Category: Fiction

Writing a book in 365 days – 335

Day 335

Patterns, images and words

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Breaking Free from Conventional Patterns: A Guide to Classicist, Modernist, and Personalised Visual Storytelling

As creatives, we’re often influenced by the styles and trends of our time. When it comes to visual storytelling, two dominant patterns have emerged: classicism and modernism. While these styles have their roots in art and architecture, they also extend to the world of design, writing, and even social media. But what happens when we want to break free from these conventional patterns and forge our own path? In this post, we’ll explore the characteristics of classicist and modernist patterns, discuss the pros and cons of using them, and provide guidance on creating your own unique visual language.

Classicism: Timeless Elegance

Classicism is characterised by:

  • Symmetry and balance
  • Ornate details and embellishments
  • Traditional typography and serif fonts
  • Earthy colours and muted tones
  • References to historical and cultural icons

Classical patterns evoke a sense of tradition, sophistication, and timelessness. They’re often associated with luxury brands, high-end products, and institutions that value heritage and prestige. If you’re aiming to create a sense of authority, trust, and stability, classicist patterns might be the way to go.

Modernism: Bold Innovation

Modernist patterns, on the other hand, are marked by:

  • Clean lines and minimalism
  • Geometric shapes and abstract forms
  • Sans-serif fonts and bold typography
  • Bright colours and bold contrasts
  • Emphasis on functionality and simplicity

Modernist patterns embody the spirit of innovation, progress, and experimentation. They’re commonly used in tech, design, and creative industries that prioritize forward thinking and cutting-edge ideas. If you want to convey a sense of dynamism, creativity, and forward momentum, modernist patterns might be your best bet.

The Risks of Conventional Patterns

While both classicist and modernist patterns have their advantages, relying too heavily on them can lead to:

  • Lack of originality and uniqueness
  • Overuse and clichés
  • Inability to stand out in a crowded market
  • Limited creative freedom and expression

Creating Your Own Patterns: The Power of Personalisation

So, what if you want to break free from these conventional patterns and create something truly unique? The good news is that you can! By combining elements from different styles, experimenting with new forms and shapes, and incorporating personal touches, you can develop a visual language that reflects your brand’s personality and values.

Here are some tips for creating your own patterns:

  1. Experiment with hybrids: Mix and match elements from classicism and modernism to create a style that’s both timeless and innovative.
  2. Draw from personal experiences: Incorporate patterns and motifs that reflect your personal story, interests, or cultural background.
  3. Play with typography: Use custom fonts, handwritten scripts, or unconventional typography to add a touch of personality to your designs.
  4. Incorporate natural elements: Use organic shapes, textures, and colours to bring a sense of warmth and authenticity to your visual storytelling.
  5. Keep it simple: Don’t be afraid to strip away unnecessary elements and focus on simplicity and clarity.

Conclusion

In the world of visual storytelling, patterns and styles can be both a blessing and a curse. While classicist and modernist patterns have their advantages, they can also limit our creative potential and lead to clichés. By embracing the power of personalisation and experimentation, we can break free from conventional patterns and create a visual language that’s truly unique and reflective of our brand’s personality. So, don’t be afraid to take risks, try new things, and forge your own path. The possibilities are endless, and the results can be truly remarkable.

An excerpt from “The Things We Do for Love”; In love, Henry was all at sea!

In the distance, he could hear the dinner bell ringing and roused himself.  Feeling the dampness of the pillow and fearing the ravages of pent-up emotion, he considered not going down but thought it best not to upset Mrs Mac, especially after he said he would be dining.

In the event, he wished he had reneged, especially when he discovered he was not the only guest staying at the hotel.

Whilst he’d been reminiscing, another guest, a young lady, had arrived.  He’d heard her and Mrs Mac coming up the stairs and then shown to a room on the same floor, perhaps at the other end of the passage.

Henry caught his first glimpse of her when she appeared at the door to the dining room, waiting for Mrs Mac to show her to a table.

She was in her mid-twenties, slim, with long brown hair, and the grace and elegance of a woman associated with countless fashion magazines.  She was, he thought, stunningly beautiful with not a hair out of place, and make-up flawlessly applied.  Her clothes were black, simple, elegant, and expensive, the sort an heiress or wife of a millionaire might condescend to wear to a lesser occasion than dinner.

Then there was her expression; cold, forbidding, almost frightening in its intensity.  And her eyes, piercingly blue and yet laced with pain.  Dracula’s daughter was his immediate description of her.

All in all, he considered, the only thing they had in common was, like him, she seemed totally out of place.

Mrs Mac came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron.  She was, she informed him earlier, chef, waitress, hotelier, barmaid, and cleaner all rolled into one.  Coming up to the new arrival, she said, “Ah, Miss Andrews, I’m glad you decided to have dinner.  Would you like to sit with Mr Henshaw, or would you like to have a table of your own?”

Henry could feel her icy stare as she sized up his appeal as a dining companion, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.  He purposely didn’t look back.  In his estimation, his appeal rating was minus six.  Out of a thousand!

“If Mr Henshaw doesn’t mind….”  She looked at him, leaving the query in mid-air.

He didn’t mind and said so.  Perhaps he’d underestimated his rating.

“Good.”  Mrs Mac promptly ushered her over.  Henry stood, made sure she was seated properly and sat.

“Thank you.  You are most kind.”  The way she said it suggested snobbish overtones.

“I try to be when I can.”  It was supposed to nullify her sarcastic tone, but it made him sound a little silly, and when she gave him another of her icy glares, he regretted it.

Mrs Mac quickly intervened, asking, “Would you care for the soup?”

They did, and, after writing the order on her pad, she gave them each a look, imperceptibly shook her head, and returned to the kitchen.

Before Michelle spoke to him again, she had another quick look at him, trying to fathom who and what he might be.  There was something about him.

His eyes mirrored the same sadness she felt, and, yes, there was something else, that it looked like he had been crying.  There was a tinge of redness.

Perhaps, she thought, he was here for the same reason she was.

No.  That wasn’t possible.

Then she said, without thinking, “Do you have any particular reason for coming here?”  Seconds later, she realised she’d spoken it out loud, hadn’t meant to actually ask, it just came out.

It took him by surprise, obviously not the first question he was expecting her to ask of him.

“No, other than it is as far from civilisation, and home as I could get.”

At least we agree on that, she thought.

It was obvious he was running away from something as well.

Given the isolation of the village and lack of geographic hospitality, it was, from her point of view, ideal.  All she had to do was avoid him, and that wouldn’t be difficult.

After getting through this evening first.

“Yes,” she agreed.  “It is that.”

A few seconds passed, and she thought she could feel his eyes on her and wasn’t going to look up.

Until he asked, “What’s your reason?”

Slightly abrupt in manner, perhaps, because of her question and how she asked it.

She looked up.  “Rest.  And have some time to myself.”

She hoped he would notice the emphasis she had placed on the word ‘herself’ and take due note.  No doubt, she thought, she had completely different ideas of what constituted a holiday than he, not that she had said she was here for a holiday.

Mrs Mac arrived at a fortuitous moment to save them from further conversation.

Over the entree, she wondered if she had made a mistake coming to the hotel.  Of course, there had been no conceivable way she could know that anyone else might have booked the same hotel, but she realised it was foolish to think she might end up in it by herself.

Was that what she was expecting?

Not a mistake then, but an unfortunate set of circumstances, which could be overcome by being sensible.

Yet, there he was, and it made her curious, not that he was a man, by himself, in the middle of nowhere, hiding like she was, but for quite varied reasons.

On discreet observation, whilst they ate, she gained the impression his air of light-heartedness was forced, and he had no sense of humour.

This feeling was engendered by his looks, unruly dark hair, and permanent frown.  And then there was his abysmal taste in clothes on a tall, lanky frame.  They were quality but totally unsuited to the wearer.

Rebellion was written all over him.

The only other thought crossing her mind, and incongruously, was that he could do with a decent feed.  In that respect, she knew now from the mountain of food in front of her, he had come to the right place.

“Mr Henshaw?”

He looked up.  “Henshaw is too formal.  Henry sounds much better,” he said, with a slight hint of gruffness.

“Then my name is Michelle.”

Mrs Mac came in to take their order for the only main course, gather up the entree dishes, and then return to the kitchen.

“Staying long?” she asked.

“About three weeks.  Yourself?”

“About the same.”

The conversation dried up.

Neither looked at the other, but rather at the walls, out the window, towards the kitchen, anywhere.  It was, she thought, unbearably awkward.

Mrs Mac returned with a large tray with dishes on it, setting it down on the table next to theirs.

“Not as good as the usual cook,” she said, serving up the dinner expertly, “but it comes a good second, even if I do say so myself.  Care for some wine?”

Henry looked at Michelle.  “What do you think?”

“I’m used to my dining companions making the decision.”

You would, he thought.  He couldn’t help but notice the cutting edge of her tone.  Then, to Mrs Mac, he named a particular White Burgundy he liked, and she bustled off.

“I hope you like it,” he said, acknowledging her previous comment with a smile that had nothing to do with humour.

“Yes, so do I.”

Both made a start on the main course, a concoction of chicken and vegetables that were delicious, Henry thought when compared to the bland food he received at home and sometimes aboard my ship.

It was five minutes before Mrs Mac returned with the bottle and two glasses.  After opening it and pouring the drinks, she left them alone again.

Henry resumed the conversation.  “How did you arrive?  I came by train.”

“By car.”

“Did you drive yourself?”

And he thought, a few seconds later, that was a silly question; otherwise, she would not be alone, and certainly not sitting at this table. With him.

“After a fashion.”

He could see that she was formulating a retort in her mind, then changed it, instead, smiling for the first time, and it served to lighten the atmosphere.

And in doing so, it showed him she had another, more pleasant side despite the fact she was trying not to look happy.

“My father reckons I’m just another of ‘those’ women drivers,” she added.

“Whatever for?”

“The first and only time he came with me, I had an accident.  I ran up the back of another car.  Of course, it didn’t matter to him that the other driver was driving like a startled rabbit.”

“It doesn’t help,” he agreed.

“Do you drive?”

“Mostly people up the wall.”  His attempt at humour failed.  “Actually,” he added quickly, “I’ve got a very old Morris that manages to get me where I’m going.”

The apple pie and cream for dessert came and went, and the rapport between them improved as the wine disappeared and the coffee came.  Both had found, after getting to know each other better, that their first impressions were not necessarily correct.

“Enjoy the food?” Mrs Mac asked, suddenly reappearing.

“Beautifully cooked and delicious to eat,” Michelle said, and Henry endorsed her remarks.

“Ah, it does my heart good to hear such genuine compliments,” she said, smiling.  She collected the last of the dishes and disappeared yet again.

“What do you do for a living?” Michelle asked in an offhand manner.

He had a feeling she was not particularly interested, and it was just making conversation.

“I’m a purser.”

“A what?”

“A purser.  I work on a ship doing the paperwork, that sort of thing.”

“I see.”

“And you?”

“I was a model.”

“Was?”

“Until I had an accident, a rather bad one.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

So that explained the odd feeling he had about her.

As the evening wore on, he began to think there might be something wrong, seriously wrong with her because she didn’t look too well.  Even the carefully applied makeup, from close, didn’t hide the very pale, tired look, or the sunken, dark-ringed eyes.

“I try not to think about it, but it doesn’t necessarily work.  I’ve come here for peace and quiet, away from doctors and parents.”

“Then you will not have to worry about me annoying you.  I’m one of those fall-asleep-reading-a-book types.”

Perhaps it would be like ships passing in the night, and then he smiled to himself about the analogy.

Dinner over, they separated.

Henry went back to the lounge to read a few pages of his book before going to bed, and Michelle went up to her room to retire for the night.

But try as he might, he was unable to read, his mind dwelling on the unusual, yet compellingly mysterious person he would be sharing the hotel with.

Overlaying that original blurred image of her standing in the doorway was another of her haunting expressions that had, he finally conceded, taken his breath away, and a look that had sent more than one tingle down his spine.

She may not have thought much of him, but she had certainly made an impression on him.

…

© Charles Heath 2015-2024

lovecoverfinal1

In a word: Right

Am I right?  Or is that correct?

In the moral sense, or in answering a question?

Do I have a right to …

As an entitlement?

Maybe

But right means generally to be correct, but the word itself can be used, like many others in a variety of ways

Such as, do we have any rights any more, since the government is slowly shutting down our freedoms, and, you guessed it, rights.

What about a right angle, we know this as being an angle of 90 degrees

How about I right a wrong, returning a bad situation to a good one?

Are you left-handed or right-handed?

Are you one of those people who can’t tell their left from their right?

And who was it that decided what was your left or your right, ever thought about that?  I didn’t until just now.  Good luck finding an answer on Google.

And how many times have you wished you were in the right place at the right time???

Then, of course, if English is a second language, how about confusing right with write.

Means something quite different, doesn’t it?

How about rite?  Yes, I guess if we were in the habit of chopping chicken heads off and dancing around a fire, that might be its meaning,

But…

It too has a lot of different meanings

Are you confused yet?

An excerpt from “If Only” – a work in progress

Investigation of crimes doesn’t always go according to plan, nor does the perpetrator get either found or punished.

That was particularly true in my case.  The murderer was incredibly careful in not leaving any evidence behind, to the extent that the police could not rule out whether it was a male or a female.

At one stage the police thought I had murdered my own wife though how I could be on a train at the time of the murder was beyond me.  I had witnesses and a cast-iron alibi.

The officer in charge was Detective First Grade Gabrielle Walters.  She came to me on the day after the murder seeking answers to the usual questions like, when was the last time you saw your wife, did you argue, the neighbors reckon there were heated discussions the day before.

Routine was the word she used.

Her fellow detective was a surly piece of work whose intention was to get answers or, more likely, a confession by any or all means possible.  I could sense the raging violence within him.  Fortunately, common sense prevailed.

Over the course of the next few weeks, once I’d been cleared of committing the crime, Gabrielle made a point of keeping me informed of the progress.

After three months the updates were more sporadic, and when, for lack of progress, it became a cold case, communication ceased.

But it was not the last I saw of Gabrielle.

The shock of finding Vanessa was more devastating than the fact she was now gone, and those images lived on in the same nightmare that came to visit me every night when I closed my eyes.

For months I was barely functioning, to the extent I had all but lost my job, and quite a few friends, particularly those who were more attached to Vanessa rather than me.

They didn’t understand how it could affect me so much, and since it had not happened to them, my tart replies of ‘you wouldn’t understand’ were met with equally short retorts.  Some questioned my sanity, even, for a time, so did I.

No one, it seemed, could understand what it was like, no one except Gabrielle.

She was by her own admission, damaged goods, having been the victim of a similar incident, a boyfriend who turned out to be an awfully bad boy.  Her story varied only in she had been made to witness his execution.  Her nightmare, in reliving that moment in time, was how she was still alive and, to this day, had no idea why she’d been spared.

It was a story she told me one night, some months after the investigation had been scaled down.  I was still looking for the bottom of a bottle and an emotional mess.  Perhaps it struck a resonance with her; she’d been there and managed to come out the other side.

What happened become our secret, a once-only night together that meant a great deal to me, and by mutual agreement, it was not spoken of again.  It was as if she knew exactly what was required to set me on the path to recovery.

And it had.

Since then, we saw each about once a month in a cafe.   I had been surprised to hear from her again shortly after that eventful night when she called to set it up, ostensibly for her to provide me with any updates on the case, but perhaps we had, after that unspoken night, formed a closer bond than either of us wanted to admit.

We generally talked for hours over wine, then dinner and coffee.  It took a while for me to realize that all she had was her work, personal relationships were nigh on impossible in a job that left little or no spare time for anything else.

She’d always said that if I had any questions or problems about the case, or if there was anything that might come to me that might be relevant, even after all this time, all I had to do was call her.

I wondered if this text message was in that category.  I was certain it would interest the police and I had no doubt they could trace the message’s origin, but there was that tiny degree of doubt, about whether or not I could trust her to tell me what the message meant.

I reached for the phone then put it back down again.  I’d think about it and decide tomorrow.

© Charles Heath 2018-2020

Third son of a Duke – The research behind the story – 17

All stories require some form of research, quite often to place a character in a place at a particular time, especially if it is in a historical context. This series will take you through what it was like in 1914 through 1916.

…

Port Said in 1915: A Crucible of War and Transition Compared to 1913

Abstract:

This paper examines the transformation of Port Said, Egypt, between 1913 and 1915, focusing on the significant shifts brought about by the burgeoning Great War. It analyses the port’s socio-economic landscape, architectural development, and burgeoning strategic importance, contrasting the relative normalcy of 1913 with the heightened military presence and disruption of 1915. Furthermore, the paper reconstructs the visual and sensory experience of soldiers, nurses, and doctors disembarking at Port Said’s troop staging points in 1915, highlighting the stark contrast between their expectations and the emergent realities of wartime transit, and the critical role the port played as a gateway to the Egyptian front and beyond.

1. Introduction:

Port Said, strategically situated at the northern terminus of the Suez Canal, was a city accustomed to a ceaseless flow of maritime traffic and a diverse cosmopolitan population. In the pre-war years, it represented a vital nexus of global trade, a sophisticated hub for imperial transit, and a burgeoning tourist destination. However, the outbreak of the First World War in 1914 irrevocably altered the trajectory of this vibrant city. By 1915, Port Said had transitioned from a bustling commercial port to a critical strategic asset, a staging ground for Allied troops, and a crucial logistical centre. This paper aims to delineate the salient differences in the character of Port Said between 1913 and 1915, and to vividly portray the experience of military personnel disembarking there, particularly for those destined for troop staging points in Egypt.

2. Port Said in 1913: A Hub of Commerce and Cosmopolitanism

In 1913, Port Said was a city thriving on its unique geographical position. The Suez Canal, opened in 1869, had transformed this once-modest fishing village into a major international port.

  • Economic Landscape: The economy was dominated by shipping, bunkering (coaling of steamships), and associated services. Large shipping companies operated offices, and a significant workforce was employed in loading, unloading, and servicing vessels. Warehouses, customs houses, and repair yards were prominent features. The presence of numerous hotels, restaurants, and shops catering to affluent travellers and sailors from across the globe contributed to a lively and international atmosphere. The city was a point of departure and arrival for passengers travelling between Europe and Asia, Africa, or Australia, fostering a sense of global interconnectedness. Commercial activity was robust, driven by the constant stream of merchant vessels navigating the Canal.
  • Urban Development and Architecture: Port Said boasted a distinctive blend of architectural styles. European colonial influences were evident in its grand hotels, like the Hotel des Voyageurs and the Continental, along with administrative buildings. French architectural styles were particularly prevalent, reflecting early French involvement in the Canal’s construction. The city centre featured wide avenues, shaded by trees, and elegant buildings designed for commerce and leisure. The waterfront promenade, the Ramleh, was a popular social gathering place, lined with cafés and offering panoramic views of the bustling harbour. Despite its colonial overlay, Egyptian architectural elements and local marketplaces also co-existed, creating a unique urban fabric.
  • Social Fabric: The population was a heterogeneous mix of Egyptians (predominantly from the Nile Delta), Greeks, Italians, British, French, Maltese, and other nationalities, each contributing to the port’s cosmopolitan character. This diversity brought a vibrant cultural exchange, reflected in the city’s cuisine, languages, and social customs. While social stratification existed, with European residents and business owners at the top, the shared economic interests tied to the Canal fostered a degree of inter-ethnic interaction. The atmosphere was generally one of relative peace and prosperity, characterised by the rhythm of maritime trade.
  • Strategic Value (Pre-War): While its strategic importance was recognised, it was primarily viewed through the lens of facilitating global trade and maintaining open sea lanes for imperial powers, particularly Britain and France. The Canal was a protected waterway, but a significant military presence within the city itself was less pronounced than it would soon become.

3. Port Said in 1915: A City Mobilised for War

By 1915, the outbreak of the Great War had dramatically reshaped Port Said. The port’s role shifted from a commercial hub to a vital military logistical node, a gateway to the burgeoning conflict in the Middle East and a transit point for reinforcements.

  • Economic Reorientation: The demands of war transformed the port’s economy. While commercial shipping continued, it was increasingly overshadowed by military transport. Coaling stations became crucial for naval resupply, and shipyards focused on repairs for military vessels. Warehouses were repurposed for storing military equipment and supplies. The influx of military personnel and the associated logistical needs spurred a boom in certain sectors, such as catering, transportation, and accommodation for transient military personnel. However, the disruption to regular trade routes and the increased cost of goods also impacted the civilian economy.
  • Military Infrastructure and Presence: The most striking change was the pervasive military presence. The city’s infrastructure was adapted to accommodate troop movements and military operations. Barracks and temporary camps were likely established. Docks were dedicated to the rapid disembarkation and loading of troops and supplies. Naval patrols increased, and the Canal itself became a heavily guarded military zone, with fortifications and defensive positions being strengthened. The visual landscape would have been dominated by uniformed men, military vehicles, and the distinctive silhouettes of troopships alongside naval vessels.
  • Urban Transformation and Atmosphere: The cosmopolitan charm of 1913 was largely supplanted by a more sombre and utilitarian atmosphere. While tourist hotels might have been requisitioned for officers or nurses, the general ambience would have felt more regimented and anxious. The presence of censorship and increased security measures would have been palpable. The once leisurely promenade might have become a site of military activity or a place where weary soldiers sought brief respite. The sounds of the port would have shifted from the clatter of commerce to the din of troop movements, the rumble of military engines, and the distant sounds of naval activity.
  • Social and Demographic Shifts: The influx of soldiers, nurses, and doctors dramatically altered the demographic balance. The local civilian population would have been increasingly interacting with and serving the military. New social dynamics would have emerged, with a greater emphasis on military hierarchy and a more guarded interaction between civilians and the transient military population. The presence of wounded soldiers returning from campaigns would have also begun to introduce a sombre element to the city’s life.
  • Heightened Strategic Importance: In 1915, Port Said was no longer just a waypoint for trade; it was a crucial strategic asset in the defence of the Suez Canal and the projection of Allied power into the Middle East. The Ottoman Empire’s proximity and the threat of an attack on the Canal made Port Said a frontier city, albeit one protected by the vastness of the Mediterranean.

4. Disembarking at Port Said in 1915: The Soldier’s, Nurse’s, and Doctor’s Perspective

For soldiers, nurses, and doctors arriving at Port Said in 1915, the experience would have been a stark departure from peacetime travel, marked by the immediate realities of war and transit.

4.1. For the Soldier:

  • The Journey: Soldiers would have likely spent weeks crammed into the holds or on the decks of crowded troopships, enduring rough seas, monotonous rations, and the constant anticipation of the unknown. The smell of sweat, stale air, and engine oil would have been pervasive.
  • The Arrival: As the troopship approached Port Said, the first visual impressions would be of the vast, busy harbour, dotted with warships and a multitude of merchant vessels. The distinctive outline of the city, with its European-style architecture and minarets, might have offered a fleeting sense of exoticism, quickly overshadowed by the military presence. The air, humid and carrying the scent of the sea and perhaps coal smoke, would be a welcome change from the confines of the ship.
  • Disembarkation: Disembarking would be a chaotic but efficient process. Soldiers, weighed down by their kit, would clamber down gangplanks or be lowered by nets onto the quay. The immediate impression would be of noise and activity: the barking of commands, the rumble of lorries, the shouts of stevedores, and the general din of a military operation. The sheer number of men in uniform, from various Allied nations, would be overwhelming.
  • The Staging Point Experience: Port Said served as a crucial staging point. Soldiers would be quickly processed, likely herded into temporary holding areas, or directly loaded onto smaller vessels or trains bound for more permanent encampments or forward positions within Egypt. The experience would be one of constant movement and little respite. The immediate need for sanitation, fresh water, and basic comfort would be paramount. The heat, a stark contrast to European climates, would be a significant factor, especially if arriving during the warmer months.
  • Psychological Impact: The sight of organised military machinery, the potential glimpse of wounded soldiers being treated or evacuated, and the constant reminders of the war effort would instil a sense of purpose but also a degree of apprehension. The initial promise of adventure might be tempered by the harsh reality of military logistics and the looming threat of conflict.

4.2. For the Nurse and Doctor:

  • The Journey: While perhaps enjoying slightly better accommodation than the average soldier, nurses and doctors would still experience the challenges of long sea voyages, including potential seasickness and the limited amenities. Their journey was driven by duty and a desire to serve, often with a sense of urgency.
  • The Arrival: The sight of Port Said would likely be one of organised chaos and a palpable sense of purpose. They would recognise the strategic importance of the location and the immense logistical undertaking. The European architecture might offer a brief moment of familiarity and comfort.
  • Disembarkation and Processing: Nurses and doctors would likely disembark at designated areas, often closer to medical facilities or designated accommodation. They might be met by military officials who would guide them to their assignments. Instead of heavy kit, they would carry medical bags and personal effects.
  • The Staging Point and Hospital Experience: Port Said in 1915 would have been a hub for medical evacuation and preparation. Hospitals, either existing civilian facilities commandeered or newly established military hospitals, would be active. Nurses and doctors would be immediately assessing casualties, preparing for incoming wounded, or being briefed on their roles in the wider theatre of war. The infrastructure would be geared towards efficiency and medical care, with a constant flow of patients and medical supplies. The heat and the tropical environment would present additional challenges for medical practice, requiring acclimatisation and specific protocols.
  • Psychological Impact: For medical personnel, the experience would be a mix of professional determination and emotional strain. The sight of wounded men, the urgent demands of medical care, and the understanding of the immense scale of the conflict would be deeply impactful. Port Said would represent the frontline of care, the initial point of contact for suffering, and the gateway to the medical challenges of the Egyptian and broader Middle Eastern campaigns. The relative order of their arrival might offer a sense of manageable purpose, but the overwhelming task ahead would be ever-present.

5. Conclusion:

The transformation of Port Said between 1913 and 1915 was a profound testament to the disruptive power of total war. The vibrant cosmopolitan port of 1913, characterized by its bustling commercial activity and leisurely international transit, had by 1915 become a highly militarized logistical hub. The architectural and urban fabric, while retaining some of its pre-war character, was now dominated by the machinery of war. For soldiers, nurses, and doctors disembarking for troop staging points in Egypt, Port Said in 1915 presented a stark and immediate immersion into the realities of global conflict. It was a place of transit, processing, and preparation, a crucible where the optimism of departure met the exigencies of war, and a critical gateway to the battles and challenges unfolding on the Egyptian front and beyond. The sensory experience – the sights, sounds, and smells – would have been a dramatic departure from peacetime, signalling a new and demanding chapter in their lives and in the history of this strategic Egyptian port.

“Second Thoughts”, a short story

Get me to the church on time.

It was a tune out of My Fair Lady, and it was in my head the moment I woke up that morning.  And this day was, to quote some immortal’s line, was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

But, somehow, it didn’t feel like that and lying under the warm covers of my bed, perhaps for the last time at my parent’s home, the last place I thought I’d find myself, I began to consider how it was I had ended up in this situation.

It was not a question of who the bride was, we had been friends from an early age and used to joke about getting married, but at the age of six or seven, that was a concept rather than something we might act on in the future.

Except that was how it panned out, and, not for the reasons one might think would lead to such an eventuality.

Yes, we were close friends till the early teens, then my family went in one direction, New York, and her family went in another, San Francisco, and in each place both families built successful businesses.

Josephine, the intended bride, and I met off and on over the next fifteen years, some of that mutually when we were at university together, and, I might add, living together.  Even then, there had been no suggestion of permanency because we each had to go home to eventually work in the family business.

In those few years, it had been easy because there had been no expectations by either of us.  We simply came together, stayed together, and parted at the end both happy to have enjoyed the experience.

Then, several events changed the course of our lives.

My father died unexpectedly at a crucial point in the company’s expansion, and without his direction, it began to flounder.  Then, Josephine arrived in New York to open a branch of her family’s business, and just happened to arrive on the day of my father’s funeral.

I thought it a coincidence and was grateful for her support at a time when I needed it.

A month after that, one of the lead investors in the new expansion plan pulled out, as was his right because the loan had been contingent on my father overseeing the project.  It was the end of a very bad week, and instead of being the last to leave the office, I left early, called up an old friend, Rollo, who had followed us to New York, and we went to his favourite bar.

He suggested a night on the town was called for and I agreed with him.  I think by that time I’d had enough of the problems for a few days.  But with Rollo, I learned no invitation was without its twists and turns, so when he said his sister was bringing a friend, I had to act happy even if I didn’t feel like it.  Her friends could be a little strange.

Another coincidence, the friend was Josephine.  Hearing from her once maybe, but twice in the same week, I didn’t think so, so I let it pass.  Yet despite my reservations, in the end, I had to admit I was glad to see her because the last thing I wanted to do was entertain a quirky woman I didn’t know.

Long story short, Josephine’s family business came aboard as the replacement investor, but not without some rather stringent requirements, and though no one on either side would admit it, it was suggested that perhaps Josephine and I would make an excellent match.  After all, we were childhood friends, had lived together without the problems that sometimes came with it, and we would be working very closely together.

I proposed, she accepted, and everyone was happy.

Well, not everyone.

I was down in the dining room getting breakfast, before the wedding, when Rollo arrived.  It went without saying Rollo was going to be the best man.

Curiously, he was neither surprised nor shocked to learn of my proposal, but it was a surprise to learn, in a roundabout way, he wasn’t exactly happy for me.  It was not anything I could put my finger on, but more of a feeling I had.  And, to be honest, before I had proposed to her, I was sure that Rollo had feelings for her, and at times I thought how much more sense it would make if they were together.

I’d even asked him once or twice if he liked her, and he just said they were friends.

The other side of that equation was his sister, Adrienne, who was, I thought, charming, funny, and sometimes a little offbeat, which is why I was drawn to her.  Over time, I think I may have developed feelings for her, but by the time those feelings were rising to the surface, I was advised that a woman of Josephine’s standing was more my type.

My mother could be very annoying at times, and whilst she might be looking after her son’s best interests, she was also looking after the company’s interests as best she could.  I suspect Josephine’s parents were the same, hoping their daughter would marry advantageously.

Rollo, being on the outside, had summed it up perfectly, ‘if this had been the eighteenth century there’s no doubt you two would be the perfect match’.

“You look as happy as I feel,” I said when I saw him.

“It’s going to be a big day, church wedding, in Latin of all languages, then the society event of the year.  What’s not to be happy about?”

Put like that, I shrugged.  “A registry office, burger and chips at the local diner, then a few days in the Catskills would have sufficed.”

“And on what planet do you think you are right now?”

I didn’t answer.  I simply poured another cup of black coffee and sat down.  It was a large room, with seats for a dozen, and I was the only one up.  I had expected a room full of family members, of which at least twenty were upstairs right now recovering from last night’s festivities.

Rollo poured some tea into a cup and sat opposite.  “OK.  What’s wrong?  Wedding day jitters?”

Could he read my mind?

“It just doesn’t seem right.  I mean, it seems we have been on this track forever, but you know, there’s something missing.”

“Love?”

Exactly.  It was another of those thoughts I had just before I got out of bed.  I liked her, maybe I loved her once, when I didn’t really know what love was, but now?  I don’t know what it was I felt about her.  I had been expecting those mythical thunderbolts to strike, but as the days, weeks, and months wore on, it just didn’t happen.

It was almost if we were going through the motions.

“It feels like it’s going to be a marriage of convenience.”  There, I said it.

And I expected Rollo to start having a fit.  Instead, he concentrated on putting three spoonful’s of sugar into his tea and stirring.  And stirring.  And stirring.

“Say something,” I said.  “Anything.  Tell me I’m being stupid, tell me to get out of my funk and screw my courage to the sticking place, or whatever it is you say in times like this.”

“It’s not like you to drop a bomb like this at a time like this…”

I felt he had more to say, the good part where he’d call me an ass, and then tell me to get my shit together.  It wouldn’t be the first time.

“But…”

“But I rather get the impression this wedding might not be going ahead.”

“It has to.  God knows how many people have put themselves out to be here.  It was, my mother said, a logistical nightmare.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time this has happened.”

“You’re supposed to be arguing for the wedding, not against it.”

“I would if I knew your heart was in it.  But it isn’t, is it?  I think you’ve spent so much time trying to please everyone else, that you have forgotten about yourself.  I know you’re not happy.  I also happen to know that Jo isn’t either.”

“You’ve spoken to her?”

“Just before I got here.  Call her.  You two need to talk.  In the meantime, you’re going to have to repay a huge debt after I somehow manage to sort this mess out.  My car’s outside.  Leave now, and I’ll let you know when it’s safe to return.”

“Where will I go?”

He smiled.  “I’m sure you’ll know by the time you get in the car.”

It was reckless and would cause a lot of pain and anguish for my mother, but I considered how much more pain it would cause to Josephine if I didn’t call it off.

I made the call on the way upstairs to finish dressing.

“I’m assuming you’ve spoken to Rollo?”  She didn’t wait for me to speak.

“You feel the same way?”

“It started out with the best of intentions, but I can’t help thinking if we were right for each other we would have married after university.  We are best friends, Alan, and I don’t think it’s ever going to progress from there.  I know you feel that too, it’s just the pressure from our families has managed to mask our true feelings.”

“Do you have any idea what sort of storm is about to erupt?”

“Everyone will get over it.  There’s too much at stake on both sides for there to be any real or lasting consequences.  I guess Rollo is going to have his work cut out for him.  I’ll see you one the other side.”

She didn’t say what other side, but I suspect it meant when the dust had settled.

I literally ran downstairs, mainly because I heard movement and didn’t want to run into anyone, and out the door towards Rollo’s car.

Once again I had to admire the fact he had exquisite taste in cars, and the one he’d brought was no exception, a Lamborghini, yellow, fast, and he knew I wanted to drive it.

What I didn’t expect. His sister, Phoebe, sitting in the passenger seat.

© Charles Heath 2019

Writing a book in 365 days – 333/334

Days 333 and 334

Writing exercise – Include a love story, a catchy song, and a misunderstanding

…

Was it possible that one person could make a difference?  Yes!

My head and heart were still reeling the next morning, while battling with the effects of lack of sleep, euphoria was running at an all-time high, and the lyrics of ‘I could have danced all night’ were running through my head.

That night, it had been very hard to get to sleep, my mind going over every detail.  Was I writing more into this than there was?  Quite likely.  I would have to find some way of putting it all into some sort of perspective.  We just got along.  We were compatible.  We were not lovers or candidates for an affair.  That was not what I wanted, nor, I’m sure, did Katrina.  It had to be business as usual.

I was looking out the window again, down at the many people pouring out of the railway station on their way to work.  This morning, I viewed them in a different light, as people who, like I, no doubt had the same struggles, the same feelings, the same highs and lows.  No longer did I think I was the only one who could have problems.

Being a bad-tempered, forever-angry manager seemed to be part of the job.  It didn’t take long; after I’d assumed the position, I started to fit the mould.  I guess, after the last manager, the staff had every right to expect more of the same, and I’m afraid I hadn’t let them down.  It wasn’t hard because if you gave them an inch, they took a mile. 

I started with all the best intentions.  Then, as the rot set in at home, it had a great deal of influence at work.  As despondency closed in from all sides, relations on all fronts deteriorated.  Amazingly, I could see it all quite clearly, where things had been going wrong.  Was it symbolic that the sun came out at that precise moment, bathing me in a shaft of sunlight and warmth through the clouds?

Jenny came in with the morning mail.  As was customary, she would put it on the desk, and, if there was anything important, bring it to my attention and leave.  I had heard rumours she was less than impressed with me, but it was hard to find anything out.  Certainly, most mornings, I didn’t so much as acknowledge her existence.

“How are you this morning?”  I turned to catch her just as she was leaving.

She stopped.  “Very well, thank you.”  Her tone was slightly apprehensive.

“I know it’s probably a little late, but I apologise for being the cranky old bastard in the past, and I have greatly appreciated the work you have been doing for me all this time.”

Her apprehension changed to surprise.  “Thank you.”

“And for not going over to Whiteside when they offered it to you.”

“That was easy.  You were the lesser of the two evils.”

I smiled, trying to disarm her fears.  She looked at me, expecting a trap.  I’d also heard about Whiteside.  “I guess, in the fullness of time, when they write the history of this place, it will count for something to be known as the ‘lesser of two evils’.  But to more important things.  What’s really going on in this place?”

It took a while to break down the apprehension.  She had every right to be wary, but I finally convinced her that I was not the monster I was made out to be.  I also knew, discovering quite by accident, she was the editor of the unofficial staff newspaper.  She had a great sense of humour, as well as journalistic ability, which few knew about.

It was a great session, leading up to the morning tea break.  She gave me a rather potted history of each of the people in the department, pointing out, in her opinion, she added quick, their good and bad points.  When I asked her about my colleagues, she was a little more guarded, but I found out enough to satisfy my curiosity.

As she was going, perhaps finally deciding our new working relationship was sufficiently amicable, she asked, “Is there anything going on between you and Katrina?”

I looked at her and smiled.  “No.  As much as everyone would like it, I’m afraid our only claim to fame is morning tea and lunch on the odd occasion.  Still, if people think there is, it won’t matter what I say, will it?”

“No.  I’m afraid not.  You are up against a strange mentality here.”

“What do you think?”

“Does it matter?”

“It may seem odd to you, but yes.”

“She has the extraordinary quality of bringing people out of themselves.  Personally, I believe you.  From my experience working for you, I know you are one of the few with integrity.  And if you did go off the rails, I wouldn’t hold it against you.  This place manages to do it to everyone eventually.”

I deliberately did not go up to the tearoom to see Katrina.  Not that I didn’t want to, but I suspected my face would be a little like an open book, and I needed time to get my thoughts and emotions under control.

She came up to see me mid-morning about a minor administrative problem, which could easily be solved over the phone.  When she came in, I looked up, a felt a little quickening in my heart rate, but otherwise tried to look normal.  The business matter was resolved quickly, but she made no attempt to leave.

“We missed you at tea.”

“Work is piling up.”

“It has nothing to do with us?”

She was direct, and it was as if she could read my thoughts.

“I’m just a bit worried about what people are saying.”

She shook her head.  “Whatever for?”

“You should hardly want to have your name linked to mine in having a sordid affair.”

“Sordid, hey?  I’ve never had a sordid affair.  Is that an offer?”

I felt embarrassed.  Normally, I wouldn’t dream of talking to any woman in this manner.  “You know what I mean.”

“I think I do, and I’m flattered you have considered my feelings.  It’s a rare quality some of your contemporaries should take note of.  But you should not give a damn about what anyone thinks.  You and I know the truth, so we can have the last laugh on all of them.”

She made it sound all too easy, but I was sure it wasn’t quite the way she put it.  We were, unfortunately, up against human nature.  For many, it would be impossible to see that we could be just friends.  And for me?  Or her?  Perhaps it should end here.

“Do you seriously think that’s possible?”  I looked at her, perhaps for the first time, in a different light.  She was quite beautiful, with the look and personality to drive some men to distraction.

I had put my ear to the ground, and she was one of the few women who excited most of the men in this company.  One had even told me his secret desires at one management party, such was the lack of serious topics.  It angered me that my mind could sink to their level.

“I like you, John.  I like you a lot.  You’re going to have to make up your own mind about that.  I have.  What happens from here is up to you.”  With that said, she left me in more turmoil than I needed.

For several days, I went home earlier than usual to see if I could sort out some of the problems at home.  I took the children aside, one at a time, and had a long talk with them.  They thought it was rather novel that I should talk to them at all, but seemed to be willing to give it a chance.

Perhaps it was something I should have done long before this, but it was something that had slipped.  Once, when they were young, I spent more time with them.  Of course, then I was a lowly clerk, without the pressures of promotion.

How much of our interaction with family was lost as we worked our way up the ladder of success?  It was all from a business point of view, not personal, and it was true that the more successful we became in the company, the less successful we were at home.

I had a number of long talks with Joan, taking her to dinner, and spending a weekend away from the children on our own.  There was still some of the feeling we had for each other lurking beneath the hostility.  At times, we had arguments, but they were less intense, and relations were better.

Our discussions, however, were not on the same level as those I could have with Katrina.  Katrina had, in some unimaginable way, opened up a little of me, the real me, I’d not known before.

Whilst we had maintained a relatively platonic relationship, I had set aside any other feelings.  We still had the occasional cup of coffee or quick lunch, but it didn’t have the same feel to it, and she’d noticed it but said nothing.  I missed her, being with her, expressing my feelings.  Being myself, the newly discovered me.

Even Jenny, my new sounding board, said she’d noticed a subtle change.  In fact, at the end of one of our morning briefings, she added the observation, “You should not dwell too much on what other people think.  If you do, you will always be unhappy.”

I knew what she meant.  I leaned back in my chair, hands behind my head, and looked deep into my soul.  What did I want?  What did I feel?  Should I run with it, or run away from it?

I’d known the answer to that long before I picked up the phone.

…

©  Charles Heath  2025

What I learned about writing – It’s a long hard road I’m still on…

Self published authors are fully aware that perhaps the easiest part of the writing journey is the actual writing.  Well, compared to the marketing aspect I believe it is.

I have read a lot of articles, suggestions and tips and tricks to market the book to the reading public.  It is, to say the least, a lot harder to market eBooks than perhaps their hard or paper covered relatives.  This is despite the millions of eReaders out there.

Then there is that other fickle part of the publishing cycle, the need for reviews.  Good reviews of course.  As we are learning, reviews can be bought.  Currently Amazon is out there seeking out these reviews and reviewers and it will be interesting to see the result of their actions.

All the advice I have seen and read tells me that reviews should not be paid for, that reviews will come with sales.  It might be a difficult cycle, more reviews means more sales, etc.  And getting those first sales …

Therein lies the conundrum.  It is a question of paying for advertising, or working it out for ourselves.  I guess if I were to get more sales, I could afford the advertising … yes, back on the merry-go-round!

And yet, the harder the road, the more I enjoy what I do.  It is exhilarating while writing, it is a joy to finish the first draft, it is accomplishment when it is published, but when you sell that first book, well, there is no other feeling like it.

I am inspired.

Now, where are those notes for the next story …

An excerpt from “One Last Look”: Charlotte is no ordinary girl

This is currently available at Amazon here:  http://amzn.to/2CqUBcz

…

I’d read about out-of-body experiences, and like everyone else, thought it was nonsense.  Some people claimed to see themselves in the operating theatre, medical staff frantically trying to revive them, and being surrounded by white light.

I was definitely looking down, but it wasn’t me I was looking at.

It was two children, a boy and a girl, with their parents, in a park.

The boy was Alan.  He was about six or seven.  The girl was Louise, and she was five years old.  She had long red hair and looked the image of her mother.

I remember it now, it was Louise’s birthday and we went down to Bournemouth to visit our Grandmother, and it was the last time we were all together as a family.

We were flying homemade kites our father had made for us, and after we lay there looking up at the sky, making animals out of the clouds.  I saw an elephant, Louise saw a giraffe.

We were so happy then.

Before the tragedy.

When I looked again ten years had passed and we were living in hell.  Louise and I had become very adept at survival in a world we really didn’t understand, surrounded by people who wanted to crush our souls.

It was not a life a normal child had, our foster parents never quite the sort of people who were adequately equipped for two broken-hearted children.  They tried their best, but their best was not good enough.

Every day it was a battle, to avoid the Bannister’s and Archie in particular, every day he made advances towards Louise and every day she fended him off.

Until one day she couldn’t.

Now I was sitting in the hospital, holding Louise’s hand.  She was in a coma, and the doctors didn’t think she would wake from it.  The damage done to her was too severe.

The doctors were wrong.

She woke, briefly, to name her five assailants.  It was enough to have them arrested.  It was not enough to have them convicted.

Justice would have to be served by other means.

I was outside the Bannister’s home.

I’d made my way there without really thinking, after watching Louise die.  It was like being on autopilot, and I had no control over what I was doing.  I had murder in mind.  It was why I was holding an iron bar.

Skulking in the shadows.  It was not very different from the way the Bannister’s operated.

I waited till Archie came out.  I knew he eventually would.  The police had taken him to the station for questioning, and then let him go.  I didn’t understand why, nor did I care.

I followed him up the towpath, waiting till he stopped to light a cigarette, then came out of the shadows.

“Wotcha got there Alan?” he asked when he saw me.  He knew what it was, and what it was for.

It was the first time I’d seen the fear in his eyes.  He was alone.

“Justice.”

“For that slut of a sister of yours.  I had nuffing to do with it.”

“She said otherwise, Archie.”

“She never said nuffing, you just made it up.”  An attempt at bluster, but there was no confidence in his voice.

I held up the pipe.  It had blood on it.  Willy’s blood.  “She may or may not have Archie, but Willy didn’t make it up.  He sang like a bird.  That’s his blood, probably brains on the pipe too, Archie, and yours will be there soon enough.”

“He dunnit, not me.  Lyin’ bastard would say anything to save his own skin.”  Definitely scared now, he was looking to run away.

“No, Archie.  He didn’t.  I’m coming for you.  All of you Bannisters.  And everyone who touched my sister.”

It was the recurring nightmare I had for years afterwards.

I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the thoughts, the images of Louise, the phone call, the visit to the hospital and being there when she succumbed to her injuries.  Those were the very worst few hours of my life.

She had asked me to come to the railway station and walk home with her, and I was running late.  If I had left when I was supposed to, it would never have happened and for years afterwards, I blamed myself for her death.

If only I’d not been late…

When the police finally caught the rapists, I’d known all along who they’d be; antagonists from school, the ring leader, Archie Bannister, a spurned boyfriend, a boy whose parents, ubiquitously known to all as ‘the Bannister’s, dealt in violence and crime and who owned the neighbourhood.  The sins of the father had been very definitely passed onto the son.

At school, I used to be the whipping boy, Archie, a few grades ahead of me, made a point of belting me and a few of the other boys, to make sure the rest did as they were told.  He liked Louise, but she had no time for a bully like him, even when he promised he would ‘protect’ me.

I knew the gang members, the boys who tow-kowed to save getting beaten up, and after the police couldn’t get enough information to prosecute them because everyone was too afraid to speak out, I went after Willy.  There was always a weak link in a group, and he was it.

He worked in a factory, did long hours on a Wednesday and came home after dark alone.  It was a half mile walk, through a park.  The night I approached him, I smashed the lights and left it in darkness.  He nearly changed his mind and went the long way home.

He didn’t.

It took an hour and a half to get the names.  At first, when he saw me, he laughed.  He said I would be next, and that was four words more than he knew he should have said.

When I found him alone the next morning I showed him the iron bar and told him he was on the list.  I didn’t kill him then, he could wait his turn, and worry about what was going to happen to him.

When the police came to visit me shortly after that encounter, no doubt at the behest of the Bannister’s, the neighbourhood closed ranks and gave me an ironclad alibi.  The Bannister’s then came to visit me and threatened me.  I told them their days were numbered and showed them the door.

At the trial, he and his friends got off on a technicality.  The police had failed to do their job properly, but it was not the police, but a single policeman, corrupted by the Bannisters.

Archie could help but rub it in my face.  He was invincible.

Joe Collins took 12 bullets and six hours to bleed out.  He apologized, he pleaded, he cried, he begged.  I didn’t care.

Barry Mills, a strong lad with a mind to hurting people, Archie’s enforcer, almost got the better of me.  I had to hit him more times than I wanted to, and in the end, I had to be satisfied that he died a short but agonizing death.

I revisited Willy in the hospital.  He’d recovered enough to recognize me, and why I’d come.  Suffocation was too good for him.

David Williams, second in command of the gang, was as tough and nasty as the Bannisters.  His family were forging a partnership with the Bannister’s to make them even more powerful.  Outwardly David was a pleasant sort of chap, affable, polite, and well mannered.  A lot of people didn’t believe he could be like, or working with, the Bannisters.

He and I met in the pub.  We got along like old friends.  He said Willy had just named anyone he could think of, and that he was innocent of any charges.  We shook hands and parted as friends.

Three hours later he was sitting in a chair in the middle of a disused factory, blindfolded and scared.  I sat and watched him, listened to him, first threatening me, and then finally pleading with me.  He’d guessed who it was that had kidnapped him.

When it was dark, I took the blindfold off and shone a very bright light in his eyes.  I asked him if the violence he had visited upon my sister was worth it.  He told me he was just a spectator.

I’d read the coroner’s report.  They all had a turn.  He was a liar.

He took nineteen bullets to die.

Then came Archie.

The same factory only this time there were four seats.  Anna Bannister, brothel owner, Spike Bannister, head of the family, Emily Bannister, sister, and who had nothing to do with their criminal activities.  She just had the misfortune of sharing their name.

Archie’s father told me how he was going to destroy me, and everyone I knew.

A well-placed bullet between the eyes shut him up.

Archie’s mother cursed me.  I let her suffer for an hour before I put her out of her misery.

Archie remained stony-faced until I came to Emily.  The death of his parents meant he would become head of the family.  I guess their deaths meant as little to him as they did me.

He was a little more worried about his sister.

I told him it was confession time.

He told her it was little more than a forced confession and he had done nothing to deserve my retribution.

I shrugged and shot her, and we both watched her fall to the ground screaming in agony.  I told him if he wanted her to live, he had to genuinely confess to his crimes.  This time he did, it all poured out of him.

I went over to Emily.  He watched in horror as I untied her bindings and pulled her up off the floor, suffering only from a small wound in her arm.  Without saying a word she took the gun and walked over to stand behind him.

“Louise was my friend, Archie.  My friend.”

Then she shot him.  Six times.

To me, after saying what looked like a prayer, she said, “Killing them all will not bring her back, Alan, and I doubt she would approve of any of this.  May God have mercy on your soul.”

Now I was in jail.  I’d spent three hours detailing the deaths of the five boys, everything I’d done; a full confession.  Without my sister, my life was nothing.  I didn’t want to go back to the foster parents; I doubt they’d take back a murderer.

They were not allowed to.

For a month I lived in a small cell, in solitary, no visitors.  I believed I was in the queue to be executed, and I had mentally prepared myself for the end.

Then I was told I had a visitor, and I was expecting a priest.

Instead, it was a man called McTavish. Short, wiry, and with an accent that I could barely understand.

“You’ve been a bad boy, Alan.”

When I saw it was not the priest I told the jailers not to let him in, I didn’t want to speak to anyone.  They ignored me.  I’d expected he was a psychiatrist, come to see whether I should be shipped off to the asylum.

I was beginning to think I was going mad.

I ignored him.

“I am the difference between you living or dying Alan, it’s as simple as that.  You’d be a wise man to listen to what I have to offer.”

Death sounded good.  I told him to go away.

He didn’t.  Persistent bugger.

I was handcuffed to the table.  The prison officers thought I was dangerous.  Five, plus two, murders, I guess they had a right to think that.  McTavish sat opposite me, ignoring my request to leave.

“Why’d you do it?”

“You know why.”  Maybe if I spoke he’d go away.

“Your sister.  By all accounts, the scum that did for her deserved what they got.”

“It was murder just the same.  No difference between scum and proper people.”

“You like killing?”

“No-one does.”

“No, I dare say you’re right.  But you’re different, Alan.  As clean and merciless killing I’ve ever seen.  We can use a man like you.”

“We?”

“A group of individuals who clean up the scum.”

I looked up to see his expression, one of benevolence, totally out of character for a man like him.  It looked like I didn’t have a choice.

Trained, cleared, and ready to go.

I hadn’t realized there were so many people who were, for all intents and purposes, invisible.  People that came and went, in malls, in hotels, trains, buses, airports, everywhere, people no one gave a second glance.

People like me.

In a mall, I became a shopper.

In a hotel, I was just another guest heading to his room.

On a bus or a train, I was just another commuter.

At the airport, I became a pilot.  I didn’t need to know how to fly; everyone just accepted a pilot in a pilot suit was just what he looked like.

I had a passkey.

I had the correct documents to get me onto the plane.

That walk down the air bridge was the longest of my life.  Waiting for the call from the gate, waiting for one of the air bridge staff to challenge me, stepping onto the plane.

Two pilots and a steward.  A team.  On the plane early before the rest of the crew.  A group that was committing a crime, had committed a number of crimes and thought they’d got away with it.

Until the judge, the jury and their executioner arrived.

Me.

Quick, clean, merciless.  Done.

I was now an operational field agent.

I was older now, and I could see in the mirror I was starting to go grey at the sides.  It was far too early in my life for this, but I expect it had something to do with my employment.

I didn’t recognize the man who looked back at me.

It was certainly not Alan McKenzie, nor was there any part of that fifteen-year-old who had made the decision to exact revenge.

Given a choice; I would not have gone down this path.

Or so I kept telling myself each time a little more of my soul was sold to the devil.

I was Barry Gamble.

I was Lenny Buckman.

I was Jimmy Hosen.

I was anyone but the person I wanted to be.

That’s what I told Louise, standing in front of her grave, and trying to apologize for all the harm, all the people I’d killed for that one rash decision.  If she was still alive she would be horrified, and ashamed.

Head bowed, tears streamed down my face.

God had gone on holiday and wasn’t there to hand out any forgiveness.  Not that day.  Not any day.

New York, New Years Eve.

I was at the end of a long tour, dragged out of a holiday and back into the fray, chasing down another scumbag.  They were scumbags, and I’d become an automaton hunting them down and dispatching them to what McTavish called a better place.

This time I failed.

A few drinks to blot out the failure, a blonde woman who pushed my buttons, a room in a hotel, any hotel, it was like being on the merry-go-round, round and round and round…

Her name was Silvia or Sandra, or someone I’d met before, but couldn’t quite place her.  It could be an enemy agent for all I knew or all I cared right then.

I was done.

I’d had enough.

I gave her the gun.

I begged her to kill me.

She didn’t.

Instead, I simply cried, letting the pent up emotion loose after being suppressed for so long, and she stayed with me, holding me close, and saying I was safe, that she knew exactly how I felt.

How could she?  No one could know what I’d been through.

I remembered her name after she had gone.

Amanda.

I remembered she had an imperfection in her right eye.

Someone else had the same imperfection.

I couldn’t remember who that was.

Not then.

I had a dingy flat in Kensington, a place that I rarely stayed in if I could help it.  After five-star hotel rooms, it made me feel shabby.

The end of another mission, I was on my way home, the underground, a bus, and then a walk.

It was late.

People were spilling out of the pub after the last drinks.  Most in good spirits, others slightly more boisterous.

A loud-mouthed chap bumped into me, the sort who had one too many, and was ready to take on all comers.

He turned on me, “Watch where you’re going, you fool.”

Two of his friends dragged him away.  He shrugged them off, squared up.

I punched him hard, in the stomach, and he fell backwards onto the ground.  I looked at his two friends.  “Take him home before someone makes mincemeat out of him.”

They grabbed his arms, lifted him off the ground and took him away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a woman, early thirties, quite attractive, but very, very drunk.  She staggered from the bar, bumped into me, and finished up sitting on the side of the road.

I looked around to see where her friends were.  The exodus from the pub was over and the few nearby were leaving to go home.

She was alone, drunk, and by the look of her, unable to move.

I sat beside her.  “Where are your friends?”

“Dunno.”

“You need help?”

She looked up, and sideways at me.  She didn’t look the sort who would get in this state.  Or maybe she was, I was a terrible judge of women.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Nobody.”  I was exactly how I felt.

“Well Mr Nobody, I’m drunk, and I don’t care.  Just leave me here to rot.”

She put her head back between her knees, and it looked to me she was trying to stop the spinning sensation in her head.

Been there before, and it’s not a good feeling.

“Where are your friends?” I asked again.

“Got none.”

“Perhaps I should take you home.”

“I have no home.”

“You don’t look like a homeless person.  If I’m not mistaken, those shoes are worth more than my weekly salary.”  I’d seen them advertised, in the airline magazine, don’t ask me why the ad caught my attention.

She lifted her head and looked at me again.  “You a smart fucking arse are you?”

“I have my moments.”

“Have them somewhere else.”

She rested her head against my shoulder.  We were the only two left in the street, and suddenly in darkness when the proprietor turned off the outside lights.

“Take me home,” she said suddenly.

“Where is your place?”

“Don’t have one.  Take me to your place.”

“You won’t like it.”

“I’m drunk.  What’s not to like until tomorrow.”

I helped her to her feet.  “You have a name?”

“Charlotte.”

The wedding was in a small church.  We had been away for a weekend in the country, somewhere in the Cotswolds, and found this idyllic spot.  Graves going back to the dawn of time, a beautiful garden tended by the vicar and his wife, an astonishing vista over hills and down dales.

On a spring afternoon with the sun, the flowers, and the peacefulness of the country.

I had two people at the wedding, the best man, Bradley, and my boss, Watkins.

Charlotte had her sisters Melissa and Isobel, and Isobel’s husband Giovanni, and their daughter Felicity.

And one more person who was as mysterious as she was attractive, a rather interesting combination as she was well over retirement age.  She arrived late and left early.

Aunt Agatha.

She looked me up and down with what I’d call a withering look.  “There’s more to you than meets the eye,” she said enigmatically.

“Likewise I’m sure,” I said.  It earned me an elbow in the ribs from Charlotte.  It was clear she feared this woman.

“Why did you come,” Charlotte asked.

“You know why.”

Agatha looked at me.  “I like you.  Take care of my granddaughter.  You do not want me for an enemy.”

OK, now she officially scared me.

She thrust a cheque into my hand, smiled, and left.

“Who is she,” I asked after we watched her depart.

“Certainly not my fairy godmother.”

Charlotte never mentioned her again.

Zurich in summer, not exactly my favourite place.

Instead of going to visit her sister Isobel, we stayed at a hotel in Beethovenstrasse and Isobel and Felicity came to us.  Her husband was not with her this time.

Felicity was three or four and looked very much like her mother.  She also looked very much like Charlotte, and I’d remarked on it once before and it received a sharp rebuke.

We’d been twice before, and rather than talk to her sister, Charlotte spent her time with Felicity, and they were, together, like old friends.  For so few visits they had a remarkable rapport.

I had not broached the subject of children with Charlotte, not after one such discussion where she had said she had no desire to be a mother.  It had not been a subject before and wasn’t once since.

Perhaps like all Aunts, she liked the idea of playing with a child for a while and then give it back.

Felicity was curious as to who I was, but never ventured too close.  I believed a child could sense the evil in adults and had seen through my facade of friendliness.  We were never close.

But…

This time, when observing the two together, something quite out of left field popped into my head.  It was not possible, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought she looked like my mother.

And Charlotte had seen me looking in their direction.  “You seem distracted,” she said.

“I was just remembering my mother.  Odd moment, haven’t done so for a very long time.”

“Why now?”  I think she had a look of concern on her face.

“Her birthday, I guess,” I said, the first excuse I could think of.

Another look and I was wrong.  She looked like Isobel or Charlotte, or if I wanted to believe it possible, Melissa too.

I was crying, tears streaming down my face.

I was in pain, searing pain from my lower back stretching down into my legs, and I was barely able to breathe.

It was like coming up for air.

It was like Snow White bringing Prince Charming back to life.  I could feel what I thought was a gentle kiss and tears dropping on my cheeks, and when I opened my eyes, I saw Charlotte slowly lifting her head, a hand gently stroking the hair off my forehead.

And in a very soft voice, she said, “Hi.”

I could not speak, but I think I smiled.  It was the girl with the imperfection in her right eye.  Everything fell into place, and I knew, in that instant that we were irrevocably meant to be together.

“Welcome back.”

© Charles Heath 2016-2019

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“What Sets Us Apart”, a mystery with a twist

David is a man troubled by a past he is trying to forget.

Susan is rebelling against a life of privilege and an exasperated mother who holds a secret that will determine her daughter’s destiny.

They are two people brought together by chance. Or was it?

When Susan discovers her mother’s secret, she goes in search of the truth that has been hidden from her since the day she was born.

When David realizes her absence is more than the usual cooling off after another heated argument, he finds himself being slowly drawn back into his former world of deceit and lies.

Then, back with his former employers, David quickly discovers nothing is what it seems as he embarks on a dangerous mission to find Susan before he loses her forever.

Find the kindle version on Amazon here:  http://amzn.to/2Eryfth

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