Category: NaNoWriMo

The Things We Do For Love — The final editor’s draft – Day 22

…

After a solid few hours of sleuthing and getting an up close and almost intimate look at the lives of people Henry would never have got to meet in his lifetime, he came away disillusioned and disappointed that they were no further advanced in the quest.

Time out, and a drive to the beach to take in some cooler surroundings and shut away all they’d seen and heard.

Even Radly had to admit he had never scratched the surface, only visiting and thinking nothing of those working there nor of their plight, if it indeed was to be seen that way, or motivation.

There they get a solid break.

Henry sees Michelle with a friend, in a car, purely by accident.  They had exchanged words with a group of boys.

From there it was surveillance and an amateurish attempt at following them in the hope it would leave back to where she lived.

Of course, they’re not up to the task and almost lose her several times, and after she drops off the other girl, they do lose her.

That means going back to the girl she dropped off and asking some pertinent questions.  The trouble is, by the time Henry gets to her, she is almost lost to drugs, but gets an address.

The rescue attempt is afoot – the next night.

…

Mistaken Identity – The Editor’s Third Draft – Day 17

I have been working on the story, the editor is asking for a third draft after making suggested changes – and I’m now working on it

…

What’s it like turning around and not finding your shadow lurking behind you, watching every move.

Down at the stationhouse (it sounds just like what is said on a TV show called Murdoch Mysteries) he finally gets the message across that he’s not the infamous Jacob.

He also suddenly realises that until his doppelganger is brought to justice, this is going to be a new sort of normal for him.

The thing is, how did an exact copy of him walk the earth and no one seem to notice. He was a criminal before, but perhaps he hadn’t killed anyone before. It’s an interesting question.

Meanwhile I;ve been thinking about the connection between the Jack and Jacob, and it seems to me the best, and possibly only explanation, is that his mother’s sister, the one that was supposedly killed in a native attack in Africa, lived on, came back to England, found his mother (her sister) and took the first man she ever loved (and had a child with) away from her, and basically did the same thing.

What are the odds, though, that the same man fathers two identical children, one each from identical twins. Talk about a twist in the tale!

The burning question should be, why didn’t his mother tell him about her twin sister?

It also adds some context to Jack’s sighting of what he thought was his mother and the fact he was bothered about the man with her. Every right to, the man was Jacob.

And his memory is telling him that his aunt was the one who shot him, not the police. It might need to be refined a little more, but the clues are there.

Not a very productive day today.

More tomorrow.

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 21

…

The search goes on.  The names are more exotic, the décor sometimes outrageous, and the girls from interesting to not so interesting.

It certainly isn’t cheap, but Radly said it wouldn’t be.

All of the women in charge either knew Radly, or the Turk, some with displeasure, others, well maybe it was all displeasure.  They were forcibly taken over, and it would make a good subplot to have them all simmering over the take-back plan.

Perhaps that could be part of the end.  It just means that Michelle has to take care of him, and by now I’ve decided that she will be if she can get the help and the means.

Originally, I considered a simple solution, Henry comes along, finds her, and they escape after rescuing two of her friends, and helping bring about the Turk’s downfall.

It just occurred to me that there should be a subplot involving police detectives, coming at the problem from a different aspect, and the two should meet.

Oops, that means a bit of backtracking and a small rewrite.

Now, she’s going to take the Turk and Felix down. 

It might also mean I have to go back to the start, and flesh out a little more of Micelle’s background, leading up to, and why she ended up in Morganville.

Ugh!

Oh, and handing out a photo of her might just raise a little unwanted attention.  We shall see…

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 20

…

For Henry, it’s going to be like walking into the twilight zone.

The odyssey beings at a place called Gringoes. , a place both think is the last place a potential customer would want to be seen, but, that is judging a book by its cover.

Both are going to soon discover there’s a lot more going on than what the eye can see.

This search starts out without a clear plan, and it seems that going in and directly asking for Michelle, which may or may not be her work name or any name for that matter, is going to raise a flag, and may have consequences.

And, Henry, having never been to such places, and despite everything he had read about them, and in that initial foray earlier, is no wiser on how to behave or how to approach the problem.

How much would the girls want just to talk?

It soon becomes a case of hot outside, the night is still simmering from the heat of the day, to hot under the collar inside.

Fortunately, Radly is known.

There are bouncers to appease, madams to charm, and girls to ask innocuous questions.

At least the Turk is not there.

Henry encounters a girl named Suzie, and it’s time for the first dance…

…

Mistaken Identity – The Editor’s Third Draft – Day 17

I have been working on the story, the editor is asking for a third draft after making suggested changes – and I’m now working on it

…

What’s it like turning around and not finding your shadow lurking behind you, watching every move.

Down at the stationhouse (it sounds just like what is said on a TV show called Murdoch Mysteries) he finally gets the message across that he’s not the infamous Jacob.

He also suddenly realises that until his doppelganger is brought to justice, this is going to be a new sort of normal for him.

The thing is, how did an exact copy of him walk the earth and no one seem to notice. He was a criminal before, but perhaps he hadn’t killed anyone before. It’s an interesting question.

Meanwhile I;ve been thinking about the connection between the Jack and Jacob, and it seems to me the best, and possibly only explanation, is that his mother’s sister, the one that was supposedly killed in a native attack in Africa, lived on, came back to England, found his mother (her sister) and took the first man she ever loved (and had a child with) away from her, and basically did the same thing.

What are the odds, though, that the same man fathers two identical children, one each from identical twins. Talk about a twist in the tale!

The burning question should be, why didn’t his mother tell him about her twin sister?

It also adds some context to Jack’s sighting of what he thought was his mother and the fact he was bothered about the man with her. Every right to, the man was Jacob.

And his memory is telling him that his aunt was the one who shot him, not the police. It might need to be refined a little more, but the clues are there.

Not a very productive day today.

More tomorrow.

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 21

…

The search goes on.  The names are more exotic, the décor sometimes outrageous, and the girls from interesting to not so interesting.

It certainly isn’t cheap, but Radly said it wouldn’t be.

All of the women in charge either knew Radly, or the Turk, some with displeasure, others, well maybe it was all displeasure.  They were forcibly taken over, and it would make a good subplot to have them all simmering over the take-back plan.

Perhaps that could be part of the end.  It just means that Michelle has to take care of him, and by now I’ve decided that she will be if she can get the help and the means.

Originally, I considered a simple solution, Henry comes along, finds her, and they escape after rescuing two of her friends, and helping bring about the Turk’s downfall.

It just occurred to me that there should be a subplot involving police detectives, coming at the problem from a different aspect, and the two should meet.

Oops, that means a bit of backtracking and a small rewrite.

Now, she’s going to take the Turk and Felix down. 

It might also mean I have to go back to the start, and flesh out a little more of Micelle’s background, leading up to, and why she ended up in Morganville.

Ugh!

Oh, and handing out a photo of her might just raise a little unwanted attention.  We shall see…

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 21

…

The search goes on.  The names are more exotic, the décor sometimes outrageous, and the girls from interesting to not so interesting.

It certainly isn’t cheap, but Radly said it wouldn’t be.

All of the women in charge either knew Radly, or the Turk, some with displeasure, others, well maybe it was all displeasure.  They were forcibly taken over, and it would make a good subplot to have them all simmering over the take-back plan.

Perhaps that could be part of the end.  It just means that Michelle has to take care of him, and by now I’ve decided that she will be if she can get the help and the means.

Originally, I considered a simple solution, Henry comes along, finds her, and they escape after rescuing two of her friends, and helping bring about the Turk’s downfall.

It just occurred to me that there should be a subplot involving police detectives, coming at the problem from a different aspect, and the two should meet.

Oops, that means a bit of backtracking and a small rewrite.

Now, she’s going to take the Turk and Felix down. 

It might also mean I have to go back to the start, and flesh out a little more of Micelle’s background, leading up to, and why she ended up in Morganville.

Ugh!

Oh, and handing out a photo of her might just raise a little unwanted attention.  We shall see…

…

Mistaken Identity – The Editor’s Third Draft – Day 16

I have been working on the story, the editor is asking for a third draft after making suggested changes – and I’m now working on it

…

Today’s writing is about the results of the police calling on Jack after he reported his house being broken into.

They arrive.

They make the same mistake the Italian police did, mistaking him for Jacob, who since he murdered a woman in the hotel back where the conference was being held, and is still at large.

What would any reasonable person expect?

And along with this revelation is another, that his suspicions about Maryanne were right because the Detective has to let her go on orders from ‘someone connected’.

From this, we can infer that she is either a Homeland Security person whose been looking for, or had Jacob under surveillance before he was killed, or a private detective, though Jack has bigger problems to worry about.

He is being arrested and hauled off to the station for questioning.

And he’s not holding his breath that Maryanne will be doing anything to sort the problem out. She probably has her own problems now that Jack knows who she is, and the fact her mission has been entirely unsuccessful,

And, no, Jack didn’t tell her about the diary, but you can just bet that’s what she’s after.

More tomorrow.

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 20

…

For Henry, it’s going to be like walking into the twilight zone.

The odyssey begins at a place called Gringoes, a place both think is the last place a potential customer would want to be seen, but that is judging a book by its cover.

Both are going to soon discover there’s a lot more going on than what the eye can see.

This search starts out without a clear plan, and it seems that going in and directly asking for Michelle, which may or may not be her work name or any name for that matter, is going to raise a flag, and may have consequences.

And, Henry, having never been to such places, and despite everything he had read about them, and in that initial foray earlier, is no wiser on how to behave or how to approach the problem.

How much would the girls want just to talk?

It soon becomes a case of hot outside, the night is still simmering from the heat of the day, to hot under the collar inside.

Fortunately, Radly is known.

There are bouncers to appease, madams to charm, and girls to ask innocuous questions.

At least the Turk is not there.

Henry encounters a girl named Suzie, and it’s time for the first dance…

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 19

…

It’s time to get some experienced help.

Often Radly his friend from the ship had regaled him with stories of his exploits in the red-light district.  Henry never quite believes most of it, but he was prepared to accept that he might know enough to be of some help.

Henry didn’t want to be visiting the parlours on his own.

But it does mean he has to tell him the true nature of the girl he met and wanted to go after.

Radly is honest, knowing a lot of the girls in the area, most either were not worth the effort, or more likely content with their lot and didn’t want to be rescued.  Poor souls who tried often ended up on the wrong end of a bouncer’s fist.

Exactly what Henry wants to avoid.

So, is Radly up for the challenge.

To find her, yes, but if she is trouble, or in trouble, or likely to cause trouble, then no.

Henry has to be prepared to walk away.

He accepts the conditions, and the quest begins after dark.

…