An excerpt from “The Devil You Don’t”

Available on Amazon Kindle here:  https://amzn.to/2Xyh1ow

By the time I returned to the Savoie, the rain had finally stopped, and there was a streak of blue sky to offer some hope the day would improve.

The ship was not crowded, the possibility of bad weather perhaps holding back potential passengers.  Of those I saw, a number of them would be aboard for the lunch by Phillippe Chevrier.  I thought about it, but the Concierge had told me about several restaurants in Yvoire and had given me a hand-drawn map of the village.  I think he came from the area because he spoke with the pride and knowledge of a resident.

I was looking down from the upper deck observing the last of the boarding passengers when I saw a woman, notable for her red coat and matching shoes, making a last-minute dash to get on board just before the gangway was removed.  In fact, her ungainly manner of boarding had also captured a few of the other passenger’s attention.  Now they would have something else to talk about, other than the possibility of further rain.

I saw her smile at the deckhand, but he did not smile back.  He was not impressed with her bravado, perhaps because of possible injury.  He looked at her ticket then nodded dismissively, and went back to his duties in getting the ship underway.  I was going to check the departure time, but I, like the other passengers, had my attention diverted to the woman in red.

From what I could see there was something about her.  It struck me when the light caught her as she turned to look down the deck, giving me a perfect profile.  I was going to say she looked foreign, but here, as in almost anywhere in Europe, that described just about everyone.  Perhaps I was just comparing her to Phillipa, so definitively British, whereas this woman was very definitely not.

She was perhaps in her 30’s, slim or perhaps the word I’d use was lissom, and had the look and manner of a model.  I say that because Phillipa had dragged me to most of the showings, whether in Milan, Rome, New York, London, or Paris.  The clothes were familiar, and in the back of my mind, I had a feeling I’d seen her before.

Or perhaps, to me, all models looked the same.

She looked up in my direction, and before I could divert my eyes, she locked on.  I could feel her gaze boring into me, and then it was gone as if she had been looking straight through me.  I remained out on deck as the ship got underway, watching her disappear inside the cabin.  My curiosity was piqued, so I decided to keep an eye out for her.

I could feel the coolness of the air as the ship picked up speed, not that it was going to be very fast.  With stops, the trip would take nearly two hours to get to my destination.  It would turn back almost immediately, but I was going to stay until the evening when it returned at about half eight.  It would give me enough time to sample the local fare, and take a tour of the medieval village.

Few other passengers ventured out on the deck, most staying inside or going to lunch.  After a short time, I came back down to the main deck and headed forward.  I wanted to clear my head by concentrating on the movement of the vessel through the water, breathing in the crisp, clean air, and let the peacefulness of the surroundings envelope me.

It didn’t work.

I knew it wouldn’t be long before I started thinking about why things hadn’t worked, and what part I played in it.  And the usual question that came to mind when something didn’t work out.  What was wrong with me?

I usually blamed it on my upbringing.

I had one of those so-called privileged lives, a nanny till I was old enough to go to boarding school, then sent to the best schools in the land.  There I learned everything I needed to be the son of a Duke, or, as my father called it in one of his lighter moments, nobility in waiting.

Had this been five or six hundred years ago, I would need to have sword and jousting skills, or if it had been a few hundred years later a keen military mind.  If nothing else I could ride a horse, and go on hunts, or did until they became not the thing to do.

I learned six languages, and everything I needed to become a diplomat in the far-flung British Empire, except the Empire had become the Commonwealth, and then, when no-one was looking, Britain’s influence in the world finally disappeared.  I was a man without a cause, without a vocation, and no place to go.

Computers were the new vogue and I had an aptitude for programming.  I guess that went hand in hand with mathematics, which although I hated the subject, I excelled in.  Both I and another noble outcast used to toss ideas around in school, but when it came to the end of our education, he chose to enter the public service, and I took a few of those ideas we had mulled over and turned them into a company.

About a year ago, I was made an offer I couldn’t refuse.  There were so many zeroes on the end of it I just said yes, put the money into a very grateful bank, and was still trying to come to terms with it.

Sadly, I still had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life.  My parents had asked me to come back home and help manage the estate, and I did for a few weeks.  It was as long as it took for my parents to drive me insane.

Back in the city, I spent a few months looking for a mundane job, but there were very few that suited the qualifications I had, and the rest, I think I intimidated the interviewer simply because of who I was.  In that time I’d also featured on the cover of the Economist, and through my well-meaning accountant, started involving myself with various charities, earning the title ‘philanthropist’.

And despite all of this exposure, even making one of those ubiquitous ‘eligible bachelor’ lists, I still could not find ‘the one’, the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  Phillipa seemed to fit the bill, but in time she proved to be a troubled soul with ‘Daddy’ issues.  I knew that in building a relationship compromise was necessary, but with her, in the end, everything was a compromise and what had happened was always going to be the end result.

It was perhaps a by-product of the whole nobility thing.  There was a certain expectation I had to fulfill, to my peers, contemporaries, parents and family, and those who either liked or hated what it represented.  The problem was, I didn’t feel like I belonged.  Not like my friend from schooldays, and now obscure acquaintance, Sebastian.  He had been elevated to his Dukedom early when his father died when he was in his twenties.  He had managed to fade from the limelight and was rarely mentioned either in the papers or the gossip columns.  He was one of the lucky ones.

I had managed to keep a similarly low profile until I met Phillipa.  From that moment, my obscurity disappeared.  It was, I could see now, part of a plan put in place by Phillipa’s father, a man who hogged the limelight with his daughter, to raise the profile of the family name and through it their businesses.  He was nothing if not the consummate self-advertisement.

Perhaps I was supposed to be the last piece of the puzzle, the attachment to the establishment, that link with a class of people he would not normally get in the front door.  There was nothing refined about him or his family, and more than once I’d noticed my contemporaries cringe at the mention of his name, or any reference of my association with him.

Yet could I truthfully say I really wanted to go back to the obscurity I had before Phillipa?  For all her faults, there were times when she had been fun to be with, particularly when I first met her when she had a certain air of unpredictability.  That had slowly disappeared as she became part of her father’s plan for the future.  She just failed to see how much he was using her.

Or perhaps, over time, I had become cynical.

I thought about calling her.  It was one of those moments of weakness when I felt alone, more alone than usual.

I diverted my attention back to my surroundings and the shoreline.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the woman in the red coat, making a move.  The red coat was like a beacon, a sort of fire engine red.  It was not the sort of coat most of the women I knew would wear, but on her, it looked terrific.  In fact, her sublime beauty was the one other attribute that was distinctly noticeable, along with the fact her hair was short, rather than long, and jet black.

I had to wrench my attention away from her.

A few minutes later several other passengers came out of the cabin for a walk around the deck, perhaps to get some exercise, perhaps checking up on me, or perhaps I was being paranoid.  I waited till they passed on their way forward, and I turned and headed aft.

I watched the wake sluicing out from under the stern for a few minutes, before retracing my steps to the front of the ship and there I stood against the railing, watching the bow carve its way through the water.  It was almost mesmerizing.  There, I emptied my mind of thoughts about Phillipa, and thoughts about the woman in the red coat.

Until a female voice behind me said, “Having a bad day?”

I started, caught by surprise, and slowly turned.  The woman in the red coat had somehow got very close me without my realizing it.  How did she do that?  I was so surprised I couldn’t answer immediately.

“I do hope you are not contemplating jumping.  I hear the water is very cold.”

Closer up, I could see what I’d missed when I saw her on the main deck.  There was a slight hint of Chinese, or Oriental, in her particularly around the eyes, and of her hair which was jet black.  An ancestor twice or more removed had left their mark, not in a dominant way, but more subtle, and easily missed except from a very short distance away, like now.

Other than that, she was quite possibly Eastern European, perhaps Russian, though that covered a lot of territory.  The incongruity of it was that she spoke with an American accent, and fluent enough for me to believe English was her first language.

Usually, I could ‘read’ people, but she was a clean slate.  Her expression was one of amusement, but with cold eyes.  My first thought, then, was to be careful.

“No.  Not yet.”  I coughed to clear my throat because I could hardly speak.  And blushed, because that was what I did when confronted by a woman, beautiful or otherwise.

The amusement gave way to a hint of a smile that brightened her demeanor as a little warmth reached her eyes.  “So that’s a maybe.  Should I change into my lifesaving gear, just in case?”

It conjured up a rather interesting image in my mind until I reluctantly dismissed it.

“Perhaps I should move away from the edge,” I said, moving sideways until I was back on the main deck, a few feet further away.  Her eyes had followed me, and when I stopped she turned to face me again.  She did not move closer.

I realized then she had removed her beret and it was in her left side coat pocket.  “Thanks for your concern …?”

“Zoe.”

“Thanks for your concern, Zoe.  By the way, my name is John.”

She smiled again, perhaps in an attempt to put me at ease.  “I saw you earlier, you looked so sad, I thought …”

“I might throw myself overboard?”

“An idiotic notion I admit, but it is better to be safe than sorry.”

Then she tilted her head to one side then the other, looking intently at me.  “You seem to be familiar.  Do I know you?”

I tried to think of where I may have seen her before, but all I could remember was what I’d thought earlier when I first saw her; she was a model and had been at one of the showings.  If she was, it would be more likely she would remember Phillipa, not me.  Phillipa always had to sit in the front row.

“Probably not.”  I also didn’t mention the fact she may have seen my picture in the society pages of several tabloid newspapers because she didn’t look the sort of woman who needed a daily dose of the comings and goings, and, more often than not, scandal associated with so-called celebrities.

She gave me a look, one that told me she had just realized who I was.  “Yes, I remember now.  You made the front cover of the Economist.  You sold your company for a small fortune.”

Of course.  She was not the first who had recognized me from that cover.  It had raised my profile considerably, but not the Sternhaven’s.  That article had not mentioned Phillipa or her family.  I suspect Grandmother had something to do with that, and it was, now I thought about it, another nail in the coffin that was my relationship with Phillipa.

“I wouldn’t say it was a fortune, small or otherwise, just fortunate.”  Each time, I found myself playing down the wealth aspect of the business deal.

“Perhaps then, as the journalist wrote, you were lucky.  It is not, I think, a good time for internet-based companies.”

The latter statement was an interesting fact, one she read in the Financial Times which had made that exact comment recently.

“But I am boring you.”  She smiled again.  “I should be minding my own business and leaving you to your thoughts.  I am sorry.”

She turned to leave and took a few steps towards the main cabin.

“You’re not boring me,” I said, thinking I was letting my paranoia get the better of me.  It had been Sebastian on learning of my good fortune, who had warned me against ‘a certain element here and abroad’ whose sole aim would be to separate me from my money.  He was not very subtle when he described their methods.

But I knew he was right.  I should have let her walk away.

She stopped and turned around.  “You seem nothing like the man I read about in the Economist.”

A sudden and awful thought popped into my head.  Those words were part of a very familiar opening gambit.  “Are you a reporter?”

I was not sure if she looked surprised, or amused.  “Do I look like one?”

I silently cursed myself for speaking before thinking, and then immediately ignored my own admonishment.  “People rarely look like what they are.”

I saw the subtle shake of the head and expected her to take her leave.  Instead she astonished me.

“I fear we have got off on the wrong foot.  To be honest, I’m not usually this forward, but you seemed like you needed cheering up when probably the opposite is true.  Aside from the fact this excursion was probably a bad idea.  And,” she added with a little shrug, “perhaps I talk too much.”

I was not sure what I thought of her after that extraordinary admission. It was not something I would do, but it was an interesting way to approach someone and have them ignoring their natural instinct.  I would let Sebastian whisper in my ear for a little longer and see where this was going.

“Oddly enough, I was thinking the same thing.  I was supposed to be traveling with my prospective bride.  I think you can imagine how that turned out.”

“She’s not here?”

“No.”

“She’s in the cabin?”  Her eyes strayed in that direction for a moment then came back to me.  She seemed surprised I might be traveling with someone.

“No.  She is back in England, and the wedding is off.  So is the relationship.  She dumped me by text.”

OK, why was I sharing this humiliating piece of information with her?  I still couldn’t be sure she was not a reporter.

She motioned to an empty seat, back from the edge.  No walking the plank today.  She moved towards it and sat down.  She showed no signs of being cold, nor interested in the breeze upsetting her hair.  Phillipa would be having a tantrum about now, being kept outside, and freaking out over what the breeze might be doing to her appearance.

I wondered, if only for a few seconds if she used this approach with anyone else.  I guess I was a little different, a seemingly rich businessman alone on a ferry on Lake Geneva, contemplating the way his life had gone so completely off track.

She watched as I sat at the other end of the bench, leaving about a yard between us.  After I leaned back and made myself as comfortable as I could, she said, “I have also experienced something similar, though not by text message.  It is difficult, the first few days.”

“I saw it coming.”

“I did not.”  She frowned, a sort of lifeless expression taking over, perhaps brought on by the memory of what had happened to her.  “But it is done, and I moved on.  Was she the love of your life?”

OK, that was unexpected.

When I didn’t answer, she said, “I am sorry.  Sometimes I ask personal questions without realizing what I’m doing.  It is none of my business.”  She shivered.  “Perhaps we should go back inside.”

She stood, and held out her hand.  Should I take it and be drawn into her web?  I thought of Sebastian.  What would he do in this situation?

I took her hand in mine and let her pull me gently to my feet.  “Wise choice,” she said, looking up at the sky.

It just started to rain.

© Charles Heath 2015-2023

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The cinema of my dreams – Was it just another surveillance job – Episode 57

This story is now on the list to be finished so over the new few weeks, expect a new episode every few days.

The reason why new episodes have been sporadic, there are also other stories to write, and I’m not very good at prioritizing.

But, here we are, a few minutes opened up and it didn’t take long to get back into the groove.

Things are about to get complicated…


I hadn’t realised until I said it out loud to someone who would not understand the significance of it, just how far-fetched the reason was.

But in my newly adopted world, it made perfect sense.

 Spies dealt with many things, mostly the notion of a threat, and the removal of it, whether it is an object like a USB or a person, or persons, who could make the threat become a reality.

This threat started with a laboratory working for the military to produce biological weapons.  Then the funding stopped, for whatever reason, and the laboratory had to cover its losses.

What better way than to hawk the formula on the dark web?

Someone perceived that the laboratory would become a threat and dispatched operatives to monitor the situation.

The worst-case scenario occurs, but from a different standpoint, the outrage of a community-conscious scientist who didn’t like the idea of people creating monstrous weapons and steals the formula to leak to the media.

The laboratory is shut down by the government before the formula could be sold, but there is a copy in play via the scientist.

The scientist, and therefore the threat, neutralised.

The threat then moves to his wife, who contacts someone in the Department, likely but not necessarily Dobbin, who then assigns O’Connell to find the wife and offer a lot of cash for the formula.

She agrees.

Somehow, the planted operatives, Severin and Maury discover the wife and O’Connell’s arrangement.

They create a surveillance group with the intention of monitoring the handover and then try to remove both O’Connell and the wife.

For what reason.  The threat would have been removed unless O’Connell and Dobbin had another agenda.  Why then when Dobbin rescued O’Connell, did O’Connell then turn on him?

A relationship with the wife?

Or was it simply the thought of making a huge sum of money, one both O’Connell and the wife could retire on.  He would not be the first spy to sell his soul for twenty pieces of silver.

But the good news, was we had Severin’s assassin.

The plan from there was to hand her over to the Detective Inspector, who didn’t have an agenda other than getting to the truth and keeping Jan away from Dobbin, or anyone who could set her free.

That plan was quashed the moment I saw Dobbin turn up at the scene.  He knew where Severin would be, he must know Severin was meeting with me, and he had sent Jan.

The fact I was still alive meant he wanted something from me.

The question was whether he knew if Jan had been taken off the playing field.

“What the hell is he doing here?”

It was the exact question in my head, though I was closer to answer than she was.

“Run interference, or worse, take over this case too.”

“I thought that was left in the hands of MI5.”

“He turned up after you left.”

She shrugged.  “Above my pay grade, to be honest.  He can have it.  I prefer to deal with the mundane, common thieves or murderers.  None of this cloak-and-dagger stuff.   I’ll tell my Super about the biological stuff, but you have to admit it is a bit farfetched.  There’s a more rational explanation for these deaths, you just have to look harder.  Now, if there’s nothing else?”

Too late to escape, Dobbin had circled around and reached us before I could disappear.

“You seem to turn up to department crime scenes with alarming regularity, Sam.  Any particular reason you’re here?”

The Detective Inspector had expected him to talk to her, not me.

“He’s just another possible witness on the periphery of a crime.  You’re here because?

“It’s one of our people.  I’m afraid…”

“…you’re going to have to take over?  Be my guest.  Your friend here is altogether far too uncooperative, like the rest of you.  I am going to file a formal complaint.”

.“And I’m sure it will be seen by the relevant people.”

She just shrugged and walked away, waving her hand at no one in particular

I waited until she was out of hearing range and asked, “So, why didn’t Jan shoot me too?”

© Charles Heath 2020-2023

‘Sunday in New York’ – A beta reader’s view

I’m not a fan of romance novels but …

There was something about this one that resonated with me.

This is a novel about a world generally ruled by perception, and how people perceive what they see, what they are told, and what they want to believe.

I’ve been guilty of it myself as I’m sure we all have at one time or another.

For the main characters Harry and Alison there are other issues driving their relationship.

For Alison, it is a loss of self-worth through losing her job and from losing her mother and, in a sense, her sister.

For Harry, it is the fact he has a beautiful and desirable wife, and his belief she is the object of other men’s desires, and one in particular, his immediate superior.

Between observation, the less than honest motives of his friends, a lot of jumping to conclusions based on very little fact, and you have the basis of one very interesting story.

When it all comes to a head, Alison finds herself in a desperate situation, she realises only the truth will save their marriage.

But is it all the truth?

What would we do in similar circumstances?

Rarely does a book have me so enthralled that I could not put it down until I knew the result. They might be considered two people who should have known better, but as is often the case, they had to get past what they both thought was the truth.

And the moral of this story, if it could be said there is one, nothing is ever what it seems.

Available on Amazon here: amzn.to/2H7ALs8

An excerpt from “Betrayal” – a work in progress

It could have been anywhere in the world, she thought, but it wasn’t.  It was in a city where if anything were to go wrong…

She sighed and came away from the window and looked around the room.  It was quite large and expensively furnished.  It was one of several she had been visiting in the last three months.

Quite elegant too, as the hotel had its origins dating back to before the revolution in 1917.  At least, currently, there would not be a team of KGB agents somewhere in the basement monitoring everything that happened in the room.

There was no such thing as the KGB anymore, though there was an FSB, but such organisations were of no interest to her.

She was here to meet with Vladimir.

She smiled to herself when she thought of him, such an interesting man whose command of English was as good as her command of Russian, though she had not told him of that ability.

All he knew of her was that she was American, worked in the Embassy as a clerk, nothing important, whose life both at work and at home was boring.  Not that she had blurted that out the first they met, or even the second.

That first time, at a function in the Embassy, was a chance meeting, a catching of his eye as he looked around the room, looking, as he had told her later, for someone who might not be as boring as the function itself.

It was a celebration, honouring one of the Embassy officials on his service in Moscow, and the fact he was returning home after 10 years.  She had been there once, and still hadn’t met all the staff.

They had talked, Vladimir knew a great deal about England, having been stationed there for a year or two, and had politely asked questions about where she lived, her family, and of course what her role was, all questions she fended off with an air of disinterested interest.

It fascinated him, as she knew it would, a sort of mental sparring as one would do with swords if this was a fencing match.

They had said they might or might not meet again when the party was over, but she suspected there would be another opportunity.  She knew the signs of a man who was interested in her, and Vladimir was interested.

The second time came in the form of an invitation to an art gallery, and a viewing of the works of a prominent Russian artist, an invitation she politely declined.  After all, invitations issued to Embassy staff held all sorts of connotations, or so she was told by the Security officer when she told him.

Then, it went quiet for a month.  There was a party at the American embassy and along with several other staff members, she was invited.  She had not expected to meet Vladimir, but it was a pleasant surprise when she saw him, on the other side of the room, talking to several military men.

A pleasant afternoon ensued.

And it was no surprise that they kept running into each other at the various events on the diplomatic schedule.

By the fifth meeting, they were like old friends.  She had broached the subject of being involved in a plutonic relationship with him with the head of security at the embassy.  Normally for a member of her rank, it would not be allowed, but in this instance it was.

She did not work in any sensitive areas, and, as the security officer had said, she might just happen upon something that might be useful.  In that regard, she was to keep her eyes and ears open and file a report each time she met him.

After that discussion, she got the impression her superiors considered Vladimir more than just a casual visitor on the diplomatic circuit.  She also formed the impression that he might consider her an ‘asset’, a word that had been used at the meeting with security and the ambassador.

It was where the word ‘spy’ popped into her head and sent a tingle down her spine.  She was not a spy, but the thought of it, well, it would be fascinating to see what happened.

A Russian friend.  That’s what she would call him.

And over time, that relationship blossomed, until, after a visit to the ballet, late and snowing, he invited her to his apartment not far from the ballet venue.  It was like treading on thin ice, but after champagne and an introduction to caviar, she felt like a giddy schoolgirl.

Even so, she had made him promise that he remain on his best behaviour.  It could have been very easy to fall under the spell of a perfect evening, but he promised, showed her to a separate bedroom, and after a brief kiss, their first, she did not see him until the next morning.

So, it began.

It was an interesting report she filed after that encounter, one where she had expected to be reprimanded.

She wasn’t.

It wasn’t until six weeks had passed when he asked her if she would like to take a trip to the country.  It would involve staying in a hotel, that they would have separate rooms.  When she reported the invitation, no objection was raised, only a caution; keep her wits about her.

Perhaps, she had thought, they were looking forward to a more extensive report.  After all, her reports on the places, and the people, and the conversations she overheard, were no doubt entertaining reading for some.

But this visit was where the nature of the relationship changed, and it was one that she did not immediately report.  She had realised at some point before the weekend away, that she had feelings for him, and it was not that he was pushing her in that direction or manipulating her in any way.

It was just one of those moments where, after a grand dinner, a lot of champagne, and delightful company, things happen.  Standing at the door to her room, a lingering kiss, not intentional on her part, and it just happened.

And for not one moment did she believe she had been compromised, but for some reason she had not reported that subtle change in the relationship to the powers that be, and so far, no one had any inkling.

She took off her coat and placed it carefully of the back of one of the ornate chairs in the room.  She stopped for a moment to look at a framed photograph on the wall, one representing Red Square.

Then, after a minute or two, she went to the mini bar and took out the bottle of champagne that had been left there for them, a treat arranged by Vladimir for each encounter.

There were two champagne flutes set aside on the bar, next to a bowl of fruit.  She picked up the apple and thought how Eve must have felt in the garden of Eden, and the temptation.

Later perhaps, after…

She smiled at the thought and put the apple back.

A glance at her watch told her it was time for his arrival.  It was if anything, the one trait she didn’t like, and that was his punctuality.  A glance at the clock on the room wall was a minute slow.

The doorbell to the room rang, right on the appointed time.

She put the bottle down and walked over to the door.

A smile on her face, she opened the door.

It was not Vladimir.  It was her worst nightmare.

© Charles Heath 2020

Monday has long since disappeared

Well, it’s official, I don’t like Mondays.

I’ve been procrastinating since last Thursday, telling myself I have to get the next part of one of my stories written, but I keep putting it off. I have to go to Africa, the Niger Delta to be exact. It can wait, I’m not ready for the steaming jungle and hostile villagers yet.

I didn’t do anything on Sunday, and, as a writer, I guess that’s not very good. I’m supposed to be writing a page, or a hundred or thousand words a day, just to keep the juices flowing.

And, suddenly, it’s now Thursday again, or is it Friday – the days are all one big blur.

I’m not in the mood. I sit and stare at the computer screen, and nothing is coming. Is this the first sign of writer’s block?

I dig out several articles on how to overcome it, and start putting their suggestions into action. No. No. Maybe.

No. I don’t think it’s writer’s block.

Perhaps I need some inspiration so I go to my tablet playlist, spend 10 minutes trying to find the headphones carelessly discarded by one of my grandchildren the last time they were here.

And, yes, the tablet was left in the middle of playing a Minecraft video which has drained the battery. Now I can’t find the charger!

Back at the computer, holding a dead tablet, and a pair of headphones, inspiration is as far away as the mythical light at the end of the tunnel. Today it is an oncoming express train.

Perhaps a pen and paper will work.

An idea pops into my head ….

Is it possible the passing of a weekend could change the course of your life? An interesting question, one to ponder as I sat on the floor of a concrete cell, with only the sound of my breathing, and the incessant screams coming from a room at the end of the corridor.

It was my turn next. That was what the grinning ape of a guard said in broken English. He looked like a man who relished his job.

What goes through your mind at a time like this, waiting, waiting for the inevitable?

Will I survive, what will they do to me, will it hurt?

The screaming stops abruptly, and a terrible silence falls over the facility.

Then, looking in the direction of where the screams had come from, I hear the clunk of the door latch being opened, and then the slow nerve-tingling screech of rusty metal as the door opens slowly.

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, no.

No writer’s block. But I have to stop watching late-night television

The A to Z Challenge – 2023 — R is for Reporter

“Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.”

I remember Angela quoting that to me when we were doing a tutorial for the Journalism part of my degree.  It was only one part of many for me, whereas, for her, it was to become her bread and butter.

She had taken up the role of a reporter on the campus newspaper, and she was inclined to write sharp pieces that would later point to how she would approach the job at the local newspaper, a job assured there for her based on her department head’s glowing recommendation.

Her vendetta against Emily had begun from day one at university and only grew more acrimonious each year.  Emily had hardly helped her situation by joining her equally entitled friends and behaving badly.

She knew my secret feelings about Emily and had often mocked me for it, especially after we didn’t find mutual ground.  It was probably the one relationship on campus I regretted.

It seemed inevitable that I was about to get entangled with her again, after trying so hard to keep out of her sight.  I had scored a piece, the smartest kid in college, but it was hard to tell if it was a character assassination or just a bio that might land me a useful job.

I didn’t bother calling up and asking her.

Xavier had just spent the last half hour roasting me for going to the ball and then demanding to know when and where I had fallen for the meanest girl on campus.

“I hardly think fallen is the word I’d use.  I like her, surely that’s obvious because she’s a reasonably likeable girl.”  It was difficult to find the words that dodged the bullet that was coming straight at me.

Xavier was a friend, but this would stretch it.  She was, categorically, the enemy.

“Perhaps,” I added, “with my new special status, I can put in a good word for you.  I know she knows Amy, and I know you like her, and that’s no different to my situation.”

He shrugged.  Like me, I don’t think he would ever confess his undying love to a girl who would have no hesitation in humiliating him.  “Don’t.  I prefer the wistful looking for a great distance and using my imagination.  What was she like to dance with?  I heard it was a Viennese waltz.”

“It wasn’t anything special.  You did the Arthur Murray lessons like I did.  And you would have fitted in.  The people were just people, Xavier.”

We both looked up at the same time to see Angela chugging her way across the cafeteria towards us.

“That’s my cue to leave.  You think I’m pissed; just wait till she gets here.”

And he was gone in the blink of an eye.  He hated Angela more than I did.  I thought of running, but what was the point.  She would just chase me down until I surrendered.  Better now than never.

She sat down, no tasking if it was alright, and pulled out her recorder and notebook.  She was nothing if not thorough.

“I’m assuming you’ve come here for an interview, though I’m not quite sure why.”

She shook her head, the trademark scowl getting a little deeper.  “I hope you’re not going to try and act dumb.”

“Who said it was an act.  I believe you told me, once, that I was the dumbest boy on the planet.  You’re being an authority on the subject, I accepted my lot.”

The scowl deepened.  “You’re going to be a pain in the ass, aren’t you?”

I shrugged.  “You reap what you sow, Angela.”

She switched off the recorder and softened her expression.  “Off the record, for the time being.  What were you thinking, going to that ball?”

“It was a perfect opportunity to put my Waltzing skills to the test.  You don’t get that kind of dancing opportunity every day.”

“With Emily, though?”

“She’s just a girl, Angela.”

“One I might add you are so obviously enamoured with.”

“How could one not be, at the moment.  I have had a crush on her for quite some time, yes, but up close and personal, it was not something I was going to pursue on or off the floor.  Not the time or the place.”

“How did you get an invite?”

“How did you?”

She shook her head.  “Try answering some of the questions, or I’ll just have to imagine what the right answer is.”

“OK.  Let me ask you a question.  Were you appraised of my brain out a week or so ago in this very cafeteria where I chewed out both the girl herself and that idiot boyfriend of hers?”

“It was mentioned.  People were surprised, but not shocked.  You and she have a very rocky sub-history.”

“Exactly.  Her father wanted to meet someone who doesn’t try sucking up to her because of who she is.  He invited me for that reason only.  You can ask him if you like.”

“I have.  You impressed him, and that is very difficult to do.  Are you thinking of working for him?  He seems to think you would make an excellent fit given your academic history.”

“You mean, marry the boss’s daughter?  That’s so 1950s cliché Angela.  If anything were to happen between us, and that’s very unlikely, I wouldn’t want to work for him, and things go south.  No, not considering it.  I have offers from New York, Washington, and Philadelphia.  Or I might just stay here and compete with you for a job on the paper.”

Another shake of the head.  “You’re very good at ducking and weaving.  Perhaps you should consider becoming a politician.”

“I couldn’t, I’m too honest.”

She snorted.  “You haven’t told me the truth yet, William.  She likes you, that was plain to see when you were together.  Her official line is no comment to any of the questions I asked her, and your obfuscating, which smacks of collusion.  I’m going to keep my eye on the two of you because there’s a story here.”

“You’re talking about a fairy tale, Angela, and they are just that, tales.  You know I like her, and I have for a long time, unrequited love I believe it’s called.  I had an argument with her, and it amused her father to invite me to an event that normally I’d never get an invite to because of who I am, and I’m sure all the toffs had a lot of laughs over it at my expense.  Emily was there, we danced the waltz, it was fun, and I surprised her in that a slum boy could actually wear a tuxedo and look good, and actually dance in time to the music.  That’s the story.

“As for the job, you know as well as I do, Rothstein invited the top 10 college students to an orientation day where they get to see how the company works, and then get a job offer.  I’m in the top ten so that’s a no-brainer, even for you.  There are no special attachments to it.  Knowing or not knowing Emily is not a precursor to getting an offer.

“And as for an ongoing relationship, do you see us together, here, now?  No.  I am as distant from her horizon now as I was yesterday and all the t=yesterdays before that.  I am not going to treat her differently now I’ve been to a ball and danced with her, she is still the same pain in the ass girl she always was, only at the end of this year I will be put out of my misery, and she will move on to the next shiny toy in the toy box.”

“So, you’re not expecting anything to happen?”

“Me?  No.  They’re the Rothstein’s.  Rothstein’s do not mix with people like me.  People like me are put on this earth for their amusement.  We all are.”

She shrugged.  “You make it so black and white, but I don’t think it is.  This isn’t over, William.”  She picked up the recorder and the notepad and put both into her backpack.  “Next time.”

I was hoping there wouldn’t be one.

©  Charles Heath  2023

On the research trail…

Or as it might more commonly be known as, spending a few hours in a historical museum. which just happens to cover some of the material you need for a school project.

I brought up the subject of living history yesterday after we all packed off to have an hour ride on a steam train and accompanying equally aged carriages.

Since these trains have been missing for nearly fifty years, there is basically two generations of people who have never had the chance to travel in such a manner in their lifetime, unless, of course, they have found a tourist train like our example, the Mary Valley Rattler.

It’s the same as the early days of finding gold in Gympie, in Queensland, Australia.  It dates back to the 1860s, and one can only imagine what it was like because most of the history is in books.  Yes, they have sketches, and sometimes photographs, but these do not generally date back to the middle of the nineteenth century.

But, visiting a living example of what it was like in ‘the old days’ can give those generations a glimpse of what it was like.

Single room schools, because unlike today when schools now cater to over 1,000 children in varying years, one school held about 20 or 30 in all grades, with a single teacher.

In fact, today, I saw a collection of readers that I remember reading when I was in grade school, a long time ago.  Even the desks and the ink wells brought back interesting memories, one of which when I was ink monitor.

But housed in a number of old-style buildings was the information on the diggings, the mines and the impact of gold in general, and, at the very end, the children got to do a little panning for gold, and found a number of small fragments of real gold.

Once they’d been shown by a panning expert that looked as if he had been transported into this time from the past.

There are similar places elsewhere in this country that preserve the past to show future generations what it was like.

After this weekend, we have more than enough information to work on the project, based around gold mining, and it’s impact on the people, the area, and the government.

And best of all, it has generated an interest in the past, reading more, and perhaps if we’re lucky, an interest in writing something based on history, which sometimes is quite difficult when it has to compete with more interesting pastimes like computer games.

The cinema of my dreams – I always wanted to go on a treasure hunt – Episode 52

Here’s the thing…

Every time I close my eyes, I see something different.

I’d like to think the cinema of my dreams is playing a double feature but it’s a bit like a comedy cartoon night on Fox.

But these dreams are nothing to laugh about.

Once again there’s a new installment of an old feature, and we’re back on the treasure hunt.


“So, how do you know your way around this place?”

We walked slowly and carefully because there was a lot of rubbish in the alleyway, mostly from cracks in the walls where the concrete lining had broken away. At times there were mounds of rubble, and we had to carefully walk over these.

The ground was dusty and signs of footprints from past visitors, but it had been a long time, they had almost disappeared. There was also a dank, musty aroma, just short of being nauseating.

“The result of a misspent youth. Not many people know there’s a passageway around the whole perimeter of the mall, with only four entry points from outside, and two inside. This was how we escaped when we came along for some shoplifting.”

“Did you ever think of going straight?”

“Wasn’t much chance of that. There were expectations, and when I did try to give it up, I got ostracised, and ended up having to commit bigger follies to regain acceptance.”

We reached the end of the passage, where it turned right. At a guess, I would say we were in one of the corners of the mall, near the front entrance.

She turned left and then stopped. I could see the bottom of the steps leading up.

A stopped next to her and we shone both torches up the stairs. The light only went as far as a landing.

“What’s up there,” I asked.

“Offices. A holding cell. It’s where the security team used to be. It was separate from everything else. The security guys used to shake down the teenage girls up there, and not in a nice way.”

“You?”

“Once, but I told Vince and he sorted the bastard out. Didn’t happen again.”

A small sidebar to life in a mall.

She started up the steps. “If anything is going to be anywhere, this will be the place. The front of the mall was the safest part, built properly on solid foundations. As work continued, heading sideways and back, corners were cut. It’s not the only shoddy building there is in this area.”

The Benderby’s construction company had built most of the buildings in the county, always coming in at the lowest price. The only place not cracking or falling to pieces was the town hall.

At the top of the stairs, there was another wide passage with rooms branching off it.

It was a little less dusty and musty up here, but the rooms were quite messy, with papers scattered everywhere. It looked like someone had been looking for something. The first room didn’t look like it had been used since everyone left, nor the second.

The third was a different story. It was reasonably clean, a large desk in the middle of the room, and several boxes on the side with rolled-up papers, probably blueprints or plans.

I went in. Nadia kept going up the passage to check the other rooms.

I pulled out one of the rolls and laid it on the table.

It was a map, one that stretched a hundred miles in each direction and giving a very clear view of all the river systems, lakes, mountains, and coastline. Our town was almost in the middle of the chart.

I pulled out another and it was almost the same.

I looked at the writing at the bottom. One was dated 1972, the other dated 1956.

I kept rummaging through the rolls until I found one that was dated 1935. Our town wasn’t a town back then, nor did Patterson’s Reach exist.

And carefully examining the inlets, bays, and coves, given the parameters of what remembered from Boggs’s map, it could be any one of a dozen locations. I didn’t take that much notice when I’d been looking at Boggs’ collection.

“Hey, Smidge,” Nadia yelled out.

I wished she wouldn’t call me that.

I went out of the room and down the passage, past about four other offices, until the second to last. She was standing outside an office with a shut door. I tried it, and it was locked.

“A locked door in an abandoned Mall. What are the odds?”

“That there’s something in there that someone wants to keep secret. This has to be Alex’s lair. What was in that other room?”

“Maps.”

“Any use?”

“Perhaps. Boggs probably had the same, but I never took much notice of his. Trouble is, I was having difficulty believing there is a treasure buried out there somewhere.”

“A lot of people seem to be looking for this non-existent treasure, so there must be something in it.”

“Any of your keys fit?”

She tried the first, no, the second, the same one she had used to get in, and it worked. A skeleton key perhaps, that oped every lock in the place.

The door swung open and we shone the torch lights inside.

“What the hell happened in here?” she muttered.


© Charles Heath 2020-2021

The A to Z Challenge – 2023 — Q is for quadrangle

I could not remember even the dreams started, it seemed it had been almost forever, but lately, they had taken on a new intensity.

They always started the same, I was standing at the bottom of a hill looking across a lawn, bordered by rose bushes, looking towards a very large manor house, three stories tall, with wings.

It was larger than anything I’d ever seen before, a house that was fit for a king or queen, or perhaps a lord.

For someone who lived in a village, son of the flour miller, and among the lower classes, it was a place I could never expect to see inside, nor walk about the grounds, only to look upon and wonder.

At first, the dreams had me looking at the house, whether in awe or dread, I could not say.  I didn’t venture forth, just stood there. 

In some dreams it was a bright sunny day, others overcast and cold, then others again, in pouring rain.  Always the same place, and likely the same time.

Then, after a while, the dreams changed slightly.  I was looking at the manor house at night.  The windows had lights, and shadowy forms moved back and forth in those windows.  Once a carriage arrived, but I couldn’t see who it was in it.  At night the house looked more majestic, but also it had an air of foreboding. 

But underlying every vision I had, I felt there was something familiar about it; that I had been inside, that I knew who the people were who lived there, and that for no particular reason, something awful had happened there.

After the first few dreams, I made a concerted effort to try and locate the place, venturing as far from my village as I could in a day, and could not find it.  It was not within the limits of my world.

When older, and was able to learn about manor houses, and the Lords and Gentry that lived in them, I ventured further afield but always with the same result.  It was as if it existed only in my imagination.

Then, when my mother died suddenly, the dreams stopped and it all faded from my memory.

It was then I learned from my father, that he was not my father.  He told me that my mother had been a lady in waiting for a wealthy family in one of the counties near the Scottish border when her family lived and that he was sending me to live with them.  There was more to that story, but he wouldn’t tell me what it was.  He packed my few possessions and put me on the coach.

That trip took many days, and when I finally reached the village where my mother’s sister lived, her eldest son Jacob came to get me and take me to my new home.  It didn’t take long to realize in a small house with six other children, I was just adding to my aunt’s problems.

That first night, banished to an outhouse with two of the other boys, the dreams came back, only different.

I was still looking at the manor house, but it was from a rotunda in the middle of a newly planted rose garden, only a short distance from the house.  I was sitting, waiting.  At first, I was just waiting, and no one came.  I had no idea how old I was or what I looked like, but it seemed I was dressed in child’s clothes.  Was it an early memory of mine?

That didn’t explain why I was sitting in the rotunda.  I could not be a child belonging to the manor house, so I had to wonder if I was the child of a servant.  Several days after arriving, I overheard an argument between my Aunt and her husband, who was angry about me being sent to live with them, his point, there were too many of them to support as it was.  He then said that if my mother hadn’t been so stupid to take their little bastard as her own and they looked after their own problems, this wouldn’t be his.

I had no idea what that meant.  My mother had been my mother, not someone else.  She had always been my mother for as long as I could remember.  But it did make sense why my father, who was not my father, had sent me away.  But they never mentioned it again.

This lasted for a week, and then a new element was introduced.

A young woman.  She was not a servant, but smartly dressed, and appeared to belong to the family who lived in the house.  She was accompanied by a woman I assumed to be her mother or a guardian.  They arrived in a carriage, and I wondered if it was the same carriage I’d seen previously in another dream.  I was close enough to I could see her face, and she was very beautiful but looked very sad.  It was the same each night, reaching to point of her arrival, and no more.

Being old enough to work, I was sent to work in the fields surrounding a manor house some distance from the village.  There were about a dozen boys of my age in the group, supervised by one of the manor houses stewards.  It was hard and physical work, much more than helping my father in the mill.

It took several weeks before we reached a field that was close to the manor house, in fact, just over a hill, and on a break I climbed the hill to have a look.

It was the manor house in my dream.  A different aspect, but the exact house, the lawns, the roses, and the Rotunda.

How could it be possible I knew this place?

One afternoon the steward picked me to deliver a message to the manor house housekeeper, telling me I had to go to the back of the house and avoid being seen.  There was an arch, and passageway that led to a quadrangle where I would find her. 

Up close the manor house was huge.  I remained in the gardens skirting the rose gardens to the rear of the house where there were stables and outhouses.  I found the arch, and then a passageway, wide enough for a wagon to make deliveries.  For some odd reason, I knew exactly where to go.

It led to a quadrangle inside the manor, at least I think that was what it was called but I was not sure how I knew.  Once there you could see inside.  At one end a door was open, but no one was about.  As soon as I stepped into the open, a vision came to me. 

It was at night, but the quadrangle was lit by many torches.  A carriage and four black horses were waiting, and then I came out with a woman, my mother.  There were two other ladies, one old and the other the housekeeper, Mrs Giles.  The old lady referred to her as that.  After the old lady spoke to my mother, we got in the carriage, and then I looked out to see the woman in white, looking out the window, looking very forlorn.  I could never forget that look of utter despair on her face.

The quadrangle was different now, in daylight.  An empty wagon was sitting not far from the door having no doubt just been unloaded with the weeks’ supplies from the surrounding farms.

I could hear voices, so I put my head in the door and said, “Is there anyone here?”

I waited until a lady came up the passage and saw me.  It was Mrs Giles.  How did I know that?

“Are you the housekeeper?”

“I am.”  She came out the door into the square. And stopped suddenly, looking at me curiously.  “Why are you here?”

“The steward sent me with a message.”  I took the piece of paper out of my pocket and held it out.

She took it but didn’t read it.  “Where are you from?”

“The village.  I live with the Halls.”  I realised after I said it she probably had no idea who they were.

“Her sister was Josephine, your aunt?”

I remembered my father called her Jo, rather than Josephine.  “Jo, yes.  She was my mother.  She died a while back and I was sent here.”

“My.  That’s a story, isn’t it?  Well, off with you.  Message delivered.”

A shake of the head and she went back inside.

That day the dreams stopped.  Perhaps now that they all made sense, there was no need for me to see them again.

There was no doubt the manor house was a place I had been to before, my mother had come from these parts and might have worked there at one time before she came down to marry my father, which meant now I was old enough to understand, my father was not my real father.  The only part I didn’t understand was what the lady in white represented.

I continued to work in the fields for another month, when I came home, as I always did, at sundown.  It had been a long, hot day.

When I turned onto the lane that led to our house, I saw there was a carriage parked out front.  It looked familiar with the livery of the two men sitting up front, and the four black horses.  It looked a lot different in daylight.

The men paid no heed to me as I looked at the horses, patted one, and then went on to the house.

Inside, the housekeeper, Mrs Giles, was there with another lady, not in white, but pale blue.  She looked a lot happier than I’d seen her before in my dreams, but it was the woman in white.

She gasped when she saw me.

My aunt looked from her to me, then to Mrs Giles.  “This was not supposed to happen.  My sister up and died, and her no-good-for-nothing husband sent the boy here.”

The woman in white spoke, “That is irrelevant now.  He is here, and he will come to live with his family.”

“Who might they be Miss,” I asked.  This conversation was a little hard to follow or understand.

My aunt looked at the housekeeper, “If I may explain to the boy.  It might be better coming from me.”

The housekeeper nodded.

“My sister, Jo, whom you knew only to be your mother, was, but she was not your real mother.  A few years after you were born it was necessary to take you away and be raised.  It was never intended that you were to return here, but you have.  Your real mother is that lady in blue, the Lady Westmoreland, now the owner of the manor.  Since the circumstances that required your departure no longer exist, you are free to return.  If you want to.  I know it’s a lot to understand Leonard, but in my opinion, you would be better off going to live in the manor.”

I looked at the lady in blue.  “I know you, but I don’t know how or why.  I have seen you in my dreams.”

“I’m sorry for what happened to you.  You were sent away without anyone telling me where or who or with who.  That you have come back to me is a miracle, an answer to many prayers.”  She held out her hand and I went over to her and took it in mine.  I looked up into her eyes and knew instantly that she was my real mother.

I turned to look at my aunt.  “I will go with them if you don’t mind.  I can always come back and see you.”  Another glance at my mother, “Can’t I?”

“Yes, you can.”

The housekeeper said, “WE will complete the arrangements we agreed to earlier.  Does the boy have any possessions?”

“None that would be of use to him.”

“Then you should keep them.  We should be on our way.”

Once in the carriage, on the way to the manor, my mother said, “Your name isn’t Leonard, by the way.”

“I know,” said.  “It’s James.  And your name is Harriet Montague, is it not?”

“How do you know that?”

“My other mother, Jo, told me one day but said never to tell anyone else.  Ever.  Unless Harriet came for me.  She knew you would, one day.  Either that or I would find you.  Now, it no longer matters.”

I was back where I belonged.

©  Charles Heath  2023

The cinema of my dreams – Was it just another surveillance job – Episode 56

This story is now on the list to be finished so over the new few weeks, expect a new episode every few days.

The reason why new episodes have been sporadic, there are also other stories to write, and I’m not very good at prioritizing.

But, here we are, a few minutes opened up and it didn’t take long to get back into the groove.

Things are about to get complicated…


“Turn around and head towards the trees, we’re not very far from you,” the voice in my head said.

I turned, saw the trees and moved towards them.

“Straight ahead.”

Then I could just see her, beside one of the tree trunks, under the cover of the canopy.

For the moment we would not be seen, but if someone was looking intently, we would be seen.

Jennifer was kneeling, her knees and weight keeping the assailant on the ground.  She handed me the gun, a silenced Baretta, with the distinct aroma of a discharged bullet.

Jennifer had pulled off the balaclava.  Jan.

Not working for Severin, but Dobbin.  Or someone else?

“Who ordered the hit?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Not entirely unexpected.

I pulled out my phone and dialled the number for the Detective Inspector that had been at Maury’s crime scene.  I knew there was going to be a need to call her in the not-too-distant future.  And Jan needed to be in a safe place where she couldn’t be got at.

“Who is this?”

My number would have come up as a ‘private number’.

“We met at the hotel where Maury died.”

“The spy?”

“Of sorts.  I’m sorry to say that his companion, Severin, is also now very dead in the rotunda at the Italian Gardens at Hyde Park.  I’d get someone down here before the body is removed or found by a member of the public.”

I heard a scream and deduced it came from the rotunda.

“Too late.  Hurry before the crime scene is contaminated.”

“Where are you?”

“Nearby.  And if you’re especially quick, we have a surprise for you.”

Two constables arrived in four minutes, most likely nearby for another reason.  The Detective Inspector and her Sergeant arrived within 20 minutes, but by that time Jennifer and Jan had retreated to the car, parked away from the gardens.

Anyone seeing us heading away would have picked us for three drunken fools escorting a friend who had passed out.  Jan had struggled to get free, and it had been necessary to subdue her.

I had wanted to ask further questions, but circumstances didn’t allow it.  Not yet.

Leaving Jennifer with Jan, securely tied up, but looking like she was sleeping of a long drinking session, I went back to the crime scene just as the Detective Inspector was coming out of the rotunda.

She recognised me and called me over to the tape that separated the public from the scene.  The forensic team had just arrived and was setting up.  I doubted she would let me into the crime scene area, but I had seen enough when I’d been there with Severin.

“Why are you here, and give me a good reason not to take you into custody.”

“He called me earlier and wanted to talk.  I think he found out Maury was dead, and he was next.  I didn’t kill him, but I know who did, but I’m not sure we’re going to be able to prove it.”

“That weedy little man that saved your ass the last time?”

“Richards or Dobbin?  Either or together or one of their henchmen.  Not sure, to be honest.  All I knop is it’s possible Maury was killed during an intense interrogation.  I suspect Severin was killed to silence him.”

“Because of what?”

“I believe it is about the existence of a formula for a biological weapon.”

© Charles Heath 2020-2023