“The Enemy Within” – the editor’s third draft – Day 12

This book has been sitting in the ‘to-be-done’ tray, so this month it is going to get the final revision.

And so it begins…

Searching for who is guilty

And, while that sounds like it might be easy … just look at those who are accusing you of being the one who messed up …. Clearly it must go back to those who planned the operation, and the intelligence, or lack of it, behind it.

But here’s the rub, you can’t have a relationship with one of the researchers, and then start blaming the back-room personnel.

Especially when they’re adamant they’re not to blame, and indignant you would accuse them.

And equally indignant if they had something to hide, which our researcher does.

So what does our illustrious ex-agent decide to do?

Investigate.

But, first, he has to go home and complain to his father, a man in a rather unique position, and, now, new plot line, the sort of man who can offer help – not the sort that is the pat on the back, and you’ll get to the bottom of it help – but a few interesting people with ‘talents and skills’.

I hesitate to use the word thug, it sounds so, well, thuggish!

Searching for Locations: Venice, Italy

Venice is definitely a city to explore.  It has an incredible number of canals and walkways, and each time we would start our exploration at St Marks square when it’s not underwater

Everyone I have spoken to about exploring Venice has told me how easy it is to get lost.  It has not happened to me, but with the infinite number of ways you can go, I guess it is possible.

We started our exploration of Venice in St Marks square, where, on one side there was the Museo di Palazzo Ducale and, next door, the Basilica di San Marco.  Early morning and/or at high tide, water can be seen bubbling up from under the square, partially flooding it.  I have seen this happen several times.  Each morning as we walked from the hotel (the time we stayed in the Savoia and Jolanda) we passed the Bridge of Sighs.

Around the other three sides of the square are archways and shops.  We have bought both confectionary and souvenirs from some of these stores, albeit relatively expensive.  Prices are cheaper in stores that are away from the square and we found some of these when we walked from St Marks square to the Railway station, through many walkways, and crossing many bridges, and passing through a number of small piazzas.

That day, after the trek, we caught the waterbus back to San Marco, and then went on the tour of the Museo di Palazzo Du which included the dungeons and the Bridge of Sighs from the inside.  It took a few hours, longer than I’d anticipated because there was so much to see.

The next day, we caught the waterbus from San Marco to the Ponte di Rialto bridge.  Just upstream from the wharf there was a very large passenger ship, and I noticed there were a number of passengers from the ship on the waterbus, one of whom spoke to us about visiting Venice.  I didn’t realize we looked like professional tourists who knew where we were going.

After a pleasant conversation, and taking in the views up and down the Grand Canal, we disembarked and headed for the bridge, looking at the shops, mostly selling upmarket and expensive gifts, and eventually crossing to the other side where there was a lot of small market type stalls selling souvenirs as well as clothes, and most importantly, it being a hot day, cold Limonata.  This was my first taste of Limonata and I was hooked.

Continuing on from there was a wide street at the end and a number of restaurants where we had lunch.  We had a map of Venice and I was going to plot a course back to the hotel, taking what would be a large circular route that would come out at the Accademia Bridge, and further on to the Terminal Fusina Venezia where there was another church to explore, the Santa Maria del Rosario.

This is a photo of the Hilton Hotel from the other side of the canal.

It was useful knowledge for the second time we visited Venice because the waterbus from the Hilton hotel made its first stop, before San Marco, there.  We also discovered on that second visit a number of restaurants on the way from the terminal and church to the Accademia Bridge.

This is looking back towards San Marco from the Accademia Bridge:

And this, looking towards the docks:

Items to note:

Restaurants off the beaten track were much cheaper and the food a lot different to that in the middle of the tourist areas.

There are a lot of churches, big and small, tucked away in interesting spots where there are small piazza’s.  You can look in all of them, though some asked for a small fee.

Souvenirs, coffee, and confectionary are very expensive in St Marks square.

“The Enemy Within” – the editor’s third draft – Day 10

This book has been sitting in the ‘to-be-done’ tray, so this month it is going to get the final revision.

And so it begins…

Like I said, Day 8 was going to come back and bite

And, did it ever.

It’s got a lot to do with this fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants thing. It’s fine writing a story making it up as you go, without an official plan. If the ideas keep flowing.

But when revising it’s easy to see the plot holes or potholes maybe, and I just fell in one.

So, going back to the start…

Were in Venice … did I tell you I love Venice … where the story starts.

It’s that age-old premise, a mission that’s blown before the agent left home base.

The mission is simple: a retired agent is pulled back into the field for one last job at the request of a very important asset in the field, to bring them out of the cold.

Our new agent, whose mentor is being recalled, is assigned to back his mentor up, without his knowledge, as a precaution. Why the secrecy is not explained.

That’s the premise, and only became clear when I reached Day 10.

Day 11 promises to be a lot more interesting now.

“The Enemy Within” – the editor’s third draft – Day 10

This book has been sitting in the ‘to-be-done’ tray, so this month it is going to get the final revision.

And so it begins…

Like I said, Day 8 was going to come back and bite

And, did it ever.

It’s got a lot to do with this fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants thing. It’s fine writing a story making it up as you go, without an official plan. If the ideas keep flowing.

But when revising it’s easy to see the plot holes or potholes maybe, and I just fell in one.

So, going back to the start…

Were in Venice … did I tell you I love Venice … where the story starts.

It’s that age-old premise, a mission that’s blown before the agent left home base.

The mission is simple: a retired agent is pulled back into the field for one last job at the request of a very important asset in the field, to bring them out of the cold.

Our new agent, whose mentor is being recalled, is assigned to back his mentor up, without his knowledge, as a precaution. Why the secrecy is not explained.

That’s the premise, and only became clear when I reached Day 10.

Day 11 promises to be a lot more interesting now.

The cinema of my dreams – I always wanted to go on a treasure hunt – Episode 17

Here’s the thing…

Every time I close my eyes, I see something different.

I’d like to think the cinema of my dreams is playing a double feature but it’s a bit like a comedy cartoon night on Fox.

But these dreams are nothing to laugh about.

Once again there’s a new instalment of an old feature, and we’re back on the treasure hunt.

I could hardly say no, but it was not going to be a place either of us would want to be if he came back, and especially if he had company.

But, Boggs didn’t seem to care, and strolled up to the dock, and then walked down to the boat.  IT wasn’t gated like some of the others were, but they had very expensive yachts that no doubt belongs to the local millionaires, people like the Benderby’s and their country club friends.

I remember my father talking about them once, and he had little respect for any of them.,  They, he said, had no time or money to worry about the welfare of their employees, but never lacked for anything themselves.

Looking at those yachts now, I could believe him.

I couldn’t say the same for Rico’s boat.  It was old, made of wood, and looked like boats I’d seen in old movies.  It was about 40 or 50 foot long, with a tall mast and a sail tied up ready to unfurl when out to see.

It had a large diesel engine, and it was this Rico used to get out of the bay until he was past the sandbank at the entrance.

On the transom, it had the words ‘Freedom Runner’ starting to peel and fade, and you could just make out the old name of the boat, ‘Elsie’, perhaps the wife or lover of the previous owner.  That must have been a long time ago, because I’d known Rico as long as I’d known Boggs, and that was nearly 18 years.

I had to ask, “You think Rico is running a collection service?”

“Someone is, according to the police chief.”

“How do you know that?  I thought the police were our sworn enemy.”

Considering the trouble we’d got into over the years, and the number of times the police chief had locked us up in the cells as punishment, we just spent our days avoiding him..  Perhaps the punishment had worked.

“He was around out place the other night.”

I wasn’t aware that Boggs was up to anything that would interest the law, but, then, he never told me everything he did.

“Why?”

“Come to see my mother.”

“What’s she been doing?”

“Nothing.  He was asking her out on a date.  Probably trying to cosy up to her so he can snoop on what Rico’s doing.  There’s no other reason why he would be interested in her.”

Actually, he was wrong.  Boggs mother was, for her age, quite attractive, or so my mother said.  She said a few other uncomplimentary things about her, but I was not going to repeat them to Boggs.

Nor did I agree with my mother’s assessment.  At times I saw more of Boggs mother than my own.

“Or maybe not.  But if she was to go out with him, that would make Rico think twice about doing anything, including giving you a hard time, or trying to steal the map.”

“You don’t know Rico.  He is just plain stupid.”

“He hasn’t been caught.”

“Yet.”

Then Boggs decided to walk over to the side of the boat and step onto the deck.

”What are you doing?” I hissed.

People on the other boats tied up to the pier were looking or pretending not to look, but I had no doubt they would report our actions to Rico

“Going on board.  I don’t think Rico would mind.”

It was said with a fair degree of bravado, but the halting tone told me otherwise.

“Are you coming?”

Damn him.  It was not as if he was giving me a choice.

I shrugged.  God help us if Rico comes back.

 

 

© Charles Heath 2019-2024

“The Enemy Within” – the editor’s third draft – Day 7

This book has been sitting in the ‘to-be-done’ tray, so this month it is going to get the final revision.

And so it begins…

It’s the end of the first week

Is it plain sailing? No.

We’ve circled back to Chapter 9 and it is problematical. I read it, and I don’t like it.

So, I went to one of my beta readers, gave her a copy, and asked for an opinion. I knew that fishing with crocodiles was going to be more fun, but I couldn’t afford to go to Florida.

Two days later I got a three-page critique.

She could have sugar-coated it. You know, yes it suits the flow but there are a few tweaks required, not the last paragraph in capitals saying, IT NEEDS REWRITING.

I could have told her that.

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Did I say I hate editing?

“The Enemy Within” – the editor’s third draft – Day 7

This book has finally come back from the Editor, so this month it is going to get a second revision, a second draft for the editor, and beta readers.

And so it begins…

It’s the end of the first week

Is it plain sailing? No.

We’ve circled back to Chapter 9 and it is problematical. I read it, and I don’t like it.

So, I went to one of my beta readers, gave her a copy, and asked for an opinion. I knew that fishing with crocodiles was going to be more fun, but I couldn’t afford to go to Florida.

Two days later I got a three-page critique.

She could have sugar-coated it. You know, yes it suits the flow but there are a few tweaks required, not the last paragraph in capitals saying, IT NEEDS REWRITING.

I could have told her that.

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Did I say I hate editing?

“The Enemy Within” – the editor’s third draft – Day 6

This book has been sitting in the ‘to-be-done’ tray, so this month it is going to get the final revision.

And so it begins…

At last, the story is coming together.

The first seven chapters, with the necessary revisions and additions to provide stepping stones for later events, have been amended.

The next chapter has been slightly revised.

Chapter 9 is still under construction and can be written later.  The information on the characters in this chapter will be drawn upon for later events, and it doesn’t have to happen straight away.

Chapter 10 is now done and has tied up several loose ends.

I have now been able to sit down and do the forward plan for at least three more chapters, and I know what will happen next.

Stay tuned, anything can happen between now and the next report!

“The Enemy Within” – the editor’s third draft – Day 6

This book has been sitting in the ‘to-be-done’ tray, so this month it is going to get the final revision.

And so it begins…

At last, the story is coming together.

The first seven chapters, with the necessary revisions and additions to provide stepping stones for later events, have been amended.

The next chapter has been slightly revised.

Chapter 9 is still under construction and can be written later.  The information on the characters in this chapter will be drawn upon for later events, and it doesn’t have to happen straight away.

Chapter 10 is now done and has tied up several loose ends.

I have now been able to sit down and do the forward plan for at least three more chapters, and I know what will happen next.

Stay tuned, anything can happen between now and the next report!

“The Enemy Within” – the editor’s third draft – Day 2

This book has been sitting in the ‘to-be-done’ tray, so this month it is going to get the third revision.

And so it begins…

The best-laid plans of mice and men …

All come to grief when you begin writing. Sure, you have a plan, it may be meticulous, it might be scrambled, it might be almost perfect.

I thought mine was almost perfect.

Then chapter one started and I reached a fork in the road. This way or that, or another altogether.

It was a possibility I didn’t see in the planning stage.

Will it affect the outcome?

Too early to tell.

Part of chapter one has now become chapter two, and the ripple effect has changed the number of chapters. It’s a common feature in a rewrite.

Let you know more tomorrow!