‘What Sets Us Apart’ – A beta readers view

There’s something to be said for a story that starts like a James Bond movie, throwing you straight in the deep end, a perfect way of getting to know the main character, David, or is that Alistair?

A retired spy, well not so much a spy as a retired errand boy, David’s rather wry description of his talents, and a woman that most men would give their left arm for, not exactly the ideal couple, but there is a spark in a meeting that may or may not have been a setup.

But as the story progressed, the question I kept asking myself was why he’d bother.

And, page after unrelenting page, you find out.

Susan is exactly the sort of woman to pique his interest.  Then, inexplicably, she disappears.  That might have been the end to it, but Prendergast, that shadowy enigma, David’s ex-boss who loves playing games with real people, gives him an ultimatum, find her or come back to work.

Nothing like an offer that’s a double-edged sword!

A dragon for a mother, a sister he didn’t know about, Susan’s BFF who is not what she seems or a friend indeed, and Susan’s father who, up till David meets her, couldn’t be less interested, his nemesis proves to be the impossible dream, and he’s always just that one step behind.

When the rollercoaster finally came to a halt, and I could start breathing again, it was an ending that was completely unexpected.

I’ve been told there’s a sequel in the works.

Bring it on!

…

The book can be purchased here:  http://amzn.to/2Eryfth

…

“Trouble in Store” – Short stories my way:  More on the policewoman

I’ve been looking at the role of the policewoman, and her interaction with the shop’s participants.

I’m still working on whether she needs more or less of an introduction, but, for the time being, this is what I’m going with:

…

It had been another long day at the office for Officer Margaret O’Donnell, or, out in the streets, coping with people who either didn’t know or didn’t care about the law.

People who couldn’t cross the road where there were crossings and lights to protect them, silly girls shoplifting on a dare, and boys who thought they were men and could walk on water.

The one they scraped of the road would never get to grow up, and his mother, well, she was not doing another call on a family to give them the bad news.

That was her day.

So far.

At the end of the day, she was glad to be getting home, putting her feet up, and forgetting about everything until the next morning when it would start all over again.

Coming around that last corner, the home stretch she called it, she was directly opposite the corner shop, usually closed at this hour of the night.  It was not.  The lights were still on.

She looked at her watch and saw it was ten minutes to midnight, and long past closing time.  She looked through the window, but from the other side of the road, she could only see three heads and little else.

Damn, she thought, I’m going to have to check it out. 

She was aware of the rumors, from her co-residents and also her colleagues down at the station, rumors she hoped were not true.

© Charles Heath 2016-2020

The cinema of my dreams – Was it just another surveillance job – Episode 60

This story is now on the list to be finished so over the new few weeks, expect a new episode every few days.

The reason why new episodes have been sporadic, there are also other stories to write, and I’m not very good at prioritizing.

But, here we are, a few minutes opened up and it didn’t take long to get back into the groove.

Things are about to get complicated…


Joanne let me get away far too easily. 

When I got back to my car, I ran the scanner over it.  One tracker was easily found, another that took a full half hour to find, and some very strange stares from people on the sidewalk.

I put them both on another car and then went back to the safe house.  Knowing O’Connell was just a pawn meant there wasn’t a hurry to find him.  Anna had everything she needed from him, and now he was of little use to her.  The only question was whether he was still alive.

Jennifer had taken my pyjamas and my bed in the master bedroom, so I was relegated to the spare. 

Not happy.

We needed a plan.  In all the excitement I’d forgotten O’Connell had three places, the original apartment with Herman, his mother’s house in Peaslake, and the apartment in Bromley.

I was up before Jennifer, making coffee, when she came out.

She made my pyjamas look good.  And there was the distraction factor Maury was prone to banging on about.

“How did it go at the office?”

“Turns out Anna Jakovich, the apparent seller of the USB, is a biochemist herself, one who was involved in a laboratory disaster, and discharged as part of the problem.  Make of that what you will, but it looks like her husband was just the fall guy.”

“Of course, it all makes sense then.  Gets the husband to steal the data on the pretext they’re saving the world, then kills him, and pins the blame on him if anything goes wrong. gets us to stump up several million pounds, then ditches O’Connell and runs with the money, and the USB, to bilk another unsuspecting government, like the Russians, or the Chinese.”

“Can you read minds?”

“No.  Got a call from Dobbin, though I have no idea how he found my number since it’s a burner.  Seems he finally found the file on Anna, presumably the same one you got.

“He doesn’t know you’re involved.”

“He does now.  He figured you’d seek help from your classmates that were still on the books.  There’s two of us, me and Miss Desirable, Yolanda.”

“Didn’t she leave the Severin School of wannabes before qualifying?”

“And went straight to the city office of the department and offered up all details on our once fearless leaders for a second chance.  On the books, and back in training, training we might be able to use.”

“Possibly.  The question is, of course, whether she knew what they were planning…”

“Dobbin says she was fooling about with Severin, or perhaps that was Maury…”

“Then Dobbin or Monica or both knew in advance what was going to happen and could have prevented a tragedy if that was the case.  I don’t think she quite knew everything.”

“Well, what I know now is that we’re simply pawns in a much larger game, dancing to a tune that is completely out of key.  Makes things all the more interesting, don’t you think.  By my estimation when we complete our mission, we’re likely to end up like Severin, we just have to work out which one it is before we reach our expiry date.  That coffee smells divine, by the way.  We’re not going anywhere until I’ve had a cup.”

At least she hadn’t decided to go back to her old life.  Not yet anyway.

We tackled Peaslake first.  It was a free-standing house, and we had reasonably covered access that gave us entry to the property with minimal chance of observation.

When we were close, I was nearly run off the road by a fire engine, in a hurry.  Closer still we could see a plume of smoke rising from behind the trees, and when we reached the top of the street, we could see where the fire engine was going.

O’Connell’s house was on fire.

I parled the car and we went to join the throng of nearby residents, all with nothing better to do.

“What happened?” Jennifer asked one of the residents.

“There was an explosion, a fireball, someone said they thought it was a gas tank, and then a fire started.  It was fully ablaze by the time the first fire engine arrived.”

The firefighters had most of the blaze subdued, and we could see the house was destroyed. 

Was it Anna or O’Connell, or both covering their tracks?  The house had become compromised when Jennifer and I turned up.

Five minutes later the Detective Inspector and her Sargent arrived.

“Should I be worried now you’re here,” she asked when she saw me.

“It belonged to the mother of one of our officers who is involved in the case I’m working on.”

“He has the information?”

“No, or maybe.  We don’t know.  We do know there’s a woman involved who was working with our agent.”

“Oh.  I’ve been told there are two bodies found inside, one man and one woman.  Nothing else yet, but I’m going to talk to the forensic team waiting to see if they know any more.  Don’t go anywhere, I may need to talk to you.”

“Just a question.  You didn’t let Jan out, did you?”

She looked puzzled.  “Jan?”

“The girl who shot Severin.”

“Oh, her.  MI5 came and took her away the moment my back was turned.  Why?”

“She probably did this.”

“You might have told me she was dangerous.  Who is she?”

“An MI5 assassin.”

She sighed.  “You people are a law unto yourselves.  Don’t go anywhere.  I’ll be back.”

We watched her stomp away.

“Well,” Jennifer said, “that just made our life a little more difficult.”

…

© Charles Heath 2020-2023

Mistaken Identity – The Final Editor’s Draft – Day 25

This book has finally reached the Final Editor’s draft, so this month it is going to get the last revision, and a reread for the beta readers.

…

Planning was the order of the day, and I needed to see where this story was going.

Firstly, a meeting with Maryanne’s handler will give some perspective on what might be in the mysterious diary.

After rescuing Jack’s mother, Jack has a host of questions; about his biological father, who he was, and what happened to him when he was sent to prison.

Jack makes further contact with his biological father, now that his mother is free, and considers a meeting, but he has to be careful where and when.

This meeting, if it happens, is to get some insight into who is after the diary, and for Jack to possibly mediate a resolution between all of the people who are after it.

It’s naïve of him to think he can tread a path between them and not get hurt in the process, but people do foolish things.

Remember that Rosalie is still out there with the diary and there might be/will be a concerted effort to find her. McCallister, the people who want the diary, Jack’s mother (now regretting dragging Jack into her problems), Maryanne, and Jacob are looking for her.

There might be a possibility that Rosalie might read the diary, and then tell Jack – an eventuality that might cause more trouble.

Jacob is out there, very close, watching Jack, thinking Jack will lead him to the diary. Jack is going to ask McCallister to tell him about Jacob, though I’m not sure whether I want him to consider the possibility of talking to him about the past.

Where is Jack’s mother’s twin (Her name is Chloe), and what is she doing? The last time Jack saw her, she was tied up in the empty apartment building. The conversation with her didn’t go so well.

…

Now, possible outcomes:

Jack’s mother isn’t Jack’s mother but Chloe masquerading as her,

Rosalie does in fact get caught, because she foolishly decided to find Jack and tell him what’s in the diary,

Jack’s meeting with McCallister is interrupted by both Maryanne and Jacob, bullets fly, and people get injured,

Jack’s mother is not the innocent she pretends to be,

Jack’s life is far from what he thought it was.

…

This story is going to be finished within the time limit, and the estimated 60,000 words.

NANOWRIMO – April 2024 – “The One That Got Away” – Day 30

Well, it’s done.

…

I changed the order and put the events leading to her death at the start as part one.

Part two is the story from Michael’s perspective, and part three is the detectives on a mission to find the killer.

I’m still not sure if I really do want to kill her, or whether I just make it so that she has to go away and live off the grid somewhere with the love of her life.

Does anyone still believe in happy endings?

Oddly this story has also been an emotional roller coaster though I can’t say why.  Something in it resonates.  Parts of the story brought me to a halt, and though I could feel the pain of Michael’s anguish. Or that helplessness of Howards, I rather think I knew what that was like.

I have been there. And it brought back memories that I thought I had buried.  I guess they do not go away, just lie dormant until another day.

But for the moment, it’s done, and it will go into the basket to be revisited in six months.  Perhaps then I will understand what it is that connects me to this story.

…

Words today, 1,778 for a total of 55,065

An excerpt from “Sunday in New York”

Now available on Amazon at:  https://amzn.to/2H7ALs8

…

Williams’ Restaurant, East 65th Street, New York, Saturday, 8:00 p.m.

We met the Blaine’s at Williams’, a rather upmarket restaurant that the Blaine’s frequently visited, and had recommended.

Of course, during the taxi ride there, Alison reminded me that with my new job, we would be able to go to many more places like Williams’.  It was, at worst, more emotional blackmail, because as far as Alison was concerned, we were well on our way to posh restaurants, the Trump Tower Apartments, and the trappings of the ‘executive set’.

It would be a miracle if I didn’t strangle Elaine before the night was over.  It was she who had filled Alison’s head with all this stuff and nonsense.

Aside from the half frown half-smile, Alison was looking stunning.  It was months since she had last dressed up, and she was especially wearing the dress I’d bought her for our 5th anniversary that cost a month’s salary.  On her, it was worth it, and I would have paid more if I had to.  She had adored it, and me, for a week or so after.

For tonight, I think I was close to getting back on that pedestal.

She had the looks and figure to draw attention, the sort movie stars got on the red carpet, and when we walked into the restaurant, I swear there were at least five seconds silence, and many more gasps.

Even I had a sudden loss of breath earlier in the evening when she came out of the dressing room.  Once more I was reminded of how lucky I was that she had agreed to marry me.  Amid all those self-doubts, I couldn’t believe she had loved me when there were so many others ‘out there’ who were more appealing.

Elaine was out of her seat and came over just as the Head Waiter hovered into sight.  She personally escorted Alison to the table, allowing me to follow like the Queen’s consort, while she and Alison basked in the admiring glances of the other patrons.

More than once I heard the muted question, “Who is she?”

Jimmy stood, we shook hands, and then we sat together.  It was not the usual boy, girl, boy, girl seating arrangement.  Jimmy and I on one side and Elaine and Alison on the other.

The battle lines were drawn.

Jimmy was looking fashionable, with the permanent blade one beard, unkempt hair, and designer dinner suit that looked like he’d slept in it.  Alison insisted I wear a tuxedo, and I looked like the proverbial penguin or just a thinner version of Alfred Hitchcock.

The bow tie had been slightly crooked, but just before we stepped out she had straightened it.  And took the moment to look deeply into my soul.  It was one of those moments when words were not necessary.

Then it was gone.

I relived it briefly as I sat and she looked at me.  A penetrating look that told me to ‘behave’.

When we were settled, Elaine said, in that breathless, enthusiastic manner of hers when she was excited, “So, Harry, you are finally moving up.”  It was not a question, but a statement.

I was not sure what she meant by ‘finally’ but I accepted it with good grace.  Sometimes Elaine was prone to using figures of speech I didn’t understand.  I guessed she was talking about the new job.  “It was supposed to be a secret.”

She smiled widely.  “There are no secrets between Al and I, are there Al?”

I looked at ‘Al’ and saw a brief look of consternation.

I was not sure Alison liked the idea of being called Al.  I tried it once and was admonished.  But it was interesting her ‘best friend forever’ was allowed that distinction when I was not.  It was, perhaps, another indicator of how far I’d slipped in her estimation.

Perhaps, I thought, it was a necessary evil.  As I understood it, the Blaine’s were our mentors at the Trump Tower, because they didn’t just let ‘anyone’ in.  I didn’t ask if the Blaine’s thought we were just ‘anyone’ before I got the job offer.

And then there was that look between Alison and Elaine, quickly stolen before Alison realized I was looking at both of them.  I was out of my depth, in a place I didn’t belong, with people I didn’t understand.  And yet, apparently, Alison did.  I must have missed the memo.

“No,” Alison said softly, stealing a glance in my direction, “No secrets between friends.”

No secrets.  Her look conveyed something else entirely.

The waiter brought champagne, Krug, and poured glasses for each of us.  It was not the cheap stuff, and I was glad I brought a couple of thousand dollars with me.  We were going to need it.

Then, a toast.

To a new job and a new life.

“When did you decide?”  Elaine was effusive at the best of times, but with the champagne, it was worse.

Alison had a strange expression on her face.  It was obvious she had told Elaine it was a done deal, even before I’d made up my mind.  Perhaps she’d assumed I might be ‘refreshingly honest’ in front of Elaine, but it could also mean she didn’t really care what I might say or do.

Instead of consternation, she looked happy, and I realized it would be churlish, even silly if I made a scene.  I knew what I wanted to say.  I also knew that it would serve little purpose provoking Elaine, or upsetting Alison.  This was not the time or the place.  Alison had been looking forward to coming here, and I was not going to spoil it.

Instead, I said, smiling, “When I woke up this morning and found Alison missing.  If she had been there, I would not have noticed the water stain on the roof above our bed, and decide there and then how much I hated the place.” I used my reassuring smile, the one I used with the customers when all hell was breaking loose, and the forest fire was out of control.  “It’s the little things.  They all add up until one day …”  I shrugged.  “I guess that one day was today.”

I saw an incredulous look pass between Elaine and Alison, a non-verbal question; perhaps, is he for real?  Or; I told you he’d come around.

I had no idea the two were so close.

“How quaint,” Elaine said, which just about summed up her feelings towards me.  I think, at that moment, I lost some brownie points.  It was all I could come up with at short notice.

“Yes,” I added, with a little more emphasis than I wanted.  “Alison was off to get some study in with one of her friends.”

“Weren’t the two of you off to the Hamptons, a weekend with some friends?” Jimmy piped up, and immediately got the ‘shut up you fool’ look, that cut that line of conversation dead.  Someone forgot to feed Jimmy his lines.

It was followed by the condescending smile from Elaine, and “I need to powder my nose.  Care to join me, Al?”

A frown, then a forced smile for her new best friend.  “Yes.”

I watched them leave the table and head in the direction of the restroom, looking like they were in earnest conversation.  I thought ‘Al’ looked annoyed, but I could be wrong.

I had to say Jimmy looked more surprised than I did.

There was that odd moment of silence between us, Jimmy still smarting from his death stare, and for me, the Alison and Elaine show.  I was quite literally gob-smacked.

I drained my champagne glass gathering some courage and turned to him.  “By the way, we were going to have a weekend away, but this legal tutorial thing came up.  You know Alison is doing her law degree.”

He looked startled when he realized I had spoken.  He was looking intently at a woman several tables over from us, one who’d obviously forgotten some basic garments when getting dressed.  Or perhaps it was deliberate.  She’d definitely had some enhancements done.

He dragged his eyes back to me.  “Yes.  Elaine said something or other about it.  But I thought she said the tutor was out of town and it had been postponed until next week.  Perhaps I got it wrong.  I usually do.”

“Perhaps I’ve got it wrong.”  I shrugged, as the dark thoughts started swirling in my head again.  “This week or next, what does it matter?”

Of course, it mattered to me, and I digested what he said with a sinking heart.  It showed there was another problem between Alison and me; it was possible she was now telling me lies.  If what he said was true and I had no reason to doubt him, where was she going tomorrow morning, and had she really been with a friend studying today?

We poured some more champagne, had a drink, then he asked, “This promotion thing, what’s it worth?”

“Trouble, I suspect.  Definitely more money, but less time at home.”

“Oh,” raised eyebrows.  Obviously, the women had not talked about the job in front of him, or, at least, not all the details.  “You sure you want to do that?”

At last the voice of reason.  “Me?  No.”

“Yet you accepted the job.”

I sucked in a breath or two while I considered whether I could trust him.  Even if I couldn’t, I could see my ship was sinking, so it wouldn’t matter what I told him, or what Elaine might find out from him.  “Jimmy, between you and me I haven’t as yet decided one way or another.  To be honest, I won’t know until I go up to Barclay’s office and he asks me the question.”

“Barclay?”

“My boss.”

“Elaine’s doing a job for a Barclay that recently moved in the tower a block down from us.  I thought I recognized the name.”

“How did Elaine get the job?”

“Oh, Alison put him onto her.”

“When?”

“A couple of months ago.  Why?”

I shrugged and tried to keep a straight face, while my insides were churning up like the wake of a supertanker.  I felt sick, faint, and wanting to die all at the same moment.  “Perhaps she said something about it, but it didn’t connect at the time.  Too busy with work I expect.  I think I seriously need to get away for a while.”

I could hardly breathe, my throat was constricted and I knew I had to keep it together.  I could see Elaine and Alison coming back, so I had to calm down.  I sucked in some deep breaths, and put my ‘manage a complete and utter disaster’ look on my face.

And I had to change the subject, quickly, so I said, “Jimmy, Elaine told Alison, who told me, you were something of a guru of the cause and effects of the global economic meltdown.  Now, I have a couple of friends who have been expounding this theory …”

Like flicking a switch, I launched into the well-worn practice of ‘running a distraction’, like at work when we needed to keep the customer from discovering the truth.  It was one of the things I was good at, taking over a conversation and pushing it in a different direction.  It was salvaging a good result from an utter disaster, and if ever there was a time that it was required, it was right here, right now.

When Alison sat down and looked at me, she knew something had happened between Jimmy and I.  I might have looked pale or red-faced, or angry or disappointed, it didn’t matter.  If that didn’t seal the deal for her, the fact I took over the dining engagement did.  She knew well enough the only time I did that was when everything was about to go to hell in a handbasket.  She’d seen me in action before and had been suitably astonished.

But I got into gear, kept the champagne flowing and steered the conversation, as much as one could from a seasoned professional like Elaine, and, I think, in Jimmy’s eyes, he saw the battle lines and knew who took the crown on points.  Neither Elaine nor Jimmy suspected anything, and if the truth be told, I had improved my stocks with Elaine.  She was at times both surprised and interested, even willing to take a back seat.

Alison, on the other hand, tried poking around the edges, and, once when Elaine and Jimmy had got up to have a cigarette outside, questioned me directly.  I chose to ignore her, and pretend nothing had happened, instead of telling her how much I was enjoying the evening.

She had her ‘secrets’.  I had mine.

At the end of the evening, when I got up to go to the bathroom, I was physically sick from the pent up tension and the implications of what Jimmy had told me.  It took a while for me to pull myself together; so long, in fact, Jimmy came looking for me.  I told him I’d drunk too much champagne, and he seemed satisfied with that excuse.  When I returned, both Alison and Elaine noticed how pale I was but neither made any comment.

It was a sad way to end what was supposed to be a delightful evening, which to a large degree it was for the other three.  But I had achieved what I set out to do, and that was to play them at their own game, watching the deception, once I knew there was a deception, as warily as a cat watches its prey.

I had also discovered Jimmy’s real calling; a professor of economics at the same University Alison was doing her law degree.  It was no surprise in the end, on a night where surprises abounded, that the world could really be that small.

We parted in the early hours of the morning, a taxi whisking us back to the Lower East Side, another taking the Blaine’s back to the Upper West Side.  But, in our case, as Alison reminded me, it would not be for much longer.  She showed concern for my health, asked me what was wrong.  It took all the courage I could muster to tell her it was most likely something I ate and the champagne, and that I would be fine in the morning.

She could see quite plainly it was anything other than what I told her, but she didn’t pursue it.  Perhaps she just didn’t care what I was playing at.

And yet, after everything that had happened, once inside our ‘palace’, the events of the evening were discarded, like her clothing, and she again reminded me of what we had together in the early years before the problems had set in.

It left me confused and lost.

I couldn’t sleep because my mind had now gone down that irreversible path that told me I was losing her, that she had found someone else, and that our marriage was in its last death throes.

And now I knew it had something to do with Barclay.

© Charles Heath 2015-2020

Sunday In New York

Skeletons in the closet, and doppelgangers

A story called “Mistaken Identity”

…

How many of us have skeletons in the closet that we know nothing about? The skeletons we know about generally stay there, but those we do not, well, they have a habit of coming out of left field when we least expect it.

In this case, when you see your photo on a TV screen with the accompanying text that says you are wanted by every law enforcement agency in Europe, you’re in a state of shock, only to be compounded by those same police, armed and menacing, kicking the door down.

I’d been thinking about this premise for a while after I discovered my mother had a boyfriend before she married my father, a boyfriend who was, by all accounts, the man who was the love of her life.

Then, in terms of coming up with an idea for a story, what if she had a child by him that we didn’t know about, which might mean I had a half brother or sister I knew nothing about. It’s not an uncommon occurrence from what I’ve been researching.

There are many ways of putting a spin on this story.

Then, in the back of my mind, I remembered a story an acquaintance at work was once telling us over morning tea, that a friend of a friend had a mother who had a twin sister and that each of the sisters had a son by the same father, without each knowing of the father’s actions, both growing up without the other having any knowledge of their half brother, only to meet by accident on the other side of the world.

It was an encounter that in the scheme of things might never have happened, and each would have remained oblivious of the other.

For one sister, the relationship was over before she discovered she was pregnant, and therefore had not told the man he was a father. It was no surprise the relationship foundered when she discovered he was also having a relationship with her sister, a discovery that caused her to cut all ties with both of them and never speak to either from that day.

It’s a story with more twists and turns than a country lane!

And a great idea for a story.

That story is called ‘Mistaken Identity’.

Mistaken Identity – The Final Editor’s Draft – Day 25

This book has finally reached the Final Editor’s draft, so this month it is going to get the last revision, and a reread for the beta readers.

…

Planning was the order of the day, and I needed to see where this story was going.

Firstly, a meeting with Maryanne’s handler will give some perspective on what might be in the mysterious diary.

After rescuing Jack’s mother, Jack has a host of questions; about his biological father, who he was, and what happened to him when he was sent to prison.

Jack makes further contact with his biological father, now that his mother is free, and considers a meeting, but he has to be careful where and when.

This meeting, if it happens, is to get some insight into who is after the diary, and for Jack to possibly mediate a resolution between all of the people who are after it.

It’s naïve of him to think he can tread a path between them and not get hurt in the process, but people do foolish things.

Remember that Rosalie is still out there with the diary and there might be/will be a concerted effort to find her. McCallister, the people who want the diary, Jack’s mother (now regretting dragging Jack into her problems), Maryanne, and Jacob are looking for her.

There might be a possibility that Rosalie might read the diary, and then tell Jack – an eventuality that might cause more trouble.

Jacob is out there, very close, watching Jack, thinking Jack will lead him to the diary. Jack is going to ask McCallister to tell him about Jacob, though I’m not sure whether I want him to consider the possibility of talking to him about the past.

Where is Jack’s mother’s twin (Her name is Chloe), and what is she doing? The last time Jack saw her, she was tied up in the empty apartment building. The conversation with her didn’t go so well.

…

Now, possible outcomes:

Jack’s mother isn’t Jack’s mother but Chloe masquerading as her,

Rosalie does in fact get caught, because she foolishly decided to find Jack and tell him what’s in the diary,

Jack’s meeting with McCallister is interrupted by both Maryanne and Jacob, bullets fly, and people get injured,

Jack’s mother is not the innocent she pretends to be,

Jack’s life is far from what he thought it was.

…

This story is going to be finished within the time limit, and the estimated 60,000 words.

“Trouble in Store” – Short stories my way:  Adding some back story for clarity

I have reworked the first part of the story with a few new elements about the characters and changed a few of the details of how the characters finish up in the shop before the policewoman makes her entrance.

This is part of the new first section is the one that involves the shopkeeper`:

  

This wasn’t the shopkeeper’s first hold up.  In fact, over the years there had been a dozen.  But only one got reported to the police, and that was only because the robber was shot and killed.

He’d taken a bullet that night, too, which, from the police point of view, made him a concerned citizen simply defending himself.

The rest had been scared off by the double-barrel shotgun he kept under the counter for just such emergencies.

The young punk who came into the shop with his girlfriend had pulled out the pistol and told him if he reached for the shotgun he’d shoot him.  The kid looked unstable and he’d backed away.

When the kid collapsed, he should have gone for the shotgun, but instead, he thought he could get to the gun before the girl realized what was happened.  She wasn’t an addict and clearly looked like she was only along for the ride.  Her expression, when the kid pulled out the gun told him she’d known nothing about her partner’s true intentions.

But, he wasn’t fast enough, and she had the gun pointing at him before he’d got past the counter.

From one pair of unpredictable hands to another.

Like the girl, he was just as surprised when the customer burst in the door, just before closing time.

The situation might have been salvageable before the customer came in the door, getting the girl to go along with the robbery being about money, but there was no denying what the kid on the floor’s problem was.

Damn.

He had to try and salvage the situation simply because there was a lot of money involved, and other people depending on him.  He looked at the boy, on the floor, then the girl.

“Listen to me, young lady, you would be well advised to let this man go as he suggests.  And, please put the gun down before someone gets hurt.  Your friend needs medical help and I can call an ambulance.”

The girl switched her attention back to him.  “No one’s going anywhere, so just shut the hell up and let me think.”

The storekeeper glanced over at the customer. 

He’d seen him come into the shop once or twice, probably lived in the neighborhood, the sort who’d make a reliable witness, either a lawyer or an accountant.  Not like most of the residents just beyond the fringe of respectability.

If only he hadn’t burst into the shop when he did.

© Charles Heath 2016-2020

The cinema of my dreams – Was it just another surveillance job – Episode 59

This story is now on the list to be finished so over the new few weeks, expect a new episode every few days.

The reason why new episodes have been sporadic, there are also other stories to write, and I’m not very good at prioritizing.

But, here we are, a few minutes opened up and it didn’t take long to get back into the groove.

Things are about to get complicated…


With Jan safely in custody, probably for about 15 minutes when Dobbin discovered she was in police hands, Jennifer and I were free to chase up O’Connell and maybe we would also find Anna.

It was a long shot at best.

But we had to find out more about Anna Jacovich.  For that, we would have to go back to the office and talk to Joanne.  I told Jennifer what I intended to do and dropped her at the safe house for some much-needed rest before we went after O’Connell.

Then, back in the car, I called the number I had for Joanne.

“Sam.”

“Memorised my number?”

“I like to know who’s calling before I answer.”

“Then this isn’t a restricted line?”

“Restricted enough.”

“I found your little toy?”

Did I hear a sigh? 

“You know the world we live in Sam, trust no one not even your mother.  Hard for me to trust or not trust her, she passed away when I was seven.  Monica said you were good.  What can I do for you?”

“A full workup on Anna Jacovich.  I’m coming into the office now, and will be there in about half an hour.”

“No pressure then?”

“Not at all.”

“Try not to irritate security this time.”

I’m sure I saw a grim expression on the face of the soldier that had been there the last time I tried to run the gauntlet, and then disappointment when my card worked.  I signed in and put the name of the department I was visiting down as Research.

When he asked for a name, I gave him Joanne’s.  No doubt he would call her long before I got to her.

She met me at the second level of defence and then took me to a room where two folders sat at opposite ends of a table, two desk lamps shining light down on them.  The rest of the room was in darkness.

When she shut the door, I said, “Please tell me there in;t a firing squad in black camouflage just waiting to shoot me.”

She smiled.  “If it was more sensitive information, I’d let you read it, then have you shot.  Not today.

That was a relief.  Oddly, I believed that she would if the circumstances warranted it.  Joanne was scary, nor scary than Jan.  It’s the quiet ones you had to worry about.”

We sat.

“Read. Then I’ll answer questions.”

For the ten minutes, it took me to discover that Anna was a biochemist herself, and had worked in a not-so-secret government laboratory that had been unmasked with disastrous results, adding another dimension to the problem.  I was beginning to think she might be the one who created the monster and had set her husband up to take the blame.

If that was the case, she was never going to pass it on to O’Connell or sell it to him, other than to take the money and run.  If that was the case, Severin knew it was her all along, and how dangerous she was.

But and there was a big but in all of this.  She needed an accomplice to get to England, which was O’Connell.  Now he was no longer needed…

Yes, she would also need both Severin and Maury off her tail, and that had been taken care of.

Jan?  Unless I completely misread her, it was not possible she could be the accomplice; she was doing what Dobbin requested.  Or had she?  Dobbin did say she was able to make executive decisions on the fly.

“The threat isn’t O’Connell.  He’s just a pawn.”

“Not just a pretty face then?”

“I never regard my face as pretty.”

She shook her head.  “It’s Anna.  She played Severin and Maury, she played Dobbin, and she played Dobbin’s little toy soldier, O’Connell.  Or Quigley I believe his real name is.  I hesitate to say O’Connell played you.”

“Call a dog a dog, Joanne.  If I had more experience and more information I might have seen that.  You can’t keep people in the dark, and then expect miracles.”

“I’m the messenger, Sam.”

“I’ve been known to shoot messengers, just because I can.”

“Save your bullets for the bad guys.”

“How do I know you and Monica are not the bad guys?”

Another shake of the head.  “OK.  You’ve passed the scepticism test, Sam.  Now put it away.  We have to work together on this.  It’s a condition for continuing to work on the case.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I don’t need to answer that.  But, I get it.  You’re a self-starter and will keep at it, with or without us.  I can see why people like you.  To me, your just another dangerous amateur.”

There were words I could say, but judging by the reek of self-aggrandisement, it would not penetrate the thick hide.

I smiled.  “Not noted for your charm then.”

“No.  Where is Jan?”

“Who?”

“Don’t play games, Sam.  They don’t become you.  You went to see Severin, but he ended up dead, and she shot him.  Why?”

“You read this file?”  I picked it up and dropped it on the table.

She was the sort that read the first page, the preamble, and the last page, the result or desired result.

“I did.”

“Then you know why, as for Jan, if you know I was there when Severin was shot, you’d know where Jan is.”

“She disappeared into the trees.  And no doubt in the wind.  You should know she’s a trained MI5 assassin on loan to Dobbin.”

Who was now in jail somewhere pending the Detective Inspectors leisure, unless she filed a report.  If she did, she would be out now, and looking for O’Connell and Anna.

“Then how should I know?”

She shrugged.  “I thought I’d ask.  I’m not sure I like having to peel away the layers of this story one by one.”

“Be more forthcoming.”  I stood.  I had what I needed.  “If that’s all, I’ll go on with the job.”

“O’Connell?”

“He’s probably dead by now, but I have to find him, one way or another.”

“Keep me in the loop.  Monica wants to know.”

“Of course.”

…

© Charles Heath 2020-2023