Category: NaNoWriMo

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 5

…

With the improved weather, they settle into a routine, she is getting comfortable with Henry being around, and he is finally getting out of the shipboard routine, and becoming more relaxed, though still wary of making a mistake.

They go for walks along the beach, and gradually, a form of intimacy takes place, holding hands, at first with gloves on.

Then in a totally unscripted moment from out of left field, they kiss. It just happens ‘in the moment’.  He apologises, and she just smiles.

Given what she has escaped from, it is a sublime moment that gives her the opportunity, against all odds, that it was possible, one day, she could be happy.

It leads to another unscripted moment, but this time a kiss with more meaning behind it.

Henry doesn’t know how to process this event but goes with the flow.  Out of the confines of the town, on a short road trip, they admit they like each other and to not have any expectations that it might go anywhere.

But the ugly truth of her background raises its head with the conversation turning to the future, and Henry puts his foot in it.

As an unexpected result of that feeling he had ruined everything; a hug that, for him, seemed to last a lifetime.

I remember that first kiss, and the moment that led to it, and it left me with butterflies and dread, that eventually it would all fall apart.  It was a passing moment in time, and it taught me one very valuable lesson, leave expectations out of it.  And that flush of first love, there is nothing like it.

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 4

…

That first encounter outside the confines of the hotel has shaken him.  He realises that he really has no understanding of women and that his first love with Jane has done nothing to prepare him.

It only reinforces the notion that he should simply avoid her where possible.

Yet, over dinner, she tells him her story, not the real story, but close enough to the truth.  In doing so, allowing the door to be ajar, she realises this could become complicated very quickly.

And yet, despite her resolution to remain aloof, she is curious.  Who is this Henry?

The beach quickly becomes Henry’s thinking place.  He ruminates on what a friend on board the ship, Radly, might think of his situation.  Radly is a lady’s man and would have swept Michelle off her feet by now.

Michelle reappears, and, curious about him, asks him who he is, those usual questions, where he lives, and what he does.

Why?  If she is only there to hide, why get involved?

…

Mistaken Identity – The Third Editor’s Draft – Day 1

I have been working on the story, the editor has gone through the first draft several times after I made the changes requested, and some new additional writing – and I’m now working on the suggestions

…

It’s a story I’ve often thought about – the notion that you could be mistaken for someone else and that someone else was on the run and wanted by the police.

Of course, finding that first sentence that is going to drag the reader down the rabbit hole of the story to come takes longer than it does to write the first chapter and didn’t survive the editor’s critical eye

But, after a few hours of deliberation, I had to agree with him, and now the game’s afoot.

So, the MC is a travel agent, one who prefers to go on his own tours so that he can truthfully tell his clients what places, hotels, and travel services are really like.

I’ve noticed that when travel writers do reviews, they seem to get different rooms and experiences than us poor travellers, no more noticeable than when we stayed in San Gimignano. The hotel sounded wonderful, and the description of the room overlooking the town square was fantastic. Pity then we were shoved into a small room out the back, overlooking pigeon coops, and a shower that continually broke down.

It’s probably this disappointment that provided some inspiration for the book.

But rather than being a travelogue, I’m adding some mystery, and suspense to make it more readable.

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 5

…

With the improved weather, they settle into a routine, she is getting comfortable with Henry being around, and he is finally getting out of the shipboard routine, and becoming more relaxed, though still wary of making a mistake.

They go for walks along the beach, and gradually, a form of intimacy takes place, holding hands, at first with gloves on.

Then in a totally unscripted moment from out of left field, they kiss. It just happens ‘in the moment’.  He apologises, and she just smiles.

Given what she has escaped from, it is a sublime moment that gives her the opportunity, against all odds, that it was possible, one day, she could be happy.

It leads to another unscripted moment, but this time a kiss with more meaning behind it.

Henry doesn’t know how to process this event but goes with the flow.  Out of the confines of the town, on a short road trip, they admit they like each other and to not have any expectations that it might go anywhere.

But the ugly truth of her background raises its head with the conversation turning to the future, and Henry puts his foot in it.

As an unexpected result of that feeling he had ruined everything; a hug that, for him, seemed to last a lifetime.

I remember that first kiss, and the moment that led to it, and it left me with butterflies and dread, that eventually it would all fall apart.  It was a passing moment in time, and it taught me one very valuable lesson, leave expectations out of it.  And that flush of first love, there is nothing like it.

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 5

…

With the improved weather, they settle into a routine, she is getting comfortable with Henry being around, and he is finally getting out of the shipboard routine, and becoming more relaxed, though still wary of making a mistake.

They go for walks along the beach, and gradually, a form of intimacy takes place, holding hands, at first with gloves on.

Then in a totally unscripted moment from out of left field, they kiss. It just happens ‘in the moment’.  He apologises, and she just smiles.

Given what she has escaped from, it is a sublime moment that gives her the opportunity, against all odds, that it was possible, one day, she could be happy.

It leads to another unscripted moment, but this time a kiss with more meaning behind it.

Henry doesn’t know how to process this event but goes with the flow.  Out of the confines of the town, on a short road trip, they admit they like each other and to not have any expectations that it might go anywhere.

But the ugly truth of her background raises its head with the conversation turning to the future, and Henry puts his foot in it.

As an unexpected result of that feeling he had ruined everything; a hug that, for him, seemed to last a lifetime.

I remember that first kiss, and the moment that led to it, and it left me with butterflies and dread, that eventually it would all fall apart.  It was a passing moment in time, and it taught me one very valuable lesson, leave expectations out of it.  And that flush of first love, there is nothing like it.

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 4

…

That first encounter outside the confines of the hotel has shaken him.  He realises that he really has no understanding of women and that his first love with Jane has done nothing to prepare him.

It only reinforces the notion that he should simply avoid her where possible.

Yet, over dinner, she tells him her story, not the real story, but close enough to the truth.  In doing so, allowing the door to be ajar, she realises this could become complicated very quickly.

And yet, despite her resolution to remain aloof, she is curious.  Who is this Henry?

The beach quickly becomes Henry’s thinking place.  He ruminates on what a friend on board the ship, Radly, might think of his situation.  Radly is a lady’s man and would have swept Michelle off her feet by now.

Michelle reappears, and, curious about him, asks him who he is, those usual questions, where he lives, and what he does.

Why?  If she is only there to hide, why get involved?

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 3

…

Michelle, to Henry, was the proverbial black widow, having arrived with every stitch of clothing black or near enough.

They settle into an uneasy co-existence, by the fire, waiting out the rain and weather, not avoiding meals because it would require explanation, but stumbling over the conversation, mainly because of Henry’s shyness and reserve.

The arrangements come to a head when she goes out and comes back soaked.  She stands by the fire to get warm; Mrs Mac brings a towel for her to dry her face and hair, and here Henry discovers her injuries make it difficult.

He helps but makes a mess of it through inexperience and fear of, yes, making a mess of a moment, which, word-wise, he does.

At this point, we discover a lot more about who she is and why she is there, and why she can never have a relationship, friendship or anything with that enigmatic, shy, boy.

Then the weather breaks.

Alone, Henry goes out to explore the coast, finds a way down to the beach, goes for a walk to be alone with his thoughts, and remembers where he had seen her before.

In magazines, ads.  Not only a model but a lot more.  A woman he realizes he is way out of his depth when with her.

She ventures to the beach, and they talk, he discovers small talk is not something that comes easy and is left in despair at his ineptitude.

I know this feeling from experience, and it makes this story easy.

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 4

…

That first encounter outside the confines of the hotel has shaken him.  He realises that he really has no understanding of women and that his first love with Jane has done nothing to prepare him.

It only reinforces the notion that he should simply avoid her where possible.

Yet, over dinner, she tells him her story, not the real story, but close enough to the truth.  In doing so, allowing the door to be ajar, she realises this could become complicated very quickly.

And yet, despite her resolution to remain aloof, she is curious.  Who is this Henry?

The beach quickly becomes Henry’s thinking place.  He ruminates on what a friend on board the ship, Radly, might think of his situation.  Radly is a lady’s man and would have swept Michelle off her feet by now.

Michelle reappears, and, curious about him, asks him who he is, those usual questions, where he lives, and what he does.

Why?  If she is only there to hide, why get involved?

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 4

…

That first encounter outside the confines of the hotel has shaken him.  He realises that he really has no understanding of women and that his first love with Jane has done nothing to prepare him.

It only reinforces the notion that he should simply avoid her where possible.

Yet, over dinner, she tells him her story, not the real story, but close enough to the truth.  In doing so, allowing the door to be ajar, she realises this could become complicated very quickly.

And yet, despite her resolution to remain aloof, she is curious.  Who is this Henry?

The beach quickly becomes Henry’s thinking place.  He ruminates on what a friend on board the ship, Radly, might think of his situation.  Radly is a lady’s man and would have swept Michelle off her feet by now.

Michelle reappears, and, curious about him, asks him who he is, those usual questions, where he lives, and what he does.

Why?  If she is only there to hide, why get involved?

…

The Things We Do For Love – The final editor’s draft – Day 3

…

Michelle, to Henry, was the proverbial black widow, having arrived with every stitch of clothing black or near enough.

They settle into an uneasy co-existence, by the fire, waiting out the rain and weather, not avoiding meals because it would require explanation, but stumbling over the conversation, mainly because of Henry’s shyness and reserve.

The arrangements come to a head when she goes out and comes back soaked.  She stands by the fire to get warm; Mrs Mac brings a towel for her to dry her face and hair, and here Henry discovers her injuries make it difficult.

He helps but makes a mess of it through inexperience and fear of, yes, making a mess of a moment, which, word-wise, he does.

At this point, we discover a lot more about who she is and why she is there, and why she can never have a relationship, friendship or anything with that enigmatic, shy, boy.

Then the weather breaks.

Alone, Henry goes out to explore the coast, finds a way down to the beach, goes for a walk to be alone with his thoughts, and remembers where he had seen her before.

In magazines, ads.  Not only a model but a lot more.  A woman he realizes he is way out of his depth when with her.

She ventures to the beach, and they talk, he discovers small talk is not something that comes easy and is left in despair at his ineptitude.

I know this feeling from experience, and it makes this story easy.

…