Writing a book in 365 days – 220

Day 220

How to pitch a story to a prospective publisher

From Spark to Submission: Unearthing Your Story’s Soul & Crafting the Perfect Publisher Pitch

You did it. You poured your heart, soul, and countless hours onto the page. You wrestled with characters, built worlds, shaped narratives, and perhaps, finally, typed “The End.” That’s a monumental achievement in itself. But for many writers, the real work, or at least the most daunting, begins after the last word is written: the journey from manuscript to published book.

This journey often involves two critical questions:

  1. What is your story really about?
  2. How do you pitch it to a publisher (or agent)?

Let’s dive in.


What is Your Story Really About? Beyond the Plot

This might seem like a simple question. “It’s about a wizard who goes on a quest!” or “It’s a memoir about overcoming a difficult childhood.” But a publisher (or agent) wants to know more than just the surface plot. They want to understand the heart, the hook, the unique selling proposition of your book.

Think of it as distilling your entire manuscript into a potent, irresistible essence.

Here’s how to dig deeper:

  1. The Core Conflict & Stakes: What is the central problem your protagonist faces? What will they lose if they fail? What will they gain if they succeed? The higher the stakes, the more compelling the story.
    • Example: Instead of “A wizard goes on a quest,” try: “A reluctant wizard must retrieve a mythical artifact to prevent a shadow realm from consuming his world, even if it means confronting the darkness within himself.”
  2. The “So What?” (Theme & Message): Beyond the events, what is your story saying? Is it about resilience, love, the corrupting nature of power, the complexities of family, the search for identity? This is the underlying universal truth that will resonate with readers long after they’ve turned the final page.
    • Ask yourself: What do I want readers to feel or think about after reading my book?
  3. The Character’s Arc: How does your protagonist change or grow throughout the story? What emotional journey do they undertake? Readers connect with characters, and compelling character arcs are the backbone of great narratives.
  4. The Unique Hook: What makes your story stand out from the thousands of others? Is it a fresh take on an old trope? A never-before-seen world? A voice unlike any other? A surprising twist? This is what will make an agent pause.
  5. The “Elevator Pitch” (Logline): Can you summarize your entire book in 1-2 sentences? This is a crucial exercise. It forces you to identify the core concept, protagonist, conflict, and stakes. Practice saying it out loud. If it doesn’t immediately grab attention, refine it.
    • Template Idea: “When [inciting incident happens to protagonist], [protagonist] must [goal/quest] before [stakes/consequences].”

Why is this important for pitching? Because an agent or editor needs to quickly grasp what your book is, why it matters, and who it’s for. If you can articulate this clearly, you’re halfway there.


Mastering the Publisher Pitch: Your Gateway Document (The Query Letter)

For fiction, and often for memoirs, the primary tool for pitching is the query letter. For non-fiction (like self-help, business, cookbooks), you’ll typically need a more extensive book proposal. Here, we’ll focus on the query letter, which serves as your book’s literary dating profile.

The Goal: To intrigue an agent (who will then pitch your book to publishers) or a publisher directly (if they accept unagented submissions) enough to request more of your manuscript.

Key Components of a Killer Query Letter:

  1. Personalization (The Research is Key):
    • Address the agent by name: “Dear Ms. Smith” or “Dear Mr. Jones.” Never “To Whom It May Concern.”
    • State why you’re contacting them: Mention a specific book they represented that resonates with yours, an interview where they expressed interest in your genre, or a conference where you heard them speak. This shows you’ve done your homework and aren’t just spamming everyone.
  2. The Hook (Your Logline in Action):
    • Start immediately with your compelling 1-2 sentence logline. This is your chance to grab their attention within the first few seconds. Make it punchy, intriguing, and hint at the core conflict.
  3. The Brief Synopsis (2-3 paragraphs):
    • This is not a chapter-by-chapter breakdown. It’s a concise, engaging summary of your book’s main plot points, character arc, and central conflict.
    • Introduce your protagonist, their world, and the inciting incident.
    • Detail the main rising action and the core struggles.
    • Crucially, do NOT reveal the ending. End on a suspenseful note that makes them want to read more. What is the climax the protagonist must face? What’s at stake?
  4. About the Author (The Credentials):
    • Keep this brief and relevant. Mention anything that lends credibility to your writing (previous publications, awards, relevant professional experience that informs the book).
    • If you have a significant author platform (large social media following, relevant professional network, speaking engagements), mention it, especially for non-fiction.
    • If you have no prior publications, that’s okay! Be honest and professional. Focus on your passion and the book itself.
  5. Comparable Titles (The “Comps”):
    • Suggest 2-3 recently published books (within the last 3-5 years) that are similar to yours in genre, tone, or target audience.
    • DO NOT compare your book to bestsellers like “The next Harry Potter” or classics like “War and Peace.”
    • Choose books that agents sold successfully. This shows you understand the current market and where your book fits.
    • Example: “My novel will appeal to readers who enjoyed the intricate world-building of [Book A] combined with the emotional depth of [Book B].”
  6. Word Count & Genre:
    • State your manuscript’s exact word count (e.g., “This standalone novel is complete at 85,000 words.”)
    • Clearly state its genre (e.g., “Young Adult Contemporary,” “Historical Fantasy,” “Literary Fiction”).
  7. The Professional Close:
    • Thank them for their time and consideration.
    • Reiterate that you’ve attached/included the requested materials (e.g., “Per your submission guidelines, I have included the first ten pages of my manuscript below.”).
    • “Sincerely,” or “All best,” followed by your full name.
    • Include your contact information (email, phone).

Common Pitfalls to Avoid:

  • Typos and Grammatical Errors: Proofread endlessly. Get others to proofread. This is your first impression.
  • Being Overly Familiar or Demanding: Maintain a professional and courteous tone.
  • Pitching an Unfinished Manuscript (for Fiction): Unless specifically requested, your fiction manuscript must be complete and polished before querying.
  • Revealing the Entire Plot/Ending: You want to entice, not summarize everything.
  • Too Long: A query letter should ideally be one page, 300-500 words maximum. Every word counts.
  • Begging or Desperation: Confidence in your work, not desperation, is attractive.
  • Not Following Guidelines: Every agent has specific submission guidelines (e.g., paste into email, attach as PDF, query form). Follow them exactly. Not doing so is an instant rejection.

The Road Ahead

Getting published is a marathon, not a sprint. It requires patience, resilience, and a thick skin. Expect rejections – they are a universal part of the process. Use them as motivation to refine your pitch, improve your manuscript, and keep learning.

Your story deserves to be heard. By understanding its true essence and mastering the art of the pitch, you’re giving it the best possible chance to find its way from your heart to a reader’s hands.

Now, tell us: What’s the very core of your story? And what’s one thing you’re most nervous about when it comes to pitching? Share in the comments below!

Another excerpt from “Strangers We’ve Become” – A sequel to ‘What Sets Us Apart’

It was the first time in almost a week that I made the short walk to the cafe alone.  It was early, and the chill of the morning was still in the air.  In summer, it was the best time of the day.  When Susan came with me, it was usually much later, when the day was much warmer and less tolerable.

On the morning of the third day of her visit, Susan said she was missing the hustle and bustle of London, and by the end of the fourth she said, in not so many words, she was over being away from ‘civilisation’.  This was a side of her I had not seen before, and it surprised me.

She hadn’t complained, but it was making her irritable.  The Susan that morning was vastly different to the Susan on the first day.  So much, I thought, for her wanting to ‘reconnect’, the word she had used as the reason for coming to Greve unannounced.

It was also the first morning I had time to reflect on her visit and what my feelings were towards her.  It was the reason I’d come to Greve: to soak up the peace and quiet and think about what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

I sat in my usual corner.  Maria, one of two waitresses, came out, stopped, and there was no mistaking the relief in her manner.  There was an air of tension between Susan and Maria I didn’t understand, and it seemed to emanate from Susan rather than the other way around.  I could understand her attitude if it was towards Alisha, but not Maria.  All she did was serve coffee and cake.

When Maria recovered from the momentary surprise, she said, smiling, “You are by yourself?”  She gave a quick glance in the direction of my villa, just to be sure.

“I am this morning.  I’m afraid the heat, for one who is not used to it, can be quite debilitating.  I’m also afraid it has had a bad effect on her manners, for which I apologise.  I cannot explain why she has been so rude to you.”

“You do not have to apologise for her, David, but it is of no consequence to me.  I have had a lot worse.  I think she is simply jealous.”

It had crossed my mind, but there was no reason for her to be.  “Why?”

“She is a woman, I am a woman, she thinks because you and I are friends, there is something between us.”

It made sense, even if it was not true.  “Perhaps if I explained…”

Maria shook her head.  “If there is a hole in the boat, you should not keep bailing but try to plug the hole.  My grandfather had many expressions, David.  If I may give you one piece of advice, as much as it is none of my business, you need to make your feelings known, and if they are not as they once were, and I think they are not, you need to tell her.  Before she goes home.”

Interesting advice.  Not only a purveyor of excellent coffee, but Maria was also a psychiatrist who had astutely worked out my dilemma.  What was that expression, ‘not just a pretty face’?

“Is she leaving soon?” I asked, thinking Maria knew more about Susan’s movements than I did.

“You would disappoint me if you had not suspected as much.  Susan was having coffee and talking to someone in her office on a cell phone.  It was an intense conversation.  I should not eavesdrop, but she said being here was like being stuck in hell.  It is a pity she does not share your love for our little piece of paradise, is it not?”

“It is indeed.  And you’re right.  She said she didn’t have a phone, but I know she has one.  She just doesn’t value the idea of getting away from the office.  Perhaps her role doesn’t afford her that luxury.”

And perhaps Alisha was right about Maria, that I should be more careful.  She had liked Maria the moment she saw her.  We had sat at this very table, the first day I arrived.  I would have travelled alone, but Prendergast, my old boss, liked to know where ex-employees of the Department were, and what they were doing.

She sighed.  “I am glad I am just a waitress.  Your usual coffee and cake?”

“Yes, please.”

Several months had passed since we had rescued Susan from her despotic father; she had recovered faster than we had thought, and settled into her role as the new Lady Featherington, though she preferred not to use that title, but go by the name of Lady Susan Cheney.

I didn’t get to be a Lord, or have any title, not that I was expecting one.  What I had expected was that Susan, once she found her footing as head of what seemed to be a commercial empire, would not have time for details like husbands, particularly when our agreement made before the wedding gave either of us the right to end it.

There was a moment when I visited her recovering in the hospital, where I was going to give her the out, but I didn’t, and she had not invoked it.  We were still married, just not living together.

This visit was one where she wanted to ‘reconnect’ as she called it, and invite me to come home with her.  She saw no reason why we could not resume our relationship, conveniently forgetting she indirectly had me arrested for her murder, charges both her mother and Lucy vigorously pursued, and had the clone not returned to save me, I might still be in jail.

It was not something I would forgive or forget any time soon.

There were other reasons why I was reluctant to stay with her, like forgetting small details, an irregularity in her character I found odd.  She looked the same, she sounded the same, she basically acted the same, but my mind was telling me something was not right.  It was not the Susan I first met, even allowing for the ordeal she had been subjected to.

But, despite those misgivings, there was no question in my mind that I still loved her, and her clandestine arrival had brought back all those feelings.  But as the days passed, I began to get the impression my feelings were one-sided and she was just going through the motions.

Which brought me to the last argument, earlier, where I said if I went with her, it would be business meetings, social obligations, and quite simply her ‘celebrity’ status that would keep us apart.  I reminded her that I had said from the outset I didn’t like the idea of being in the spotlight, and when I reiterated it, she simply brushed it off as just part of the job, adding rather strangely that I always looked good in a suit.  The flippancy of that comment was the last straw, and I left before I said something I would regret.

I knew I was not a priority.  Maybe somewhere inside me, I had wanted to be a priority, and I was disappointed when I was not.

And finally, there was Alisha.  Susan, at the height of the argument, had intimated she believed I had an affair with her, but that elephant was always in the room whenever Alisha was around.  It was no surprise when I learned Susan had asked Prendergast to reassign her to other duties. 

At least I knew what my feelings for Alisha were, and there were times when I had to remember she was persona non grata.  Perhaps that was why Susan had her banished, but, again, a small detail; jealousy was not one of Susan’s traits when I first knew her.

Perhaps it was time to set Susan free.

When I swung around to look in the direction of the lane where my villa was, I saw Susan.  She was formally dressed, not in her ‘tourist’ clothes, which she had bought from one of the local clothing stores.  We had fun that day, shopping for clothes, a chore I’d always hated.  It had been followed by a leisurely lunch, lots of wine and soul searching.

It was the reason why I sat in this corner; old habits die hard.  I could see trouble coming from all directions, not that Susan was trouble or at least I hoped not, but it allowed me the time to watch her walking towards the cafe in what appeared to be short, angry steps; perhaps the culmination of the heat wave and our last argument.

She glared at me as she sat, dropping her bag beside her on the ground, where I could see the cell phone sitting on top.  She followed my glance down, and then she looked unrepentant back at me.

Maria came back at the exact moment she was going to speak.  I noticed Maria hesitate for a second when she saw Susan, then put her smile in place to deliver my coffee.

Neither spoke nor looked at each other.  I said, “Susan will have what I’m having, thanks.”

Maria nodded and left.

“Now,” I said, leaning back in my seat, “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation as to why you didn’t tell me about the phone, but that first time you disappeared, I’d guessed you needed to keep in touch with your business interests.  I thought it somewhat unwisethat you should come out when the board of one of your companies was trying to remove you, because of what was it, an unexplained absence?  All you had to do was tell me there were problems and you needed to remain at home to resolve them.”

My comment elicited a sideways look, with a touch of surprise.

“It was unfortunate timing on their behalf, and I didn’t want you to think everything else was more important than us.  There were issues before I came, and I thought the people at home would be able to manage without me for at least a week, but I was wrong.”

“Why come at all.  A phone call would have sufficed.”

“I had to see you, talk to you.  At least we have had a chance to do that.  I’m sorry about yesterday.  I once told you I would not become my mother, but I’m afraid I sounded just like her.  I misjudged just how much this role would affect me, and truly, I’m sorry.”

An apology was the last thing I expected.

“You have a lot of work to do catching up after being away, and of course, in replacing your mother and gaining the requisite respect as the new Lady Featherington.  I think it would be for the best if I were not another distraction.  We have plenty of time to reacquaint ourselves when you get past all these teething issues.”

“You’re not coming with me?”  She sounded disappointed.

“I think it would be for the best if I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“It should come as no surprise to you that I’ve been keeping an eye on your progress.  You are so much better doing your job without me.  I told your mother once that when the time came I would not like the responsibilities of being your husband.  Now that I have seen what it could possibly entail, I like it even less.  You might also want to reconsider our arrangement, after all, we only had a marriage of convenience, and now that those obligations have been fulfilled, we both have the option of terminating it.  I won’t make things difficult for you if that’s what you want.”

It was yet another anomaly, I thought; she should look distressed, and I would raise the matter of that arrangement.  Perhaps she had forgotten the finer points.  I, on the other hand, had always known we would not last forever.  The perplexed expression, to me, was a sign she might have forgotten.

Then, her expression changed.  “Is that what you want?”

“I wasn’t madly in love with you when we made that arrangement, so it was easy to agree to your terms, but inexplicably, since then, my feelings for you changed, and I would be sad if we parted ways.  But the truth is, I can’t see how this is going to work.”

“In saying that, do you think I don’t care for you?”

That was exactly what I was thinking, but I wasn’t going to voice that opinion out loud.  “You spent a lot of time finding new ways to make my life miserable, Susan.  You and that wretched friend of yours, Lucy.  While your attitude improved after we were married, that was because you were going to use me when you went to see your father, and then almost let me go to prison for your murder.”

“I had nothing to do with that, other than to leave, and I didn’t agree with Lucy that you should be made responsible for my disappearance.  I cannot be held responsible for the actions of my mother.  She hated you; Lucy didn’t understand you, and Millie told me I was stupid for not loving you in return, and she was right.  Why do you think I gave you such a hard time?  You made it impossible not to fall in love with you, and it nearly changed my mind about everything I’d been planning so meticulously.  But perhaps there was a more subliminal reason why I did because after I left, I wanted to believe, if anything went wrong, you would come and find me.”

“How could you possibly know that I’d even consider doing something like that, given what you knew about me?”

“Prendergast made a passing comment when my mother asked him about you; he told us you were very good at finding people and even better at fixing problems.”

“And yet here we are, one argument away from ending it.”

I could see Maria hovering, waiting for the right moment to deliver her coffee, then go back and find Gianna, the café owner, instead.  Gianna was more abrupt and, for that reason, was rarely seen serving the customers.  Today, she was particularly cantankerous, banging the cake dish on the table and frowning at Susan before returning to her kitchen.  Gianna didn’t like Susan either.

Behind me, I heard a car stop, and when she looked up, I knew it was for her.  She had arrived with nothing, and she was leaving with nothing.

She stood.  “Last chance.”

“Forever?”

She hesitated and then shook away the look of annoyance on her face.  “Of course not.  I wanted you to come back with me so we could continue working on our relationship.  I agree there are problems, but it’s nothing we can’t resolve if we try.”

I had been trying.  “It’s too soon for both of us, Susan.  I need to be able to trust you, and given the circumstances, and all that water under the bridge, I’m not sure if I can yet.”

She frowned at me.  “As you wish.”  She took an envelope out of her bag and put it on the table.  “When you are ready, it’s an open ticket home.  Please make it sooner rather than later.  Despite what you think of me, I have missed you, and I have no intention of ending it between us.”

That said, she glared at me for a minute, shook her head, then walked to the car.  I watched her get in and the car drive slowly away.

No kiss, no touch, no looking back. 

© Charles Heath 2018-2025

strangerscover9

A long short story that can’t be tamed – I always wanted to rescue a damsel in distress – 6

Six

I was about to tell Emily not to open the door but for some reason, I simply stood there unable to do anything.  It was not shock or fear, but a hesitation.

Emily looked at me, perhaps for approval, then looked through the peephole in the door.

“Who is it,” I asked, finally finding a voice.

“I can’t see him clearly but it looks like the man in the pin-striped suit, that chap who got in the elevator with us.”

Why wasn’t I surprised.

“What should I do?” she asked when I hadn’t said anything.

I was not sure what to think, but from first appearances, he didn’t look like an assassin, or very dangerous, but what did I know about assassins?  Or dangerous people?  “Let me answer the door.  You stand just out of sight until we find out his intentions.”

“You don’t think…”

“I’m trying not to think right now, but please, just stand out of sight of the door, and have your phone set to call emergency, just in case.”

Another knock on the door, not impatient but nonetheless insistent, motivated her to do as I’d asked, and I took her place at the door.  When she was in place, I took a deep breath, exhaled, and then opened the door.

It was, indeed, the man from the elevator.  I decided attack was the best form of defence.  “You were in the elevator.  Give me one reason why you couldn’t speak to us then?”  It came out exactly as I’d intended, a harsh tone from someone who was annoyed.

“Forgive me, but I wasn’t sure that I had the right person.” A placatory tone.

“How did you know what room to come to?”  He hadn’t followed us, or at least I didn’t think so, but he could have discreetly kept an eye on us.

“I was told you would be here.”

“By whom?”  The only person who knew we would be here was Cecile, though she could not know when.

“Your friend said you would be here.”

“Which friend?”

I could see that he was now getting impatient, his expression changing from genial to annoyance. 

“We should not be discussing this in the hotel corridor.”

“Perhaps not, but I don’t trust you, and until you tell me what this is about, the hotel corridor is where you’re staying.  I’ll ask again, which friend?”

“Cecile Battersby of course.”

Right name, but it could still be a bluff.  Her name would be in the hotel computer system, information that could be bought by a clever adversary.

“Describe her.”

“Alas, I have not met her.  I have been sent as an intermediary.  This is a rather delicate matter, and not one that I wish to discuss in the hotel corridor.”

“Then I suggest you call me when you are in the open in plain view with other people place, but it will not be here, in this room until I’m satisfied I can trust you.”

I could tell by his expression it was not the answer he was looking for.

He took out his cell phone.  “I assure you, you are in no danger from me, but if you insist.”

I gave him my number and he put it into his phone.

“You will be hearing from me soon.  Let’s hope she does not suffer because of this.”

With that cryptic remark, he left, and I closed the door.

“What do you think he meant by saying she might suffer?  Suffer what?”

“It’s just a means to try and scare us into doing something we might regret.  We have no idea who he was, or what he wanted, and I was certainly not going to let him into the room.  I’m sure we’ll soon find out.”

He might have been a public servant.  Don’t they wear pin-striped suits and carry umbrellas?

A stereotype, I thought, that everyone had of the British, but this one was lacking the third element, a bowler hat.

“Let’s wait and see.  But, in the meantime, since whoever he represents knows where we are, let’s get out of here, just in case.”

Her face registered the exact same fear level I was feeling. 

Once again, I found myself asking the impossible question, what had she got herself mixed up in?

I looked through the peep hole and saw that our section of the passage was clear.  I was taking a gamble that he’d left, and if the coast was clear, we would be leaving via the fire escape, just in case he had the elevators monitored.

I opened the door and looked up and down the corridor.  Clear.

To Emily, I said, “Let’s go.”

©  Charles Heath  2024

Writing a book in 365 days – 219

Day 219

Do you have a compelling need to write?

Some people would like to write.

Some have a genuine writing talent.

Then there is the rest of us, those who need to write.

Morning, noon, night, very late at night, on scraps of paper, on cafe napkins, in notebooks, on note apps on the phone, there is this very strange compulsion to get words on paper.

I feel it, it’s like a bug.

It’s like being in the shower and an idea hits you, when you try to think of what is going to happen next and can’t. You’re sitting there, pen in hand, gingers hovering over the keyboard, waiting, waiting, for that inspiration, and there’s nothing.

Don’t you just hate it?

All the time in the world. The writing room is sitting there, waiting for you. The cat, or the dog, has settled down on the floor and is pretending to sleep, like they know you need this moment to get the next plot line.

And dammit, nothing comes. It’s a complete blank.

You’re thinking of that motorbike screaming up the road, or the car whose gearbox is going to explode if they don’t change into second or third, or the rubbish truck is collecting the rubbish, or two people are walking past your window, talking loudly about some obscure subject.

You strain to hear, and then think someone is rummaging up the other end of the house, and, easily distracted, go and find the cat has slunk away and is playing with your slippers.

Or the dog is tearing them apart.

Damn.

Then, finally giving up, go and have a shower, and under that soothing, water massaging head, the relaxation of the mind suddenly pops an idea into your head.

If only I had waterproof paper.

Writing a book in 365 days – 219

Day 219

Do you have a compelling need to write?

Some people would like to write.

Some have a genuine writing talent.

Then there is the rest of us, those who need to write.

Morning, noon, night, very late at night, on scraps of paper, on cafe napkins, in notebooks, on note apps on the phone, there is this very strange compulsion to get words on paper.

I feel it, it’s like a bug.

It’s like being in the shower and an idea hits you, when you try to think of what is going to happen next and can’t. You’re sitting there, pen in hand, gingers hovering over the keyboard, waiting, waiting, for that inspiration, and there’s nothing.

Don’t you just hate it?

All the time in the world. The writing room is sitting there, waiting for you. The cat, or the dog, has settled down on the floor and is pretending to sleep, like they know you need this moment to get the next plot line.

And dammit, nothing comes. It’s a complete blank.

You’re thinking of that motorbike screaming up the road, or the car whose gearbox is going to explode if they don’t change into second or third, or the rubbish truck is collecting the rubbish, or two people are walking past your window, talking loudly about some obscure subject.

You strain to hear, and then think someone is rummaging up the other end of the house, and, easily distracted, go and find the cat has slunk away and is playing with your slippers.

Or the dog is tearing them apart.

Damn.

Then, finally giving up, go and have a shower, and under that soothing, water massaging head, the relaxation of the mind suddenly pops an idea into your head.

If only I had waterproof paper.

A long short story that can’t be tamed – I always wanted to rescue a damsel in distress – 5

Five

Five minutes, and a backlog of customers, a new clerk, her name tag ‘Betty’, arrived and began processing the others.  I could see behind me, the Concierge pick up the phone and while listening, he was looking directly at me.

When he hung up, he disappeared into a back room, and when he returned there was another man with him, one that looked like a plain clothes detective, and as they were talking, they were looking at us.

Two suspicious people turn up with no luggage.  It was still at the airport, I’d intended to have it delivered to Cecile’s flat, but it was clear we would not be able to stay there.  Should I go over and ask him to arrange for its delivery?

I was about to go over to him when Wendy reappeared with an envelope in her hand.

She passed it across the counter.  “This was left for you two days ago.  We also have a reservation in your name.  I assume you are here to check-in?”

I looked at Emily and she nodded.

I turned back to Wendy.  “Yes.” 

Knowing how check-in worked and having to prepay for the room, I was pulling out my credit card to pay, hoping it wasn’t going to cost a small fortune.

Wendy saw me, and said, “The room has been paid for a week, sir.  It’s next to your friend’s room.”  I saw her process two keys, and then handed them to me.  “I trust you will enjoy your stay.”

I put the envelope in my pocket, and we crossed to the elevator lobby.

While we were waiting for the elevator, Emily said, “She was anticipating your arrival.”

“More likely hoping I would come.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your sister and I had a falling out before she left to come here.  We were supposed to get through the internship at the company before making a decision of what would happen next.  I had thought we might get married, but she didn’t quite want what I thought we both wanted.  It’s basically the reason why she came here.  It’s also the reason she found someone else, I suspect.  I refused to come over and join her.”

“When was this?”

“Three months ago.  I’m sorry but I didn’t tell anyone.  I was still coming to grips with having my hopes dashed.”

The lift doors opened in front of us, and three people stepped out, one of who gave me what I thought was a curious look.  The elevator empty we stepped in and I pressed the floor button.  The doors almost closed when an umbrella end was thrust in, causing the doors to reopen.  A man in a pinstripe suit and bowler hat stepped in.

“Sorry, thought it was empty.”

The doors closed.  He didn’t press any button so I assumed he was going up to the same floor as us.  He had what looked to be a key in his hand, so was another guest.

It didn’t stop my imagination working overtime.  I gave Emily the ‘don’t talk’ look hoping she understood what I meant.

The elevator jerked to a stop and the doors rattled open.  The man with the umbrella dashed out and turned left, striding purposefully up the passage.  We stepped out and checked to see which way the room was.  The opposite direction, thankfully.

Emily didn’t say another word, but for the length of the passage, until we reached the room, she looked over her shoulder several times, perhaps looking for the man in the pin-striped suit.

I used the key to open the door, ushered Emily in, and then looked up and down the passage to see if anyone was about, then stepped in and let the door close.

“What was that about?” she asked.

“Did it strike you as odd that he waits until the last second to get in the elevator?”

“Probably a man in a hurry.  Are you going to be suspicious of everyone?”

“Until I know what’s going on, yes.”

There was nothing in the room.  Smallish, twin beds, an expensive mini bar, and towels and toiletries for two.  And it was quite warm.  Like most old places, the warmth came from a hot water radiator underneath a fading painting of rural England.

Everything looked as though it was as old as the hotel itself.  I thought I could detect the aroma of metal and wood polish.

I pulled the envelope out of my pocket and sat on the end of the bed.  On the front, it said ‘to be hand-delivered to [name]’ in Cecile’s writing.  Clue number two in what was beginning to look like a treasure hunt.

“James,

Well, if you’re reading this, it means matters have gone from bad to worse, not that I thought they could.  Enclosed is a card with Jake’s last known address on it.  I had a choice of two and went to the other.  I suggest you start there and find Jake.  He will know where I am.

Cee”

Emily looked at me.  She had read the note over my shoulder.  “Seems we have a mission, shall we go?”

It was that precise moment there was a knock on the door.  Not a friendly knock from room service or housekeeping, a knock that had trouble behind it.

I looked around the room, not sure why I was doing it, because there was no escape hatch, nor would we be going out the window.

As my eyes returned to the door, Emily was already there, hand on the handle.  It was too late to say no.

©  Charles Heath  2024

Writing a book in 365 days – 218

Day 218

A book I started to write but have not finished

I get ideas all the time, and sometimes they spark a flurry of writing.

A few years back, I was reading about a man who had split from his wife over creative differences. She was the one who had created a business out of an idea, turned it into a raging success and a huge money spinner, but with the fame and the fortune, she changed, but he did not.

And it became a problem so huge that he had to leave. There was a kicker in the tale, that after he left, she failed to tell him he was the father of twins.

Then, some fifteen or so years later, she dies and leaves the whole business and children to him, an eventuality he learns when a solicitor finally tracks him down in a hotel bar (of all places).

And in my usual, hey, that’s a good idea, I started writing.

It had a feel-good feeling attached to it, and I actually wrote several chapters, mostly about learning about what had happened from the time he left until the time when her father, whom she had fought tooth and nail to keep the business away from him, had all but taken it off her.

Then there were the children, spoiled, neglected, and recalcitrant. Getting sent home from boarding school for endless refractions, and getting into trouble simply because of their high-profile mother.

But, like all stories that are written without a proper plan, they stagger along, peter out, get revived and then end up in a box with a dozen or so others under a label, I’ll be back one day.

But this one niggles at me more than the others, and recently, thinking that starting it from the moment after she died, I would chart it from the first moment she got sick until the day she died, and got most of that done.

That then prompted the idea of writing a third part, that after regaining the business and getting it back on her track, sorting the children out by having them have to do a rather selective rehabilitation, he investigates the death and finds out who killed her, if it was murder.

This part, of course, would have a plan.

As soon as I get the time.

Writing a book in 365 days – 218

Day 218

A book I started to write but have not finished

I get ideas all the time, and sometimes they spark a flurry of writing.

A few years back, I was reading about a man who had split from his wife over creative differences. She was the one who had created a business out of an idea, turned it into a raging success and a huge money spinner, but with the fame and the fortune, she changed, but he did not.

And it became a problem so huge that he had to leave. There was a kicker in the tale, that after he left, she failed to tell him he was the father of twins.

Then, some fifteen or so years later, she dies and leaves the whole business and children to him, an eventuality he learns when a solicitor finally tracks him down in a hotel bar (of all places).

And in my usual, hey, that’s a good idea, I started writing.

It had a feel-good feeling attached to it, and I actually wrote several chapters, mostly about learning about what had happened from the time he left until the time when her father, whom she had fought tooth and nail to keep the business away from him, had all but taken it off her.

Then there were the children, spoiled, neglected, and recalcitrant. Getting sent home from boarding school for endless refractions, and getting into trouble simply because of their high-profile mother.

But, like all stories that are written without a proper plan, they stagger along, peter out, get revived and then end up in a box with a dozen or so others under a label, I’ll be back one day.

But this one niggles at me more than the others, and recently, thinking that starting it from the moment after she died, I would chart it from the first moment she got sick until the day she died, and got most of that done.

That then prompted the idea of writing a third part, that after regaining the business and getting it back on her track, sorting the children out by having them have to do a rather selective rehabilitation, he investigates the death and finds out who killed her, if it was murder.

This part, of course, would have a plan.

As soon as I get the time.

A long short story that can’t be tamed – I always wanted to rescue a damsel in distress – 4

Four

I’d been to London before, not with Cecile, but with my parents on a graduation present at the end of school.  My father had called it a mission to see how the other half live, and why, in his opinion, our country didn’t need a Queen to be our head of state.

A Republican, not a royalist.  But it had done little to change my opinion, simply because it didn’t matter to me who ran the country; all positions of any colour were equally as useless.

But I remembered the trek over London, seeing the Horse Guards, Number 10 Downing Street, the Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, and Buckingham Palace.  A whirlwind of ancient buildings that had been in existence long before our country was discovered.

A little of that sense of awe I had then came back when passing by Trafalgar Square and heading down Whitehall as far as Whitehall Place.

If we were not on a mission, I would have liked to spend more time exploring because the last time had been so quick and disjointed.  My father had not been one for being a tourist.  Neither, apparently, was Emily.

In sight of the hotel, I felt a shiver go down my spine, either a sign of the cold weather or there was something wrong.

I stopped suddenly and turned.  Emily nearly crashed into me, eliciting a grunt between disapproval and annoyance.  “What is the matter with you?”

She turned also to see what had caught my interest.  She was too late, but I hadn’t.  Two people, what looked to be a man and a woman, had almost managed to blend into the background, but not before I caught a glimpse of them.

They were familiar in the sense that I could swear I’d already seen them before, way back at Trafalgar Square, trying to act like tourists, which was what caught my attention.

“There’s nothing there, you’re jumping at shadows.”

I still kept an eye on that direction, waiting to see if they showed themselves.  They didn’t, but that didn’t mean they were not there.  And if they were following is, I was leading them to the hotel, where if we discovered nothing, they no doubt had the resources that could.

Better I didn’t lead them there.

“Believe it or not, there are two people following us, and I’m not going to lead them to the hotel.  We are going past it and onto the gardens, then along the riverside to the Houses of Parliament if we have to, to lose them.”.

It took a combination of the cold weather and luck to shake off the people following us.

In fact, by the time I realised they were no longer there, I had begun to believe it was just a case of nerves and imagination.

We’d walked quite a distance up the Embankment, almost to Westminster Abbey, before coming back down Whitehall.  Even with snow lightly falling, there were the intrepid tourists vying to get their photos taken with the Horse Guards standing on guard duty.

It was not a job I could do in all sorts of weather, but standing still on a day that is cold, snowing, or worse, raining, would be debilitating, if not impossible.

Emily had not said very much while we dodged and weaved, and, to her, it must have seemed comical.  And after I said I thought we were in the clear, she said, “Are you sure you’re not suffering from an overactive imagination?”

At that moment, in the middle of Whitehall with the snow coming down, her comment seemed valid.  “That’s quite likely, but I honestly thought I saw someone, possibly two people more than once.”

“There are a lot of people out and about, so seeing them more than once doesn’t necessarily mean they’re following us.”

True, but it was better to be safe than sorry.  And I had a very bad feeling we were going to run into them again.  Whatever Cecile had done, it had to be serious if she was trying this hard not to be found.

It didn’t take long, after walking a brisk pace in the cold, spurred on by the fact the snow was falling more densely, and it was getting harder to see anything through the white shroud before we reached the hotel again.  I checked again, waiting a minute or two, just to make sure we’d got away from them before escorting Emily through the door.

Once inside, after shaking off the snow, it was considerably warmer.  I notice then my hands had begun to freeze, and stepping back into warmth caused a tingling sensation through them.  Another hour and they’d be ice blocks.

We took off our coats and went over to the reception counter.

The check-in clerk with the name tag ‘Wendy’, hung up the phone, the call she was on completed, then turned her attention to us.

“How may I help you?”

“I’m hoping you have a guest here named Cecile Robinson.  She would have checked in four days ago.  My name is James Bentley, and she was expecting me.”

Wendy typed the name into the computer.  It took about a minute before her expression changed, possibly indicating she’d found something.

“I’ll be just a moment.”

Without waiting for my response as she went through a door almost behind her, into an office of sorts.  I could see two people in there just before the door closed.

The reception desk manager or security.

I just hoped she wasn’t calling the police.

©  Charles Heath  2024

Writing a book in 365 days – 217

Day 217

Writing exercise

“Everything that happened in that house was a catastrophe”

Sitting around the table in the lawyers’ conference room were seven very eager faces, and, at the other end, opposite Blanding, my parents’ lawyer.

It was time for the reading of the will.

The seven seated at the other end were, in age order, eldest to youngest: Jacob, John, Jesse, Julian, Judy, Jessica, and Jennifer.

I was named Ferdinand.  Yes, that apparently was a name, but I usually used my middle name of Aloysius, or more often than not, the short form, Al.

There was a reason why I was sitting away from the others.  Technically, I was not a brother, but the only child of my stepfather’s brother, adopted by him after my parents died a year after I was born.

It had remained a well-kept secret until the day my stepmother, who died a few hours earlier than my stepfather, was conscious long enough to tell the eldest son of my adoption.

From that moment, I became persona non grata with nearly all the other siblings. It went from thirty-five years of harmonious sibling rivalry to me instantly becoming an outcast.  I don’t think it was what the mother had intended, but then she hadn’t realised just how greedy and insecure her children were.

I had, though it had taken time.  The two eldest boys thought I was different, not just the fact that my name didn’t start with a j, but the fact that I had red hair and that I had slightly different characteristics.

While the parents were alive, no one really questioned it.  After they died and there was a fortune at stake, it came down to being one less to divvy up the pot of gold.

But here’s the thing.  None but one, Jennifer and I stayed to look after them in their home when neither could look after each other or themselves.  The others left home as soon as they could and only came back for handouts to save them from their stupidity.

For them, the memories of what happened in that house were a stark reminder of everything they should have become.  They had been given every opportunity, but none seemed to like the idea of having to work for it.

Jennifer and I both got the intended message and understood.  I remember the number of times the father had said, if only the others had been like Al.  He made a point of it.  The others blamed me when the father started rejecting their demands for assistance, saying that I had made their lives impossible.  Nothing in that house, as far as they were concerned, had led anywhere for any of them except to catastrophe.

In turn, I never understood them.  From a very young age, they all believed they would be looked after, that why they should not work or try to make their mark when, in the end, there would be a fortune waiting for each of them.

Or perhaps I did.  Their parents spoiled and indulged all of them.  Not me.  Perhaps that was the indication I should have seen that I was not really one of them.  The father never gave me anything, often telling me that he expected me to make something of myself, as his brother had.

I never understood what he had meant by that until the mother’s revelation.  Then everything made sense.

More than one he had said, privately to me, that I was not one of them, that I did not have to be like them, that they, meaning the eldest two boys, would never amount to anything.

He was right.

But it was his fault they turned out that way.  His and their mother.

Now, a greater catastrophe was likely to befall them if the father had carried out his threat to cut them all off.

I was there when he told them they had six months to turn their lives around, during which time they would not be getting their usual allowances.

As far as he was concerned, it was time for all of them to sort themselves out.  His ultimatum had been met with stunned silence and disbelief.  I don’t think any of them had considered the well might run dry.

The fact the parents died in an accident did raise a few questions in my mind, so soon after the ultimatum, and the thought, however unbelievable or insidious, was whether one of them, or all of them together, had ‘arranged’ for their deaths.

Jennifer was more inclined to believe they had.  None had a story that would stand deeper probing. Each was vouching for the others, alibis were shaky, and as far as she was concerned, the police had closed the case too quickly.  As far as they were concerned, it was an accident.

I looked at Blanding and caught his eye.  He had his inscrutable face on.  It was time to begin

“Right,” he said after clearing his throat.  “Shall we start?”

He looked around the table at all the expectant faces.  No one could tell whether he was about to deliver good news or bad.  Even I didn’t know.

All I had was a phone call from the lawyer’s office, a request to be there. The others tried to have me excluded, but Blanding would have none of it.  He simply told them that the reading could only progress if all eight of us attended, an explicit condition stipulated by both parents.

The room went silent.

“Now that the investigation into the untimely deaths of your parents has been concluded and a result of death by misadventure recorded, the will can now be read.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that any benefits will automatically be payable after this reading.  There are formalities, and these will take time.”

Eldest son:  “How much time?”

“As long as it takes.”  That was it.  No more.  Blanding took the will document out of the folder in front of him and removed the first page.  The good stuff presumably started on the next.

The eldest son was going to ask another question but then decided against it.  I got the impression he was kicked in the shin under the table.

Blanding continued.  “Your mother’s will has been read and wishes executed.  She died before your father, and her wish was for everything to go to her husband and several annuities for friends.  She never thought of her domestics as servants but friends.”

Eldest son:  “But she didn’t leave anything directly to any of us, not even the girls.”

“No.  Her intention was always to leave it to your father.  Had she, in fact, survived him, there was a small lump sum payment of approximately a thousand pounds each and the annuities.”

“What about the estate, the holiday houses, the apartments overseas?”

Yes, the eldest son had been doing his homework, listing all the places we went to, not realising that the property portfolio was largely smoke and mirrors.  I discovered the true nature of what they owned and what they rented, and it didn’t surprise me.

The father had been very clever to hide the fact that they were not as wealthy as most people believed, and having ready cash to give the children meant a gradual depletion of assets over time.

Being who they were didn’t mean they were filthy rich. The trick their father had told me once is to appear rich without anyone guessing what your true financial situation is.

Blanding put down the document and took off his glasses.  I thought he was going to massage his forehead like a person trying the assuage the pain of an oncoming headache.

Maybe he had one already.

He massaged the bridge of his nose. Maybe the glasses were new and weren’t sitting right.

Then he looked at Jacob.  “I’m sure you’ve been compiling a list of everything you believe should be in the estate.  Did you think to also compile a list of the sums of money you borrowed from your father?”

“Borrow?” Jacob’s expression changed.  “We did nothing of the sort.  He gave us…”

He stopped abruptly when he heard, rather than watched, a thick folder land on the desk with a thud, perhaps more for effect than emphasis.

“Every time your father loaned each of you money, you had to sign a document to say that at the end of a specific period, you would either repay the loan in full or start paying the interest.  I daresay you didn’t read the fine print or look at or listen to anything but simply thought your father would never expect anything in return.  So, back to my original question, did you compile a list of all your borrowings?”

“Of course, we didn’t.  Are you stupid?  The man is dead. There’s no one to pay it back to.”  John had the logic all worked out.

“Well, there’s the thing.  It became repayable when he died.  It’s stated very clearly in the documents, very legal documents, I might add.  But just for the sake of clarity, the aggregate sums borrowed by each child are: Jacob, 18 million, John, 9 million, Jesse, 6 million, Julian, 4 million, Judy, 15 million, Jessica, 7 million, Jennifer, zero, and Al, zero.  That’s close to 60 million pounds.  Where do you think that lot came from?”

The siblings were looking at each other but mistake at Jacob and Judy.  I thought I heard a muttered “What the hell did you do with 18 million, Jacob?”  If they asked me, if would tell them.  Gambling.

“The old man was loaded.  Inherited wealth, he said.”

“I’m sure he said a lot of things to which you chose not to hear.  Giving you all you asked for over the years cost a lot, so much so, he was forced to sell all of the properties, including, in the end, the manor house.  There wasn’t much in the rest, the paintings of forebears were worthless, the furniture and fittings all very old but not worth a fortune old. The manor house has been given to the new owner, who was gracious enough to allow your parents to remain in it, rented free, until they decided to move on.  It was always going to revert back to him.  So, scratch any property off your list of assets.”

“Cash, shares, bonds?”  The confidence in the tone before had gone as the realisation of what had happened sank in.

It would be long before the others turned on Jacob and Judy, even though all of them together caused the problem.

“You know the answer to that question, Jacob,” I said

He turned to me.  I could feel the hostility.  “How come you didn’t get anything.  Bet he knew you weren’t one of us and was never going to give you a penny.”

Jennifer rounded on him.  “Like me, he didn’t seek to burden your father because staying home and looking after him, we knew exactly what the financial situation was.  You all should be ashamed of yourselves.”

Jacob jumped to his feet.  “If that’s all?”

“There is the matter of repayment of the loans.”

Jacob laughed.  “Good luck with that old man.”  Then he left.  The others quickly followed him out the door.

Blanding sighed.  “Well, that went better than I thought it would.”

“Were you serious about the loans?” I asked.

“Your father was. We could take them all to court, but they don’t have anything, so it would be a meaningless exercise.  But at least they have no more opportunity to get anything more.  They have to make their own way now.  But, now for the rest of the will.”

“I thought all that was left was the three thousand odd pounds,” Jennifer said.

“After the sales of a few bongs we found in the bottom drawer of your father’s desk.  No, that’s what your father left you two.  He was very glad you stayed to help.  Both of them were.  It was always his intention to leave the manor house to you, and the proceeds from the sale of a half dozen paintings that used to hang in the Paris apartment, about 40 million pounds.  He set up trust funds for the two of you, so you have somewhere to live, and enough to keep you going.”

“And if the others find out?”

“They can contest it, even get a slice of the proceeds, but the estate has first lien on the money in repayment of their debts, and the proceeds would barely cover the repayments.  No.  There’s no point, and no legal firm would take the case.  Now go and enjoy it.” 

He put two sets of keys to the manor house on the table, the same two we’d given him when we arrived.

We shook his hand, and he left the room.  I may have been mistaken, but I think he had a smile on his face.  Jennifer was looking down the street, and I joined her.  Both of us saw the six other siblings exit onto the street, just as the heavens opened and dumped a heavy shower of rain on them.

“I think,” Jennifer said, “Mum and dad just got the last laugh.”

©   Charles Heath  2025