“The Enemy Within” – a thirty-day revision – Day 9

This book has also been written for some time, like The Document, and the manuscript was also sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

I’ve been thinking about the title.

Was not quite sure how this story was going to go because it is very difficult to think that you would betray your family, your friends, the people you work with, or on a grander scale, your country.

In the case of the latter, it is treason, and that’s a word that hasn’t been bandied around since the end of the second world war.

Until of course, the January 6 insurrection – if that was what it was. There seem to be two schools of thought on that matter.

But that has nothing to do with this story.

There are sayings that came out of Britain, like loose lips sink ships, that spies for the Nazis were everywhere, listening in keyholes. I saw a short film that was shown in the cinemas during the war showing examples of what those fifth columnists were like.

Yes, the enemy within, was also known as the fifth column.

Later there were people gathering documents and military and other secrets to sell to other countries like Russia.

Later still there are people who look like us, who are working for foreign countries, actively pursuing industrial information to copy products and processes.

You would not recognise them, and more than likely you wouldn’t know if they were trying to get you to tell them about certain things, recognising it as only an interest in what you do.

Fortunately, our story is not quite that dramatic, but it does give food for thought!

Enough rumination, it’s time to go back to work.

“The Enemy Within” – a thirty-day revision – Day 9

This book has also been written for some time, like The Document, and the manuscript was also sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

I’ve been thinking about the title.

Was not quite sure how this story was going to go because it is very difficult to think that you would betray your family, your friends, the people you work with, or on a grander scale, your country.

In the case of the latter, it is treason, and that’s a word that hasn’t been bandied around since the end of the second world war.

Until of course, the January 6 insurrection – if that was what it was. There seem to be two schools of thought on that matter.

But that has nothing to do with this story.

There are sayings that came out of Britain, like loose lips sink ships, that spies for the Nazis were everywhere, listening in keyholes. I saw a short film that was shown in the cinemas during the war showing examples of what those fifth columnists were like.

Yes, the enemy within, was also known as the fifth column.

Later there were people gathering documents and military and other secrets to sell to other countries like Russia.

Later still there are people who look like us, who are working for foreign countries, actively pursuing industrial information to copy products and processes.

You would not recognise them, and more than likely you wouldn’t know if they were trying to get you to tell them about certain things, recognising it as only an interest in what you do.

Fortunately, our story is not quite that dramatic, but it does give food for thought!

Enough rumination, it’s time to go back to work.

“The Enemy Within” – a thirty-day revision – Day 8

This book has also been written for some time, like The Document, and the manuscript was also sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

So, we won’t talk about day 8.

Day 8 never happened. I want to believe that I went to bed at the usual time, and slept for 24 hours.

Except I didn’t.

What happened? A new plot twist came out of the new writing, and you guessed it, I had to go back and write some new lines to accommodate it.

Who said writing is fun?

Then, of course, a new idea pops into my head while having the first cup of coffee for the day, and …

Well, you know the rest.

Roll on day 9!

Searching for locations: Gollums Pool, New Zealand

Tawhai Falls is a 13-meter high waterfall located in Tongariro National Park.

It is located about 4 km from the Tongariro National Park Visitor Centre, on State Highway 48.

An easy walk takes just 10-15 minutes to reach the waterfall’s lookout.

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The top of the falls.  There was not much water coming down the river to feed the falls when we were there in May

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Tawhai Falls is also the filming location of Gollum’s pool where Faramir and his archers are watching Gollum fish.

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It’s a rocky walk once you are down at ground level, and it may be not possible to walk along the side of the stream if the falls have more water coming down the river from the mountain.

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“The Enemy Within” – a thirty-day revision – Day 8

This book has also been written for some time, like The Document, and the manuscript was also sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

So, we won’t talk about day 8.

Day 8 never happened. I want to believe that I went to bed at the usual time, and slept for 24 hours.

Except I didn’t.

What happened? A new plot twist came out of the new writing, and you guessed it, I had to go back and write some new lines to accommodate it.

Who said writing is fun?

Then, of course, a new idea pops into my head while having the first cup of coffee for the day, and …

Well, you know the rest.

Roll on day 9!

“The Enemy Within” – a thirty-day revision – Day 7

This book has also been written for some time, like The Document, and the manuscript was also sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

It’s the end of the first week

Is it plain sailing? No.

We’ve circled back to Chapter 9 and it is problematical. I read it, and I don’t like it.

So, I went to one of my beta readers, gave her a copy, and asked for an opinion. I knew that fishing with crocodiles was going to be more fun, but I couldn’t afford to go to Florida.

Two days later I got a three-page critique.

She could have sugar-coated it. You know, yes it suits the flow but there are a few tweaks required, not the last paragraph in capitals saying, IT NEEDS REWRITING.

I could have told her that.

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Did I say I hate editing?

Searching for locations: Gollums Pool, New Zealand

Tawhai Falls is a 13-meter high waterfall located in Tongariro National Park.

It is located about 4 km from the Tongariro National Park Visitor Centre, on State Highway 48.

An easy walk takes just 10-15 minutes to reach the waterfall’s lookout.

2013-03-13 14.47.53

The top of the falls.  There was not much water coming down the river to feed the falls when we were there in May

2013-03-13 14.48.18

Tawhai Falls is also the filming location of Gollum’s pool where Faramir and his archers are watching Gollum fish.

2013-03-13 14.51.45

It’s a rocky walk once you are down at ground level, and it may be not possible to walk along the side of the stream if the falls have more water coming down the river from the mountain.

2013-03-13 14.51.37

Searching for locations: Kaikoura, New Zealand, and, of course, the whales

I’m sure a lot of people have considered the prospect of whale watching.  I’m not sure how the subject came up on one of our visits to New Zealand, but I suspect it was one of those tourist activity leaflets you find in the foyer of motels, hotels, and guesthouses.

Needless to say, it was only a short detour to go to Kaikoura and check out the prospect.

Yes, the ocean at the time seemed manageable.  My wife has a bad time with sea sickness, but she was prepared to make the trip, after some necessary preparations.  Seasickness tablets and special bands to wear on her wrist were recommended and used.

The boat was large and had two decks, and mostly enclosed.  There were a lot of people on board, and we sat inside for the beginning of the voyage.  The sea wasn’t rough, but there was about a meter and a half swell, easily managed by the boat while it was moving.

It took about a half hour or so to reach the spot where the boat stopped and a member of the crew used a listening device to see if there were any whales.

That led to the first wave of sickness.

We stopped for about ten minutes, and the boat moved up and down on the waves.  It was enough to start the queasy stomachs of a number of passengers.  Myself, it was a matter of going out on deck and taking in the sea air.  Fortunately, I don’t get seasick.

Another longish journey to the next prospective site settled a number of the queasy stomachs, but when we stopped again, the swell had increased, along with the boat’s motion.  Seasick bags were made available for the few that had succumbed.

By the time we reached the site where there was a whale, over half the passengers had been sick, and I was hoping they had enough seasick bags, and then enough bin space for them.

The whale, of course, put on a show for us, and those that could went out on deck to get their photos.

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By the end of the voyage, nearly everyone on board was sick, and I was helping to hand out seasick bags.

Despite the anti sickness preparations, my wife had also succumbed.  When we returned and she was asked if the device had worked, she said no.

But perhaps it had because within half an hour we were at a cafe eating lunch, fish and chips of course.

This activity has been crossed off the bucket list, and there’s no more whale watching in our traveling future.  Nor, it seems, will we be going of ocean liners.

Perhaps a cruise down the Rhine might be on the cards.  I don’t think that river, wide as it is in places, will ever have any sort of swell.

“The Enemy Within” – a thirty-day revision – Day 7

This book has also been written for some time, like The Document, and the manuscript was also sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

It’s the end of the first week

Is it plain sailing? No.

We’ve circled back to Chapter 9 and it is problematical. I read it, and I don’t like it.

So, I went to one of my beta readers, gave her a copy, and asked for an opinion. I knew that fishing with crocodiles was going to be more fun, but I couldn’t afford to go to Florida.

Two days later I got a three-page critique.

She could have sugar-coated it. You know, yes it suits the flow but there are a few tweaks required, not the last paragraph in capitals saying, IT NEEDS REWRITING.

I could have told her that.

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Did I say I hate editing?

“The Enemy Within” – a thirty-day revision – Day 6

This book has also been written for some time, like The Document, and the manuscript was also sitting in a box with half a dozen others gathering dust and not quite as complete, so this month it is going to get the makeover, a first draft for the editor.

And so it begins…

At last, the story is coming together.

The first seven chapters, with the necessary revisions and additions to provide stepping stones for later events, have been amended.

The next chapter has been slightly revised.

Chapter 9 is still under construction and can be written later.  The information on the characters in this chapter will be drawn upon for later events, and it doesn’t have to happen straight away.

Chapter 10 is now done and has tied up several loose ends.

I have now been able to sit down and do the forward plan for at least three more chapters, and I know what will happen next.

Stay tuned, anything can happen between now and the next report!