“The Things we do for Love”, the story behind the story

This story has been ongoing since I was seventeen, and just to let you know, I’m 72 this year.

Yes, it’s taken a long time to get it done.

Why, you might ask.

Well, I never gave it much interest because I started writing it after a small incident when I was 17, and working as a book packer for a book distributor in Melbourne

At the end of my first year, at Christmas, the employer had a Christmas party, and that year, it was at a venue in St Kilda.

I wasn’t going to go because at that age, I was an ordinary boy who was very introverted and basically scared of his own shadow and terrified by girls.

Back then, I would cross the street to avoid them

Also, other members of the staff in the shipping department were rough and ready types who were not backwards in telling me what happened, and being naive, perhaps they knew I’d be either shocked or intrigued.

I was both adamant I wasn’t coming and then got roped in on a dare.

Damn!

So, back then, in the early 70s, people looked the other way when it came to drinking, and of course, Dutch courage always takes away the concerns, especially when normally you wouldn’t do half the stuff you wouldn’t in a million years

I made it to the end, not as drunk and stupid as I thought I might be, and St Kilda being a salacious place if you knew where to look, my new friends decided to give me a surprise.

It didn’t take long to realise these men were ‘men about town’ as they kept saying, and we went on an odyssey.  Yes, those backstreet brothels where one could, I was told, have anything they could imagine.

Let me tell you, large quantities of alcohol and imagination were a very bad mix.

So, the odyssey in ‘The things we do’ was based on that, and then the encounter with Diana. Well, let’s just say I learned a great deal about girls that night.

Firstly, not all girls are nasty and spiteful, which seemed to be the case whenever I met one. There was a way to approach, greet, talk to, and behave.

It was also true that I could have had anything I wanted, but I decided what was in my imagination could stay there.  She was amused that all I wanted was to talk, but it was my money, and I could spend it how I liked.

And like any 17-year-old naive fool, I fell in love with her and had all these foolish notions.  Months later, I went back, but she had moved on, to where no one was saying or knew.

Needless to say, I was heartbroken and had to get over that first loss, which, like any 17-year-old, was like the end of the world.

But it was the best hour I’d ever spent in my life and would remain so until I met the woman I have been married to for the last 48 years.

As Henry, he was in part based on a rebel, the son of rich parents who despised them and their wealth, and he used to regale anyone who would listen about how they had messed up his life

If only I’d come from such a background!

And yes, I was only a run away from climbing up the stairs to get on board a ship, acting as a purser.

I worked for a shipping company and they gave their junior staff members an opportunity to spend a year at sea working as a purser on a cargo ship that sailed between Melbourne, Sydney and Hobart in Australia.

One of the other junior staff members’ turn came, and I would visit him on board when he would tell me stories about life on board, the officers, the crew, and other events. These stories, which sounded incredible to someone so impressionable, were a delight to hear.

Alas, by that time, I had tired of office work and moved on to be a tradesman at the place where my father worked.

It proved to be the right move, as that is where I met my wife.  Diana had been right; love would find me when I least expected it.

lovecoverfinal1

What I learned about writing – Some days are just an explosion of ideas, and you find yourself working on many stories at once

I’m a case in point…

There is more going on in the story front, and just to keep my mind active, or tortured, as the case may be, there are several other stories I’m working on.

In the first instance, there is the story with the tag line –

“What happens after an action-packed start…”

Quite a lot.

In part one, the protagonist is shot out of the sky, captured, and interrogated – but for what reason

In part two, the protagonist and a select team of misfits are flown into northern Nigeria, before crossing into the Democratic Republic of the Congo, in search of two men being held to ransom.

Previous attempts to rescue them had failed; this one had to succeed. It’s a matter of dealing with local militias who are tricky to deal with, and then getting out of the country after effecting the rescue.

At times, while writing it, looking at a map and using Google Earth to see what it is like, I felt like I was there looking down the barrel of a gun, and then, in the helter-skelter of getting to the evacuation point, I’m sure my heart rate had lifted considerably, particularly when the battered DC3 was about to be shot at with air to air missiles.

Just imagine this …

A DC3 versus a very maneuverable helicopter.

I was on the edge of my seat.

Next is the surveillance story where nothing is as it seems, which in the espionage business is nothing unusual. Nor is the fact that you cannot trust anyone.

It starts out as a routine surveillance operation until a shop front explodes a moment or two after the target passes it. In the ensuing mayhem, the target reappears, now in fear for his life, and our main character tracks him to an alley where he is murdered before his eyes.

Soon after, the two men whom the protagonist is working for appear and start asking questions that make our main character think that they had perpetrated a hit on the victim, and he decides that something is not right.

From there, the deeper he probes, the more interesting the characters and developments. Who was the target? What was he doing that got him killed? What does he have that everyone wants?

I’m about to start on the next phase of this story…

Then there is what I like to call comic light relief, the writing of stories inspired by photographs I’ve taken. Some, however, have exceeded the 1,000-word limit that I’ve set, only because I want to explore the story more, and some are spread over several stories.

They are titled: A picture is worth a thousand words … more or less

The first book of stories, 1 to 50, is to be published soon. Currently, I’m working on number 148 of the third volume of stories, but number 88 is my favourite so far, simply because it involves a starship.

But the overarching point to all of this is that ideas and stories can come in swarms, and unless you can focus on one, which I cannot, it is a juggling act, and one that I love being in the middle of.

And, you guessed it, I just saw an article on my news feed about how lifelike robots are getting, and an idea for a story just popped into my head.

What if you couldn’t tell the difference and … gotta run.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 118

Day 118 – Writing Exercise

With a job that took me all over the world, at times to some of the most scenic and visitor-friendly places to go, I never had the time to stop and smell the roses.

Ever.

There was never enough time.

Until…

I had to retire, forced because of injuries I had received in the line of duty.  It rendered me unfit to resume my chosen profession

Being told had been like the sky had fallen in on me.  The doctor, a relatively cheerful fellow, spoke the words in a matter-of-fact tone.

I doubt he realised the weight of those words on the recipient.  For him, it was another day in the office.  For me, it was the end of my world as I knew it.

Most of it was gobbledegook, until the end, the part that mattered.  The sentence…

“Movement will be difficult, and for a while, very tiring.  It will improve, but that will depend on your pain threshold.  No sudden movements, and plan your trips, short or long.  No stairs, avoid steep uphill and downhill paths, no running or jogging.  Maintain your exercise routine.  I think, at the very least, you are very lucky to be alive, and extremely lucky you have the mobility you have.”

My former boss, Roundtree, had a more profound way of looking at it.  “In other words, now you can get around to doing all those things you couldn’t before.”

“Skydiving, and downhill slalom?”

His bright expression turned into a frown, like the sun going behind a cloud.  “Don’t be obtuse, Sykes.  You know what I mean.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Not your revered leader any more, Sykes.  You are the master of your destiny.  Have you told Wanda where you want to go?”

Wanda was the agency travel arrangements officer.  I had one last trip available.  First-class ticket to anywhere, and a fortnight in the best hotel.

“Florence.”

“Nice place.  I trust your Italian is up to scratch?”

“Yes, sir.”

A frown, but then, I was never going to call him Walter.  It seemed so disrespectful.

“Well, good.  Well done.  Don’t forget to send postcards.”

“Top of the list, sir.”

“Excellent.”  He came over and shook my hand, then left with the doctor.  I would probably not see him again.

You meet interesting people in first class.  It was almost a first for me.  Usually, I was down the back with the rest of humanity.  The department’s attitude was all about anonymity.

I thought it was because the boss was cheap.

But, halfway into the flight from New York to Florence, I’d decided the only reason I’d travel first class was the comfort, and it paid off. 

It was not about the chef-inspired food delivered on monogrammed fine bone china, or the champagne and orange juice when I boarded.  It wasn’t even about that special pack each passenger received on first boarding.

It was just an expensive way to fly.

And see how the other half lived.  Which, by the way, was far more exciting than I usually did, though at times I got to pretend I had more wealth than an Arab Sheik.

There were not many, and they didn’t talk to each other.  There was a family, the mother and father were reasonable, and the two children were brats.  Two CEOs spent the time trying to prove one was better than the other, me, a pretender, a middle-aged woman who was a magazine editor, telling everyone she was on a freebie, a youngish woman who looked like an adventurer, with the whole Indiana Jones thing going on, and two men I suspected were Arab terrorists, or more likely drug cartel leaders.  Flashy but cheap.  I’d met their type before.

The Indiana Jones girl spoke to me before I said anything.  She was nearby and didn’t look the sort to indulge in sharing anything on a plane with strangers.  Neither was I.  It was surprisingly just how many did.

She was coming back from the restroom and simply stopped.  “First time?”

I looked up, surprised.  “Here, going to Italy, being a big boy and travelling alone…”

She smiled.  “Sharper than an Inca death dart.  Pick one.”  She leaned against the wall as the plane shuddered through some turbulence.

“Not the first time here.  Not Italy.  Always working, never got time to see the sights.  Retired, can now.  You?”

“Blogger.  Influencer.  To most, a wanker.  I try the experience for the more adventurous of us out there.”

“Ever crash and burn?”

“Frequently.  Just getting over another failed relationship.  I keep making the same mistake.”

She didn’t look to me to be the sort who made any mistakes. But thanks for sharing, but I don’t care.

“Married men?”

It was meant to be a light-hearted comment.  It went down with a lead balloon.  “You married?”

I think it came out more harshly than she intended.

“No.  No woman will have me.  Broken “

A glare, or a grim smile, she figured I was an obtuse old bastard, and it was time to move on.  A nod, and she went back to her seat.

It was a reminder that you can have everything and nothing.  Someone had told me that a while back, and it stuck

I got through the flight with painkillers and a great deal of tolerance.  I was going to kill the two children and hide them in the baggage compartment, but they were not worth the effort.  Leaving them alive was the best form of revenge on the parents.

Florence airports seemed very little different to than at JFK, other than the fact that the writing was in Italian and people tended to speak Italian.  They might have looked a little different, but I wasn’t paying attention.

I was heading to immigration to collect my one bag.  Travelling light was instilled into us.  Carry nothing you couldn’t afford to lose.  To me, all that mattered was a passport and a credit card.  Oh, and money.

I followed the adventuress, oddly in a hurry to get off the plane, turn her phone on and make a half dozen calls, each getting more frustration-laden till the last when I thought she was going to throw the cell phone at the wall.

Or the man who suddenly changed direction in front of her and caused her to stumble to avoid him.  The language was very unladylike.  The man just sailed on regardless.

She just happened to block my way, so I just stood there.  I thought about offering to help, but I got the impression she would not accept it. I would be one of ‘those’ men.

I still had no idea what ‘those’ meant.

She saw me.  “You again.”

Again what?  “You seem to be in a particularly bad mood.  I would have thought that impossible in this place.”

She frowned.  “You seem happy.”

“Just happy to be here.  See a few ancient statues, and go to the museum.  Steep myself in the aura of history.  Get some pizza and gelato.”

“You’re too old to be acting like a giddy tourist.”

She was right, but that was how I felt.  Or how I wanted to feel.

“Life’s too short to be perpetually in a hurry.”

I thought I’d stepped over that invisible line, as red spots appeared on her cheeks, but then she took a deep breath and slowly let it out

“You’re right.  The more haste, the less speed.  Tell me about the statues.”

I almost did a double-take.  Almost.

She fell in beside me, and we strolled to immigration.

Whilst I had no intention of spending more time with Deborah Travisore, adventuress and adventure travel influencer, beyond the walk to the immigration queue, she found me, standing back, waiting for the bags.

First class should be first off?  Right?  No.  Not today.  Or just not me.  She had collected four suitcases and several smaller bags, another person who didn’t understand the meaning of travelling light.

I made the mistake of asking if she had brought a menagerie with her. 

And had she not accepted it, had an eccentric sense of humour, my limousine ride from the airport to the hotel would have been less interesting.

If I were still in my former trade, firstly, I would have suspected her to be a foreign actor up to no good, and secondly, if it were and they wanted me dead, I would be.

Except it was patently clear she was who she said she was.  Exile alone and waiting for my bad, I looked up her website’s social media pages and the messy, broken relationships that she seemed to revel in.

Who else would you entrust their disastrous life to cultivate likes, followers, and social media traction?  What scared me was when, not if, I ended up on her website pages as Mr Eccentric, broken man. Astonishingly, she had over a quarter of a million followers.

It was my second foray into the world of social media as a man in the street.  I had no pages, nothing on Facebook or Instagram, or anything.  I just created an email address the day before I got on the plane

The ride to the hotel scored me the result of six phone calls from exiting the plane to where she stumbled.

The man who had asked her to come, and made arrangements for her to run adventure tours and lectures, and who had made arrangements for her hotel stay, had been declared insolvent and arrested.

She had nothing to do and nowhere to go.  I said I would take her as far as my hotel.  What she did after that was her business.

Until I learned that the plane ticket had been paid for, the return ticket had been rescinded, and she didn’t have any more money.

Lesson learned?  Lots of followers meant not a lot of money.

At the hotel, I was met by the Assistant Manager and shown to my room.  I was hoping it would be the last time I saw Deborah.

Until…

My room phone rang.

Intrigued, I answered it.  “Yes?”

“Miss Travencore is insisting that you will verify she is who she says she is.”  It was the Assistant Manager in a rather tricky bind.

“Does that mean I have to pay her account if she cannot?”

“It means you have a connecting set of rooms, and you can hide her in one.  Not that I’m suggesting you do such a thing.  If not, we will escort her to the sidewalk.”

If she were a spy, which I was beginning to think was the case, because her landing on my lap like this was page one of the student playbook.

It was a case of keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer.

“Tell her it will be until she sorts herself out.”

So here was the problem.  Firstly, she was being far too obvious.  Secondly, she had a lot of work put into her cover story.  Thirdly, this type of decoy was usually a stunning-looking woman.  Deborah was attractive in a different way.

Perhaps she had a more interesting side that would emerge later.

Fourthly, and perhaps the one that would be my downfall, I was intrigued that anyone would care about an ex-spy.  I had no codes, no access, and no information or access to it. I had the internet, the same as everyone else.

I was here to look at antiquities, not duel with adversaries that were no longer adversaries.

I took a bottle of Italian beer out of the bar fridge and took a few sips while looking down on a main thoroughfare that led to the Duomo.  I was hoping to visit the church before the day was out.

I heard the door close next door.  Deborah was in residence.  It would cost me nothing for her to stay there; it was part of the package.

Satisfied that the aromas wafting up and in through my windows were exactly as I remembered them, I sat down to contemplate the afternoon.

Fifteen minutes.  I had a mental bet with myself that it would take ten.

A light rapping on the door.

I wasn’t going to open it, then after a sigh, I did.

“Deborah.”

“Call me Debbie.”

“Miss Travencore.”

“That sounds very formal.”

“So there are no misunderstandings.”

“There are no misunderstandings.”

“It will be interesting to see how quickly the complications add up.”

“I am not here to cause trouble, just to thank you for your generosity.”

“Consider me thanked.”  I went to close the door.

“Before you make a decision you might regret…”

I didn’t think any of the decisions I was considering I would regret, other than the one that submits her to a crude and painful field interrogation.

“Who are you, really, Miss Travencore?”

“Who I say I am.  I travel the world finding adventures for my devoted fans.  And, every now and then dabble in a hobby of mine.  This is certainly not one of those tasks.  I swear my uncle Walter puts far too much faith in me.”

“Uncle … Walter?”  An awful thought occurred to me.  My old boss had sent a minder.

“This Uncle Walter…”

“Calls you insufferable, Sykes.  He calls me incorrigible Debbie.  I told him I didn’t do babysitting.  And you wouldn’t want it.  Do you?”

“He refused to get you a room?”

“He said he was already paying for half the hotel.  You know what he’s like.  Three-star, ‘can-not-swing-a-cat’ rooms and overboiled eggs for breakfast.  I heard the crispy bacon is fantastic here.”

I shook my head.  I could have a long conversation with Walter, but it wouldn’t change a thing.  He’d mentioned his Lara Croft nice more than once, and the fact that she always seemed to make a mess of everything she touched, but somehow worked out.

Now she was here.

What was he thinking?

“I assume this is for how long?”

“Three weeks or you kill me, which he said you might do when you figure it out.  I saved you the trouble.  Kill me now.”

I looked her up and down.  Over the years, he had told me a lot about her, and I think I came to know her almost as well as he did.

“I’ve got a better idea.  Let’s go look at some statues and try the gelato.  You’ll love it.  And dress like a tourist, not like you’re about to swing from the trees.”

She smiled.  “If you try not to look like something you’re not, old and broken.”

©  Charles Heath  2026

Searching for locations: Hutongs, Beijing, China

What are Hutongs?

In Beijing Hutongs are formed by lines of traditional courtyard residences, called siheyuan.  Neighborhoods were formed by joining many hutongs together. These siheyuan are the traditional residences, usually occupied by a single or extended family, signifying wealth, and prosperity. 

Over 500 of these still exist.Many of these hutongs have been demolished, but recently they have become protected places as a means of preserving some Chinese cultural history.  They were first established in the Yuan Dynasty (1279-1368)Many of these Hutongs had their main buildings and gates built facing south, and lanes connecting them to other hutongs also ran north to south.

Many hutongs, some several hundred years old, in the vicinity of the Bell Tower and Drum Tower and Shichahai Lake are preserved and abound with tourists, many of which tour the quarter in pedicabs.

The optional tour also includes a visit to Shichahai, a historic scenic area consisting of three lakes (Qianhai, meaning Front Sea; Houhai, meaning Back Sea and Xihai, meaning West Sea), surrounding places of historic interest and scenic beauty and remnants of old-style local residences, Hutong and Courtyard.  

First, we had a short walk through the more modern part of the Hutong area and given some free time for shopping, but we prefer just to meander by the canal.  

There is a lake, and if we had the time, there were boats you could take.

With some time to spare, we take a quick walk down one of the alleyways where on the ground level are small shops, and above, living quarters.

Then we go to the bell and drum towers before walking through some more alleys was to where the rickshaws were waiting.
The Bell tower

And the Drum tower. Both still working today.

The rickshaw ride took us through some more back streets where it was clear renovations were being made so that the area could apply for world heritage listing.  Seeing inside some of the houses shows that they may look dumpy outside but that’s not the case inside.

The rickshaw ride ends outside the house where dinner will be served, and is a not so typical hose but does have all the elements of how the Chinese live, the boy’s room, the girl’s room, the parent’s room, the living area, and the North-south feng shui.

Shortly after we arrive, the cricket man, apparently someone quite famous in Beijing arrives and tells us all about crickets and then grasshoppers, then about cricket racing.  He is animated and clearly enjoys entertaining us westerners.

I’m sorry but the cricket stuff just didn’t interest me.  Or the grasshoppers.

As for dinner, it was finally a treat to eat what the typical Chinese family eats, and everything was delicious, and the endless beer was a nice touch.

And the last surprise, the food was cooked by a man.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 118

Day 118 – Writing Exercise

With a job that took me all over the world, at times to some of the most scenic and visitor-friendly places to go, I never had the time to stop and smell the roses.

Ever.

There was never enough time.

Until…

I had to retire, forced because of injuries I had received in the line of duty.  It rendered me unfit to resume my chosen profession

Being told had been like the sky had fallen in on me.  The doctor, a relatively cheerful fellow, spoke the words in a matter-of-fact tone.

I doubt he realised the weight of those words on the recipient.  For him, it was another day in the office.  For me, it was the end of my world as I knew it.

Most of it was gobbledegook, until the end, the part that mattered.  The sentence…

“Movement will be difficult, and for a while, very tiring.  It will improve, but that will depend on your pain threshold.  No sudden movements, and plan your trips, short or long.  No stairs, avoid steep uphill and downhill paths, no running or jogging.  Maintain your exercise routine.  I think, at the very least, you are very lucky to be alive, and extremely lucky you have the mobility you have.”

My former boss, Roundtree, had a more profound way of looking at it.  “In other words, now you can get around to doing all those things you couldn’t before.”

“Skydiving, and downhill slalom?”

His bright expression turned into a frown, like the sun going behind a cloud.  “Don’t be obtuse, Sykes.  You know what I mean.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Not your revered leader any more, Sykes.  You are the master of your destiny.  Have you told Wanda where you want to go?”

Wanda was the agency travel arrangements officer.  I had one last trip available.  First-class ticket to anywhere, and a fortnight in the best hotel.

“Florence.”

“Nice place.  I trust your Italian is up to scratch?”

“Yes, sir.”

A frown, but then, I was never going to call him Walter.  It seemed so disrespectful.

“Well, good.  Well done.  Don’t forget to send postcards.”

“Top of the list, sir.”

“Excellent.”  He came over and shook my hand, then left with the doctor.  I would probably not see him again.

You meet interesting people in first class.  It was almost a first for me.  Usually, I was down the back with the rest of humanity.  The department’s attitude was all about anonymity.

I thought it was because the boss was cheap.

But, halfway into the flight from New York to Florence, I’d decided the only reason I’d travel first class was the comfort, and it paid off. 

It was not about the chef-inspired food delivered on monogrammed fine bone china, or the champagne and orange juice when I boarded.  It wasn’t even about that special pack each passenger received on first boarding.

It was just an expensive way to fly.

And see how the other half lived.  Which, by the way, was far more exciting than I usually did, though at times I got to pretend I had more wealth than an Arab Sheik.

There were not many, and they didn’t talk to each other.  There was a family, the mother and father were reasonable, and the two children were brats.  Two CEOs spent the time trying to prove one was better than the other, me, a pretender, a middle-aged woman who was a magazine editor, telling everyone she was on a freebie, a youngish woman who looked like an adventurer, with the whole Indiana Jones thing going on, and two men I suspected were Arab terrorists, or more likely drug cartel leaders.  Flashy but cheap.  I’d met their type before.

The Indiana Jones girl spoke to me before I said anything.  She was nearby and didn’t look the sort to indulge in sharing anything on a plane with strangers.  Neither was I.  It was surprisingly just how many did.

She was coming back from the restroom and simply stopped.  “First time?”

I looked up, surprised.  “Here, going to Italy, being a big boy and travelling alone…”

She smiled.  “Sharper than an Inca death dart.  Pick one.”  She leaned against the wall as the plane shuddered through some turbulence.

“Not the first time here.  Not Italy.  Always working, never got time to see the sights.  Retired, can now.  You?”

“Blogger.  Influencer.  To most, a wanker.  I try the experience for the more adventurous of us out there.”

“Ever crash and burn?”

“Frequently.  Just getting over another failed relationship.  I keep making the same mistake.”

She didn’t look to me to be the sort who made any mistakes. But thanks for sharing, but I don’t care.

“Married men?”

It was meant to be a light-hearted comment.  It went down with a lead balloon.  “You married?”

I think it came out more harshly than she intended.

“No.  No woman will have me.  Broken “

A glare, or a grim smile, she figured I was an obtuse old bastard, and it was time to move on.  A nod, and she went back to her seat.

It was a reminder that you can have everything and nothing.  Someone had told me that a while back, and it stuck

I got through the flight with painkillers and a great deal of tolerance.  I was going to kill the two children and hide them in the baggage compartment, but they were not worth the effort.  Leaving them alive was the best form of revenge on the parents.

Florence airports seemed very little different to than at JFK, other than the fact that the writing was in Italian and people tended to speak Italian.  They might have looked a little different, but I wasn’t paying attention.

I was heading to immigration to collect my one bag.  Travelling light was instilled into us.  Carry nothing you couldn’t afford to lose.  To me, all that mattered was a passport and a credit card.  Oh, and money.

I followed the adventuress, oddly in a hurry to get off the plane, turn her phone on and make a half dozen calls, each getting more frustration-laden till the last when I thought she was going to throw the cell phone at the wall.

Or the man who suddenly changed direction in front of her and caused her to stumble to avoid him.  The language was very unladylike.  The man just sailed on regardless.

She just happened to block my way, so I just stood there.  I thought about offering to help, but I got the impression she would not accept it. I would be one of ‘those’ men.

I still had no idea what ‘those’ meant.

She saw me.  “You again.”

Again what?  “You seem to be in a particularly bad mood.  I would have thought that impossible in this place.”

She frowned.  “You seem happy.”

“Just happy to be here.  See a few ancient statues, and go to the museum.  Steep myself in the aura of history.  Get some pizza and gelato.”

“You’re too old to be acting like a giddy tourist.”

She was right, but that was how I felt.  Or how I wanted to feel.

“Life’s too short to be perpetually in a hurry.”

I thought I’d stepped over that invisible line, as red spots appeared on her cheeks, but then she took a deep breath and slowly let it out

“You’re right.  The more haste, the less speed.  Tell me about the statues.”

I almost did a double-take.  Almost.

She fell in beside me, and we strolled to immigration.

Whilst I had no intention of spending more time with Deborah Travisore, adventuress and adventure travel influencer, beyond the walk to the immigration queue, she found me, standing back, waiting for the bags.

First class should be first off?  Right?  No.  Not today.  Or just not me.  She had collected four suitcases and several smaller bags, another person who didn’t understand the meaning of travelling light.

I made the mistake of asking if she had brought a menagerie with her. 

And had she not accepted it, had an eccentric sense of humour, my limousine ride from the airport to the hotel would have been less interesting.

If I were still in my former trade, firstly, I would have suspected her to be a foreign actor up to no good, and secondly, if it were and they wanted me dead, I would be.

Except it was patently clear she was who she said she was.  Exile alone and waiting for my bad, I looked up her website’s social media pages and the messy, broken relationships that she seemed to revel in.

Who else would you entrust their disastrous life to cultivate likes, followers, and social media traction?  What scared me was when, not if, I ended up on her website pages as Mr Eccentric, broken man. Astonishingly, she had over a quarter of a million followers.

It was my second foray into the world of social media as a man in the street.  I had no pages, nothing on Facebook or Instagram, or anything.  I just created an email address the day before I got on the plane

The ride to the hotel scored me the result of six phone calls from exiting the plane to where she stumbled.

The man who had asked her to come, and made arrangements for her to run adventure tours and lectures, and who had made arrangements for her hotel stay, had been declared insolvent and arrested.

She had nothing to do and nowhere to go.  I said I would take her as far as my hotel.  What she did after that was her business.

Until I learned that the plane ticket had been paid for, the return ticket had been rescinded, and she didn’t have any more money.

Lesson learned?  Lots of followers meant not a lot of money.

At the hotel, I was met by the Assistant Manager and shown to my room.  I was hoping it would be the last time I saw Deborah.

Until…

My room phone rang.

Intrigued, I answered it.  “Yes?”

“Miss Travencore is insisting that you will verify she is who she says she is.”  It was the Assistant Manager in a rather tricky bind.

“Does that mean I have to pay her account if she cannot?”

“It means you have a connecting set of rooms, and you can hide her in one.  Not that I’m suggesting you do such a thing.  If not, we will escort her to the sidewalk.”

If she were a spy, which I was beginning to think was the case, because her landing on my lap like this was page one of the student playbook.

It was a case of keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer.

“Tell her it will be until she sorts herself out.”

So here was the problem.  Firstly, she was being far too obvious.  Secondly, she had a lot of work put into her cover story.  Thirdly, this type of decoy was usually a stunning-looking woman.  Deborah was attractive in a different way.

Perhaps she had a more interesting side that would emerge later.

Fourthly, and perhaps the one that would be my downfall, I was intrigued that anyone would care about an ex-spy.  I had no codes, no access, and no information or access to it. I had the internet, the same as everyone else.

I was here to look at antiquities, not duel with adversaries that were no longer adversaries.

I took a bottle of Italian beer out of the bar fridge and took a few sips while looking down on a main thoroughfare that led to the Duomo.  I was hoping to visit the church before the day was out.

I heard the door close next door.  Deborah was in residence.  It would cost me nothing for her to stay there; it was part of the package.

Satisfied that the aromas wafting up and in through my windows were exactly as I remembered them, I sat down to contemplate the afternoon.

Fifteen minutes.  I had a mental bet with myself that it would take ten.

A light rapping on the door.

I wasn’t going to open it, then after a sigh, I did.

“Deborah.”

“Call me Debbie.”

“Miss Travencore.”

“That sounds very formal.”

“So there are no misunderstandings.”

“There are no misunderstandings.”

“It will be interesting to see how quickly the complications add up.”

“I am not here to cause trouble, just to thank you for your generosity.”

“Consider me thanked.”  I went to close the door.

“Before you make a decision you might regret…”

I didn’t think any of the decisions I was considering I would regret, other than the one that submits her to a crude and painful field interrogation.

“Who are you, really, Miss Travencore?”

“Who I say I am.  I travel the world finding adventures for my devoted fans.  And, every now and then dabble in a hobby of mine.  This is certainly not one of those tasks.  I swear my uncle Walter puts far too much faith in me.”

“Uncle … Walter?”  An awful thought occurred to me.  My old boss had sent a minder.

“This Uncle Walter…”

“Calls you insufferable, Sykes.  He calls me incorrigible Debbie.  I told him I didn’t do babysitting.  And you wouldn’t want it.  Do you?”

“He refused to get you a room?”

“He said he was already paying for half the hotel.  You know what he’s like.  Three-star, ‘can-not-swing-a-cat’ rooms and overboiled eggs for breakfast.  I heard the crispy bacon is fantastic here.”

I shook my head.  I could have a long conversation with Walter, but it wouldn’t change a thing.  He’d mentioned his Lara Croft nice more than once, and the fact that she always seemed to make a mess of everything she touched, but somehow worked out.

Now she was here.

What was he thinking?

“I assume this is for how long?”

“Three weeks or you kill me, which he said you might do when you figure it out.  I saved you the trouble.  Kill me now.”

I looked her up and down.  Over the years, he had told me a lot about her, and I think I came to know her almost as well as he did.

“I’ve got a better idea.  Let’s go look at some statues and try the gelato.  You’ll love it.  And dress like a tourist, not like you’re about to swing from the trees.”

She smiled.  “If you try not to look like something you’re not, old and broken.”

©  Charles Heath  2026

Another excerpt from “Strangers We’ve Become” – A sequel to ‘What Sets Us Apart’

It was the first time in almost a week that I made the short walk to the cafe alone.  It was early, and the chill of the morning was still in the air.  In summer, it was the best time of the day.  When Susan came with me, it was usually much later, when the day was much warmer and less tolerable.

On the morning of the third day of her visit, Susan said she was missing the hustle and bustle of London, and by the end of the fourth she said, in not so many words, she was over being away from ‘civilisation’.  This was a side of her I had not seen before, and it surprised me.

She hadn’t complained, but it was making her irritable.  The Susan that morning was vastly different to the Susan on the first day.  So much, I thought, for her wanting to ‘reconnect’, the word she had used as the reason for coming to Greve unannounced.

It was also the first morning I had time to reflect on her visit and what my feelings were towards her.  It was the reason I’d come to Greve: to soak up the peace and quiet and think about what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

I sat in my usual corner.  Maria, one of two waitresses, came out, stopped, and there was no mistaking the relief in her manner.  There was an air of tension between Susan and Maria I didn’t understand, and it seemed to emanate from Susan rather than the other way around.  I could understand her attitude if it was towards Alisha, but not Maria.  All she did was serve coffee and cake.

When Maria recovered from the momentary surprise, she said, smiling, “You are by yourself?”  She gave a quick glance in the direction of my villa, just to be sure.

“I am this morning.  I’m afraid the heat, for one who is not used to it, can be quite debilitating.  I’m also afraid it has had a bad effect on her manners, for which I apologise.  I cannot explain why she has been so rude to you.”

“You do not have to apologise for her, David, but it is of no consequence to me.  I have had a lot worse.  I think she is simply jealous.”

It had crossed my mind, but there was no reason for her to be.  “Why?”

“She is a woman, I am a woman, she thinks because you and I are friends, there is something between us.”

It made sense, even if it was not true.  “Perhaps if I explained…”

Maria shook her head.  “If there is a hole in the boat, you should not keep bailing but try to plug the hole.  My grandfather had many expressions, David.  If I may give you one piece of advice, as much as it is none of my business, you need to make your feelings known, and if they are not as they once were, and I think they are not, you need to tell her.  Before she goes home.”

Interesting advice.  Not only a purveyor of excellent coffee, but Maria was also a psychiatrist who had astutely worked out my dilemma.  What was that expression, ‘not just a pretty face’?

“Is she leaving soon?” I asked, thinking Maria knew more about Susan’s movements than I did.

“You would disappoint me if you had not suspected as much.  Susan was having coffee and talking to someone in her office on a cell phone.  It was an intense conversation.  I should not eavesdrop, but she said being here was like being stuck in hell.  It is a pity she does not share your love for our little piece of paradise, is it not?”

“It is indeed.  And you’re right.  She said she didn’t have a phone, but I know she has one.  She just doesn’t value the idea of getting away from the office.  Perhaps her role doesn’t afford her that luxury.”

And perhaps Alisha was right about Maria, that I should be more careful.  She had liked Maria the moment she saw her.  We had sat at this very table, the first day I arrived.  I would have travelled alone, but Prendergast, my old boss, liked to know where ex-employees of the Department were, and what they were doing.

She sighed.  “I am glad I am just a waitress.  Your usual coffee and cake?”

“Yes, please.”

Several months had passed since we had rescued Susan from her despotic father; she had recovered faster than we had thought, and settled into her role as the new Lady Featherington, though she preferred not to use that title, but go by the name of Lady Susan Cheney.

I didn’t get to be a Lord, or have any title, not that I was expecting one.  What I had expected was that Susan, once she found her footing as head of what seemed to be a commercial empire, would not have time for details like husbands, particularly when our agreement made before the wedding gave either of us the right to end it.

There was a moment when I visited her recovering in the hospital, where I was going to give her the out, but I didn’t, and she had not invoked it.  We were still married, just not living together.

This visit was one where she wanted to ‘reconnect’ as she called it, and invite me to come home with her.  She saw no reason why we could not resume our relationship, conveniently forgetting she indirectly had me arrested for her murder, charges both her mother and Lucy vigorously pursued, and had the clone not returned to save me, I might still be in jail.

It was not something I would forgive or forget any time soon.

There were other reasons why I was reluctant to stay with her, like forgetting small details, an irregularity in her character I found odd.  She looked the same, she sounded the same, she basically acted the same, but my mind was telling me something was not right.  It was not the Susan I first met, even allowing for the ordeal she had been subjected to.

But, despite those misgivings, there was no question in my mind that I still loved her, and her clandestine arrival had brought back all those feelings.  But as the days passed, I began to get the impression my feelings were one-sided and she was just going through the motions.

Which brought me to the last argument, earlier, where I said if I went with her, it would be business meetings, social obligations, and quite simply her ‘celebrity’ status that would keep us apart.  I reminded her that I had said from the outset I didn’t like the idea of being in the spotlight, and when I reiterated it, she simply brushed it off as just part of the job, adding rather strangely that I always looked good in a suit.  The flippancy of that comment was the last straw, and I left before I said something I would regret.

I knew I was not a priority.  Maybe somewhere inside me, I had wanted to be a priority, and I was disappointed when I was not.

And finally, there was Alisha.  Susan, at the height of the argument, had intimated she believed I had an affair with her, but that elephant was always in the room whenever Alisha was around.  It was no surprise when I learned Susan had asked Prendergast to reassign her to other duties. 

At least I knew what my feelings for Alisha were, and there were times when I had to remember she was persona non grata.  Perhaps that was why Susan had her banished, but, again, a small detail; jealousy was not one of Susan’s traits when I first knew her.

Perhaps it was time to set Susan free.

When I swung around to look in the direction of the lane where my villa was, I saw Susan.  She was formally dressed, not in her ‘tourist’ clothes, which she had bought from one of the local clothing stores.  We had fun that day, shopping for clothes, a chore I’d always hated.  It had been followed by a leisurely lunch, lots of wine and soul searching.

It was the reason why I sat in this corner; old habits die hard.  I could see trouble coming from all directions, not that Susan was trouble or at least I hoped not, but it allowed me the time to watch her walking towards the cafe in what appeared to be short, angry steps; perhaps the culmination of the heat wave and our last argument.

She glared at me as she sat, dropping her bag beside her on the ground, where I could see the cell phone sitting on top.  She followed my glance down, and then she looked unrepentant back at me.

Maria came back at the exact moment she was going to speak.  I noticed Maria hesitate for a second when she saw Susan, then put her smile in place to deliver my coffee.

Neither spoke nor looked at each other.  I said, “Susan will have what I’m having, thanks.”

Maria nodded and left.

“Now,” I said, leaning back in my seat, “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation as to why you didn’t tell me about the phone, but that first time you disappeared, I’d guessed you needed to keep in touch with your business interests.  I thought it somewhat unwisethat you should come out when the board of one of your companies was trying to remove you, because of what was it, an unexplained absence?  All you had to do was tell me there were problems and you needed to remain at home to resolve them.”

My comment elicited a sideways look, with a touch of surprise.

“It was unfortunate timing on their behalf, and I didn’t want you to think everything else was more important than us.  There were issues before I came, and I thought the people at home would be able to manage without me for at least a week, but I was wrong.”

“Why come at all.  A phone call would have sufficed.”

“I had to see you, talk to you.  At least we have had a chance to do that.  I’m sorry about yesterday.  I once told you I would not become my mother, but I’m afraid I sounded just like her.  I misjudged just how much this role would affect me, and truly, I’m sorry.”

An apology was the last thing I expected.

“You have a lot of work to do catching up after being away, and of course, in replacing your mother and gaining the requisite respect as the new Lady Featherington.  I think it would be for the best if I were not another distraction.  We have plenty of time to reacquaint ourselves when you get past all these teething issues.”

“You’re not coming with me?”  She sounded disappointed.

“I think it would be for the best if I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“It should come as no surprise to you that I’ve been keeping an eye on your progress.  You are so much better doing your job without me.  I told your mother once that when the time came I would not like the responsibilities of being your husband.  Now that I have seen what it could possibly entail, I like it even less.  You might also want to reconsider our arrangement, after all, we only had a marriage of convenience, and now that those obligations have been fulfilled, we both have the option of terminating it.  I won’t make things difficult for you if that’s what you want.”

It was yet another anomaly, I thought; she should look distressed, and I would raise the matter of that arrangement.  Perhaps she had forgotten the finer points.  I, on the other hand, had always known we would not last forever.  The perplexed expression, to me, was a sign she might have forgotten.

Then, her expression changed.  “Is that what you want?”

“I wasn’t madly in love with you when we made that arrangement, so it was easy to agree to your terms, but inexplicably, since then, my feelings for you changed, and I would be sad if we parted ways.  But the truth is, I can’t see how this is going to work.”

“In saying that, do you think I don’t care for you?”

That was exactly what I was thinking, but I wasn’t going to voice that opinion out loud.  “You spent a lot of time finding new ways to make my life miserable, Susan.  You and that wretched friend of yours, Lucy.  While your attitude improved after we were married, that was because you were going to use me when you went to see your father, and then almost let me go to prison for your murder.”

“I had nothing to do with that, other than to leave, and I didn’t agree with Lucy that you should be made responsible for my disappearance.  I cannot be held responsible for the actions of my mother.  She hated you; Lucy didn’t understand you, and Millie told me I was stupid for not loving you in return, and she was right.  Why do you think I gave you such a hard time?  You made it impossible not to fall in love with you, and it nearly changed my mind about everything I’d been planning so meticulously.  But perhaps there was a more subliminal reason why I did because after I left, I wanted to believe, if anything went wrong, you would come and find me.”

“How could you possibly know that I’d even consider doing something like that, given what you knew about me?”

“Prendergast made a passing comment when my mother asked him about you; he told us you were very good at finding people and even better at fixing problems.”

“And yet here we are, one argument away from ending it.”

I could see Maria hovering, waiting for the right moment to deliver her coffee, then go back and find Gianna, the café owner, instead.  Gianna was more abrupt and, for that reason, was rarely seen serving the customers.  Today, she was particularly cantankerous, banging the cake dish on the table and frowning at Susan before returning to her kitchen.  Gianna didn’t like Susan either.

Behind me, I heard a car stop, and when she looked up, I knew it was for her.  She had arrived with nothing, and she was leaving with nothing.

She stood.  “Last chance.”

“Forever?”

She hesitated and then shook away the look of annoyance on her face.  “Of course not.  I wanted you to come back with me so we could continue working on our relationship.  I agree there are problems, but it’s nothing we can’t resolve if we try.”

I had been trying.  “It’s too soon for both of us, Susan.  I need to be able to trust you, and given the circumstances, and all that water under the bridge, I’m not sure if I can yet.”

She frowned at me.  “As you wish.”  She took an envelope out of her bag and put it on the table.  “When you are ready, it’s an open ticket home.  Please make it sooner rather than later.  Despite what you think of me, I have missed you, and I have no intention of ending it between us.”

That said, she glared at me for a minute, shook her head, then walked to the car.  I watched her get in and the car drive slowly away.

No kiss, no touch, no looking back. 

© Charles Heath 2018-2025

strangerscover9

What I learned about writing – Journalism is a great learning ground for writers

It comes as no surprise that many writers, when they are asked about how they got into writing, say they were once journalists.

This is because journalism is a great background. You learn to get to the crux of any story in one paragraph, asking five basic questions: who, what, where, when, and why.

In the commission of any story, sooner or later, you ask the question: at what point does a writer become a journalist?

Quite often, journalists become writers because of their vast experience in observing and writing about the news, sometimes in the category of ‘truth is stranger than fiction’.

I did journalism at university and thought I would never get to use it.  I had to interview people, write articles, and act as an editor.  The hardest part was the headlines. Thank God that’s usually a problem for the editor. It’s about as much fun as coming up with a title for the book.

But, for example…

Several opportunities arose over the last few months to dig out the journalist hat, put it on, and go to work.

Where?

Hospital.  I’ve had to go there a few times more in the last few months than I have in recent years.

And I’d forgotten just how interesting hospitals are, especially the waiting room in the Emergency department.

After the second or third visit, I began observing the people who were waiting and ran through various scenarios as to the reason for their visit.  None may have been true, but it certainly was an exercise in creative writing, or would make an excellent article.

Similarly, once we got inside the inner sanctum where the real work is done, there were any number of crises and operations going on, and plenty of material for when I might need to include a hospital scene in one of my stories.

Or I could write a volume in praise of the people who work there and what they have to endure.  Tending the sick, injured and badly injured is not a job for the faint-hearted.

Research, which is one of the most important tools a journalist uses, if it could be called a ‘tool’, turns up in the unlikeliest of places.  Doctors who answer questions, not necessarily about the malady, nurses who tell you about what it’s like in Emergency on nights you really don’t want to be there, and other patients and their families, all having a perspective and a story to tell, while waiting patiently for a diagnosis and then treatment so they can go home.

We get to go this time at about four in the morning.  Everyone is tired.  More people are waiting.  Outside, it is cool, and the first rays of light are coming over the horizon as dawn is about to break.

I ponder the question without an answer, a question one of the nurses asked a youngish doctor, tossed out in conversation, but was there more intent to it, what he was doing on Saturday night?

He didn’t answer.  Another crisis, another patient.

I suspect he was about to say, where else would he be, but on duty in the Emergency.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 117

Day 117 – Is writing fiction an escape from reality

The Plunge: Why Fiction Isn’t an Escape—It’s a Collision with Reality

When people think of fiction, they often think of “escapism.” They imagine the reader curled up in a leather chair, clutching a paperback like a life raft, waiting to be spirited away to a land of dragons, interstellar empires, or swooning Victorian romances. The common assumption is that we read—and write—to get away from the messiness of our actual lives.

But the Southern Gothic master Flannery O’Connor had a vastly different, more jarring perspective. She famously suggested that writing (and reading) fiction is not a retreat into fantasy, but a “plunge into reality.” For O’Connor, fiction is not a sedative; it is a shock to the system.

But what did she mean by that? And why would a medium built on “made-up” stories be more real than the world we walk through every day?

The Myth of the Ivory Tower

We often treat reality as a surface-level phenomenon: the bills we pay, the traffic we sit in, and the small talk at the office. We mistake the mundane for the “real.”

O’Connor believed that our day-to-day lives are often shielded by habit, social propriety, and a deep-seated desire to look away from the darker, more profound truths of human existence. We live in a state of semi-consciousness, buffered by the comforts of our routines.

When you sit down to write serious fiction, you cannot stay on that surface level. To create a character that rings true, you have to strip away the pleasantries. You have to descend into the motivations, the flaws, the spiritual hungers, and the terrifying contradictions that define human nature.

Fiction as a “Shock to the System”

O’Connor’s stories—filled with grotesque characters, sudden violence, and moments of divine mystery—are famous for their lack of comfort. She didn’t write to soothe the reader; she wrote to wake them up.

When she talked about fiction being a “plunge into reality,” she was describing a process of confrontation. A well-crafted story forces the reader to look at things they’d rather ignore: the cruelty we are capable of, the absurdity of our own self-importance, and the jagged edges of truth.

If you are writing fiction, you aren’t hiding from reality; you are excavating it. You are taking the raw, incoherent chaos of the human experience and tightening it into a narrative lens. By the time the reader closes the book, if the work is good, they shouldn’t feel “escaped.” They should feel exposed. They should feel as though they’ve just been shaken awake.

The Mirror of the Grotesque

O’Connor famously said, “To the hard of hearing you shout, and for the almost-blind you draw large and startling figures.”

This is why her work is so often shocking. She used the “grotesque” not to be weird for the sake of it, but to force the reader to focus on reality. Because we have become so desensitised to the “normal” world, we need something startling—something slightly distorted—to help us see clearly again.

When we write fiction, we are essentially holding a mirror up to the world. But we don’t hold it up to show the world its own reflection in the mirror; we hold it up to show the world the things it refuses to see when it looks in the mirror of daily life.

Why It Matters

If we view writing only as an escape, we limit the power of the craft. We treat it as a toy rather than a tool.

When you approach the blank page, don’t ask yourself, “How can I make this world different from mine?” Instead, ask, “How can I capture the reality of this world more accurately?” How can I convey the heaviness of a choice, the shame of a secret, or the terror of an epiphany?

Writing isn’t about running away from the world. It is the brave act of diving headlong into the fray. It is the act of looking at the human condition—with all its blood, bone, and light—and refusing to blink.

As O’Connor knew, the truth is often a shock. But it is only through that shock that we ever truly find our way home.

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 117

Day 117 – Is writing fiction an escape from reality

The Plunge: Why Fiction Isn’t an Escape—It’s a Collision with Reality

When people think of fiction, they often think of “escapism.” They imagine the reader curled up in a leather chair, clutching a paperback like a life raft, waiting to be spirited away to a land of dragons, interstellar empires, or swooning Victorian romances. The common assumption is that we read—and write—to get away from the messiness of our actual lives.

But the Southern Gothic master Flannery O’Connor had a vastly different, more jarring perspective. She famously suggested that writing (and reading) fiction is not a retreat into fantasy, but a “plunge into reality.” For O’Connor, fiction is not a sedative; it is a shock to the system.

But what did she mean by that? And why would a medium built on “made-up” stories be more real than the world we walk through every day?

The Myth of the Ivory Tower

We often treat reality as a surface-level phenomenon: the bills we pay, the traffic we sit in, and the small talk at the office. We mistake the mundane for the “real.”

O’Connor believed that our day-to-day lives are often shielded by habit, social propriety, and a deep-seated desire to look away from the darker, more profound truths of human existence. We live in a state of semi-consciousness, buffered by the comforts of our routines.

When you sit down to write serious fiction, you cannot stay on that surface level. To create a character that rings true, you have to strip away the pleasantries. You have to descend into the motivations, the flaws, the spiritual hungers, and the terrifying contradictions that define human nature.

Fiction as a “Shock to the System”

O’Connor’s stories—filled with grotesque characters, sudden violence, and moments of divine mystery—are famous for their lack of comfort. She didn’t write to soothe the reader; she wrote to wake them up.

When she talked about fiction being a “plunge into reality,” she was describing a process of confrontation. A well-crafted story forces the reader to look at things they’d rather ignore: the cruelty we are capable of, the absurdity of our own self-importance, and the jagged edges of truth.

If you are writing fiction, you aren’t hiding from reality; you are excavating it. You are taking the raw, incoherent chaos of the human experience and tightening it into a narrative lens. By the time the reader closes the book, if the work is good, they shouldn’t feel “escaped.” They should feel exposed. They should feel as though they’ve just been shaken awake.

The Mirror of the Grotesque

O’Connor famously said, “To the hard of hearing you shout, and for the almost-blind you draw large and startling figures.”

This is why her work is so often shocking. She used the “grotesque” not to be weird for the sake of it, but to force the reader to focus on reality. Because we have become so desensitised to the “normal” world, we need something startling—something slightly distorted—to help us see clearly again.

When we write fiction, we are essentially holding a mirror up to the world. But we don’t hold it up to show the world its own reflection in the mirror; we hold it up to show the world the things it refuses to see when it looks in the mirror of daily life.

Why It Matters

If we view writing only as an escape, we limit the power of the craft. We treat it as a toy rather than a tool.

When you approach the blank page, don’t ask yourself, “How can I make this world different from mine?” Instead, ask, “How can I capture the reality of this world more accurately?” How can I convey the heaviness of a choice, the shame of a secret, or the terror of an epiphany?

Writing isn’t about running away from the world. It is the brave act of diving headlong into the fray. It is the act of looking at the human condition—with all its blood, bone, and light—and refusing to blink.

As O’Connor knew, the truth is often a shock. But it is only through that shock that we ever truly find our way home.

A 2am rant: Is that a light at the end of the tunnel?

It’s a long-standing joke that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an express train coming right at you.

Metaphorically speaking, this is quite often true if you are a pessimist, but since I’ve converted to being an optimist, a bit like changing religions, I believe I’ve seen the ‘light’.  It’s a lot like coming up from the bottom of a deep pool, breaking the surface and taking that first long gulp of air.

Along with that elated feeling that you’re not going to drown.

What’s this got to do with anything, you ask?

Perhaps nothing.

As an allegory, it represents, to me, a time when I finally got over a period of self-doubt, a period where a series of events started to make me question why I wanted to be a writer.

I mean, why put yourself through rejections, sometimes scathing criticism, and then have the people whom you thought were your friends suddenly start questioning your choices after initially wholeheartedly supporting them?

Are we only successful or supportable if we are earning a sufficient wage?  Or better still, a New York Times No. 1 bestselling author?  Or, even better, having sold a million copies?

Is this why so many people don’t give up their day job and then find themselves plying the ‘other’ trade into the dark hours of the night, only to find themselves being criticised for other but no less disparaging reasons?

It seems like a no-win situation, the times when your mettle is tested severely.  But, in the end, it is worth it when the book is finished and published, even if it is only on Amazon.

You can sit back and say with pride, I did that.

That metaphorical light, you may ask.

When somebody buys that first copy!