365 Days of writing, 2026 – 2

Day 2 – A sustainable habit of writing every day

How to Ensure That Writing Daily Is Actually Writing Daily: A Guide to Building a Sustainable Habit

If you’ve ever set a goal to write every day only to falter by day three, you’re not alone. Consistency in writing can feel like a mountain to climb—especially when motivation wanes, life gets busy, or the blank page feels more intimidating than a challenge. The good news? You don’t need superhuman discipline to write daily. You just need strategy, structure, and a plan that works for you. Let’s break it down.


1. Define “Writing Daily” According to Your Needs

The phrase “write daily” can mean different things to different people:

  • Creative writing (a novel, poems, short stories).
  • Journaling (personal reflections or gratitude entries).
  • Content creation (blog posts, emails, social media captions).
  • Freewriting (stream-of-consciousness to clear your mind).

Start by clarifying your purpose. Are you building discipline, working toward a project, or simply expressing yourself? Define what “counted” as a writing day for you. For example:

  • Write 500 words every day.
  • Spend 15 minutes freewriting.
  • Draft one paragraph of a larger project.

Clarity removes ambiguity and makes the habit feel achievable.


2. Schedule It Like a Priority

Procrastination thrives in uncertainty. To beat it, treat writing like a non-negotiable appointment.

  • Block time in your calendar (e.g., 7–8 a.m. daily) and protect it as you would a doctor’s appointment.
  • Use the “Two-Minute Rule”: If you think you’ll write for 15 minutes but never feel “ready,” commit to writing for just two minutes. Often, those two minutes turn into 15.
  • Set reminders (phone alarms, sticky notes, voice-to-text prompts).

Pro tip: Writing at the same time and place daily (your favourite coffee spot, a corner of your desk) builds a neural connection: “This is when/where I write.”


3. Overcome the “Wait for Inspiration” Trap

Inspiration is overrated when it comes to consistency. Most of us wait for the “perfect moment” to write, but daily writing becomes its own kind of inspiration.

  • Start with a prompt. Use apps like 750wordsThe Daily Post by Automattic, or even a random object (e.g., “Describe the chair you’re sitting in”).
  • Freewrite without judgment. If you’re stuck, write the first thing that comes to mind—even if it’s “I don’t know what to write.” Often, the act of writing leads you to ideas.
  • Embrace “done is better than perfect.” Aim for progress, not brilliance. You can revise tomorrow.

4. Simplify Your Process

Overcomplicated write-then-edit cycles can kill momentum. For daily writing:

  • Use a low-stakes tool. A voice recorder, a napkin, your phone’s Notes app—anything that gets words down without friction.
  • Batch-edit later. Save revisions for the next day or week. Right now, focus on moving.
  • Track progress visually. Apps like HabiticaStreaks, or even a simple calendar can create a sense of accomplishment with each checkmark.

5. Make It Accountable

Accountability is the secret sauce for habit formation.

  • Share your goal publicly. Tell a friend, post on social media, or join a writing challenge (like NaNoWriMo’s NanoWrimo Daily Prompt).
  • Join a community. Online groups or local writing circles can keep you motivated.
  • Find a writing buddy. Check in weekly to share progress and encourage each other.

6. Be Kind to Yourself—But Stay Curious

Missed a day? Don’t quit. Here’s how to navigate setback:

  • Reflect without judgment. Ask, “What got in the way?” Was it a busy week, burnout, or unclear expectations? Adjust accordingly.
  • Reframe the pause. A single missed day doesn’t erase your progress. Just pick up where you left off.
  • Celebrate small wins. Finished 200 words? That’s still a win.

7. Reconnect to Why You’re Doing This

Why does writing matter to you? Keep that vision alive by:

  • Writing a purpose statement (e.g., “I write to stay grounded, grow, or share my voice”).
  • Revisiting early work to see how far you’ve come.
  • Allowing writing to evolve with you—your habits might shift, but the core practice remains.

Final Thoughts: Daily Writing Is a Practice, Not a Performance

The goal isn’t to mimic perfection but to build a habit that sticks. Over time, daily writing becomes a muscle you can flex even when it’s hard. It’s not about writing every day—it’s about writing daily enough to notice the difference.

So start small. Let go of the pressure. One day at a time, your daily writing habit will grow—and so will you.

Now go write something today. 🖋️

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 2

Day 2 – A sustainable habit of writing every day

How to Ensure That Writing Daily Is Actually Writing Daily: A Guide to Building a Sustainable Habit

If you’ve ever set a goal to write every day only to falter by day three, you’re not alone. Consistency in writing can feel like a mountain to climb—especially when motivation wanes, life gets busy, or the blank page feels more intimidating than a challenge. The good news? You don’t need superhuman discipline to write daily. You just need strategy, structure, and a plan that works for you. Let’s break it down.


1. Define “Writing Daily” According to Your Needs

The phrase “write daily” can mean different things to different people:

  • Creative writing (a novel, poems, short stories).
  • Journaling (personal reflections or gratitude entries).
  • Content creation (blog posts, emails, social media captions).
  • Freewriting (stream-of-consciousness to clear your mind).

Start by clarifying your purpose. Are you building discipline, working toward a project, or simply expressing yourself? Define what “counted” as a writing day for you. For example:

  • Write 500 words every day.
  • Spend 15 minutes freewriting.
  • Draft one paragraph of a larger project.

Clarity removes ambiguity and makes the habit feel achievable.


2. Schedule It Like a Priority

Procrastination thrives in uncertainty. To beat it, treat writing like a non-negotiable appointment.

  • Block time in your calendar (e.g., 7–8 a.m. daily) and protect it as you would a doctor’s appointment.
  • Use the “Two-Minute Rule”: If you think you’ll write for 15 minutes but never feel “ready,” commit to writing for just two minutes. Often, those two minutes turn into 15.
  • Set reminders (phone alarms, sticky notes, voice-to-text prompts).

Pro tip: Writing at the same time and place daily (your favourite coffee spot, a corner of your desk) builds a neural connection: “This is when/where I write.”


3. Overcome the “Wait for Inspiration” Trap

Inspiration is overrated when it comes to consistency. Most of us wait for the “perfect moment” to write, but daily writing becomes its own kind of inspiration.

  • Start with a prompt. Use apps like 750wordsThe Daily Post by Automattic, or even a random object (e.g., “Describe the chair you’re sitting in”).
  • Freewrite without judgment. If you’re stuck, write the first thing that comes to mind—even if it’s “I don’t know what to write.” Often, the act of writing leads you to ideas.
  • Embrace “done is better than perfect.” Aim for progress, not brilliance. You can revise tomorrow.

4. Simplify Your Process

Overcomplicated write-then-edit cycles can kill momentum. For daily writing:

  • Use a low-stakes tool. A voice recorder, a napkin, your phone’s Notes app—anything that gets words down without friction.
  • Batch-edit later. Save revisions for the next day or week. Right now, focus on moving.
  • Track progress visually. Apps like HabiticaStreaks, or even a simple calendar can create a sense of accomplishment with each checkmark.

5. Make It Accountable

Accountability is the secret sauce for habit formation.

  • Share your goal publicly. Tell a friend, post on social media, or join a writing challenge (like NaNoWriMo’s NanoWrimo Daily Prompt).
  • Join a community. Online groups or local writing circles can keep you motivated.
  • Find a writing buddy. Check in weekly to share progress and encourage each other.

6. Be Kind to Yourself—But Stay Curious

Missed a day? Don’t quit. Here’s how to navigate setback:

  • Reflect without judgment. Ask, “What got in the way?” Was it a busy week, burnout, or unclear expectations? Adjust accordingly.
  • Reframe the pause. A single missed day doesn’t erase your progress. Just pick up where you left off.
  • Celebrate small wins. Finished 200 words? That’s still a win.

7. Reconnect to Why You’re Doing This

Why does writing matter to you? Keep that vision alive by:

  • Writing a purpose statement (e.g., “I write to stay grounded, grow, or share my voice”).
  • Revisiting early work to see how far you’ve come.
  • Allowing writing to evolve with you—your habits might shift, but the core practice remains.

Final Thoughts: Daily Writing Is a Practice, Not a Performance

The goal isn’t to mimic perfection but to build a habit that sticks. Over time, daily writing becomes a muscle you can flex even when it’s hard. It’s not about writing every day—it’s about writing daily enough to notice the difference.

So start small. Let go of the pressure. One day at a time, your daily writing habit will grow—and so will you.

Now go write something today. 🖋️

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 1

Day 1 – The five c’s of writing

The 5 C’s of Writing: Crafting Clear, Compelling, and Captivating Content

In the world of writing—whether you’re crafting a novel, a blog post, a business email, or academic essay—quality matters. But what separates good writing from great writing? Enter the 5 C’s of Writing: a set of guiding principles that help writers produce content that is not only effective but also engaging and impactful.

These five pillars—Clarity, Conciseness, Coherence, Correctness, and Consistency—form the foundation of professional and polished writing. Let’s dive into each one and explore how they can transform your writing from “just okay” to outstanding.


1. Clarity: Say What You Mean

Clarity is the cornerstone of effective communication. No matter how brilliant your ideas are, if they’re buried under jargon, convoluted sentence structures, or vague language, your message will be lost.

Tips to improve clarity:

  • Use simple, precise language.
  • Define technical terms when necessary.
  • Avoid ambiguity—be specific in your descriptions.
  • Structure sentences so the subject, verb, and object are easy to identify.

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
— Attributed to Albert Einstein

Clarity means respecting your reader’s time and intelligence. Aim for transparency, not complexity.


2. Conciseness: Brevity with Purpose

Great writing doesn’t waste words. Conciseness is about delivering your message using the fewest words possible—without sacrificing meaning.

Avoid:

  • Redundant phrases (e.g., “free gift,” “past history”)
  • Overuse of adverbs and adjectives
  • Filler words like “very,” “really,” “just,” “actually”

Instead of saying:

“Due to the fact that it was raining, we decided to cancel the outdoor event.”
Say:
“Because it was raining, we canceled the outdoor event.”

Concise writing is powerful. It keeps readers engaged and ensures your key points stand out.


3. Coherence: Logical Flow and Connectivity

Even if your writing is clear and concise, it won’t resonate if it lacks coherence. Coherent writing guides the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. Paragraphs and sentences should connect logically, building a narrative or argument that makes sense.

How to boost coherence:

  • Use transition words (e.g., “however,” “furthermore,” “as a result”)
  • Maintain a logical progression—introduce ideas in a structured way
  • Ensure each paragraph supports the central theme or thesis

Think of coherence as the “glue” that holds your content together. It ensures your reader never gets lost midway.


4. Correctness: Grammar, Spelling, and Grammar, Spelling, and Punctuation

Correctness is non-negotiable. Errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, or usage can undermine your credibility and distract from your message—even if your content is insightful.

Common areas to check:

  • Subject-verb agreement
  • Proper use of apostrophes
  • Tense consistency
  • Punctuation (commas, semicolons, quotation marks)

Invest time in proofreading, use tools like Grammarly or Hemingway Editor wisely, and when in doubt, consult a style guide (APA, MLA, Chicago, or AP).

Remember: correctness isn’t about perfectionism—it’s about respect for your audience and your craft.


5. Consistency: Maintain Your Voice and Style

Consistency involves maintaining a uniform tone, style, formatting, and voice throughout your piece. It’s what gives your writing a professional, polished feel.

Examples of consistency in action:

  • Using the same tense (past vs. present) throughout
  • Sticking with one spelling convention (e.g., American vs. British English)
  • Keeping a uniform style for headings, lists, and citations
  • Maintaining an appropriate tone (formal, conversational, persuasive, etc.)

Whether you’re writing a personal essay or a corporate report, consistency builds trust. It shows that your writing is deliberate and well-considered.


Why the 5 C’s Matter

The 5 C’s aren’t just rules—they’re tools. When applied together, they elevate your writing to a level where it’s not only understood but appreciated. Whether you’re:

  • Persuading decision-makers,
  • Informing readers,
  • Or simply sharing ideas,

Mastering clarity, conciseness, coherence, correctness, and consistency ensures your words land with impact.


Final Thoughts

Writing is both an art and a craft. The 5 C’s help you refine the craft so the art can shine through. As you revise your next piece, ask yourself:

  • Is this clear?
  • Could it be more concise?
  • Does it flow logically?
  • Is it correct?
  • Is my tone and style consistent?

By holding your writing to these five standards, you’ll produce content that’s not only professional but also memorable.

Start small. Focus on one C at a time. And remember—the best writers aren’t born. They’re made—one clear, concise, coherent, correct, and consistent draft at a time.


What’s your biggest writing challenge? Clarity? Grammar? Let us know in the comments—and share your own tips for mastering the 5 C’s!

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 1

Day 1 – The five c’s of writing

The 5 C’s of Writing: Crafting Clear, Compelling, and Captivating Content

In the world of writing—whether you’re crafting a novel, a blog post, a business email, or academic essay—quality matters. But what separates good writing from great writing? Enter the 5 C’s of Writing: a set of guiding principles that help writers produce content that is not only effective but also engaging and impactful.

These five pillars—Clarity, Conciseness, Coherence, Correctness, and Consistency—form the foundation of professional and polished writing. Let’s dive into each one and explore how they can transform your writing from “just okay” to outstanding.


1. Clarity: Say What You Mean

Clarity is the cornerstone of effective communication. No matter how brilliant your ideas are, if they’re buried under jargon, convoluted sentence structures, or vague language, your message will be lost.

Tips to improve clarity:

  • Use simple, precise language.
  • Define technical terms when necessary.
  • Avoid ambiguity—be specific in your descriptions.
  • Structure sentences so the subject, verb, and object are easy to identify.

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
— Attributed to Albert Einstein

Clarity means respecting your reader’s time and intelligence. Aim for transparency, not complexity.


2. Conciseness: Brevity with Purpose

Great writing doesn’t waste words. Conciseness is about delivering your message using the fewest words possible—without sacrificing meaning.

Avoid:

  • Redundant phrases (e.g., “free gift,” “past history”)
  • Overuse of adverbs and adjectives
  • Filler words like “very,” “really,” “just,” “actually”

Instead of saying:

“Due to the fact that it was raining, we decided to cancel the outdoor event.”
Say:
“Because it was raining, we canceled the outdoor event.”

Concise writing is powerful. It keeps readers engaged and ensures your key points stand out.


3. Coherence: Logical Flow and Connectivity

Even if your writing is clear and concise, it won’t resonate if it lacks coherence. Coherent writing guides the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. Paragraphs and sentences should connect logically, building a narrative or argument that makes sense.

How to boost coherence:

  • Use transition words (e.g., “however,” “furthermore,” “as a result”)
  • Maintain a logical progression—introduce ideas in a structured way
  • Ensure each paragraph supports the central theme or thesis

Think of coherence as the “glue” that holds your content together. It ensures your reader never gets lost midway.


4. Correctness: Grammar, Spelling, and Grammar, Spelling, and Punctuation

Correctness is non-negotiable. Errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, or usage can undermine your credibility and distract from your message—even if your content is insightful.

Common areas to check:

  • Subject-verb agreement
  • Proper use of apostrophes
  • Tense consistency
  • Punctuation (commas, semicolons, quotation marks)

Invest time in proofreading, use tools like Grammarly or Hemingway Editor wisely, and when in doubt, consult a style guide (APA, MLA, Chicago, or AP).

Remember: correctness isn’t about perfectionism—it’s about respect for your audience and your craft.


5. Consistency: Maintain Your Voice and Style

Consistency involves maintaining a uniform tone, style, formatting, and voice throughout your piece. It’s what gives your writing a professional, polished feel.

Examples of consistency in action:

  • Using the same tense (past vs. present) throughout
  • Sticking with one spelling convention (e.g., American vs. British English)
  • Keeping a uniform style for headings, lists, and citations
  • Maintaining an appropriate tone (formal, conversational, persuasive, etc.)

Whether you’re writing a personal essay or a corporate report, consistency builds trust. It shows that your writing is deliberate and well-considered.


Why the 5 C’s Matter

The 5 C’s aren’t just rules—they’re tools. When applied together, they elevate your writing to a level where it’s not only understood but appreciated. Whether you’re:

  • Persuading decision-makers,
  • Informing readers,
  • Or simply sharing ideas,

Mastering clarity, conciseness, coherence, correctness, and consistency ensures your words land with impact.


Final Thoughts

Writing is both an art and a craft. The 5 C’s help you refine the craft so the art can shine through. As you revise your next piece, ask yourself:

  • Is this clear?
  • Could it be more concise?
  • Does it flow logically?
  • Is it correct?
  • Is my tone and style consistent?

By holding your writing to these five standards, you’ll produce content that’s not only professional but also memorable.

Start small. Focus on one C at a time. And remember—the best writers aren’t born. They’re made—one clear, concise, coherent, correct, and consistent draft at a time.


What’s your biggest writing challenge? Clarity? Grammar? Let us know in the comments—and share your own tips for mastering the 5 C’s!

Writing a book in 365 days – 365

Day 365

The influence of a writer’s memory

The Hidden Muse: How a Writer’s Memories Shape Their Stories

Have you ever wondered where a writer’s ideas come from? While imagination often takes centre stage, the quiet, unsung hero of storytelling is memory. A writer’s recollections—of joy, heartbreak, childhood summers, or quiet moments—act as a wellspring of authenticity, emotion, and cultural depth. Whether conscious or unconscious, memories weave themselves into narratives, transforming personal history into universal art. Let’s explore how memories influence the craft of storytelling and why they’re indispensable to a writer’s voice.


1. Personal Experiences: The Raw Material of Stories

Every life is a tapestry of moments, and for writers, these experiences become raw material. A hike through a forest, a tense argument, or the scent of rain on old pavement can evolve into a pivotal scene or atmosphere in a story. For instance, J.K. Rowling’s childhood fascination with folklore and her own struggles with depression subtly seep into the emotional landscapes of her Harry Potter characters.

Memories act as a “treasure chest” of sensory details—textures, sounds, and smells—that bring fictional worlds to life. A writer might rework a family vacation into a fantastical quest or recast a schoolyard rivalry as a fictional feud. The result? Stories grounded in realism, even when the plot is pure fiction.

Exercise for Writers: Keep a memory journal. Note fleeting recollections, no matter how small. Years later, you’ll discover how these fragments can be reshaped into compelling narrative fuel.


2. Emotional Authenticity: Memory as a Resonance Chamber

Memories are steeped in emotion, and emotions are the lifeblood of storytelling. When a writer draws from their past, their words gain a visceral truth that readers can’t help but feel. A breakup you lived through will carry nuances—lingering anger, bittersweet nostalgia—that you can’t fully invent without personal experience.

Maya Angelou once said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” By channelling their memories, writers give voice to their innermost truths, creating characters and conflicts that resonate on a deeply human level. Think of a mother’s recollection of a child’s first steps becoming the poignant backstory of a character’s protective instincts or a survivor’s trauma morphing into a symbol of resilience.


3. Cultural and Familial Narratives: The Stories We Inherit

Our memories aren’t just individual; they’re shaped by the stories we inherit. Family legends, cultural traditions, and historical contexts form a collective memory that writers often mine for themes. A grandmother’s tales of immigration, a holiday ritual, or a national tragedy becomes part of a writer’s lens, enriching their work with cultural specificity and depth.

For example, Gabriel García Márquez’s One Hundred Years of Solitude is steeped in the myths and history of his Colombian upbringing, while Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Americanah explores the duality of identity through her own experiences as a Nigerian in the West. These stories don’t just entertain—they preserve heritage and spark cross-cultural understanding.


4. Transforming Pain into Art: The Alchemy of Memory

Not all memories are easy to confront, but they often yield the most powerful stories. Writers frequently rework pain—grief, injustice, or personal failure—into fiction, offering both catharsis and connection. Consider how Colson Whitehead reimagined his family’s history of slavery in The Nickel Boys, or how Sylvia Plath’s confessional poetry transformed private anguish into poetry that speaks to millions.

This process isn’t about reliving trauma but about distilling it into something universal. By fictionalising painful memories, writers can explore complex emotions with nuance, giving readers a safe space to reflect on their own struggles.


5. The Creative Process: Mining Memory for Detail

Memory is a writer’s secret tool in the creative process. When crafting dialogue, setting, or character motivations, recollections provide a blueprint. A childhood friend’s lisp, a grandparent’s philosophical musings, or the ache of a long-gone summer home can become the DNA of a fictional character or location.

But memory isn’t just about fact—it’s about mood. A forgotten alleyway lit by sunset or the taste of your first love’s coffee might never happen in real life again, but in a story, they become immortal.


Conclusion: Your Memories Are Your Superpower

Next time you pick up a pen—or a laptop—remind yourself that your past is a universe waiting to be explored. Memories are not just relics of the past; they’re the tools that make stories real. They allow writers to breathe life into characters, build worlds with texture, and speak truths that transcend time.

So, ask yourself: What hidden gems lie in your own memories? What stories are begging to be reborn? The next great novel, poem, or script might be hiding in the quiet corners of your past.

Final Challenge: Pull out an old photo, a birthday card, or a childhood diary entry. Let the memories spark a scene, a character, or a theme. You never know where it might lead.

An excerpt from “Mistaken Identity” – a work in progress

The odds of any one of us having a doppelganger are quite high. Whether or not you got to meet him or her, or be confronted by them was significantly lower. Except of course, unless you are a celebrity.

It was a phenomenon remarkable only for the fact, at times, certain high-profile people, notorious or not, had doubles if only to put off enemies or the general public. Sometimes we see people in the street, people who look like someone we knew, and made the mistake of approaching them like a long lost friend, only to discover an embarrassed individual desperately trying to get away for what they perceive is a stalker or worse.

And then sometimes it is a picture that looms up on a TV screen, an almost exact likeness of you. At first, you are fascinated, and then according to the circumstances, and narrative that is attached to that picture, either flattered or horrified.

For me one turned to the other when I saw an almost likeness of me flash up on the screen when I turned the TV on in my room. What looked to be my photo, with only minor differences, was in the corner of the screen, the newsreader speaking in rapid Italian, so fast I could only translate every second or third word.

But the one word I did recognize was murder. The photo of the man up on the screen was the subject of an extensive manhunt. The crime, the murder of a woman in the very same hotel I was staying, and it was being played out live several floors above me. The gist of the story, the woman had been seen with, and staying with the man who was my double, and, less than an hour ago, the body had been discovered by a chambermaid.

The killer, the announcer said, was believed to be still in the hotel because the woman had died shortly before she had been discovered.

I watched, at first fascinated at what I was seeing. I guess I should have been horrified, but at that moment it didn’t register that I might be mistaken for that man.

Not until another five minutes had passed, and I was watching the police in full riot gear, with a camera crew following behind, coming up a passage towards a room. Live action of the arrest of the suspected killer the breathless commentator said.

Then, suddenly, there was a pounding on the door. On the TV screen, plain to see, was the number of my room.
I looked through the peephole and saw an army of police officers. It didn’t take much to realize what had happened. The hotel staff identified me as the man in the photograph on the TV and called the police.

Horrified wasn’t what I was feeling right then.

It was fear.

My last memory was the door crashing open, the wood splintering, and men rushing into the room, screaming at me, waving guns, and when I put my hands up to defend myself, I heard a gunshot.

And in one very confused and probably near-death experience, I thought I saw my mother and thought what was she doing in Rome?

I was the archetypal nobody.

I lived in a small flat, I drove a nondescript car, had an average job in a low profile travel agency, was single, and currently not involved in a relationship, no children, and according to my workmates, no life.

They were wrong. I was one of those people who preferred their own company, I had a cat, and travelled whenever I could. And I did have a ‘thing’ for Rosalie, one of the reasons why I stayed at the travel agency. I didn’t expect anything to come of it, but one could always hope.

I was both pleased and excited to be going to the conference. It was my first, and the glimpse I had seen of it had whetted my appetite for more information about the nuances of my profession.

Some would say that a travel agent wasn’t much of a job, but to me, it was every bit as demanding as being an accountant or a lawyer. You were providing a customer with a service, and arguably more people needed a travel agent than a lawyer. At least that was what I told myself, as I watched more and more people start using the internet, and our relevance slowly dissipating.

This conference was about countering that trend.

The trip over had been uneventful. I was met at the airport and taken to the hotel where the conference was being held with a number of other delegates who had arrived on the same plane. I had mingled with a number of other delegates at the pre conference get together, including one whose name was Maryanne.

She was an unusual young woman, not the sort that I usually met, because she was the one who was usually surrounded by all the boys, the life of the party. In normal circumstances, I would not have introduced myself to her, but she had approached me. Why did I think that may have been significant? All of this ran through my mind, culminating in the last event on the highlight reel, the door bursting open, men rushing into my room, and then one of the policemen opened fire.

I replayed that last scene again, trying to see the face of my assailant, but it was just a sea of men in battle dress, bullet proof vests and helmets, accompanied by screaming and yelling, some of which I identified as “Get on the floor”.

Then came the shot.

Why ask me to get on the floor if all they were going to do was shoot me. I was putting my hands up at the time, in surrender, not reaching for a weapon.

Then I saw the face again, hovering in the background like a ghost. My mother. Only the hair was different, and her clothes, and then the image was going, perhaps a figment of my imagination brought on by pain killing drugs. I tried to imagine the scene again, but this time it played out, without the image of my mother.

I opened my eyes took stock of my surroundings. What I felt in that exact moment couldn’t be described. I should most likely be dead, the result of a gunshot wound. I guess I should be thankful the shooter hadn’t aimed at anything vital, but that was the only item on the plus side.

I was in a hospital room with a policeman by the door. He was reading a newspaper, and sitting uncomfortably on a small chair. He gave me a quick glance when he heard me move slightly, but didn’t acknowledge me with either a nod, or a greeting, just went back to the paper.

If I still had a police guard, then I was still considered a suspect. What was interesting was that I was not handcuffed to the bed. Perhaps that only happened in TV shows. Or maybe they knew I couldn’t run because my injuries were too serious. Or the guard would shoot me long before my feet hit the floor. I knew the police well enough now to know they would shoot first and ask questions later.

On the physical side, I had a large bandage over the top left corner of my chest, extending over my shoulder. A little poking and prodding determined the bullet had hit somewhere between the top of my rib cage and my shoulder. Nothing vital there, but my arm might be somewhat useless for a while, depending on what the bullet hit on the way in, or through.

It didn’t feel like there were any broken or damaged bones.

That was the good news.

On the other side of the ledger, my mental state, there was only one word that could describe it. Terrified. I was looking at a murder charge and jail time, a lot of it. Murder usually had a long time in jail attached to it.

Whatever had happened, I didn’t do it. I know I didn’t do it, but I had to try and explain this to people who had already made up their minds. I searched my mind for evidence. It was there, but in the confused state brought on by the medication, all I could think about was jail, and the sort of company I was going to have.

I think death would have been preferable.

Half an hour later, maybe longer, I was drifting in an out of consciousness, a nurse, or what I thought was a nurse, came into the room. The guard stood, checked her ID card, and then stood by the door.

She came over and stood beside the bed. “How are you?” she asked, first in Italian, and when I pretended I didn’t understand, she asked the same question in accented English.

“Alive, I guess,” I said. “No one has come and told what my condition is yet. You are my first visitor. Can you tell me?”

“Of course. You are very lucky to be alive. You will be fine and make a full recovery. The doctors here are excellent at their work.”

“What happens now?”

“I check you, and then you have a another visitor. He is from the British Embassy I think. But he will have to wait until I have finished my examination.”

I realized then she was a doctor, not a nurse.

My second visitor was a man, dressed in a suit the sort of which I associated with the British Civil Service.  He was not very old which told me he was probably a recent graduate on his first posting, the junior officer who drew the short straw.

The guard checked his ID but again did not leave the room, sitting back down and going back to his newspaper.

My visitor introduced himself as Alex Jordan from the British Embassy in Rome and that he had been asked by the Ambassador to sort out what he labelled a tricky mess.

For starters, it was good to see that someone cared about what happened to me.  But, equally, I knew the mantra, get into trouble overseas, and there is not much we can do to help you.  So, after that lengthy introduction, I had to wonder why he was here.

I said, “They think I am an international criminal by the name of Jacob Westerbury, whose picture looks just like me, and apparently for them it is an open and shut case.”  I could still hear the fragments of the yelling as the police burst through the door, at the same time telling me to get on the floor with my hands over my head.

“It’s not.  They know they’ve got the wrong man, which is why I’m here.  There is the issue of what had been described as excessive force, and the fact you were shot had made it an all-round embarrassment for them.”

“Then why are you here?  Shouldn’t they be here apologizing?”

“That is why you have another visitor.  I only took precedence because I insisted I speak with you first.  I have come, basically to ask you for a favour.  This situation has afforded us with an opportunity.  We would like you to sign the official document which basically indemnifies them against any legal proceedings.”

Curious.  What sort of opportunity was he talking about?  Was this a matter than could get difficult and I could be charged by the Italian Government, even if I wasn’t guilty, or was it one of those hush hush type deals, you do this for us, we’ll help you out with that.  “What sort of opportunity?”

“We want to get our hands on Jacob Westerbury as much as they do.  They’ve made a mistake, and we’d like to use that to get custody of him if or when he is arrested in this country.  I’m sure you would also like this man brought into custody as soon as possible so you will stop being confused with him.  I can only imagine what it was like to be arrested in the manner you were.  And I would not blame you if you wanted to get some compensation for what they’ve done.  But.  There are bigger issues in play here, and you would be doing this for your country.”

I wondered what would happen if I didn’t agree to his proposal.  I had to ask, “What if I don’t?”

His expression didn’t change.  “I’m sure you are a sensible man Mr Pargeter, who is more than willing to help his country whenever he can.  They have agreed to take care of all your hospital expenses, and refund the cost of the Conference, and travel.  I’m sure I could also get them to pay for a few days at Capri, or Sorrento if you like, before you go home.  What do you say?”

There was only one thing I could say.  Wasn’t it treason if you went against your country’s wishes?

“I’m not an unreasonable man, Alex.  Go do your deal, and I’ll sign the papers.”

“Good man.”

After Alex left, the doctor came back to announce the arrival of a woman, by the way she had announced herself, the publicity officer from the Italian police. When she came into the room, she was not dressed in a uniform.

The doctor left after giving a brief report to the civilian at the door. I understood the gist of it, “The patient has recovered excellently and the wounds are healing as expected. There is no cause for concern.”

That was a relief.

While the doctor was speaking to the civilian, I speculated on who she might be. She was young, not more than thirty, conservatively dressed so an official of some kind, but not necessarily with the police. Did they have prosecutors? I was unfamiliar with the Italian legal system.

She had long wavy black hair and the sort of sultry looks of an Italian movie star, and her presence made me more curious than fearful though I couldn’t say why.

The woman then spoke to the guard, and he reluctantly got up and left the room, closing the door behind him.
She checked the door, and then came back towards me, standing at the end of the bed. Now alone, she said, “A few questions before we begin.” Her English was only slightly accented. “Your name is Jack Pargeter?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“You are in Rome to attend the Travel Agents Conference at the Hilton Hotel?”

“Yes.”

“You attended a preconference introduction on the evening of the 25th, after arriving from London at approximately 4:25 pm.”

“About that time, yes. I know it was about five when the bus came to collect me, and several others, to take us to the hotel.”

She smiled. It was then I noticed she was reading from a small notepad.

“It was ten past five to be precise. The driver had been held up in traffic. We have a number of witnesses who saw you on the plane, on the bus, at the hotel, and with the aid of closed circuit TV we have established you are not the criminal Jacob Westerbury.”

She put her note book back in her bag and then said, “My name is Vicenza Andretti and I am with the prosecutor’s office. I am here to formally apologize for the situation that can only be described as a case of mistaken identity. I assure you it is not the habit of our police officers to shoot people unless they have a very strong reason for doing so. I understand that in the confusion of the arrest one of our officers accidentally discharged his weapon. We are undergoing a very thorough investigation into the circumstances of this event.”

I was not sure why, but between the time I had spoken to the embassy official and now, something about letting them off so easily was bugging me. I could see why they had sent her. It would be difficult to be angry or annoyed with her.

But I was annoyed.

“Do you often send a whole squad of trigger happy riot police to arrest a single man?” It came out harsher than I intended.

“My men believed they were dealing with a dangerous criminal.”

“Do I look like a dangerous criminal?” And then I realized if it was mistaken identity, the answer would be yes.

She saw the look on my face, and said quietly, “I think you know the answer to that question, Mr. Pargeter.”

“Well, it was overkill.”

“As I said, we are very sorry for the circumstances you now find yourself in. You must understand that we honestly believed we were dealing with an armed and dangerous murderer, and we were acting within our mandate. My department will cover your medical expenses, and any other amounts for the inconvenience this has caused you. I believe you were attending a conference at your hotel. I am very sorry but given the medical circumstances you have, you will have to remain here for a few more days.”

“I guess, then, I should thank you for not killing me.”

Her expression told me that was not the best thing I could have said in the circumstances.

“I mean, I should thank you for the hospital and the care. But a question or two of my own. May I?”

She nodded.

“Did you catch this Jacob Westerbury character?”

“No. In the confusion created by your arrest he escaped. Once we realized we had made a mistake and reviewed the close circuit TV, we tracked him leaving by a rear exit.”

“Are you sure it was one of your men who shot me?”

I watched as her expression changed, to one of surprise.

“You don’t think it was one of my men?”

“Oddly enough no. But don’t ask me why.”

“It is very interesting that you should say that, because in our initial investigation, it appeared none of our officer’s weapons had been discharged. A forensic investigation into the bullet tells us it was one that is used in our weapons, but…”

I could see their dilemma.

“Have you any enemies that would want to shoot you Mr Pargeter?”

That was absurd because I had no enemies, at least none that I knew of, much less anyone who would want me dead.

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Then it is strange, and will perhaps remain a mystery. I will let you know if anything more is revealed in our investigation.”

She took an envelope out of her briefcase and opened it, pulling out several sheets of paper.

I knew what it was. A verbal apology was one thing, but a signed waiver would cover them legally. They had sent a pretty girl to charm me. Perhaps using anyone else it would not have worked. There was potential for a huge litigation payout here, and someone more ruthless would jump at the chance of making a few million out of the Italian Government.

“We need a signature on this document,” she said.

“Absolving you of any wrong doing?”

“I have apologized. We will take whatever measures are required for your comfort after this event. We are accepting responsibility for our actions, and are being reasonable.”

They were. I took the pen from her and signed the documents.

“You couldn’t add dinner with you on that list of benefits?” No harm in asking.

“I am unfortunately unavailable.”

I smiled. “It wasn’t a request for a date, just dinner. You can tell me about Rome, as only a resident can. Please.”

She looked me up and down, searching for the ulterior motive. When she couldn’t find one, she said, “We shall see once the hospital discharges you in a few days.”

“Then I’ll pencil you in?”

She looked at me quizzically. “What is this pencil me in?”

“It’s an English colloquialism. It means maybe. As when you write something in pencil, it is easy to erase it.”

A momentary frown, then recognition and a smile. “I shall remember that. Thank-you for your time and co-operation Mr. Pargeter. Good morning.”

© Charles Heath 2015-2021

Writing a book in 365 days – 365

Day 365

The influence of a writer’s memory

The Hidden Muse: How a Writer’s Memories Shape Their Stories

Have you ever wondered where a writer’s ideas come from? While imagination often takes centre stage, the quiet, unsung hero of storytelling is memory. A writer’s recollections—of joy, heartbreak, childhood summers, or quiet moments—act as a wellspring of authenticity, emotion, and cultural depth. Whether conscious or unconscious, memories weave themselves into narratives, transforming personal history into universal art. Let’s explore how memories influence the craft of storytelling and why they’re indispensable to a writer’s voice.


1. Personal Experiences: The Raw Material of Stories

Every life is a tapestry of moments, and for writers, these experiences become raw material. A hike through a forest, a tense argument, or the scent of rain on old pavement can evolve into a pivotal scene or atmosphere in a story. For instance, J.K. Rowling’s childhood fascination with folklore and her own struggles with depression subtly seep into the emotional landscapes of her Harry Potter characters.

Memories act as a “treasure chest” of sensory details—textures, sounds, and smells—that bring fictional worlds to life. A writer might rework a family vacation into a fantastical quest or recast a schoolyard rivalry as a fictional feud. The result? Stories grounded in realism, even when the plot is pure fiction.

Exercise for Writers: Keep a memory journal. Note fleeting recollections, no matter how small. Years later, you’ll discover how these fragments can be reshaped into compelling narrative fuel.


2. Emotional Authenticity: Memory as a Resonance Chamber

Memories are steeped in emotion, and emotions are the lifeblood of storytelling. When a writer draws from their past, their words gain a visceral truth that readers can’t help but feel. A breakup you lived through will carry nuances—lingering anger, bittersweet nostalgia—that you can’t fully invent without personal experience.

Maya Angelou once said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” By channelling their memories, writers give voice to their innermost truths, creating characters and conflicts that resonate on a deeply human level. Think of a mother’s recollection of a child’s first steps becoming the poignant backstory of a character’s protective instincts or a survivor’s trauma morphing into a symbol of resilience.


3. Cultural and Familial Narratives: The Stories We Inherit

Our memories aren’t just individual; they’re shaped by the stories we inherit. Family legends, cultural traditions, and historical contexts form a collective memory that writers often mine for themes. A grandmother’s tales of immigration, a holiday ritual, or a national tragedy becomes part of a writer’s lens, enriching their work with cultural specificity and depth.

For example, Gabriel García Márquez’s One Hundred Years of Solitude is steeped in the myths and history of his Colombian upbringing, while Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Americanah explores the duality of identity through her own experiences as a Nigerian in the West. These stories don’t just entertain—they preserve heritage and spark cross-cultural understanding.


4. Transforming Pain into Art: The Alchemy of Memory

Not all memories are easy to confront, but they often yield the most powerful stories. Writers frequently rework pain—grief, injustice, or personal failure—into fiction, offering both catharsis and connection. Consider how Colson Whitehead reimagined his family’s history of slavery in The Nickel Boys, or how Sylvia Plath’s confessional poetry transformed private anguish into poetry that speaks to millions.

This process isn’t about reliving trauma but about distilling it into something universal. By fictionalising painful memories, writers can explore complex emotions with nuance, giving readers a safe space to reflect on their own struggles.


5. The Creative Process: Mining Memory for Detail

Memory is a writer’s secret tool in the creative process. When crafting dialogue, setting, or character motivations, recollections provide a blueprint. A childhood friend’s lisp, a grandparent’s philosophical musings, or the ache of a long-gone summer home can become the DNA of a fictional character or location.

But memory isn’t just about fact—it’s about mood. A forgotten alleyway lit by sunset or the taste of your first love’s coffee might never happen in real life again, but in a story, they become immortal.


Conclusion: Your Memories Are Your Superpower

Next time you pick up a pen—or a laptop—remind yourself that your past is a universe waiting to be explored. Memories are not just relics of the past; they’re the tools that make stories real. They allow writers to breathe life into characters, build worlds with texture, and speak truths that transcend time.

So, ask yourself: What hidden gems lie in your own memories? What stories are begging to be reborn? The next great novel, poem, or script might be hiding in the quiet corners of your past.

Final Challenge: Pull out an old photo, a birthday card, or a childhood diary entry. Let the memories spark a scene, a character, or a theme. You never know where it might lead.

The story behind the story – Echoes from the Past

The novel ‘Echoes from the past’ started out as a short story I wrote about 30 years ago, titled ‘The birthday’.

My idea was to take a normal person out of their comfort zone and led on a short but very frightening journey to a place where a surprise birthday party had been arranged.

Thus the very large man with a scar and a red tie was created.

So was the friend with the limousine who worked as a pilot.

So were the two women, Wendy and Angelina, who were Flight Attendants that the pilot friend asked to join the conspiracy.

I was going to rework the short story, then about ten pages long, into something a little more.

And like all re-writes, especially those I have anything to do with, it turned into a novel.

There was motivation.  I had told some colleagues at the place where I worked at the time that I liked writing, and they wanted a sample.  I was going to give them the re-worked short story.  Instead, I gave them ‘Echoes from the past’

Originally it was not set anywhere in particular.

But when considering a location, I had, at the time, recently been to New York in December, and visited Brooklyn and Queens, as well as a lot of New York itself.  We were there for New Years, and it was an experience I’ll never forget.

One evening we were out late, and finished up in Brooklyn Heights, near the waterfront, and there was rain and snow, it was cold and wet, and there were apartment buildings shimmering in the street light, and I thought, this is the place where my main character will live.

It had a very spooky atmosphere, the sort where ghosts would not be unexpected.  I felt more than one shiver go up and down my spine in the few minutes I was there.

I had taken notes, as I always do, of everywhere we went so I had a ready supply of locations I could use, changing the names in some cases.

Fifth Avenue near the Rockefeller center is amazing at first light, and late at night with the Seasonal decorations and lights.

The original main character was a shy and man of few friends, hence not expecting the surprise party.  I enhanced that shyness into purposely lonely because of an issue from his past that leaves him always looking over his shoulder and ready to move on at the slightest hint of trouble.  No friends, no relationships, just a very low profile.

Then I thought, what if he breaks the cardinal rule, and begins a relationship?

But it is also as much an exploration of a damaged soul, as it is the search for a normal life, without having any idea what normal was, and how the understanding of one person can sometimes make all the difference in what we may think or feel.

And, of course, I wanted a happy ending.

Except for the bad guys.

Get it here:  https://amzn.to/2CYKxu4

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Writing a book in 365 days – 364

Day 364

Writing exercise

His loneliness bothered him less than the reasons for it.

“It happened when I was very young.  I wasn’t brought up this way; that was forced on me by people I thought I could trust.”

The psychiatrist had been working for weeks now, trying to get to the nub of the matter, and perhaps if I had decided not to play a game with them, she might have got there.

But when did I ever make anything easy for them?

“So, you have trust issues?”  She scribbled a few notes on a page near the end of the book.  It was the sum total of my life, according to her.

And the material she would use to write her assessment.

Looking back, that one moment when I finally lost, that one moment of rage that sent me off the metaphorical reservation, there would be consequences.

For her, my last statement could be construed as a major breakthrough, passing through the gate and onto where the grass is greener.

Of course, in reality, it was nothing like that.  I simply had another argument with my parents and left, their strict and stifling rules about how we should behave, and live our lives finally too much.

They could have compromised, as they had for my brother, but they didn’t.

I could see that self-satisfied half smile and understood what it meant.  The longer this had gone, the quicker she had started disappearing down a rabbit hole.

She worked for the department.  She had analysed and buried good people over small mistakes, with what I had told the ivory tower dwellers was a lack of experience or understanding of the nature of our work.

For her, snapping as we sometimes did, was a form of release from doing what no one else would, work that is vital and necessary.  It’s just when there’s collateral damage, the bosses are antsy.

Civilians always seemed to find themselves getting in the way, accidentally, and for that, I blamed the mobile phone culture.  Take phones off people, and they wouldn’t become zombies, they’d be aware of what’s going on around them, and then I wouldn’t be in this chair in front of a one-person execution squad.

That was the truth of the matter.

She simply said I was shifting blame.

Finished scribbling, she looked up.  “Tell me more.”

Pen was poised, expression expectant.

I hesitated for a moment longer before I spoke, an indication of whether she was smart enough to interpret as me taking a moment to work out which lie she would buy.

“My parents simply up and left one night, leaving me alone in the house.  Gone, not a word, not an indication, nothing.  Just simply gone.”

“And before that, how were they?”

“Normal.  Like I said, no indication anything had changed.”

“How old were you?”

“Seven.”

“And what happened next?”

As if she didn’t know what would happen to an abandoned seven-year-old with no other relatives, or none that they looked for, because the child welfare officer at the time was taking children and selling them to the highest bidder.

It had been my second job for the department.

Nasty people came in all shapes and sizes and backgrounds, but this person was a chameleon, someone no one would suspect, which is how she got away with it for so long.

“I was put in the system.  You know how that works, and you can guess what happened to me.  Not what is on the reports, but I’m not going to spell it out for you.  Those memories are buried.”

The nod was acceptance, because my story was the same as many others that came before her.  Candidates who came from broken homes, abandoned, or simply maltreated to a point where they had to be removed.

And sent to Joe’s Diner, to have all that hate and rage twisted into an effective tool against those who had harmed them.  Tapping into that basic raw instinct of killing, maiming and destroying anything or anyone that put them there.

My story was slightly different.  I ended up in jail, framed for something I didn’t do, by a small-town sheriff protecting his son, the real perpetrator.  I was minding my own business, in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I was rescued from one form of torture only to finish up in another, but the end result was the same.

It eventually broke us and brought us here.

I knew the mention of buried memories was, for her, manna from heaven.  A bone she was going to pick at, because in her teaching and subsequent experience, that’s where the key to our problems lay.  In the past.

We had to confront our demons head-on, make the connection ourselves, and start the gradual healing process, somewhere far away and isolated, and preferably to never see another weapon or bad guy again.

I jokingly told the director the only way that would happen was to be put in a pine box six feet under.  That’s when the memories would truly be buried.

It was hard to tell if he thought I was joking or not, but it must have weighed on him, the number of cases like mine.  Just reading the executive summary of the cases before the briefing began made people physically ill, and those were just words on paper.

“Of course, you know that isn’t going to cut it.  You have to be forthcoming in all aspects of this investigation, and it would help your case to remember that.”

Threats no less.  Perhaps the director had told her that I was going to be the one she wasn’t going to crack.  Just as he was wont to tell anyone who would listen that I was his best agent.

I wasn’t.  Not by a long chalk.  That was Andreas.  Even I was scared of him.  He was the best, the best of the best.

Until he wasn’t.

He let his guard down for a fraction of a second.  Less than a fraction of a second.  An eternity in terms of vulnerability.

Another case of shattered trust.

Perhaps somewhere in all of the narrative she had put together over the last six weeks was the truth. 

In training, we were told that when interrogated, everyone grounds their stories with elements of truth because when asked over and over and over, it’s too hard to remember all of the lies, particularly after a long and painful torture session.

This was the more subtle form of torture.  She was looking for inconsistencies, lies, half-truths, and stories worthy of the best thriller writers.

Our whole life was a collection of stories, our cover identities with back stories to suit the person.  Butcher, baker, candlestick maker.

Gambler, billionaire, financier, mercenary, average Joe. 

When you wake up in the morning, it takes a moment to remember who you are today, and it’s not Harry Wells, the name I was given the day I was born.  He died a long time ago.

Now it was Joshua Bergen.  Yes, Joshua.

“Let’s start again, shall we?  From the top.  Why did you think you’re here?”

Yep, here we go again.

“I believe we’ve covered this ten times, perhaps more, before.  If there are inconsistencies, just ask specific questions.”

“That’s not how this works.”

“Asking the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of madness.  You do know that?”

Perhaps she didn’t, at least not in this context.  Her expression had changed to one of annoyance.  She liked to be the one running the session.

“Again.”  Short, sharp.

“No.  Like Chinese whispers, we both know stories change each time they’re related, otherwise if it was exactly the same, you’d think that it was rehearsed.”

“What I think is irrelevant.”

“It isn’t, though.  He needs to know what happened because, like me, there was more going on than he was led to believe; that he was a pawn in someone else’s game.”

“A setup?”

“Someone else is looking for a scapegoat.  Either him or me, it doesn’t matter.  Just another breach of trust, being told one thing and it turns out to be something else entirely.”

Like that last assignment, a total botch, or so it seemed.

Collateral damage happens, but this time it extended to the wife of a Cabinet minister who was believed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Only I knew the true story, that she was there to hand over her husband’s secrets.

I was there to talk to a high-level public servant who had asked Rawlins for clandestine assistance in a delicate matter.  It was not to meet up with the woman; she arrived unexpectedly and in a highly agitated state.

It was clear to me who she was and what was going on between them.  Except before a word was exchanged, he shot her, turned the gun on me, and I shot him.

The woman was barely alive when I reached her, but with enough time to say just above a whisper, “he is a Russian spy, and I’m not the only one he is blackmailing.”  There was more, but she was out of time and life.

Ten seconds later, the SAS kicked the door in, and I had six guns pointed at me.  Given their first impression of the scene before them, I was lucky to still be alive. 

“What was your mission?”

“To assist the public servant.  Favours owed.  Whatever he needed.”

“Did you shoot the woman?”

“No.  Ballistics will prove it.”

She shook her head.  “No.  They won’t.  Both shots, man and woman, came from your weapon.”

That was impossible.  I only fired one shot.  Except as everyone in the department knew, the boffins could manufacture evidence to suit any narrative.  Write me out of the script, or in.

“So, as you say, a setup.  Someone wants to take Rawlins down.”

“Or you, if you don’t tell me the truth.  Why was she there?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“It can’t be that simple.”

“Well, that’s the problem.  It is that simple.  I know Rawlins doesn’t believe in coincidences, neither do I, for that matter, but there’s a first time for everything.”

“Why did you shoot the target?”

“He shot the woman before she went to speak, then turned the gun on me.  Reflex action.  I can’t tell you why he took that action, but it stopped her from doing or saying anything.  I did not shoot the woman; I had no reason to.  She just burst into the room, indicating she’d met him before, and expected him to be there.”

There was a knock on the door, and without waiting to be asked, Rawlins came in.  A nod in the woman’s direction, she closed the notebook, picked up her bag and left, closing the door behind her.

I knew Rawlins had been watching, and I suspected she had an earpiece where he was suggesting what to ask.

He would also be observing and analysing.

He didn’t sit.

“She said something to you, in those last few seconds.”

Why didn’t it surprise me that the target’s room was under surveillance?  Rawlins obviously suspected the target had an agenda.  That he had waited so long for me to volunteer to tell him was the interesting part.

“Why would you think it would be significant?”

“We suspected she was having an affair.  Her husband did and told his head of security.  He told us.  They weren’t having an affair, were they?”

“From what I saw, it was very definitely an affair.”

“He shot her, without a moment’s thought.”

“Hence, we will never know.  If he hadn’t aimed the gun at me, we might have got to find out,  but I think now, seeing you here, this whole episode was staged to get rid of two problems, a double agent and a treasonous wife, without having to bear the dirty linen in public.”

Rawlins sat in the recently vacated seat.

“A satisfactory result for an unsatisfactory problem.  Two birds with one stone.”

“The minister?”

“Heartbroken, but his personal assistant is helping him get over the crisis.”

“Life goes on?”

“As indeed it always will.  I hate feeding you to the dogs, but you know what it’s like in the new age intelligence landscape.  Transparency.  Access to psychological help to avoid trauma, stress leave, so there’s less room for errors.  A week’s leave, I’m afraid.  Talk to Mandy, she’ll set it up.  So, just what did Melanie say in that last dying breath?”

“Told me to remind her husband to feed Chester, their new cat.  I think she thought more of that cat than her husband.”

Rawlins laughed.  “Of course, she didn’t say that.  We will talk about this again.  When you get back.”

©  Charles Heath  2025

Writing a book in 365 days – 364

Day 364

Writing exercise

His loneliness bothered him less than the reasons for it.

“It happened when I was very young.  I wasn’t brought up this way; that was forced on me by people I thought I could trust.”

The psychiatrist had been working for weeks now, trying to get to the nub of the matter, and perhaps if I had decided not to play a game with them, she might have got there.

But when did I ever make anything easy for them?

“So, you have trust issues?”  She scribbled a few notes on a page near the end of the book.  It was the sum total of my life, according to her.

And the material she would use to write her assessment.

Looking back, that one moment when I finally lost, that one moment of rage that sent me off the metaphorical reservation, there would be consequences.

For her, my last statement could be construed as a major breakthrough, passing through the gate and onto where the grass is greener.

Of course, in reality, it was nothing like that.  I simply had another argument with my parents and left, their strict and stifling rules about how we should behave, and live our lives finally too much.

They could have compromised, as they had for my brother, but they didn’t.

I could see that self-satisfied half smile and understood what it meant.  The longer this had gone, the quicker she had started disappearing down a rabbit hole.

She worked for the department.  She had analysed and buried good people over small mistakes, with what I had told the ivory tower dwellers was a lack of experience or understanding of the nature of our work.

For her, snapping as we sometimes did, was a form of release from doing what no one else would, work that is vital and necessary.  It’s just when there’s collateral damage, the bosses are antsy.

Civilians always seemed to find themselves getting in the way, accidentally, and for that, I blamed the mobile phone culture.  Take phones off people, and they wouldn’t become zombies, they’d be aware of what’s going on around them, and then I wouldn’t be in this chair in front of a one-person execution squad.

That was the truth of the matter.

She simply said I was shifting blame.

Finished scribbling, she looked up.  “Tell me more.”

Pen was poised, expression expectant.

I hesitated for a moment longer before I spoke, an indication of whether she was smart enough to interpret as me taking a moment to work out which lie she would buy.

“My parents simply up and left one night, leaving me alone in the house.  Gone, not a word, not an indication, nothing.  Just simply gone.”

“And before that, how were they?”

“Normal.  Like I said, no indication anything had changed.”

“How old were you?”

“Seven.”

“And what happened next?”

As if she didn’t know what would happen to an abandoned seven-year-old with no other relatives, or none that they looked for, because the child welfare officer at the time was taking children and selling them to the highest bidder.

It had been my second job for the department.

Nasty people came in all shapes and sizes and backgrounds, but this person was a chameleon, someone no one would suspect, which is how she got away with it for so long.

“I was put in the system.  You know how that works, and you can guess what happened to me.  Not what is on the reports, but I’m not going to spell it out for you.  Those memories are buried.”

The nod was acceptance, because my story was the same as many others that came before her.  Candidates who came from broken homes, abandoned, or simply maltreated to a point where they had to be removed.

And sent to Joe’s Diner, to have all that hate and rage twisted into an effective tool against those who had harmed them.  Tapping into that basic raw instinct of killing, maiming and destroying anything or anyone that put them there.

My story was slightly different.  I ended up in jail, framed for something I didn’t do, by a small-town sheriff protecting his son, the real perpetrator.  I was minding my own business, in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I was rescued from one form of torture only to finish up in another, but the end result was the same.

It eventually broke us and brought us here.

I knew the mention of buried memories was, for her, manna from heaven.  A bone she was going to pick at, because in her teaching and subsequent experience, that’s where the key to our problems lay.  In the past.

We had to confront our demons head-on, make the connection ourselves, and start the gradual healing process, somewhere far away and isolated, and preferably to never see another weapon or bad guy again.

I jokingly told the director the only way that would happen was to be put in a pine box six feet under.  That’s when the memories would truly be buried.

It was hard to tell if he thought I was joking or not, but it must have weighed on him, the number of cases like mine.  Just reading the executive summary of the cases before the briefing began made people physically ill, and those were just words on paper.

“Of course, you know that isn’t going to cut it.  You have to be forthcoming in all aspects of this investigation, and it would help your case to remember that.”

Threats no less.  Perhaps the director had told her that I was going to be the one she wasn’t going to crack.  Just as he was wont to tell anyone who would listen that I was his best agent.

I wasn’t.  Not by a long chalk.  That was Andreas.  Even I was scared of him.  He was the best, the best of the best.

Until he wasn’t.

He let his guard down for a fraction of a second.  Less than a fraction of a second.  An eternity in terms of vulnerability.

Another case of shattered trust.

Perhaps somewhere in all of the narrative she had put together over the last six weeks was the truth. 

In training, we were told that when interrogated, everyone grounds their stories with elements of truth because when asked over and over and over, it’s too hard to remember all of the lies, particularly after a long and painful torture session.

This was the more subtle form of torture.  She was looking for inconsistencies, lies, half-truths, and stories worthy of the best thriller writers.

Our whole life was a collection of stories, our cover identities with back stories to suit the person.  Butcher, baker, candlestick maker.

Gambler, billionaire, financier, mercenary, average Joe. 

When you wake up in the morning, it takes a moment to remember who you are today, and it’s not Harry Wells, the name I was given the day I was born.  He died a long time ago.

Now it was Joshua Bergen.  Yes, Joshua.

“Let’s start again, shall we?  From the top.  Why did you think you’re here?”

Yep, here we go again.

“I believe we’ve covered this ten times, perhaps more, before.  If there are inconsistencies, just ask specific questions.”

“That’s not how this works.”

“Asking the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of madness.  You do know that?”

Perhaps she didn’t, at least not in this context.  Her expression had changed to one of annoyance.  She liked to be the one running the session.

“Again.”  Short, sharp.

“No.  Like Chinese whispers, we both know stories change each time they’re related, otherwise if it was exactly the same, you’d think that it was rehearsed.”

“What I think is irrelevant.”

“It isn’t, though.  He needs to know what happened because, like me, there was more going on than he was led to believe; that he was a pawn in someone else’s game.”

“A setup?”

“Someone else is looking for a scapegoat.  Either him or me, it doesn’t matter.  Just another breach of trust, being told one thing and it turns out to be something else entirely.”

Like that last assignment, a total botch, or so it seemed.

Collateral damage happens, but this time it extended to the wife of a Cabinet minister who was believed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Only I knew the true story, that she was there to hand over her husband’s secrets.

I was there to talk to a high-level public servant who had asked Rawlins for clandestine assistance in a delicate matter.  It was not to meet up with the woman; she arrived unexpectedly and in a highly agitated state.

It was clear to me who she was and what was going on between them.  Except before a word was exchanged, he shot her, turned the gun on me, and I shot him.

The woman was barely alive when I reached her, but with enough time to say just above a whisper, “he is a Russian spy, and I’m not the only one he is blackmailing.”  There was more, but she was out of time and life.

Ten seconds later, the SAS kicked the door in, and I had six guns pointed at me.  Given their first impression of the scene before them, I was lucky to still be alive. 

“What was your mission?”

“To assist the public servant.  Favours owed.  Whatever he needed.”

“Did you shoot the woman?”

“No.  Ballistics will prove it.”

She shook her head.  “No.  They won’t.  Both shots, man and woman, came from your weapon.”

That was impossible.  I only fired one shot.  Except as everyone in the department knew, the boffins could manufacture evidence to suit any narrative.  Write me out of the script, or in.

“So, as you say, a setup.  Someone wants to take Rawlins down.”

“Or you, if you don’t tell me the truth.  Why was she there?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“It can’t be that simple.”

“Well, that’s the problem.  It is that simple.  I know Rawlins doesn’t believe in coincidences, neither do I, for that matter, but there’s a first time for everything.”

“Why did you shoot the target?”

“He shot the woman before she went to speak, then turned the gun on me.  Reflex action.  I can’t tell you why he took that action, but it stopped her from doing or saying anything.  I did not shoot the woman; I had no reason to.  She just burst into the room, indicating she’d met him before, and expected him to be there.”

There was a knock on the door, and without waiting to be asked, Rawlins came in.  A nod in the woman’s direction, she closed the notebook, picked up her bag and left, closing the door behind her.

I knew Rawlins had been watching, and I suspected she had an earpiece where he was suggesting what to ask.

He would also be observing and analysing.

He didn’t sit.

“She said something to you, in those last few seconds.”

Why didn’t it surprise me that the target’s room was under surveillance?  Rawlins obviously suspected the target had an agenda.  That he had waited so long for me to volunteer to tell him was the interesting part.

“Why would you think it would be significant?”

“We suspected she was having an affair.  Her husband did and told his head of security.  He told us.  They weren’t having an affair, were they?”

“From what I saw, it was very definitely an affair.”

“He shot her, without a moment’s thought.”

“Hence, we will never know.  If he hadn’t aimed the gun at me, we might have got to find out,  but I think now, seeing you here, this whole episode was staged to get rid of two problems, a double agent and a treasonous wife, without having to bear the dirty linen in public.”

Rawlins sat in the recently vacated seat.

“A satisfactory result for an unsatisfactory problem.  Two birds with one stone.”

“The minister?”

“Heartbroken, but his personal assistant is helping him get over the crisis.”

“Life goes on?”

“As indeed it always will.  I hate feeding you to the dogs, but you know what it’s like in the new age intelligence landscape.  Transparency.  Access to psychological help to avoid trauma, stress leave, so there’s less room for errors.  A week’s leave, I’m afraid.  Talk to Mandy, she’ll set it up.  So, just what did Melanie say in that last dying breath?”

“Told me to remind her husband to feed Chester, their new cat.  I think she thought more of that cat than her husband.”

Rawlins laughed.  “Of course, she didn’t say that.  We will talk about this again.  When you get back.”

©  Charles Heath  2025