What I learned about writing – The unexpected detour

The Unexpected Detour: Trading Familiar Fame for Fresh Inspiration

We are creatures of habit, especially when those habits have led to success. When we find our niche—that specific genre, that particular skill set, that familiar market where our reputation is solid—we settle in. We build our brand around it, we become known for it, and we reap the rewards of what I like to call “pout fame”—the reputation we tirelessly poured ourselves into earning.

But what happens when the GPS suddenly recalculates? What happens when a project falls through, a client demands a skill you rarely use, or a personal experience shoves you, politely or otherwise, onto an entirely different path?

The detour is mandatory. The question is: do you treat it as a road bump or a reconnaissance mission?


The Comfort (and Constraint) of the Known Road

For a professional writer, artist, or entrepreneur, the familiarity of the known path is powerful. If you are the established authority on historical fiction, stepping sideways to write a children’s book feels like a monumental risk or, worse, a waste of time. If you’re a renowned brand strategist, taking a temporary gig managing a local community centre seems completely off-brand.

We cling to our niche because it represents safety, predictability, and income. We fear that if we take our focus off the main product, the audience will forget us, or worse, perceive us as unfocused.

The irony is that this commitment to the familiar eventually becomes the most fertile ground for creative drought. When you do the same thing in the same way for too long, the machine might keep moving, but the spark fades. You are solving the same problems, using the same mental muscles, and drawing from the same well of inspiration.

This is precisely why the unintentional interlude is a gift.

The Power of the Accidental Assignment

The unexpected detour forces you to use different muscles. It is a creative palette cleanser.

Perhaps you, known for gritty memoirs, suddenly find yourself ghostwriting a guide on sustainable gardening. Perhaps your expertise in complex data architecture leads you to a temporary volunteer role organising a major arts festival. These interludes are not your core business, so the pressure is different, the stakes feel lower, and that pressure release is key to unlocking new thought patterns.

When you are led down another path, two crucial things happen:

1. You Gain New Data Sets

Every experience, especially those outside our comfort zone, feeds the creative core. The language you learn while writing about gardening might provide the perfect metaphor for a struggling relationship in your next memoir. The logistical problem-solving required for the arts festival might provide a brilliant structural framework for your next white paper.

The inspiration you gain from the detour is often fuel for your established genre—just in a subtler, richer form. It’s not about abandoning your genre; it’s about making your genre deeper.

2. You Break the Creative Feedback Loop

Our brains love efficient pathways. When we write in a genre (or work in a field) for years, we develop grooves. The unintentional interlude yanks the needle out of the groove. It forces you to think like a beginner again, look up new terminology, and engage with a world that doesn’t operate by your established rules. This struggle is where innovation resides.

The Crossroad: Take It or Take a Holiday?

The core question remains: When this unexpected inspiration strikes, do you embrace it completely, or is the detour simply a sign that you need a vacation?

Often, we frame creative exploration as a necessary rest. We believe that if we aren’t focusing on our ‘main thing,’ we must be taking a holiday. But this is a false dichotomy.

The Creative Detour is a Form of Necessary Rest.

If the unexpected path genuinely energises you, if it sparks ideas and makes you feel excited about the act of creating again, take it.

This is not a distraction; it is an investment in creative renewal. The mistake is equating productive time only with the activities that directly generated your “pout fame.” The new path might not lead to immediate income in your usual stream, but it will prevent the greater cost: burnout and creative stagnation.

If the detour feels like a chore, if it drains you, or if the new inspiration feels thin and forced—then you need a holiday. You need genuine downtime, silence, and recovery.

The differentiator is always energy. Does this unexpected road drain your reserves or replenish them?

Permission to Deviate

The most successful creators rarely stay tethered to a single, narrow output. They allow themselves to be influenced by the tangential, the accidental, and the unfamiliar. They treat their career not as a single railway line, but as a vast, interconnected landscape.

So, the next time life or work pushes you onto an unpaved road—whether you were led willingly or otherwise—don’t resist the scenery. Don’t immediately try to navigate back to the familiar highway just because it’s faster.

Look out the window. Collect the data. Listen to the new language.

The greatest inspiration for your next masterpiece might not be found in the genre you dominate, but in the unintentional interlude that showed you the world through brand new eyes. Take the inspiration. The holiday can wait until the tank is actually empty.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – My Second Story 27

More about my second novel

It sounds like it’s a start on the blurb…

Like any book that is the second in a series, there is that inevitable question – What am I going to write about now?

You’re fighting off the, everyone had at least one book in them, and sitting down staring at that blank page because maybe your character has found the woman of his dreams, and there’s no need to chase anymore.

Who said Zoe had any interest in settling down?

She has missed getting out there and doing a job she is good at.

But rather than have her hunting people down, I thought it would be better if she were the one being hunted.

The thing is, she had managed to make more than one enemy over the years. And given the bounty, it brings old foes and fellow assassins out of the woodwork and into her path.

And a few people she had left behind, intentionally or otherwise.

But, the least expected, armed with a pair of dogged private detectives, is her newest friend, and want-to-be boyfriend.

She should have realised that he was not going to go away like he was supposed to.

But, here’s the thing…

People on both sides are looking for her, each with very different reasons, but all have the same intention…

Revenge.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – My Second Story 27

More about my second novel

It sounds like it’s a start on the blurb…

Like any book that is the second in a series, there is that inevitable question – What am I going to write about now?

You’re fighting off the, everyone had at least one book in them, and sitting down staring at that blank page because maybe your character has found the woman of his dreams, and there’s no need to chase anymore.

Who said Zoe had any interest in settling down?

She has missed getting out there and doing a job she is good at.

But rather than have her hunting people down, I thought it would be better if she were the one being hunted.

The thing is, she had managed to make more than one enemy over the years. And given the bounty, it brings old foes and fellow assassins out of the woodwork and into her path.

And a few people she had left behind, intentionally or otherwise.

But, the least expected, armed with a pair of dogged private detectives, is her newest friend, and want-to-be boyfriend.

She should have realised that he was not going to go away like he was supposed to.

But, here’s the thing…

People on both sides are looking for her, each with very different reasons, but all have the same intention…

Revenge.

What I learned about writing – The happy ending debate

The Happy Ending Debate: Is It All About Where You Stop the Story?

We’ve all been there. Lost in a book, glued to a screen, investing our emotions in characters and their journeys. As the story nears its end, a quiet hope stirs within us: Please, let them be happy. We crave resolution, comfort, and the satisfaction of knowing that, in this fictional world at least, good triumphs and love prevails.

But should every story culminate in a neat, tidy, and unequivocally happy ending? And more profoundly, is the ‘happiness’ of an ending simply a matter of where the author chooses to draw the final curtain?

The Allure of the Sunny Conclusion

There’s no denying the power and appeal of a happy ending. They offer:

  • Escapism: Life is often messy and unpredictable. Stories with joyous resolutions provide a much-needed mental break, a reminder that things can turn out well.
  • Hope: They validate our belief in perseverance, the triumph of good over evil, and the idea that our own struggles might eventually lead to brighter days.
  • Satisfaction: A happy ending can feel like a reward for the emotional investment we’ve made, a pleasant closure to a captivating experience.

From classic fairy tales to blockbuster rom-coms, these endings serve a vital purpose, leaving us with a warm feeling and a sense that balance has been restored.

The Unflinching Gaze of Reality

However, limiting all narratives to happy conclusions would be a disservice to the vast spectrum of human experience. Sometimes, stories need to:

  • Reflect Reality: Life isn’t always fair, and not every conflict resolves harmoniously. Stories that acknowledge pain, loss, and unresolved tension can be incredibly powerful and resonant.
  • Provoke Thought: Tragic or ambiguous endings often linger longer in the mind, prompting deeper reflection on themes, choices, and consequences.
  • Offer Catharsis: Witnessing a character’s journey through suffering, even if it doesn’t end happily, can be a form of emotional release and understanding for the audience.
  • Teach and Warn: Some stories serve as cautionary tales or explorations of the darker sides of humanity, and a happy ending would undermine their core message.

Think of literary classics, historical dramas, or poignant independent films – their power often lies in their refusal to sugarcoat the human condition.

The Art of the Final Frame: Where Do You Stop?

This brings us to the most intriguing part of the debate: Is a happy ending simply a matter of narrative framing?

Consider this: Is a character’s failure truly the end, or is it merely the lowest point before a potential rise? Is a bittersweet goodbye truly sad, or is it a necessary step towards individual growth and new beginnings?

  • Life is Continuous: In reality, our stories don’t stop. A “happy ending” might just be a moment of respite before the next challenge, and a “tragic ending” could be the catalyst for profound change in others.
  • The Power of Hope: An ending doesn’t have to be happy to be hopeful. A character might face immense loss, but the final scene could show them finding a glimmer of purpose, taking a first step towards healing, or inspiring others to carry on. This isn’t happiness in the traditional sense, but it offers forward momentum.
  • The Reader’s Imagination: Sometimes, an author intentionally leaves an ending open, trusting the audience to imagine what comes next. What feels unresolved to one person might feel like an invitation for possibility to another. The “end” of the story is merely where the author stops narrating; the characters’ lives, in our minds, continue.
  • Satisfying vs. Happy: A story can have a satisfying ending without being strictly happy. It can be satisfying because it feels earned, logical, and true to the characters and themes, even if it’s painful or melancholic.

Crafting the Right Conclusion

Ultimately, whether a story should have a happy ending isn’t a universal rule, but a deliberate choice. It depends on:

  • The Genre: Rom-coms and fairytales thrive on happiness; noir and tragedies demand a different tone.
  • The Story’s Purpose: Is it meant to uplift, entertain, challenge, or reflect?
  • The Characters’ Journeys: Does a happy ending feel organic and earned, or forced and unrealistic, given what the characters have endured and become?

So, should every story have a happy ending? Probably not. But should every story offer some form of resolution, be it hopeful, cathartic, or thought-provoking? Absolutely.

The true magic lies in the storyteller’s ability to know precisely where to stop, leaving us not necessarily with boundless joy, but with a feeling that the journey was complete, meaningful, and true – even if the sun isn’t shining quite so brightly in that final frame.


What do you think? Do you prefer happy endings, or do you find more satisfaction in realistic or even tragic conclusions? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 184

Day 184 – Show, don’t tell

The Art of the Landscape: What Thomas Hardy Taught Ursula K. Le Guin About “Showing, Not Telling”

Every writer has heard the golden rule: “Show, don’t tell.”

It is the advice that launches a thousand creative writing workshops, yet it remains one of the most misunderstood concepts in literature. Does it mean you can never state an emotion? Does it mean your prose must be purely cinematic?

To find the true essence of this rule, we can look to a master of the craft, Ursula K. Le Guin. In her legendary essays on writing, Le Guin often pointed to a specific, masterful example of environmental storytelling: the opening chapter of Thomas Hardy’s The Return of the Native.

Here is how Hardy uses the landscape of Egdon Heath to redefine what it meant to “show” an entire world before a single character ever speaks.


The Trap of “Telling”

When beginners are told to “show,” they often interpret it as a directive to describe every micro-movement—“She clenched her fist, her knuckles turning white, showing her anger.”

While this is “showing,” it is literal and often clunky. True “showing” is about atmosphere, mood, and implication. It is about placing the reader in a space where they can feel the truth of the situation without being lectured by the author.

The Lesson from Egdon Heath

In the first chapter of The Return of the Native, Thomas Hardy does something radical. He doesn’t introduce a hero, a villain, or a dialogue-driven incident. Instead, he introduces the heath itself.

As Ursula K. Le Guin noted in her workshops, Hardy treats Egdon Heath not as a backdrop, but as a living, breathing participant in the story. He writes:

“The place became full of a watchful intentness now; for when other things sank brooding to sleep the heath appeared slowly to awake and listen.”

Hardy is doing something extraordinary here. He is “showing” the reader the tone of the entire novel before the plot begins. He doesn’t tell us, “The setting is oppressive, ancient, and indifferent to human suffering.” Instead, he describes the heath as a creature that “awaits” and “listens.”

Why Le Guin Admired This Approach

Le Guin championed this passage because it teaches writers that environment is character.

By spending pages describing the soil, the colours of the heath, the shadows, and the way the light dies over the horizon, Hardy creates a sense of foreboding. He shows the reader that the human lives within this book will be small, fragile, and ultimately at the mercy of this vast, prehistoric landscape.

If Hardy had simply told us, “The story takes place in a lonely, haunting part of England where people struggle against nature,” the reader would have accepted it as a fact. But by showing it—by making the heath look, act, and “feel”—the reader experiences that loneliness in their own bones.

Three Ways to Apply the “Hardy-Le Guin” Method

If you want to move beyond the surface-level interpretation of “show, don’t tell,” try these three strategies:

1. Use the Setting to Establish Stakes

Don’t just have your characters walk through a room. Have the room reflect the state of the story. If a marriage is failing, show the dust on the mantle or the way the light doesn’t quite reach the chairs. Make your setting a reflection of your underlying themes.

2. Let the Landscape “Listen”

Hardy gave the heath a sense of “watchful intentness.” What is your setting doing? Is the city you are writing in hostile? Does the forest feel like it’s holding its breath? Giving your setting semi-sentient traits can anchor your reader in the mood of the piece instantly.

3. Trust the Reader’s Intelligence

Hardy didn’t need to summarise the history of Egdon Heath. He trusted the reader to pick up the vibe of the place through the sensory language he used. When you write, pull back on the adjectives and lean into the gestures of your environment.

The Takeaway

“Show, don’t tell” isn’t about avoiding exposition; it’s about making your exposition experiential.

As Ursula K. Le Guin taught, the best writers don’t just dump information on the reader. They build a world so tactile and evocative that the “meaning” of the story is felt long before it is understood. Take a page from Hardy: ignore the plot for a moment, look at the world you’ve built, and ask yourself—is my setting just a stage, or is it alive?

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 184

Day 184 – Show, don’t tell

The Art of the Landscape: What Thomas Hardy Taught Ursula K. Le Guin About “Showing, Not Telling”

Every writer has heard the golden rule: “Show, don’t tell.”

It is the advice that launches a thousand creative writing workshops, yet it remains one of the most misunderstood concepts in literature. Does it mean you can never state an emotion? Does it mean your prose must be purely cinematic?

To find the true essence of this rule, we can look to a master of the craft, Ursula K. Le Guin. In her legendary essays on writing, Le Guin often pointed to a specific, masterful example of environmental storytelling: the opening chapter of Thomas Hardy’s The Return of the Native.

Here is how Hardy uses the landscape of Egdon Heath to redefine what it meant to “show” an entire world before a single character ever speaks.


The Trap of “Telling”

When beginners are told to “show,” they often interpret it as a directive to describe every micro-movement—“She clenched her fist, her knuckles turning white, showing her anger.”

While this is “showing,” it is literal and often clunky. True “showing” is about atmosphere, mood, and implication. It is about placing the reader in a space where they can feel the truth of the situation without being lectured by the author.

The Lesson from Egdon Heath

In the first chapter of The Return of the Native, Thomas Hardy does something radical. He doesn’t introduce a hero, a villain, or a dialogue-driven incident. Instead, he introduces the heath itself.

As Ursula K. Le Guin noted in her workshops, Hardy treats Egdon Heath not as a backdrop, but as a living, breathing participant in the story. He writes:

“The place became full of a watchful intentness now; for when other things sank brooding to sleep the heath appeared slowly to awake and listen.”

Hardy is doing something extraordinary here. He is “showing” the reader the tone of the entire novel before the plot begins. He doesn’t tell us, “The setting is oppressive, ancient, and indifferent to human suffering.” Instead, he describes the heath as a creature that “awaits” and “listens.”

Why Le Guin Admired This Approach

Le Guin championed this passage because it teaches writers that environment is character.

By spending pages describing the soil, the colours of the heath, the shadows, and the way the light dies over the horizon, Hardy creates a sense of foreboding. He shows the reader that the human lives within this book will be small, fragile, and ultimately at the mercy of this vast, prehistoric landscape.

If Hardy had simply told us, “The story takes place in a lonely, haunting part of England where people struggle against nature,” the reader would have accepted it as a fact. But by showing it—by making the heath look, act, and “feel”—the reader experiences that loneliness in their own bones.

Three Ways to Apply the “Hardy-Le Guin” Method

If you want to move beyond the surface-level interpretation of “show, don’t tell,” try these three strategies:

1. Use the Setting to Establish Stakes

Don’t just have your characters walk through a room. Have the room reflect the state of the story. If a marriage is failing, show the dust on the mantle or the way the light doesn’t quite reach the chairs. Make your setting a reflection of your underlying themes.

2. Let the Landscape “Listen”

Hardy gave the heath a sense of “watchful intentness.” What is your setting doing? Is the city you are writing in hostile? Does the forest feel like it’s holding its breath? Giving your setting semi-sentient traits can anchor your reader in the mood of the piece instantly.

3. Trust the Reader’s Intelligence

Hardy didn’t need to summarise the history of Egdon Heath. He trusted the reader to pick up the vibe of the place through the sensory language he used. When you write, pull back on the adjectives and lean into the gestures of your environment.

The Takeaway

“Show, don’t tell” isn’t about avoiding exposition; it’s about making your exposition experiential.

As Ursula K. Le Guin taught, the best writers don’t just dump information on the reader. They build a world so tactile and evocative that the “meaning” of the story is felt long before it is understood. Take a page from Hardy: ignore the plot for a moment, look at the world you’ve built, and ask yourself—is my setting just a stage, or is it alive?

What I learned about writing – Exploring our dreams

Unlocking the Night: Exploring the Mystical and the Mundane in Our Dreams

The moment our conscious minds drift into slumber, a new world unfurls. A world where gravity is optional, where the familiar can morph into the surreal, and where echoes of our waking lives mingle with the utterly bizarre. Dreams. They’ve captivated, puzzled, and inspired humanity for millennia, sparking endless debate about their true nature. Are they celestial messages whispered from beyond, or simply the chaotic rumblings of our own sleeping brains?

For many, dreams are indeed magical journeys. They offer an escape from the mundane, transporting us to fantastical landscapes, reuniting us with lost loved ones, or allowing us to fly through star-dusted skies. These are the dreams that linger, leaving us with a sense of wonder and a touch of longing for the ephemeral reality we briefly inhabited. They can feel profoundly significant, imbued with a wisdom or a warning that feels almost otherworldly. Think of the ancient interpretations, where dreams were seen as direct communications from deities or omens of the future. This perspective imbues our dreamscapes with a powerful, almost spiritual, aura.

On the other hand, the realm of psychology offers a compelling alternative: dreams as eruptions of the subconscious. Freud famously theorised that dreams are the “royal road to the unconscious,” a space where repressed desires, unresolved conflicts, and hidden anxieties can manifest in symbolic form. From this viewpoint, those fleeting images and nonsensical narratives are not random but are rather the deeply buried parts of ourselves fighting for attention. That recurring dream of being chased might not be a premonition of danger, but a symbolic representation of avoidance in our waking life. Understanding these subconscious eruptions can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and personal growth.

But how do we bridge these two seemingly disparate interpretations? And more importantly, how do we glean meaning from the often elusive tapestry of our dreams? For a growing number of individuals, the answer lies in a simple yet profound practice: keeping a dream journal.

The act of writing down your dreams, no matter how fragmented or strange they may seem, is an incredibly potent way to engage with your nocturnal adventures. It’s like catching fireflies in a jar – you’re capturing fleeting moments of light and then examining them more closely in the quiet of the morning.

Here’s why a dream journal can be so transformative:

  • Enhanced Recall: Dreams are notoriously fleeting. The moment you wake up, the images begin to fade. By immediately jotting down what you remember, you’re preserving these valuable fragments before they vanish into the ether. Even a few keywords or a fleeting image can trigger fuller memories later.
  • Pattern Recognition: Over time, you’ll start to notice recurring themes, symbols, and emotions in your dreams. This is where the real magic of a journal unfolds. Are you frequently encountering water? Are there specific people who keep appearing? These patterns can offer profound insights into your current emotional state, your subconscious concerns, and even your deepest aspirations.
  • Symbol Interpretation: While some dream symbols are universal, many are deeply personal. By seeing your symbols laid out in your journal, you can begin to decipher their unique meaning to you. What does that specific colour, that peculiar object, or that strange location represent in your personal lexicon?
  • Bridging the Gap: A dream journal can act as a bridge between the magical and the mundane. You can still appreciate the fantastical journeys while simultaneously seeking the underlying psychological messages. It allows for both wonder and introspection.
  • Boosting Creativity: Many artists, writers, and musicians draw inspiration directly from their dreams. A well-maintained dream journal can be a treasure trove of unique ideas, unexpected plot twists, and evocative imagery, fueling your creative endeavours.

Whether you view your dreams as whimsical escapades or as vital messages from your inner self, the practice of keeping a dream journal offers a tangible way to connect with this mysterious and often overlooked aspect of your existence. So, next time you wake with a phantom sensation or a lingering image, grab a notebook and pen. You might just be on the verge of unlocking a hidden world within yourself.

What are your thoughts on dreams? Do you keep a dream journal? Share your experiences in the comments below!

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 183

Day 183 – Words of Wisdom

The Symbiotic Cycle: Why Writing and Living Are Inseparable

“I shall live badly if I do not write, and I shall write badly if I do not live.” — Françoise Sagan

When the French novelist Françoise Sagan uttered these words, she wasn’t just talking about the craft of writing; she was defining the heartbeat of the creative process. For many, writing is a profession, a hobby, or a necessary outlet. But for the serious practitioner, writing is a metabolism. It is the process of converting life into art and art back into fuel for life.

But what does this delicate, circular balance actually mean for those of us who struggle to find time for both? Let’s break down the symbiotic relationship between lived experience and the written word.


Part I: “I shall live badly if I do not write”

For the dedicated writer, writing is not an extracurricular activity. It is a psychological hygiene practice. When we don’t write, the internal static—the observations, the frustrations, the fleeting moments of beauty—begins to clog our internal machinery.

  • Writing as Processing: Life is chaotic. We encounter grief, joy, and existential absurdity in rapid succession. Writing turns the abstract feelings of our day-to-day existence into something tangible. Without this outlet, we often “live badly” because we are carrying the weight of unexamined experiences.
  • The Clarity of Thought: Joan Didion famously said, “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means.” When you fail to write, you lose your internal compass. Writing forces you to articulate your values, which in turn helps you live with greater intention.

Part II: “I shall write badly if I do not live”

The flip side of Sagan’s coin is equally dangerous. If you retreat into a hermetically sealed room to write, believing that “inspiration” will strike you in isolation, your work will eventually suffer. This is the “Ivory Tower” trap.

  • The Well Must Be Refilled: You cannot pour from an empty cup. If your life is devoid of risk, conversation, sunlight, failure, and connection, your writing will begin to taste like stale water. Great writing requires the raw material of reality—the sensory details of a subway ride, the awkwardness of a first date, or the frustration of a broken-down car.
  • Empathy Requires Experience: Fiction and non-fiction alike rely on the writer’s ability to understand the human condition. If you don’t engage with the world, your characters become flat and your philosophy becomes theoretical. To write with depth, you must allow yourself to be hurt, surprised, and changed by the world outside your desk.

Part III: Finding the Equilibrium

How do we balance the need for the solitude of the page with the need for the chaos of the street?

  1. Immerse to Write: Give yourself periods of “active intake.” Read, travel, listen to podcasts, or volunteer. Make your life “messy” enough to give you something to analyse.
  2. Withdraw to Create: Set non-negotiable windows of time where the world is locked out. Use this time to distil what you’ve gathered.
  3. The Feedback Loop: Treat your life as research. When you are living, look for the “story”—what is the core emotion of this interaction? When you are writing, look for the “truth”—does this sentence reflect the way I truly feel, or is it just a cliché?

The Final Word

Françoise Sagan understood that a writer who stops living becomes a technician, and a person who stops writing becomes a passive observer of their own life.

To live well, you must synthesise your experience into meaning. To write well, you must be brave enough to step out into the world and get your boots dirty. So, go out and live a life worth writing about—then come home and put it on the page.


Are you struggling to balance your creative output with your daily life? Share your thoughts on how you keep your “well” full in the comments below.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 183

Day 183 – Words of Wisdom

The Symbiotic Cycle: Why Writing and Living Are Inseparable

“I shall live badly if I do not write, and I shall write badly if I do not live.” — Françoise Sagan

When the French novelist Françoise Sagan uttered these words, she wasn’t just talking about the craft of writing; she was defining the heartbeat of the creative process. For many, writing is a profession, a hobby, or a necessary outlet. But for the serious practitioner, writing is a metabolism. It is the process of converting life into art and art back into fuel for life.

But what does this delicate, circular balance actually mean for those of us who struggle to find time for both? Let’s break down the symbiotic relationship between lived experience and the written word.


Part I: “I shall live badly if I do not write”

For the dedicated writer, writing is not an extracurricular activity. It is a psychological hygiene practice. When we don’t write, the internal static—the observations, the frustrations, the fleeting moments of beauty—begins to clog our internal machinery.

  • Writing as Processing: Life is chaotic. We encounter grief, joy, and existential absurdity in rapid succession. Writing turns the abstract feelings of our day-to-day existence into something tangible. Without this outlet, we often “live badly” because we are carrying the weight of unexamined experiences.
  • The Clarity of Thought: Joan Didion famously said, “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means.” When you fail to write, you lose your internal compass. Writing forces you to articulate your values, which in turn helps you live with greater intention.

Part II: “I shall write badly if I do not live”

The flip side of Sagan’s coin is equally dangerous. If you retreat into a hermetically sealed room to write, believing that “inspiration” will strike you in isolation, your work will eventually suffer. This is the “Ivory Tower” trap.

  • The Well Must Be Refilled: You cannot pour from an empty cup. If your life is devoid of risk, conversation, sunlight, failure, and connection, your writing will begin to taste like stale water. Great writing requires the raw material of reality—the sensory details of a subway ride, the awkwardness of a first date, or the frustration of a broken-down car.
  • Empathy Requires Experience: Fiction and non-fiction alike rely on the writer’s ability to understand the human condition. If you don’t engage with the world, your characters become flat and your philosophy becomes theoretical. To write with depth, you must allow yourself to be hurt, surprised, and changed by the world outside your desk.

Part III: Finding the Equilibrium

How do we balance the need for the solitude of the page with the need for the chaos of the street?

  1. Immerse to Write: Give yourself periods of “active intake.” Read, travel, listen to podcasts, or volunteer. Make your life “messy” enough to give you something to analyse.
  2. Withdraw to Create: Set non-negotiable windows of time where the world is locked out. Use this time to distil what you’ve gathered.
  3. The Feedback Loop: Treat your life as research. When you are living, look for the “story”—what is the core emotion of this interaction? When you are writing, look for the “truth”—does this sentence reflect the way I truly feel, or is it just a cliché?

The Final Word

Françoise Sagan understood that a writer who stops living becomes a technician, and a person who stops writing becomes a passive observer of their own life.

To live well, you must synthesise your experience into meaning. To write well, you must be brave enough to step out into the world and get your boots dirty. So, go out and live a life worth writing about—then come home and put it on the page.


Are you struggling to balance your creative output with your daily life? Share your thoughts on how you keep your “well” full in the comments below.

What I learned about writing – Don’t preach, discover the truth

The Writer’s Quest: Not Preaching, But Discovering Truth

Milan Kundera, the literary titan behind “The Unbearable Lightness of Being,” posited a profound idea about the writer’s role: “To be a writer does not mean to preach the truth, it means to discover the truth.” This statement, seemingly simple, carries immense weight. It shifts our perception of literature from a didactic tool, a podium from which to dispense wisdom, to a more intricate, exploratory, and frankly, more human endeavour.

Think about the writers we truly admire. Are they the ones who confidently declare absolutes, who arrive with ready-made answers to life’s complex questions? Or are they the ones who delve into the murky depths of human experience, who ask the uncomfortable questions, who present us with characters grappling with dilemmas, whose narratives leave us with more to ponder than to accept? Kundera’s assertion points squarely to the latter.

The Perils of Preaching:

When a writer aims to “preach the truth,” they often fall into the trap of pronouncements and dogma. This can lead to a literature that feels rigid, self-righteous, and ultimately, less engaging. The reader, instead of being invited into a shared exploration, is positioned as a passive recipient, expected to nod in agreement. This approach can alienate, rather than connect, because it presumes a singular, universally applicable truth, which, as any honest observer of life knows, is a rare commodity.

Furthermore, the act of preaching implies certainty. But life, in its most compelling and resonant forms, is rarely certain. It’s a tapestry woven with doubt, ambiguity, and the constant negotiation between conflicting desires and circumstances. A writer who preaches a singular truth risks flattening this rich complexity, presenting a sanitised and incomplete version of reality.

The Power of Discovery:

Kundera’s alternative, “to discover the truth,” is an invitation to a journey. It acknowledges that truth is not a static object to be unearthed and displayed, but a fluid, multifaceted entity that can be approached from myriad angles. The writer, in this paradigm, becomes an explorer, venturing into the uncharted territories of the human psyche, societal structures, and the very fabric of existence.

This discovery process is inherently collaborative. The writer offers a map, a collection of observations, a series of carefully crafted questions, and the reader embarks alongside them. Through the act of reading, we engage with the writer’s discoveries, testing them against our own experiences, questioning them, and in doing so, forming our own understanding, our own truths.

What This Discovery Looks Like in Practice:

  • Embracing Ambiguity: Great literature often thrives on ambiguity. Characters are rarely all good or all bad. Situations are rarely clear-cut. The writer, through their art, allows these shades of gray to exist, inviting us to grapple with the moral and emotional complexities they represent. Think of the moral quandaries faced by characters in Dostoevsky or the existential struggles in Camus.
  • Asking Profound Questions: Instead of providing answers, the writer poses questions that resonate deeply. They might explore the nature of love, the weight of memory, the impact of power, or the search for meaning. These questions, presented through narrative and character, become prompts for our own introspection.
  • Illuminating the Human Condition: By focusing on the often-mundane yet profound experiences of individuals, writers can illuminate universal truths about what it means to be human. The act of observing and articulating these experiences, with honesty and nuance, is a form of discovery.
  • Challenging Assumptions: Effective writers don’t just reflect the world; they interrogate it. They use their stories to challenge our preconceived notions, to reveal hidden biases, and to offer fresh perspectives that might otherwise remain unseen.

In essence, Kundera’s statement liberates the writer. It frees them from the burden of certainty and empowers them to embrace the messy, beautiful, and often bewildering process of understanding. It reminds us that the true magic of literature lies not in being told what to believe, but in being guided to discover it for ourselves, thread by intricate thread, word by evocative word. And in that shared act of discovery, we find a deeper, more authentic connection to the stories we read and to each other.