Writing a book in 365 days – 302

Day 302

The Accuracy of Non-fiction

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The Unbreakable Vow: How Accurate Must Non-Fiction Really Be?

The Ethical Tightrope Walk of the Storyteller

In an age where information is constantly challenged and fact-checking seems like a lost art, the role of the non-fiction writer has never been more vital—or more scrutinised. When a reader picks up a memoir, a history book, or a piece of investigative journalism, they enter into a sacred contract with the author.

That contract is simple: This is the truth.

But how absolute is that requirement? Writing, after all, is an art form, not a police report. Where does artistic license end, and fabrication begin? And what happens when a writer breaks the cardinal vow of non-fiction?

1. The Currency of Trust: Defining Accuracy

Non-fiction is built on trust. Unlike the novelist, whose power lies in invention, the non-fiction writer’s power rests entirely on verifiability.

The Standard is Rigour

For true accuracy, a writer must adhere to several key principles:

Verifiability: All key facts, dates, events, and quotes must be traceable to reliable sources (documents, interviews, established historical record).
Contextual Honesty: Presenting a fact accurately is not enough; it must be presented within its proper context. Omitting crucial context can turn a truth into a lie of implication.
Due Diligence: The writer has an ethical obligation to actively seek out and include information that might contradict their central thesis, rather than cherry-picking facts that bolster their argument.

The Grey Area: When Narrative Needs Taming

The truth is often messy, disorganised, and tedious. To shape a compelling narrative, even the most rigorous writer must perform certain operations that skirt the edges of pure objectivity:

Composite Characters: Combining minor, unnamed figures into one character for the sake of narrative flow (e.g., “a nurse” who represents three different nurses the author spoke to). Ethical Boundary: This is acceptable only if the composite character does not perform actions that never happened or fundamentally alter the setting or plot.
Dialogue Recreation: Human memory is imperfect. Few people remember the exact wording from conversations years ago. Writers often recreate dialogue based on notes, journals, or the known speaking style of the person. Ethical Boundary: The reconstructed dialogue must faithfully reflect the actual intent and meaning of the original exchange.
Compression of Time: Events that occurred over weeks may be described as happening over a day to maintain momentum. Ethical Boundary: This cannot mislead the reader about cause and effect.

In essence, the rule for navigating the gray area is this: You can compress, simplify, or rephrase, but you cannot introduce invention. If the event, the essential characters, or the core outcome did not happen or exist, you have crossed into fiction.

2. The Cardinal Sin: Fabrication and Lying

Fabricating material in non-fiction is not merely a mistake; it is an act of fraud.

A writer lies when they invent interviews, invent sources, invent data, or fundamentally alter the outcome of a factual event simply to make the story “better.”

The motivation for lying is almost always narrative convenience—the truth wasn’t exciting enough, complete enough, or emotionally satisfying. This choice, driven by desperation or arrogance, guarantees catastrophic consequences.

3. The Scorched-Earth Consequences of Lying

The consequences for writers who fabricate or lie about non-fiction material are swift, catastrophic, and often permanent. They touch every aspect of the writer’s professional and personal life.

A. Reputational Death

For a non-fiction writer, reputation is their lifeblood. Once fabrication is discovered, the writer is professionally toxic.

Loss of Credibility: A single lie taints every word the writer has ever published and ever will publish. The reader instantly wonders, “If they lied about this date, did they lie about the entire premise?”
Ostracization: Publishers, editors, journalists, and academic institutions will severely limit or cease association with the writer. The writer is no longer a professional peer; they are a liability.
The Loss of the Subject: If the work was a biography or history, the writer loses the ability to access primary sources or interview subjects, as no one will risk having their story distorted again.

B. Financial and Legal Ruin

Fabrication often leads to substantial financial and legal actions:

Book Recalls and Returns: Publishers are often forced to recall and pulp thousands of copies, costing millions. Royalties are stopped immediately, and the author may be required to pay back advances (a “clawback”) based on breach of contract.
Lawsuits: If the fabricated material slanders or libels a real person, or invades privacy, the author and publisher face costly civil lawsuits. This is especially true in memoirs, where the writer has misrepresented the actions or character of family members or acquaintances.

C. The Death of the Work

When fabrication is exposed, the work itself ceases to be viewed as literature or history; it becomes a footnote in the history of literary scandal.

Academic institutions remove the book from reading lists.
Awards won by the book are often revoked.
The work, no matter how engaging the fictional elements were, loses its cultural permanence because its foundation is rotten.

The Example of Literary Hoaxes

History is littered with examples of celebrated non-fiction—particularly memoirs—that were revealed to be frauds. These incidents rarely end with the writer receiving a slap on the wrist. They often involve public confession, professional exile, and a permanent asterisk next to their name in literary history. The narrative satisfaction gained by lying is never worth the loss of an entire career.

The Ultimate Responsibility

The job of the non-fiction writer is the challenging, often frustrating, task of wrestling the truth into a readable shape. It means accepting that sometimes, the real story is incomplete, ambiguous, or less dramatic than we might wish.

The commitment to accuracy is not just an ethical preference; it is the scaffolding upon which the entire genre is built. When we pick up a pen or open a keyboard to write non-fiction, we make an unbreakable vow to the reader to stay true to the facts, not because it’s easy, but because the alternative is professional and sometimes personal extinction.

The truth may be messy, but in non-fiction, it is the only story that matters.

“The Things We Do For Love”

Would you give up everything to be with the one you love?

…

Is love the metaphorical equivalent to ‘walking the plank’; a dive into uncharted waters?

For Henry, the only romance he was interested in was a life at sea, and when away from it, he strived to find sanctuary from his family and perhaps life itself. It takes him to a small village by the sea, a place he never expected to find another just like him, Michelle, whom he soon discovers is as mysterious as she is beautiful.

Henry had long since given up the notion of finding romance, and Michelle couldn’t get involved for reasons she could never explain, but in the end, both acknowledge that something happened the moment they first met.

Plans were made, plans were revised, and hopes were shattered.

A chance encounter causes Michelle’s past to catch up with her, and whatever hope she had of having a normal life with Henry, or anyone else, is gone. To keep him alive she has to destroy her blossoming relationship, an act that breaks her heart and shatters his.

But can love conquer all?

It takes a few words of encouragement from an unlikely source to send Henry and his friend Radly on an odyssey into the darkest corners of the red-light district in a race against time to find and rescue the woman he finally realizes is the love of his life.

The cover, at the moment, looks like this:

Is love the metaphorical equivalent to ‘walking the plank’; a dive into uncharted waters?

For Henry, the only romance he was interested in was a life at sea, and when away from it, he strived to find sanctuary from his family and perhaps life itself. It takes him to a small village by the sea, s place he never expected to find another just like him, Michelle, whom he soon discovers is as mysterious as she is beautiful.

Plans were made, plans were revised, and hopes were shattered.

But can love conquer all?

The cover, at the moment, looks like this:

An excerpt from “If Only” – a work in progress

Investigation of crimes doesn’t always go according to plan, nor does the perpetrator get either found or punished.

That was particularly true in my case. The murderer was incredibly careful in not leaving any evidence behind, to the extent that the police could not rule out whether it was a male or a female.

At one stage the police thought I had murdered my own wife though how I could be on a train at the time of the murder was beyond me. I had witnesses and a cast-iron alibi.

The officer in charge was Detective First Grade Gabrielle Walters. She came to me on the day after the murder seeking answers to the usual questions like, when was the last time you saw your wife, did you argue, the neighbors reckon there were heated discussions the day before.

Routine was the word she used.

Her fellow detective was a surly piece of work whose intention was to get answers or, more likely, a confession by any or all means possible. I could sense the raging violence within him. Fortunately, common sense prevailed.

Over the course of the next few weeks, once I’d been cleared of committing the crime, Gabrielle made a point of keeping me informed of the progress.

After three months the updates were more sporadic, and when, for lack of progress, it became a cold case, communication ceased.

But it was not the last I saw of Gabrielle.

The shock of finding Vanessa was more devastating than the fact she was now gone, and those images lived on in the same nightmare that came to visit me every night when I closed my eyes.

For months I was barely functioning, to the extent I had all but lost my job, and quite a few friends, particularly those who were more attached to Vanessa rather than me.

They didn’t understand how it could affect me so much, and since it had not happened to them, my tart replies of ‘you wouldn’t understand’ were met with equally short retorts. Some questioned my sanity, even, for a time, so did I.

No one, it seemed, could understand what it was like, no one except Gabrielle.

She was by her own admission, damaged goods, having been the victim of a similar incident, a boyfriend who turned out to be an awfully bad boy. Her story varied only in she had been made to witness his execution. Her nightmare, in reliving that moment in time, was how she was still alive and, to this day, had no idea why she’d been spared.

It was a story she told me one night, some months after the investigation had been scaled down. I was still looking for the bottom of a bottle and an emotional mess. Perhaps it struck a resonance with her; she’d been there and managed to come out the other side.

What happened become our secret, a once-only night together that meant a great deal to me, and by mutual agreement, it was not spoken of again. It was as if she knew exactly what was required to set me on the path to recovery.

And it had.

Since then, we saw each about once a month in a cafe. I had been surprised to hear from her again shortly after that eventful night when she called to set it up, ostensibly for her to provide me with any updates on the case, but perhaps we had, after that unspoken night, formed a closer bond than either of us wanted to admit.

We generally talked for hours over wine, then dinner and coffee. It took a while for me to realize that all she had was her work, personal relationships were nigh on impossible in a job that left little or no spare time for anything else.

She’d always said that if I had any questions or problems about the case, or if there was anything that might come to me that might be relevant, even after all this time, all I had to do was call her.

I wondered if this text message was in that category. I was certain it would interest the police and I had no doubt they could trace the message’s origin, but there was that tiny degree of doubt, about whether or not I could trust her to tell me what the message meant.

I reached for the phone then put it back down again. I’d think about it and decide tomorrow.

NANOWRIMO – November 2025 – Day 14

…

The Third Son of a Duke

…

Well, if the wharf at Pinkenba in Brisbane is anything to go by, a tin shed and a wharf that the ship is considerably longer than, then where the hell had he finished up?

The port of Brisbane in 1914 didn’t amount to much, but it did have a railway station and a train he could catch to Brisbane proper. From there, it was another two trains from Brisbane to Rockhampton and then to Winton.

Outback Queensland, Australia. Fortunately, Winter is coming, but it’s not going to be the winters of England. Although cool at night, the temperatures in the tropics were much warmer.

From Winton, it’s a truck ride from the station to the cattle station, about 20 miles or so from the front gate. It’s big with thousands of acres, and the station house is like an oasis in the middle of scrub. His uncle owns the station with other family members. They raise beef cattle for export to their home country. As the war approaches, the war effort will likely require supplying beef for the army.

But war is not yet upon them, and he is introduced to life on the land.

His guide is his cousin, a girl about his sister’s age, and the difference between his cousin and his sister is as wide as a chasm. His cousin is a station hand, manager, personnel manager, musterer, and guide. She will be the one to train him up in what will be required, and with no time to unpack his belongings, they’re out into the wilds for a week’s orientation.

Luckily he can ride a horse.

…

1980 words, for a total of 21125 words.

Writing about writing a book – Day 24

Time to put the team back together, well, sort of.

We’ve been given the introduction to who Barry McDougall is, or the man otherwise known as ‘Brainless’, and after three days of trying to get it straight, this is the first rough draft of his start in the story.

…

Barry, whose daring selfless deeds earned him the nickname Brainless because that was the only way to describe the motivation behind them, was one of the regular soldiers, and, for a long time, had been my only true friend. His was a reputation both friends and foes alike considered awesome. He’d been in Vietnam, and later just turned up at Davenport’s camp, reporting for duty.

Davenport was more surprised than I was at his arrival, but obviously, after checking his credentials, was impressed because he let him stay. And it would be true to say, if he had not, I would not be here now.

So Barry was just the sort of person I needed to help me.

That was the good news.

The bad news was Barry, at the best of times, either on one of his ‘benders’ using drugs or alcohol, whatever was easier to get at the time, lost to everyone, or locked up in a mental institution, having admitted himself. He had no interest in participating in life, hadn’t worked in years, and often said, in moments when he was at his lowest, that he did not care if he lived or died. It had not always been that way, but his demons had all but taken him over, and despite the help, I tried to give him, nothing could shake him out of this lethargy. He said once he envied me that I could not remember the dark days, and, now those memories had returned, I knew what he meant.

For a long time, I could not understand why he didn’t try harder to help himself, and I guess he humoured me by accepting the jobs I’d found him, and the help I offered. I owed him a great deal, but that was probably the one honourable thing about him, he never expected, nor wanted anything in return.

He tried to make a go of being a police officer and lasted several years before he resigned over an incident that didn’t reach the papers. There was, he said, no place for heroics in modern society. I hadn’t got to the bottom of it, but I heard he shot some thieves at a time when the police were trying to promote a pacifist image.

He tried a few other occupations with an equal lack of success, so now he survived on whatever money I gave him. He lived on the street, and when he was not there, I knew he could be found in a bar, in one of the more seedier parts of the city, a ubiquitous underground bar called Jackson’s, named after a man who had a salubrious reputation that hovered between load shark and saint, and who was reputed to be buried under the storeroom floor. The present owner, or what I assumed to be the owner, was a large, gruff, ex-prizefighter, who had the proverbial heart of gold, most of the time, and who took my money and looked after Barry without making it look like he was.

I’d called the bartender in advance, and he said he was in his usual spot, and that it was at the start of the next cycle, having just discharged himself from the hospital after a bout of pneumonia. It was, he said, getting worse, and taking longer to recover.

It was probably only a matter of time before it took him, so perhaps this time I would have to try harder to convince him to give up his nomadic lifestyle.

When I walked in, the aroma of spilled beer, stale sweat, and vomit, mingled with the industrial-strength carbolic cleaner almost took my breath away. In the corner, two construction workers were sitting, quietly smoking and drinking large glasses of beer. In the other, Barry was being held up by the table, an untouched double scotch sitting in front of him. Sitting at the bar was a woman of indeterminate age, badly made up, and thin to the point of emaciation. I was not sure what she was drinking, or what it was she was smoking, but I could smell it from the front doorway.

The bartender, Ogilvy, no first name given, was pretending to polish glasses, standing at the end of the bar, looking at the television, playing some daytime soap. He didn’t look over when I came in, but I knew he didn’t miss anything. I saw him flick a glance at Barry, and then shake his head. I think he cared as much about Barry as I did but could recognise the sadness within him. As much as Ogilvy said, which wasn’t much, he too had seen service in Vietnam, and it had affected him too.

I ordered an orange juice, caught the glances from the construction workers, and a steely look from the woman then went over to Barry’s table and sat down. Despite the loud scraping noise when I moved the chair, or the creaking as I sat in it, Barry didn’t move.

Whilst the bar had that seedy aroma, Barry was showing the signs of having spent the time on the street. It was one of the disadvantages of having no permanent residence and though there was a shower at the bar which Ogilvy let Barry use from time to time, he obviously hadn’t for a few days.

A groan emanated from the table, and Barry moved his head slightly.

I shifted the drink in front of him, and then a hand went out and moved it back. He lifted his head to look at me and then lowered it again.

“I thought it was you.”

…

The cinema of my dreams – I never wanted to go to Africa – Episode 37

Our hero knows he’s in serious trouble.

The problem is, there are familiar faces and a question of who is a friend and who is foe made all the more difficult because of the enemy, if it was the enemy, simply because it didn’t look or sound or act like the enemy.

Now, it appears, his problems stem from another operation he participated in, and because of it, he has now been roped into what might be called a suicide mission.

An hour later we were stopped by the side of the road, at a point where another road, or, rather, a track headed to the left into the forest.

A short distance before that I noticed a sign, battered and faded, advertising an airport, a sign I thought had been put there as a joke.

Of course, when I remembered the conversation I had with Monroe back on the plane and the fact we had a specialist pilot in our group, it all began to make sense.

Our exit strategy.

I only wished I had internet coverage so I could check the presence of an airport in what looked to be the middle of nowhere.

Only Davies seemed unperturbed.

I had to ask. “Did you know there was an airport here?”

“Of one, used by fly-ins for the Garamba National Park. Not much of an airstrip though, and we don’t exactly have up to the minute details on its surface, but as recently as a week ago a small plane had landed there.”

“Thanks for telling me.”

“All you had to do was ask the right question.”

It seems I didn’t know what the right questions were, what might be called an occupational hazard on a job like this.

Everyone had got out of their cars to stretch their legs and prepare for the next phase of the operation, which was to meet with the kidnappers. I expected Jacobi would be on the sat phone talking to their leader, advising we had arrived.

I went back to Mobley, standing with the Ugandan soldier that had been assigned as his driver, smoking a cigarette. I was surprised he hadn’t joined the others who had gathered ahead of the lead vehicle.

“Nice shooting back there,” I said. It was for a man under pressure to make the shots, and give the rest of us a chance to take care of the others. That no one else got shot was a miracle.

“Just another day at the office.”

“Well, it hasn’t ended yet. I want you to go to the airstrip and get it under surveillance. There is supposed to be an aircraft there, whether for our use or just there so we can steal it I’m not quite sure. But if there’s a plane there, I want you to make sure it doesn’t leave, but as quietly as possible. We should be along later with the packages. I’m going up to tell the Colonel he’ll be joining you. He might not want to, but he’s done enough for us. I don’t want him to make enemies unnecessarily.”

“As you wish. I’ll be along shortly.”

“Good. Make sure your radio is working and on. I need to know if anything goes sideways.”

“It won’t.”

I wish I had his confidence.

A minute later I reached the front of the convoy and saw why there seemed little animation among the group. Monroe had Jacobi on his knees and a gun on the back of his neck.

“This is an interesting development Lieutenant. Is there a problem I should know about?”

“I reckon the weasel sold us out back there. Maybe even called them in to shake us down for one reason or another. Didn’t try too hard to negotiate with the commander.”

No, he hadn’t. And the thought had crossed my mind too. A bit of cash on the side, split with the commander. There didn’t seem to be any intent of the commander’s part to shoot us, so it was a pity we had to kill them all. If they were part of the kidnapper’s operations, things might get a little dangerous.

“Before you kill him,” I said, “Did he tell you how the call to the kidnappers went?”

“Didn’t ask.”

“Perhaps you should.”

Mobley picked that moment to drive up alongside Jacobi and the Lieutenant.

“Problem?” he asked through the window.

“No. We’re practicing our run at the kidnappers.”

He shrugged. I looked over at the Colonel. “Time for you to be moving on. You don’t need to be in on the next part, for plausible deniability. I suspect if the leader of this group sees you, and makes any connection back to the Ugandans, it could cause trouble.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Better if you didn’t have to. My man needs help at the airstrip and a man of your authority might just smooth over problems if he needs it.”

“You’re having a plane sent in?”

“I’d like to think so, might even get you home in time for a late supper.” I glared at Jacobi. “How does he get to the airstrip?”

“Normally, through the town, but there’s a track about 200 yards up the road. Go left, follow the road, then turn right at the first fork.”

He stood staring at the ground for a minute, hopefully considering doing as I asked. I was not sure what I was going to do if he didn’t. It was preferable he didn’t come with us.

“OK. You have a point. No need stirring up my Congo friends any more than I already have.”

He went over to Mobley’s car and got in, replacing the Ugandan soldier as a driver.

“See you when we see you,” Mobley said, and the Colonel drove off after a wave.

Back to my other problem.

“You’ve had time to think about your answer, Jacobi, so tell us.”

“An eight-mile drive along the next track, then instead of taking the fork to the airstrip, go left, and drive to you reach the checkpoint.”

“The meeting is on.”

“They’re waiting for us.”

“In more ways than one, I’d say,” Monroe muttered. “He’s outlived his usefulness in my book.”

Ordinarily, I would agree with her, but we still needed him. There might have been an initial negotiation, but it was far from what the end deal would be, and he had to be there to complete it. And if he was leading us into a trap, well, we’d just have to wait and see.

“We still need him, so ease up on the aggression. If he has double-crossed us, you can shoot him. Until then, play nice. But, just as a precaution, you and Stark can bring up the rear, stop about a mile short, and do some recon between there and the checkpoint. If anyone is thinking of sneaking up behind us, I want to know about it.”

Monroe shook her head, then eased the gun away from him. A nod to me.

“He can go with you in the lead car. Davies can come with me and keep driving the car. They’ll be expecting four vehicles.”

“Fair enough.” I turned to Baines, the first time I’d addressed him since getting on the plane at the black site. “You wouldn’t happen to know if there’s a portable rocket launcher among that film equipment, would you?”

“And half a dozen shells. Don’t know how they managed it, but it’s there.”

“Easy to get at?”

“If need be.”

“Good.” I looked around at the rest of the team. “Everyone had time to calm their nerves.”

I’d watched Jacobi drag himself to his feet and try to brush the dust of his clothes. It didn’t help restore what was once quite clean and crisp linen. No one helped him, in fact, if I gave the order to shoot, all of them would. Monroe’s accusation struck a chord with the others.

“We’d better get going,” she said, heading for the last vehicle after being joined by Davies. Out of earshot, she said something to her, and I heard them laughing.

I was not sure what it was about, but as long as it eased the tension in her. She had discovered which car was carrying the diamonds, co-incidentally the car I’d been driving, so we needed a situation so that we could remove the diamonds from the equation when we arrived at the checkpoint. There was no way the kidnappers were going to let us retrieve the package once we got there, and I had no doubt we would be separated from the cars, and the equipment, so that, if possible, the kidnappers could gain the upper hand.

Or that was how I suspected it would go down. It was only a matter of time before I was proved right or wrong.

Everyone else got back into the cars, and with Jacobi sitting in the front with me, I started moving forward.

I wasn’t prepared, not mentally anyway. I never was when going into battle.

Writing a book in 365 days – 301

Day 301

Writing exercise

Spring had been just around the corner for a month, and now she was running out of excuses.

…

I knew instinctively that whatever chance I had with Genevieve was gone. I mean, it wasn’t much of a chance in the first place; I just happened to be in the right place at the right time when she rebounded from Tommy.

That had been a hard pill for her to swallow, and I’d been there to pick up the pieces. I knew then that I was a convenient shoulder to cry on, that she had always been looking for Mr Right, and I was not it. I was Mr Convenient.

It was just the thought that in our senior year, I was dating the girl every boy wanted, and I wanted to care that she had feelings for me, but my older sister, she knew exactly what sort of girl Geneveive was, and said she was going to let her break my heart, if only to learn a valuable lesson for later on in life.

I was not sure if I was going to hate her forever or thank her later.

…

Staring at her with her friends across the divide that seemed to be more like a chasm than the fifty-odd feet it was in reality, I could see the writing on the wall.

I had seen her glance over, but where there once would have been a smile or a small wave, there was nothing. When her friends glanced over, then back it was always with a burst of laughter.

Mr Convenient had become a schmuck.

I wasn’t exactly running with the popular squad, of which Genevieve was one of the leaders, but I was useful, especially when it came to helping with homework and tutoring.

Other than that, notoriety only came with the association with Genevieve, and I was not sure why she still put in the half effort she did to keep up appearances.

“It’s time to call it, Jack. Seriously. I’m sure what they’re saying about you isn’t complimentary.”

Benny, who hated being called that, was the guy I vied too in the class. He was the fully fledged nerd, far cleverer than any of us, and was off to Uni next year with a guaranteed spot waiting for him.

Mine was not so assured.

It was clear he didn’t like her; his adjectives for her included brainless, vacant-minded, and vacuous. One particular day, he found ten ‘v’ words that were rather accurate.

“You simply don’t like her, Ben.”

“What’s there to like, Jack? If you take away the model looks and the wow factor that any normal guy would see through in an instant, what’s left?”

I was sure there was a nice girl underneath all of that so-called wrapping. I had definitely seen it there in her most vulnerable moments, but when she got over the hurt, it had gradually disappeared.

“Whatever it is, it’ll be over soon enough. When Berkeley asks her to the Prom and she accepts, you’ll get your wish.”

“She’s only going to hurt you. Girls like her don’t give a damn about the likes of you or I.”

No, they didn’t, which was why I had to wonder why she had bothered in the first place.

The group fifty feet away was breaking up, and Genevieve and two of her friends, whom Ben labelled the mean girls, were left.

She turned to look over in my direction, then said something to the other two, picked up her bag, and they started walking towards us.

“Incoming…” Ben made it sound like a wave of bombers was about to pass over.

When I looked up, she was standing in front of me, the two others strategically placed. For what?

I was sitting on the table, and almost at eye level.

“Can you share the joke?” I asked. My tone wasn’t exactly conciliatory, but she wouldn’t know the difference.

“What joke?” It was her model stance, the one where she would shift from foot to foot, the one where her hair would move in such a way that she had to exaggeratedly swish it.

I looked into her eyes, and realised finally that they were like a shark’s, lifeless and predatory. I had, in a sense, made up my mind in the time it took for her to sashay her way over, that I was done, but now the moment was here…

“As much as I don’t know about you, Gen, I know you don’t have a bad memory.”

So, I was being a little obtuse because I knew she hated being called Gen. After all, it was a Tommy endearment.

Her look went from dull to suffused anger.

“I thought…”

“You thought what Genevieve?” I interrupted her, another thing she didn’t like.

It was watching her friends’ expressions change. It had been contempt before, now it was bordering on astonishment.

“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t use that name.”

“It’s been almost a year since he dumped you. The name should have no significance. Not unless you still care about him.”

I switched my glare to Harriet. She was the definitive mean girl, living on the borrowed power from Genevieve. She was one of those who knew which pack to run with.

“You tell me, then, since Gen has temporarily lost her memory.”

“Tell you what?” Exasperation, a glance at Genevieve, then back, red spots appearing on her cheeks.

I took a few seconds and sighed. Then, shaking my head, I slid off the table and grabbed my bag.

“I’m not sure what time warp all of you just came out of, but back here in the real world, friends don’t make fun of friends.”

Concern, perhaps, the mean girl mantle slipping a little. “I don’t understand.”

“Please, Gen, let’s not go with the innocent angle. It doesn’t become you. Berkeley asked me what the deal was with us. He’s a nice guy and a much better fit for you. I told him there was nothing between us but air, Gen. Is there?”

Ben was waiting in the wings. If he was thrilled, I was finally called it a day; it wasn’t showing.

“I don’t get it. What did I do?”

“Everything and nothing, Gen. Everything and nothing.”

…

As a child, which in a sense I still was, there was a lot about the world I lived in that I knew nothing about.

Perhaps it was a failure of the education system that it didn’t teach us how we were supposed to live in a grown-up world, or perhaps they left that to the parents.

If that was the case, then just about every child would, if suddenly becoming an orphan, be totally at sea in a world they could never understand.

In my mind, that whole romance in high school thing was a mixture of intense feelings followed by considerable pain when it didn’t work out.

That was life, I’d read somewhere, the ups and downs of finding and keeping that one who should become your life partner, your best friend, and sometimes your soul mate.

Genevieve was never going to be that person. I knew that before she stepped into my life. He ideals were based on what she learned from her family, with a father who was up to vacuous wife number four, barely older than Genevieve.

In a day that began oddly, it was only going to get odder.

When I came home, my father was already home. His car was in the driveway, making me think he had forgotten something he needed for work.

He was always away, so much so that I sometimes forgot I had a father.

I got as far as the first two steps on the staircase to safety when I heard him.

“Jack, spare me a few minutes, will you?”

What if I said no? I was tempted, as much as I was, to escape by the side door. A few minutes with him was generally about me not living up to the Whittaker way, whatever that was.

“Rather not, homework to be done.”

“That wasn’t a request.”

No, of course it wasn’t. I should have known that not getting straight A’s for the last set of exams would elicit some sort of a response.

I shrugged and then retraced my steps to the study, which, when my father wasn’t in residence, was the library of first editions. That library was worth far more than the house.

A glance at the humidified bookcases as I passed showed no new additions.

He was standing behind his desk. “Sit.”

The chair of denouncement. He always chose to look down on you when delivering the guilty verdict, making you feel small and squirming under the weight of the words.

“I prefer to stand.” Eye to eye.

One of the more severe teachers at school, one whom we always believed hated his job, hated the other teachers and hated every single student, wasn’t who I thought he was.

Sent there for punishment, he stood me before him and looked me in the eyes, and asked me straight out why I shouldn’t be punished.

And I told him. In no uncertain terms.

First kid to ever talk back to him. I didn’t really care if he doubled it. He didn’t. We talked about how the world had gone to hell in a handbasket, then he sent me home, telling me that if an opponent couldn’t look you in the eyes, then he was not worth the effort.

“Genevieve Dubois?”

“Yesterday’s news. I thought she cared about me. She does not.”

“Not what her father tells me. She’s under the impression she did something wrong.”

What did this have to do with anything? When did my father give a damn about any of my romantic attachments? His domain was making my sisters’ boyfriends shit themselves.

“If you want a list, give me a week. You do realise her previous boyfriend was Tommy Blake. He was more her speed. There’s a new chap, Tommy’s clone, Berkeley. Never get in the way of quarterbacks and Prom Queens.”

“The perils of high school, eh?”

My father had been there star quarterback for the school in his day, and my mother the prom queen. Those days were long gone, but both apparently made a hit at the last reunion. I saw the original prom photos, and she was every bit Genevieve, and yet nothing like her.”

“Different to your days, I’m afraid. You want me to get an education, live up to the Whittaker ideals, then there isn’t time for girls like Genevieve.”

“Do you like her?”

Odd question. Why would he care? “I always have, since the first day I saw her. But I also knew that she would never care for me in the same way.”

“And for the last year?”

How did he know any of this? He was never home, and never asked, just yelled at me over slipping grades.

“I was a convenient shoulder to cry on while she assessed the boys for her next target. I was the safest option. She’s got over the hurt and she’s ready to move on. I simply gave her permission. What the hell is this all about?”

“Appearances. Something you will never understand. The two of you together … had a purpose.”

“Not for me. To her, I’m an object of ridicule. I’m done with her.”

He sighed. There was more to this story, and if he was going to tell me, he’d decided against it.

“Give it some consideration, Jack. I’m sure she’s not as bad as you think she is.”

I shrugged. “As you wish.”

…

I usually left my cell phone off after six because it was only a distraction. Sometimes I would leave it on to see if Genevieve would call, but she had better things to do, like the proverbial ‘wash her hair’ excuse.

She called on the beginning before the familiarity breeds contempt phase.

Today I left it on, and, predictably, Genevieve called. It was short, meet her at the bandstand in the park.

It was, if anything, a set-up. That’s how much I thought of her, which sadly wasn’t how I wanted to think of her.

A set-up for what, though?

These days, all the messaging we got was not to go out alone and certainly not to public places like the park at night. There had been incidents, but not for a while. The new sheriff was all about law and order and was as good as his word.

Just the same, I took precautions, but astonishingly, she was alone, waiting.

Contrary to any other time I had seen her, she had dressed in a manner that I preferred, without looking half-naked and painted like a harlot. It was an awful comparison to make, but she was not the only girl in that category. But the one major difference, her hair. It was messy and unkempt.

This version of Genevieve was totally out of character, like it was her sister, not her. It was remarkable how the two looked so alike despite the two-year age difference.

I stood at the top of the steps, keeping a distance between us. I could also monitor any movement in any direction.

“You came,” was all she said.

“You asked politely.”

“You said you were done with me.”

In not as many words, but yes. “Don’t act surprised. I ask a question and you ignore it. I have two eyes, Genevieve.”

“Appearances can be deceptive.”

“In more ways than one. I’ve always known who and what you are, and always hoped that would change; that I might have some effect on you. People do when they’re together over time. Most people.”

She hadn’t become less vacuous, just learned to hide it well in my company. But I had seen her out and about when she hadn’t known I was there, and whatever I saw, it was just an act.

“I’ve changed.”

“With whom? Did you switch places with your sister to try and fool me?” It was harsh and uncalled for, but I was angry.

“Do you hate me that much?” Tears. I knew there was going to be tears.

“I don’t hate you, I could never hate you. But I don’t think you know or will know how to reciprocate that love. It’s just not in you.”

She didn’t answer. Instead, she used a tissue to wipe away the tears.

My father’s words were still ringing in my ears, that there was a purpose. What purpose. What could he need for Genevieve and me to be together?

“What’s this really about. I get home, and my father is there. He’s never there. And worse, he’s asking me about us. He’s never, ever, ever cared about anything I do except when my grades slip to an A minus. In any other universe, you and I would be a world apart.”

“My father spoke to me, too, or, rather, he yelled a lot. He’s never done that. We are both in a different universe, as you put it. But he was right about one thing. You put up with me when I was a miserable bitch, and very few people would. My mother certainly wasn’t any help, not that she’s much older than me. God, I hate my father, because my real mother won’t have anything to do with me. I remind her of him, and so she hates me, so I had only your shoulder to cry on.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” It was a sad story, and it was making me feel bad, but I had to be unwavering. She was still the same manipulative leader of that pack of mean girls.

“No. It’s just how it is.”

“What about Berkeley. I saw you talking to him. He has to be happy you’re free now?”

“He is, but I read between the lines. I’m simply a challenge and a ticket to Prom King.”

“Give it to him. I don’t want to be King; in fact, I’m not going.” Or did I just work out what my father’s subtext was all about?

“Like me, you won’t have a choice. I told Berkeley he can be friends, but he isn’t going to be the King. You are whether you like it or not. Between the two of our fathers, both vying to be the school’s principal benefactor for this year, we got caught in the crossfire. I overheard my dad talking, well, yelling, at your father.”

Of course, I should have seen the signs. Elections for public office, nothing sticks in the minds of the voters than a large donation, and there were solid rumours about a school stadium for the basketball team. We had a good team, and a bad stadium.

I sighed. Nothing was ever going to be straightforward.

“So what’s the deal?”

“Do you have to make it sound like a transaction?”

“You don’t care about me, so what’s the difference?”

“What if I said I did?”

“I’d say I’d just stepped into whatever unreal universe you’re in.”

“Well, I guess I have about a month to prove the impossible. You could have come, told me where to go, and left but you didn’t. Instead, we had the talk we should have had six months ago, and I now know how much of the mountain I have to climb. To you, impossible; to me, improbable. Now, come over here and sit, and if you’re nice to me, I’ll share what’s in this picnic basket.”

I sighed, for about the tenth time in five minutes. What harm could it do?

….

An excerpt from “One Last Look”: Charlotte is no ordinary girl

This is currently available at Amazon here: http://amzn.to/2CqUBcz

…

I’d read about out-of-body experiences, and like everyone else, thought it was nonsense. Some people claimed to see themselves in the operating theatre, medical staff frantically trying to revive them, and being surrounded by white light.

I was definitely looking down, but it wasn’t me I was looking at.

It was two children, a boy and a girl, with their parents, in a park.

The boy was Alan. He was about six or seven. The girl was Louise, and she was five years old. She had long red hair and looked the image of her mother.

I remember it now, it was Louise’s birthday and we went down to Bournemouth to visit our Grandmother, and it was the last time we were all together as a family.

We were flying homemade kites our father had made for us, and after we lay there looking up at the sky, making animals out of the clouds. I saw an elephant, Louise saw a giraffe.

We were so happy then.

Before the tragedy.

When I looked again ten years had passed and we were living in hell. Louise and I had become very adept at survival in a world we really didn’t understand, surrounded by people who wanted to crush our souls.

It was not a life a normal child had, our foster parents never quite the sort of people who were adequately equipped for two broken-hearted children. They tried their best, but their best was not good enough.

Every day it was a battle, to avoid the Bannister’s and Archie in particular, every day he made advances towards Louise and every day she fended him off.

Until one day she couldn’t.

Now I was sitting in the hospital, holding Louise’s hand. She was in a coma, and the doctors didn’t think she would wake from it. The damage done to her was too severe.

The doctors were wrong.

She woke, briefly, to name her five assailants. It was enough to have them arrested. It was not enough to have them convicted.

Justice would have to be served by other means.

I was outside the Bannister’s home.

I’d made my way there without really thinking, after watching Louise die. It was like being on autopilot, and I had no control over what I was doing. I had murder in mind. It was why I was holding an iron bar.

Skulking in the shadows. It was not very different from the way the Bannister’s operated.

I waited till Archie came out. I knew he eventually would. The police had taken him to the station for questioning, and then let him go. I didn’t understand why, nor did I care.

I followed him up the towpath, waiting till he stopped to light a cigarette, then came out of the shadows.

“Wotcha got there Alan?” he asked when he saw me. He knew what it was, and what it was for.

It was the first time I’d seen the fear in his eyes. He was alone.

“Justice.”

“For that slut of a sister of yours. I had nuffing to do with it.”

“She said otherwise, Archie.”

“She never said nuffing, you just made it up.” An attempt at bluster, but there was no confidence in his voice.

I held up the pipe. It had blood on it. Willy’s blood. “She may or may not have Archie, but Willy didn’t make it up. He sang like a bird. That’s his blood, probably brains on the pipe too, Archie, and yours will be there soon enough.”

“He dunnit, not me. Lyin’ bastard would say anything to save his own skin.” Definitely scared now, he was looking to run away.

“No, Archie. He didn’t. I’m coming for you. All of you Bannisters. And everyone who touched my sister.”

It was the recurring nightmare I had for years afterwards.

I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the thoughts, the images of Louise, the phone call, the visit to the hospital and being there when she succumbed to her injuries. Those were the very worst few hours of my life.

She had asked me to come to the railway station and walk home with her, and I was running late. If I had left when I was supposed to, it would never have happened and for years afterwards, I blamed myself for her death.

If only I’d not been late…

When the police finally caught the rapists, I’d known all along who they’d be; antagonists from school, the ring leader, Archie Bannister, a spurned boyfriend, a boy whose parents, ubiquitously known to all as ‘the Bannister’s, dealt in violence and crime and who owned the neighbourhood. The sins of the father had been very definitely passed onto the son.

At school, I used to be the whipping boy, Archie, a few grades ahead of me, made a point of belting me and a few of the other boys, to make sure the rest did as they were told. He liked Louise, but she had no time for a bully like him, even when he promised he would ‘protect’ me.

I knew the gang members, the boys who tow-kowed to save getting beaten up, and after the police couldn’t get enough information to prosecute them because everyone was too afraid to speak out, I went after Willy. There was always a weak link in a group, and he was it.

He worked in a factory, did long hours on a Wednesday and came home after dark alone. It was a half mile walk, through a park. The night I approached him, I smashed the lights and left it in darkness. He nearly changed his mind and went the long way home.

He didn’t.

It took an hour and a half to get the names. At first, when he saw me, he laughed. He said I would be next, and that was four words more than he knew he should have said.

When I found him alone the next morning I showed him the iron bar and told him he was on the list. I didn’t kill him then, he could wait his turn, and worry about what was going to happen to him.

When the police came to visit me shortly after that encounter, no doubt at the behest of the Bannister’s, the neighbourhood closed ranks and gave me an ironclad alibi. The Bannister’s then came to visit me and threatened me. I told them their days were numbered and showed them the door.

At the trial, he and his friends got off on a technicality. The police had failed to do their job properly, but it was not the police, but a single policeman, corrupted by the Bannisters.

Archie could help but rub it in my face. He was invincible.

Joe Collins took 12 bullets and six hours to bleed out. He apologized, he pleaded, he cried, he begged. I didn’t care.

Barry Mills, a strong lad with a mind to hurting people, Archie’s enforcer, almost got the better of me. I had to hit him more times than I wanted to, and in the end, I had to be satisfied that he died a short but agonizing death.

I revisited Willy in the hospital. He’d recovered enough to recognize me, and why I’d come. Suffocation was too good for him.

David Williams, second in command of the gang, was as tough and nasty as the Bannisters. His family were forging a partnership with the Bannister’s to make them even more powerful. Outwardly David was a pleasant sort of chap, affable, polite, and well mannered. A lot of people didn’t believe he could be like, or working with, the Bannisters.

He and I met in the pub. We got along like old friends. He said Willy had just named anyone he could think of, and that he was innocent of any charges. We shook hands and parted as friends.

Three hours later he was sitting in a chair in the middle of a disused factory, blindfolded and scared. I sat and watched him, listened to him, first threatening me, and then finally pleading with me. He’d guessed who it was that had kidnapped him.

When it was dark, I took the blindfold off and shone a very bright light in his eyes. I asked him if the violence he had visited upon my sister was worth it. He told me he was just a spectator.

I’d read the coroner’s report. They all had a turn. He was a liar.

He took nineteen bullets to die.

Then came Archie.

The same factory only this time there were four seats. Anna Bannister, brothel owner, Spike Bannister, head of the family, Emily Bannister, sister, and who had nothing to do with their criminal activities. She just had the misfortune of sharing their name.

Archie’s father told me how he was going to destroy me, and everyone I knew.

A well-placed bullet between the eyes shut him up.

Archie’s mother cursed me. I let her suffer for an hour before I put her out of her misery.

Archie remained stony-faced until I came to Emily. The death of his parents meant he would become head of the family. I guess their deaths meant as little to him as they did me.

He was a little more worried about his sister.

I told him it was confession time.

He told her it was little more than a forced confession and he had done nothing to deserve my retribution.

I shrugged and shot her, and we both watched her fall to the ground screaming in agony. I told him if he wanted her to live, he had to genuinely confess to his crimes. This time he did, it all poured out of him.

I went over to Emily. He watched in horror as I untied her bindings and pulled her up off the floor, suffering only from a small wound in her arm. Without saying a word she took the gun and walked over to stand behind him.

“Louise was my friend, Archie. My friend.”

Then she shot him. Six times.

To me, after saying what looked like a prayer, she said, “Killing them all will not bring her back, Alan, and I doubt she would approve of any of this. May God have mercy on your soul.”

Now I was in jail. I’d spent three hours detailing the deaths of the five boys, everything I’d done; a full confession. Without my sister, my life was nothing. I didn’t want to go back to the foster parents; I doubt they’d take back a murderer.

They were not allowed to.

For a month I lived in a small cell, in solitary, no visitors. I believed I was in the queue to be executed, and I had mentally prepared myself for the end.

Then I was told I had a visitor, and I was expecting a priest.

Instead, it was a man called McTavish. Short, wiry, and with an accent that I could barely understand.

“You’ve been a bad boy, Alan.”

When I saw it was not the priest I told the jailers not to let him in, I didn’t want to speak to anyone. They ignored me. I’d expected he was a psychiatrist, come to see whether I should be shipped off to the asylum.

I was beginning to think I was going mad.

I ignored him.

“I am the difference between you living or dying Alan, it’s as simple as that. You’d be a wise man to listen to what I have to offer.”

Death sounded good. I told him to go away.

He didn’t. Persistent bugger.

I was handcuffed to the table. The prison officers thought I was dangerous. Five, plus two, murders, I guess they had a right to think that. McTavish sat opposite me, ignoring my request to leave.

“Why’d you do it?”

“You know why.” Maybe if I spoke he’d go away.

“Your sister. By all accounts, the scum that did for her deserved what they got.”

“It was murder just the same. No difference between scum and proper people.”

“You like killing?”

“No-one does.”

“No, I dare say you’re right. But you’re different, Alan. As clean and merciless killing I’ve ever seen. We can use a man like you.”

“We?”

“A group of individuals who clean up the scum.”

I looked up to see his expression, one of benevolence, totally out of character for a man like him. It looked like I didn’t have a choice.

Trained, cleared, and ready to go.

I hadn’t realized there were so many people who were, for all intents and purposes, invisible. People that came and went, in malls, in hotels, trains, buses, airports, everywhere, people no one gave a second glance.

People like me.

In a mall, I became a shopper.

In a hotel, I was just another guest heading to his room.

On a bus or a train, I was just another commuter.

At the airport, I became a pilot. I didn’t need to know how to fly; everyone just accepted a pilot in a pilot suit was just what he looked like.

I had a passkey.

I had the correct documents to get me onto the plane.

That walk down the air bridge was the longest of my life. Waiting for the call from the gate, waiting for one of the air bridge staff to challenge me, stepping onto the plane.

Two pilots and a steward. A team. On the plane early before the rest of the crew. A group that was committing a crime, had committed a number of crimes and thought they’d got away with it.

Until the judge, the jury and their executioner arrived.

Me.

Quick, clean, merciless. Done.

I was now an operational field agent.

I was older now, and I could see in the mirror I was starting to go grey at the sides. It was far too early in my life for this, but I expect it had something to do with my employment.

I didn’t recognize the man who looked back at me.

It was certainly not Alan McKenzie, nor was there any part of that fifteen-year-old who had made the decision to exact revenge.

Given a choice; I would not have gone down this path.

Or so I kept telling myself each time a little more of my soul was sold to the devil.

I was Barry Gamble.

I was Lenny Buckman.

I was Jimmy Hosen.

I was anyone but the person I wanted to be.

That’s what I told Louise, standing in front of her grave, and trying to apologize for all the harm, all the people I’d killed for that one rash decision. If she was still alive she would be horrified, and ashamed.

Head bowed, tears streamed down my face.

God had gone on holiday and wasn’t there to hand out any forgiveness. Not that day. Not any day.

New York, New Years Eve.

I was at the end of a long tour, dragged out of a holiday and back into the fray, chasing down another scumbag. They were scumbags, and I’d become an automaton hunting them down and dispatching them to what McTavish called a better place.

This time I failed.

A few drinks to blot out the failure, a blonde woman who pushed my buttons, a room in a hotel, any hotel, it was like being on the merry-go-round, round and round and round…

Her name was Silvia or Sandra, or someone I’d met before, but couldn’t quite place her. It could be an enemy agent for all I knew or all I cared right then.

I was done.

I’d had enough.

I gave her the gun.

I begged her to kill me.

She didn’t.

Instead, I simply cried, letting the pent up emotion loose after being suppressed for so long, and she stayed with me, holding me close, and saying I was safe, that she knew exactly how I felt.

How could she? No one could know what I’d been through.

I remembered her name after she had gone.

Amanda.

I remembered she had an imperfection in her right eye.

Someone else had the same imperfection.

I couldn’t remember who that was.

Not then.

I had a dingy flat in Kensington, a place that I rarely stayed in if I could help it. After five-star hotel rooms, it made me feel shabby.

The end of another mission, I was on my way home, the underground, a bus, and then a walk.

It was late.

People were spilling out of the pub after the last drinks. Most in good spirits, others slightly more boisterous.

A loud-mouthed chap bumped into me, the sort who had one too many, and was ready to take on all comers.

He turned on me, “Watch where you’re going, you fool.”

Two of his friends dragged him away. He shrugged them off, squared up.

I punched him hard, in the stomach, and he fell backwards onto the ground. I looked at his two friends. “Take him home before someone makes mincemeat out of him.”

They grabbed his arms, lifted him off the ground and took him away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a woman, early thirties, quite attractive, but very, very drunk. She staggered from the bar, bumped into me, and finished up sitting on the side of the road.

I looked around to see where her friends were. The exodus from the pub was over and the few nearby were leaving to go home.

She was alone, drunk, and by the look of her, unable to move.

I sat beside her. “Where are your friends?”

“Dunno.”

“You need help?”

She looked up, and sideways at me. She didn’t look the sort who would get in this state. Or maybe she was, I was a terrible judge of women.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Nobody.” I was exactly how I felt.

“Well Mr Nobody, I’m drunk, and I don’t care. Just leave me here to rot.”

She put her head back between her knees, and it looked to me she was trying to stop the spinning sensation in her head.

Been there before, and it’s not a good feeling.

“Where are your friends?” I asked again.

“Got none.”

“Perhaps I should take you home.”

“I have no home.”

“You don’t look like a homeless person. If I’m not mistaken, those shoes are worth more than my weekly salary.” I’d seen them advertised, in the airline magazine, don’t ask me why the ad caught my attention.

She lifted her head and looked at me again. “You a smart fucking arse are you?”

“I have my moments.”

“Have them somewhere else.”

She rested her head against my shoulder. We were the only two left in the street, and suddenly in darkness when the proprietor turned off the outside lights.

“Take me home,” she said suddenly.

“Where is your place?”

“Don’t have one. Take me to your place.”

“You won’t like it.”

“I’m drunk. What’s not to like until tomorrow.”

I helped her to her feet. “You have a name?”

“Charlotte.”

The wedding was in a small church. We had been away for a weekend in the country, somewhere in the Cotswolds, and found this idyllic spot. Graves going back to the dawn of time, a beautiful garden tended by the vicar and his wife, an astonishing vista over hills and down dales.

On a spring afternoon with the sun, the flowers, and the peacefulness of the country.

I had two people at the wedding, the best man, Bradley, and my boss, Watkins.

Charlotte had her sisters Melissa and Isobel, and Isobel’s husband Giovanni, and their daughter Felicity.

And one more person who was as mysterious as she was attractive, a rather interesting combination as she was well over retirement age. She arrived late and left early.

Aunt Agatha.

She looked me up and down with what I’d call a withering look. “There’s more to you than meets the eye,” she said enigmatically.

“Likewise I’m sure,” I said. It earned me an elbow in the ribs from Charlotte. It was clear she feared this woman.

“Why did you come,” Charlotte asked.

“You know why.”

Agatha looked at me. “I like you. Take care of my granddaughter. You do not want me for an enemy.”

OK, now she officially scared me.

She thrust a cheque into my hand, smiled, and left.

“Who is she,” I asked after we watched her depart.

“Certainly not my fairy godmother.”

Charlotte never mentioned her again.

Zurich in summer, not exactly my favourite place.

Instead of going to visit her sister Isobel, we stayed at a hotel in Beethovenstrasse and Isobel and Felicity came to us. Her husband was not with her this time.

Felicity was three or four and looked very much like her mother. She also looked very much like Charlotte, and I’d remarked on it once before and it received a sharp rebuke.

We’d been twice before, and rather than talk to her sister, Charlotte spent her time with Felicity, and they were, together, like old friends. For so few visits they had a remarkable rapport.

I had not broached the subject of children with Charlotte, not after one such discussion where she had said she had no desire to be a mother. It had not been a subject before and wasn’t once since.

Perhaps like all Aunts, she liked the idea of playing with a child for a while and then give it back.

Felicity was curious as to who I was, but never ventured too close. I believed a child could sense the evil in adults and had seen through my facade of friendliness. We were never close.

But…

This time, when observing the two together, something quite out of left field popped into my head. It was not possible, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought she looked like my mother.

And Charlotte had seen me looking in their direction. “You seem distracted,” she said.

“I was just remembering my mother. Odd moment, haven’t done so for a very long time.”

“Why now?” I think she had a look of concern on her face.

“Her birthday, I guess,” I said, the first excuse I could think of.

Another look and I was wrong. She looked like Isobel or Charlotte, or if I wanted to believe it possible, Melissa too.

I was crying, tears streaming down my face.

I was in pain, searing pain from my lower back stretching down into my legs, and I was barely able to breathe.

It was like coming up for air.

It was like Snow White bringing Prince Charming back to life. I could feel what I thought was a gentle kiss and tears dropping on my cheeks, and when I opened my eyes, I saw Charlotte slowly lifting her head, a hand gently stroking the hair off my forehead.

And in a very soft voice, she said, “Hi.”

I could not speak, but I think I smiled. It was the girl with the imperfection in her right eye. Everything fell into place, and I knew, in that instant that we were irrevocably meant to be together.

“Welcome back.”

onelastlookcoverfinal2

“What Sets Us Apart”, a mystery with a twist

David is a man troubled by a past he is trying to forget.

Susan is rebelling against a life of privilege and an exasperated mother who holds a secret that will determine her daughter’s destiny.

They are two people brought together by chance. Or was it?

When Susan discovers her mother’s secret, she goes in search of the truth that has been hidden from her since the day she was born.

When David realizes her absence is more than the usual cooling off after another heated argument, he finds himself being slowly drawn back into his former world of deceit and lies.

Then, back with his former employers, David quickly discovers nothing is what it seems as he embarks on a dangerous mission to find Susan before he loses her forever.

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