to end it.
There was a moment when I visited her recovering in the hospital, where I was going to give her the out, but I didn’t, and she had not invoked it. We were still married, just not living together.
This visit was one where she wanted to ‘reconnect’ as she called it, and invite me to come home with her. She saw no reason why we could not resume our relationship, conveniently forgetting she indirectly had me arrested for her murder, charges both her mother and Lucy vigorously pursued, and had the clone not returned to save me, I might still be in jail.
It was not something I would forgive or forget any time soon.
There were other reasons why I was reluctant to stay with her, like forgetting small details, an irregularity in her character I found odd. She looked the same, she sounded the same, she basically acted the same, but my mind was telling me something was not right. It was not the Susan I first met, even allowing for the ordeal she had been subjected to.
But, despite those misgivings, there was no question in my mind that I still loved her, and her clandestine arrival had brought back all those feelings. But as the days passed, I began to get the impression my feelings were one-sided and she was just going through the motions.
Which brought me to the last argument, earlier, where I said if I went with her, it would be business meetings, social obligations, and quite simply her ‘celebrity’ status that would keep us apart. I reminded her that I had said from the outset I didn’t like the idea of being in the spotlight, and when I reiterated it, she simply brushed it off as just part of the job, adding rather strangely that I always looked good in a suit. The flippancy of that comment was the last straw, and I left before I said something I would regret.
I knew I was not a priority. Maybe somewhere inside me, I had wanted to be a priority, and I was disappointed when I was not.
And finally, there was Alisha. Susan, at the height of the argument, had intimated she believed I had an affair with her, but that elephant was always in the room whenever Alisha was around. It was no surprise when I learned Susan had asked Prendergast to reassign her to other duties.
At least I knew what my feelings for Alisha were, and there were times when I had to remember she was persona non grata. Perhaps that was why Susan had her banished, but, again, a small detail; jealousy was not one of Susan’s traits when I first knew her.
Perhaps it was time to set Susan free.
When I swung around to look in the direction of the lane where my villa was, I saw Susan. She was formally dressed, not in her ‘tourist’ clothes, which she had bought from one of the local clothing stores. We had fun that day, shopping for clothes, a chore I’d always hated. It had been followed by a leisurely lunch, lots of wine and soul searching.
It was the reason why I sat in this corner; old habits die hard. I could see trouble coming from all directions, not that Susan was trouble or at least I hoped not, but it allowed me the time to watch her walking towards the cafe in what appeared to be short, angry steps; perhaps the culmination of the heat wave and our last argument.
She glared at me as she sat, dropping her bag beside her on the ground, where I could see the cell phone sitting on top. She followed my glance down, and then she looked unrepentant back at me.
Maria came back at the exact moment she was going to speak. I noticed Maria hesitate for a second when she saw Susan, then put her smile in place to deliver my coffee.
Neither spoke nor looked at each other. I said, “Susan will have what I’m having, thanks.”
Maria nodded and left.
“Now,” I said, leaning back in my seat, “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation as to why you didn’t tell me about the phone, but that first time you disappeared, I’d guessed you needed to keep in touch with your business interests. I thought it somewhat unwisethat you should come out when the board of one of your companies was trying to remove you, because of what was it, an unexplained absence? All you had to do was tell me there were problems and you needed to remain at home to resolve them.”
My comment elicited a sideways look, with a touch of surprise.
“It was unfortunate timing on their behalf, and I didn’t want you to think everything else was more important than us. There were issues before I came, and I thought the people at home would be able to manage without me for at least a week, but I was wrong.”
“Why come at all. A phone call would have sufficed.”
“I had to see you, talk to you. At least we have had a chance to do that. I’m sorry about yesterday. I once told you I would not become my mother, but I’m afraid I sounded just like her. I misjudged just how much this role would affect me, and truly, I’m sorry.”
An apology was the last thing I expected.
“You have a lot of work to do catching up after being away, and of course, in replacing your mother and gaining the requisite respect as the new Lady Featherington. I think it would be for the best if I were not another distraction. We have plenty of time to reacquaint ourselves when you get past all these teething issues.”
“You’re not coming with me?” She sounded disappointed.
“I think it would be for the best if I didn’t.”
“Why?”
“It should come as no surprise to you that I’ve been keeping an eye on your progress. You are so much better doing your job without me. I told your mother once that when the time came I would not like the responsibilities of being your husband. Now that I have seen what it could possibly entail, I like it even less. You might also want to reconsider our arrangement, after all, we only had a marriage of convenience, and now that those obligations have been fulfilled, we both have the option of terminating it. I won’t make things difficult for you if that’s what you want.”
It was yet another anomaly, I thought; she should look distressed, and I would raise the matter of that arrangement. Perhaps she had forgotten the finer points. I, on the other hand, had always known we would not last forever. The perplexed expression, to me, was a sign she might have forgotten.
Then, her expression changed. “Is that what you want?”
“I wasn’t madly in love with you when we made that arrangement, so it was easy to agree to your terms, but inexplicably, since then, my feelings for you changed, and I would be sad if we parted ways. But the truth is, I can’t see how this is going to work.”
“In saying that, do you think I don’t care for you?”
That was exactly what I was thinking, but I wasn’t going to voice that opinion out loud. “You spent a lot of time finding new ways to make my life miserable, Susan. You and that wretched friend of yours, Lucy. While your attitude improved after we were married, that was because you were going to use me when you went to see your father, and then almost let me go to prison for your murder.”
“I had nothing to do with that, other than to leave, and I didn’t agree with Lucy that you should be made responsible for my disappearance. I cannot be held responsible for the actions of my mother. She hated you; Lucy didn’t understand you, and Millie told me I was stupid for not loving you in return, and she was right. Why do you think I gave you such a hard time? You made it impossible not to fall in love with you, and it nearly changed my mind about everything I’d been planning so meticulously. But perhaps there was a more subliminal reason why I did because after I left, I wanted to believe, if anything went wrong, you would come and find me.”
“How could you possibly know that I’d even consider doing something like that, given what you knew about me?”
“Prendergast made a passing comment when my mother asked him about you; he told us you were very good at finding people and even better at fixing problems.”
“And yet here we are, one argument away from ending it.”
I could see Maria hovering, waiting for the right moment to deliver her coffee, then go back and find Gianna, the café owner, instead. Gianna was more abrupt and, for that reason, was rarely seen serving the customers. Today, she was particularly cantankerous, banging the cake dish on the table and frowning at Susan before returning to her kitchen. Gianna didn’t like Susan either.
Behind me, I heard a car stop, and when she looked up, I knew it was for her. She had arrived with nothing, and she was leaving with nothing.
She stood. “Last chance.”
“Forever?”
She hesitated and then shook away the look of annoyance on her face. “Of course not. I wanted you to come back with me so we could continue working on our relationship. I agree there are problems, but it’s nothing we can’t resolve if we try.”
I had been trying. “It’s too soon for both of us, Susan. I need to be able to trust you, and given the circumstances, and all that water under the bridge, I’m not sure if I can yet.”
She frowned at me. “As you wish.” She took an envelope out of her bag and put it on the table. “When you are ready, it’s an open ticket home. Please make it sooner rather than later. Despite what you think of me, I have missed you, and I have no intention of ending it between us.”
That said, she glared at me for a minute, shook her head, then walked to the car. I watched her get in and the car drive slowly away.
The Editing Dilemma: How To Know When Your Story Is Truly Done
You’ve done it. You’ve wrestled with the blank page, battled plot holes, breathed life into characters, and finally, triumphantly, typed “The End.” A moment of profound satisfaction, right?
Well, yes. And then the next phase begins: editing.
For many writers, this is where the real battle starts. The initial triumph gives way to a creeping anxiety. You read it again. And again. And suddenly, that beautiful, hard-won story feels less like a polished gem and more like a lump of clay you’re endlessly reshaping.
This is the Editing Dilemma: The powerful, almost irresistible temptation to tinker. To adjust just one more sentence, to rephrase that paragraph, to reconsider an entire subplot. The nagging question echoes in your mind: Have I got the story just right?
The Lure of the Endless Tweak
Why do we fall into this loop?
Perfectionism: We want our work to be flawless, to resonate deeply, to stand the test of time.
Love for the Craft: We genuinely enjoy the process of refining, shaping, and polishing.
Fear of Exposure: Once it’s “done,” it’s out there for judgment. Keeping it in edit mode is a form of procrastination, a shield against potential criticism.
The “What If”: What if there’s a better word? A stronger metaphor? A more impactful opening?
While the desire for excellence is admirable, allowing ourselves to be trapped in an endless editing cycle is detrimental. It can lead to burnout, stale prose, and worst of all, a graveyard of unfinished (or unreleased) stories.
So, how do we break free? How do you know when enough is enough?
The Art of Knowing When to Stop Editing
It’s not about achieving absolute perfection – that’s an illusion. It’s about reaching a point of optimal readiness. Here are some strategies to help you recognize it:
Step Away, Then Return with Fresh Eyes: This is non-negotiable. Finish a draft, then put it aside for a few days, a week, or even a month if possible. Work on something else, live your life. When you return, you’ll catch errors and awkward phrasings you swore weren’t there before.
Define Your Editing Passes: Instead of just “editing,” break it down into specific goals.
Pass 1: Big picture – plot, pacing, character arcs.
Pass 2: Scene-level – dialogue, description, showing vs. telling.
Pass 3: Sentence-level – clarity, conciseness, word choice.
Pass 4: Proofreading – grammar, spelling, punctuation. Once you’ve completed these targeted passes, you’ve addressed the major areas.
Read It Aloud (or Use a Text-to-Speech Reader): Your ears catch things your eyes miss. Awkward rhythms, repetitive phrases, clunky sentences – they all become glaringly obvious when spoken. If it sounds good, it probably is good.
Get Objective Feedback: Hand your manuscript to trusted beta readers or, ideally, a professional editor. Their feedback is invaluable. If multiple people are flagging the same issue, address it. If they’re all saying “This is great, just a few tiny tweaks,” it’s a strong sign you’re close. Crucially, listen to their feedback, don’t just collect it.
Look for Diminishing Returns: Are your new edits making a significant difference, or are you just moving commas around, swapping synonyms that are equally good, or changing something back to how it was a few drafts ago? When the changes become tiny, subjective, and don’t improve the core story, you’ve hit the wall of diminishing returns.
Check Your Core Intent: Does the story achieve what you set out to do? Is the message clear? Are the characters compelling? Is the plot resolved? If the answer is yes, then the foundational work is solid. The rest is frosting.
Trust Your Gut – The Deep Quiet: There comes a point, after all the passes, all the feedback, all the hard work, where you feel a profound sense of quietude about the manuscript. It’s not “perfect,” but it feels right. It’s humming. You feel a sense of completion, a subtle understanding that to continue tinkering would be to chip away at its essence rather than enhance it.
The Courage to Let Go
Editing is an essential, transformative part of the writing process. It refines your vision and elevates your craft. But learning when to stop is just as vital as knowing how to start.
Your story isn’t meant to be locked away in an eternal revision loop. It’s meant to be shared, to be experienced, to connect with readers. Have the courage to say, “This is the best I can make it right now.” Celebrate your hard work, and then, with a deep breath, send your story out into the world.
The Epic Dream & The First Word: Conquering Your Biggest Writing Projects (One Step at a Time)
Picture this: You’ve got an incredible idea brewing – a sprawling fantasy epic, a gritty crime trilogy, a non-fiction deep dive into a complex subject that demands multiple volumes. Your imagination soars, your fingers itch… and then, a tidal wave of overwhelm crashes over you.
The sheer scale of it. The endless pages, the character arcs, the world-building, the research, the plot twists across three (or more!) books… it feels less like a project and more like a mountain range you’re expected to scale in a single bound. It’s daunting, terrifying even. The dream of “a three-book series” can quickly paralyse you before you’ve even written a single chapter of the first.
But here’s the quiet wisdom that veteran writers (and anyone who’s ever tackled a seemingly insurmountable task) learn: No one climbs Everest in a single leap. They take one step, then another, then another.
The secret isn’t to think about writing a three-book series; it’s to write this sentence. Then this paragraph. Then this scene. Then this chapter.
Eating the Elephant, One Bite at a Time
Our brains, wonderful as they are, struggle with “massive.” They crave manageable chunks. When you stare at the blank page with “Book One” echoing in your mind, your brain screams, “Impossible!” But when you tell it, “Today, we’re just outlining Chapter 3,” or “Let’s focus on nailing this one dialogue exchange,” suddenly, it feels achievable.
This isn’t just about managing the external task; it’s about managing your internal self-talk. Breaking down an overwhelming project into small, actionable pieces transforms it from an insurmountable beast into a series of achievable tasks.
A book series? Break it into individual books.
A single book? Break it into acts, then chapters.
A chapter? Break it into scenes.
A scene? Break it into beats, key actions, or dialogue exchanges.
A page? Break it into paragraphs.
You get the idea. Each small victory builds momentum, chipping away at that intimidating mountain until, suddenly, you’re at the summit, looking back at the path you’ve forged.
The Power of the First Step
And this is where that timeless piece of wisdom rings so profoundly true: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” (Attributed to Mark Twain, and eternally valid).
It’s not about the perfect first sentence, or having the entire plot mapped out in glorious detail. It’s about showing up. It’s about putting anything down. That blank page, that empty document, is the biggest hurdle. Once there’s something on it, no matter how rough, how imperfect, how far from your grand vision, you’ve begun. You’ve broken the spell of inaction.
Think of it:
You can’t edit a blank page.
You can’t refine a scene that doesn’t exist.
You can’t finish a series you haven’t started.
The act of starting generates its own energy. It creates a tiny gravitational pull that helps you take the next step, and the next. That first word, that first paragraph, that first outline sketch – it’s the anchor that stops you from drifting in the sea of “what ifs” and pulls you towards “what is.”
Your Action Plan for Tackling Giants:
Deconstruct Your Dream: Don’t just see “Book One.” See “Book One, Part 1, Chapter 1, Scene 1, Character X enters the room.”
Set Micro-Goals: Instead of “write a book,” try “Today, I’ll write 250 words” or “I’ll outline the next three scenes” or “I’ll spend 15 minutes brainstorming character names.”
Embrace Imperfection: Your first draft is meant to be bad. Get it done, then make it good. Don’t let the fear of not being perfect stop you from being prolific.
Celebrate Small Wins: Finished a chapter? High five yourself! Outlined a whole book? Treat yourself to a nice coffee. These small acknowledgments reinforce positive habits.
So, if you’re standing at the foot of your own literary Everest, feeling the chill of overwhelm, remember these two powerful truths: Break it down, and just start. Your masterpiece isn’t waiting for perfection; it’s waiting for your first word.
The Epic Dream & The First Word: Conquering Your Biggest Writing Projects (One Step at a Time)
Picture this: You’ve got an incredible idea brewing – a sprawling fantasy epic, a gritty crime trilogy, a non-fiction deep dive into a complex subject that demands multiple volumes. Your imagination soars, your fingers itch… and then, a tidal wave of overwhelm crashes over you.
The sheer scale of it. The endless pages, the character arcs, the world-building, the research, the plot twists across three (or more!) books… it feels less like a project and more like a mountain range you’re expected to scale in a single bound. It’s daunting, terrifying even. The dream of “a three-book series” can quickly paralyse you before you’ve even written a single chapter of the first.
But here’s the quiet wisdom that veteran writers (and anyone who’s ever tackled a seemingly insurmountable task) learn: No one climbs Everest in a single leap. They take one step, then another, then another.
The secret isn’t to think about writing a three-book series; it’s to write this sentence. Then this paragraph. Then this scene. Then this chapter.
Eating the Elephant, One Bite at a Time
Our brains, wonderful as they are, struggle with “massive.” They crave manageable chunks. When you stare at the blank page with “Book One” echoing in your mind, your brain screams, “Impossible!” But when you tell it, “Today, we’re just outlining Chapter 3,” or “Let’s focus on nailing this one dialogue exchange,” suddenly, it feels achievable.
This isn’t just about managing the external task; it’s about managing your internal self-talk. Breaking down an overwhelming project into small, actionable pieces transforms it from an insurmountable beast into a series of achievable tasks.
A book series? Break it into individual books.
A single book? Break it into acts, then chapters.
A chapter? Break it into scenes.
A scene? Break it into beats, key actions, or dialogue exchanges.
A page? Break it into paragraphs.
You get the idea. Each small victory builds momentum, chipping away at that intimidating mountain until, suddenly, you’re at the summit, looking back at the path you’ve forged.
The Power of the First Step
And this is where that timeless piece of wisdom rings so profoundly true: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” (Attributed to Mark Twain, and eternally valid).
It’s not about the perfect first sentence, or having the entire plot mapped out in glorious detail. It’s about showing up. It’s about putting anything down. That blank page, that empty document, is the biggest hurdle. Once there’s something on it, no matter how rough, how imperfect, how far from your grand vision, you’ve begun. You’ve broken the spell of inaction.
Think of it:
You can’t edit a blank page.
You can’t refine a scene that doesn’t exist.
You can’t finish a series you haven’t started.
The act of starting generates its own energy. It creates a tiny gravitational pull that helps you take the next step, and the next. That first word, that first paragraph, that first outline sketch – it’s the anchor that stops you from drifting in the sea of “what ifs” and pulls you towards “what is.”
Your Action Plan for Tackling Giants:
Deconstruct Your Dream: Don’t just see “Book One.” See “Book One, Part 1, Chapter 1, Scene 1, Character X enters the room.”
Set Micro-Goals: Instead of “write a book,” try “Today, I’ll write 250 words” or “I’ll outline the next three scenes” or “I’ll spend 15 minutes brainstorming character names.”
Embrace Imperfection: Your first draft is meant to be bad. Get it done, then make it good. Don’t let the fear of not being perfect stop you from being prolific.
Celebrate Small Wins: Finished a chapter? High five yourself! Outlined a whole book? Treat yourself to a nice coffee. These small acknowledgments reinforce positive habits.
So, if you’re standing at the foot of your own literary Everest, feeling the chill of overwhelm, remember these two powerful truths: Break it down, and just start. Your masterpiece isn’t waiting for perfection; it’s waiting for your first word.
Thrills, Spills, and just a dash of Romance 