…

…

There is only one possible problem about starting a relationship in a city like New York, a melting pot of people from all over the country.  It’s quite possibly the home of what could become long-distance relationships, mostly because in essence it’s a long distance between your hometowns.

But, for everyone, it’s never the first thing in your mind, that’s just trying to get through those first few weeks, then months, then the steps that get you to the point where it’s time to go visit either your or her parents and family.

It’s a thing that some stave off as long as possible, particularly if you know your family are going to be over-inquisitive or likely to make your life hell with precious little details you hope no one would ever bring into the light again.

And of course, you know that is utterly impossible.

Of course, if you haven’t been home for a while, it makes the announcement all the more poignant at home, especially if you’re bringing the new partner, the one you have been praising to the hilt.

It was never going to be a problem for me, my parents were always on a cruise to somewhere or other and never home, and my brothers, quintessential men of the world, were scattered around the globe and it had been ages since we’d all been together.

But that first Christmas together, I knew Gabby was going to ask me to go home with her.  Like myself, she came from small-town America, a picturesque small city where opportunities were not as varied as those in the larger cities, where many migrated if they wanted better opportunities.

A lot often forget their origins, or more likely due to the pressures of establishing themselves in a new job, it took a while before going home.  Gabby had let three or so years slip by, and after being, as she put it, implored by her mom to come home, she had relented.

And since my office has decided to close for the holidays, she knew I didn’t have an excuse not to go with her.  And for better or worse, I turned up at the airport at the appointed time, and she was waiting.  I didn’t know until later that she had fully expected me not to go, the result of the last trip she had organised with what had been ‘the one’.

On that occasion, she had told the now ex that there was only one thing he had to do once they arrived home.  What she told me once the plane was in the air, “You will be meeting on various occasions my maternal grandmothers, Faith, Hope, and Charity.  They are, how should I say, somewhat strange, but they’re harmless.”

Usually, the mother-in-law was the leader of the Inquisition, and the father-in-law was the one that’s happy to tell you what he would do to you if you hurt his ‘little girl’.  Three essentially quirky old ladies were a new twist, and it was going to be interesting

I have always been a cautious fellow and very rarely dived into the unknown without a little investigation first.  I mean, that’s what an investigative journalist does, isn’t it?

Of course, that could be construed as uncool when it came to your hired friend, but I wasn’t very good at relationships, and this one with Gabby was a surprise.  She was different, but I knew that initial expectations were quickly dashed and over time completely shattered, or it could go the other way.

I had not expected she’d think our relationship was at the point where we would be meeting the parents, but to refuse would not be a good idea.

So, being the person I was, I wanted to know everything about her town, simply because it had a web page, the council, the sheriff, and upcoming Christmas activities.

It also had a sidebar about a certain Prom King and Queen, the town’s two most popular teenagers, and their plans, which were not the least of which was a long happy life together.  Gabby Saunders and John Prince.

It wasn’t hard to see why they were the golden couple.  John was the star of the football team; Gabby was the captain of the cheerleaders, and both families were prominent in the town.

Her father was the mayor and rancher, and John’s father was a farmer and agricultural industrialist.  She had said little about her father other than he ran a ranch, and her brothers and sister were ranch hands

I asked why she thought she needed to chase a career in the city when there was a perfectly good job at home, all it got was a pout and and a mumbled reply about being something more than a cowgirl.

I did a quick scan of the local paper’s digital back copies with her name and found two very interesting items.  The first, a month after the prom, was an incident involving Gabby and John that was remarkably short in detail, and it told me just how much pull each of their fathers had in that town.

The second, the prodigal daughter was leaving to go to New York to seek a career in fashion design, being a notable up-and-coming designer who designed and made clothes for her Aunt Faith to sell in her dress shop.  That raised a question: Why was she now simply a personal assistant to a crabby old lady?

John, in the meantime, had stayed home and was actively working in the management of his father’s business, with no inclination to join his bride-to-be.  He was happy enough, he was quoted, to bide his time whilst she shook off the desire to see what life was like on the other side.  The other side of what, I wondered.

Was this the reason why she had stayed away from home so long?

I thought about that whole scenario, and it was going to be a fascinating dynamic when I turned up with what he believed was his girl.  I came from a town like hers, and I knew how those ‘most likely’ scenarios worked.  He still carried a torch, as the saying goes.  She, apparently, was not.

I searched for a bed and breakfast to stay at if or when things started going south, and they would, no matter what she thought I felt about her.  When I rang up, I got a charming young lady by the name of Pricilla, and when I mentioned Gabby, there was a sharp intake of breath.  That was followed by a warning.  The last chap Gabby brought home to meet the parents was virtually hounded out of town.  He lasted two days.

I smiled to myself.  This might just be fun.  I asked her to be at the airport, just in case, and she said she wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Gabby was strangely subdued for most of the flight, unusual because she normally had what I called an effervescent personality.

I put it down to nerves, returning after so long away; and perhaps what lay ahead.  I had not told her that I knew a little about her former life and planned to keep it that way. 

She had said that her mother was coming to get us, but I fully expected to see John in his dilapidated pick-up where only two could sit in the front.  Yes, Hollywood romance movies had a lot to answer for.

It was one of those airports where the steps went down the front of the plane, and you walked across the tarmac to a small building that served as the airport terminal.  Alongside, a fence where people could line up to see who got off the plane.

I saw her scanning that fence line for her mother and not seeing her.

We went into the terminal, a modernised and extended interior, because of increased passenger numbers, or perhaps because a congressman lived nearby.  That always helped.

I saw John before he saw her.  I also saw Priscilla, who, catching sight of me, hung back.

We passed through the arrival gate into the main floor where about 30 people were waiting to greet arriving passengers, and the look on her face went from an impending smile to a scowl, and a mutter under her breath, “What the fuck?”

She never, ever swore.

“I hope that’s not directed at your mother,” I said.

She glared at me.  “This is not what I hoped would be your first look at my hometown.”

Just as that was said, John loomed all six foot six two hundred and forty pounds of a devilishly handsome cowboy.  It was not hard to see what she had seen in him.  But appearances were deceptive.

He tipped his hat.  “Hello, Gabby.  Welcome home!”

She switched the glare from me to him.  “Where’s my mother?”  It was not the politest of tones.

“She was unavoidably detained.  I offered to come in her place, and here I am.”

He had noticed but chose to ignore me.

In her annoyance, Gabby had forgotten to introduce me, so I just leaned against the handle of my suitcase and waited to see how this was going to play out.  Since I was not supposed to know anything about her and him, I couldn’t say or do anything.  Yet.

She had her phone out, calling her mother I guessed.  I heard an answer on the other end, then, “Where the hell are you?”

A moment later, “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.  This is exactly why I haven’t been home in years, and if you have any more of these surprises in store, I will get back on the next plane out, and I will never come home again.”

There was a minute when her face made various contortions, and then she disconnected the call.

She looked like she was going to scream, but didn’t, just counted to ten under her breath, then looked at me.  “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.  These things happen.”

“I’m afraid there’s another problem?”

“No room at the inn?”

Her face changed to one of surprise. “How…”

“Good hearing; your mother has a loud voice.  Storms are unpredictable, and I did check last night to see what the weather conditions were going to be, and I was surprised we were allowed to fly in.  That’s why I took the punt I might need somewhere to stay until your accommodation issues are sorted.”

Priscilla took that to be her cue.  “Hello, Gabby.”

“Prissy.”  It wasn’t a term of endearment.

“I told you I had no part in that.”  Straight on the defensive.  There was a mountain of issues that needed to be resolved, and I was now wondering if this trip was going to have a few unexpected surprises.

Even so, I knew despite everything I was witnessing now; Gabby was everything I could want in a partner, but she had issues.  And if I could help…

Awkward silence.  I broke it.  “So, instead of becoming the next hot news item for the Gazette, if we stand here much longer, I suggest, John, you take Gabby home.  Pricilla will take me to the B and B for a day or so, and I will get myself out to your place tomorrow.”

“This is not… “

“What you planned for.  No.  I fear the best-laid plans of mice and men can easily be waylaid in a small town like this.  I suggest you take the time to reunite with your family, I’m sure John will be happy to drop you off and give you some space.  He has the look of a boyfriend who hasn’t accepted that you’ve moved on.”  I looked at him.  “And I’m sure before the holiday is over you and I will have a chat about that.  In the meantime, I expect you to be a gentleman.”

That look of surprise on her face deepened.  “You knew?”

“I had an inkling.  I come from a small town too, as you know, that had a similar situation.  You are a gentleman, aren’t you John, not some creepy stalker?”

He was going to say something, but Gabby cut him off.  “I bet you brought that shitty little truck?”

His expression told the story.  “Best laid plans of mice and men, as you say David.  There would have been no room in the cabin, and I would not expect you to sit out back with the pig shit.”  She shook her head.  “I truly feel sorry for you, John.  I do.  You and I will be having words on the way to my house.”  Then a final glare in my direction, “I expect to see you tomorrow morning, David.”

In the end, I don’t think John wanted to be there.  And I did see an enterprising young lady taking various photos of us.  A reporter or photographer for the local newspaper?  Or would our encounter go viral on the internet?  I couldn’t wait to find out.

Priscilla had stood back and watched the fun.  So did a dozen or so others who probably knew exactly who they were.  We both waited until they had left the terminal building before moving on ourselves.

“You should just get back on the plane,” she said.  “You still can.  I know the airline staff.”

“It might seem a little rocky at the moment, but the test of a couple’s relationship is to be thrown from the frying pan into the fire.  The whole episode feels like a hiccup moment in a romance movie.  I’m guessing for a while that they were the star attraction given their school graduation and parents standing.”

“What did you read?”

“Nearly all of the back copies of the newspaper for a hundred years.  Might as well be prepared.”

“Did it tell you that neither of them wanted to become a spectacle?  That was Gabby’s mother, who had to take a simple childhood romance and turn it into headline news.  It might have worked had John not believed the story.  Yes, Gabby liked him, yes, they were cute together, but no, Gabby didn’t love him.  After it was broadcast far and wide and their friendship was put under such a large microscope, it became too much.  The only place for Gabby to go was as far away from here as she could get.”

“And he still doesn’t get it?”

“To be honest, John is not a man of the world.  He lacks sophistication, he is a hopeless scholar but is a good football player.  Good enough, but not that good.  He played college football but not NFL as such and just faded into obscurity.  He married twice, but his heart is not in it.  He thinks the only girl for him is Gabby.”

“Well, we’ll know soon enough if she is or isn’t.  I’m not going to force her to choose.”

“Do you love her?”

“Would I be here if I didn’t?  The girl I know from New York, that’s not her who got off the plane.  It’s like we stepped through a portal into another world with another Gabby.’

“For a lot of people, it’s hell.  if you come from a small town like this, you’ll know what it’s like.  We keep getting told it’s going to get better.”

“It isn’t much better in the big cities, just more people and more problems.    If I hadn’t met Gabby, I would have been going home myself permanently.”

“Farmer or rancher?”

“Ranch, though my older brother runs it while my parents see the world from a cruise ship, one long endless cruise, it seems.  Still, it could be worse.”

“You’re right.  That will be tomorrow morning when you meet the three witches.” 

…

©  Charles Heath 2024

…

…

It often came as a surprise to anyone who knew me that I reached adulthood with anything that resembled sanity.

My parents died early in my life, when j was about seven, probably a good age, if it could be said that there was anything good about it, having been shoved in a boarding school, and having parents who travelled the world as diplomats.  They had been interested in everything bar their son, so consequently I didn’t miss them as much as I should.

But…

What to do with a seven-year-old that no one really wanted.  I remember sitting in the headmaster’s office waiting to be taken to the funeral.  I didn’t know what to expect, all the headmaster had said was that my grandparents were coming.

That gave me a choice.  My father’s parents, the severe, strict, bible-thumping minister and his wife, a more sinister-looking pair than anything I’d seen before and was positively petrified when we visited them twice a year.

Then there were my mother’s parents who lived in a castle, not the fairy tale sort, but one with over a hundred rooms and a dungeon, and places where children should never venture.  Of course, telling a child no was the same as saying go for it, and that was a source of contention.

Needless to say, I knew who I wanted it to be.

Equally, I knew who I wanted to live with, but we always never got what we wanted, or so I had been told repeatedly by everyone.

So, until I was old enough to leave school and fend for myself, I had to split my time between the two, not that there was much left after school.  And, yes, neither took me out of boarding school, deciding that a break in my routine would be a disaster.

Nobody thought to ask me my opinion.

When I left school, finally, it was with the necessary qualifications, but not necessarily life skills.  Those were supposedly learned in the family environment.  Of the two, if I strictly applied what I learned in those few brief weeks at home each year was, on one hand, eccentric based on based on the notion I would become a minister, or eccentricity based on the notion I would become lord of the manor.

At no time was it suggested I would become a diplomat, even though I had applied when my parents’ old boss who came to the funeral offered me a pass to join the ranks after graduation.  You know, like father like son.

It gave me an escape, to get away from the stifling life I’d had for the past twelve years, standing at the station waiting for the train to take me away from basically everything I knew, and everyone, it seemed like the end of the world.

Perhaps then, had I not accepted an invitation to go on a holiday with Horace Arbuthnot Esq., my life might have turned out a lot differently.

Or not.  After all, destiny is what it was because it was not written in stone.

Twenty years on, when looking back, it seemed almost an eternity.

That summer, the year I turned eighteen, was memorable for many reasons.  I started out being introduced to Horace’s family and acquaintances as the eccentric Mr Alexander Wilberstone, the only son of highly regarded diplomatic problem solvers who disappeared mysteriously in the uncharted jungle of Africa.

The way he spun the tale was so much different from the reality of what happened, being gunned down on the back streets of Nairobi in a random drive-by shooting. I was, at that time, almost as mysterious as my parents, and the sort of character that added street cred to a lonely boy with no friends.

I didn’t tell him I was in the same boat, but since I was heading for the minister’s manse anything other than that was a godsend.  Besides, I like Horace and the tales he spun to make his ordinary life far more interesting.  And the fact he used my looks and charm to get girls to come and talk to us.

That was the second memorable thing about that year, Anna Louise Romano, an American girl with her family visiting Italian relations in Florence. 

She had a friend who I eventually discovered had been planning to meet Horace in Italy and it only dawned on me later why he seemed to move about constantly seeking tourist attractions and after each visit, noticing his mounting despair.

That of course led to the third thing about turning eighteen, it unlocked my inheritance which was, when an old dusty lawyer in an old dusty office right out of a Dickens novel, told me one dusty afternoon in London.  It was, to an eighteen-year-old, an unimaginably large sum to do whatever I liked.

Within reason, of course.  The minister and the lord of the manor had taught me one thing; to be miserly.

Perhaps Horace had known about it. He certainly knew everything about everyone, ensuring he was not bullied or his friends, the advantage of which I recognised early on.  He was always perpetually short on funds and was always going to pay me back, the mysteriously unavailable funds just about to drop when…  well put any excuse you like in there.

I didn’t mind paying his way.  Twelve years of friendship needed repaying.  And I regarded it my job to ensure he got to meet the love of his life. As for myself, just enough time to fall hopelessly in love, to spend the most incredible four weeks of my life, and then watch her slip through my fingers like the sands of an hourglass.

Horace was lucky, though, in time, he convinced me that very little came to anyone being lucky.  He married his girl, moved to Tuscany, started a vineyard and winery, and told me I had a home any time I wanted one.

I travelled the world, noted all the shortcomings of travel agencies, and everything else in between and created an app that solved firstly my problems and then everyone else’s and sold it for a staggeringly large sum, more staggering than the original inheritance, and on the very day of my thirty-eighth birthday moved into a quaint loft in Brooklyn, New York, to contemplate my next venture.

And as it happened, Horace and Beverly were in the city, and I was taking them to dinner, a sort of birthday party to celebrate everything.  All that was missing was the girl I could share my life with.

I’d tried over the years, but there was never that one, not the Anna Louise Remano that I fell in love with and would never forget, as much as I tried to.  But don’t get me wrong.  I was happy.  I had experienced in those few short weeks what many couples never could in a lifetime.

The restaurant was not far from the apartment, and I’d invited Horace to stay with me, far less expensive than a hotel, and easier for me to show them the city starting the next day.  They had brought their children two remarkable but seemingly unrelated people who had ideas of their own that didn’t include being seen with us old people.  I hired a nanny, much to their dismay.  Until they met her.

We walked, the evening warm but not hot.  It was an ideal time of the year.  Horace was different. He’d lost weight and was looking fit and healthy, more than he had when he was a child.  Life in the countryside, hard work, and finding the perfect partner had cast a spell on him.  I was happy for him. His life had always been harder than mine.

But there was something.  It was like he had a secret, and it was going to burst out of him.  He was making small talk, and he only ever did that when he had a secret and was trying hard not to spill it

Until that moment…

When we reached the restaurant, he opened the door for me.  Usually, it was the other way around.  I gestured for Beverly to go first, but she hung back.

Had he invited one of our old friends, one I hadn’t seen for a long time.  He’d been skirting around the old memories, the time we had been in Florence, taken the train to Piza and driven to Venice.

The mention of Venice had brought back a flood of memories, all of which involved what I had believed to be the love of my life.

Anna Louise Romano.

And the moment I stepped through that door, I knew she was there.  It didn’t matter that the restaurant was crowded, I had that tingling sensation go up and down my spine.

And it was as if the crowd parted and there standing before me was the girl herself, all grown up and as beautiful as the first day I saw her.

Then he was beside me.  “Surprise!”

“How? Where?”

“You were just two ships passing in the night, Alex.  She’s recovering from a nasty divorce, so treat her with kid gloves.  Who knows what might happen?”

…

…

Like many who endured their school years with one endgame in mind, to get as far away as possible from those and the people in it, as soon as I completed high school, I was going to be on the first bus out.

Unlike others, there was nothing to keep in there, my father had died in the last year and my mother had moved on to a new family, and it was evident in not so many words that I was not welcome to stay.

Nor were there very many employment opportunities because like many other rural towns and cities, unless you were from an agricultural background, a tradesman, or simply wanted a dead-end job, there was little reason to stay.

Of course, there was always one minor hiccup in what could have been a perfect getaway.

Mine was called Francine Macallister.

We became friends in elementary school, not by choice but from being thrown together by circumstances.  Her parents had died in a car crash when she was twelve, and my mother, being a close friend of the family, took her in rather than let her be taken into foster care.

As an only child, I hated the fact that I had to share my parents’ affection, and then when it seemed she was given more consideration.  When we argued or fought, it was always my fault.  It seemed to me that after a while, they liked her more than me.

It was like having a real sister, and I hated her.  She was popular with the boys and often found ways to make my life difficult, and on several occasions found myself in a fight which I preferred not to be involved.  All it did was reinforce my resolve to get on that bus.

That decision to leave was not made in haste, nor was I making a leap into the unknown.

For several years, I had worked several jobs to save every cent I could because I knew I was going to need a stake in case I could not immediately find work.  I had a room lined up where I was going to stay until something better came up.

I told no one of my intentions because I didn’t want to explain why I was going, which I thought was obvious, or where I was going.  But there were people I had to deal with, and this was a small enough town for everyone to know everyone else’s business if they were that curious.

I didn’t think anyone would care

Then, finally, school was over.  I woke up that Monday morning, knowing that within hours, I would be out of this house forever.  All I had to do was contain my excitement.

I had already packed my travel bag and left it at the bus depot several days before.  When I left, it would be as if I was going down to the library to study up on work opportunities in the area, a routine I had maintained over several weeks, mostly to get out of the house, and to keep away from Francine and her friends.

At the end of the school year, everyone was home and in the dining room.  Only recently, my mother had begun a relationship with another man, a widower with three children under 10 of his own, which she seemed to end up caring for.  They were as snarky as Francine, and it forced me to move up my plans to leave.

With any luck, it was going to be the last time I saw any of them again.

Francine was dressed, ready to go out, and was eating some vegan cereal, having decided not to eat meat, and looked up as I came into the room.  I saw the others and stopped.

“You’re up late,” she said.

I wanted to be fully rested for what lay ahead.  “No need to get up until I get a job.”

“Not considering going to college?”

I’d been told there was no money for me to go to college a year or so ago and decided that I’d probably never be in a position to go.  “No.  Grades weren’t good enough.  Probably should have studied harder.”

My mother glared at me.  “That’s because you’re as useless as your father.  The quicker you get a job and can pay your way, the better.”

Thanks for the compliment, Mom.

“Exactly my thoughts.  I’m working on it.”

Francine took her plate to the sink and then came back.  “I can see you’re off to the library.  Mind if I come with you?”

It was the last thing I wanted.  She’d never bothered before, and it set off alarm bells.  And that expression on her face, she was up to something.

“Why?”  It came out blunter than I intended.

“Why not?”

“You’re not interested in getting a job.  Didn’t you say you were going to college?”

She was only going because her current boyfriend, Bradley Scott, the eldest son of the town’s hardware and agricultural machinery dealership owner, the richest family in town, was going, and she was joining him.  There was only one problem, funding.

“I might.  Bradley’s going, and he wanted me to go too.”

“Then perhaps you should be looking into college life rather than pestering me.”

“But I like pestering you.”

“Take your sister with you, Sam, and stop being an ass.”

“I hate to break it to you Mom, she’s not my sister.  Never was, and never will be.  And as much as you don’t care, she’s done nothing but make my life miserable.”

I saw the expression on Francine’s face, and oddly, I thought it was one of hurt.  It was hardly possible given the way she had treated me recently.

“That’s a terrible thing to say, Sam.”  My mother stopped what she was doing and looked at me.

“What, you think it’s been all wine and roses since she moved in?  Wow.  What planet have you been on?  You know what.  I don’t want to deal with this anymore.  You think what you like.  I’ll find a job and get out of your hair.”

That said, I walked quickly to the front door, opened it, stepped out onto the patio, and closed it behind me.  I was going to wait for the bus into town, but instead, I was so very angry. I decided to walk off my temper.

By the time I reached the next intersection, about fifty years from home I heard someone coming up behind me.

I turned to see Francine.

She was probably the only person who could derail my plans.

It would create an unnecessary problem if I ignored her, so I waited until she caught up.

“What are you doing,” I asked.  “You have never been interested in anything to do with me unless it involved Bradley and his idiot friends beating me up.”

“You hate me that much?”

“Would it matter if I did or didn’t?  You’ve detested me ever since the day my mother took you in.  Whatever life I had before that was gone and replaced with what could be described as hell on earth.  Hate isn’t a strong enough word.”

“Is that why you’re leaving town?”

I glared at her.  There was no way she could know what I was doing.

“You’re as delusional as my mother.  Go home and figure new ways to make me miserable.”

I walked off, hoping she’d get the message.

Of course, she didn’t.

“Angie’s mother works at the bus depot.  She said you got a ticket to New York.  Didn’t say when you were going, but I’m guessing it’s soon.”

I shook my head.  Of course, Francine would know someone with a mother who pried into other people’s business.  They probably had a meeting of busybodies every Wednesday at city hall.

“Where would I get the notion I could do anything that smart or have the money.  You heard my mother, I’m a good for nothing. You’ve even said so yourself.  If anyone was leaving this dump, it would be Bradley and you.  Prom Queen and King.  You were ordained as the couple who were most likely to succeed.”

It came as no surprise that she and Bradley were given the money his father donated to the school.

She grabbed my shoulder and stopped me.

“You know, I’ve always had a notion that you liked me, Sam.  I could never work out why you always simply ignored me.  Just now, I can see why.  If nothing had happened to my parents, we might have become more than friends over time.  What you said back home, that the day I moved in it was the day your life ended.  You meant your life with me, didn’t you?”

I had worked so hard to suppress any feelings I had for her.  It would have seemed utterly wrong to suggest that I had.  In a sense, she was right.  Until the day she moved in, our lives together had been perfect.  Now, it was reduced to just watching her make a fool of herself with others.

“It doesn’t matter what you think I think or thought or cared about.  You have a life.  I have a version of purgatory.  I can’t live in that house, and my mother has made it perfectly clear. I’m not wanted with that new gaggle she’s invited in.  Sleeping rough in the park is infinitely more preferable.”

“I treated you badly because I didn’t think you liked me anymore.  I just suffered the loss of my parents, and then I lost my best friend in the world. Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“You know why.”

“We’re not related like you said.  I was never your sister, and I never will be.”

“It’s not how the busybodies of this place will see it.  You should be concentrating on landing the town’s biggest fish.  He had rough edges, but I’m sure time and a big stick will sort them out.  Now, whatever you think this was, it wasn’t.  Go home, be happy.  Forget I ever existed.  My mother has.”

“You’re wrong.  About a lot of things.  But whatever.  I won’t tell anyone.  I don’t want to part ways with you thinking I’m the worst thing that ever happened to you.”

With that, she turned and headed back home.

At least she had one to go to.

I nearly changed my mind a dozen times during the day.

I spent a lot of time going over the words of that last conversation and realised that, at the time, I had been so wrapped up in my own self-pity that I hadn’t really listened.

Then, in a moment of clarity, I realised she said she believed I liked her? But was that at the beginning, during, or at the end? Certainly, I had been very much in love with her by the time she arrived at our house and at a time when I had been hoping it might go further.

The thing is, I had always liked her, but I never dared to tell her how I felt.  That I was planning to do, and that’s when timing became my enemy.  It was just before her parents had died.

It was that first brash moment of our teens when feelings ran high and every little nuance of a relationship could cause instant joy or utter despair.  I had the feeling she felt the same as I did and was going to tell her.

Then, it all fell apart.

When she moved in, my instant joy quite literally turned to utter despair.  There was no possible way  I could ever contemplate a romantic relationship with the girl that everyone labelled my sister.

Society’s expectations did not include a romantic relationship between a brother and sister even if we were quite clearly not.

So, we became another of society’s expectations between a brother and sister. We began to fight like cats and dogs.

At first, I thought she was surprised, but my recollection of that time was scant because I was battling a broken heart and another of those teenage angst, getting through teens and being bullied at school.

Whatever happened, I did what I had to to keep the thoughts of her out of my head.  I tried being the brother I thought she would expect to want and instead found her finding ways to make my life miserable.  What was the saying? No good deed goes unpunished.

It didn’t matter in the end, whether I liked her or not or whether she liked me, which I seriously doubted.  I couldn’t wait to get on that bus and leave town.  Forever.

That walk from the library to the bus depot was the longest of my life.  Still, the thoughts were swirling about the effect it would have on my mother and perhaps Francine. I was still telling myself neither cared what happened to me.

But what was worse, with everything that had happened in the last 24 hours, she was once again in my thoughts in a way she shouldn’t be.  I had to get my head in the right space. Otherwise, I was going to be just as miserable. Only the view out the window would be different.

I picked a night when there would be more activity at the bus depot because being the only person I would stand out. 

I was planning to leave unnoticed, and so far, half a dozen other passengers were sitting along the seats.  One thing I’d noticed every time I’d come to check it out, no one came to see anyone off and rarely was anyone there to greet arrivals.

Perhaps no one cared if you left and perhaps arrivals didn’t want people to know they’ve returned.  Whatever the reasons, it suited my stealthy departure.

My thoughts were interrupted by an announcement that the bus was running ten minutes late, then by another passenger who was leaving, sitting two seats up from me.

I turned to glance in her direction and recognised her immediately.  Francine.

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I’m leaving this town.  There’s nothing here for me anymore.”

“You have a family, a home, and people who care about you.”

I gave her my best, incredulous look.  “What planet are you from, and what have you done with the real Francine?”

“Why are you really leaving?”

“It doesn’t matter.  Go home and forget about me.”

It was her turn to look incredulously at me.  “That would be difficult, Sam.  Had you asked me this morning how I felt about you, we might not be here.”

“It would not.  No matter what I feel or what you feel, it can’t be.”

“Because we’re brother and sister.  Even though this morning, I was never your sister. I wondered about that statement and initially thought it meant that I’d never acted like one, even though I know you tried to be a brother.  Then I realised, later, what you meant.  We had been friends before I moved in.  I had hopes that we might be special friends, I liked you that much, and perhaps at that time, it was the first pangs of love.  I thought you felt the same.

“I was disappointed that events turned out the way they did, but it was better than going into the foster system.  It ruined any chance we had of taking our relationship further.  Bradley used to say that you were in love with me. I think you came to the conclusion, that our new situation would never allow our feelings for each other, long before that, simply because we were, in his and everyone else’s eyes, brother and sister.

“You were right, of course.  We’re not.  It was the reason why I stayed within the foster system and kept my name.  I refused to be adopted or change my name to yours.  I had this silly notion that eventually you’d get out of your funk, and we could run away together.  I wanted to leave too, but like you, I couldn’t until I was eighteen.

“Well, this morning I told your mother I was leaving.  I thanked her for the five years she put up with me.  She asked if you were going with me?  It was a curious question, and I said no.  She simply shrugged and handed me an envelope with a bus ticket and an address where I could find a friend of hers.  The ticket is for this bus.  Your bus.  And I suspect the friend’s address is yours.  Your mother is no fool, Sam.  She’s known the anguish you’ve suffered. Once I realised how much you loved me, the last five years made complete sense.

“You could have told me at any time.  You might have saved yourself a lot of anguish.  But men are all the same, trying to be the strong, uncomplaining silent type.” She shook her head.  “You’d better be a lot more communicative from now on.”

She stood and held out her hand.  The bus was pulling into the bay.  Three others getting on were moving towards the gate.

I took it in mine, and all the grief of the last five years melted away.  She smiled that beautiful smile that could light up a room and a smile that had been missing for so long.  A tear ran down her left cheek.

“And don’t ever make me give another of those speeches ever again.  Ever, you hear.”

“I promise. Hey, what about Bradley.  You two seemed very cosy together.”

“That.  That was just to make you mad.  It seemed it worked almost too well.”

“Then don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.  I promise.”

The ticket collector was waiting impatiently by the door waiting for us.  We crossed to the door, gave him the tickets which he punched, and then got on the bus.

There were two seats side by side about the middle.  She sat in the window seat, not that there would be much to see.  I got comfortable and then took her hand in mine.  She smiled when I looked at her. 

“Ready?”

“I am.”

She squeezed my hand, the door closed, and the bus moved away from the bay.  For better or worse, we were on our way.  A last glance back, I momentarily wondered if either of us would ever come back.

One day, maybe.

…