When you’re tired, anything can happen!

It’s late at night and there are twenty other story ideas that are currently running around in my head, instead of the story I should be working on.

These ideas are impinging on the current story, and somehow are finding their way onto the page.

Writing, cursing, deleting, re-writing, deleting, cursing.

I’m working on the latest book and it is not going well.  I don’t have writer’s block, I think it is more a case of self-doubt.  It’s why I can’t concentrate.

It’s why I’m thinking about the next story and not staying on track.

This leads me to be over critical of what I have written and much pressing of the delete key.  Only to realize that an action taken in haste can be regrettable, and makes me feel even more depressed when I realize the deletions are irrecoverable.

Damn.

I think I’d be happier in a garret somewhere channeling van Gogh’s rage.

Lesson learned – don’t delete, save it to a text file so it can be retrieved when sanity returns.

I was not happy with the previous start.  Funny about that, because until a few weeks ago I thought the start was perfect.

It seems it’s been like that for a few weeks now, not being able to stick to the job in hand, doing anything but what I’m supposed to be doing.  I recognize the restlessness, I’m not happy with the story as it is, so rather than getting on with it, I find myself writing words just for the sake of writing words.

Any words are better than none, right?

So I rewrote the start, added about a hundred pages and now I have to do a mass of rewriting of what was basically the whole book.

But here’s the thing.

This morning I woke up and looked at the new start, and it has inspired me.

Perhaps all I needed was several weeks of teeth gnashing, and self-doubt to get myself back on track.

 

“The Document” – a thirty-day revision – Day 3

This book has been written for some time and the manuscript was sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

So, finally, the plan is working

The story is progressing and I can see, for the moment, that the story is heading in the right direction.

Of course, in saying that, it might just jinx the project.

There was a small moment of hesitation though, one of those, perhaps this might be a ‘better way moment’ that caused a brief stoppage while I considered the consequences. Then of course I make that fatal change that will have consequences later on.

Then I just added another sticky note to the four hundred others lining the monitor and nearby shelves and went back to work.

Who needs a good memory when you’ve got a hundred pads of stick notes just waiting to be used.

Got to get those 1,667 words revised.

How would we survive without what we now take for granted?

There is a saying ‘you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone’.

For a long time, in days before the current technological age, I didn’t really understand what that meant.

Until now.

How many times, in the last few days have I heard the question, “Where’s my mobile phone?”.

It seems we can lose almost anything else but, without the phone, we are completely lost.

The same now applies to all of our household appliances.

Then, the other day I heard, “We aren’t able to do very much because the microwave oven is broken.”

How did we manage in the days before we had such devices?  I know my grandmother used to have a wood stove and cooked everything, bread, meat, fish, vegetables, cakes, puddings, even made a cup of tea with that stove.

I don’t think I ever had a cup of coffee at her house, but I have a lot of memories of some amazing food.  No such thing as electric kitchen appliances, or a microwave oven, not in that house.

We had the same experience ourselves when one of the fridge/freezer units broke down, and severely restricted what we could cook and store, especially the freezer.

And perhaps that’s the problem.  We take so many things for granted and live a life that is centered around convenience.

What would happen if those conveniences were taken away?

Certainly, for me, I know, what it’s like to lose the use of a kitchen appliance and having to improvise, but I’m not sure how we would react if we had a real catastrophe, like having no electricity.

We try not to think about what it would be like, just a short blackout is enough to frighten us.

But, I haven’t lost my phone yet.

Let’s hope it never happens.

“The Document” – a thirty-day revision – Day 2

This book has been written for some time and the manuscript was sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

At last, a chance to get words on paper

Planning is fine but it’s not much good if you are up against a deadline. I’ve given myself 30 days to get this done, using the methodology I use for NaNoWriMo. I started with only the barest of outlines to work with, but now I have that and all the scribbled notes to go with it.

(Picture me shaking my head right here!)

I know where this story is going to end up, that isn’t going to change, but some elements of it might. That’s the ramifications of yesterday’s tangent.

I guess writing a story is always a fluid situation, but it’s not a first for me.

I’m generally a fly-by-the-seat of my pants writer so let’s see where this takes me.

For now, it’s back to the pen and paper.

I haven’t written my quota of words for today yet.

Going to church on Sunday

This is my least favored option for spending a Sunday morning, but having married a Catholic and agreeing to adopt Catholicism, it’s one of those things that has to be done on rare occasions, usually a child’s milestone.

Yes, we went through our children’s moments like baptism, first communion, and confirmation, or these days in a somewhat different order.  Then it came to the turn of our grandchildren and today the last child is making her first communion, and there will end our involvement till the last rites.

Hopefully.

Church to me doesn’t hold any real significance.  It doesn’t mean that I would debunk the idea of religion and I firmly believe that if anyone believes in God, then that’s their right.

And it seems there are a lot of believers.  I’m sitting in the church now and it is packed.  It might be that it’s a captive audience given that it’s a first communion for grade three students and others. but given the enthusiasm of the children involved, I’d say the church was about to get over a hundred new followers.

Of course, a lot depends on the enthusiasm and devoutness of the parents who may wish to spend their Sundays in a different manner, but I suspect there are many here who will continue their devoutness in some form or other.

As for me, sadly, I will continue to use the only day of the week it’s possible to sleep in.

“The Document” – a thirty-day revision – Day 2

This book has been written for some time and the manuscript was sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

At last, a chance to get words on paper

Planning is fine but it’s not much good if you are up against a deadline. I’ve given myself 30 days to get this done, using the methodology I use for NaNoWriMo. I started with only the barest of outlines to work with, but now I have that and all the scribbled notes to go with it.

(Picture me shaking my head right here!)

I know where this story is going to end up, that isn’t going to change, but some elements of it might. That’s the ramifications of yesterday’s tangent.

I guess writing a story is always a fluid situation, but it’s not a first for me.

I’m generally a fly-by-the-seat of my pants writer so let’s see where this takes me.

For now, it’s back to the pen and paper.

I haven’t written my quota of words for today yet.

“The Document” – a thirty-day revision – Day 1

This book has been written for some time and the manuscript was sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

I thought I had this under control.

After all, for the first time, I had a title, a plan, and a synopsis, and was ready to go. I’ve never tried to write a novel this way before.

Of course, it was originally a NANOWRIMO project, and to write 50,000 words in a month you need a plan. Ad-hoc writing just doesn’t get it done.

Even though for the previous two years, it has.

So, I start writing.

Then, damn it, I get another idea, and off I go on that tangent.

The plan’s now looking like it needs an update.

Didn’t plan for that, did I?

Oh, well, day 1 down, 29 more to go, perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Memories blur over time

I was reading an article about the bible the other day, and what I gathered to be the writers intent was that the end result was an accumulation of many time retold and translated stories.

It sort of relates to another story I read years ago and reenacted with a few friends to check its veracity. What happens is the first person is given the correct story, then having memorised it, relates it to the second and then so on along a chain of ten people.

The end story related by the tenth person, when compared to the original, had only part’s of the original story and for some reason new elements that somehow were misinterpretations of original story elements.

This perhaps could be put down to the individuals upbringing and background, which always gets used in the interpretation of what they are told. We all use different methods to remember things and this will always impact how we interpret and relate information.

It’s also the same when three different eyewitnesses to an accident will rarely agree on the details. Certain elements will be the same, but others will not.

When family’s recall events involving all of them, each will remember seminal events differently, and usually from their perspective it will revolve around where they perceive they fit in the family hierarchy. A stronger brother of sister will always see it differently from a weaker one.

My childhood memories are basically different to my brothers, and I suspect those events that he fails to recall are deliberately cast away because either they didn’t affect him, or there were so horrible, he deliberately cast them out.

We all tend to do that. Some members ok tries he has of the so called old days I have no recollection of.

Memories are a choice. We choose to remember the good ones and cast out the bad. Was that the case of when it came to put the biblical story down on paper (or stone as the case may be).

However we look at it, remember it, or relate it, the old days, the days of yesteryear, will always be different. For me, the 60’s and 70’s were horrible, for everyone else, well that’s another story.

“The Document” – a thirty-day revision – Day 1

This book has been written for some time and the manuscript was sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

I thought I had this under control.

After all, for the first time, I had a title, a plan, and a synopsis, and was ready to go. I’ve never tried to write a novel this way before.

Of course, it was originally a NANOWRIMO project, and to write 50,000 words in a month you need a plan. Ad-hoc writing just doesn’t get it done.

Even though for the previous two years, it has.

So, I start writing.

Then, damn it, I get another idea, and off I go on that tangent.

The plan’s now looking like it needs an update.

Didn’t plan for that, did I?

Oh, well, day 1 down, 29 more to go, perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Why don’t we sit down and talk about it?

An invitation that sounds so innocuous, doesn’t it?

As accomplished as we can be at putting words on paper, what is it that makes it so difficult to sit in a chair with a camera on you, and saying words rather than writing them?

Er and um seem to crop up a lot in verbal speech.

OK, it was a simple question; “What motivates you to write?”

Damn.

My brain just turned to mush, and the words come out sounding like a drunken sailor after a night out on the town.

The written answer to the question is simple; “The idea that someone will read what I have written, and quite possibly enjoy it; that is motivation enough.”

It highlights the difficulties of the novice author.

Not only are there the constant demands of creating a ‘brand’ and building a ‘following’, but there is also the need to market oneself, and the interview is one of the more effective ways of doing this.

If only I can settle the nerves.

I mean, really, it is only my granddaughter who is conducting the interview, and the questions are relatively simple.

The trouble is, I’ve never had to do it before, well, perhaps in an interview for a job, but that is less daunting.  Those usually stick to a predefined format.

Here the narrative can go in any direction.  There are set questions, but the interviewer, in her inimitable manner, can sometimes slide a question in out of left field.

For instance, “Your character Zoe the assassin, is she based on someone you know, or an amalgam of other characters you’ve read about or seen in movies?”

That was an interesting question, and one that has several answers, but the one most relevant was; “It was the secret alter ego of one of the women I used to work with.  I asked her one day if she wasn’t doing what she was, what she would like to do.  And, surprisingly, I thought she would have made an excellent assassin, the last person you would expect.”

Of course, the next question was about what I wanted to be in an alter ego.

Maybe I’ll tell you next time.