Category: Fiction

The cinema of my dreams – I never wanted to go to Africa – Episode 25

Our hero knows he’s in serious trouble.

The problem is, there are familiar faces, and the question of who is a friend and who is a foe is made all the more difficult because of the enemy, if it was the enemy, simply because it didn’t look or sound or act like the enemy.

Now, it appears, his problems stem from another operation he participated in.

…

When I woke up, it was in a whole new world, but not necessarily of pain.

It was a different room, not quite dark, not hot or cold, and looked much like a hospital room layout with a hospital bed and bright lights outside the doors.

I had no idea if it was daylight or night.  Classic disorientation procedure before a different sort of interrogation.

What I also realised, though I was not sure why, was that the casts and bandages I had back at the previous base hospital were gone, and everything looked, well, different.

That there was nothing wrong with me.

It’s a terrible thing to realise your own people had basically told you a web of lies about your condition, and how the mind adjusted to those lies.  And yet, I would have sworn on a stack of Bibles my pain was real.

Drugs.  Not only could they do good, but they could also do some very bad things, to the mind and the body.  At a guess, I would say it was for Breeman’s benefit.  If I’d come back in one piece, there would be a truckload of questions.

So, I’d been moved and kept under the whole time.  And if there was nothing wrong with me, why was I still in what looked like a hospital?  Maybe it wasn’t.  There was only one bed in the room.  Perhaps it was a cell for recovering transportees.

My worst fears then, a black site.

My waking must have triggered an alarm because I heard the door open and someone come into the room.  The exact position of the door was hidden by a curtain, but I could see the light from outside intensify when it opened and slowly drop ass it closed.

The curtain moved on its rings to show a man in a white coat, perhaps a doctor, but more likely the interrogator or his assistant coming to check the viability of their target.

I had to ask, “Where am I?”

“In a camp, at a location, I’m not at liberty to disclose.”

“When did I get here?”

“Yesterday, late last night.  It was busy.  We had three new arrivals.  You must be on the right side because you didn’t arrive in chains; the other two did.”

He took my temperature, blood pressure and some other tests, and wrote the numbers on a page in a file.

“You haven’t reacted to the serum we gave you.  That’s good.”  He saw my look of concern.  “Oh, it’s only used for transporting injured people from one base to another.  It helps to minimise the external forces causing them unnecessary pain.”

“Apparently, I’m not injured.”

“No.  Not quite sure what happened there, but whatever happened is above my pay grade.  By the way, don’t try to leave this room.  There’s a guard outside who had been told to shoot first and ask questions later.  I’ve seen the results of her work.”

It had to be Monroe.

That means Lallo would be around soon enough.

….

© Charles Heath 2019

An excerpt from “If Only” – a work in progress

Investigation of crimes doesn’t always go according to plan, nor does the perpetrator get either found or punished.

That was particularly true in my case.  The murderer was incredibly careful in not leaving any evidence behind, to the extent that the police could not rule out whether it was a male or a female.

At one stage, the police thought I had murdered my own wife, though how I could be on a train at the time of the murder was beyond me.  I had witnesses and a cast-iron alibi.

The officer in charge was Detective First Grade Gabrielle Walters.  She came to me on the day after the murder seeking answers to the usual questions like, when was the last time you saw your wife, did you argue, the neighbours reckon there were heated discussions the day before.

Routine was the word she used.

Her fellow detective was a surly piece of work whose intention was to get answers or, more likely, a confession by any or all means possible.  I could sense the raging violence within him.  Fortunately, common sense prevailed.

Over the course of the next few weeks, once I’d been cleared of committing the crime, Gabrielle made a point of keeping me informed of the progress.

After three months, the updates were more sporadic, and when, for lack of progress, it became a cold case, communication ceased.

But it was not the last time I saw Gabrielle.

The shock of finding Vanessa was more devastating than the fact that she was now gone, and those images lived on in the same nightmare that came to visit me every night when I closed my eyes.

For months, I was barely functioning, to the extent that I had all but lost my job and quite a few friends, particularly those who were more attached to Vanessa rather than me.

They didn’t understand how it could affect me so much, and since it had not happened to them, my tart replies of ‘you wouldn’t understand’ were met with equally short retorts.  Some questioned my sanity, even, for a time, so did I.

No one, it seemed, could understand what it was like, no one except Gabrielle.

She was by her own admission, damaged goods, having been the victim of a similar incident, a boyfriend who turned out to be an awfully bad boy.  Her story varied only in that she had been made to witness his execution.  Her nightmare, in reliving that moment in time, was how she was still alive and, to this day, had no idea why she’d been spared.

It was a story she told me one night, some months after the investigation had been scaled down.  I was still looking for the bottom of a bottle and an emotional mess.  Perhaps it struck a resonance with her; she’d been there and managed to come out the other side.

What happened became our secret, a once-only night together that meant a great deal to me, and by mutual agreement, it was not spoken of again.  It was as if she knew exactly what was required to set me on the path to recovery.

And it had.

Since then, we saw each other about once a month in a cafe.   I had been surprised to hear from her again shortly after that eventful night when she called to set it up, ostensibly for her to provide me with any updates on the case, but perhaps we had, after that unspoken night, formed a closer bond than either of us wanted to admit.

We generally talked for hours over wine, then dinner and coffee.  It took a while for me to realise that all she had was her work; personal relationships were nigh on impossible in a job that left little or no spare time for anything else.

She’d always said that if I had any questions or problems about the case, or if there was anything that might come to me that might be relevant, even after all this time, all I had to do was call her.

I wondered if this text message was in that category.  I was certain it would interest the police, and I had no doubt they could trace the message’s origin, but there was that tiny degree of doubt about whether or not I could trust her to tell me what the message meant.

I reached for the phone, then put it back down again.  I’d think about it and decide tomorrow.

© Charles Heath 2018-2020

The Cinema of My Dreams – It ended in Sorrento – Episode 47

Under very close surveillance

…

The girl was still waiting.  To me, it was risky to do so, but it depended on her peers, and if she had been told not to lose me, then I could understand.  Myself though, I would have kept an eye from the foyer or outside the building depending on where the exits were.

I sat next to her, which I could see was a little unsettling.

“Not finished yet?” She asked, trying to move a little bit further away from me.

“Yes, I am.  But I was wondering, Francesca, why have you taken an interest in me?”  I gave her a curious look and tried not to look threatening.

She seemed disconcerted that I knew her name, and was going to respond but instead said, “I think you have mistaken me for someone else.”

She stood.

“Perhaps I have, but if the names of Antonia and Giuseppe mean anything to you, I suggest we go have a cup of coffee, my treat, and talk about it.”

I saw the fear in her eyes, and I knew she knew I had leverage.  It was, for a field agent, which I didn’t think she was, the worst-case scenario.  The fact she wasn’t was underlined by the amount of information found.  Field agents, like myself, were ghosts.

She nodded.

Once we were seated, and coffee delivered, I said, “Whatever you might be thinking right now, I am not interested in causing anyone harm.  If what I suspect is the case, then you have nothing to worry about unless your employer expects you not to tell me or anyone anything, but we’re past that.  You are not a proper field agent, are you?”

“No.”

“Why then?”

“They were short two people and I had done the training, and they asked if I could fill in.”

“To do?”

“Surveillance.”

“You do realize surveillance is carried out from afar.”

“In London or New York maybe but here it is a little more difficult.”

“Did they ask you to get close?”

“Only if an opportunity presented itself.  I was to find out what you were doing, with whom, and why.”

“Are your employers looking for the countess?”

She looked at me sideways, summing up what she could and couldn’t get away with.  “Yes.  She has gone missing.  The team in London lost her at the hotel.  You were there, and with her at the opera, that’s how you became a person of interest.”

That told me she was not working with the kidnappers.  And quite possibly her employers were working for the Burkhardt’s.

“You usually work in the stolen art department, well, not so much stolen art as identifying fakes.  I noticed one case where the owners of several very expensive pieces had them copied, sold the originals to private collectors, and then tried to claim insurance when the copies were ‘stolen’.  Why would you want to go out into the murky world?”

“There aren’t any cases at the moment and a change was good.”

“You do realise that if I was not retired and only doing a favour for a friend, you’d be dead, or at the very least in hospital.  The world I lived in was very, very dangerous.  And information on you and your family is too easily accessible.  I suggest you address that when you go back to the office.  As it stands that might not be for a while.  You will tell your bosses I have taken a shine to you, and you will be coming with me to Sorrento.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Do you know what collateral damage is?”

She nodded.

“That can still happen.  I don’t need you running around in the shadows where I’ll trip over you.  I believe the countess had been kidnapped, and the fact we haven’t got a ransom means that we are dealing with some very nasty people.  At least that way you can keep your people updated.  It’ll be easy for you to say you overheard me reporting in.  It’s that or a dark hole somewhere for several days.  Your choice.”

I didn’t want to take her with me, but she was going to stay on my tail.  Better to know where she is rather than have her blunder her way into a possible tense situation.

Actually, she had no choice.

© Charles Heath 2023

What I learned about writing – Lousy stories sell

It was not quite the headline I was aiming for.

But…

It’s sometimes true to say that books that are not well written or on subjects that we like to think should not be published sometimes become best-sellers.

It’s like the old advertising adage, “sex sells.”

Lady Chatterley’s Lover, banned, but generated a huge following.

Fifty shades of grey, terribly written, but a huge seller along with the sequels.

The point is, no one really knows what the definition of a bestseller is because at any time, any book can suddenly go gangbusters in sales.

I’ve not had the pleasure.

I write books on the same subjects as my favourite authors, who are best-sellers and very famous names.  Thrillers, detective cases, even Mills & Boon romances.

What do these books have in common?  They take ordinary people out of their ordinary lives and put them into a world that can only exist in their imagination.

That’s the world I need to tap into if I am ever going to be a success in the field of spies and thrillers.  I even wrote a romance once, but I’m still waiting to hear back from the publisher.  No, it was not a Mills and Boon, so that might be the reason why I’m still waiting. 

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 133

Day 133 – Why certain books are famous

…

Beyond the Syllabus: Are the Classics Still Worth the Hype?

If you were to walk into any high school English classroom in America, the odds are high that you’d find a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird or The Great Gatsby sitting on a desk. They are the twin pillars of the high school literary canon—books so cemented in our cultural consciousness that we often forget they were once just new novels written by fallible people.

But this ubiquity brings a modern question: Are these books actually deserving of their “Great American Novel” status, or have they simply become victims of relentless repetition?

The Case for the Classics

To understand why these books have stayed at the top of the pile for nearly a century, we have to look past the “assigned reading” label.

To Kill a Mockingbird: The Emotional Anchor

Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird is rarely praised for its narrative complexity; it is praised for its moral clarity. In Atticus Finch, Lee created the definitive archetype of the righteous outsider.

The book is “deservedly famous” because it serves as a masterclass in perspective. By filtering the ugly realities of systemic racism and injustice through the eyes of a child, Lee forces readers to confront the loss of innocence. It remains relevant not because it solved the problems of the American South, but because it captures the agonising gap between how we view ourselves and who we actually are. It is human-centric, empathetic, and—crucially—very easy to read, which has kept it in circulation for decades.

The Great Gatsby: The Mirror of Aspiration

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is a different beast entirely. Where Mockingbird is built on morality, Gatsby is built on atmosphere. It is, quite simply, one of the most beautifully written novels in the English language.

The prose shimmers with a kind of desperate glamour that perfectly encapsulates the “American Dream.” It is famous because it is a tragedy of scale—a critique of wealth, obsession, and the delusion that we can repeat the past. Every time economic inequality spikes or a new generation obsesses over the “hustle,” Gatsby feels freshly minted. It is the definitive autopsy of the American spirit.

The Argument for “Just That”

However, there is a valid counter-argument: Familiarity breeds fatigue.

When we label a book as “The Best,” we often create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because these books are famous, they get taught. Because they get taught, they remain famous. This cycle can make them feel dusty, rigid, or exclusionary.

Critics often argue that these books dominate the conversation at the expense of more diverse, newer, or more challenging voices. Is The Great Gatsby the “best” book about the American experience, or is it just the one that happened to be selected by mid-century literary critics who looked, lived, and thought exactly like Fitzgerald?

If you are forced to dissect every sentence of Mockingbird for a grade, you are inevitably going to grow resentful of the prose. It’s hard to fall in love with a book when you’re being tested on its symbolism.

The Verdict: Are They Overrated?

The truth likely lies in the middle. These books are deservedly famous for their technical mastery and their ability to capture specific, enduring aspects of the human condition. They were influential for a reason, and their impact on the literary landscape is undeniable.

But they are also “just that”—they are just books. They aren’t sacred texts.

The best way to honour these classics is to stop treating them like homework. If you haven’t read Gatsby since you were sixteen, pick it up again as an adult; you might find that the tragedy feels much heavier when you realise you’re closer in age to the characters. If Mockingbird feels like a relic, read it alongside contemporary voices—like Jesmyn Ward or Colson Whitehead—who are expanding on the conversations Harper Lee started.

Ultimately, these books deserve their fame, but they shouldn’t be the end of your reading journey. They should be the starting point. The “Great American Novel” isn’t a static title; it’s a living, breathing conversation—and it’s a conversation that is still being written today.

…

©  Charles Heath  2026

An excerpt from “One Last Look”: Charlotte is no ordinary girl

This is currently available at Amazon here:  http://amzn.to/2CqUBcz

…

I’d read about out-of-body experiences, and like everyone else, thought it was nonsense.  Some people claimed to see themselves in the operating theatre, medical staff frantically trying to revive them, and being surrounded by white light.

I was definitely looking down, but it wasn’t me I was looking at.

It was two children, a boy and a girl, with their parents, in a park.

The boy was Alan.  He was about six or seven.  The girl was Louise, and she was five years old.  She had long red hair and looked the image of her mother.

I remember it now, it was Louise’s birthday and we went down to Bournemouth to visit our Grandmother, and it was the last time we were all together as a family.

We were flying homemade kites our father had made for us, and after we lay there looking up at the sky, making animals out of the clouds.  I saw an elephant, Louise saw a giraffe.

We were so happy then.

Before the tragedy.

When I looked again ten years had passed and we were living in hell.  Louise and I had become very adept at survival in a world we really didn’t understand, surrounded by people who wanted to crush our souls.

It was not a life a normal child had, our foster parents never quite the sort of people who were adequately equipped for two broken-hearted children.  They tried their best, but their best was not good enough.

Every day it was a battle, to avoid the Bannister’s and Archie in particular, every day he made advances towards Louise and every day she fended him off.

Until one day she couldn’t.

Now I was sitting in the hospital, holding Louise’s hand.  She was in a coma, and the doctors didn’t think she would wake from it.  The damage done to her was too severe.

The doctors were wrong.

She woke, briefly, to name her five assailants.  It was enough to have them arrested.  It was not enough to have them convicted.

Justice would have to be served by other means.

I was outside the Bannister’s home.

I’d made my way there without really thinking, after watching Louise die.  It was like being on autopilot, and I had no control over what I was doing.  I had murder in mind.  It was why I was holding an iron bar.

Skulking in the shadows.  It was not very different from the way the Bannister’s operated.

I waited till Archie came out.  I knew he eventually would.  The police had taken him to the station for questioning, and then let him go.  I didn’t understand why, nor did I care.

I followed him up the towpath, waiting till he stopped to light a cigarette, then came out of the shadows.

“Wotcha got there Alan?” he asked when he saw me.  He knew what it was, and what it was for.

It was the first time I’d seen the fear in his eyes.  He was alone.

“Justice.”

“For that slut of a sister of yours.  I had nuffing to do with it.”

“She said otherwise, Archie.”

“She never said nuffing, you just made it up.”  An attempt at bluster, but there was no confidence in his voice.

I held up the pipe.  It had blood on it.  Willy’s blood.  “She may or may not have Archie, but Willy didn’t make it up.  He sang like a bird.  That’s his blood, probably brains on the pipe too, Archie, and yours will be there soon enough.”

“He dunnit, not me.  Lyin’ bastard would say anything to save his own skin.”  Definitely scared now, he was looking to run away.

“No, Archie.  He didn’t.  I’m coming for you.  All of you Bannisters.  And everyone who touched my sister.”

It was the recurring nightmare I had for years afterwards.

I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the thoughts, the images of Louise, the phone call, the visit to the hospital and being there when she succumbed to her injuries.  Those were the very worst few hours of my life.

She had asked me to come to the railway station and walk home with her, and I was running late.  If I had left when I was supposed to, it would never have happened and for years afterwards, I blamed myself for her death.

If only I’d not been late…

When the police finally caught the rapists, I’d known all along who they’d be; antagonists from school, the ring leader, Archie Bannister, a spurned boyfriend, a boy whose parents, ubiquitously known to all as ‘the Bannister’s, dealt in violence and crime and who owned the neighbourhood.  The sins of the father had been very definitely passed onto the son.

At school, I used to be the whipping boy, Archie, a few grades ahead of me, made a point of belting me and a few of the other boys, to make sure the rest did as they were told.  He liked Louise, but she had no time for a bully like him, even when he promised he would ‘protect’ me.

I knew the gang members, the boys who tow-kowed to save getting beaten up, and after the police couldn’t get enough information to prosecute them because everyone was too afraid to speak out, I went after Willy.  There was always a weak link in a group, and he was it.

He worked in a factory, did long hours on a Wednesday and came home after dark alone.  It was a half mile walk, through a park.  The night I approached him, I smashed the lights and left it in darkness.  He nearly changed his mind and went the long way home.

He didn’t.

It took an hour and a half to get the names.  At first, when he saw me, he laughed.  He said I would be next, and that was four words more than he knew he should have said.

When I found him alone the next morning I showed him the iron bar and told him he was on the list.  I didn’t kill him then, he could wait his turn, and worry about what was going to happen to him.

When the police came to visit me shortly after that encounter, no doubt at the behest of the Bannister’s, the neighbourhood closed ranks and gave me an ironclad alibi.  The Bannister’s then came to visit me and threatened me.  I told them their days were numbered and showed them the door.

At the trial, he and his friends got off on a technicality.  The police had failed to do their job properly, but it was not the police, but a single policeman, corrupted by the Bannisters.

Archie could help but rub it in my face.  He was invincible.

Joe Collins took 12 bullets and six hours to bleed out.  He apologized, he pleaded, he cried, he begged.  I didn’t care.

Barry Mills, a strong lad with a mind to hurting people, Archie’s enforcer, almost got the better of me.  I had to hit him more times than I wanted to, and in the end, I had to be satisfied that he died a short but agonizing death.

I revisited Willy in the hospital.  He’d recovered enough to recognize me, and why I’d come.  Suffocation was too good for him.

David Williams, second in command of the gang, was as tough and nasty as the Bannisters.  His family were forging a partnership with the Bannister’s to make them even more powerful.  Outwardly David was a pleasant sort of chap, affable, polite, and well mannered.  A lot of people didn’t believe he could be like, or working with, the Bannisters.

He and I met in the pub.  We got along like old friends.  He said Willy had just named anyone he could think of, and that he was innocent of any charges.  We shook hands and parted as friends.

Three hours later he was sitting in a chair in the middle of a disused factory, blindfolded and scared.  I sat and watched him, listened to him, first threatening me, and then finally pleading with me.  He’d guessed who it was that had kidnapped him.

When it was dark, I took the blindfold off and shone a very bright light in his eyes.  I asked him if the violence he had visited upon my sister was worth it.  He told me he was just a spectator.

I’d read the coroner’s report.  They all had a turn.  He was a liar.

He took nineteen bullets to die.

Then came Archie.

The same factory only this time there were four seats.  Anna Bannister, brothel owner, Spike Bannister, head of the family, Emily Bannister, sister, and who had nothing to do with their criminal activities.  She just had the misfortune of sharing their name.

Archie’s father told me how he was going to destroy me, and everyone I knew.

A well-placed bullet between the eyes shut him up.

Archie’s mother cursed me.  I let her suffer for an hour before I put her out of her misery.

Archie remained stony-faced until I came to Emily.  The death of his parents meant he would become head of the family.  I guess their deaths meant as little to him as they did me.

He was a little more worried about his sister.

I told him it was confession time.

He told her it was little more than a forced confession and he had done nothing to deserve my retribution.

I shrugged and shot her, and we both watched her fall to the ground screaming in agony.  I told him if he wanted her to live, he had to genuinely confess to his crimes.  This time he did, it all poured out of him.

I went over to Emily.  He watched in horror as I untied her bindings and pulled her up off the floor, suffering only from a small wound in her arm.  Without saying a word she took the gun and walked over to stand behind him.

“Louise was my friend, Archie.  My friend.”

Then she shot him.  Six times.

To me, after saying what looked like a prayer, she said, “Killing them all will not bring her back, Alan, and I doubt she would approve of any of this.  May God have mercy on your soul.”

Now I was in jail.  I’d spent three hours detailing the deaths of the five boys, everything I’d done; a full confession.  Without my sister, my life was nothing.  I didn’t want to go back to the foster parents; I doubt they’d take back a murderer.

They were not allowed to.

For a month I lived in a small cell, in solitary, no visitors.  I believed I was in the queue to be executed, and I had mentally prepared myself for the end.

Then I was told I had a visitor, and I was expecting a priest.

Instead, it was a man called McTavish. Short, wiry, and with an accent that I could barely understand.

“You’ve been a bad boy, Alan.”

When I saw it was not the priest I told the jailers not to let him in, I didn’t want to speak to anyone.  They ignored me.  I’d expected he was a psychiatrist, come to see whether I should be shipped off to the asylum.

I was beginning to think I was going mad.

I ignored him.

“I am the difference between you living or dying Alan, it’s as simple as that.  You’d be a wise man to listen to what I have to offer.”

Death sounded good.  I told him to go away.

He didn’t.  Persistent bugger.

I was handcuffed to the table.  The prison officers thought I was dangerous.  Five, plus two, murders, I guess they had a right to think that.  McTavish sat opposite me, ignoring my request to leave.

“Why’d you do it?”

“You know why.”  Maybe if I spoke he’d go away.

“Your sister.  By all accounts, the scum that did for her deserved what they got.”

“It was murder just the same.  No difference between scum and proper people.”

“You like killing?”

“No-one does.”

“No, I dare say you’re right.  But you’re different, Alan.  As clean and merciless killing I’ve ever seen.  We can use a man like you.”

“We?”

“A group of individuals who clean up the scum.”

I looked up to see his expression, one of benevolence, totally out of character for a man like him.  It looked like I didn’t have a choice.

Trained, cleared, and ready to go.

I hadn’t realized there were so many people who were, for all intents and purposes, invisible.  People that came and went, in malls, in hotels, trains, buses, airports, everywhere, people no one gave a second glance.

People like me.

In a mall, I became a shopper.

In a hotel, I was just another guest heading to his room.

On a bus or a train, I was just another commuter.

At the airport, I became a pilot.  I didn’t need to know how to fly; everyone just accepted a pilot in a pilot suit was just what he looked like.

I had a passkey.

I had the correct documents to get me onto the plane.

That walk down the air bridge was the longest of my life.  Waiting for the call from the gate, waiting for one of the air bridge staff to challenge me, stepping onto the plane.

Two pilots and a steward.  A team.  On the plane early before the rest of the crew.  A group that was committing a crime, had committed a number of crimes and thought they’d got away with it.

Until the judge, the jury and their executioner arrived.

Me.

Quick, clean, merciless.  Done.

I was now an operational field agent.

I was older now, and I could see in the mirror I was starting to go grey at the sides.  It was far too early in my life for this, but I expect it had something to do with my employment.

I didn’t recognize the man who looked back at me.

It was certainly not Alan McKenzie, nor was there any part of that fifteen-year-old who had made the decision to exact revenge.

Given a choice; I would not have gone down this path.

Or so I kept telling myself each time a little more of my soul was sold to the devil.

I was Barry Gamble.

I was Lenny Buckman.

I was Jimmy Hosen.

I was anyone but the person I wanted to be.

That’s what I told Louise, standing in front of her grave, and trying to apologize for all the harm, all the people I’d killed for that one rash decision.  If she was still alive she would be horrified, and ashamed.

Head bowed, tears streamed down my face.

God had gone on holiday and wasn’t there to hand out any forgiveness.  Not that day.  Not any day.

New York, New Years Eve.

I was at the end of a long tour, dragged out of a holiday and back into the fray, chasing down another scumbag.  They were scumbags, and I’d become an automaton hunting them down and dispatching them to what McTavish called a better place.

This time I failed.

A few drinks to blot out the failure, a blonde woman who pushed my buttons, a room in a hotel, any hotel, it was like being on the merry-go-round, round and round and round…

Her name was Silvia or Sandra, or someone I’d met before, but couldn’t quite place her.  It could be an enemy agent for all I knew or all I cared right then.

I was done.

I’d had enough.

I gave her the gun.

I begged her to kill me.

She didn’t.

Instead, I simply cried, letting the pent up emotion loose after being suppressed for so long, and she stayed with me, holding me close, and saying I was safe, that she knew exactly how I felt.

How could she?  No one could know what I’d been through.

I remembered her name after she had gone.

Amanda.

I remembered she had an imperfection in her right eye.

Someone else had the same imperfection.

I couldn’t remember who that was.

Not then.

I had a dingy flat in Kensington, a place that I rarely stayed in if I could help it.  After five-star hotel rooms, it made me feel shabby.

The end of another mission, I was on my way home, the underground, a bus, and then a walk.

It was late.

People were spilling out of the pub after the last drinks.  Most in good spirits, others slightly more boisterous.

A loud-mouthed chap bumped into me, the sort who had one too many, and was ready to take on all comers.

He turned on me, “Watch where you’re going, you fool.”

Two of his friends dragged him away.  He shrugged them off, squared up.

I punched him hard, in the stomach, and he fell backwards onto the ground.  I looked at his two friends.  “Take him home before someone makes mincemeat out of him.”

They grabbed his arms, lifted him off the ground and took him away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a woman, early thirties, quite attractive, but very, very drunk.  She staggered from the bar, bumped into me, and finished up sitting on the side of the road.

I looked around to see where her friends were.  The exodus from the pub was over and the few nearby were leaving to go home.

She was alone, drunk, and by the look of her, unable to move.

I sat beside her.  “Where are your friends?”

“Dunno.”

“You need help?”

She looked up, and sideways at me.  She didn’t look the sort who would get in this state.  Or maybe she was, I was a terrible judge of women.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Nobody.”  I was exactly how I felt.

“Well Mr Nobody, I’m drunk, and I don’t care.  Just leave me here to rot.”

She put her head back between her knees, and it looked to me she was trying to stop the spinning sensation in her head.

Been there before, and it’s not a good feeling.

“Where are your friends?” I asked again.

“Got none.”

“Perhaps I should take you home.”

“I have no home.”

“You don’t look like a homeless person.  If I’m not mistaken, those shoes are worth more than my weekly salary.”  I’d seen them advertised, in the airline magazine, don’t ask me why the ad caught my attention.

She lifted her head and looked at me again.  “You a smart fucking arse are you?”

“I have my moments.”

“Have them somewhere else.”

She rested her head against my shoulder.  We were the only two left in the street, and suddenly in darkness when the proprietor turned off the outside lights.

“Take me home,” she said suddenly.

“Where is your place?”

“Don’t have one.  Take me to your place.”

“You won’t like it.”

“I’m drunk.  What’s not to like until tomorrow.”

I helped her to her feet.  “You have a name?”

“Charlotte.”

The wedding was in a small church.  We had been away for a weekend in the country, somewhere in the Cotswolds, and found this idyllic spot.  Graves going back to the dawn of time, a beautiful garden tended by the vicar and his wife, an astonishing vista over hills and down dales.

On a spring afternoon with the sun, the flowers, and the peacefulness of the country.

I had two people at the wedding, the best man, Bradley, and my boss, Watkins.

Charlotte had her sisters Melissa and Isobel, and Isobel’s husband Giovanni, and their daughter Felicity.

And one more person who was as mysterious as she was attractive, a rather interesting combination as she was well over retirement age.  She arrived late and left early.

Aunt Agatha.

She looked me up and down with what I’d call a withering look.  “There’s more to you than meets the eye,” she said enigmatically.

“Likewise I’m sure,” I said.  It earned me an elbow in the ribs from Charlotte.  It was clear she feared this woman.

“Why did you come,” Charlotte asked.

“You know why.”

Agatha looked at me.  “I like you.  Take care of my granddaughter.  You do not want me for an enemy.”

OK, now she officially scared me.

She thrust a cheque into my hand, smiled, and left.

“Who is she,” I asked after we watched her depart.

“Certainly not my fairy godmother.”

Charlotte never mentioned her again.

Zurich in summer, not exactly my favourite place.

Instead of going to visit her sister Isobel, we stayed at a hotel in Beethovenstrasse and Isobel and Felicity came to us.  Her husband was not with her this time.

Felicity was three or four and looked very much like her mother.  She also looked very much like Charlotte, and I’d remarked on it once before and it received a sharp rebuke.

We’d been twice before, and rather than talk to her sister, Charlotte spent her time with Felicity, and they were, together, like old friends.  For so few visits they had a remarkable rapport.

I had not broached the subject of children with Charlotte, not after one such discussion where she had said she had no desire to be a mother.  It had not been a subject before and wasn’t once since.

Perhaps like all Aunts, she liked the idea of playing with a child for a while and then give it back.

Felicity was curious as to who I was, but never ventured too close.  I believed a child could sense the evil in adults and had seen through my facade of friendliness.  We were never close.

But…

This time, when observing the two together, something quite out of left field popped into my head.  It was not possible, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought she looked like my mother.

And Charlotte had seen me looking in their direction.  “You seem distracted,” she said.

“I was just remembering my mother.  Odd moment, haven’t done so for a very long time.”

“Why now?”  I think she had a look of concern on her face.

“Her birthday, I guess,” I said, the first excuse I could think of.

Another look and I was wrong.  She looked like Isobel or Charlotte, or if I wanted to believe it possible, Melissa too.

I was crying, tears streaming down my face.

I was in pain, searing pain from my lower back stretching down into my legs, and I was barely able to breathe.

It was like coming up for air.

It was like Snow White bringing Prince Charming back to life.  I could feel what I thought was a gentle kiss and tears dropping on my cheeks, and when I opened my eyes, I saw Charlotte slowly lifting her head, a hand gently stroking the hair off my forehead.

And in a very soft voice, she said, “Hi.”

I could not speak, but I think I smiled.  It was the girl with the imperfection in her right eye.  Everything fell into place, and I knew, in that instant that we were irrevocably meant to be together.

“Welcome back.”

© Charles Heath 2016-2019

onelastlookcoverfinal2

“What Sets Us Apart”, a mystery with a twist

David is a man troubled by a past he is trying to forget.

Susan is rebelling against a life of privilege and an exasperated mother who holds a secret that will determine her daughter’s destiny.

They are two people brought together by chance. Or was it?

When Susan discovers her mother’s secret, she goes in search of the truth that has been hidden from her since the day she was born.

When David realizes her absence is more than the usual cooling off after another heated argument, he finds himself being slowly drawn back into his former world of deceit and lies.

Then, back with his former employers, David quickly discovers nothing is what it seems as he embarks on a dangerous mission to find Susan before he loses her forever.

Find the Kindle version on Amazon here:  http://amzn.to/2Eryfth

whatsetscover

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 133

Day 133 – Why certain books are famous

…

Beyond the Syllabus: Are the Classics Still Worth the Hype?

If you were to walk into any high school English classroom in America, the odds are high that you’d find a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird or The Great Gatsby sitting on a desk. They are the twin pillars of the high school literary canon—books so cemented in our cultural consciousness that we often forget they were once just new novels written by fallible people.

But this ubiquity brings a modern question: Are these books actually deserving of their “Great American Novel” status, or have they simply become victims of relentless repetition?

The Case for the Classics

To understand why these books have stayed at the top of the pile for nearly a century, we have to look past the “assigned reading” label.

To Kill a Mockingbird: The Emotional Anchor

Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird is rarely praised for its narrative complexity; it is praised for its moral clarity. In Atticus Finch, Lee created the definitive archetype of the righteous outsider.

The book is “deservedly famous” because it serves as a masterclass in perspective. By filtering the ugly realities of systemic racism and injustice through the eyes of a child, Lee forces readers to confront the loss of innocence. It remains relevant not because it solved the problems of the American South, but because it captures the agonising gap between how we view ourselves and who we actually are. It is human-centric, empathetic, and—crucially—very easy to read, which has kept it in circulation for decades.

The Great Gatsby: The Mirror of Aspiration

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is a different beast entirely. Where Mockingbird is built on morality, Gatsby is built on atmosphere. It is, quite simply, one of the most beautifully written novels in the English language.

The prose shimmers with a kind of desperate glamour that perfectly encapsulates the “American Dream.” It is famous because it is a tragedy of scale—a critique of wealth, obsession, and the delusion that we can repeat the past. Every time economic inequality spikes or a new generation obsesses over the “hustle,” Gatsby feels freshly minted. It is the definitive autopsy of the American spirit.

The Argument for “Just That”

However, there is a valid counter-argument: Familiarity breeds fatigue.

When we label a book as “The Best,” we often create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because these books are famous, they get taught. Because they get taught, they remain famous. This cycle can make them feel dusty, rigid, or exclusionary.

Critics often argue that these books dominate the conversation at the expense of more diverse, newer, or more challenging voices. Is The Great Gatsby the “best” book about the American experience, or is it just the one that happened to be selected by mid-century literary critics who looked, lived, and thought exactly like Fitzgerald?

If you are forced to dissect every sentence of Mockingbird for a grade, you are inevitably going to grow resentful of the prose. It’s hard to fall in love with a book when you’re being tested on its symbolism.

The Verdict: Are They Overrated?

The truth likely lies in the middle. These books are deservedly famous for their technical mastery and their ability to capture specific, enduring aspects of the human condition. They were influential for a reason, and their impact on the literary landscape is undeniable.

But they are also “just that”—they are just books. They aren’t sacred texts.

The best way to honour these classics is to stop treating them like homework. If you haven’t read Gatsby since you were sixteen, pick it up again as an adult; you might find that the tragedy feels much heavier when you realise you’re closer in age to the characters. If Mockingbird feels like a relic, read it alongside contemporary voices—like Jesmyn Ward or Colson Whitehead—who are expanding on the conversations Harper Lee started.

Ultimately, these books deserve their fame, but they shouldn’t be the end of your reading journey. They should be the starting point. The “Great American Novel” isn’t a static title; it’s a living, breathing conversation—and it’s a conversation that is still being written today.

…

©  Charles Heath  2026

The story behind the story: A Case of Working With the Jones Brothers

To write a private detective serial has always been one of the items at the top of my to-do list, though trying to write novels and a serial, as well as a blog, and maintain a social media presence, well, you get the idea.

But I made it happen, from a bunch of episodes I wrote a long, long time ago, used these to start it, and then continued on, then as now, never having much of an idea where it was going to end up, or how long it would take to tell the story.

That, I think, is the joy of ad hoc writing, even you, as the author, have as much of an idea of where it’s going as the reader does.

It’s basically been in the mill since 1990, and although I finished it last year, it looks like the beginning to end will have taken exactly 30 years.  Had you asked me 30 years ago if I’d ever get it finished, the answer would be maybe?

My private detective, Harry Walthenson

I’d like to say he’s from that great literary mould of Sam Spade, or Mickey Spillane, or Philip Marlowe, but he’s not.

But I’ve watched Humphrey Bogart play Sam Spade with much interest, and modelled Harry and his office on it.  Similarly, I’ve watched Robert Micham play Phillip Marlow with great panache, if not detachment, and added a bit of him to the mix.

Other characters come into play, and all of them, no matter what period they’re from, always seem larger than life.  I’m not above stealing a little of Mary Astor, Peter Lorre or Sidney Greenstreet, to breathe life into beguiling women and dangerous men alike.

Then there’s the title, like

The Case of the Unintentional Mummy – this has so many meanings in so many contexts, though I imagine that back in Hollywood in the ’30s and ’40s, this would be excellent fodder for Abbott and Costello

The Case of the Three-Legged Dog – Yes, I suspect there may be a few real-life dogs with three legs, but this plot would involve something more sinister.  And if made out of plaster, yes, they’re always something else inside.

But for mine, to begin with, it was “The Case of the …”, because I had no idea what the case was going to be about, well, I did, but not specifically.

Then I liked the idea of calling it “The Case of the Brothers’ Revenge” because I began to have a notion there was a brother no one knew about, but that’s stuff for other stories, not mine, so then it went the way of the others.

Now it’s called ‘A Case of Working With the Jones Brothers’, finished the first three drafts, and I am at the editor for the last reading.

I have high hopes of publishing it in mid-2026.  It even has a cover.

PIWalthJones1

The cinema of my dreams – I never wanted to go to Africa – Episode 24

Our hero knows he’s in serious trouble.

The problem is, there are familiar faces and a question of who is a friend and who is foe made all the more difficult because of the enemy, if it was the enemy, simply because it didn’t look or sound or act like the enemy.

Now, it appears, his problems stem from another operation he participated in.

…

“So,” Lallo said, “you’re telling me you landed separately, Treen and his group advanced towards their position without waiting for your team, that shortly after landing you heard gunfire exchanged, that the members of your team broke ranks and went to help their comrades and that all of them, as far as you were aware at the time, had been killed or captured.”

“Yes.”

“And the two operatives you’d come to rescue?”

“At the time, I had no idea what their status was, but I did make a preliminary assumption that if our mission was blown, then they would hardly be left alive unless the enemy thought they had some strategic value.”

“Or intelligence?”

“It hadn’t occurred to me at the time because my job was to simply to aid the extraction team.  To be honest, I had no idea who they were or what their value was.”

That was not exactly the truth because I could hardly say I hadn’t overheard a conversation between Treen, the briefing officers, and an unseen, unnamed officer discussing the two operatives, and the fact it was imperative we get them out at any cost.  It wasn’t said why, but I could guess.

It didn’t take long to realize that if our arrival had been known, so would the location and worth of the two we were to rescue.  I didn’t think they were killed out of hand, not until they’d told the enemy’s interrogators everything they knew.

And I got the impression they knew enough to cause our whole operation in that country ended up with a great deal of irreparable damage.

No wonder they wanted to sweep it under the carpet.

I watched Lallo scribble a long not over several pages.  Was his conclusion the same as mine, but based on truth rather than hearsay?

Then, “Were you met by the person who has been referred to as the so-called source?”

“No.”

“Do you know if Treen’s group were met?”

“No.  I was given to understand that source had gone quiet, I suppose another word for either captured or defected to the other side.”

“Apparently there was a report that the agent in situ was going to be at the landing site.”

“Well, there’s your explanation as to why the mission was blown from the start.  Whoever it was, was either captured, or a double agent, and told the enemy of our plans.”

“A reasonable assumption in the circumstances, but not necessarily correct.”

“And you know this because…”

I was curious.  The agent’s defection would explain everything.

“That agent resurfaced three days ago, again asking for repatriation, and is in the air to a secure site as we speak.”

He stood and took a moment to stow the pencil in the binding of the notebook before giving me his attention.

“We will also be in their air tomorrow, headed for the same secure location.  I’m, sure you will be available for that interrogation, because I, too, have serious doubts about this agent’s shall we say, loyalties.”

That still didn’t mean I wasn’t going to finish up at a black site, or worse.

© Charles Heath 2019-2021