Tired Tropes: Why It’s Time to Retire “Smart as a Whip,” “Light as a Feather,” and “dumb as a rock” (And What to Use Instead)
We’ve all been there. You’re in the flow of writing a scene, drafting a marketing email, or chatting with a friend, and a familiar phrase drops off your fingertips.
She was light as a feather.He was smart as a whip.That idea is dumb as a rock.
They’re comfortable. They’re automatic. And, frankly, they are dead on arrival.
In copywriting and creative writing alike, clichés are the fast-food of language: they fill a craving instantly, but they leave your audience feeling uninspired and unsatisfied. When we rely on tired idioms, we trade specific imagery for lazy shorthand.
If you want to elevate your writing, boost your SEO engagement by reducing bounce rates (readers stick around longer for original prose!), and captivate your audience, it’s time to banish these three overused similes.
Let’s break down why they fail, and explore fresh, vibrant alternatives that will make your writing pop.
Cliche #1: “Smart as a Whip”
Why It Fails
Where did this even come from? A leather strap attached to a handle doesn’t exactly scream “cognitive genius.” While etymologists debate its origins—some point to the snap of a whip representing quickness, others to a “smart” (stinging) lash—the phrase has been beaten to death. It’s a vague umbrella term that tells your reader someone is intelligent without showing how that intelligence manifests.
Fresh Alternatives
Intelligence isn’t a monolith. A person can be mathematically gifted, socially brilliant, or quick on their feet. Show your reader the flavor of their smarts:
For quick-wittedness: Sharp as a tack, quick-silver, nimble-minded, brilliantly agile.
For deep intellect: Encyclopedic, sagacious, razor-sharp, intellectually voracious.
In a sentence: Instead of “She was smart as a whip during the negotiation,” try:“She sliced through the corporate jargon with surgical precision, anticipating counter-arguments before they even left the room.”
Cliché #2: “Light as a Feather”
Why It Fails
Unless you are literally writing a scientific paper about avian plumage, “light as a feather” is completely devoid of sensory detail. It’s a ghost of a description. It doesn’t help the reader feel the weightlessness; it just tells them the math of the mass.
Fresh Alternatives
Weightlessness can be terrifying, graceful, or magical. Tap into the physical sensations of air, movement, and suspension to bring your descriptions to life:
For physical objects: Buoyant, ethereal, gossamer, weightless, vaporous, floating on a breeze.
For people or movements: Effortless, floating, unanchored, graceful as a drifted leaf.
In a sentence: Instead of “The vintage silk dress was light as a feather,” try:“The vintage silk cascaded over her skin like a second atmosphere, practically floating on the ambient air.”
Cliché #3: “Dumb as a Rock”
Why It Fails
Aside from being unoriginal, calling someone (or something) “dumb as a rock” is a blunt-force instrument. It lacks nuance, and frankly, rocks have a lot of geological history going for them—they are much more interesting than this insult implies. Relying on this phrase misses an opportunity to inject humor, vivid imagery, or specific critique into your writing.
Fresh Alternatives
If you need to describe a lack of common sense, ignorance, or a thoroughly unwise decision, you have a wealth of colorful alternatives at your disposal:
For foolishness: Clueless, vacant, dense as lead, hopelessly out-to-lunch, playing checkers in a chess grandmaster tournament.
For bad ideas: Ill-conceived, half-baked, structurally unsound, a house of cards.
In a sentence: Instead of “That business strategy is dumb as a rock,” try:“That business strategy was about as seaworthy as a screen-door canoe.”
How to Spot Clichés in Your Own Writing
Writing without clichés isn’t about never using a common phrase again; it’s about developing an editor’s eye for autopilot writing. The next time you edit your work, run this quick mental check:
The “First Thought” Test: If a phrase or comparison pops into your head immediately, it probably popped into a million other writers’ heads, too. Pause, delete it, and force yourself to brainstorm three alternative descriptions.
Appeal to the Senses: Clichés are abstract. Real writing is sensory. Does your description sound, smell, look, feel, or taste like something specific?
Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of telling us someone is “smart as a whip” or a concept is “dumb as a rock,” show us the action, the consequence, or the environment that proves it.
Upgrade Your Vocabulary Today
Language is a living, breathing toolkit. When we rely on clichés like smart as a whip, light as a feather, and dumb as a rock, we dull our tools. Swap them out for specific, evocative, and surprising alternatives, and watch your writing instantly transform from generic to unforgettable.
What’s your least favorite cliché? Drop it in the comments below along with your favorite alternative!
Hidden Gems of Abuja: 5 Off-the-Beaten-Path Attractions You Shouldn’t Miss
Abuja, Nigeria’s capital city, is often celebrated for its wide boulevards, modern architecture, and bustling political hubs. While most tourists flock to well-known spots like the National Mosque, Millennium Park, or the Aso Rock Monument, there’s a quieter, more intimate side to Abuja that often goes unnoticed. Beyond the crowds lies a collection of serene, unique, and culturally rich attractions that offer a more personal and authentic experience.
If you’re looking to explore Abuja beyond the tourist brochures, here are the top five lesser-known yet distinctive attractions that promise tranquillity, beauty, and a touch of local charm—without the hustle and bustle.
1. Abuja National Zoo
Tucked away in the quieter Gwarimpa district, the Abuja National Zoo offers a peaceful escape into the world of Nigerian wildlife. Unlike the more crowded national parks, this compact zoo is family-friendly and sees far fewer visitors, making it ideal for a relaxed afternoon.
What makes it special? Home to indigenous species like the Nigerian dwarf crocodile, West African manatees, and various primates, the zoo also features educational exhibits on conservation. The lush, well-maintained grounds include shaded walkways and picnic spots—perfect for nature lovers and families seeking a quiet day out.
Pro Tip: Visit on weekday mornings for an even more serene experience, and don’t miss the reptile house—it’s one of the few places in the country showcasing a dedicated collection of African reptiles.
2. Jabi Lake and Boat Club (Beyond the Kayaks)
While Jabi Lake is known for its weekend kayaking activities and lakeside cafes, few visitors venture beyond the main dock or the popular eateries. However, the surrounding trails and the quieter eastern shoreline offer a completely different vibe.
What makes it special? Early mornings at the lake are magical—fog hovers above the water, birds call from the reeds, and fishermen paddle silently in wooden canoes. The lesser-used walking paths along the eastern bank provide scenic views and a chance to observe local life along the water’s edge. It’s a photographer’s dream and a meditative retreat from city noise.
Pro Tip: Bring a coffee from a nearby café and take a quiet stroll along the back trails before 8 AM to fully appreciate the lake’s tranquil beauty.
3. Kubwa Hills and Rock Formations
Located just a short drive from the city centre in the Kubwa neighbourhood, these natural rock formations rise dramatically from the savannah, offering panoramic views and a sense of untouched wilderness.
What makes it special? Unlike Aso Rock, which is often crowded and surveilled, the Kubwa Hills are largely unmarked and unmanaged—making them perfect for adventurous travellers who enjoy hiking and solitude. The area is rich in geological history, with unique weathered granite outcrops and hidden caves. It’s also a favorite among local artists and spiritual groups, adding a subtle cultural layer to the landscape.
Pro Tip: Visit with a local guide or a trusted companion, wear comfortable shoes, and bring water—there are no facilities on-site. Sunset here offers one of the most underrated views in Abuja.
4. Arts Market at Sheraton Hotel (Abuja Arts & Crafts Market)
While many head to city malls and souvenir shops, the weekly arts and crafts market held outside the Sheraton Hotel (Friday afternoons to Sunday evenings) is a hidden treasure trove of Nigerian creativity.
What makes it special? Here, you’ll find hand-carved sculptures, traditional fabrics, beadwork, and pottery from artisans across Nigeria’s 36 states. Because it’s not widely advertised, it attracts more locals than tourists, making it a genuine cultural exchange. The prices are fair, and vendors are happy to share stories behind their crafts.
Pro Tip: Go on a Saturday morning to see the most variety and engage with artists while they’re setting up their stalls. It’s a fantastic place to pick up authentic, one-of-a-kind souvenirs.
5. Nigeria Nuclear Regulatory Authority (NNRA) Garden and Sculpture Park
An unexpected gem, the NNRA premises in Jabi doubles as a hidden sculpture garden and green space. While the agency is operational, its front garden is open to the public and maintained like a mini-park.
What makes it special? The space features abstract metal sculptures by Nigerian artists, serene water features, and winding pathways through thick foliage. The blend of art, nature, and science is unique—rarely seen elsewhere in the city. It’s an oasis of calm where you can sit, reflect, and enjoy a moment of quiet contemplation.
Pro Tip: Combine your visit with a stop at the nearby Jabi Lake or a quiet lunch at one of the less crowded local restaurants in Jabi Mall.
Final Thoughts: Discover a Different Abuja
Abuja is more than government buildings and grand monuments. Its quieter corners reveal a city rich in culture, nature, and local life. By stepping off the beaten path, you not only avoid the crowds but also gain a deeper appreciation for the capital’s soul.
So the next time you’re in Abuja—or planning a visit—skip the queues and embrace the serenity. These five spots may not be on every tourist map, but they promise experiences that are authentic, memorable, and refreshingly uncrowded.
Abuja’s best-kept secrets are waiting—will you go find them?
Have you visited any of these hidden spots? Share your experience in the comments below, or tag us on social media with your Abuja off-the-grid adventures!
Rabat’s Secret Side: 5 Distinctive Attractions to Escape the Crowds
When you think of Rabat, Morocco’s elegant capital, images of the iconic blue-and-white walls of the Kasbah of the Udayas or the grand silhouette of the Hassan Tower likely come to mind. And for good reason—they’re breathtaking.
But the true magic of a city often lies just beyond the postcard-perfect sights. It’s found in the quiet corners, the local haunts, and the places where the city’s pulse beats a little softer. If you’re yearning to experience the distinctive soul of Rabat without the jostle of tour groups, you’re in for a treat.
Here are five remarkable, uncrowded attractions that will show you a completely different side of this imperial city.
1. The Ancient Whispers of Chellah Necropolis
What it is: A serene, sprawling archaeological site on the outskirts of the city that feels like a world away. Chellah is a captivating fusion of history, built upon the ruins of an ancient Roman town and later transformed into a fortified medieval necropolis.
Why it’s distinctive: This isn’t just one ruin; it’s a layered tapestry of time. You can walk along ancient Roman roads, touch the weathered stones of a forum, and then explore the hauntingly beautiful ruins of a 14th-century Islamic mosque with its elegant minaret. The real stars of the show, however, are the storks. Large stork nests perch precariously atop the ruins, and their constant clacking fills the air with a wild, primitive soundtrack you won’t find anywhere else.
Why it’s not crowded: Its location, a short walk or taxi ride from the main medina, naturally filters out the casual tourist. The sheer size of the site means that even on a busy day, you can easily find a quiet corner to yourself.
Pro Tip: Visit in the late afternoon. The golden hour light casts a magical glow on the stone, and the sighing of the wind through the cypress trees makes the whole place feel truly bewitching.
2. The Botanical Wonderland: Exotic Gardens of Bouknadel
What it is: A breathtaking 17-acre botanical garden nestled between Rabat and Salé, designed in the 1950s by French landscape architect Jean-Claude Nicolas Forestier.
Why it’s distinctive: This is more than just a garden; it’s a masterclass in design. A labyrinth of paths winds through distinct zones, from an Islamic-style garden with a reflective pool to a cactus-studded desert landscape and a lush, palm-filled jungle. The garden is famous for its “Grotto Café,” a cool, subterranean restaurant built into a cave—a perfect spot for a mint tea break. It’s a tranquil, beautifully curated escape.
Why it’s not crowded: It requires a dedicated trip, so it’s often missed by those on a tight schedule. It’s a beloved spot for locals but rarely, if ever, overrun with tourists.
Pro Tip: Take your time. Don’t just look for the plants; listen for the birds. The garden is an important bird sanctuary, so bring a little patience, and you might be rewarded with some wonderful sightings.
3. An Architectural Marvel: The National Library of the Kingdom of Morocco
What it is: A stunningly modern structure that stands in stark, beautiful contrast to Rabat’s ancient history. The new building, opened in 2022, is a cultural landmark and a haven of tranquillity.
Why it’s distinctive: The architecture itself is the main event. A series of hexagonal modules create a visually striking facade inspired by traditional Moroccan geometric patterns (zellij). Inside, you’ll find a vast, light-filled reading room that feels like a cathedral of books. It’s a place where Morocco’s rich literary heritage meets cutting-edge design. You don’t need to be a researcher to appreciate the sense of peace and intellectual energy.
Why it’s not crowded: For a tourist, a library is an unconventional choice. You’ll share the space mostly with students and locals, making for an authentically peaceful and modern Moroccan experience.
Pro Tip: You can enter the public areas to admire the architecture. Check their website for visitor access policies, and be sure to walk up to the upper levels for the best view of the main reading hall.
4. A Timeless View from the Moorish Café (Café Maure)
What it is: A simple, historic café perched on a cliffside overlooking the Atlantic Ocean and the mouth of the Bou Regreg river. It has been serving tea and coffee since the early 20th century.
Why it’s distinctive: This is an experience, not just a beverage. The café offers what is arguably the single best panoramic view in Rabat. From its terrace, you can see the kasbah, the ocean, the Hassan Tower, and the city of Salé. The interior is a time capsule, with worn wooden benches and tables, and the air is thick with the scent of mint and history. The sound of crashing waves and the call to prayer drifting across the river is unforgettable.
Why it’s not crowded: While it’s well-known to residents, its simplicity deters the large tour bus crowds. It’s a place for lingering with a book or a friend, not for a quick photo stop.
Pro Tip: Go in the late afternoon and order a thé à la menthe (mint tea). There’s nothing quite like sipping the sweet, steaming tea while watching the sun dip towards the horizon.
5. The Treasure Trove: The Archaeological Museum
What it is: A compact, beautifully curated museum that houses some of Morocco’s most important archaeological finds.
Why it’s distinctive: While many museums attempt to do everything, this one has a focused, world-class collection. Its crown jewels are the incredible bronze artifacts from the Roman site of Volubilis, including a stunning portrait of Cato the Younger. The displays are excellent, providing a deep dive into the pre-Islamic cultures—from prehistoric to Roman—that shaped this land. It’s a quiet, scholarly space that tells a fascinating story often overlooked in the bustling medinas.
Why it’s not crowded: Let’s be honest: most tourists come for the souks and the sights, not the museums. This means you can often have entire rooms to yourself, allowing you to appreciate the incredible artifacts without distraction.
Pro Tip: The museum is right next to the Andalusian Gardens. Visit the gardens early when they’re quietest, and then escape into the cool, calm halls of the museum to escape the midday sun.
Ready to Discover Rabat’s Soul?
Rabat rewards the curious traveller. By stepping just a little off the main path, you’ll find a city of serene gardens, ancient echoes, and modern marvels. These five spots are just a starting point—a key to a quieter, more personal Moroccan experience.
Have you been to Rabat and discovered a hidden gem of your own? Share it in the comments below! We’d love to hear your secret spots.
This story has been ongoing since I was seventeen, and just to let you know, I’m 72 this year.
Yes, it’s taken a long time to get it done.
Why, you might ask.
Well, I never gave it much interest because I started writing it after a small incident when I was 17, and working as a book packer for a book distributor in Melbourne
At the end of my first year, at Christmas, the employer had a Christmas party, and that year, it was at a venue in St Kilda.
I wasn’t going to go because at that age, I was an ordinary boy who was very introverted and basically scared of his own shadow and terrified by girls.
Back then, I would cross the street to avoid them
Also, other members of the staff in the shipping department were rough and ready types who were not backwards in telling me what happened, and being naive, perhaps they knew I’d be either shocked or intrigued.
I was both adamant I wasn’t coming and then got roped in on a dare.
Damn!
So, back then, in the early 70s, people looked the other way when it came to drinking, and of course, Dutch courage always takes away the concerns, especially when normally you wouldn’t do half the stuff you wouldn’t in a million years
I made it to the end, not as drunk and stupid as I thought I might be, and St Kilda being a salacious place if you knew where to look, my new friends decided to give me a surprise.
It didn’t take long to realise these men were ‘men about town’ as they kept saying, and we went on an odyssey. Yes, those backstreet brothels where one could, I was told, have anything they could imagine.
Let me tell you, large quantities of alcohol and imagination were a very bad mix.
So, the odyssey in ‘The things we do’ was based on that, and then the encounter with Diana. Well, let’s just say I learned a great deal about girls that night.
Firstly, not all girls are nasty and spiteful, which seemed to be the case whenever I met one. There was a way to approach, greet, talk to, and behave.
It was also true that I could have had anything I wanted, but I decided what was in my imagination could stay there. She was amused that all I wanted was to talk, but it was my money, and I could spend it how I liked.
And like any 17-year-old naive fool, I fell in love with her and had all these foolish notions. Months later, I went back, but she had moved on, to where no one was saying or knew.
Needless to say, I was heartbroken and had to get over that first loss, which, like any 17-year-old, was like the end of the world.
But it was the best hour I’d ever spent in my life and would remain so until I met the woman I have been married to for the last 48 years.
As Henry, he was in part based on a rebel, the son of rich parents who despised them and their wealth, and he used to regale anyone who would listen about how they had messed up his life
If only I’d come from such a background!
And yes, I was only a run away from climbing up the stairs to get on board a ship, acting as a purser.
I worked for a shipping company and they gave their junior staff members an opportunity to spend a year at sea working as a purser on a cargo ship that sailed between Melbourne, Sydney and Hobart in Australia.
One of the other junior staff members’ turn came, and I would visit him on board when he would tell me stories about life on board, the officers, the crew, and other events. These stories, which sounded incredible to someone so impressionable, were a delight to hear.
Alas, by that time, I had tired of office work and moved on to be a tradesman at the place where my father worked.
It proved to be the right move, as that is where I met my wife. Diana had been right; love would find me when I least expected it.
Tired Tropes: Why It’s Time to Retire “Smart as a Whip,” “Light as a Feather,” and “dumb as a rock” (And What to Use Instead)
We’ve all been there. You’re in the flow of writing a scene, drafting a marketing email, or chatting with a friend, and a familiar phrase drops off your fingertips.
She was light as a feather.He was smart as a whip.That idea is dumb as a rock.
They’re comfortable. They’re automatic. And, frankly, they are dead on arrival.
In copywriting and creative writing alike, clichés are the fast-food of language: they fill a craving instantly, but they leave your audience feeling uninspired and unsatisfied. When we rely on tired idioms, we trade specific imagery for lazy shorthand.
If you want to elevate your writing, boost your SEO engagement by reducing bounce rates (readers stick around longer for original prose!), and captivate your audience, it’s time to banish these three overused similes.
Let’s break down why they fail, and explore fresh, vibrant alternatives that will make your writing pop.
Cliche #1: “Smart as a Whip”
Why It Fails
Where did this even come from? A leather strap attached to a handle doesn’t exactly scream “cognitive genius.” While etymologists debate its origins—some point to the snap of a whip representing quickness, others to a “smart” (stinging) lash—the phrase has been beaten to death. It’s a vague umbrella term that tells your reader someone is intelligent without showing how that intelligence manifests.
Fresh Alternatives
Intelligence isn’t a monolith. A person can be mathematically gifted, socially brilliant, or quick on their feet. Show your reader the flavor of their smarts:
For quick-wittedness: Sharp as a tack, quick-silver, nimble-minded, brilliantly agile.
For deep intellect: Encyclopedic, sagacious, razor-sharp, intellectually voracious.
In a sentence: Instead of “She was smart as a whip during the negotiation,” try:“She sliced through the corporate jargon with surgical precision, anticipating counter-arguments before they even left the room.”
Cliché #2: “Light as a Feather”
Why It Fails
Unless you are literally writing a scientific paper about avian plumage, “light as a feather” is completely devoid of sensory detail. It’s a ghost of a description. It doesn’t help the reader feel the weightlessness; it just tells them the math of the mass.
Fresh Alternatives
Weightlessness can be terrifying, graceful, or magical. Tap into the physical sensations of air, movement, and suspension to bring your descriptions to life:
For physical objects: Buoyant, ethereal, gossamer, weightless, vaporous, floating on a breeze.
For people or movements: Effortless, floating, unanchored, graceful as a drifted leaf.
In a sentence: Instead of “The vintage silk dress was light as a feather,” try:“The vintage silk cascaded over her skin like a second atmosphere, practically floating on the ambient air.”
Cliché #3: “Dumb as a Rock”
Why It Fails
Aside from being unoriginal, calling someone (or something) “dumb as a rock” is a blunt-force instrument. It lacks nuance, and frankly, rocks have a lot of geological history going for them—they are much more interesting than this insult implies. Relying on this phrase misses an opportunity to inject humor, vivid imagery, or specific critique into your writing.
Fresh Alternatives
If you need to describe a lack of common sense, ignorance, or a thoroughly unwise decision, you have a wealth of colorful alternatives at your disposal:
For foolishness: Clueless, vacant, dense as lead, hopelessly out-to-lunch, playing checkers in a chess grandmaster tournament.
For bad ideas: Ill-conceived, half-baked, structurally unsound, a house of cards.
In a sentence: Instead of “That business strategy is dumb as a rock,” try:“That business strategy was about as seaworthy as a screen-door canoe.”
How to Spot Clichés in Your Own Writing
Writing without clichés isn’t about never using a common phrase again; it’s about developing an editor’s eye for autopilot writing. The next time you edit your work, run this quick mental check:
The “First Thought” Test: If a phrase or comparison pops into your head immediately, it probably popped into a million other writers’ heads, too. Pause, delete it, and force yourself to brainstorm three alternative descriptions.
Appeal to the Senses: Clichés are abstract. Real writing is sensory. Does your description sound, smell, look, feel, or taste like something specific?
Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of telling us someone is “smart as a whip” or a concept is “dumb as a rock,” show us the action, the consequence, or the environment that proves it.
Upgrade Your Vocabulary Today
Language is a living, breathing toolkit. When we rely on clichés like smart as a whip, light as a feather, and dumb as a rock, we dull our tools. Swap them out for specific, evocative, and surprising alternatives, and watch your writing instantly transform from generic to unforgettable.
What’s your least favorite cliché? Drop it in the comments below along with your favorite alternative!
The Fear You Feel When You Write, It’s Normal: Embracing the Wisdom of Marguerite Duras
Every writer knows the moment.
The cursor blinks relentlessly on a blank, stark-white screen. The room is quiet, perhaps too quiet. Your chest tightens, a familiar knot twists in your stomach, and a voice whispers: This is terrible. Who do you think you are? You have nothing to say.
If you have ever felt this paralysing wave of anxiety before putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), take a deep breath. You are not failing as a writer; you are simply doing the work.
As the legendary French novelist and filmmaker Marguerite Duras famously observed, the fear you feel when you write is not a sign to stop. It is normal.
Let’s unpack this profound truth and explore why fear is actually the secret companion of every great writer.
Who Was Marguerite Duras and Why Did She Understand Writing’s Terror?
Marguerite Duras was a literary force of nature. Best known for her autobiographical novel The Lover (which won the prestigious Prix Goncourt), Duras wrote with a raw, uncompromising intensity that cut straight to the human soul. She didn’t write polite stories; she wrote about obsession, desire, memory, and the dark corners of the human psyche.
Because she mined such deep, vulnerable territory, Duras understood the cost of creation. She knew that to write authentically, one must court vulnerability. And vulnerability is terrifying.
Duras famously spoke about the solitude and the terror of the writing life. She suggested that writing is not a gentle hobby or a neat profession; it is an expedition into the unknown. When you sit down to write, you are venturing into a territory that does not yet exist, dragging ideas out of the ether and forcing them into reality. Of course it’s scary.
Why Does Writing Actually Scare Us?
If we want to overcome writing anxiety, we first have to understand its roots. Why does a harmless activity like arranging words on a page trigger a fight-or-flight response?
1. The Gap Between Taste and Talent
As Ira Glass famously noted, beginners (and even seasoned pros) suffer from a cruel paradox: our taste is refined enough to know when something isn’t working, but our execution often falls short of our vision. That gap—between the masterpiece in your head and the messy draft on your screen—is where fear lives.
2. The Fear of Exposure
Writing is an act of self-revelation. Even in fiction or copywriting, your worldview, your obsessions, and your fears bleed onto the page. To share your writing with the world is to stand naked in public. What if they judge you? What if they misunderstand you? What if they simply don’t care?
3. Confronting the Unknown
Unlike math or accounting, writing doesn’t have a definitive formula. When you start a piece, you rarely know exactly where it will end. You are stepping into a fog, trusting that the path will appear as you walk it. The human brain hates uncertainty, and it interprets that blank page as a survival threat.
How to Make Friends with Your Writing Fear
If fear is a normal, permanent resident of the writer’s house, how do we coexist with it? How do we write through the terror instead of running away from it?
1. Stop Waiting to Feel Confident
Many aspiring writers make the fatal mistake of waiting for the fear to go away before they start writing. They wait for inspiration, for the “right mood,” or for unshakeable confidence.
It never comes.
Professional writers don’t feel less fear than amateurs; they simply’ve learned to act in spite of it. As Duras understood, the fear is part of the process. Expect it. Greet it when you sit down at your desk: Ah, hello anxiety, I see you’re here. Let’s write anyway.
2. Lower the Stakes (Lower the Bar)
Perfectionism is fear in a fancy tuxedo. We get terrified because we put immense pressure on every single sentence to be brilliant.
Give yourself permission to write badly. As legendary humorist James Thurber put it: “Don’t get it right, get it written.” Your first draft is merely you telling the story to yourself. No one else has to see the mess.
3. Lean Into the Discomfort
If you feel a little sick to your stomach or nervous about a passage you are writing, pay attention. That discomfort is often a compass pointing directly toward truth. If a sentence makes you squirm, it usually means you’re touching on something real, raw, and powerful. Lean into it.
The Ultimate Takeaway
Writing is an act of courage. Every time you face the blank page and refuse to look away, you are engaging in a brave act of creation.
The next time that familiar knot forms in your stomach, remember the words and the spirit of Marguerite Duras. Remind yourself that the fear doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong; it means you’re doing it right. It means you care. It means you are treading on sacred, uncharted ground.
So, feel the fear. Acknowledge it. And then, open your document and type that first sentence anyway.
Are you struggling with writer’s block or creative fear? How do you push past the blank page anxiety? Let’s discuss in the comments below!
Rabat’s Secret Side: 5 Distinctive Attractions to Escape the Crowds
When you think of Rabat, Morocco’s elegant capital, images of the iconic blue-and-white walls of the Kasbah of the Udayas or the grand silhouette of the Hassan Tower likely come to mind. And for good reason—they’re breathtaking.
But the true magic of a city often lies just beyond the postcard-perfect sights. It’s found in the quiet corners, the local haunts, and the places where the city’s pulse beats a little softer. If you’re yearning to experience the distinctive soul of Rabat without the jostle of tour groups, you’re in for a treat.
Here are five remarkable, uncrowded attractions that will show you a completely different side of this imperial city.
1. The Ancient Whispers of Chellah Necropolis
What it is: A serene, sprawling archaeological site on the outskirts of the city that feels like a world away. Chellah is a captivating fusion of history, built upon the ruins of an ancient Roman town and later transformed into a fortified medieval necropolis.
Why it’s distinctive: This isn’t just one ruin; it’s a layered tapestry of time. You can walk along ancient Roman roads, touch the weathered stones of a forum, and then explore the hauntingly beautiful ruins of a 14th-century Islamic mosque with its elegant minaret. The real stars of the show, however, are the storks. Large stork nests perch precariously atop the ruins, and their constant clacking fills the air with a wild, primitive soundtrack you won’t find anywhere else.
Why it’s not crowded: Its location, a short walk or taxi ride from the main medina, naturally filters out the casual tourist. The sheer size of the site means that even on a busy day, you can easily find a quiet corner to yourself.
Pro Tip: Visit in the late afternoon. The golden hour light casts a magical glow on the stone, and the sighing of the wind through the cypress trees makes the whole place feel truly bewitching.
2. The Botanical Wonderland: Exotic Gardens of Bouknadel
What it is: A breathtaking 17-acre botanical garden nestled between Rabat and Salé, designed in the 1950s by French landscape architect Jean-Claude Nicolas Forestier.
Why it’s distinctive: This is more than just a garden; it’s a masterclass in design. A labyrinth of paths winds through distinct zones, from an Islamic-style garden with a reflective pool to a cactus-studded desert landscape and a lush, palm-filled jungle. The garden is famous for its “Grotto Café,” a cool, subterranean restaurant built into a cave—a perfect spot for a mint tea break. It’s a tranquil, beautifully curated escape.
Why it’s not crowded: It requires a dedicated trip, so it’s often missed by those on a tight schedule. It’s a beloved spot for locals but rarely, if ever, overrun with tourists.
Pro Tip: Take your time. Don’t just look for the plants; listen for the birds. The garden is an important bird sanctuary, so bring a little patience, and you might be rewarded with some wonderful sightings.
3. An Architectural Marvel: The National Library of the Kingdom of Morocco
What it is: A stunningly modern structure that stands in stark, beautiful contrast to Rabat’s ancient history. The new building, opened in 2022, is a cultural landmark and a haven of tranquillity.
Why it’s distinctive: The architecture itself is the main event. A series of hexagonal modules create a visually striking facade inspired by traditional Moroccan geometric patterns (zellij). Inside, you’ll find a vast, light-filled reading room that feels like a cathedral of books. It’s a place where Morocco’s rich literary heritage meets cutting-edge design. You don’t need to be a researcher to appreciate the sense of peace and intellectual energy.
Why it’s not crowded: For a tourist, a library is an unconventional choice. You’ll share the space mostly with students and locals, making for an authentically peaceful and modern Moroccan experience.
Pro Tip: You can enter the public areas to admire the architecture. Check their website for visitor access policies, and be sure to walk up to the upper levels for the best view of the main reading hall.
4. A Timeless View from the Moorish Café (Café Maure)
What it is: A simple, historic café perched on a cliffside overlooking the Atlantic Ocean and the mouth of the Bou Regreg river. It has been serving tea and coffee since the early 20th century.
Why it’s distinctive: This is an experience, not just a beverage. The café offers what is arguably the single best panoramic view in Rabat. From its terrace, you can see the kasbah, the ocean, the Hassan Tower, and the city of Salé. The interior is a time capsule, with worn wooden benches and tables, and the air is thick with the scent of mint and history. The sound of crashing waves and the call to prayer drifting across the river is unforgettable.
Why it’s not crowded: While it’s well-known to residents, its simplicity deters the large tour bus crowds. It’s a place for lingering with a book or a friend, not for a quick photo stop.
Pro Tip: Go in the late afternoon and order a thé à la menthe (mint tea). There’s nothing quite like sipping the sweet, steaming tea while watching the sun dip towards the horizon.
5. The Treasure Trove: The Archaeological Museum
What it is: A compact, beautifully curated museum that houses some of Morocco’s most important archaeological finds.
Why it’s distinctive: While many museums attempt to do everything, this one has a focused, world-class collection. Its crown jewels are the incredible bronze artifacts from the Roman site of Volubilis, including a stunning portrait of Cato the Younger. The displays are excellent, providing a deep dive into the pre-Islamic cultures—from prehistoric to Roman—that shaped this land. It’s a quiet, scholarly space that tells a fascinating story often overlooked in the bustling medinas.
Why it’s not crowded: Let’s be honest: most tourists come for the souks and the sights, not the museums. This means you can often have entire rooms to yourself, allowing you to appreciate the incredible artifacts without distraction.
Pro Tip: The museum is right next to the Andalusian Gardens. Visit the gardens early when they’re quietest, and then escape into the cool, calm halls of the museum to escape the midday sun.
Ready to Discover Rabat’s Soul?
Rabat rewards the curious traveller. By stepping just a little off the main path, you’ll find a city of serene gardens, ancient echoes, and modern marvels. These five spots are just a starting point—a key to a quieter, more personal Moroccan experience.
Have you been to Rabat and discovered a hidden gem of your own? Share it in the comments below! We’d love to hear your secret spots.
Nairobi’s Hidden Gems: 5 Incredible Attractions Without the Crowds
When you think of Nairobi, the mind often leaps to the iconic sights: the silhouettes of giraffes at the Giraffe Centre, the heart-warming sight of orphaned elephants at the Sheldrick Trust, or the breathtaking skyline viewed from a safari in Nairobi National Park.
And for good reason—these are world-class attractions. But they are also, well, popular. If you’re looking to swap the bustling queues for a more intimate, unique, and equally memorable experience, you’re in luck. Nairobi is a city of layers, and just beneath the surface of the main tourist trail lies a treasure trove of hidden gems.
Here are the top five visitor attractions in Nairobi that are rarely crowded but burst with distinctive character and unforgettable stories.
1. The Kenya National Archives: A Treasure Trove of Culture and History
Tucked away in a grand building right in the heart of the city’s central business district, the Kenya National Archives is one of Nairobi’s most-underestimated attractions. While the ground floor is a bustling hive of document services, head upstairs and step into another world.
What Makes It Distinctive: The second floor houses the incredible Murumbi African Heritage Collection. This is a jaw-dropping assortment of artifacts, ethnographic material, books, and art collected by Kenya’s second Vice President, Joseph Murumbi, and his wife, Sheila. From ancient tribal jewelry and textiles to intricate masks and powerful contemporary art, it’s a comprehensive and beautifully curated journey through the art and culture of Kenya and beyond.
Why It’s Not Crowded: Most tourists walk right past it, assuming it’s just a place for official records. It’s a serene, air-conditioned escape from the city heat where you can spend hours lost in the exhibits, often sharing the space with just a handful of local students.
Pro-Tip: Give yourself at least two hours. Don’t miss the stunning collection of African postage stamps or the powerful portraits in the art gallery. The entrance fee is a bargain for the sheer volume of world-class history on display.
2. The Nairobi Railway Museum: A Journey to the City’s Birth
Ever wondered why Nairobi exists in the first place? The answer lies on the tracks. The Nairobi Railway Museum, located right next to the main railway station, is a charming and nostalgic ode to the “Lunatic Express,” the railway line that gave birth to the city.
What Makes It Distinctive: This museum is an open-air gallery of majestic, rusting giants. You can climb aboard historic steam and diesel locomotives, explore royal carriages (including one used for Queen Elizabeth’s visit!), and delve into the fascinating, and often dramatic, history of the railway’s construction. It’s a tangible link to a bygone era of colonial ambition, engineering marvels, and the man-eating lions of Tsavo.
Why It’s Not Crowded: In a city obsessed with wildlife, the history of a railway is often overlooked. It feels like a well-kept secret, offering a peaceful and fascinating stroll through the very machines that shaped the nation.
Pro-Tip: Hire one of the on-site guides. Their personal stories and detailed knowledge bring the old engines and carriages to life in a way that plaques never could. On weekdays, you might even see modern trains rolling past, creating a surreal contrast between past and present.
3. Kazuri Beads Factory: Where Art and Empowerment Meet
For a truly special souvenir and a feel-good experience, leave the city centre and head to the leafy suburb of Karen for a visit to the Kazuri Beads Factory. “Kazuri” means “small and beautiful” in Swahili, and that perfectly describes the handcrafted ceramic beads and pottery made here.
What Makes It Distinctive: This isn’t just a shop; it’s a working factory with a powerful social mission. Kazuri employs over 300 single mothers, providing them with a sustainable livelihood and healthcare. You can take a free tour to see the entire process—from the kiln firing to the meticulous hand-painting—and chat with the talented artisans. It’s a vibrant, colourful, and inspiring place that supports local Kenyan women directly.
Why It’s Not Crowded: It’s slightly off the beaten path compared to the Karen Blixen Museum down the road. Tour groups tend to rush in and out, leaving plenty of space for independent travellers to browse at their own pace without feeling pressured.
Pro-Tip: Go in the morning to see the factory buzzing with activity. The “seconds” section, where you can buy slightly imperfect pieces at a huge discount, is fantastic for finding unique treasures.
4. The Ngong Hills: Nairobi’s Iconic Escape
While the Nairobi National Park offers a safari on the city’s doorstep, the Ngong Hills offer a spectacular escape above it. These iconic, four-ridged peaks are the rolling, green giants immortalised in Karen Blixen’s “Out of Africa.”
What Makes It Distinctive: The views are, simply put, epic. On a clear day, you can see the entire Nairobi skyline to the north and the vast expanse of the Great Rift Valley to the west. A hike along the ridges is a fantastic way to get some exercise, feel the wind on your face, and appreciate the natural beauty that frames the city. It’s a spiritual and rejuvenating experience.
Why It’s Not Crowded: While it gets busy with local hikers and picnickers on weekends, you’ll rarely find international tour buses here. Go on a weekday, and you might have large sections of the trail entirely to yourself, with only the sound of the wind for company.
Pro-Tip: Start early in the morning to avoid the midday sun. It’s an exposed hike, so bring plenty of water, a hat, and sunscreen. You don’t need a guide for the main trail, but hiring one from the local community at the entrance gate can provide fascinating insights and support the local economy.
5. Olorgesailie Prehistoric Site: A Glimpse into Human Origins
For the ultimate off-the-beaten-path adventure, take a day trip south of the city to Olorgesailie. This is not your average tourist attraction; it’s a world-class, paleoanthropological site and a UNESCO World Heritage contender.
What Makes It Distinctive: This dry, dusty basin was once a lakeside prehistoric camp. The ground is literally littered with fossilised bones and, most astoundingly, hundreds of hand-axe tools created by early human ancestors (Homo erectus) over a million years ago. The small, excellent museum and guided walk take you through the incredible discoveries made here, offering a mind-bending perspective on the deep history of humanity in the very place it unfolded.
Why It’s Not Crowded: It’s a drive (about 90 minutes from Nairobi) and requires a dedicated trip. This geological and historical marvel is simply too remote and niche for the standard tourist itinerary, making it one of the most peaceful and profound places you can visit in the region.
Pro-Tip: A 4×4 vehicle is recommended, especially after rain. Combine the trip with a visit to Lake Magadi, a spectacular soda lake often tinged pink with flamingos. Pack a picnic and make a full day of it—the journey is as spectacular as the destination.
So next time you find yourself in Nairobi, I urge you to venture beyond the well-trodden path. Ditch the crowds for a morning at the Railway Museum, find your cultural bearings at the National Archives, and discover that the city’s most distinctive features are often its quietest. Happy travels
The Fear You Feel When You Write, It’s Normal: Embracing the Wisdom of Marguerite Duras
Every writer knows the moment.
The cursor blinks relentlessly on a blank, stark-white screen. The room is quiet, perhaps too quiet. Your chest tightens, a familiar knot twists in your stomach, and a voice whispers: This is terrible. Who do you think you are? You have nothing to say.
If you have ever felt this paralysing wave of anxiety before putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), take a deep breath. You are not failing as a writer; you are simply doing the work.
As the legendary French novelist and filmmaker Marguerite Duras famously observed, the fear you feel when you write is not a sign to stop. It is normal.
Let’s unpack this profound truth and explore why fear is actually the secret companion of every great writer.
Who Was Marguerite Duras and Why Did She Understand Writing’s Terror?
Marguerite Duras was a literary force of nature. Best known for her autobiographical novel The Lover (which won the prestigious Prix Goncourt), Duras wrote with a raw, uncompromising intensity that cut straight to the human soul. She didn’t write polite stories; she wrote about obsession, desire, memory, and the dark corners of the human psyche.
Because she mined such deep, vulnerable territory, Duras understood the cost of creation. She knew that to write authentically, one must court vulnerability. And vulnerability is terrifying.
Duras famously spoke about the solitude and the terror of the writing life. She suggested that writing is not a gentle hobby or a neat profession; it is an expedition into the unknown. When you sit down to write, you are venturing into a territory that does not yet exist, dragging ideas out of the ether and forcing them into reality. Of course it’s scary.
Why Does Writing Actually Scare Us?
If we want to overcome writing anxiety, we first have to understand its roots. Why does a harmless activity like arranging words on a page trigger a fight-or-flight response?
1. The Gap Between Taste and Talent
As Ira Glass famously noted, beginners (and even seasoned pros) suffer from a cruel paradox: our taste is refined enough to know when something isn’t working, but our execution often falls short of our vision. That gap—between the masterpiece in your head and the messy draft on your screen—is where fear lives.
2. The Fear of Exposure
Writing is an act of self-revelation. Even in fiction or copywriting, your worldview, your obsessions, and your fears bleed onto the page. To share your writing with the world is to stand naked in public. What if they judge you? What if they misunderstand you? What if they simply don’t care?
3. Confronting the Unknown
Unlike math or accounting, writing doesn’t have a definitive formula. When you start a piece, you rarely know exactly where it will end. You are stepping into a fog, trusting that the path will appear as you walk it. The human brain hates uncertainty, and it interprets that blank page as a survival threat.
How to Make Friends with Your Writing Fear
If fear is a normal, permanent resident of the writer’s house, how do we coexist with it? How do we write through the terror instead of running away from it?
1. Stop Waiting to Feel Confident
Many aspiring writers make the fatal mistake of waiting for the fear to go away before they start writing. They wait for inspiration, for the “right mood,” or for unshakeable confidence.
It never comes.
Professional writers don’t feel less fear than amateurs; they simply’ve learned to act in spite of it. As Duras understood, the fear is part of the process. Expect it. Greet it when you sit down at your desk: Ah, hello anxiety, I see you’re here. Let’s write anyway.
2. Lower the Stakes (Lower the Bar)
Perfectionism is fear in a fancy tuxedo. We get terrified because we put immense pressure on every single sentence to be brilliant.
Give yourself permission to write badly. As legendary humorist James Thurber put it: “Don’t get it right, get it written.” Your first draft is merely you telling the story to yourself. No one else has to see the mess.
3. Lean Into the Discomfort
If you feel a little sick to your stomach or nervous about a passage you are writing, pay attention. That discomfort is often a compass pointing directly toward truth. If a sentence makes you squirm, it usually means you’re touching on something real, raw, and powerful. Lean into it.
The Ultimate Takeaway
Writing is an act of courage. Every time you face the blank page and refuse to look away, you are engaging in a brave act of creation.
The next time that familiar knot forms in your stomach, remember the words and the spirit of Marguerite Duras. Remind yourself that the fear doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong; it means you’re doing it right. It means you care. It means you are treading on sacred, uncharted ground.
So, feel the fear. Acknowledge it. And then, open your document and type that first sentence anyway.
Are you struggling with writer’s block or creative fear? How do you push past the blank page anxiety? Let’s discuss in the comments below!
It was the first time in almost a week that I made the short walk to the cafe alone. It was early, and the chill of the morning was still in the air. In summer, it was the best time of the day. When Susan came with me, it was usually much later, when the day was much warmer and less tolerable.
On the morning of the third day of her visit, Susan said she was missing the hustle and bustle of London, and by the end of the fourth she said, in not so many words, she was over being away from ‘civilisation’. This was a side of her I had not seen before, and it surprised me.
She hadn’t complained, but it was making her irritable. The Susan that morning was vastly different to the Susan on the first day. So much, I thought, for her wanting to ‘reconnect’, the word she had used as the reason for coming to Greve unannounced.
It was also the first morning I had time to reflect on her visit and what my feelings were towards her. It was the reason I’d come to Greve: to soak up the peace and quiet and think about what I was going to do with the rest of my life.
I sat in my usual corner. Maria, one of two waitresses, came out, stopped, and there was no mistaking the relief in her manner. There was an air of tension between Susan and Maria I didn’t understand, and it seemed to emanate from Susan rather than the other way around. I could understand her attitude if it was towards Alisha, but not Maria. All she did was serve coffee and cake.
When Maria recovered from the momentary surprise, she said, smiling, “You are by yourself?” She gave a quick glance in the direction of my villa, just to be sure.
“I am this morning. I’m afraid the heat, for one who is not used to it, can be quite debilitating. I’m also afraid it has had a bad effect on her manners, for which I apologise. I cannot explain why she has been so rude to you.”
“You do not have to apologise for her, David, but it is of no consequence to me. I have had a lot worse. I think she is simply jealous.”
It had crossed my mind, but there was no reason for her to be. “Why?”
“She is a woman, I am a woman, she thinks because you and I are friends, there is something between us.”
It made sense, even if it was not true. “Perhaps if I explained…”
Maria shook her head. “If there is a hole in the boat, you should not keep bailing but try to plug the hole. My grandfather had many expressions, David. If I may give you one piece of advice, as much as it is none of my business, you need to make your feelings known, and if they are not as they once were, and I think they are not, you need to tell her. Before she goes home.”
Interesting advice. Not only a purveyor of excellent coffee, but Maria was also a psychiatrist who had astutely worked out my dilemma. What was that expression, ‘not just a pretty face’?
“Is she leaving soon?” I asked, thinking Maria knew more about Susan’s movements than I did.
“You would disappoint me if you had not suspected as much. Susan was having coffee and talking to someone in her office on a cell phone. It was an intense conversation. I should not eavesdrop, but she said being here was like being stuck in hell. It is a pity she does not share your love for our little piece of paradise, is it not?”
“It is indeed. And you’re right. She said she didn’t have a phone, but I know she has one. She just doesn’t value the idea of getting away from the office. Perhaps her role doesn’t afford her that luxury.”
And perhaps Alisha was right about Maria, that I should be more careful. She had liked Maria the moment she saw her. We had sat at this very table, the first day I arrived. I would have travelled alone, but Prendergast, my old boss, liked to know where ex-employees of the Department were, and what they were doing.
She sighed. “I am glad I am just a waitress. Your usual coffee and cake?”
“Yes, please.”
Several months had passed since we had rescued Susan from her despotic father; she had recovered faster than we had thought, and settled into her role as the new Lady Featherington, though she preferred not to use that title, but go by the name of Lady Susan Cheney.
I didn’t get to be a Lord, or have any title, not that I was expecting one. What I had expected was that Susan, once she found her footing as head of what seemed to be a commercial empire, would not have time for details like husbands, particularly when our agreement made before the wedding gave either of us the right to end it.
There was a moment when I visited her recovering in the hospital, where I was going to give her the out, but I didn’t, and she had not invoked it. We were still married, just not living together.
This visit was one where she wanted to ‘reconnect’ as she called it, and invite me to come home with her. She saw no reason why we could not resume our relationship, conveniently forgetting she indirectly had me arrested for her murder, charges both her mother and Lucy vigorously pursued, and had the clone not returned to save me, I might still be in jail.
It was not something I would forgive or forget any time soon.
There were other reasons why I was reluctant to stay with her, like forgetting small details, an irregularity in her character I found odd. She looked the same, she sounded the same, she basically acted the same, but my mind was telling me something was not right. It was not the Susan I first met, even allowing for the ordeal she had been subjected to.
But, despite those misgivings, there was no question in my mind that I still loved her, and her clandestine arrival had brought back all those feelings. But as the days passed, I began to get the impression my feelings were one-sided and she was just going through the motions.
Which brought me to the last argument, earlier, where I said if I went with her, it would be business meetings, social obligations, and quite simply her ‘celebrity’ status that would keep us apart. I reminded her that I had said from the outset I didn’t like the idea of being in the spotlight, and when I reiterated it, she simply brushed it off as just part of the job, adding rather strangely that I always looked good in a suit. The flippancy of that comment was the last straw, and I left before I said something I would regret.
I knew I was not a priority. Maybe somewhere inside me, I had wanted to be a priority, and I was disappointed when I was not.
And finally, there was Alisha. Susan, at the height of the argument, had intimated she believed I had an affair with her, but that elephant was always in the room whenever Alisha was around. It was no surprise when I learned Susan had asked Prendergast to reassign her to other duties.
At least I knew what my feelings for Alisha were, and there were times when I had to remember she was persona non grata. Perhaps that was why Susan had her banished, but, again, a small detail; jealousy was not one of Susan’s traits when I first knew her.
Perhaps it was time to set Susan free.
When I swung around to look in the direction of the lane where my villa was, I saw Susan. She was formally dressed, not in her ‘tourist’ clothes, which she had bought from one of the local clothing stores. We had fun that day, shopping for clothes, a chore I’d always hated. It had been followed by a leisurely lunch, lots of wine and soul searching.
It was the reason why I sat in this corner; old habits die hard. I could see trouble coming from all directions, not that Susan was trouble or at least I hoped not, but it allowed me the time to watch her walking towards the cafe in what appeared to be short, angry steps; perhaps the culmination of the heat wave and our last argument.
She glared at me as she sat, dropping her bag beside her on the ground, where I could see the cell phone sitting on top. She followed my glance down, and then she looked unrepentant back at me.
Maria came back at the exact moment she was going to speak. I noticed Maria hesitate for a second when she saw Susan, then put her smile in place to deliver my coffee.
Neither spoke nor looked at each other. I said, “Susan will have what I’m having, thanks.”
Maria nodded and left.
“Now,” I said, leaning back in my seat, “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation as to why you didn’t tell me about the phone, but that first time you disappeared, I’d guessed you needed to keep in touch with your business interests. I thought it somewhat unwisethat you should come out when the board of one of your companies was trying to remove you, because of what was it, an unexplained absence? All you had to do was tell me there were problems and you needed to remain at home to resolve them.”
My comment elicited a sideways look, with a touch of surprise.
“It was unfortunate timing on their behalf, and I didn’t want you to think everything else was more important than us. There were issues before I came, and I thought the people at home would be able to manage without me for at least a week, but I was wrong.”
“Why come at all. A phone call would have sufficed.”
“I had to see you, talk to you. At least we have had a chance to do that. I’m sorry about yesterday. I once told you I would not become my mother, but I’m afraid I sounded just like her. I misjudged just how much this role would affect me, and truly, I’m sorry.”
An apology was the last thing I expected.
“You have a lot of work to do catching up after being away, and of course, in replacing your mother and gaining the requisite respect as the new Lady Featherington. I think it would be for the best if I were not another distraction. We have plenty of time to reacquaint ourselves when you get past all these teething issues.”
“You’re not coming with me?” She sounded disappointed.
“I think it would be for the best if I didn’t.”
“Why?”
“It should come as no surprise to you that I’ve been keeping an eye on your progress. You are so much better doing your job without me. I told your mother once that when the time came I would not like the responsibilities of being your husband. Now that I have seen what it could possibly entail, I like it even less. You might also want to reconsider our arrangement, after all, we only had a marriage of convenience, and now that those obligations have been fulfilled, we both have the option of terminating it. I won’t make things difficult for you if that’s what you want.”
It was yet another anomaly, I thought; she should look distressed, and I would raise the matter of that arrangement. Perhaps she had forgotten the finer points. I, on the other hand, had always known we would not last forever. The perplexed expression, to me, was a sign she might have forgotten.
Then, her expression changed. “Is that what you want?”
“I wasn’t madly in love with you when we made that arrangement, so it was easy to agree to your terms, but inexplicably, since then, my feelings for you changed, and I would be sad if we parted ways. But the truth is, I can’t see how this is going to work.”
“In saying that, do you think I don’t care for you?”
That was exactly what I was thinking, but I wasn’t going to voice that opinion out loud. “You spent a lot of time finding new ways to make my life miserable, Susan. You and that wretched friend of yours, Lucy. While your attitude improved after we were married, that was because you were going to use me when you went to see your father, and then almost let me go to prison for your murder.”
“I had nothing to do with that, other than to leave, and I didn’t agree with Lucy that you should be made responsible for my disappearance. I cannot be held responsible for the actions of my mother. She hated you; Lucy didn’t understand you, and Millie told me I was stupid for not loving you in return, and she was right. Why do you think I gave you such a hard time? You made it impossible not to fall in love with you, and it nearly changed my mind about everything I’d been planning so meticulously. But perhaps there was a more subliminal reason why I did because after I left, I wanted to believe, if anything went wrong, you would come and find me.”
“How could you possibly know that I’d even consider doing something like that, given what you knew about me?”
“Prendergast made a passing comment when my mother asked him about you; he told us you were very good at finding people and even better at fixing problems.”
“And yet here we are, one argument away from ending it.”
I could see Maria hovering, waiting for the right moment to deliver her coffee, then go back and find Gianna, the café owner, instead. Gianna was more abrupt and, for that reason, was rarely seen serving the customers. Today, she was particularly cantankerous, banging the cake dish on the table and frowning at Susan before returning to her kitchen. Gianna didn’t like Susan either.
Behind me, I heard a car stop, and when she looked up, I knew it was for her. She had arrived with nothing, and she was leaving with nothing.
She stood. “Last chance.”
“Forever?”
She hesitated and then shook away the look of annoyance on her face. “Of course not. I wanted you to come back with me so we could continue working on our relationship. I agree there are problems, but it’s nothing we can’t resolve if we try.”
I had been trying. “It’s too soon for both of us, Susan. I need to be able to trust you, and given the circumstances, and all that water under the bridge, I’m not sure if I can yet.”
She frowned at me. “As you wish.” She took an envelope out of her bag and put it on the table. “When you are ready, it’s an open ticket home. Please make it sooner rather than later. Despite what you think of me, I have missed you, and I have no intention of ending it between us.”
That said, she glared at me for a minute, shook her head, then walked to the car. I watched her get in and the car drive slowly away.
