Tag: Author

Writing about writing a book – Research

Day 25 – Digging deeper into the psyche of both the protagonist and his friend, both seemingly casualties of the war, one disassociative, the other having buried relevant memories that are connected to his current circumstances.

We’ll start with the protagonist, and how he got to this point, and this research I should have done a while back, and had to a certain extent, but this now clarifies, at least in my min,d why he is this way now

…

The Unburial of Nightmares: Neurobiological Catastrophe, Iatrogenic Retrieval, and the Crisis of Post-Dissociative Stability

Abstract

This paper explores a specific, highly acute mechanism of traumatic memory retrieval: the sudden unearthing of deeply buried, dissociated memories (often termed “repressed memories”) triggered by the synergistic shock of severe physical trauma (e.g., a gunshot wound) and the administration of potent psychoactive analgesics. While the strict concept of Freudian repression remains contested, modern trauma theory utilises the framework of Dissociative Amnesia to explain the compartmentalisation of traumatic data. This extreme retrieval event, characterised by sudden memory flooding, collapses decades of psychological defence, plunging the individual into an acute crisis of identity and reality. The central focus of this analysis is the subsequent psychological effort required—the processes of containment, integration, and therapeutic intervention—necessary for the individual to navigate this catastrophic cognitive shift and regain psychological stability, or “sanity.” We argue that stability is achieved not through re-repression, but through structured, trauma-informed integration that scaffolds the shattered self.

1. Introduction: The Cartography of Buried Memory

The nature of extreme traumatic memory—whether it is actively repressed, poorly encoded, or passively forgotten—has been a central, often contentious, topic in psychology, law, and neuroscience for decades (Loftus & Ketcham, 1994; Van der Kolk, 2014). While forensic debates caution against the spontaneous recovery of “false memories,” clinical literature consistently supports the existence of Dissociative Amnesia (DSM-5), where memories of severe, life-threatening experiences are segmented, unintegrated, and inaccessible to conscious recall due to overwhelming emotional load.

This paper addresses a critical scenario: the sudden, non-volitional retrieval of such dark, previously compartmentalised material. We hypothesise a specific trigger pathway:

  1. Severe Physical Trauma: The overwhelming stressor (e.g., being shot) floods the system with catecholamines, shattering existing coping mechanisms.
  2. Iatrogenic Catalyst: The administration of strong psychoactive drugs (e.g., dissociative anesthetics or potent opioids) alters the neurobiological state, disrupting the usual filtering mechanisms of the prefrontal cortex (PFC), thereby granting access to state-dependent memory fragments.

The resulting memory retrieval is not gradual introspection but a catastrophic memory flood, instantly replacing the current reality with the original trauma. The subsequent challenge is monumental: how can the individual maintain psychological integrity when the foundational structure of their self-narrative collapses?

2. Theoretical Foundations: Dissociation, Encoding, and State-Dependent Retrieval

2.1 The Repression-Dissociation Continuum

The traditional Freudian concept of “repression” implies an active, unconscious defence mechanism pushing unacceptable material out of awareness. In modern trauma psychology, dissociation provides a more precise neurobiological explanation. Dissociation, as described by Pierre Janet and later expanded upon by figures like Bessel van der Kolk (2014), involves the fragmentation of the traumatic experience. Instead of being stored as a coherent autobiographical narrative, the memory is stored as raw sensory fragments (images, smells, somatic sensations) in the primitive brain structures (amygdala). These fragments remain separate from the conscious self-system, resulting in amnesia.

2.2 Neurobiology of Traumatic Encoding

When trauma occurs, the high levels of stress hormones (cortisol, adrenaline) inhibit the hippocampus, the brain structure crucial for dating and contextualising memory. The amygdala, responsible for emotional salience and fear responses, remains highly active. This imbalance ensures the memory is encoded powerfully but fragmentarily—a raw sensory footprint lacking narrative context (LeDoux, 2000). The PFC, the executive control centre responsible for memory retrieval, actively suppresses these fragments to maintain daily functioning. This suppression is the neurobiological “burial.”

2.3 State-Dependent Memory and Pharmacological Triggers

Memories are often tied to the physiological and psychological state in which they were encoded. State-dependent memory suggests that retrieval is easiest when the retrieval state matches the encoding state. The acute trauma-analgesia scenario creates a perfect storm for accessing deep trauma:

  1. High Arousal/Pain State: The initial trauma (getting shot) mimics the extreme stress and life threat of the original trauma, lowering the threshold for retrieval.
  2. Pharmacological Alteration: Drugs, particularly powerful synthetic opioids (e.g., Fentanyl, Morphine) or dissociative anesthetics (e.g., Ketamine), drastically alter consciousness and inhibit the PFC’s filtering function. Ketamine, for instance, acts on NMDA receptors, fundamentally altering sensory and cognitive processing, often leading to profound, non-ordinary states of consciousness where psychological defences are temporarily deactivated (Krystal et al., 1994). This unique, highly altered state acts like a master key, bypassing the long-established neurological firewall and instantly accessing the fragmented traumatic material.

3. The Catastrophic Retrieval: Acute Memory Flooding

When the repressed material is accessed under these extreme conditions, the experience is described clinically as a memory flood or abreaction—a sudden, overwhelming confrontation with the past, entirely divorced from the protective therapeutic setting.

3.1 Collapse of the Self-Structure

The primary consequence of memory flooding is the immediate and profound destabilisation of the individual’s constructed identity. The personality framework may have been built entirely around the absence of this memory. The sudden introduction of dark, overwhelming data challenges the core schemas of safety, self-worth, and reality. The individual experiences acute symptoms of depersonalization (feeling detached from oneself) and derealization (feeling detached from reality), often coupled with flashbacks characterised by full sensorium immersion, believing they are reliving the original horror (Van der Kolk, 2014).

3.2 The Trauma of Retrieval

The retrieval itself becomes a secondary trauma. The individual is simultaneously experiencing:

  1. The acute physical pain and life threat of the present (the gunshot wound).
  2. The terror, pain, and helplessness of the original, long-ago event.
  3. The dissociative confusion is induced by the powerful analgesics.

This confluence creates an acute psychological crisis far exceeding the typical presentation of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), often manifesting as acute, protracted, psychotic-like states or severe fugue episodes. The memory is so dark—so overwhelming in its implications—that the immediate, unconscious imperative is often psychological obliteration or a return to global amnesia.

4. Pathways to Psychological Stability: Navigating the Crisis

The challenge of maintaining “sanity” post-flooding is not one of mere adjustment, but of rebuilding the personality structure from the ground up while simultaneously managing an existential crisis. Stability is achieved through rigorous containment, psychoeducation, and gradual integration.

4.1 Immediate Containment and Stabilisation

In the acute phase (hospital recovery), the priority is stabilisation and grounding, not processing. The individual must be protected from the desire to re-repress or self-harm.

  • Pharmacological Management: Careful titration of analgesics and withdrawal from dissociative agents is critical. Anxiolytics and short-term atypical antipsychotics may be used temporarily to manage acute hyperarousal, paranoia, and fragmented thinking caused by the memory flood.
  • Psychoeducation: The individual must be quickly educated on the neurobiology of trauma and dissociation. Understanding that the memory is an event from the past, rather than a current reality, helps manage the profound sense of fragmentation and shame.
  • Safety and Boundaries: Establishing a secure, predictable environment (both physically and relationally) counteracts the catastrophic loss of control inherent in both the current trauma and the original repressed event.

4.2 Therapeutic Integration: The Necessity of Scaffolding

Psychological recovery requires abandoning the previous life structure built on denial and moving toward integration, a process that is often nonlinear and agonising.

A. Phase-Oriented Treatment

Effective treatment follows Judith Herman’s three-stage model (1992):

  1. Safety and Stabilisation: Focusing on emotional regulation, grounding techniques, and managing daily life before delving into the trauma content.
  2. Remembrance and Mourning: Gradually processing the fragmented memories in a controlled, therapeutic environment (often using techniques like Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing – EMDR or Cognitive Processing Therapy – CPT). This requires confronting the memory without becoming overwhelmed.
  3. Reconnection: Re-engaging with life, finding meaning, and establishing a new, coherent biographical narrative that incorporates the dark event.

B. The Role of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

For individuals experiencing extreme emotional dysregulation and dissociation post-flooding, DBT skills—specifically mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance—are invaluable tools for preventing a relapse into severe destabilisation. These techniques provide the concrete, present-focused skills necessary to contain the constant threat of fragmentation posed by the unearthed memories.

4.3 Resilience and Meaning-Making

Ultimately, “sanity” post-trauma is defined by psychological resilience—the ability to adapt positively to adverse circumstances. For memories so dark they “should have been left there,” the individual must engage in a profound shift toward meaning-making. This often involves:

  • Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG): Finding ways to use the survival of the original event and the subsequent unearthing as a source of strength, greater appreciation for life, or a renewed sense of purpose (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1996).
  • Separation of Self and Event: Recognising that while the terrible event happened to them, it does not define who they are. This requires moving from the victim role to the survivor role, acknowledging the profound suffering without allowing the trauma narrative to consume the present identity.

5. Conclusion

The forced retrieval of deeply dissociated memories via acute trauma and pharmacological intervention represents a complex neurobiological catastrophe. The resulting memory flood instantly dismantles the individual’s long-standing defences, forcing a confrontation with overwhelming darkness. Maintaining psychological stability in this landscape requires rigorous, phase-oriented trauma therapy centred on containment, psychoeducation, and the gradual integration of the fragmented self.

The individual keeps sane not by successfully burying the memories again, but by utilising therapeutic scaffolding to build a new self-structure robust enough to hold the horrific reality of the past without collapsing in the present. The journey from fragmentation to integration is long and fraught, but it is the dedicated effort to synthesise the formerly unspeakable into a coherent life narrative that defines true psychological resilience and survival.

What I learned about writing – 306/306

Running the beta reader gauntlet – what to change and what not to…

…

The Beta Feedback Gauntlet: Taming Your Ego and Choosing Your Critics

You’ve done it. You reached The End.

After months (or years) in the writing cave, fueled by caffeine and sheer willpower, you finally sent your prized manuscript out into the wild. You waited for the champagne feeling to settle, and then—the emails started trickling back in.

This is the moment every writer both craves and dreads. Feedback is the necessary acid bath that turns a rough stone into a polished gem. But when you open those documents filled with tracked changes and margins plastered with notes like “Confusing,” “Pacing slow,” or “Didn’t connect with this character,” the defenses snap into place.

Suddenly, the voice in your head screams: “My work is a masterpiece! What do these amateurs know?”

Welcome to the Beta Feedback Gauntlet—the ultimate test of a writer’s maturity. The challenge isn’t just getting feedback; it’s discerning whose voices to heed and how to shake that reflexive, stubborn refusal to listen.

1. Confronting the Masterpiece Delusion

The belief that your just-finished draft is perfect is natural. It’s a necessary psychological mechanism that allows you to finish the book in the first place. But that mindset is lethal in the revision stage.

If you are struggling with the feeling that your betas “just don’t get it,” remind yourself of this fundamental truth: You are too close to the work to see it objectively.

Your beta readers are your first genuine audience. They are experiencing the story for the first time, free from the context of the 80 notebooks, the frantic deleted scenes, and the emotional labour you poured into every sentence.

When you feel that throe of superiority, take a breath and reframe the goal: I am not looking for validation; I am looking for clarity.

2. The Hierarchy of Heeding: Who to Listen To

Once you’ve accepted that revisions are necessary, the strategic challenge remains: How do you prioritise conflicting advice? Not all feedback is created equal.

The key to navigating the notes is understanding the difference between A diagnosis (what is broken) and A prescription (how to fix it). Always trust the diagnosis, but treat the prescription as merely a suggestion.

A. The Weight of Recurring Advice

If one beta reader tells you your opening scene is slow, that’s interesting. If three beta readers tell you the opening scene is slow, you have a problem with the opening scene.

This is the golden rule of feedback: Recurring notes always signal a systemic issue.

It doesn’t matter if you disagree with the specific language used (e.g., one says “the protagonist is whiny,” another says “I didn’t root for her”), the underlying diagnosis is the same: the protagonist’s presentation or motives are failing to land with the reader.

Action Item: Use a spreadsheet or a separate document to track recurring comments. If a point is raised by 30% or more of your readers, it must be addressed, regardless of your personal feelings.

B. The Shock of the Single Insight

While recurring comments are supreme, don’t dismiss the powerful, precise note that only one beta provides. This usually applies to:

  1. Genre Expectations: If one reader who specialises in your genre (e.g., a huge fan of dark fantasy) tells you that the magic system doesn’t make sense, heed them. They speak for a crucial segment of your market.
  2. Structural Integrity: Sometimes, one sharp-eyed reader catches a massive plot hole or a continuity error that everyone else missed because they were swept up in the story. This single note can save the entire manuscript.

If a single comment causes your stomach to clench and you immediately think, “Oh, they found the weak spot I tried to hide,” that note is often more valuable than twenty comments on typos.

C. Listening to the ‘Wrong’ Reader

One of the greatest mistakes a writer makes is only giving their work to other writers. While writer betas are useful for craft notes, you also need readers who are simply fans of the genre.

The non-writer reader is crucial because they don’t analyse; they read. They tell you when they got bored, when they stopped caring, or when a scene made them cry. They represent the market. If they struggled with the pacing, the pacing is probably the real problem, even if your writer friends told you the structure was brilliant.

3. Shaking the ‘I Refuse to Listen’ Attitude

That defensive, “I refuse to listen” attitude is a form of procrastination disguised as artistic integrity. To move past it, you need practical strategies for detachment.

1. Institute a 48-Hour Freeze

Never read feedback and start acting on it immediately. Your brain needs time to process the emotional shock. When the notes come in, read them quickly, close the document, and walk away. Go work out, cook dinner, or watch a bad movie.

The goal is to let the emotional heat dissipate so that when you sit down 48 hours later, you can approach the feedback as a detective solving a puzzle, not a defendant on trial.

2. Focus on the Effect, Not the Suggestion

When a beta reader gives a prescription—saying something like, “You should make the villain a woman instead of a man”—don’t focus on their suggested fix. Focus on the implied diagnosis.

  • Beta says: “I didn’t care about the villain’s motivation.”
  • The Problem: The motivation is weak.
  • Your Solution: Brainstorm five new motivations. Maybe one is a female character, but maybe another is a male character with a deeper backstory. You solve the problem without implementing the suggestion.

3. Seek the Root Cause

Often, a dozen different pieces of feedback point back to one central flaw.

  • Notes: “Dialogue is clunky,” “Pacing slows in the middle,” “I didn’t understand why they went to the abandoned factory,” “The stakes felt low.”
  • Root Cause: The protagonist lacks a clear, compelling goal that drives the entire second act.

When you find that single, vital root cause, the other twelve symptoms (clunky dialogue, weak pacing) often heal themselves once the main structural adjustment is made.

Feedback Is Fuel

Receiving beta feedback feels like a verdict, but it is actually a gift. It is the roadmap to the best possible version of your book.

Your job as a successful, professional writer is not to defend your work, but to elevate it. That means putting your ego aside and strategically choosing which voices to heed. Trust the patterns, focus on the reader’s experience, and remember: Every great masterpiece started as a messy draft that stubbornly resisted the first round of changes.

Top 5 sights on the road less travelled – Warsaw

Beyond the Big Five: Warsaw’s Hidden Gems That Will Captivate You (Without the Crowds)

Warsaw is a city that whispers tales of resilience and rebirth, and while the Royal Castle and the Old Town Market Square rightfully draw admirers, there’s a magic to be found in its less-trodden paths. If you’re looking to experience the true soul of the Polish capital without battling a sea of selfie sticks, then this list is for you. Forget the predictable queues; we’re diving into Warsaw’s top five tourist attractions that boast distinctive charm and a serene atmosphere.

Here are five must-visit spots that offer a unique perspective on Warsaw, perfect for the discerning traveller:

1. The Palace of Culture and Science – The Observatory Deck (and beyond!)

Yes, the Palace of Culture and Science is a prominent landmark, but many visitors only see its imposing exterior. The real magic for those seeking fewer crowds lies in its observatory deck on the 30th floor. While it’s a known spot, it rarely experiences the overwhelming throngs of other city viewpoints. The 360-degree panorama of Warsaw from here is breathtaking, particularly at sunset when the city lights begin to twinkle.

Why it’s distinctive: It’s not just the view; it’s the architectural style (a controversial “gift” from the Soviet Union) and the sheer scale of the building that make it a talking point. Venture beyond the deck, and you’ll find cinema complexes, theatres, and museums within its walls, offering a glimpse into Warsaw’s cultural heart without the typical tourist hustle.

2. POLIN Museum of the History of Polish Jews – Immersive Storytelling

While gaining well-deserved recognition, the POLIN Museum is often overlooked by those solely focused on pre-war history. This isn’t just a museum; it’s an immersive journey through a thousand years of Jewish life in Poland. Through stunning architectural design and innovative exhibits, you’ll walk through recreated historical spaces, interact with multimedia displays, and gain a profound understanding of a community that shaped Polish heritage.

Why it’s distinctive: The sheer scale and ambition of its narrative, covering centuries of history, art, and culture. It’s a space that educates, inspires, and often deeply moves visitors. The building itself is a masterpiece, representing a modern interpretation of Jewish heritage.

3. Łazienki Park – Royal Retreat and Artistic Haven

Łazienki Park is Warsaw’s largest green space, and while it’s a popular spot for locals, it rarely feels overrun by tourists. This 18th-century royal complex is a tranquil oasis, featuring opulent palaces, charming gardens, and an amphitheatre. The iconic Palace on the Isle, perched on a picturesque lake, is a sight to behold. You might even spot some resident peacocks strutting their stuff!

Why it’s distinctive: It’s a harmonious blend of natural beauty and neoclassical architecture. Unlike meticulously manicured gardens, Łazienki Park feels like a truly lived-in royal retreat. The open-air Chopin concerts held here in the summer (check schedules!) are a truly magical experience, usually with plenty of space to spread out.

4. The Neon Museum – A Vibrant Flashback

Step into a world of glowing colours and retro charm at the Neon Museum. This unique institution showcases remnants of the Cold War era’s communist-era neon signs, meticulously restored and displayed within a former factory. It’s a visually striking and surprisingly poignant collection that tells a story of Polish urbanism and design during a specific historical period.

Why it’s distinctive: It’s an unconventional museum dedicated to a specific, visually captivating art form. The sheer density of vibrant, luminous signs creates an unforgettable atmosphere. It’s a photographer’s dream and a fascinating glimpse into a bygone era of Polish advertising and urban character.

5. Praga District – The Authentic “Wild East”

For a truly authentic Warsaw experience, venture across the Vistula River to the Praga district. Once considered the “wild east” of Warsaw, Praga has retained much of its pre-war architectural character, with crumbling facades, hidden courtyards, and a distinct bohemian vibe. It’s a stark contrast to the meticulously reconstructed Old Town and offers a more raw, gritty, and intriguing side of the city.

Why it’s distinctive: It’s a living testament to Warsaw’s pre-war past, defying the city’s narrative of complete destruction and reconstruction. Explore its intricate street art, independent galleries, and charming cafes for a taste of Warsaw’s evolving artistic scene. Take a guided walking tour to truly appreciate the hidden stories etched into its buildings.

So, next time you find yourself in Warsaw, dare to stray from the beaten path. These five attractions offer not just unique sights, but also a chance to connect with the city’s diverse history, vibrant culture, and captivating spirit, all without the overwhelming crowds. Happy exploring!

Top 5 sights on the road less travelled – Riga

Beyond the Crowds: Riga’s Top 5 Distinctive & Unforgettable Hidden Gems

Riga. The name itself conjures images of cobblestone streets, vibrant Art Nouveau facades, and the bustling energy of its UNESCO-listed Old Town. And while these iconic sights are undoubtedly charming, sometimes the most profound travel experiences are found just a little off the well-trodden path.

For the discerning traveller who yearns for authenticity without the elbow-to-elbow crowds, who seeks distinctive features and stories that resonate long after the trip is over, Riga holds a treasure trove of quieter wonders. So, put down that mainstream guide and join me on a journey to uncover five visitor attractions in Riga that promise unique character and peaceful exploration.

1. The Zanis Lipke Memorial: A Testament to Humanity

More than just a museum, the Zanis Lipke Memorial is a profound architectural and emotional experience. Hidden away on Ķīpsala island, this striking black tarred wooden structure resembles an inverted Noah’s Ark, built directly over the secret bunker where Zanis Lipke, a dockworker, hid and saved over 50 Jews from the Holocaust during WWII.

Distinctive Features: The building itself is an architectural marvel – stark, symbolic, and deeply moving. Inside, a narrow, dark passage leads down into the actual bunker, immersing you in the chilling reality of those hidden. The design perfectly complements the powerful story of courage and sacrifice, creating a space for quiet introspection and remembrance. It’s rarely crowded, allowing you to absorb its sombre beauty and the incredible human spirit it honours at your own pace.

2. The Latvian Ethnographic Open-Air Museum: A Walk Through Time

Escape the city entirely and step into rural Latvia from centuries past at the Latvian Ethnographic Open-Air Museum. Sprawling across a vast, picturesque forest on the shores of Lake Jugla, this is one of Europe’s largest open-air museums. It features nearly 120 traditional Latvian buildings – farmsteads, churches, windmills, and fishing villages – painstakingly moved from various regions of Latvia and reconstructed here.

Distinctive Features: Each building tells a story, showcasing the lifestyle, crafts, and traditions of Latvian peasants, fishermen, and artisans from the 17th to the 20th centuries. You can wander through authentic homes, see traditional tools, and often witness artisans demonstrating ancient crafts. Due to its sheer size and slightly out-of-the-way location (easily reachable by bus), it rarely feels crowded, offering ample space to stroll, reflect, and enjoy the tranquil natural surroundings. It’s a living history book under the open sky.

3. Kalnciema Quarter: Wooden Architecture & Bohemian Vibes

While parts of Riga are famous for Art Nouveau, the Kalnciema Quarter offers a different, equally captivating architectural experience: beautifully restored wooden buildings. This charming neighbourhood, a bit west of the Old Town, is a vibrant cultural hub, especially on weekends.

Distinctive Features: The cluster of meticulously renovated 19th-century wooden houses, each with intricate carvings and pastel hues, creates an almost fairytale-like atmosphere. Beyond the architecture, the quarter hosts organic food and craft markets, open-air concerts, art exhibitions, and pop-up cafes – all within a relaxed, community-focused setting. While market days bring a lively buzz, it’s a far cry from the tourist throngs, offering a genuine glimpse into Riga’s modern bohemian culture against a stunning historical backdrop.

4. The Corner House (KGB Museum): A Chilling Echo of the Past

For a powerful and sobering experience, visit “The Corner House” (Stūra Māja), the former headquarters of the Soviet KGB in Latvia. This imposing building, now a museum, is a stark reminder of Latvia’s turbulent 20th century.

Distinctive Features: A visit here is not just about exhibits; it’s about walking through history. You can explore the original cells, interrogation rooms, the former waiting rooms, and the chilling exercise yard. The atmosphere is sombre and reflective, offering a raw and unfiltered look at the methods and impact of the Soviet regime. While popular, the nature of the visit (often guided tours through specific areas) means it rarely feels overwhelmingly crowded, allowing for a deeply personal engagement with this poignant piece of history.

5. Miera Iela & The Great Cemetery: Artisanal Charm Meets Serene History

Combine two distinctive, less-trafficked experiences by exploring Miera Iela (Peace Street) and its adjacent Great Cemetery. Miera Iela has earned the nickname “hipster street” for its collection of independent cafes, artisan boutiques, small art galleries, and vintage shops.

Distinctive Features: Miera Iela offers a refreshing contrast to the Old Town, showcasing Riga’s contemporary, creative pulse. Stroll, grab a coffee, browse unique items. Just a stone’s throw away, you’ll find the Great Cemetery (Lielie Kapi). Far from morbid, this historic cemetery is a sprawling, peaceful park adorned with magnificent sculptures, grand mausoleums, and ancient trees. It’s a place of quiet beauty and historical significance, where many notable Latvians are laid to rest, and where you can enjoy a serene walk amidst stunning funerary art and natural tranquillity, almost always in solitude.

Riga is a city that keeps on giving, especially when you’re willing to venture slightly off the beaten path. These five distinctive attractions offer not just sights, but stories, emotions, and a deeper connection to the heart of Latvia, all within the tranquil embrace of fewer crowds.

Have you visited any of these hidden gems in Riga, or found other distinctive, uncrowded spots? Share your experiences in the comments below!

What I learned about writing – 306/306

Running the beta reader gauntlet – what to change and what not to…

…

The Beta Feedback Gauntlet: Taming Your Ego and Choosing Your Critics

You’ve done it. You reached The End.

After months (or years) in the writing cave, fueled by caffeine and sheer willpower, you finally sent your prized manuscript out into the wild. You waited for the champagne feeling to settle, and then—the emails started trickling back in.

This is the moment every writer both craves and dreads. Feedback is the necessary acid bath that turns a rough stone into a polished gem. But when you open those documents filled with tracked changes and margins plastered with notes like “Confusing,” “Pacing slow,” or “Didn’t connect with this character,” the defenses snap into place.

Suddenly, the voice in your head screams: “My work is a masterpiece! What do these amateurs know?”

Welcome to the Beta Feedback Gauntlet—the ultimate test of a writer’s maturity. The challenge isn’t just getting feedback; it’s discerning whose voices to heed and how to shake that reflexive, stubborn refusal to listen.

1. Confronting the Masterpiece Delusion

The belief that your just-finished draft is perfect is natural. It’s a necessary psychological mechanism that allows you to finish the book in the first place. But that mindset is lethal in the revision stage.

If you are struggling with the feeling that your betas “just don’t get it,” remind yourself of this fundamental truth: You are too close to the work to see it objectively.

Your beta readers are your first genuine audience. They are experiencing the story for the first time, free from the context of the 80 notebooks, the frantic deleted scenes, and the emotional labour you poured into every sentence.

When you feel that throe of superiority, take a breath and reframe the goal: I am not looking for validation; I am looking for clarity.

2. The Hierarchy of Heeding: Who to Listen To

Once you’ve accepted that revisions are necessary, the strategic challenge remains: How do you prioritise conflicting advice? Not all feedback is created equal.

The key to navigating the notes is understanding the difference between A diagnosis (what is broken) and A prescription (how to fix it). Always trust the diagnosis, but treat the prescription as merely a suggestion.

A. The Weight of Recurring Advice

If one beta reader tells you your opening scene is slow, that’s interesting. If three beta readers tell you the opening scene is slow, you have a problem with the opening scene.

This is the golden rule of feedback: Recurring notes always signal a systemic issue.

It doesn’t matter if you disagree with the specific language used (e.g., one says “the protagonist is whiny,” another says “I didn’t root for her”), the underlying diagnosis is the same: the protagonist’s presentation or motives are failing to land with the reader.

Action Item: Use a spreadsheet or a separate document to track recurring comments. If a point is raised by 30% or more of your readers, it must be addressed, regardless of your personal feelings.

B. The Shock of the Single Insight

While recurring comments are supreme, don’t dismiss the powerful, precise note that only one beta provides. This usually applies to:

  1. Genre Expectations: If one reader who specialises in your genre (e.g., a huge fan of dark fantasy) tells you that the magic system doesn’t make sense, heed them. They speak for a crucial segment of your market.
  2. Structural Integrity: Sometimes, one sharp-eyed reader catches a massive plot hole or a continuity error that everyone else missed because they were swept up in the story. This single note can save the entire manuscript.

If a single comment causes your stomach to clench and you immediately think, “Oh, they found the weak spot I tried to hide,” that note is often more valuable than twenty comments on typos.

C. Listening to the ‘Wrong’ Reader

One of the greatest mistakes a writer makes is only giving their work to other writers. While writer betas are useful for craft notes, you also need readers who are simply fans of the genre.

The non-writer reader is crucial because they don’t analyse; they read. They tell you when they got bored, when they stopped caring, or when a scene made them cry. They represent the market. If they struggled with the pacing, the pacing is probably the real problem, even if your writer friends told you the structure was brilliant.

3. Shaking the ‘I Refuse to Listen’ Attitude

That defensive, “I refuse to listen” attitude is a form of procrastination disguised as artistic integrity. To move past it, you need practical strategies for detachment.

1. Institute a 48-Hour Freeze

Never read feedback and start acting on it immediately. Your brain needs time to process the emotional shock. When the notes come in, read them quickly, close the document, and walk away. Go work out, cook dinner, or watch a bad movie.

The goal is to let the emotional heat dissipate so that when you sit down 48 hours later, you can approach the feedback as a detective solving a puzzle, not a defendant on trial.

2. Focus on the Effect, Not the Suggestion

When a beta reader gives a prescription—saying something like, “You should make the villain a woman instead of a man”—don’t focus on their suggested fix. Focus on the implied diagnosis.

  • Beta says: “I didn’t care about the villain’s motivation.”
  • The Problem: The motivation is weak.
  • Your Solution: Brainstorm five new motivations. Maybe one is a female character, but maybe another is a male character with a deeper backstory. You solve the problem without implementing the suggestion.

3. Seek the Root Cause

Often, a dozen different pieces of feedback point back to one central flaw.

  • Notes: “Dialogue is clunky,” “Pacing slows in the middle,” “I didn’t understand why they went to the abandoned factory,” “The stakes felt low.”
  • Root Cause: The protagonist lacks a clear, compelling goal that drives the entire second act.

When you find that single, vital root cause, the other twelve symptoms (clunky dialogue, weak pacing) often heal themselves once the main structural adjustment is made.

Feedback Is Fuel

Receiving beta feedback feels like a verdict, but it is actually a gift. It is the roadmap to the best possible version of your book.

Your job as a successful, professional writer is not to defend your work, but to elevate it. That means putting your ego aside and strategically choosing which voices to heed. Trust the patterns, focus on the reader’s experience, and remember: Every great masterpiece started as a messy draft that stubbornly resisted the first round of changes.

First Dig Two Graves

A sequel to “The Devil You Don’t”

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Revenge is a dish best served cold – or preferably so when everything goes right

Of course, it rarely does, as Alistair, Zoe’s handler, discovers to his peril. Enter a wildcard, John, and whatever Alistair’s plan for dealing with Zoe was dies with him.

It leaves Zoe in completely unfamiliar territory.

…

John’s idyllic romance with a woman who is utterly out of his comfort zone is on borrowed time. She is still trying to reconcile her ambivalence, after being so indifferent for so long.

They agree to take a break, during which she disappears. John, thinking she has left without saying goodbye, refuses to accept the inevitable, calls on an old friend for help in finding her.

After the mayhem and being briefly reunited, she recognises an inevitable truth: there is a price to pay for taking out Alistair; she must leave and find them first, and he would be wise to keep a low profile.

But keeping a low profile just isn’t possible, and enlisting another friend, a private detective and his sister, a deft computer hacker, they track her to the border between Austria and Hungary.

What John doesn’t realise is that another enemy is tracking him to find her too. It could have been a grand tour of Europe. Instead, it becomes a race against time before enemies old and new converge for what will be an inevitable showdown.

NANOWRIMO – November 2025 – Day 18

…

The Third Son of a Duke

…

48 plus hours with Margaret can do a lot to simply not think about the war.

His plan to be in Melbourne shortly before the ship leaves is, of course, thwarted by wars and circumstances.

The ship is the Orontes.  It is real, it did leave Melbourne in April of 1915, and it had nearly 600 passengers that I can find, but these ships could take more.  It was also laden with cargo mostly for the mother country, among which would be war materials.

There are also nurses and doctors making the ship’s departure very emotional.

The time in Melbourne is spent in the Grand Hotel, and it’s not entirely clear whether he invites Margaret to stay or she invites herself, but after dinner on that first night, she is there the next morning.

It is not that sort of relationship.  Both are acutely aware of his commitment to Louise.  Margaret is just happy to be spoiled.  He is happy to spend some time with a friend before going to war.

While writing about this odd relationship, I find it hard not to romantically entangle them, but I have taken a step back and considered the ramifications of the day and age, of proprieties, and opinions of young women and the expectations of their peers.

It means having to completely block out current-day sexual mores and the sort of happy-go-lucky attitude and promiscuity that is the modern way of doing things.  Perhaps it happened then, too, but I’m trying to make this simple.

Dinner, dancing, sightseeing, being together — but not.

Of course, reading about the city I grew up in and never really seeing it for what it was then, is fascinating, and some of it is still there; that desire to replace architectural marvels with obscene glass and concrete has not yet completely taken over.

How marvellous it must have been to live in such an age.

…

1995 words, for a total of 29185 words.

Writing a book in 365 days – My Story 46

More about my story – And more on the subject of Beta readers!

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The Beta Reader Gauntlet: Navigating Feedback That Feels Like a Punch to the Gut

Here’s the thing.

Every writer knows this quiet dread, this cold sweat moment that hits long before the manuscript is even finished: What if the beta readers find a fundamental flaw in the story? What if the very foundations you’ve painstakingly laid turn out to be cracked, crumbling, or just plain wonky?

It’s a terrifying thought, but let’s be honest with ourselves: it’s a very real possibility.

The Unseen Chaos of Creation

When you’re deep in the trenches of writing, especially over an extended period, the process itself can create inconsistencies. We’ve all been there:

  • Disjointed Aspects: Plot threads we thought we’d tied up suddenly unravel, or new ones appear from nowhere, leaving logical gaps.
  • Character Trait Drift: Isabel started as a shy introvert, but by chapter 15, she’s leading the charge and cracking jokes. Did she have an arc, or did we just forget her initial persona?
  • Name Changes & Forgotten Details: That minor character, Officer Jenkins, who mysteriously became Sergeant Miller a few chapters later. Or the key plot point about a missing locket, which was actually a ring earlier in the draft.
  • Lost Flow: Life happens. We write in bursts, in fragments, around jobs and families. The initial spark, the driving rhythm of the narrative, can get fragmented, leaving jarring transitions or a meandering pace.

These internal shifts, often invisible to our own eyes because we’re so close to the material, are precisely what beta readers are designed to unearth. And boy, can that unearthing feel brutal.

The Character Conundrum: Loved vs. Loathed

Then there’s the beloved protagonist. You’ve poured your heart and soul into them. They’re complex, relatable, flawed – everything a great character should be. You send your manuscript out, excited for feedback, only to get this:

“I absolutely adore Elara! She’s so resilient and genuine.” …followed by… “Honestly, Elara was pretty annoying. I found her whiny and self-absorbed.”

Is there something wrong with your character? Is the conflicting feedback a sign of a fundamental flaw, or simply a matter of taste? This is where the true beta reader dilemma kicks in.

It’s tempting to panic, to immediately question everything you thought you knew about your protagonist. But before you rewrite their entire personality, let’s unpack this.

The Truth About Character Reception: No character, no matter how perfectly crafted, will be universally loved. Some of the most iconic characters in literature and film are divisive for a reason – their complexity sparks strong opinions. The goal isn’t universal adoration; it’s usually about creating a character who resonates meaningfully with your intended audience, or who effectively serves their role in the story.

Ask Deeper Questions:

  • Why did they find them annoying/likable? Is the “annoying” feedback due to genuine inconsistency or a lack of motivation for their actions? Or is it because the character embodies traits that simply rub that particular reader the wrong way (which might be the point of the character)?
  • Does the character achieve their intended purpose? If your character is meant to be a bit abrasive at first, but grows, then initial annoyance might not be a flaw. If they’re meant to be inspiring, and everyone finds them annoying, that’s a problem.
  • Is there a pattern? If one person finds them annoying and ten others love them, perhaps it’s an outlier opinion. If six out of ten find them annoying, it’s time to investigate further.

The Million-Dollar Question: At What Point Do You Consider Changes?

This is the ultimate balancing act of the beta reader process. You can’t implement every single suggestion, or your story will become a disjointed Frankenstein’s monster. But you also can’t dismiss everything.

Here’s a framework for deciding when to make changes:

  1. Look for Patterns, Not Just Individual Comments: If multiple beta readers (especially those with diverse reading tastes) highlight the same plot hole, character inconsistency, confusing timeline, or pacing issue, pay attention. This is a flashing red light. A single comment might be an anomaly; a pattern is a problem.
  2. Does It Resonate with Your Gut? Often, when a beta reader points out a flaw, there’s a quiet voice in the back of your head that says, “Yeah, I kind of knew that.” Trust that feeling. If the feedback confirms a nagging doubt you already had, it’s likely a change worth making.
  3. Distinguish Between “Preference” and “Problem”:
    • Preference: “I wish the villain had a different motivation,” or “I prefer faster pacing.” These are subjective. Consider them, but don’t feel obligated to change unless they align with a broader pattern or your own vision.
    • Problem: “I didn’t understand why the character did X, it felt out of character,” or “The plot felt like it stopped completely in the middle section.” These indicate a structural or logical issue that needs addressing.
  4. Consider the Scope:
    • Fundamental Flaws: Issues with plot, character arc, world-building logic, or core themes require significant attention. These are the “punch to the gut” feedbacks that, while painful, are vital to fix. They often require rewriting entire sections.
    • Mid-Level Issues: Pacing problems, confusing descriptions, minor character inconsistencies. These might require trimming, expanding, or clearer exposition.
    • Minor Edits: Typos, grammatical errors, word choices. These are easily fixable during the copyediting stage.
  5. Give Yourself Time: Don’t react immediately. Read all the feedback, then walk away for a few days (or even a week). Let your emotions settle. When you return, you’ll be able to assess the comments more objectively.

The beta reader process is less about them finding flaws and more about them helping you find the strongest version of your story. It’s a crucible, yes, but one that hones your craft and your manuscript. Embrace the chaos, learn from the feedback, and have the courage to make the changes that will truly elevate your narrative. Your stronger story (and thicker skin) will thank you for it.

Top 5 sights on the road less travelled – Riga

Beyond the Crowds: Riga’s Top 5 Distinctive & Unforgettable Hidden Gems

Riga. The name itself conjures images of cobblestone streets, vibrant Art Nouveau facades, and the bustling energy of its UNESCO-listed Old Town. And while these iconic sights are undoubtedly charming, sometimes the most profound travel experiences are found just a little off the well-trodden path.

For the discerning traveller who yearns for authenticity without the elbow-to-elbow crowds, who seeks distinctive features and stories that resonate long after the trip is over, Riga holds a treasure trove of quieter wonders. So, put down that mainstream guide and join me on a journey to uncover five visitor attractions in Riga that promise unique character and peaceful exploration.

1. The Zanis Lipke Memorial: A Testament to Humanity

More than just a museum, the Zanis Lipke Memorial is a profound architectural and emotional experience. Hidden away on Ķīpsala island, this striking black tarred wooden structure resembles an inverted Noah’s Ark, built directly over the secret bunker where Zanis Lipke, a dockworker, hid and saved over 50 Jews from the Holocaust during WWII.

Distinctive Features: The building itself is an architectural marvel – stark, symbolic, and deeply moving. Inside, a narrow, dark passage leads down into the actual bunker, immersing you in the chilling reality of those hidden. The design perfectly complements the powerful story of courage and sacrifice, creating a space for quiet introspection and remembrance. It’s rarely crowded, allowing you to absorb its sombre beauty and the incredible human spirit it honours at your own pace.

2. The Latvian Ethnographic Open-Air Museum: A Walk Through Time

Escape the city entirely and step into rural Latvia from centuries past at the Latvian Ethnographic Open-Air Museum. Sprawling across a vast, picturesque forest on the shores of Lake Jugla, this is one of Europe’s largest open-air museums. It features nearly 120 traditional Latvian buildings – farmsteads, churches, windmills, and fishing villages – painstakingly moved from various regions of Latvia and reconstructed here.

Distinctive Features: Each building tells a story, showcasing the lifestyle, crafts, and traditions of Latvian peasants, fishermen, and artisans from the 17th to the 20th centuries. You can wander through authentic homes, see traditional tools, and often witness artisans demonstrating ancient crafts. Due to its sheer size and slightly out-of-the-way location (easily reachable by bus), it rarely feels crowded, offering ample space to stroll, reflect, and enjoy the tranquil natural surroundings. It’s a living history book under the open sky.

3. Kalnciema Quarter: Wooden Architecture & Bohemian Vibes

While parts of Riga are famous for Art Nouveau, the Kalnciema Quarter offers a different, equally captivating architectural experience: beautifully restored wooden buildings. This charming neighbourhood, a bit west of the Old Town, is a vibrant cultural hub, especially on weekends.

Distinctive Features: The cluster of meticulously renovated 19th-century wooden houses, each with intricate carvings and pastel hues, creates an almost fairytale-like atmosphere. Beyond the architecture, the quarter hosts organic food and craft markets, open-air concerts, art exhibitions, and pop-up cafes – all within a relaxed, community-focused setting. While market days bring a lively buzz, it’s a far cry from the tourist throngs, offering a genuine glimpse into Riga’s modern bohemian culture against a stunning historical backdrop.

4. The Corner House (KGB Museum): A Chilling Echo of the Past

For a powerful and sobering experience, visit “The Corner House” (Stūra Māja), the former headquarters of the Soviet KGB in Latvia. This imposing building, now a museum, is a stark reminder of Latvia’s turbulent 20th century.

Distinctive Features: A visit here is not just about exhibits; it’s about walking through history. You can explore the original cells, interrogation rooms, the former waiting rooms, and the chilling exercise yard. The atmosphere is sombre and reflective, offering a raw and unfiltered look at the methods and impact of the Soviet regime. While popular, the nature of the visit (often guided tours through specific areas) means it rarely feels overwhelmingly crowded, allowing for a deeply personal engagement with this poignant piece of history.

5. Miera Iela & The Great Cemetery: Artisanal Charm Meets Serene History

Combine two distinctive, less-trafficked experiences by exploring Miera Iela (Peace Street) and its adjacent Great Cemetery. Miera Iela has earned the nickname “hipster street” for its collection of independent cafes, artisan boutiques, small art galleries, and vintage shops.

Distinctive Features: Miera Iela offers a refreshing contrast to the Old Town, showcasing Riga’s contemporary, creative pulse. Stroll, grab a coffee, browse unique items. Just a stone’s throw away, you’ll find the Great Cemetery (Lielie Kapi). Far from morbid, this historic cemetery is a sprawling, peaceful park adorned with magnificent sculptures, grand mausoleums, and ancient trees. It’s a place of quiet beauty and historical significance, where many notable Latvians are laid to rest, and where you can enjoy a serene walk amidst stunning funerary art and natural tranquillity, almost always in solitude.

Riga is a city that keeps on giving, especially when you’re willing to venture slightly off the beaten path. These five distinctive attractions offer not just sights, but stories, emotions, and a deeper connection to the heart of Latvia, all within the tranquil embrace of fewer crowds.

Have you visited any of these hidden gems in Riga, or found other distinctive, uncrowded spots? Share your experiences in the comments below!

Another excerpt from ‘Betrayal’; a work in progress

…

My next destination in the quest was the hotel we believed Anne Merriweather had stayed at.

I was, in a sense, flying blind because we had no concrete evidence she had been there, and the message she had left behind didn’t quite name the hotel or where Vladimir was going to take her.

Mindful of the fact that someone might have been following me, I checked to see if the person I’d assumed had followed me to Elizabeth’s apartment was still in place, but I couldn’t see him. Next, I made a mental note of seven different candidates and committed them to memory.

Then I set off to the hotel, hailing a taxi. There was the possibility the cab driver was one of them, but perhaps I was slightly more paranoid than I should be. I’d been watching the queue, and there were two others before me.

The journey took about an hour, during which time I kept an eye out the back to see if anyone had been following us. If anyone was, I couldn’t see them.

I had the cab drop me off a block from the hotel and then spent the next hour doing a complete circuit of the block the hotel was on, checking the front and rear entrances, the cameras in place, and the siting of the driveway into the underground carpark. There was a camera over the entrance, and one we hadn’t checked for footage. I sent a text message to Fritz to look into it.

The hotel lobby was large and busy, which was exactly what you’d want if you wanted to come and go without standing out. It would be different later at night, but I could see her arriving about mid-afternoon, and anonymous among the type of clientele the hotel attracted.

I spent an hour sitting in various positions in the lobby simply observing. I had already ascertained where the elevator lobby for the rooms was, and the elevator down to the car park. Fortunately, it was not ‘guarded’ but there was a steady stream of concierge staff coming and going to the lower levels, and, just from time to time, guests.

Then, when there was a commotion at the front door, what seemed to be a collision of guests and free-wheeling bags, I saw one of the seven potential taggers sitting by the front door. Waiting for me to leave? Or were they wondering why I was spending so much time there?

Taking advantage of that confusion, I picked my moment to head for the elevators that went down to the car park, pressed the down button, and waited.

The was no car on the ground level, so I had to wait, watching, like several others, the guests untangling themselves at the entrance, and an eye on my potential surveillance, still absorbed in the confusion.

The doors to the left car opened, and a concierge stepped out, gave me a quick look, then headed back to his desk. I stepped into the car, pressed the first level down, the level I expected cars to arrive on, and waited what seemed like a long time for the doors to close.

As they did, I was expecting to see a hand poke through the gap, a latecomer. Nothing happened, and I put it down to a television moment.

There were three basement levels, and for a moment, I let my imagination run wild and considered the possibility that there were more levels. Of course, there was no indication on the control panel that there were any other floors, and I’d yet to see anything like it in reality.

With a shake of my head to return to reality, the car arrived, the doors opened, and I stepped out.

A car pulled up, and the driver stepped out, went around to the rear of his car, and pulled out a case. I half expected him to throw me the keys, but the instant glance he gave me told him was not the concierge, and instead brushed past me like I wasn’t there.

He bashed the up button several times impatiently and cursed when the doors didn’t open immediately. Not a happy man.

Another car drove past on its way down to a lower level.

I looked up and saw the CCTV camera, pointing towards the entrance, visible in the distance. A gate that lifted up was just about back in position and then made a clunk when it finally closed. The footage from the camera would not prove much, even if it had been working, because it didn’t cover the life lobby, only in the direction of the car entrance.

The doors to the other elevator car opened, and a man in a suit stepped out.

“Can I help you, sir? You seem lost.”

Security, or something else. “It seems that way. I went to the elevator lobby, got in, and it went down rather than up. I must have been in the wrong place.”

“Lost it is, then, sir.” I could hear the contempt for Americans in his tone. “If you will accompany me, please.”

He put out a hand ready to guide me back into the elevator. I was only too happy to oblige him. There had been a sign near the button panel that said the basement levels were only to be accessed by the guests.

Once inside, he turned a key and pressed the lobby button. The doors closed, and we went up. He stood, facing the door, not speaking. A few seconds later, he was ushering me out to the lobby.

“Now, sir, if you are a guest…”

“Actually, I’m looking for one. She called me and said she would be staying in this hotel and to come down and visit her. I was trying to get to the sixth floor.”

“Good. Let’s go over the the desk and see what we can do for you.”

I followed him over to the reception desk, where he signalled one of the clerks, a young woman who looked and acted very efficiently, and told her of my request, but then remained to oversee the proceeding.

“Name of guest, sir?”

“Merriweather, Anne. I’m her brother, Alexander.” I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out my passport to prove that I was who I said I was. She glanced cursorily at it.

She typed the name into the computer, and then we waited a few seconds while it considered what to output. Then, she said, “That lady is not in the hotel, sir.”

Time to put on my best-confused look. “But she said she would be staying here for the week. I made a special trip to come here to see her.”

Another puzzled look from the clerk, then, “When did she call you?”

An interesting question to ask, and it set off a warning bell in my head. I couldn’t say today, it would have to be the day she was supposedly taken.

“Last Saturday, about four in the afternoon.”

Another look at the screen, then, “It appears she checked out Sunday morning. I’m afraid you have made a trip in vain.”

Indeed, I had. “Was she staying with anyone?”

I just managed to see the warning pass from the suited man to the clerk. I thought he had shown an interest when I mentioned the name, and now I had confirmation. He knew something about her disappearance. The trouble was, he wasn’t going to volunteer any information because he was more than just hotel security.

“No.”

“Odd,” I muttered. “I thought she told me she was staying with a man named Vladimir something or other. I’m not too good at pronouncing those Russian names. Are you sure?”

She didn’t look back at the screen. “Yes.”

“OK, now one thing I do know about staying in hotels is that you are required to ask guests with foreign passports their next destination, just in case they need to be found. Did she say where she was going next?” It was a long shot, but I thought I’d ask.

“Moscow. As I understand it, she lives in Moscow. That was the only address she gave us.”

I smiled. “Thank you. I know where that is. I probably should have gone there first.”

She didn’t answer; she didn’t have to, her expression did that perfectly.

The suited man spoke again, looking at the clerk. “Thank you.” He swivelled back to me. “I’m sorry we can’t help you.”

“No. You have more than you can know.”

“What was your name again, sir, just in case you still cannot find her?”

“Alexander Merriweather. Her brother. And if she is still missing, I will be posting a very large reward. At the moment, you can best contact me via the American Embassy.”

Money is always a great motivator, and that thoughtful expression on his face suggested he gave a moment’s thought to it.

I left him with that offer and left. If anything, the people who were holding her would know she had a brother, that her brother was looking for her, and equally that brother had money.

…

© Charles Heath – 2018-2025