The A to Z Challenge – 2023 — D is for Deserving

It’s one thing to put a date in your diary; it’s something else to remember it’s there.

And then it’s something else entirely if you lose the device the calendar is on.

Of course, in this modern day and age, there’s this thing called the cloud, and any and all of your devices can connect to it, so really, there is no excuse.

Is there?

It was one of those things, you know, four inseparable friends at university, all going through the ups and downs of life, love, learning, and success and failure.  Two boys, Jake Sever and me, Albert Mendall, and two girls, Gillian Rogers and Melanie Monk.

We had lived separately, together, in relationships, and in the end, as friends.  After graduation, there was the party, the celebration, the reminisces, and the parting.  There were no romantic attachments, at least not one I was aware of, and each of us had applied for and got jobs in various parts of the country.

We all promised to catch up once we were settled, and all put an entry in their diaries to meet at the Empire State Building on Christmas Eve in two years’ time, a nod to Gillian’s favourite film, and just in case we lost track of each other. 

That final farewell was, for me, poignant, particularly with Gillian.  We had one of those on-again-off-again romances, it started out well enough but Gillian had always thought there had to be more, and as each succeeding romance of hers failed, for one reason or another, it brought us back together.  The last, she believed she had found the one, and when she left, with Derek, the one, I felt more than a little sad.  For me, she was the one, and it would be a long time before I found another.

Fast forward a year, and I had had sporadic communications from the others, all pursuing their dreams, their lives taking turns they could never have predicted.  Jake has literally married the boss’s daughter, the company he chose to work for a family-owned business.  Melanie had gone from being a forensic accountant to a footloose and fancy-free nanny doing the tour of Europe with a wealthy American family with three young children.  It was she said the only way to finance her travel bug.  Gillian had married the man of her dreams, Derek, and was living in a castle in Scotland.

That left me.

Of the four, I was the one with the most nebulous plans, having taken the first opportunity that presented itself.  I could do anything, but what I really wanted was to be a journalist, a stepping stone to becoming a writer, and then, if the planets lined up, a best-selling author.  That may have been possible if Gillian and I had remained together because she was my muse and fiercest critic.  Without her, that dream had lost its shine.

Now I was languishing at my desk, working for a weekly magazine that was one of the last of its kind in the American Midwest, on the outskirts of Cedar Rapids.  I liked the place the moment I arrived, but there had always been a big if hanging over the job and staying there, so I had diversified into becoming an English Literature teacher part-time at first, but now looking very much like my new vocation.

I’d just finished a feature story on the gradual disappearance of reading and writing skills in schools when I realised, I was running late for class.  I dropped the story on the editor’s desk, ran out the door, jumped in the car, and sped off, thinking that I would make it with five minutes to spare.

That was, until another driver, also running late, failed to stop at a T intersection, and just seeing the oncoming car out of the corner of my eye and gave me no time to react.  I didn’t even have time to say a prayer.

When I woke, I was in unfamiliar surroundings, though the combination of disinfectant, pale-coloured walls, and curtains surrounding the bed were all a dead giveaway I was in the hospital.

I didn’t know why, but a cursory glance showed no visible signs of injury, so I had to wonder if it was something else, like a heart problem.  I had palpitations recently, the first time since I had been much younger.  It had not been serious then, but the doctors had not ruled out, then, it might return one day.  Had that day come?

Inevitably, my waking brought visitors, a doctor, and a nurse.

And not surprisingly it was the first question I was expecting, virtually a cliche, asked by the doctor, “How are you feeling?”

I answered it with a question, “How should I feel?”

He looked almost amused.  “OK.  Let me ask you another question, and this time, an honest answer, not another question.  What is your name?”

An honest answer?  Did I have more than one name?  That should be easy, except…  I couldn’t remember, or was it I didn’t know?  Surely everyone knew their name.  Or was that the reason her asked, that he knew that I didn’t know or that I could not remember.

He could see that I was having trouble.

“I should know the answer to that question, shouldn’t I.”

“Normally I would expect in normal circumstances you would, but yours are not normal circumstances.  You were in a very bad car accident, so bad that we had to put you into an induced coma.  It was supposed to be a week, two at the most.  Instead, it’s turned out to be nearly a year.  To be honest we had no idea when or if you would come out, and when you did, how you would be when we woke you, but loss of memory is probably the best outcome we could have hoped for.  Your name, by the way, is Albert Mendall.”

“Then what else don’t I know?”

“Most likely for the past three weeks, once you started waking, it’s been a rather intense time for you.  Chances are you don’t remember any of it, but it’s fairly standard for long-term coma patients to take time to recover.  We kept you sedated for the last three days, gradually allowing you more wake time, and come to terms with your recovery.  All in all, this is the outcome we hoped for.  It could have been very, very different.  You’ve lost a lot of weight, and you’re going to need a month or two before you will be able to move around.  Other than that, you will have time to work on those memories.  What is your last memory?”

“Going to work, I think.  Going somewhere in a car, that much I can remember.”

“Family?”

“Nothing.”

“Friends”

“I knew people at University, faces but not names.  I know what I studied, Literature, but beyond that, not a lot.”

“You were a teacher, in fact, one of your colleagues has been dropping by every week just in case.  She’s here now if you’d like to see her?”

“It might jog something, but I hope she isn’t offended if I don’t remember her.”

“I’m sure she won’t be.  We’ve kept her apprised of your recovery.”

It made me think perhaps there had been more between us, but I couldn’t remember working as a teacher let alone anyone that I may have worked with.  It was going to be interesting if it sparked anything.

Eileen Westmacott did not look like a schoolteacher.  When she put her head in the door and asked if it was alright to come in, I thought she was looking for someone else.  She looked more like a model, or actress though I had no idea why I thought that.

She came in, crossed to the bed and sat in the chair, perhaps giving me the time to examine her and see if I could remember.  If I had known her, I would remember her.  I didn’t.

“How are you?  Oh, sorry.  Typical silly question to ask in a hospital.”

She had a shy manner and put her hand to her mouth as if she wanted to put the words back in.  Her manner and her smile lit up the room.

“The doctors tell me I’m fine, except that I have no idea who I am, other than the name Albert Mendall.  I’m very sorry I can’t remember you because I feel as though I should.  I know this is a dumb question, but were we…”

“We were very good friends, Al, and things were going in the right direction.  We were going to have dinner the night of your accident and talk about our future together.  I was on the verge of taking a role in a television series.”

“Did you…”

“Yes.  I managed that and came back every week to see how you were.  Tiring, but in the end it satisfied my desire to be an actress, and harsh enough to make me realise it requires someone more hardened and single-minded than me to pursue it.  Teaching ratty teenagers is far easier I can tell you.”

“Did you give it up?”

“No.  Just took a break from it, and wait until the series is aired, successfully or a failure.  It seems failures are far more common than we’re led to believe.  Besides, you gave me a reason to come back home.”  She reached out and took my hand in hers.

It was like an electric shock and sent a wave of feelings through me.  And a few memories surfaced.

“Oh, God!  I did something to hurt you, didn’t I?  I can see you, crying.  It was me, wasn’t it, and a woman named Gillian.”

“What do you remember?”

“Fragments.  I said something really stupid, but I can’t remember anything else, except I hurt you, and you cried.  I’m sorry.  I rather think now, before all this I must have been some sort of bastard.  You said we were going to talk about it the night of the accident.”

“It’s more complicated than that.  You were not a bastard.  I wanted to talk to you about the acting role, and you said that it might be better if I pursued my dream and put us on hold.  You’d just got a letter from Gillian, an old University friend, who obviously meant a great deal to you, and you were going to see her, and I said a few things I regret now, mostly because I think I was the reason why you had the accident.  If we had not argued the night before, you would not have stayed up to finish that article for the paper, you were tired, and … well, you know the rest.”

“I don’t remember anything about her other than her name.  If she and I were meant to be together, she would be with me?”  Another memory popped into my head.  “She never seemed to be satisfied and went off with a guy called Derek something or other.”

“Whom she divorced.  It was the reason for the letter.  She came to see you, I brought her here, and she stayed for a few days, then left.  I sent her an update each month but never got a reply.  I can send a message to her and tell her you’re awake if you like.”

“What would be the point.  I don’t remember her.  I don’t remember anything, other than it seems I was horrible to you, and I was pining after a girl I could never be with.”

“I think you are being a little harsh on yourself.”

“I’m so sorry.  Perhaps you should come back tomorrow when I’ve had some rest if those memories have surfaced, maybe some others will.”,

She stood.  I saw a tear escape one eye and trickle down her cheek. 

“You were the only one who believed in me, Al.  The only one, and for that, I will always be grateful.  And despite what fragments of memory you have, you were never horrible to me, you were probably the only one who was totally honest.”  She leaned over and kissed my forehead.  “I’m glad your back, and if there’s anything you need, just let me know.”

It was not as if after a year of being ‘absent’, you can leap out of bed and do a quick circuit of the hospital corridors.  It took three days to work my way from the bed to a wheelchair, the most time taken disconnecting me for all the monitoring, and IV tubes.

It took another week to get out of the room and venture further afield.  The physio visited me every day, working on a regimen that might see me on my feet in a month.  A month?

No more memories came, not in the next three weeks, and neither did Eileen.  While it made me feel sad, I had to expect it because all I could remember was not being the person she expected me to be, or that’s what I assumed.

The other thing was that I didn’t call her.  I went to, several times, but hadn’t I disappointed her?  What would be the point of doing it again?

Exactly a month to the day, another woman put her head in the door and asked if she could come in.

I thought she was another physio, or perhaps the hospital psychiatrist because I was sure I would be having issues with missing the world for a whole year.

She sat down in the same chair Eileen had sat in.

But her opening gambit wasn’t to ask me how I was.  Instead, she asked, “Do you know who I am?”

First off, the face was not familiar, and yet I knew it should be.

Then I remembered Eileen asking if she should send Gillian word of my walking.

“You must be Gillian.”

“You remember me?”

“No.  I think we were at university together.

“We were.  We lived together, off and on, for most of that time.  In the end, we had an argument, split up, and you came here.”

“You got married, didn’t you?  I have had a couple of flashes, one being you married a man called Derek.  I didn’t remember the argument.  How is Derek?”

“Dead, I hope.  I can state with some authority, the grass isn’t greener on the other side.  He wasn’t you.”

“Well, sadly, I don’t remember who he was, and even worse I don’t remember who I am now.  I’ve been told I was a teacher and a part-time journalist.  It’s been a year, they probably think I left town or died.  What I feel like right now is like I died and come back with a clean slate.  One thing I do know, is I don’t deserve it.”

“There is nothing you remember about us?”

“Nothing.  Did I hurt you?  I’ve been having a few memories where I don’t think I was a very nice person.”

“No.  You were always the kindest and most forgiving person I knew.  I’m sorry that you have ended up like this.”  She stood.  “I should not have come.  I wish you well Albert.”

Then she was gone.

Two weeks later the doctors decided I could go home.

It appears I had a home, a small two-bedroom house in a quiet street, bought from the proceeds of a story, well, several stories, I had sold to a magazine, and on the back of it a sizable advance from a book publisher.

In that year in limbo, my book had been published and I  wasn’t quite the number one bestselling author yet, but my career, I was told, was only just beginning.

Something I did remember … the follow-up novel to the first.

That was the first surprise.

When the nurse wheeled me out into the pick-up area, Eileen was waiting, leaning against a rather expensive European import.

“Your car awaits, literally.  It is your car.  The insurance company replaced the one that was wrecked in the accident.  Good thing it was this type of car, it basically saved your life.”

“Where have you been?”

“Working out the details of becoming your guardian until you’re back on your feet.”

“I can walk.”  I got out of the chair and stood, albeit a little wobbly.

Eileen had come over and taken me by the arm.

“Like I said until you are back on your feet.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.  Besides I had to quit my teaching job.  They are making a series two and asked me to come back.  With a lot more money.”

“Good for you.  How long before the departure?”

“A few months.  Problems with the other actors.  They all thought it would fail.”

She helped me into the car.  It had that new car smell, the one that costs a lot of money.

“By the way,” I said, once she was out in traffic, “I remembered two more things, one which might be of interest to you.  The first, you played each one of the seven women characters in my next book, taking my ideas of them and becoming them.”

“Which one did you like the most.”

“The one I had a dream about, Mary-Anne.”

“I should hope so, she is the wife of the character you based on yourself.”

She smiled at the thought. 

I would remember that portrayal as long as I live, crash or no crash.

“The second, you were not the cause, directly or indirectly, for my crash.  Gillian was.  She called me that morning while I was in the car, and when I went to pick the phone up, I dropped it on the floor and took my eyes off the road for just a few seconds.  It was a few seconds too long.”

“You distinctly remember that, out of everything else?”

“She came to see me two weeks ago.  Perhaps she was looking for the old Albert, the one that took her back every time her romance hit a rock, and then happily left when something new came along.  I’d called her the day before and told her I was no longer that person, that I had moved on.  I was going to ask you to marry me at that dinner.”

She had a wider smile now.  “I know.  I found the ring when I was looking for something else.  The answer’s yes by the way.  While you’ve been on vacation, that’s what we’re going to call your time away, by the way, I moved in and did a little redecorating.”

“Anything else I don’t know about.”

“Probably a zillion things, but the most important, you have a daughter,  she’s four months old, and her name is Mary Louise, after both our mothers.  How does the first day of the rest of your life feel?

There were tears and no words.

She squeezed my hand.  “I know how you feel.  We’ll be home soon.”

© Charles Heath 2023

A photograph from the inspirational bin – 16

I thought since it is Winter here, we could do with a breath of fresh air and colour that comes with the change if season

Living in Queensland, Winter never quite seems to be as cold as it is in the southern states, which are closer to Antarctica.

We have had a relatively mild winter this year and I didn’t have to light the fire once, though we did use the reverse cycle sir conditioning.

But, from now the temperature will be rising as well as the humidity and will hang around until April next year.

Normally this would mean that a large proportion of the population would be planning their summer holidays, but with Covid restrictions, we may not be allowed to leave our state, or only visit states that have no or few cases like us, and definitely no overseas travel.

For people who like to travel, this is a bitter pill to swallow, and especially so for all those retirees who have worked all their lives, and decided to wait until retirement to see their own country and the world at large.

To me, the adage ‘don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today’ seemed appropriate and we decided once the kids were old enough, we would travel far and wide while we could.  It was a wise decision because neither of us are as agile as we used to be.

Seems we were the lucky ones.

Now we are content to see our own country which no doubt will be able to manage Covid to the extent that life might return to a form if normal sooner rather that later.

And if it doesn’t, then I have enough to amuse myself at home. I’m sure we are all familiar with the expression ‘spring cleaning’. We have decided to clean house, and do some renovating.

And it’s a surprise when cleaning out those cupboards, drawers, and boxes, the stuff you’ve accumulated over many, many years. Last I heard, we were taking about getting a large skip, so I suspect this culling is going to be savage.

But, just to be clear, no books will be thrown out!

NaNoWriMo – April – 2023 — Day 4

“The Things We Do For Love”

That first encounter outside the confines of the hotel has shaken him.  He realises that he really has no understanding of women and that his first love with Jane had done nothing to prepare him.

It only reinforces the notion that he should simply avoid her where possible.

Yet, over dinner, she tells him her story, not the real story, but close enough to the truth.  In doing so, allowing the door to be ajar, she realises this could become complicated very quickly.

And yet, despite her resolution to remain aloof, she is curious.  Who is this Henry?

The beach quickly becomes Henry’s thinking place.  He ruminates on what a friend on board the ship, Radly, might think of his situation.  Radly is a lady’s man and would have swept Michelle off her feet by now.

Michelle reappears, and, curious about him, asks him who he is, those usual questions, where he lives, and what he does.

Why?  If she is only there to hide, why get involved?

Words written 3,482, for a total of 13,176

The A to Z Challenge – 2023 — D is for Deserving

It’s one thing to put a date in your diary; it’s something else to remember it’s there.

And then it’s something else entirely if you lose the device the calendar is on.

Of course, in this modern day and age, there’s this thing called the cloud, and any and all of your devices can connect to it, so really, there is no excuse.

Is there?

It was one of those things, you know, four inseparable friends at university, all going through the ups and downs of life, love, learning, and success and failure.  Two boys, Jake Sever and me, Albert Mendall, and two girls, Gillian Rogers and Melanie Monk.

We had lived separately, together, in relationships, and in the end, as friends.  After graduation, there was the party, the celebration, the reminisces, and the parting.  There were no romantic attachments, at least not one I was aware of, and each of us had applied for and got jobs in various parts of the country.

We all promised to catch up once we were settled, and all put an entry in their diaries to meet at the Empire State Building on Christmas Eve in two years’ time, a nod to Gillian’s favourite film, and just in case we lost track of each other. 

That final farewell was, for me, poignant, particularly with Gillian.  We had one of those on-again-off-again romances, it started out well enough but Gillian had always thought there had to be more, and as each succeeding romance of hers failed, for one reason or another, it brought us back together.  The last, she believed she had found the one, and when she left, with Derek, the one, I felt more than a little sad.  For me, she was the one, and it would be a long time before I found another.

Fast forward a year, and I had had sporadic communications from the others, all pursuing their dreams, their lives taking turns they could never have predicted.  Jake has literally married the boss’s daughter, the company he chose to work for a family-owned business.  Melanie had gone from being a forensic accountant to a footloose and fancy-free nanny doing the tour of Europe with a wealthy American family with three young children.  It was she said the only way to finance her travel bug.  Gillian had married the man of her dreams, Derek, and was living in a castle in Scotland.

That left me.

Of the four, I was the one with the most nebulous plans, having taken the first opportunity that presented itself.  I could do anything, but what I really wanted was to be a journalist, a stepping stone to becoming a writer, and then, if the planets lined up, a best-selling author.  That may have been possible if Gillian and I had remained together because she was my muse and fiercest critic.  Without her, that dream had lost its shine.

Now I was languishing at my desk, working for a weekly magazine that was one of the last of its kind in the American Midwest, on the outskirts of Cedar Rapids.  I liked the place the moment I arrived, but there had always been a big if hanging over the job and staying there, so I had diversified into becoming an English Literature teacher part-time at first, but now looking very much like my new vocation.

I’d just finished a feature story on the gradual disappearance of reading and writing skills in schools when I realised, I was running late for class.  I dropped the story on the editor’s desk, ran out the door, jumped in the car, and sped off, thinking that I would make it with five minutes to spare.

That was, until another driver, also running late, failed to stop at a T intersection, and just seeing the oncoming car out of the corner of my eye and gave me no time to react.  I didn’t even have time to say a prayer.

When I woke, I was in unfamiliar surroundings, though the combination of disinfectant, pale-coloured walls, and curtains surrounding the bed were all a dead giveaway I was in the hospital.

I didn’t know why, but a cursory glance showed no visible signs of injury, so I had to wonder if it was something else, like a heart problem.  I had palpitations recently, the first time since I had been much younger.  It had not been serious then, but the doctors had not ruled out, then, it might return one day.  Had that day come?

Inevitably, my waking brought visitors, a doctor, and a nurse.

And not surprisingly it was the first question I was expecting, virtually a cliche, asked by the doctor, “How are you feeling?”

I answered it with a question, “How should I feel?”

He looked almost amused.  “OK.  Let me ask you another question, and this time, an honest answer, not another question.  What is your name?”

An honest answer?  Did I have more than one name?  That should be easy, except…  I couldn’t remember, or was it I didn’t know?  Surely everyone knew their name.  Or was that the reason her asked, that he knew that I didn’t know or that I could not remember.

He could see that I was having trouble.

“I should know the answer to that question, shouldn’t I.”

“Normally I would expect in normal circumstances you would, but yours are not normal circumstances.  You were in a very bad car accident, so bad that we had to put you into an induced coma.  It was supposed to be a week, two at the most.  Instead, it’s turned out to be nearly a year.  To be honest we had no idea when or if you would come out, and when you did, how you would be when we woke you, but loss of memory is probably the best outcome we could have hoped for.  Your name, by the way, is Albert Mendall.”

“Then what else don’t I know?”

“Most likely for the past three weeks, once you started waking, it’s been a rather intense time for you.  Chances are you don’t remember any of it, but it’s fairly standard for long-term coma patients to take time to recover.  We kept you sedated for the last three days, gradually allowing you more wake time, and come to terms with your recovery.  All in all, this is the outcome we hoped for.  It could have been very, very different.  You’ve lost a lot of weight, and you’re going to need a month or two before you will be able to move around.  Other than that, you will have time to work on those memories.  What is your last memory?”

“Going to work, I think.  Going somewhere in a car, that much I can remember.”

“Family?”

“Nothing.”

“Friends”

“I knew people at University, faces but not names.  I know what I studied, Literature, but beyond that, not a lot.”

“You were a teacher, in fact, one of your colleagues has been dropping by every week just in case.  She’s here now if you’d like to see her?”

“It might jog something, but I hope she isn’t offended if I don’t remember her.”

“I’m sure she won’t be.  We’ve kept her apprised of your recovery.”

It made me think perhaps there had been more between us, but I couldn’t remember working as a teacher let alone anyone that I may have worked with.  It was going to be interesting if it sparked anything.

Eileen Westmacott did not look like a schoolteacher.  When she put her head in the door and asked if it was alright to come in, I thought she was looking for someone else.  She looked more like a model, or actress though I had no idea why I thought that.

She came in, crossed to the bed and sat in the chair, perhaps giving me the time to examine her and see if I could remember.  If I had known her, I would remember her.  I didn’t.

“How are you?  Oh, sorry.  Typical silly question to ask in a hospital.”

She had a shy manner and put her hand to her mouth as if she wanted to put the words back in.  Her manner and her smile lit up the room.

“The doctors tell me I’m fine, except that I have no idea who I am, other than the name Albert Mendall.  I’m very sorry I can’t remember you because I feel as though I should.  I know this is a dumb question, but were we…”

“We were very good friends, Al, and things were going in the right direction.  We were going to have dinner the night of your accident and talk about our future together.  I was on the verge of taking a role in a television series.”

“Did you…”

“Yes.  I managed that and came back every week to see how you were.  Tiring, but in the end it satisfied my desire to be an actress, and harsh enough to make me realise it requires someone more hardened and single-minded than me to pursue it.  Teaching ratty teenagers is far easier I can tell you.”

“Did you give it up?”

“No.  Just took a break from it, and wait until the series is aired, successfully or a failure.  It seems failures are far more common than we’re led to believe.  Besides, you gave me a reason to come back home.”  She reached out and took my hand in hers.

It was like an electric shock and sent a wave of feelings through me.  And a few memories surfaced.

“Oh, God!  I did something to hurt you, didn’t I?  I can see you, crying.  It was me, wasn’t it, and a woman named Gillian.”

“What do you remember?”

“Fragments.  I said something really stupid, but I can’t remember anything else, except I hurt you, and you cried.  I’m sorry.  I rather think now, before all this I must have been some sort of bastard.  You said we were going to talk about it the night of the accident.”

“It’s more complicated than that.  You were not a bastard.  I wanted to talk to you about the acting role, and you said that it might be better if I pursued my dream and put us on hold.  You’d just got a letter from Gillian, an old University friend, who obviously meant a great deal to you, and you were going to see her, and I said a few things I regret now, mostly because I think I was the reason why you had the accident.  If we had not argued the night before, you would not have stayed up to finish that article for the paper, you were tired, and … well, you know the rest.”

“I don’t remember anything about her other than her name.  If she and I were meant to be together, she would be with me?”  Another memory popped into my head.  “She never seemed to be satisfied and went off with a guy called Derek something or other.”

“Whom she divorced.  It was the reason for the letter.  She came to see you, I brought her here, and she stayed for a few days, then left.  I sent her an update each month but never got a reply.  I can send a message to her and tell her you’re awake if you like.”

“What would be the point.  I don’t remember her.  I don’t remember anything, other than it seems I was horrible to you, and I was pining after a girl I could never be with.”

“I think you are being a little harsh on yourself.”

“I’m so sorry.  Perhaps you should come back tomorrow when I’ve had some rest if those memories have surfaced, maybe some others will.”,

She stood.  I saw a tear escape one eye and trickle down her cheek. 

“You were the only one who believed in me, Al.  The only one, and for that, I will always be grateful.  And despite what fragments of memory you have, you were never horrible to me, you were probably the only one who was totally honest.”  She leaned over and kissed my forehead.  “I’m glad your back, and if there’s anything you need, just let me know.”

It was not as if after a year of being ‘absent’, you can leap out of bed and do a quick circuit of the hospital corridors.  It took three days to work my way from the bed to a wheelchair, the most time taken disconnecting me for all the monitoring, and IV tubes.

It took another week to get out of the room and venture further afield.  The physio visited me every day, working on a regimen that might see me on my feet in a month.  A month?

No more memories came, not in the next three weeks, and neither did Eileen.  While it made me feel sad, I had to expect it because all I could remember was not being the person she expected me to be, or that’s what I assumed.

The other thing was that I didn’t call her.  I went to, several times, but hadn’t I disappointed her?  What would be the point of doing it again?

Exactly a month to the day, another woman put her head in the door and asked if she could come in.

I thought she was another physio, or perhaps the hospital psychiatrist because I was sure I would be having issues with missing the world for a whole year.

She sat down in the same chair Eileen had sat in.

But her opening gambit wasn’t to ask me how I was.  Instead, she asked, “Do you know who I am?”

First off, the face was not familiar, and yet I knew it should be.

Then I remembered Eileen asking if she should send Gillian word of my walking.

“You must be Gillian.”

“You remember me?”

“No.  I think we were at university together.

“We were.  We lived together, off and on, for most of that time.  In the end, we had an argument, split up, and you came here.”

“You got married, didn’t you?  I have had a couple of flashes, one being you married a man called Derek.  I didn’t remember the argument.  How is Derek?”

“Dead, I hope.  I can state with some authority, the grass isn’t greener on the other side.  He wasn’t you.”

“Well, sadly, I don’t remember who he was, and even worse I don’t remember who I am now.  I’ve been told I was a teacher and a part-time journalist.  It’s been a year, they probably think I left town or died.  What I feel like right now is like I died and come back with a clean slate.  One thing I do know, is I don’t deserve it.”

“There is nothing you remember about us?”

“Nothing.  Did I hurt you?  I’ve been having a few memories where I don’t think I was a very nice person.”

“No.  You were always the kindest and most forgiving person I knew.  I’m sorry that you have ended up like this.”  She stood.  “I should not have come.  I wish you well Albert.”

Then she was gone.

Two weeks later the doctors decided I could go home.

It appears I had a home, a small two-bedroom house in a quiet street, bought from the proceeds of a story, well, several stories, I had sold to a magazine, and on the back of it a sizable advance from a book publisher.

In that year in limbo, my book had been published and I  wasn’t quite the number one bestselling author yet, but my career, I was told, was only just beginning.

Something I did remember … the follow-up novel to the first.

That was the first surprise.

When the nurse wheeled me out into the pick-up area, Eileen was waiting, leaning against a rather expensive European import.

“Your car awaits, literally.  It is your car.  The insurance company replaced the one that was wrecked in the accident.  Good thing it was this type of car, it basically saved your life.”

“Where have you been?”

“Working out the details of becoming your guardian until you’re back on your feet.”

“I can walk.”  I got out of the chair and stood, albeit a little wobbly.

Eileen had come over and taken me by the arm.

“Like I said until you are back on your feet.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.  Besides I had to quit my teaching job.  They are making a series two and asked me to come back.  With a lot more money.”

“Good for you.  How long before the departure?”

“A few months.  Problems with the other actors.  They all thought it would fail.”

She helped me into the car.  It had that new car smell, the one that costs a lot of money.

“By the way,” I said, once she was out in traffic, “I remembered two more things, one which might be of interest to you.  The first, you played each one of the seven women characters in my next book, taking my ideas of them and becoming them.”

“Which one did you like the most.”

“The one I had a dream about, Mary-Anne.”

“I should hope so, she is the wife of the character you based on yourself.”

She smiled at the thought. 

I would remember that portrayal as long as I live, crash or no crash.

“The second, you were not the cause, directly or indirectly, for my crash.  Gillian was.  She called me that morning while I was in the car, and when I went to pick the phone up, I dropped it on the floor and took my eyes off the road for just a few seconds.  It was a few seconds too long.”

“You distinctly remember that, out of everything else?”

“She came to see me two weeks ago.  Perhaps she was looking for the old Albert, the one that took her back every time her romance hit a rock, and then happily left when something new came along.  I’d called her the day before and told her I was no longer that person, that I had moved on.  I was going to ask you to marry me at that dinner.”

She had a wider smile now.  “I know.  I found the ring when I was looking for something else.  The answer’s yes by the way.  While you’ve been on vacation, that’s what we’re going to call your time away, by the way, I moved in and did a little redecorating.”

“Anything else I don’t know about.”

“Probably a zillion things, but the most important, you have a daughter,  she’s four months old, and her name is Mary Louise, after both our mothers.  How does the first day of the rest of your life feel?

There were tears and no words.

She squeezed my hand.  “I know how you feel.  We’ll be home soon.”

© Charles Heath 2023

NaNoWriMo – April – 2023 — Day 4

“The Things We Do For Love”

That first encounter outside the confines of the hotel has shaken him.  He realises that he really has no understanding of women and that his first love with Jane had done nothing to prepare him.

It only reinforces the notion that he should simply avoid her where possible.

Yet, over dinner, she tells him her story, not the real story, but close enough to the truth.  In doing so, allowing the door to be ajar, she realises this could become complicated very quickly.

And yet, despite her resolution to remain aloof, she is curious.  Who is this Henry?

The beach quickly becomes Henry’s thinking place.  He ruminates on what a friend on board the ship, Radly, might think of his situation.  Radly is a lady’s man and would have swept Michelle off her feet by now.

Michelle reappears, and, curious about him, asks him who he is, those usual questions, where he lives, and what he does.

Why?  If she is only there to hide, why get involved?

Words written 3,482, for a total of 13,176

The A to Z Challenge – 2023 – C is for “Confused”

Here’s the thing.

I spent years listening to my brother, the perfect child in my parents’ eyes, tell me just how good life was.

For him.

He landed on his feet.  One of those students who had no learning difficulties graduated top of his class, was in the right place at the right time to get a dream job, and, yes, you guessed it, the dream wife.

His favourite line every time we met, usually at a very exclusive restaurant, or after celebrating the purchase of a new car or apartment, was “You could have all of this too…”

And, wait for it, “if only…”

His mantra relied on one factor, we both had the same genes and in his mind, we had the same possibilities in life.  To him it was simple.  And after years of the same, over and over, I began to wonder why it wasn’t so.

The simple fact was that we were as different as the proverbial chalk and cheese.

It was one of those quirks that appeared in families.  The progeny although produced by the same father and mother quite often were totally different, even when they looked so similar.

George and I were not alike in appearance although my mother always said I had my father’s hair and nose, whereas George was the spitting image of him.

My two younger sisters Elsa and Adelaide, though two years apart were almost identical twins and looked like our mother.

Our mother, long-suffering at the hands of her husband had died five years ago, and my father, in what was the longest deathbed scene ever, had finally died, the previous evening with all his children in attendance.

I was surprised my father wanted me there, and equally so when he usually spoke to me as though I was dirt under his feet. That he treated me better this time I put down to the fact in dying he had become deranged.  The others, George, Elsa, and Adelaide simply ignored me.

His death was the end.  I had no reason to stay, less reason to talk to my siblings, and muttering that my duty was done, left.

I never wanted to see any of them again.

Of course, we never really get what we wish for.

She had never deigned to come and see me before, and our meetings could be counted on the fingers if one hand, her wedding, my 21st birthday, fleeting as it was, and the death of our father, three times in fifteen years. Nor had I met the two mysterious children they had and wondered briefly what George had told them about me.

I could guess.

Two days later. I was getting ready to go back to my obscure job, the one George said was beneath a man of my talents, without qualifying what those talents were, when the doorbell rang.

Unlike my brother’s apartment building with a concierge and security staff, visitors simply made their way to the front door.  I was on the third floor, and the lift was out of service, so it was someone who wanted to see me.

I looked through the door viewer, I didn’t have the CCTV option, and saw it was Wendy, George’s perfect wife.

I could tell she didn’t want to be knocking on my door, much less come into the salubrious apartment, in a building that should have been condemned a long time ago.

I could just ignore her, but she looked increasingly agitated.  People sometimes lurked in the corridors, people who looked like jail escapees.

She just pushed the doorbell again when I opened the door.  She didn’t wait for me to ask her in, stopping dead in the middle of the one other room I had other than a bedroom.

I could see it written all over her face, this, to her, was how the other half lived.  I closed the door but didn’t move.

“How can you live here?”  The tone matched the shock on her face.

“When you ignore the faded and peeling wallpaper, the mould on the roof, and the aroma of damp carpets, it isn’t so bad.  There are far more of us living like this than you can imagine, almost affordable.  My neighbour has the same apartment but has three kids and a wife.”

She shook her head.

“Why are you here Wendy?  I can’t believe George would send you down here to do his dirty work.”

“George didn’t send me.  He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Then how did you know where to find me?”

“Don’t ask.  The funeral is in three days’ time.  You should be there?”

“Why?  Everyone hates me.  Even your kids hate me, and I haven’t even been formally introduced.”

“Just come, Roger.  You don’t deserve to live like this, no one should.”

“It’s the real world, Wendy.  Not everyone can afford weekends at Disneyland, and apartments overlooking Central Park.”

She crossed the room back to the door and I opened it for her.  “I’ll think about it.”

“Do think too hard.  After all is said and done, he was your father.”

Sadly, that was true.

I was having dinner in the diner not far from my apartment block, when Alison, a waitress I’d known for a year or so, and like me, could not catch a break, came over to offer a second cup of coffee.

I was a favourite, not everyone got seconds.

“I heard your father died,”: she said. 

It was the end of the shift and just before closing. The last of the customers had been shooed out.

“My life hasn’t changed with him in it, or not.”

“He was your father.”

I shrugged.  “You free tomorrow?”

“Why, you finally asking me out on a date?”

“If going to a funeral is a date, yes.  The service will be boring, the people way above our station in life, and my brother and sisters will be insufferable, but there’ll be good food and top-shelf booze at the wake.  Date or not, want to come with me?”

“Why not?  I’ve never had real champagne.”

She lived in the same apartment block, and I’d walked her home a few times.  “Pick you up at 10?”

She nodded.  “I’ll even behave if you want me to.”

Alison looked stunning in her simple black dress.  She was wearing more black than I was, and looked like she was going to a funeral.  She had turned the drab waitress into something I didn’t realize lurked beneath the surface.

She did a pirouette.  “You like?”

I smiled, which was something given the way I felt about everything to do with my family.  “I do, very much.”

We took the train to Yonkers, upstate, where the family home was, and where my father had gone to die, as he put it.  I’d lived there, in the mausoleum until I was old enough to escape.  The catholic church would no doubt be gearing up for the service.  It was due to start at 11:30, and we made it with a few minutes to spare.

I planned it that way, I did not want to sit with the rest of the family up front.

“You should be sitting with the others,” Alison said, not understanding why I wouldn’t.

“You haven’t met them yet.  When you do, you’ll know.  Besides, I find it better to sit in the last row.  You can escape quickly.”

She shook her head, and we sat.  Not in the last row, she was adamant she would not.  It was about halfway up, on the same side as the family were situated.  From there, I could watch George and Wendy, and my two sisters looking very sombre, receive the guests.

There were quite a few, I counted nearly a hundred.  My father may have been awful to me, but a lot of people respected and liked him.

Soon after we sat two young girls came and sat in the seats in front of us.

Then they turned around and looked at me, then Alison, then back at me.

“Daddy said you wouldn’t come,” the elder of the two said.

“Are you his daughters?  If you are, you could ask him why I’ve never seen you.”

“He thinks your eccentricity would rub off on us.”

Alison couldn’t contain herself at that remark.  “Your father actually said that to you?”

“Not directly.  They’ve been talking about him since my mother went and asked you to come.  He doesn’t really think much of you, does he?”

An astute child.

“I left home and became a motor mechanic.  We are supposed to be bankers, lawyers or doctors.  If you got a car you want to be fixed, then I’m your man.  You want advice on money, don’t come to see me.”

“Are you coming to sit with us?”

“I don’t think your mother and father could handle the shame.  No, we’ll stay here and leave them in peace.”

I watched Wendy glance in the direction of her girls, they came almost running to rescue them from the monster.

The elder girl looked at her mother when she arrived, breathless.  “He’s quite normal you know.”

I had to laugh.  Wendy looked aghast.  She glared at the girl, then her sister.  “Come, the pair of you.  Enough of this nonsense.”  She grabbed their hands and almost dragged them away.

I could see George up the front of the church, glancing down in our direction.  The fact he didn’t come said a lot.  It was clear neither of them wanted me sitting with them, and that was fine by me.

“They’re lovely girls, Roger.”

“The first time I’ve seen them, but they don’t seem to belong to my brother.  They don’t have his arrogance or her disdain.”

“I’m sure, now they’ve met you, it won’t be the last time.  It seems odd that Wendy, that was Wendy, wasn’t it?” 

I nodded.

“Then it seems odd that she would ask you to come and then treat you like that.”

“No, not at all.  I’ve only met her three or four times, and that’s her.  I won’t tell you what she thought of my apartment.”

The service took an hour and various people got up to say nice things about a man who was not very nice, but that was the nature of funerals.  He was dead now, so there was no need to live in the past.

I didn’t intend to.

I had intended to leave and go back home after the service, but now I’d decided to go to the wake at the old house.  It would be nice to show Alison where I grew up and give her some context as to why I hated my family so.  I was willing to bet my room would be the same as it was the day I left.

And it would be good to see Alex and Beatrice, the manservant and housekeeper again.  There were more parents to me than my mother and father.  There were sitting up the front of the church and hadn’t yet seen me.

What I hadn’t noticed during the service, was that a woman had come in and quietly made her way to our pew and sat down.  She had given me a curious look, one that said I know you, but can’t place who you are.

But that wasn’t the only odd thing about her.  I had the feeling she was related in some way, that sort of feeling you had when you met someone who was family but you didn’t really know them.  It was hard to explain.  Perhaps she was one of my mother’s friends, there were a few in the church,  and they, like me, had a strained relationship with my father.

He had not treated her very well, in the latter stages of her life before she died.

Just before the service ended Alison leaned over and said quietly, “The woman next to you.  You and she are related in some way.  She has the same profile, perhaps an aunt.”

As far as I knew my mother was an only child, she certainly never spoke of having a sister, in fact, she rarely spoke about her family at all.  Now I thought about it, it was all very strange.

The service over we could all finally stand and stretch.  The woman slowly stood, then turned to me.

“You are Roger, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“Shouldn’t you be up the front with the rest of the family?”

“No.  I’m the black sheep.  I didn’t like my father all that much, and he certainly hated me, so it’s a miracle I came.  Perhaps you should introduce yourself to my brother, George.”

“I’m not here to see him, Roger, I’m here to see you.”

“Were you a friend of my mother’s?  I know there are a few here, keeping their distance like I am.”  This woman was trouble, I could sense it.

“Yes, and no.  I knew your mother briefly.  I knew your father better, I used to work for him a long time ago.

“Like I said, you’re probably better off talking to George.  I rarely saw him when I was a child, and when I did, he ignored me, and as soon as I could I left, and only saw him on a few occasions since.”

“Do you know why he was like that?  Did he treat George the same way?”

“No.  George was always the favourite son who could do no wrong, the heir apparent.”

“Then I’m sorry to hear that.  That was not how it was supposed to be.”

“How would you know that?”

“Because Roger, I am your real mother.”

© Charles Heath  2023

NaNoWriMo – April – 2023 — Day 3

“The Things We Do For Love”

Michelle, to Henry, was the proverbial black widow, having arrived with every stitch of clothing black or near enough.

They settle into an uneasy co-existence, by the fire, waiting out the rain and weather, not avoiding meals because it would require explanation, but stumbling over the conversation, mainly because of Henry’s shyness and reserve.

The arrangements come to a head when she goes out and comes back soaked.  She stands by the fire to get warm; Mrs Mac brings a towel for her to dry her face and hair, and here Henry discovers her injuries make it difficult.

He helps but makes a mess of it through inexperience and fear of, yes, making a mess of a moment, which, word-wise, he does.

At this point, we discover a lot more about who she is and why she is there, and why she can never have a relationship, friendship or anything with that enigmatic, shy, boy.

Then the weather breaks.

Alone, Henry goes out to explore the coast, finds a way down to the beach, goes for a walk to be alone with his thoughts, and remembers where he had seen her before.

In magazines, ads.  Not only a model but a lot more.  A woman he realizes he is way out of his depth when with her.

She ventures to the beach, and they talk, he discovers small talk is not something that comes easy and is left in despair at his ineptitude.

I know this feeling from experience, and it makes this story easy.

Words written 3,909, for a total of 9,694

The cinema of my dreams – I always wanted to go on a treasure hunt – Episode 36

Here’s the thing…

Every time I close my eyes, I see something different.

I’d like to think the cinema of my dreams is playing a double feature but it’s a bit like a comedy cartoon night on Fox.

But these dreams are nothing to laugh about.

Once again there’s a new installment of an old feature, and we’re back on the treasure hunt.

 

“How long have you been working on this?”

“A week. Lying in bed is boring, so I decided to look at everything I’ve got again, and then again. There were some old maps of the coastline stored with the treasure maps, so I think my father was trying to find the actual location his treasure maps were based on and came up against the same problem. Physical landmarks on the treasure maps are no longer there, and if you didn’t know any better, I would think you were looking in the wrong place.”

“So, in actual fact, what you’re saying now is that your father had no idea where the treasure was buried, that he was just producing maps for the Cossatino’s’ to sell.”

That, of course, could be looked at from a different angle, one that I wasn’t going to suggest right then because Boggs was not ready to hear it. I think the real maps Boggs had found with eh treasure maps were the basis for the treasure maps, that is, his father had to give them real-life elements to keep the punters interested.

“No, not necessarily. I think he knew it was somewhere along this coastline give or take a hundred miles, because of its proximity to the Spanish Maine, but essentially you’re right. He probably had no idea.”

So, he hadn’t come to the same conclusion I had. Yet.

And if I could come to that conclusion, surely Cossatino also would, after all, he was the one who got Boggs senior to make the maps. Why all of a sudden did he think that there was a real treasure map. It couldn’t be simply because Boggs had said there was one. He’d have to know that anything Boggs junior found was an invention commissioned by him,

Or hadn’t Vince told his father what he was doing? Surely the father would have told the son about the treasure map scam.

As for Benderby, senior could base his assumption of the fact that he’d found some old coins off the coast nearby that could be part of the trove. Alex then may have decided to usurp his father’s search with one of his own, conveniently forgetting the treasure maps were an invention of the Cossatino’s. IT was a tangled web of lies deceit and one-upmanship, one that was going to leave a trail of human wreckage in its wake.

Boggs and I were two of the first three. We had lived to tell about it, Frobisher was the first casualty.

But what I suppose was more despairing was how taken Boggs was with the notion that the treasure was real, hidden out there somewhere, and that his father had ‘the’ map. I was loath to label him delusional, but his pathological desire to prove his father’s so-called legacy was going to not end well, especially when we found nothing.

And, yet, I had to admire the lengths he had gone to, to prove his case. Even now, looking at the overlaid maps, there was no guarantee we’d find anything, but at first look, the evidence was compelling.

Except I had a feeling Boggs had something up his sleeve. I had to ask the question. “Where did you get the idea of matching the treasure map to the real map?”

“My father’s journal. It was tossed in the bottom of a box of his other stuff. There are about ten boxes stacked in the shed, stuff my mother just couldn’t be bothered sorting through after he disappeared. Again, boredom pushed me into going through everything over and over just in case I missed something.”

He reached in under the mattress of his bed and pulled out an old leather-bound notebook. It had a strap that bound it together, and by the look of it had extra papers inserted or glued to pages, as well as papers at the start and back of the volume, making it look about twice the original size.

He handed it to me. The leather was old, cracked, and had that distinctive aroma of the hide. I loosened the strap and the top cover opened. The first page was a newspaper cutting, a small piece about some old coins being found about a hundred yards offshore by some surfers. Were these the same coins that Benderby had claimed were part to the trove?

“Benderby was getting that antiquarian that was murdered to identify some coins,” I said after a quick glance through the article.

“I spoke to one of the surfers the other day,” Boggs said. “He told me he came off his board on a big wave and as he was going down saw something glinting on the seabed. He managed to pull up three coins. There were more but he had to come up for air. When he went down again, he realized he’d been dragged away by the current.”

Tides and currents along this part of the coast were particularly bad, and the undertow, at times could get surfers and swimmers alike into a lot of trouble. I’d been caught out once in a dinghy myself, finishing up ten miles further down the coast that I expected to be.

“Then, I take it he can’t remember the exact spot so he could go back.”

“He tried, but alas no. Said he sold the coins to old man Benderby for a hundred apiece and told him approximately where he thought the others were, but nothing’s been found since.”

Not that Benderby would tell anyone if he did. But it explained where the coins came from that he gave to Frobisher.

“Except we can assume that it’s off our coastline somewhere, right?”

“Five miles of coastline to be precise. He and his mate always had a few reefers before they went out, made the ride more interesting he said. He could have been off the coast of Peru for all he knew.”

Surfers, drugs and a colorful story.

“It explains why Benderby and a team of divers have been out in his new boat,” Boggs added, “probably trying to either find the location or line up landmarks on his map from the seaward side at the same time. But he doesn’t know what we know.”

What did we know? I leafed through a few more pages of the diary, but the scrawled notes were almost illegible. I picked up various words, like a marina, underground river, dry lakebed, but none of it made any sense.

“Which map did we give to Alex?”

Boggs went over to a drawer in the wardrobe and leafed through the papers in it and pulled out one and gave it to me. Like the rest it showed the shore, the hills, the lake, and two what looked to be rivers flowing into the sea. Each of the maps had those same features but in different places.

I didn’t want to say it, but it seemed to me we were playing a very dangerous game. The maps might look different in some respects, but the chances were, if Alex was smart enough to hire an expert, that we might run across him out there, and, to be honest, he would be the last person I’d want to see.

“You do realize our paths are going to cross at some point.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

A shiver went down my spine, an omen I thought. Boggs has something up his sleeve, and I really didn’t want to know.

Not right then.

 

© Charles Heath 2020

The A to Z Challenge – 2023 – C is for “Confused”

Here’s the thing.

I spent years listening to my brother, the perfect child in my parents’ eyes, tell me just how good life was.

For him.

He landed on his feet.  One of those students who had no learning difficulties graduated top of his class, was in the right place at the right time to get a dream job, and, yes, you guessed it, the dream wife.

His favourite line every time we met, usually at a very exclusive restaurant, or after celebrating the purchase of a new car or apartment, was “You could have all of this too…”

And, wait for it, “if only…”

His mantra relied on one factor, we both had the same genes and in his mind, we had the same possibilities in life.  To him it was simple.  And after years of the same, over and over, I began to wonder why it wasn’t so.

The simple fact was that we were as different as the proverbial chalk and cheese.

It was one of those quirks that appeared in families.  The progeny although produced by the same father and mother quite often were totally different, even when they looked so similar.

George and I were not alike in appearance although my mother always said I had my father’s hair and nose, whereas George was the spitting image of him.

My two younger sisters Elsa and Adelaide, though two years apart were almost identical twins and looked like our mother.

Our mother, long-suffering at the hands of her husband had died five years ago, and my father, in what was the longest deathbed scene ever, had finally died, the previous evening with all his children in attendance.

I was surprised my father wanted me there, and equally so when he usually spoke to me as though I was dirt under his feet. That he treated me better this time I put down to the fact in dying he had become deranged.  The others, George, Elsa, and Adelaide simply ignored me.

His death was the end.  I had no reason to stay, less reason to talk to my siblings, and muttering that my duty was done, left.

I never wanted to see any of them again.

Of course, we never really get what we wish for.

She had never deigned to come and see me before, and our meetings could be counted on the fingers if one hand, her wedding, my 21st birthday, fleeting as it was, and the death of our father, three times in fifteen years. Nor had I met the two mysterious children they had and wondered briefly what George had told them about me.

I could guess.

Two days later. I was getting ready to go back to my obscure job, the one George said was beneath a man of my talents, without qualifying what those talents were, when the doorbell rang.

Unlike my brother’s apartment building with a concierge and security staff, visitors simply made their way to the front door.  I was on the third floor, and the lift was out of service, so it was someone who wanted to see me.

I looked through the door viewer, I didn’t have the CCTV option, and saw it was Wendy, George’s perfect wife.

I could tell she didn’t want to be knocking on my door, much less come into the salubrious apartment, in a building that should have been condemned a long time ago.

I could just ignore her, but she looked increasingly agitated.  People sometimes lurked in the corridors, people who looked like jail escapees.

She just pushed the doorbell again when I opened the door.  She didn’t wait for me to ask her in, stopping dead in the middle of the one other room I had other than a bedroom.

I could see it written all over her face, this, to her, was how the other half lived.  I closed the door but didn’t move.

“How can you live here?”  The tone matched the shock on her face.

“When you ignore the faded and peeling wallpaper, the mould on the roof, and the aroma of damp carpets, it isn’t so bad.  There are far more of us living like this than you can imagine, almost affordable.  My neighbour has the same apartment but has three kids and a wife.”

She shook her head.

“Why are you here Wendy?  I can’t believe George would send you down here to do his dirty work.”

“George didn’t send me.  He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Then how did you know where to find me?”

“Don’t ask.  The funeral is in three days’ time.  You should be there?”

“Why?  Everyone hates me.  Even your kids hate me, and I haven’t even been formally introduced.”

“Just come, Roger.  You don’t deserve to live like this, no one should.”

“It’s the real world, Wendy.  Not everyone can afford weekends at Disneyland, and apartments overlooking Central Park.”

She crossed the room back to the door and I opened it for her.  “I’ll think about it.”

“Do think too hard.  After all is said and done, he was your father.”

Sadly, that was true.

I was having dinner in the diner not far from my apartment block, when Alison, a waitress I’d known for a year or so, and like me, could not catch a break, came over to offer a second cup of coffee.

I was a favourite, not everyone got seconds.

“I heard your father died,”: she said. 

It was the end of the shift and just before closing. The last of the customers had been shooed out.

“My life hasn’t changed with him in it, or not.”

“He was your father.”

I shrugged.  “You free tomorrow?”

“Why, you finally asking me out on a date?”

“If going to a funeral is a date, yes.  The service will be boring, the people way above our station in life, and my brother and sisters will be insufferable, but there’ll be good food and top-shelf booze at the wake.  Date or not, want to come with me?”

“Why not?  I’ve never had real champagne.”

She lived in the same apartment block, and I’d walked her home a few times.  “Pick you up at 10?”

She nodded.  “I’ll even behave if you want me to.”

Alison looked stunning in her simple black dress.  She was wearing more black than I was, and looked like she was going to a funeral.  She had turned the drab waitress into something I didn’t realize lurked beneath the surface.

She did a pirouette.  “You like?”

I smiled, which was something given the way I felt about everything to do with my family.  “I do, very much.”

We took the train to Yonkers, upstate, where the family home was, and where my father had gone to die, as he put it.  I’d lived there, in the mausoleum until I was old enough to escape.  The catholic church would no doubt be gearing up for the service.  It was due to start at 11:30, and we made it with a few minutes to spare.

I planned it that way, I did not want to sit with the rest of the family up front.

“You should be sitting with the others,” Alison said, not understanding why I wouldn’t.

“You haven’t met them yet.  When you do, you’ll know.  Besides, I find it better to sit in the last row.  You can escape quickly.”

She shook her head, and we sat.  Not in the last row, she was adamant she would not.  It was about halfway up, on the same side as the family were situated.  From there, I could watch George and Wendy, and my two sisters looking very sombre, receive the guests.

There were quite a few, I counted nearly a hundred.  My father may have been awful to me, but a lot of people respected and liked him.

Soon after we sat two young girls came and sat in the seats in front of us.

Then they turned around and looked at me, then Alison, then back at me.

“Daddy said you wouldn’t come,” the elder of the two said.

“Are you his daughters?  If you are, you could ask him why I’ve never seen you.”

“He thinks your eccentricity would rub off on us.”

Alison couldn’t contain herself at that remark.  “Your father actually said that to you?”

“Not directly.  They’ve been talking about him since my mother went and asked you to come.  He doesn’t really think much of you, does he?”

An astute child.

“I left home and became a motor mechanic.  We are supposed to be bankers, lawyers or doctors.  If you got a car you want to be fixed, then I’m your man.  You want advice on money, don’t come to see me.”

“Are you coming to sit with us?”

“I don’t think your mother and father could handle the shame.  No, we’ll stay here and leave them in peace.”

I watched Wendy glance in the direction of her girls, they came almost running to rescue them from the monster.

The elder girl looked at her mother when she arrived, breathless.  “He’s quite normal you know.”

I had to laugh.  Wendy looked aghast.  She glared at the girl, then her sister.  “Come, the pair of you.  Enough of this nonsense.”  She grabbed their hands and almost dragged them away.

I could see George up the front of the church, glancing down in our direction.  The fact he didn’t come said a lot.  It was clear neither of them wanted me sitting with them, and that was fine by me.

“They’re lovely girls, Roger.”

“The first time I’ve seen them, but they don’t seem to belong to my brother.  They don’t have his arrogance or her disdain.”

“I’m sure, now they’ve met you, it won’t be the last time.  It seems odd that Wendy, that was Wendy, wasn’t it?” 

I nodded.

“Then it seems odd that she would ask you to come and then treat you like that.”

“No, not at all.  I’ve only met her three or four times, and that’s her.  I won’t tell you what she thought of my apartment.”

The service took an hour and various people got up to say nice things about a man who was not very nice, but that was the nature of funerals.  He was dead now, so there was no need to live in the past.

I didn’t intend to.

I had intended to leave and go back home after the service, but now I’d decided to go to the wake at the old house.  It would be nice to show Alison where I grew up and give her some context as to why I hated my family so.  I was willing to bet my room would be the same as it was the day I left.

And it would be good to see Alex and Beatrice, the manservant and housekeeper again.  There were more parents to me than my mother and father.  There were sitting up the front of the church and hadn’t yet seen me.

What I hadn’t noticed during the service, was that a woman had come in and quietly made her way to our pew and sat down.  She had given me a curious look, one that said I know you, but can’t place who you are.

But that wasn’t the only odd thing about her.  I had the feeling she was related in some way, that sort of feeling you had when you met someone who was family but you didn’t really know them.  It was hard to explain.  Perhaps she was one of my mother’s friends, there were a few in the church,  and they, like me, had a strained relationship with my father.

He had not treated her very well, in the latter stages of her life before she died.

Just before the service ended Alison leaned over and said quietly, “The woman next to you.  You and she are related in some way.  She has the same profile, perhaps an aunt.”

As far as I knew my mother was an only child, she certainly never spoke of having a sister, in fact, she rarely spoke about her family at all.  Now I thought about it, it was all very strange.

The service over we could all finally stand and stretch.  The woman slowly stood, then turned to me.

“You are Roger, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“Shouldn’t you be up the front with the rest of the family?”

“No.  I’m the black sheep.  I didn’t like my father all that much, and he certainly hated me, so it’s a miracle I came.  Perhaps you should introduce yourself to my brother, George.”

“I’m not here to see him, Roger, I’m here to see you.”

“Were you a friend of my mother’s?  I know there are a few here, keeping their distance like I am.”  This woman was trouble, I could sense it.

“Yes, and no.  I knew your mother briefly.  I knew your father better, I used to work for him a long time ago.

“Like I said, you’re probably better off talking to George.  I rarely saw him when I was a child, and when I did, he ignored me, and as soon as I could I left, and only saw him on a few occasions since.”

“Do you know why he was like that?  Did he treat George the same way?”

“No.  George was always the favourite son who could do no wrong, the heir apparent.”

“Then I’m sorry to hear that.  That was not how it was supposed to be.”

“How would you know that?”

“Because Roger, I am your real mother.”

© Charles Heath  2023

NaNoWriMo – April – 2023 — Day 3

“The Things We Do For Love”

Michelle, to Henry, was the proverbial black widow, having arrived with every stitch of clothing black or near enough.

They settle into an uneasy co-existence, by the fire, waiting out the rain and weather, not avoiding meals because it would require explanation, but stumbling over the conversation, mainly because of Henry’s shyness and reserve.

The arrangements come to a head when she goes out and comes back soaked.  She stands by the fire to get warm; Mrs Mac brings a towel for her to dry her face and hair, and here Henry discovers her injuries make it difficult.

He helps but makes a mess of it through inexperience and fear of, yes, making a mess of a moment, which, word-wise, he does.

At this point, we discover a lot more about who she is and why she is there, and why she can never have a relationship, friendship or anything with that enigmatic, shy, boy.

Then the weather breaks.

Alone, Henry goes out to explore the coast, finds a way down to the beach, goes for a walk to be alone with his thoughts, and remembers where he had seen her before.

In magazines, ads.  Not only a model but a lot more.  A woman he realizes he is way out of his depth when with her.

She ventures to the beach, and they talk, he discovers small talk is not something that comes easy and is left in despair at his ineptitude.

I know this feeling from experience, and it makes this story easy.

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