The fourth attempt, other factors, and people

Two other characters will be used in this rewrite; the second is an addition to give the main character a means of letting the reader get to know a bit about him.

His name is Milt, an African American who’s always been on the fringe. Another is a victim of his circumstances, but not letting it get the better of him, the sort of man who makes the best of a bad situation.

He’s seen active service in the army, honourably discharged, but still affected, though not as bad as some of those he served with. He is, in fact, the ideal man for the job, with combat experience, so he’s not likely to get flustered in a shit storm.

And probably not the man you want on this site. Being in desperate circumstances doesn’t mean you do desperate things.

He is one of a team of four, and our main character drew the straw to partner with him. There are two others, based on the other side of the park, neither of whom is trustworthy: Smithy, the overall leader, to whom they all report at shift start and end, and Carruthers, an Englishman reputed to be ex-SAS, but no one is inclined to believe him.

The scars on his neck tell a story, but it was left to the other’s imagination, as he doesn’t talk about it. Milt believed he was captured in Afghanistan and tortured, but that could just be canteen scuttlebutt.

Whatever the circumstances, Graham kept away from him as much as possible and was glad when he didn’t have to partner with him for the shift.

The other character, Penelope, is featured in the earlier versions of the story. Over the changes, her background has changed, but I’ve settled on a medical surgeon career, renowned for doing tricky procedures with a high success rate, and in doing so, gained a reputation, some not always good.

Wealth and ego don’t always make a good pair, and marrying wealth brings its own rewards and pitfalls, particularly when you discover the man you married isn’t exactly who you thought he was.

It is, of course, a typical scenario, but I’m going to try and weave it differently. There will be no more teasers until the story starts.

But she will be introduced earlier than in the previous iterations because she needs some backstory, too; otherwise, just arriving at Graham’s work and getting shot, while provoking a volatile situation that drags the reader in and out of left field, is not exactly the best start.

So, let’s begin.

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The fourth attempt, let’s look at the location

Equally important is the location. Dark and brooding characters need dark and brooding locations. It’s undeniable that there’s evil everywhere; we just have to look for it.

Of course, that’s not what I do, but …

I have been in a few tight corners, with some possibly dark and brooding characters, where my heart rate has increased exponentially, and I was saved by quick thinking and a desire not to hang around and see what happens (for the purposes of a writable experience – no, I’m not that stupid).

As the story stands, we move from a small staff room or restroom, and then we move out to the car park of … what? It’s not exactly clear where it is, only that Graham is leaving work to go home.

Whether it’s clear or not, Graham is a security guard, part of a team that works on an industrial estate where there are a number of factories and office blocks.

Some of those buildings are empty, for a variety of reasons, so a back story for this might be created so that I can convey a clearer picture of not only the bricks and mortar, but what it’s like there.

Ergo, the first descriptive line, stepping outside into the epicentre of the South Pole. There is snow everywhere, which meant it was falling while he was inside at work, but now, the moment he leaves, it’s stopped. Cold, then, and clear.

So it begins…

Now, as a secondary theme, it might not be obvious that the owners are lax in the hiring of security staff to watch over their assets, staff that are relatively dubious in character, which might, in turn, mean that the notion of using cut-price security might mean something else is going on.

Are the empty factories empty? Or have they been repurposed, and the guards are not sure what they’re guarding? Do they want to know? A job is a job, and in this situation, either from a hint from the employer or the words of an old hand, and it doesn’t pay to poke a nose in where it’s not wanted.

So, as you can see, when starting the story, I didn’t give proper thought to the background story, the fact that I could weave another or several storylines intertwined with what will be the master plotline.

What is the master plotline?

I have an idea or two, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.

Let’s stitch together a scenario or two for the back story and see where it takes us. Remember that this was more or less part of the storyline originally in my mind, but may not have been articulated in what I wrote at the time.

Basically, then, we’re dealing with a large industrial site on the outskirts of a city in decline. Everyone can relate to the problematic times we’re in now, but this was written at the height of the last global financial meltdown about fifteen years ago, which caused a deep recession.

Within that framework, a lot of businesses and people went to the wall. Graham and others lost a decent-paying job, as well as their house, having finally got on the property ladder, only to find they couldn’t pay for it.

At the time, he was not alone in that respect. And lenders were not immune either, so there’s a possibility that one or two industrial park owners may not have been entirely legitimate in some of their business dealings, especially after taking heavy financial hits.

In that scenario, there’s always the possibility of insurance fraud as a means of cutting losses, hence the need for security that might be asked to look the other way.

Another possibility could be that empty buildings and enterprising men, or women, fit the category of ‘the devil finds work for idle hands’.

Or someone who recognises an opportunity to make some money. That particular scenario opens the door to a plethora of ideas.

…

‘Sunday in New York’ – A beta reader’s view

I’m not a fan of romance novels but …

There was something about this one that resonated with me.

This is a novel about a world generally ruled by perception, and how people perceive what they see, what they are told, and what they want to believe.

I’ve been guilty of it myself as I’m sure we all have at one time or another.

For the main characters Harry and Alison there are other issues driving their relationship.

For Alison, it is a loss of self-worth through losing her job and from losing her mother and, in a sense, her sister.

For Harry, it is the fact he has a beautiful and desirable wife, and his belief she is the object of other men’s desires, and one in particular, his immediate superior.

Between observation, the less than honest motives of his friends, a lot of jumping to conclusions based on very little fact, and you have the basis of one very interesting story.

When it all comes to a head, Alison finds herself in a desperate situation, she realises only the truth will save their marriage.

But is it all the truth?

What would we do in similar circumstances?

Rarely does a book have me so enthralled that I could not put it down until I knew the result. They might be considered two people who should have known better, but as is often the case, they had to get past what they both thought was the truth.

And the moral of this story, if it could be said there is one, nothing is ever what it seems.

…

Available on Amazon here: amzn.to/2H7ALs8

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Searching for locations: From Toronto, Canada to New York, USA

After arriving latish from Toronto, our arrival was not without its own problems. The room we were allocated was on the 22nd floor and was quite smallish. Not a surprise, but we needed space for three, and with the fold-out bed, it was tight but livable.

Except…

We needed the internet to watch the Maple Leafs ice hockey game. We’d arrive just in time to stream it to the tv.

But…

There was no internet. It was everywhere else in the hotel except our floor.

First, I went to the front desk and they directed me to call tech support.

Second, we called tech support and they told us that the 22nd-floor router had failed and would get someone to look at it.

When?

It turns out it didn’t seem to be a priority. Maybe no one else on the floor had complained

Third, I went downstairs and discussed the lack of progress with the night duty manager, expressing disappointment with the lack of progress.

I also asked if they could not provide the full service that I would like a room rate reduction or a privilege in its place as compensation.

He said he would check it himself.

Fourth, after no further progress, we called the front desk to advise there was still no internet. This time we were asked if we wanted a room on another floor, where the internet is working. We accepted the offer.

The end result, a slightly larger, less cramped room, and the ability to watch the last third of the Maple Leaf’s game. I can’t remember if we won.

We all went to bed reasonably happy.

After all, we didn’t have to get up early to go up or down to breakfast because it was not included in the room rate, a bone of contention considering the cost.

I’ll be booking with them directly next time, at a somewhat cheaper rate, a thing I find after using a travel wholesaler to book it for me.

As always every morning while Rosemary gets ready, I go out for a walk and check out where we are.

It seems we are practically in the heart of theaterland New York. Walk one way or the other you arrive at 7th Avenue or Broadway.

Walk uptown and you reach 42nd Street and Times Square, little more than a 10-minute leisurely stroll. On the way down Broadway, you pass a number of theatres, some recognizable, some not.

Times Square is still a huge collection of giant television screens advertising everything from confectionary to TV shows on the cable networks.

A short walk along 42nd street takes you to the Avenue of the Americas and tucked away, The Rockefeller center and its winter ice rink.

A few more steps take you to 5th Avenue and the shops like Saks of Fifth Avenue, shops you could one day hope to afford to buy something.

In the opposite direction, over Broadway and crossing 8th Avenue is an entrance to Central Park. The approach is not far from what is called the Upper West Side, home to the rich and powerful.

Walk one way in the park, which we did in the afternoon, takes you towards the gift shop and back along a labyrinth of laneways to 5th Avenue. It was a cold, but pleasant, stroll looking for the rich and famous, but, discovering, they were not foolish enough to venture out into the cold.

Before going back to the room, we looked for somewhere to have dinner and ended up in Cassidy’s Irish pub. There was a dining room down the back and we were one of the first to arrive for dinner service.

The first surprise, our waitress was from New Zealand.

The second, the quality of the food.

I had a dish called Steak Lyonnaise which was, in plain words, a form of mince steak in an elongated patty. It was cooked rare as I like my steak and was perfect. It came with a baked potato.

As an entree, we had shrimp, which in our part of the world are prawns, and hot chicken wings, the sauce is hot and served on the side.

The beer wasn’t bad either. Overall given atmosphere, service, and food, it’s a nine out of ten.

It was an excellent way to end the day.