Day 325

The Zero Draft – that old devil in the ointment, Writer’s block

…

The Tricksy Zero Draft: Taming the Beast of Writer’s Block

Writer’s block – that mythical monster that lurks in the deepest recesses of our minds, waiting to pounce and paralyse our creative output. Many a writer has fallen prey to its insidious grasp, staring blankly at a blinking cursor or a stack of pristine paper, unable to conjure even a single inspired sentence.

Among the most formidable foes in this battle is the Zero Draft. This elusive entity is the antithesis of progress, a paltry, unformed mass that masquerades as a first draft. It’s the when-in-Rome, throw-every-idea-against-the-wall, see-what-sticks approach that can leave even the most seasoned writers floundering in a sea of confusion and self-doubt.

So, how do you vanquish this devious demon and finally break free from its stranglehold on your writing muse? Here are a few battle-tested strategies to help you rise triumphant over the Zero Draft:

1. Lower Your Expectations: Recognise that your first pass at a piece of writing will rarely, if ever, be perfect. It’s the rough blueprint, the scaffolding upon which you’ll build something more substantial later on. Don’t expect to craft a masterpiece in a single, inspired burst; instead, focus on getting words on the page, no matter how messy or imperfect they may be.
2. Set a Timer and Write Drunk: Inspired by the famous Ernest Hemingway anecdote, this technique involves setting a timer for a fixed interval (20-30 minutes works well) and writing as freely and uninhibitedly as possible during that time. The resulting output may be chaotic, but it’s often a rich source of raw material to mine for later polishing and refinement.
3. Change Your Environment: Sometimes, a change of scenery can work wonders for sparking creativity and banishing the Zero Draft. Try writing in a different location, or at a different time of day. Even a simple rearrangement of your usual writing space can help jumpstart your imagination.
4. Collaborate with a Writing Buddy: The old adage “misery loves company” holds true when it comes to writer’s block. Having a fellow writer to share the struggle with can provide a much-needed motivational boost. Set a regular writing schedule with your partner and hold each other accountable for making progress, no matter how small.
5. Reward Progress, Not Perfection: Give yourself small rewards for reaching certain milestones, even if your writing is still far from polished. This could be something as simple as a favourite meal, a walk in the park, or an extra hour of reading time. By focusing on the journey rather than the destination, you can maintain a sense of momentum and purpose even when the words aren’t flowing as freely as you’d like.

In the end, the Zero Draft is merely a challenge to be overcome, a hurdle on the path to crafting something truly remarkable. By adopting these strategies and maintaining a stubborn commitment to the writing process, even the most intractable blocks can be breached, and the creative floodgates can finally be unleashed. So steel yourself, grab your pen (or keyboard), and march forth into the fray – your inner author is waiting to emerge, Zero Draft be damned.

Day 324

Writing is my passion. Words are the way to know ecstasy. Without them, life is barren

…

Beyond the Blank Page: The Soul-Stirring Ecstasy of Words

There are some truths that reside so deeply within us, they become the very architecture of our being. For me, one such truth burns with an undeniable intensity: Writing is my passion. It’s not just a hobby, a job, or even a skill; it is an intrinsic part of who I am, a fundamental impulse as vital as breathing.

From the quiet hum of an idea taking root to the frantic dance of fingers across a keyboard, the act of shaping thoughts into tangible form is where I find my truest self. It’s the thrill of discovery, the meticulous craft, the joyous agony of chasing the perfect phrase. Each sentence is a step, each paragraph a journey, and the finished piece, a new world brought into existence. This isn’t merely an urge; it’s a calling, a constant whisper from the muse that demands to be heard and translated.

But it’s more than just the act of writing; it’s what words themselves represent. For me, words are the way to know ecstasy. They are not just symbols on a page; they are vessels of emotion, architects of understanding, and bridges between disparate souls. There’s an almost alchemical magic in finding the exact verb that electrifies a scene, the precise adjective that paints a vivid image, or the perfectly structured sentence that unlocks a complex idea.

That moment when the right words click into place, when a jumbled thought suddenly unfurls into crystalline clarity, is nothing short of pure bliss. It’s a connection to something larger than myself – a universal language of human experience, memory, and imagination. Through words, we can travel across centuries, inhabit different lives, understand profound sorrow and boundless joy. They are the keys to unlocking empathy, the tools for building dreams, and the threads that weave the rich tapestry of human history and culture. The sheer power and beauty contained within a carefully chosen lexicon can make my spirit soar.

Conversely, the thought of a life without words, a world where expression is stifled, where stories are unwritten, and ideas remain trapped and untranslated, fills me with a profound sense of despair. Without them, life is barren. Imagine a landscape devoid of color, a symphony without sound, a conversation without meaning. That, to me, is a life without the richness that words provide.

It would be a silent, desolate existence, stripped bare of the nuances that define our humanity. How would we learn? How would we connect? How would we express love, grief, or triumph? Our history would be lost, our future unimaginable. The very essence of what makes us sentient, feeling beings would be muted, leaving behind only the hollow echo of what could have been.

So, yes, writing is my passion. But it’s because words are so much more than tools; they are the very lifeblood of meaning, connection, and transcendence. They are my anchors and my wings, the echoes of my soul, and the path to ecstasy. And for that, I am eternally grateful for every letter, every sentence, every story waiting to be told.

What about you? What are your words? What do they mean to you?

Day 324

Writing is my passion. Words are the way to know ecstasy. Without them, life is barren

…

Beyond the Blank Page: The Soul-Stirring Ecstasy of Words

There are some truths that reside so deeply within us, they become the very architecture of our being. For me, one such truth burns with an undeniable intensity: Writing is my passion. It’s not just a hobby, a job, or even a skill; it is an intrinsic part of who I am, a fundamental impulse as vital as breathing.

From the quiet hum of an idea taking root to the frantic dance of fingers across a keyboard, the act of shaping thoughts into tangible form is where I find my truest self. It’s the thrill of discovery, the meticulous craft, the joyous agony of chasing the perfect phrase. Each sentence is a step, each paragraph a journey, and the finished piece, a new world brought into existence. This isn’t merely an urge; it’s a calling, a constant whisper from the muse that demands to be heard and translated.

But it’s more than just the act of writing; it’s what words themselves represent. For me, words are the way to know ecstasy. They are not just symbols on a page; they are vessels of emotion, architects of understanding, and bridges between disparate souls. There’s an almost alchemical magic in finding the exact verb that electrifies a scene, the precise adjective that paints a vivid image, or the perfectly structured sentence that unlocks a complex idea.

That moment when the right words click into place, when a jumbled thought suddenly unfurls into crystalline clarity, is nothing short of pure bliss. It’s a connection to something larger than myself – a universal language of human experience, memory, and imagination. Through words, we can travel across centuries, inhabit different lives, understand profound sorrow and boundless joy. They are the keys to unlocking empathy, the tools for building dreams, and the threads that weave the rich tapestry of human history and culture. The sheer power and beauty contained within a carefully chosen lexicon can make my spirit soar.

Conversely, the thought of a life without words, a world where expression is stifled, where stories are unwritten, and ideas remain trapped and untranslated, fills me with a profound sense of despair. Without them, life is barren. Imagine a landscape devoid of color, a symphony without sound, a conversation without meaning. That, to me, is a life without the richness that words provide.

It would be a silent, desolate existence, stripped bare of the nuances that define our humanity. How would we learn? How would we connect? How would we express love, grief, or triumph? Our history would be lost, our future unimaginable. The very essence of what makes us sentient, feeling beings would be muted, leaving behind only the hollow echo of what could have been.

So, yes, writing is my passion. But it’s because words are so much more than tools; they are the very lifeblood of meaning, connection, and transcendence. They are my anchors and my wings, the echoes of my soul, and the path to ecstasy. And for that, I am eternally grateful for every letter, every sentence, every story waiting to be told.

What about you? What are your words? What do they mean to you?

Day 323

Is speculative fiction a series of what-ifs, perhaps gleaned from the headlines of the papers over time?

…

Beyond the Fold: Is Speculative Fiction Just a Series of ‘What Ifs’ Gleaned from Today’s Headlines?

Ever read a news story – a groundbreaking scientific discovery, a chilling political development, a startling environmental report – and felt a tiny tremor in your imagination? That whisper of a thought: “What if this continued? What if this went wrong? What if this changed everything?”

If so, you’ve touched the very essence of speculative fiction.

The idea that speculative fiction – encompassing science fiction, fantasy, dystopia, and alternate history – is simply a series of “what-ifs” is compelling. And the notion that these “what-ifs” are often gleaned from the headlines of the papers over time is not just plausible, it’s often the very engine driving the genre.

Let’s unpack this fascinating relationship.

The “What If” Generator: Curiosity as a Catalyst

At its heart, speculative fiction is the ultimate thought experiment. It doesn’t merely invent worlds; it interrogates ours. Authors take a single variable – a technological leap, a societal shift, a historical divergence, a potential disaster – and push it to its logical (or terrifyingly illogical) conclusion.

The “what if” is the seed. What if humans could genetically engineer their children? What if artificial intelligence achieved sentience? What if a virus wiped out most of humanity? What if a forgotten magic re-emerged? What if a certain political leader never came to power?

These questions aren’t born in a vacuum.

Headlines as a Crucible of Inspiration

The news, whether the morning paper, the evening broadcast, or the relentless scroll of our digital feeds, is a rich and constantly evolving source of these “what-ifs.” It reflects humanity’s biggest fears, our grandest ambitions, our ethical dilemmas, and our scientific breakthroughs.

Consider these historical and ongoing examples:

Technological Advancements: The discovery of electricity led to tales of Frankenstein. Early computer science gave rise to cyberpunk visions of interconnected digital worlds. Today, headlines about AI development, CRISPR gene editing, quantum computing, and space tourism are actively feeding new narratives about our future and what it means to be human.
Environmental Concerns: From Rachel Carson’s “Silent Spring” to modern reports on climate change, deforestation, and plastic pollution, environmental headlines have directly inspired dystopian futures where resources are scarce, and humanity battles the consequences of its own hubris.
Societal and Political Upheaval: Totalitarian regimes, surveillance states, economic inequalities, and political polarisation are not new. 1984, Brave New World, and The Handmaid’s Tale are poignant examples of authors extrapolating from contemporary political anxieties and societal trends, pushing them to their extreme conclusions to serve as warnings.
Epidemics and Public Health: Long before recent global events, authors explored fictional plagues and pandemics, drawing on real-world outbreaks throughout history to imagine scenarios of societal collapse, survival, and the ethical dilemmas of containment.
Scientific Discoveries: From the discovery of new planets to breakthroughs in neuroscience, astrophysics, and biology, every scientific headline offers a potential portal to a new fictional reality. What if we found alien life? What if we unlocked the secrets of the brain?
Speculative fiction doesn’t just copy the headlines; it amplifies them. It takes the disquieting whispers of today’s news and turns them into roaring narratives, exploring the deeper implications that headlines can only hint at.

Beyond the Event: The Human Element

But it’s crucial to remember that speculative fiction isn’t just about the event or the discovery. It’s about what those what-ifs do to people. How do individuals adapt, resist, thrive, or crumble under these altered circumstances? It explores human nature in a crucible of change, examining our ethics, our resilience, and our capacity for both cruelty and compassion.

The headlines provide the stage and the initial conflict, but the human drama unfurls within.

A Mirror and a Lantern

Ultimately, by taking these “what-ifs” gleaned from the continuous narrative of our world, speculative fiction serves a vital dual purpose:

It holds up a mirror: Reflecting our current anxieties, hopes, and moral quandaries back at us, often in exaggerated forms, forcing us to confront them.
It acts as a lantern: Illuminating potential futures, both utopian and dystopian, allowing us to consider the paths we might be heading down and perhaps, to choose a different course.
So, yes, speculative fiction is indeed largely a series of “what-ifs,” and the headlines of the papers – both today’s and yesterday’s – are its constant, fertile ground. It’s a testament to our enduring curiosity, our inherent need to understand consequences, and our powerful imagination to dream up not just what is, but what could be. And in doing so, it helps us better understand what we want our present to become.

Day 323

Is speculative fiction a series of what-ifs, perhaps gleaned from the headlines of the papers over time?

…

Beyond the Fold: Is Speculative Fiction Just a Series of ‘What Ifs’ Gleaned from Today’s Headlines?

Ever read a news story – a groundbreaking scientific discovery, a chilling political development, a startling environmental report – and felt a tiny tremor in your imagination? That whisper of a thought: “What if this continued? What if this went wrong? What if this changed everything?”

If so, you’ve touched the very essence of speculative fiction.

The idea that speculative fiction – encompassing science fiction, fantasy, dystopia, and alternate history – is simply a series of “what-ifs” is compelling. And the notion that these “what-ifs” are often gleaned from the headlines of the papers over time is not just plausible, it’s often the very engine driving the genre.

Let’s unpack this fascinating relationship.

The “What If” Generator: Curiosity as a Catalyst

At its heart, speculative fiction is the ultimate thought experiment. It doesn’t merely invent worlds; it interrogates ours. Authors take a single variable – a technological leap, a societal shift, a historical divergence, a potential disaster – and push it to its logical (or terrifyingly illogical) conclusion.

The “what if” is the seed. What if humans could genetically engineer their children? What if artificial intelligence achieved sentience? What if a virus wiped out most of humanity? What if a forgotten magic re-emerged? What if a certain political leader never came to power?

These questions aren’t born in a vacuum.

Headlines as a Crucible of Inspiration

The news, whether the morning paper, the evening broadcast, or the relentless scroll of our digital feeds, is a rich and constantly evolving source of these “what-ifs.” It reflects humanity’s biggest fears, our grandest ambitions, our ethical dilemmas, and our scientific breakthroughs.

Consider these historical and ongoing examples:

Technological Advancements: The discovery of electricity led to tales of Frankenstein. Early computer science gave rise to cyberpunk visions of interconnected digital worlds. Today, headlines about AI development, CRISPR gene editing, quantum computing, and space tourism are actively feeding new narratives about our future and what it means to be human.
Environmental Concerns: From Rachel Carson’s “Silent Spring” to modern reports on climate change, deforestation, and plastic pollution, environmental headlines have directly inspired dystopian futures where resources are scarce, and humanity battles the consequences of its own hubris.
Societal and Political Upheaval: Totalitarian regimes, surveillance states, economic inequalities, and political polarisation are not new. 1984, Brave New World, and The Handmaid’s Tale are poignant examples of authors extrapolating from contemporary political anxieties and societal trends, pushing them to their extreme conclusions to serve as warnings.
Epidemics and Public Health: Long before recent global events, authors explored fictional plagues and pandemics, drawing on real-world outbreaks throughout history to imagine scenarios of societal collapse, survival, and the ethical dilemmas of containment.
Scientific Discoveries: From the discovery of new planets to breakthroughs in neuroscience, astrophysics, and biology, every scientific headline offers a potential portal to a new fictional reality. What if we found alien life? What if we unlocked the secrets of the brain?
Speculative fiction doesn’t just copy the headlines; it amplifies them. It takes the disquieting whispers of today’s news and turns them into roaring narratives, exploring the deeper implications that headlines can only hint at.

Beyond the Event: The Human Element

But it’s crucial to remember that speculative fiction isn’t just about the event or the discovery. It’s about what those what-ifs do to people. How do individuals adapt, resist, thrive, or crumble under these altered circumstances? It explores human nature in a crucible of change, examining our ethics, our resilience, and our capacity for both cruelty and compassion.

The headlines provide the stage and the initial conflict, but the human drama unfurls within.

A Mirror and a Lantern

Ultimately, by taking these “what-ifs” gleaned from the continuous narrative of our world, speculative fiction serves a vital dual purpose:

It holds up a mirror: Reflecting our current anxieties, hopes, and moral quandaries back at us, often in exaggerated forms, forcing us to confront them.
It acts as a lantern: Illuminating potential futures, both utopian and dystopian, allowing us to consider the paths we might be heading down and perhaps, to choose a different course.
So, yes, speculative fiction is indeed largely a series of “what-ifs,” and the headlines of the papers – both today’s and yesterday’s – are its constant, fertile ground. It’s a testament to our enduring curiosity, our inherent need to understand consequences, and our powerful imagination to dream up not just what is, but what could be. And in doing so, it helps us better understand what we want our present to become.

Day 322

Writing exercise – The tea cart was at least five minutes late; something had to be done.

…

I worked in an office full of self-absorbed people, who cared only about themselves and what the company could do for them.

It was always about the bonus, about the amenities, about anything they can get for nothing.

So, don’t get me started on the morning tea.

And afternoon tea.

Because of the nature of the work, it wasn’t a good idea to leave the desk, except at lunch when they had to have a break, and when they went home, which sometimes some forgot to.

Or so they said.

I wasn’t that dedicated, so perhaps that was the only reason why I wasn’t rocketing up the promotions ladder.  The higher you went, the more the company owned you.

I looked around.  Five-thousand-dollar suits, car keys for Maseratis and Ferraris proudly on display.  An ancient Ford wasn’t a status symbol, but then I was never about status, just about getting the job done.

Walters, the current ‘ace employee of the month’, was sitting back in his chair and looking at his watch, a Rolex, of course, then the office clock, which was never on time.

“Where’s the tea lady?”

There were two options: going up to the breakout area on the floor below the executive suite or having it at the desk.

Several elderly ladies ran the trolley, a nice, easy job for an hour or so in the morning and the afternoon.  The three that serviced our floor were Doris, my favourite, Matilda, who always had a dour demeanour, and Lizzie, younger, once a showgirl, or so she said.

I was never quite sure what ‘showgirl’ meant.

Today, it should have been Lizzie.

“Still boiling the water.”  Frazer, equally boorish as Walters, was known for smart ass remarks.

“It’s not as if you haven’t been late when you have to be somewhere.”

Like any appointment with his supervisor.

“Be a good chap, Roly, and find out where it is.”

I glared at him.  My name was Rollins, but he called me Rolly.  He had a name for everyone he considered beneath him in status.

His other name, Roly Poly, he said when he was with the others at the Friday night drinks at a nearby bar.  I went once, heard his slanging off the lesser employees and the others laughing, and decided it was not my thing.

I was going to tell him off, but it would simply go through one ear and out the other.

The breakout area had an annexe where the tea ladies prepared before coming down to their designated food by the freight elevator.

I’d been in it once, and it was lucky to be working.  The day I was in it, it stopped twice without reason and missed the floor by a foot which would make it impossible to unload a negotiating.

I went up via the main elevator lobby.  Mt first thought was that the freight elevator was stuck, and she was in it

I crossed the breakout area, very spacious and airy, walls without windows lined with vending machines, free tea, coffee and cold water all day.

Today, there were cookies, which sometimes found their way onto the tea cart.

I knocked on the door to the tea lady’s room, and there was no answer.  I opened the door and stepped in.  It was a restricted area, but there was no key card entry required.

The room was a mess.  It looked to me as though someone had a tantrum and started throwing stuff.  Until I looked closely and realised someone had been searching through everything in a methodical manner.

There was another door on the other side of the room.  I picked my way carefully through the mess; security was going to have to find out what happened here.

Again, I knocked, but there was no answer.

I opened the door

The three ladies were bound and gagged, sitting on the floor.  It was then that I realised the tea carts were missing.

I called security.  “You have a situation.   The tea ladies are bound and gagged, and their trolleys are missing.”

No questions or instructions, a few seconds later, the fire evacuation siren was blaring, a voice over, “This is not a drill.  I repeat, this is not a drill.  Please evacuate the building in a calm and orderly manner as directed.  Floor wardens are to immediately supervise and evaluate floors as directed.”

While that announcement was being made, I untied and removed Lizzie’s gag, then she helped one and I the other.

When they were free, I asked, “What happened?”

Two men and a woman came in and started asking questions.  We thought they were health inspectors until they started tossing stuff everywhere, looking for a pass.”

“A pass?”

“Floor access key.  Or maybe a master key.  Then, because Lizzie went for the phone we finished up where you found us.”

“Did they say anything else?”

“Only they were going to kill some bloke because he didn’t do his job properly.”

“Someone who works here?”

“That would be my guess,” Lizzie said. “Anything important happening?”

Important in this place.  Nothing that was ever exciting enough to incite what just happened.”

“Did they find the pass?”

“Yes.  It had a man’s face on it, but it was too far away to recognise it.”

I called security again.

“You’re looking for two men, a woman, three tea carts, and they have a pass key that someone else left for them to collect.  Do you have CCTV up here?”

He didn’t answer, just hung up.  I took that as a no.

When I turned around to tell the ladies we had to evacuate the building, Lizzie was by the door holding a gun.

A gun.  Where did she get it? Why did she have it?

“Join the other two and go back into the room.” She motioned with the gun for emphasis.  “Now.”

She looked at her watch.

Time was a factor.  

“Why are you doing this?  Are you in league with those criminals?”

“They’re not criminals.  You lot are the criminals.  Get in the room, I won’t ask again.”

You can’t argue with a gun.  “Let’s go, do as she asks.  Not worth the trouble refusing.”

They looked to me like they were going to say something, then thought twice about it and went into the room.  I followed, and before she shut the door, I said, “Whatever you’re doing, I hope it’s worth it.”

“It will be.”

The door closed, and I heard the turn of the key in the lock.  It was a flimsy door, but this wasn’t the time to kick it in.  I waited by the door, and a minute or so later, I heard the outer room door close and I assumed she had locked that too.

“If I hadn’t come, she would have got away with it,” I said.

“She didn’t look like she was working with them.  Just goes to show, you think you know someone.”

“And there’s someone else out there working with them.”

“To do what?”

Good question.  I was wondering that myself.  Lizzie had called the company criminals.  All we did was invest money, make the clients richer.  Admittedly, it had become that much harder to pick the market given the volatility, which, some argued, was deliberately being manipulated.

One negative word from a government official could send a stock higher or plummet in value, leaving investors with huge losses.

Walters had been flying high on a lot of good tips, but the last stock that went up, he should have sold, instead, waited just a little too long.  Perhaps he’d crossed his tipster.  That would mean he was effectively insider trading.

Interesting how something comes together with the right catalyst. 

The thing is, investors knew who their trader was, so if anyone was upset, they could complain or demand an explanation.  The supervisor was tough but fair. You cause a mess, you clean it up.

I doubted Lizzie was one of those high roller investors, but in such a job, a few bucks to supply a pass key was nothing to her.  Unless it turned into a murder.  Brandishing guns in a highly volatile situation was a recipe for disaster.

“It might have something to do with bad investments.”

And something else just dredged up from the back of my mind.  A sighting about a month back of one of the directors of the company having lunch at a fancy restaurant I had wanted to go to, passed most days on the way home from work.

It was not because he was dining there; it was the woman he was with.  I thought he might be having an affair, but several days after that, her face popped up on TV, and she was being linked to a government project that was worth billions of dollars.

And the report was about the next big thing in the construction industry

Interesting.

“Not a good look for an investment company to have bad investments.”

“It’s a volatile market, and a lot of investment houses have problems.  But you’re right, not a good look, and very problematic if the investors start getting itchy feet.”

“And that happened here?”

“Everyone praises you when you back the right horse, but like a horse race, you never really know which horse is going to win.  Sometimes, even dead certs lose.  It happens everywhere.”

I don’t think I sold the ‘we are the best of the best’ to her.  At that moment, the fire alarm stopped, and the silence was blessed.  She just shrugged and produced a set of keys.

“You have the keys to the door?”

“Of course.  Senior tea lady.  It just wasn’t safe to go out there, until now.”

I stepped back, and she unlocked the door. 

“You open it.  Lizzie must still be out there.”

I debated whether I should tell her I heard Lizzie leave, but decided not to.  I opened the door a crack and peered out.

Nothing.

I pushed the door open and came out into the room.

Silence, which was strange in itself.  There was always noise.

She gave me the keys to open the outset door and check.  Once again, only opening it slightly, I glanced down both sides of the corridor.  If Lizzie had any sense, she would have left quickly

“Stay here and lock the door.  I’ll go and see what’s happening.”

I took the closest staircase to go down.  In a fire alarm, all the doors on each floor were unlocked.  It was eerily quiet on the stairwell as I slowly went down to my floor.  I told myself that it could not have been about Walters and the others.

At the level, I slowly opened the door.  Silence.  If anyone was there, there would be noise, at the very least, Walters babbling on about the intrusion.

I waited a minute.  Two.  Nothing.

Then, slowly walking up the corridor to the pit, the workspaces of the half dozen of us in the group, and in the office overlooking the outside, the supervisor.

I stopped at the door and nearly vomited.  They were all dead, shot multiple times, with blood and bodies everywhere.  My five colleagues and the supervisor.  Dead.

Walters had done me a favour by sending me off to find the tea lady.  Otherwise, I’d be with them, just another dead body.

That’s when the police arrived, about a dozen of them screaming for me to get on the floor, hands behind my head.

…

©  Charles Heath 2025

Day 322

Writing exercise – The tea cart was at least five minutes late; something had to be done.

…

I worked in an office full of self-absorbed people, who cared only about themselves and what the company could do for them.

It was always about the bonus, about the amenities, about anything they can get for nothing.

So, don’t get me started on the morning tea.

And afternoon tea.

Because of the nature of the work, it wasn’t a good idea to leave the desk, except at lunch when they had to have a break, and when they went home, which sometimes some forgot to.

Or so they said.

I wasn’t that dedicated, so perhaps that was the only reason why I wasn’t rocketing up the promotions ladder.  The higher you went, the more the company owned you.

I looked around.  Five-thousand-dollar suits, car keys for Maseratis and Ferraris proudly on display.  An ancient Ford wasn’t a status symbol, but then I was never about status, just about getting the job done.

Walters, the current ‘ace employee of the month’, was sitting back in his chair and looking at his watch, a Rolex, of course, then the office clock, which was never on time.

“Where’s the tea lady?”

There were two options: going up to the breakout area on the floor below the executive suite or having it at the desk.

Several elderly ladies ran the trolley, a nice, easy job for an hour or so in the morning and the afternoon.  The three that serviced our floor were Doris, my favourite, Matilda, who always had a dour demeanour, and Lizzie, younger, once a showgirl, or so she said.

I was never quite sure what ‘showgirl’ meant.

Today, it should have been Lizzie.

“Still boiling the water.”  Frazer, equally boorish as Walters, was known for smart ass remarks.

“It’s not as if you haven’t been late when you have to be somewhere.”

Like any appointment with his supervisor.

“Be a good chap, Roly, and find out where it is.”

I glared at him.  My name was Rollins, but he called me Rolly.  He had a name for everyone he considered beneath him in status.

His other name, Roly Poly, he said when he was with the others at the Friday night drinks at a nearby bar.  I went once, heard his slanging off the lesser employees and the others laughing, and decided it was not my thing.

I was going to tell him off, but it would simply go through one ear and out the other.

The breakout area had an annexe where the tea ladies prepared before coming down to their designated food by the freight elevator.

I’d been in it once, and it was lucky to be working.  The day I was in it, it stopped twice without reason and missed the floor by a foot which would make it impossible to unload a negotiating.

I went up via the main elevator lobby.  Mt first thought was that the freight elevator was stuck, and she was in it

I crossed the breakout area, very spacious and airy, walls without windows lined with vending machines, free tea, coffee and cold water all day.

Today, there were cookies, which sometimes found their way onto the tea cart.

I knocked on the door to the tea lady’s room, and there was no answer.  I opened the door and stepped in.  It was a restricted area, but there was no key card entry required.

The room was a mess.  It looked to me as though someone had a tantrum and started throwing stuff.  Until I looked closely and realised someone had been searching through everything in a methodical manner.

There was another door on the other side of the room.  I picked my way carefully through the mess; security was going to have to find out what happened here.

Again, I knocked, but there was no answer.

I opened the door

The three ladies were bound and gagged, sitting on the floor.  It was then that I realised the tea carts were missing.

I called security.  “You have a situation.   The tea ladies are bound and gagged, and their trolleys are missing.”

No questions or instructions, a few seconds later, the fire evacuation siren was blaring, a voice over, “This is not a drill.  I repeat, this is not a drill.  Please evacuate the building in a calm and orderly manner as directed.  Floor wardens are to immediately supervise and evaluate floors as directed.”

While that announcement was being made, I untied and removed Lizzie’s gag, then she helped one and I the other.

When they were free, I asked, “What happened?”

Two men and a woman came in and started asking questions.  We thought they were health inspectors until they started tossing stuff everywhere, looking for a pass.”

“A pass?”

“Floor access key.  Or maybe a master key.  Then, because Lizzie went for the phone we finished up where you found us.”

“Did they say anything else?”

“Only they were going to kill some bloke because he didn’t do his job properly.”

“Someone who works here?”

“That would be my guess,” Lizzie said. “Anything important happening?”

Important in this place.  Nothing that was ever exciting enough to incite what just happened.”

“Did they find the pass?”

“Yes.  It had a man’s face on it, but it was too far away to recognise it.”

I called security again.

“You’re looking for two men, a woman, three tea carts, and they have a pass key that someone else left for them to collect.  Do you have CCTV up here?”

He didn’t answer, just hung up.  I took that as a no.

When I turned around to tell the ladies we had to evacuate the building, Lizzie was by the door holding a gun.

A gun.  Where did she get it? Why did she have it?

“Join the other two and go back into the room.” She motioned with the gun for emphasis.  “Now.”

She looked at her watch.

Time was a factor.  

“Why are you doing this?  Are you in league with those criminals?”

“They’re not criminals.  You lot are the criminals.  Get in the room, I won’t ask again.”

You can’t argue with a gun.  “Let’s go, do as she asks.  Not worth the trouble refusing.”

They looked to me like they were going to say something, then thought twice about it and went into the room.  I followed, and before she shut the door, I said, “Whatever you’re doing, I hope it’s worth it.”

“It will be.”

The door closed, and I heard the turn of the key in the lock.  It was a flimsy door, but this wasn’t the time to kick it in.  I waited by the door, and a minute or so later, I heard the outer room door close and I assumed she had locked that too.

“If I hadn’t come, she would have got away with it,” I said.

“She didn’t look like she was working with them.  Just goes to show, you think you know someone.”

“And there’s someone else out there working with them.”

“To do what?”

Good question.  I was wondering that myself.  Lizzie had called the company criminals.  All we did was invest money, make the clients richer.  Admittedly, it had become that much harder to pick the market given the volatility, which, some argued, was deliberately being manipulated.

One negative word from a government official could send a stock higher or plummet in value, leaving investors with huge losses.

Walters had been flying high on a lot of good tips, but the last stock that went up, he should have sold, instead, waited just a little too long.  Perhaps he’d crossed his tipster.  That would mean he was effectively insider trading.

Interesting how something comes together with the right catalyst. 

The thing is, investors knew who their trader was, so if anyone was upset, they could complain or demand an explanation.  The supervisor was tough but fair. You cause a mess, you clean it up.

I doubted Lizzie was one of those high roller investors, but in such a job, a few bucks to supply a pass key was nothing to her.  Unless it turned into a murder.  Brandishing guns in a highly volatile situation was a recipe for disaster.

“It might have something to do with bad investments.”

And something else just dredged up from the back of my mind.  A sighting about a month back of one of the directors of the company having lunch at a fancy restaurant I had wanted to go to, passed most days on the way home from work.

It was not because he was dining there; it was the woman he was with.  I thought he might be having an affair, but several days after that, her face popped up on TV, and she was being linked to a government project that was worth billions of dollars.

And the report was about the next big thing in the construction industry

Interesting.

“Not a good look for an investment company to have bad investments.”

“It’s a volatile market, and a lot of investment houses have problems.  But you’re right, not a good look, and very problematic if the investors start getting itchy feet.”

“And that happened here?”

“Everyone praises you when you back the right horse, but like a horse race, you never really know which horse is going to win.  Sometimes, even dead certs lose.  It happens everywhere.”

I don’t think I sold the ‘we are the best of the best’ to her.  At that moment, the fire alarm stopped, and the silence was blessed.  She just shrugged and produced a set of keys.

“You have the keys to the door?”

“Of course.  Senior tea lady.  It just wasn’t safe to go out there, until now.”

I stepped back, and she unlocked the door. 

“You open it.  Lizzie must still be out there.”

I debated whether I should tell her I heard Lizzie leave, but decided not to.  I opened the door a crack and peered out.

Nothing.

I pushed the door open and came out into the room.

Silence, which was strange in itself.  There was always noise.

She gave me the keys to open the outset door and check.  Once again, only opening it slightly, I glanced down both sides of the corridor.  If Lizzie had any sense, she would have left quickly

“Stay here and lock the door.  I’ll go and see what’s happening.”

I took the closest staircase to go down.  In a fire alarm, all the doors on each floor were unlocked.  It was eerily quiet on the stairwell as I slowly went down to my floor.  I told myself that it could not have been about Walters and the others.

At the level, I slowly opened the door.  Silence.  If anyone was there, there would be noise, at the very least, Walters babbling on about the intrusion.

I waited a minute.  Two.  Nothing.

Then, slowly walking up the corridor to the pit, the workspaces of the half dozen of us in the group, and in the office overlooking the outside, the supervisor.

I stopped at the door and nearly vomited.  They were all dead, shot multiple times, with blood and bodies everywhere.  My five colleagues and the supervisor.  Dead.

Walters had done me a favour by sending me off to find the tea lady.  Otherwise, I’d be with them, just another dead body.

That’s when the police arrived, about a dozen of them screaming for me to get on the floor, hands behind my head.

…

©  Charles Heath 2025

Day 321

What will happen to the hero?

…

The Novelist’s Secret: We’re Just As Curious As You Are

We all know the feeling. It’s midnight, the house is dark, and you are gripping the latest thriller, utterly unable to put it down. Your heart pounds, palms sweat, and the only certainty in the universe is the desperate need to know: Will the hero survive?

This is the glorious, undeniable suspense of the reader. We assume this thrill is exclusive to us—the consumers of the story.

But what if I told you that, sitting across the desk, hunched over a lukewarm cup of coffee and a blinking cursor, the person crafting the plot is often experiencing the very same, stomach-dropping curiosity?

The prevailing image of the novelist is that of an omniscient deity, a master architect meticulously placing every brick, knowing how the structure must inevitably fall. While some writers certainly embody this role—the celebrated “plotters”—the deepest, most resonant stories often emerge when the creator surrenders control and becomes, quite simply, the hero’s most dedicated and most anxious first reader.

The suspense of a novel is not only in the reader but also in the novelist, who is equally curious about what will happen to the hero. This is the great secret of discovery writing: The story is not written; it is uncovered.

The Myth of the Master Plan

For those who write by “discovery” (often affectionately termed “pantsers,” because they write by the seat of their pants), the process is less like following a blueprint and more like exploring a vast, uncharted cave. You have a flashlight (your protagonist’s core motivation) and a general direction, but you have no idea if the path ahead leads to a treasure chamber or a sudden, terrifying drop.

When a writer starts a story this way, the suspense is inherent in every word. Every time the protagonist is confronted with a choice, the author holds their breath, asking:

Will he take the risk, or play it safe?
Will she finally tell the truth, even though it ruins everything?
Is this conflict a dead end, or a pivot point?
This is not simple intellectual curiosity; it is a genuine, existential stake in the outcome. The novelist is betting their time, their craft, and the integrity of the entire manuscript on the hero making an organic, believable next move—a move the novelist themselves must wait to witness.

When Characters Take the Wheel

The moment a character truly comes alive is the moment they cease being a puppet for the writer’s agenda and become an autonomous force.

This is the thrilling, terrifying point of no return for the author. The character stops doing what the outline demands and starts doing what they would logically do, given their history, flaws, and desires.

Many authors describe this sensation. Characters rebel. They refuse to fall in love with the intended partner. They walked out of the room when they were supposed to deliver a crucial monologue. They exhibit an inconvenient, but utterly truthful, streak of self-sabotage that the author never planned.

When this happens, the novelist’s job shifts from creator to witness. We are no longer designing the journey; we are scrambling to keep up, racing down the page just to see how our heroes will resolve the mess they’ve just made.

This is the purest form of writerly suspense. We are tied to the narrative not just by obligation, but by a sudden, intense fear for our creation. Will this impulsive decision ruin the story? Or will it, astonishingly, unlock the one perfect plot twist we never saw coming?

The Unique Burden of the Author’s Suspense

The reader’s suspense is passive; it is the anticipation of consumption. The author’s suspense, however, is active; it is the anxiety of creation and execution.

An author’s curiosity isn’t just about what happens, but about how they are going to manage to write it convincingly.

If the hero is trapped in a burning building, the reader wonders: How will he get out?

The novelist wonders: How will he get out, and can I write that scene with enough detail, tension, and structural integrity that the whole book doesn’t collapse at this crucial moment?

The novelist’s curiosity is perpetually interwoven with the demands of craft. We are curious about the outcome, but we are also desperately curious about our own ability to deliver that outcome flawlessly. We are thrilled by the uncertainty, but burdened by the knowledge that we are responsible for making that uncertainty pay off.

The Beautiful Surrender

To create genuine suspense for the reader, the writer must first allow themselves to feel it. The greatest narratives are not those where the author is in total control, but those where the author has surrendered enough control to be genuinely surprised.

If the author already knows every character beat, every twist, and every final line, the writing process can become mechanical and stale—and that flatness will invariably translate to the finished page.

The writer who is slightly nervous, slightly unsure, and deeply invested in the fate of their protagonist is the writer who is pouring genuine, fresh energy into the text.

So the next time you are lost in a book, turning pages in a fever pitch of excitement, remember the person who wrote it. They may have been turning those internal pages just as quickly, hoping, fearing, and discovering the story right alongside you.

This shared curiosity—this simultaneous suspense binding creator and consumer—is perhaps the purest magic of the human-authored novel. It is the moment we realise that writing is not the act of manufacturing an inevitability, but the wondrous challenge of documenting a life that insists on being lived.

Day 321

What will happen to the hero?

…

The Novelist’s Secret: We’re Just As Curious As You Are

We all know the feeling. It’s midnight, the house is dark, and you are gripping the latest thriller, utterly unable to put it down. Your heart pounds, palms sweat, and the only certainty in the universe is the desperate need to know: Will the hero survive?

This is the glorious, undeniable suspense of the reader. We assume this thrill is exclusive to us—the consumers of the story.

But what if I told you that, sitting across the desk, hunched over a lukewarm cup of coffee and a blinking cursor, the person crafting the plot is often experiencing the very same, stomach-dropping curiosity?

The prevailing image of the novelist is that of an omniscient deity, a master architect meticulously placing every brick, knowing how the structure must inevitably fall. While some writers certainly embody this role—the celebrated “plotters”—the deepest, most resonant stories often emerge when the creator surrenders control and becomes, quite simply, the hero’s most dedicated and most anxious first reader.

The suspense of a novel is not only in the reader but also in the novelist, who is equally curious about what will happen to the hero. This is the great secret of discovery writing: The story is not written; it is uncovered.

The Myth of the Master Plan

For those who write by “discovery” (often affectionately termed “pantsers,” because they write by the seat of their pants), the process is less like following a blueprint and more like exploring a vast, uncharted cave. You have a flashlight (your protagonist’s core motivation) and a general direction, but you have no idea if the path ahead leads to a treasure chamber or a sudden, terrifying drop.

When a writer starts a story this way, the suspense is inherent in every word. Every time the protagonist is confronted with a choice, the author holds their breath, asking:

Will he take the risk, or play it safe?
Will she finally tell the truth, even though it ruins everything?
Is this conflict a dead end, or a pivot point?
This is not simple intellectual curiosity; it is a genuine, existential stake in the outcome. The novelist is betting their time, their craft, and the integrity of the entire manuscript on the hero making an organic, believable next move—a move the novelist themselves must wait to witness.

When Characters Take the Wheel

The moment a character truly comes alive is the moment they cease being a puppet for the writer’s agenda and become an autonomous force.

This is the thrilling, terrifying point of no return for the author. The character stops doing what the outline demands and starts doing what they would logically do, given their history, flaws, and desires.

Many authors describe this sensation. Characters rebel. They refuse to fall in love with the intended partner. They walked out of the room when they were supposed to deliver a crucial monologue. They exhibit an inconvenient, but utterly truthful, streak of self-sabotage that the author never planned.

When this happens, the novelist’s job shifts from creator to witness. We are no longer designing the journey; we are scrambling to keep up, racing down the page just to see how our heroes will resolve the mess they’ve just made.

This is the purest form of writerly suspense. We are tied to the narrative not just by obligation, but by a sudden, intense fear for our creation. Will this impulsive decision ruin the story? Or will it, astonishingly, unlock the one perfect plot twist we never saw coming?

The Unique Burden of the Author’s Suspense

The reader’s suspense is passive; it is the anticipation of consumption. The author’s suspense, however, is active; it is the anxiety of creation and execution.

An author’s curiosity isn’t just about what happens, but about how they are going to manage to write it convincingly.

If the hero is trapped in a burning building, the reader wonders: How will he get out?

The novelist wonders: How will he get out, and can I write that scene with enough detail, tension, and structural integrity that the whole book doesn’t collapse at this crucial moment?

The novelist’s curiosity is perpetually interwoven with the demands of craft. We are curious about the outcome, but we are also desperately curious about our own ability to deliver that outcome flawlessly. We are thrilled by the uncertainty, but burdened by the knowledge that we are responsible for making that uncertainty pay off.

The Beautiful Surrender

To create genuine suspense for the reader, the writer must first allow themselves to feel it. The greatest narratives are not those where the author is in total control, but those where the author has surrendered enough control to be genuinely surprised.

If the author already knows every character beat, every twist, and every final line, the writing process can become mechanical and stale—and that flatness will invariably translate to the finished page.

The writer who is slightly nervous, slightly unsure, and deeply invested in the fate of their protagonist is the writer who is pouring genuine, fresh energy into the text.

So the next time you are lost in a book, turning pages in a fever pitch of excitement, remember the person who wrote it. They may have been turning those internal pages just as quickly, hoping, fearing, and discovering the story right alongside you.

This shared curiosity—this simultaneous suspense binding creator and consumer—is perhaps the purest magic of the human-authored novel. It is the moment we realise that writing is not the act of manufacturing an inevitability, but the wondrous challenge of documenting a life that insists on being lived.

Days 319 and 320

Writing exercise – using other words for hate, run, disappointed, joyful, and frightened

…

Hate is such a strong word, but then so are detest, abhor, and perhaps disgust.  The thing is, does everyone understand these other words?

I hated my parents, I hated my brothers, and I think at one particular time in my life, I hated the world.  I guess when everything you planned for just hot pulled out from under you, it’s easy to blame everything and everyone else.

At the time, there wasn’t another word strong enough.

So, when the world has taken you by the scruff of the neck and starts strangling the life out of you, what do you do?  You run.  Anywhere is better than where you are.

Isn’t it?

I’d it running though, or a strategic exit.  It depends on who you are.

Disappointed?  Hell, yeah!

To see a relationship that had been nurtured from the beginning of grade school to the end of high school, to have in place a plan for the rest of your life, and then in a few weeks before the Prom, and graduation, see it all thrown on the scrap heap because the new boy in town had swept the girl of your dreams off her feet, well that was devastation, and a dozen other ‘d’ words.  Disappointment didn’t even scratch the surface.

Stamping out all those years of joy, though, as I was reminded several times by well-meaning people, I wasn’t old enough time know what love, pain and the damn thing of life, it was better to get the love and loss thing over so that the next time, if there was a next time, I’d know what to do.

Wrong.

My next foray into a serious relationship lasted a few years but fell apart when she had an accident.  I wasn’t there at the time, but she had taken it upon herself to take on the hardest slope without telling me and got injured.

I went up with the rescue team, but it seemed the sight of me only made the accident far worse than it was: a broken leg, failing to take a tight turn, one I knew needed a little more practice than she had.

It didn’t matter that I was not judging or critical, only concerned for her.

She was taken by air ambulance to the hospital, and then I didn’t see her again.

I was starting to think that I was never meant to find the true meaning of joy, or being happy, or content, or just be comfortable in the company of that woman I was told was out there somewhere waiting for me.

Right.

I’d like to see that prophecy come true.

So, of course, the opposite of joy was despair, frightened that I was never going to find true love.

Just saying that out loud scares the hell out of me.

Frightened, scared, paralysed with fear, simply paralysed.

My job hadn’t found anyone suitable.  Dating girls at the office was a minefield, especially when it all goes south.  I’d seen it happen far too many times, with devastating results for both parties.

So …

What’s the story? My story, really, with a few embellishments.

It’s there in parts, a story I tried to write a few years back, but started pottering anew.

The disappointment, the girlfriend moving on, plans destroyed, and not being the son and an heir, having a father who expected more than a lesser son could give, forced him to reconsider his life.

Instead of going to a local college and being at home, he moved across the country to go to a better university, having attained the necessary GPA to do an undergraduate degree in Economics, and then an MBA.  Five and a half to six years.

Tried to come home one and got into a fight with the son and heir and left.

Perhaps others got to share his disappointment.

Another few years pass.  His sister asks him to come home to see a sick mother.  It’s Christmas.

He gets on the plane.

Had he finally decided to stop running?

It is time to put the hate aside and try to get along.

Can help stifle the disappointment.

Can he find the joy of living at home again?

What was it, in stepping on that plane, that brought back all the disappointment, all the pain, and no chance of ever bringing back that childhood that wasn’t all that bad until he hit middle school.

Christmas is the time for joy.

Will he find it again?

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the in-flight service.