Category: Writer

In a word: Choice

We are often told that it’s the choices we make that shape our lives.

It’s true.

What distinguishes the basis of those choices is the circumstances of the individual.

What a lot of people don’t realize is the diversity of backgrounds of everyone, and that in a minority of cases, the few that really have no choices at all.

Yes, there are those who have no control over their circumstances, and therefore no choice whatsoever.

Inevitably, the people who are first to criticize those who apparently made the wrong choice, are those that have never found themselves in similar circumstances.

And probably never will.

This perhaps is the biggest problem with governments who are staffed with advisors who do not understand the plight of the common man.

I never had the same opportunities as those who could afford a university education.  My family were working class and were relatively poor.  Had I not hot a scholarship who knows what sort of education I would have got, if any.

Certainly, my father never got an opportunity to get a good education, but, at the time, during the great depression, his choices were limited, whereas those with any sort of wealth it was a different story.

And his lack of choices reflected on us, and that lack of opportunity haunted all of us as time passed.

It was always a case of the haves and the have not’s.

Yes, we all have choices, but sometimes it really is the lesser of two evils, and not whether we will have the fillet or the rib eye steak.

“Sunday in New York”, a romantic adventure that’s not a walk in the park!

“Sunday in New York” is ultimately a story about trust, and what happens when a marriage is stretched to its limits.

When Harry Steele attends a lunch with his manager, Barclay, to discuss a promotion that any junior executive would accept in a heartbeat, it is the fact his wife, Alison, who previously professed her reservations about Barclay, also agreed to attend, that casts a small element of doubt in his mind.

From that moment, his life, in the company, in deciding what to do, his marriage, his very life, spirals out of control.

There is no one big factor that can prove Harry’s worst fears, that his marriage is over, just a number of small, interconnecting events, when piled on top of each other, points to a cataclysmic end to everything he had believed in.

Trust is lost firstly in his best friend and mentor, Andy, who only hints of impending disaster, Sasha, a woman whom he saved, and who appears to have motives of her own, and then in his wife, Alison, as he discovered piece by piece damning evidence she is about to leave him for another man.

Can we trust what we see with our eyes or trust what we hear?

Haven’t we all jumped to conclusions at least once in our lives?

Can Alison, a woman whose self-belief and confidence is about to be put to the ultimate test, find a way of proving their relationship is as strong as it has ever been?

As they say in the classics, read on!

Purchase:

http://tinyurl.com/Amazon-SundayInNewYork

“Trouble in Store” – Short stories my way: Actions have consequences

It’s time for the policewoman to arrive.

There is such a thing as pure dumb luck.

If she had not walked through the door when she did, then Jack wouldn’t have walked away.

From the policewoman’s perspective:

She crossed the street from the corner instead of remaining on the same side of the street as she did every other night.  When she reached the other sidewalk, she was about twenty yards from the nearest window of the store.

As she crossed, she got a better view of the three people in the store and noticed the woman, or girl, was acting oddly as if she had something in her hand, and, from time to time looked down beside her.

A yard or two from the window she stopped, took a deep breath, and then moved slowly, getting a better view of the scene with each step.

Then she saw the gun in the girl’s hand, and the two men, the shopkeeper and a customer facing her both with their hands raised.

It was a convenience store robbery in progress.

She reached for her radio, but it wasn’t there.  She was off duty.  Instead, she withdrew, and called the station on her mobile phone, and reported the robbery.  The officer at the end of the phone said a car would be there in five minutes.

In five minutes there could be dead bodies.

She had to do something, and reached into her bag and pulled out a gun.  Not her service weapon, but one she carried in case of personal danger.

Guns are dangerous weapons in the hands of professional and amateur alike.  You would expect a professional who has trained to use a gun to not have a problem but consider what might happen in exceptional circumstances.

People freeze under pressure.  Alternately, some shoot first and ask questions later.

We have an edgy and frightened girl with a loaded gun, one bullet or thirteen in a magazine, it doesn’t matter.  It only takes one bullet to kill someone.

Then there’s the trigger pressure, light or heavy, the recoil after the shot and whether it causes the bullet to go into or above the intended target, especially if the person has never used a gun.

The policewoman, with training, will need two hands to take the shot, but in getting into the shop she will need one to open the door, and then be briefly distracted before using that hand to steady the other.

It will take a lifetime, even if it is only a few seconds.

Actions have consequences:

The policewoman crouched below the window shelf line so the girl wouldn’t see her and made it to the door before straightening.  She was in dark clothes so the chances were the girl would not see her against the dark street backdrop.

Her hand was on the door handle about to push it inwards when she could feel it being yanked hard from the other side, and the momentum and surprise of it caused her to lose balance and crash into the man who was trying to get out.

What the hell…

A second or two later both were on the floor in a tangled mess, her gun hand caught underneath her, and a glance in the direction of the girl with the gun told her the situation had deteriorated.

The girl had swung the gun around, aimed it at her, and squeezed the trigger twice.

The two bangs in the small room were almost deafening and disorientating.

Behind her, the glass door disintegrated when the bullet hit it.

Neither she nor the man beside her had been hit.

Yet.

She felt a kick in the back and the tickling of glass then broke free as the man she’d run into rolled out of the way.

Quickly on her feet, she saw the girl had gone, and wasted precious seconds getting up off the floor, then out the door to find she had disappeared.

She could hear a siren in the distance.  They’d find her.

If the policewoman had not picked that precise moment to enter the shop, maybe the man would have got away.

Maybe.

If he’d been aware of the fact he was allowed to leave.

He was lucky not to be shot.

Yet there were two shots, and we know at least one of them broke the door’s glass panel.

Next – The end of the story

© Charles Heath 2016-2024

Memories of the conversations with my cat – 92

As some may be aware, but many not, Chester, my faithful writing assistant, mice catcher, and general pain in the neck, passed away some years ago.

Recently I was running a series based on his adventures, under the title of Past Conversations with my cat.

For those who have not had the chance to read about all of his exploits I will run the series again from Episode 1

These are the memories of our time together…

20160922_162007

This is Chester.  He’s been missing a lot.

It’s the confined to quarters thing he doesn’t understand.  We had the discussion about the coronavirus, and the need to stay at home and only go out when there is a reason to go out, like to get food.

Which brought up another concern that he didn’t let go of,  that he didn’t think we had enough cat food or cat litter, or treats, though he didn’t define what he meant by treats.

I assumed it was real fish.

I didn’t tell him that it was a treat for us too, the cost of Barramundi and Salmon just a little expensive for pensioners.

Not that he remembered that we have been pensioners since April last year.

I swear that cat is getting more forgetful.  And, yes, that was another heated debate, whether he was getting dementia.

So, now he’s been taking to his hiding places, and keeping away from me, coming out only to get a pat or two from my other half, and give me the daggers look.  And eat, though some nights he turns his nose up at it.

You can tell his displeased because some of it ends up in his water bowl, and then sits by the water bowl and moans and groans till the water’s replaced.

I swear I’m going to go bonkers if we are forced to stay in the same place much longer.

His annual visit to the vet is coming up, and maybe I can get something for his grumpiness.

 

The cinema of my dreams – Was it just another surveillance job – Episode 58

This story is now on the list to be finished so over the new few weeks, expect a new episode every few days.

The reason why new episodes have been sporadic, there are also other stories to write, and I’m not very good at prioritizing.

But, here we are, a few minutes opened up and it didn’t take long to get back into the groove.

Things are about to get complicated…

“You’re not a target.  Yet.”

“Severin?”

“A loose end who was a rather bad blunt instrument, like his friend Maury.  They learned of a plan to steal some military secrets, tried to stop it and in the end almost destroyed 12 months of painstaking undercover work.  O’Connell had it within his grasp, and therefore in safe hands when those two wrecked a perfectly good retrieval.  Four potential agents dead and then there’s you, persistent I will admit, and one other, Jennifer, I believe her name is.”

“But you don’t have O’Connell, do you?”

“My, you have been working hard.  My first mistake was to trust O’Connell.  My second was to underestimate you, Jackson.  I don’t intend to make a third.  You don’t trust me, do you?”

Was it possible I’d get some version of the truth?

“Apparently he didn’t for some reason.”

“You found him.  Jan said you were being all secretive.  There was something you found in that flat in Peaslake.”

“No.  He told me that in the alley.” 

I sensed he knew way more than I did, but I had a missing piece, and he was going to play nice to get it.   The thing is, I didn’t know what that was.  Not the whole truth from me.

“Yes.  Of course, he did.”

“Perhaps it was self-preservation, not that it did much since someone did shoot him.”

“Not with the intention of killing him.  It was all arranged.”

“You knew he would be at that alley?”

“One of three escape routes.  Neither of us anticipated you would be good enough to follow him.  Severin got lucky with you, probably why he made you the lead.”

Severin hadn’t said as much when he told the group before the exercise began, that I would take point.  I thought it was simply because in the prior five tests, I’d only failed one.  Everyone else had varying results.

“Have you seen the CCTV footage of the explosion?”

“Several times.  It must have been harrowing for you to relive that and see how close you came.”

“It did.  But it did afford a view that I missed while preoccupied.  McConnell and the wife of the scientist I believe stole the formulas.”

“Yes, Anna.   What do you make of her?”

“From a single glimpse?”

“A good agent doesn’t need much to form an opinion.  As you know, that opinion could be the difference between life and death.”

He was starting to sound like Severin.  He said we had to be able to judge a book by its cover and make the right decision based on it.  What did I think of Anna?

“Capable, determined.  She survived an explosion that might well have been directed at her.  Not your average scientist’s wife. “

“Did you check her out?”

“Not yet.  I had this thing with Severin.”

“What did he want?”

“I don’t know.  Jan killed him before he could tell me.”

“A guess?”

“He wanted to come in from the cold before he ended up like Maury.  He knew his days were numbered.  It also means that he knew something that someone didn’t want to be repeated.  You, perhaps?  I mean, you can help make the connection.  Your idea for Jan to get his confidence?”

“Hers.  She’s a good agent, so don’t worry about her.  Find O’Connell.  When you do, you will find Anna, and perhaps, a copy of that USB.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then the department has lost five million pounds.”

…

© Charles Heath 2020-2023

Writing a book in 365 days – 255

Day 255

Editing mistakes

…

Sharpen Your Prose: Banishing Blunders Like Mixed Metaphors, Faulty Parallelism, and Tense Troubles

Ever read something that makes your brain do a little somersault? You know, where you start nodding along, then suddenly hit a snag, and have to backtrack to figure out what the writer actually meant? More often than not, these jarring moments stem from a few common writing errors.

Today, we’re going to tackle three of the most prevalent culprits: mixed metaphors, faulty parallelism, and incorrect tense. Mastering these will not only make your writing clearer and more impactful but will also elevate your credibility as a communicator. Let’s dive in!

The Tangled Web of Mixed Metaphors

Metaphors are beautiful things. They allow us to paint vivid pictures in our readers’ minds by likening one thing to another, creating deeper understanding and engagement. But when you try to weave too many disparate comparisons together, or let a metaphor stray too far from its original intent, you end up with a tangled, nonsensical mess.

The Goal: To use a single, consistent, and effective metaphor to illustrate a point.

The Blunder: Combining two or more unrelated metaphors, creating confusion and often unintentional humor.

Examples:

  • Wrong: “We need to get our ducks in a row before we can really hit the ground running and climb the ladder of success.”
    • Why it’s wrong: “Ducks in a row” implies organization and order. “Hit the ground running” suggests immediate action and speed. “Climb the ladder of success” is about progress and achievement. These are all fine individual ideas, but crammed together, they create a jumbled image. Are we a team of organized ducks, a sprinter, or a mountaineer?
  • Right: “We need to get our ducks in a row before we can begin implementing our new strategy.”
    • Why it’s right: This focuses solely on the “ducks in a row” metaphor, meaning to organize things properly, and it works.
  • Right: “We need to be ready to hit the ground running when the project launches.”
    • Why it’s right: This uses the “hit the ground running” metaphor to convey the need for immediate and energetic action.
  • Right: “Her dedication and hard work were instrumental in her climb up the ladder of success.”
    • Why it’s right: This uses the “ladder of success” metaphor effectively to describe career progression.

The Uneven Scales of Faulty Parallelism

Parallelism, or parallel structure, is about balance and rhythm in your writing. It means using the same grammatical form for elements in a series or comparison. When this balance is disrupted, your sentences can feel clunky and awkward, like a song with a broken beat.

The Goal: To present items in a series or comparison with consistent grammatical structure for clarity and flow.

The Blunder: Using different grammatical forms for elements that should be treated equally.

Examples:

  • Wrong: “She enjoys hiking, to read, and swimming.”
    • Why it’s wrong: “Hiking” is a gerund (verb acting as a noun). “To read” is an infinitive. “Swimming” is another gerund. The shift from gerund to infinitive and back breaks the parallel structure.
  • Right: “She enjoys hiking, reading, and swimming.”
    • Why it’s right: All elements are gerunds, creating a smooth and consistent list.
  • Right: “She enjoys to hike, to read, and to swim.”
    • Why it’s right: All elements are infinitives, also creating parallel structure.
  • Wrong: “The new software offers speed, efficiency, and it is easy to use.”
    • Why it’s wrong: “Speed” and “efficiency” are nouns. “It is easy to use” is a clause.
  • Right: “The new software offers speed, efficiency, and ease of use.”
    • Why it’s right: All elements are nouns, providing consistent structure.

The Shifting Sands of Incorrect Tense

Verb tense is the anchor that grounds your narrative in time. It tells your reader when an action is happening. Inconsistent or incorrect tense can lead to confusion about the sequence of events or the overall timeframe of your writing.

The Goal: To consistently use the appropriate verb tense to accurately reflect the time of the actions being described.

The Blunder: Shifting verb tenses unnecessarily within a sentence, paragraph, or narrative.

Examples:

  • Wrong: “Yesterday, I go to the store and buy some milk.”
    • Why it’s wrong: The action happened “yesterday,” which is in the past. The verbs should reflect this past action.
  • Right: “Yesterday, I went to the store and bought some milk.”
    • Why it’s right: Both verbs are in the simple past tense, accurately describing past events.
  • Wrong: “The character wakes up, realizes he is late, and runs for the bus.”
    • Why it’s wrong: While this can be used for vivid storytelling (present tense for immediacy), if the rest of the narrative is in the past tense, this shift is jarring.
  • Right (if the narrative is in the past): “The character woke up, realized he was late, and ran for the bus.”
    • Why it’s right: Consistent use of the past tense for a narrative set in the past.
  • Wrong: “She will tell you the secret if you ask her nicely.”
    • Why it’s wrong: Mixing future and present tense for actions that are concurrent or related in time.
  • Right: “She will tell you the secret if you ask her nicely.” (This is actually correct as it describes a future conditional event).
    • Let’s try another wrong example: “She told me that she will visit tomorrow.”
    • Why it’s wrong: “Told” is past tense, but “will visit” refers to a future event.
  • Right: “She told me that she would visit tomorrow.” (Using “would” for reported future in the past).
    • Or Right: “She tells me that she will visit tomorrow.” (If the telling is happening now).

Practice Makes Perfect (and Polished Prose!)

Don’t be discouraged if you find yourself making these errors. Most writers do, especially when they’re developing their voice. The key is to be aware of them and to actively proofread with these concepts in mind.

  • Read aloud: Hearing your writing can help you catch awkward phrasing and inconsistencies.
  • Enlist a fresh pair of eyes: Ask a friend or colleague to review your work.
  • Use grammar checkers: While not foolproof, they can highlight potential issues.
  • Study examples: Keep an eye out for effective (and ineffective) uses of metaphors, parallelism, and tense in the writing you admire.

By paying attention to these fundamental aspects of grammar and style, you can transform your writing from merely understandable to truly compelling. So, go forth and banish those blunders! Your readers will thank you for it.

Searching for locations – Dorrigo to Glenreagh, New South Wales, Australia

Once a bustling railway

When you pick up a document that describes tourist attractions in Coffs Harbour, there’s one about the Orara Valley, and what caught my eye was firstly the Lowanna Railway Station.

To get there, you pass through Coramba, where the current railway line runs through it, but any attempt to find the railway station will be met with disappointment.

But …

That’s not the railway story we’re trying to visualise, that is the Glenreagh to Dorrigo line, first mooted in 1906, but not getting started until 1910, then halted because of the First World War and not completed until December 1924, and ran until October 1972.

However, back to Coramba momentarily…

The North Coast railway (the primary rail route in the Mid North Coast and Northern Rivers regions of New South Wales) passes through Coramba, which had a now-closed railway station from 1922.  An attempt to find the station took us to a private residence, which obviously was once the station. It was not what we were looking for.

And then to the right historic station, in Lowanna, not far from Coramba…

Lowanna was the largest of the intermediate stations. It was an attended station, with a crossing loop and siding. Most of the timber was loaded at this location. 

Opened  23-Dec-1924 and Closed 20-Sep-1975

What we were really looking for was the Lowanna Railway Station, which, when we put it in the GPS, almost got us lost.  We eventually found the refurbished station, a rather run-down platform, and rail tracks.

Lowanna was on the Dorrigo branch and lies on the north coast of NSW.  It branches off the North Coast Line at Glenreagh and climbs up to the Dorrigo Plateau.

The Dorrigo area was settled in the early 1900s by pastoralists and tree fellers. Due to the steep terrain, it was decided to build a railway to allow products to be brought to nearby port towns. Several routes were surveyed, with the route from Glenreagh eventually chosen. The line climbs 664m over a length of 69km.

Apart from the endpoints of Dorrigo and Glenreagh, the stations on this line were very small, often consisting of a short platform with a small shelter. The major traffic on this line was timber.

More on the other stations, not that much still exists, on the line from Dorrigo to Glenreagh. At Dorrigo, there is a very big surprise…

What I learned about writing: The murky art of plotting (2)

Truth is stranger than fiction

…

The Unseen Shadows: When “Not Suspicious” Hides a Deadly Truth

In the quiet hum of suburban life, where hedges are trimmed and routines are sacred, sometimes the most chilling stories unfold not with a bang, but with a whisper. A seemingly ordinary day, an ordinary house, and a tragedy that, on the surface, appears tragically straightforward.

This week, a news blurb, easily missed, caught my eye. It spoke of a man and a woman, new in their courtship, found deceased in an ordinary suburban home following a welfare call. Their bodies lay side-by-side on the floor. The initial report was stark, almost dismissive: police were not treating the deaths as suspicious.

And that, my friends, is exactly where our story truly begins.

Because what if “not suspicious” is merely the first layer of a far more intricate, and sinister, narrative? What if that seemingly benign conclusion is precisely the moment when a seasoned investigator should lean a little closer, peer beyond the immediate, and ask: “But what if…?”

In our hypothetical deep dive, the scene, initially dismissed as a tragic dual overdose, starts to sing a different tune – one of carefully orchestrated deception.

The Discordant Notes Begin to Play

For a keen eye, particularly one belonging to someone like Detective Chief Inspector Barnes, the “simple case” quickly unravels:

  1. The Implausible Overdose: The immediate assumption was drugs. Yet, friends of the deceased knew them as anything but recreational users. And even if they were, “lying on the floor at home” didn’t align with their known habits. Most tellingly? No drugs were found in the house, save for residual traces on the bodies themselves. Sniffer dogs confirmed this, finding nothing else. This isn’t just unusual; it suggests a planting of evidence, a narrative carefully constructed.
  2. The Selective Theft: In an upstairs office, a laptop was missing – not the charger or the mouse, just the computer itself. Both their cell phones were also gone. Yet, amidst this targeted disappearance, a significant sum of cash, around £500, was left untouched. If this was a robbery, it was remarkably selective, focusing not on valuables, but on information. A thief with a very particular agenda.
  3. The Silent Bruise: A preliminary examination of the woman’s body revealed bruising on her neck. A subtle mark, easily overlooked, but one that strongly suggested a struggle, a chokehold perhaps. This detail alone pushes the needle firmly away from “natural causes” or “accidental overdose” and towards something far more violent. The coroner’s report would confirm, but the suspicion was planted.
  4. The Ghost in the System: And then, the final, chilling piece of the puzzle. A routine check on the male victim’s name returned an “access denied” flag. In our interconnected world, such a block isn’t accidental. It screams of a hidden identity, a past carefully shielded, perhaps even a life lived undercover.

From Misadventure to Murder

For Detective Chief Inspector Barnes, these four seemingly disparate points converged into a single, inescapable truth. What began as a welfare check, initially deemed tragic but benign, was rapidly transforming into something far more sinister: a potential double murder. The scene, far from being straightforward, was a meticulously staged tableau designed to mislead, to funnel investigators down a path of false assumptions.

This fictional scenario, drawn from the briefest of news items and a “what if” musing, serves as a powerful reminder: appearances can be deceiving. The most unassuming details often hold the key, and sometimes, the loudest silence speaks volumes. It’s a testament to the fact that true investigation isn’t about accepting the obvious, but about questioning everything, about looking for the unseen shadows lurking just beneath the surface of the “not suspicious.”

“Echoes From The Past”, the past doesn’t necessarily stay there


What happens when your past finally catches up with you?

…

Christmas is just around the corner, a time to be with family. For Will Mason, an orphan since he was fourteen, it is a time for reflection on what his life could have been, and what it could be.

Until a chance encounter brings back to life the reasons for his twenty years of self-imposed exile from a life only normal people could have. From that moment Will’s life slowly starts to unravel and it’s obvious to him it’s time to move on.

This time, however, there is more at stake.

Will has broken his number one rule, don’t get involved.

With his nemesis, Eddie Jamieson, suddenly within reach, and a blossoming relationship with an office colleague, Maria, about to change everything, Will has to make a choice. Quietly leave, or finally, make a stand.

But as Will soon discovers, when other people are involved there is going to be terrible consequences no matter what choice he makes.

https://amzn.to/2CYKxu4

newechocover5rs

Searching for locations – Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia – 4

Today’s theme for the arduous early morning walk is – spot the house that doesn’t have people out on the veranda having coffee and taking in the breathtaking scenery.

The cloud formations in the early morning are simply amazing and are literally worth getting out of bed just to see the early morning riding sun come up behind them.

As usual, at 7 am, the walkways and the beach had a large number of people, half of whom have dogs, and yes, even today, it’s hard to tell who’s walking whom. But it is the start of the working week, and there are fewer people around than the weekend.

It’s cool but refreshing, and I’m doing my best impression of Walter Brennan in Rio Bravo, my limp more accentuated after yesterday’s foray along the sandy beach.

He has an excuse. He got injured being a stuntman in the early years of Hollywood. I have no excuse and should be doing more of this exercise. Especially the trudging through loose sand. It’s like walking in a vat of treacle.

Mores the pity I don’t live by the ocean and have a dog that needs exercise.

Not that I’d I wanted to I could afford it. Just the tiny piece of land is worth a small fortune, but to put a three – or four-story house with a viewing veranda would be very expensive. This is one being built and there would be no change out of two or three million to buy it:

But it would make a statement and I would have no end of friends and acquaintances who would want to come around and join me.

Candles and French Champagne on the veranda, it has such a ring to it.

Sorry, I’m dreaming again.

It is back to the affordable suburbs with the one-floor house with no patio, overlooking the side fence, a weed-infested lawn, and a few succulents in pots.

And no exercise. There are too many hills to climb.

Perhaps I should try to get away more often.

But before we go home, the last stop is lunch at one of the surf life-saving clubs where patronising their establishment helps to fund the rescue of people in trouble in the ocean.

We opt for lunch in the dining room where there is an extensive selection of items. We have buffalo chicken wings, duck spring rolls, and pork belly as appetisers. Mains are more chicken wings, a vegetarian burger, and a Wagu beef burger.

There’s a lot to eat.

As far as I’m concerned, the service is great, the food is great, and I’d go back again. It was the perfect end to a very good lunch and the end of our sojourn.