365 Days of writing, 2026 – 160

Day 160 – Writing Exercise – The day righted itself, as a waitress put a folded napkin under a wobbly table

…

We were struggling.

It was not as if it had happened overnight; it was the culmination of a series of events, some unfortunate, but all the result of circumstances beyond our control.

And it wasn’t as if we were living high in the hog, as my father called it, encompassing those he believed were spending more than they earned.

We were just ordinary people with ordinary jobs trying to stay afloat in an ordinary world.

Neither of us had the opportunity to get a tertiary education; our parents were just regular folk who struggled barely.  They had fared reasonably well through the financial crisis because they had no investments, shares, or savings.

They had just enough to see us through high school and teach us the two valuable rules that they hoped would see us through.  Do not get credit and do not spend money you don’t have.

And despite the temptation to keep up with others, we didn’t. We could have new furniture, we could go on lavish holidays, we could go out for dinners, but we didn’t.

And in the end, it didn’t really matter.

The factory where I worked could no longer compete with the cheap imports, and it didn’t matter that it had lasted 121 years, making the best furniture in the world; the cheap imports copied the designs and sold them for sixty per cent less.

They’d gone through restructures and staff cuts, even a degree of mechanisation, but it didn’t matter.  My job, and over a thousand others, just disappeared.

There was no other work, not in a city where forty five percent of the workforce were unemployment.

It took six weeks for the flow-on effect to hit everything else, and then Lucy’s job was cut, along with another ten per cent of those who still had jobs.

I heard it from a friend before Lucy got home.

She was devastated.  It was, she said, a good thing our parents were not alive to see what had happened to the city they honestly believed was God’s Green Earth.

Perhaps now it was time for Plan B.

….

When I got laid off, we sat at the table that had seen happier times, and at dinner with a strange sort of satisfaction that I had wanted to believe was the beginning of a new chapter in our lives.

That had been blunted by the discovery that there were no jobs, and if there were, there were over a hundred applicants.

A few weeks later, as the redundancy money was dwindling, Lucy spoke of the nearby silent rumours she and her friends passed around, that retail outlets were beginning to see a considerable drop in sales.

No need to say out loud what that meant.

That’s when I said we may have to bite the bullet and pay a visit to my Uncle Robert.

My father only had one brother, and I had only met him twice in my life, once when my father discovered he had terminal cancer, and the second, at my father’s funeral.

He was bombastic and condescending.

He did not understand why a brilliant and very clever man like my father would settle for mediocre.  He had up and left for the big city to make his fortune the day after he graduated.

It went against my grandparents’ request, and for that, they ostracised him.  We had met him at the funeral, and Lucy took an instant dislike to him.  It was not surprising.

It might have had something to do with calling our city a dump, and had intimated that if I came to my senses, to come and see him, and he would give me a real job.  I had no qualifications, but he had said all I needed was the Bannister name.

I declined then, but now, I might not have that luxury.  Lucy deserved better than what had happened.

And when she lost her job, with no new job to be found, the point where we said we would talk about it again had arrived.

…

I’d been out doing the rounds of the employment agencies, joining the other job seekers who had not given up hope, and found little encouragement.

It was worse for the men who had children, because their responsibilities were far harder than mine.  I came in and saw Lucy sitting at the table, most likely working out the budget.

When I sat down and looked at her, I could see the tears; some had dripped onto the top bill, the rent account.  We were at the point where it had become unaffordable, and the landlord was not accepting excuses.

We were only one of many all over who were in financial difficulty, and there were far too many people who were being forced into temporary accommodation or out onto the street.

We would be next.

I took her hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.  “We have to leave.  We have some money left, enough to get us to Chicago, and I will go see Uncle Robert.  He promised to help us.  I called, and he is expecting us.”

She shook her head.  I knew she didn’t want to leave.  Everyone and everything she knew was here, and for the nothing of us it was going to be very difficult.  Going to the big city, where we didn’t know anyone or how people lived.

“We will be all on our own.”

“We will have jobs and a place to live.”

“How can we trust someone that we don’t know?”

I had, but that had been based on my father’s assessment, based on years of hate and misery from his brother as a child.  Nor, as I understood it, did he get along with his father, because as children we had not seen our grandparents, except at the funeral of my father.

To be honest, I had no idea what to expect, but one thing I did know.  If my uncle failed me, Lucy would never forgive me.

But the alternative was unbearable, that we would become destitute, and I would lose her.  I could not begin to imagine what my life would be like without her.

“How could we have trusted those who have let us down so badly. We have been abandoned by the very people who had said that if we got into trouble, they would help us.  They have not.”

“Because they are like us.”

“I know.  I get it.  But we can’t stay here.  You know as well as I do, we’ve reached the point of no return.”

“But everything we own, we have…”

“Means nothing.  All we really have is each other, Lucy.  Our love, our trust, and our hopes and dreams.  It’ll just be somewhere else.  This city is dying slowly, and people are leaving.  What’s done is done.”

She took a minute to consider the situation, perhaps find a way around the problem, but she had been put with her friends.  If there had been any ideas
Among them, she would have it to tell me.

“When?”

“Before the next rent is due.”

“Friday?”

“Thursday would be better. We are just going to have to leave? And hope we don’t have to make up lies to get away.  We simply don’t have enough without completely depleting our reserve.  And why wait another month for the inevitable?”

I hoped she could see the sense in it.  The only problem was simply walking away from everything.  There was a lot of time and effort put into making a life in that apartment.  It wasn’t the best of places, but it was our home and had been from the day we married.

So many memories.

She looked up and smiled wanly.  “Thursday.”

“Pack only what we can carry.  It won’t be a lot.  I’ll get tickets on the 11 o’clock special, a sleeper.  We can afford one last treat.”

“Your uncle is expecting us?”

“He is.”

…

Lucy chose to tell her friends that we were going away for a few days, visiting relatives in Chicago.  She said she could not bring herself to tell them that it might be forever, though I suspect a small part of her wanted to believe we were coming back.

For me, it was more difficult, and I just chose not to alert anyone to my plan.  I convinced myself it was a plan, but it was a move borne of desperation because of this failure. I didn’t know what I was going to do.

Fear of failing Lucy was my only concern.  She was doing everything I asked because she trusted me.  That trust would only go so far.

It was strange how quickly time flies when you’re about to do something drastic.  I thought it would drag, but no.  We were standing in the dining area, taking in a last look at the place that had been home for the last ten years.

The times we had laughed and cried, the parties and the agonies.  We’d never expected life to be easy, but we never expected it to be this hard.  We always believed no matter what, we’d muddle through, like our parents and their parents before them.

“Somehow I can’t feel anything,” Lucy said.  “It’s just four walls and, well, nothing.”

“I had expected that memories would be flooding back, but it’s like we were never here.”

“Maybe it was just a stage in a journey.”

Maybe it was.  Perhaps it was just both of us trying to think about the future and not let the past drag us down.

We both had a backpack and a suitcase with everything we wanted, enough for a few days.  We didn’t own anything expensive, other than our cell phones.

A last look, we walked out the door, closed it for the last time, and left the building.  The bus stopped outside the door and took us to the railway station.

The train was due in an hour and a half.  After getting the tickets, we would have a snack at the restaurant attached to the depot.

I had hoped Riley, the Station Master, would not be on, but it felt like an omen when I saw his smiling face in the ticket office.

He was unofficially voted the happiest man in town, always bright and cheery, the one smiling face surrounded by a world in turmoil.  He was probably one of the few with a permanent job.

My father had been one of his friends, and he had been a frequent visitor at Sunday lunches at my parents’ places.  Sometimes I would go visit, but our contact had become less frequent over time and especially after my father’s death.

“Richard, long time, no see.  How are you?”  He had conveniently ignored the fact that we had baggage.

“Good.”

“Lucy?” 

Lucy was not looking particularly happy, but he chose to ignore that too.

“I’m fine, Mr West.”

“How can I help you?”

“We’re going to Chicago for a few days.”

“Yes, I believe you are.”

“How…” Lucy said it before she could stop herself.

Like her, I wondered if the one person I trusted with the secret had talked.  Rumours travelled like wildfire, despite

“Funny story that.  A couple of days ago, I got a call from a lady by the name of Delilah McEwan.  She says she is calling on behalf of her boss, Robert Bannister.  Bannister, she says.  I know a Bannister, and lo and behold, it is the invisible brother.  Met him once at the funeral.  Larger than life and loud too.  Seems he understands you’re coming to Chicago, and would like me to book a sleeper, first class and all, for Richard and Lucille Bannister. No problem, I say, and it’s done.”

He went over to a large cabinet and pulled out an envelope, and came back with it, putting it on the counter between us.

“Tickets, a letter from Ms McEwan, inclusive of all meals and drinks if you so desire.  Perhaps the man is not as bad as we may cast him?”

“Perhaps not,” I said, after a few moments to get over the surprise.  I had not expected this.

Then he came closer and spoke in a lower tone.  “I’m guessing, given the nature of affairs here, you might not be coming back.  Not until things get better.  I’m not surprised.  There’s a steady stream of folk leaving, some old and dear friends, and it breaks my heart.  But you must do what you must to survive.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll see you when the train arrives.  Be here about 15 minutes before.  It’s currently running five minutes behind schedule.  You can leave your bags with me, and pick them up later. “

…

It was, I thought, a good thing we were wearing our best clothes.  They only came out on special occasions, and this train trip was exactly that.

Barely out the door, Lucy said, almost in a breathless whisper, “First Class, what is that about.  We’re never going to be able to pay him back.”

“I’m sure we can work something out.  After all, he wouldn’t do it unless he had a plan, so we could.  Perhaps the jobs he had found for us might pay enough so we can.  But for the moment, let’s not worry too much.  I’m taking this as a sign.”

We stopped outside the chicken restaurant.  While it hadn’t been too expensive, it was just Lucy could fry chicken just as nicely.  I had thought, tonight, we could splurge.

“The ticket includes food,” she said, “so let’s just have some coffee and pie instead.”

We had been told about the cafe near the station before, because of its famed apple pie. 

Inside it was warm.  Outside, the first signs of a long, cold, and bitter winter were in the air, and I was sure it would start raining soon.  The weather in Chicago would be freezing, and a little above that, around the time we arrived.

We were used to it and brought out our snow clothes.

She slid the envelope across the table and opened it.  Two tickets, First Class, all inclusive, that I knew would end up in her scrapbook history of our family, a letter, and a guidebook.

She opened the envelope and pulled out a single page.

“From Ms McEwan,” she said.

Not from my Uncle.  It made sense.  He was a busy man and had assigned us to his personal assistant.

Dear Richard and Lucille,”  she wrinkled her nose, a sign that she did not like being called Lucille, even if that was her name. 

Perhaps it had been the way her mother used it when she was annoyed with her daughter.

“We are delighted that you will be coming to Chicago and joining our group.  The Bannisters have long been synonymous with Chicago, and we like to believe we have helped in making our city what it is today.

“You are part of the next generation, and no doubt you will be very happy to join our endeavours to continue that collaboration.

“Mr Bannister is eagerly awaiting your arrival, but first we must get you situated and prepared.  I will be at the station tomorrow when you arrive, and will guide you through the next few days.”

“Once again, we welcome you to the Bannister collective, and cannot wait to see what the furniture holds.”

She shook her head.

“Its sound like we’re about to join a cult.  The Bannister Collective.  It’s like a Steven King novel.”

“Or it’s just an oddish uncle that had trouble expressing himself.”

“It doesn’t strike as strange?”

“It does, but I’m not going to read anything into it until we meet him.  And this Ms McEwan.”

She shrugged.  “Don’t you think we have jobs waiting for us.  It seems so.”

“What would you like to do?”

“Something other than waiting tables.”

“So, if you’re asked…?”

“Organising catering, I could certainly do a lot better than most of the people who had that job in the places I’ve worked.  But I had no experience.”

“You’ve been at the coal face for years.  You see all the stuff-ups and problems from the perfect perspective.  Perhaps this will be your chance.”

“Perhaps.  What about you?  Factory hand, how can you parley that into a better job?  It was not always what I wanted to do, Lucy, it was what I had to do.”

She looked at me with a certain amount of surprise, perhaps remembering that moment when we were finally together after the prom, when we decided there, and then we would get married, and spoke of our hopes and dreams.

I had imagined a very different life for us.

“Just because Mr Jacobs said you had the talent to become a good journalist based on your work for the school paper, he did say you had to hone those skills at college, which you couldn’t afford.  Now, it’s probably too late.”

“I kept writing, you know.  Seeking out stories.  Writing pieces over the years.  I chronicled the downturn of the city as it sank into the mire of economic disaster, government abandonment, and the final death blow.  It doesn’t make pretty reading.”

“But it doesn’t make Pulitzer prize material, Richard.  You, me, were nobodies in a world full of nobodies.”

“Then maybe, just maybe, this is our time to turn that around.”

…

Getting the privileges of first class was not the same as deserving first class.  We didn’t fit in, in our own minds, which made it awkward, until we realised that it didn’t matter who we were to the staff; they treated us like we belonged.

And in turn, we treated them the sort of respect they deserved.  After all, people responded to kindness.

What was prevalent in those two hours we spent in the dining room, asking questions when we were not sure, accepting recommendations, and savouring the sort of food we could never have afforded, was the stark difference between the haves and have-nots.

The staff may have known each passenger’s status, but it never once showed.  In their voices or manner.  It did, however, change for a certain couple who made a lot of noise and complained about everything.

How did people who had those advantages so many others didn’t become so ungrateful?

By the time we were ready for bed, Lucy had begun to relax, just a little, in case that thin veneer of goodness that surrounded us shattered.  Even that cramped space felt more luxurious than anything we had, so we savoured the pleasure rather than eschewing it.

The next morning, we both woke refreshed and perhaps a little more confident that life could be better.  Breakfast was another of those small pleasures, and we took our time. 

The coffee was far better than anything we had before, and not knowing its origin or cost or anything for that matter, we simply took it as of it was as if it was something we had all the time.

The complaining couple were nowhere to be seen.  Perhaps they were not morning people.

The rest of the morning passed, watching the wintry landscape, our fellow passengers, and the staff going through their routine.  We both knew the experience would end soon, so it was time to reacclimatise to our reality.

Off the train, it was going to be a whole new world.

…

We thanked the train staff for their kindness and assistance, gathered our baggage and joined the queue to disembark.  The loudmouth couple were several down from the front of the queue, complaining loudly that they had to get to an important business meeting.

No one was giving up the spot to let them pass.

We waited patiently, like everyone else, and, thanking the carriage attendant again, stepped down onto the platform.

We had arrived in Chicago.  There was no Delilah McEwan on the platform, but I suspected she would be outside in the main station waiting for us to exit through the platform gate.

I saw Lucy looking around, too.  She was as amazed as I was at the size and how busy it was.  This was going to be a lot different to out home town.  She took my hand, and I squeezed it gently.  This was bigger, noisier and more paced than she had ever seen before.

We filed through the gate and into the passage that led to the station foyer.  Coming out into the huge, carious space, larger than anything we had ever seen before, I saw a lady and a tall man in a chauffeur’s uniform, and headed towards her.

She was standing under the ‘To trains’ sign.

“You must be Richard?” She said smiling.  She shook my hand, she gave Lucy a hug.  Lucy hadn’t expected it, but in a way it made her feel more welcome.

“John will take your cases to the car.  Welcome to Chicago.  I’m sure right now, you are almost overwhelmed by just the size of this building.  You will get used to it.”

“This is just the station?” Lucy said.

“If you go to New York, they don’t call Grand Central Station grand for nothing.  But it’s big, I’ll grant you that.”

We followed the chauffeur.

“We have set up an apartment for you, where you will be staying until you decide where you want to live.  There’s no hurry; you will want to get settled and explore the city.  Mr Bannister will see you both for dinner tomorrow night, and then the next day you will have interviews so we can give you a job best suited.”

“We will be working for Mr Bannister?”  Lucy asked.

“We wanted to make sure you had a job while you get settled, and when you feel ready, you can stay, or you can explore the possibilities.  There’s no compulsion, we’re just making your first few days, and weeks, less daunting.”

“We can pay for the apartment,” I said.  Perhaps pride got the better of me because we didn’t have that much money.  All the same…

“That’s alright, Richard.  Mr Bannister is treating this as if he asked you to come work for him, so coming from another state, you get free accommodation for one month, or longer, at a reduced rate if necessary.  You can also apply for a subsidised loan for a vehicle.  These are all matters that will be explained in more detail tomorrow.  As for now, let’s get you settled.”

…

I was still waiting for the bubble to burst.

I would be hesitant to say we were ‘settled’ because the moment Delilah walked out the door, both of us just looked at each other and thought exactly the same thought.

It was too good to be true.

The apartment was larger, new, and brighter than anything we had or expected.  It was like staying in a five-star hotel, or so Lucy said when she had applied for a housekeeper’s role at a hotel in the county’s main city.

To me, it was something out of a magazine I’d seen at the barber shop.

There was an envelope on the counter welcoming us.  It had a debit card with a limit that Delilah didn’t mention, so we could get what we needed.  Lucy would need clothes for the next two days.  So would I.

Then Lucy asked the question:  “How is this possible?”

It was one I asked myself as Delilah rattled off the benefits.  All I could say was, it’s the name, Bannister.  We were part of the family, and like my father taught me, family looks after family.

It seemed odd that it took this long for Uncle Robert to realise he had extended family, but that I suspect had something to do with my father, and his disdain for his family. 

He was an honest, hard-working, ordinary man.  The Bannisters, now that I thought about it, his family, were rich, and he wanted to make his own way in the world, not accept a leg up or any favours.

Not like his brother.   Just on the edges of my memory was a telephone conversation I was never meant to hear, when my uncle had offered his brother money, but as a loan.  He had told his brother where he could put his money.

His brother never called again.  He came for the funeral but left soon after.  He offered his condolences; that was all.

“Crisis of conscience.  He couldn’t help my father because he wouldn’t let him.  I’m not so proud, but there is a limit.  We will have to pay him back, no matter how long it takes.”

“My thought exactly.  Perhaps we could tell your Uncle tomorrow.  Dinner sounds exciting and scary at the same time.  This time we’ll be in front of a lot more people.”

“It’s just dinner in a fancier setting.  We’ll manage.”

“Fancy coffee.  I’d make it, but I saw the cafe down in the foyer, and those cakes looked amazing.”

“Coffer it is.”

A few minutes later, we were whisked down to the ground floor, where the building’s residents were beginning to trickle in.

The cafe has a short line waiting to be seated.  I’d never had to wait before.  There was a lot of stress in that line, and I wondered if big city life was a lot more stressful than back home.

Then it was our turn, and the waitress, in a perfect uniform, with the nametag Wendy, directed us to a table.  When she put the menus on it, it rocked.

It was one of those tables that didn’t sit perfectly on the floor, and I could see a flicker of concern in Lucy’s eyes.  She had been half expecting an omen like this.

But, in the next second, a busboy came over with a piece of cardboard and fixed the rocking table.  I heard Lucy sigh in relief.

That omen could have undone everything.  Now, to her, it was like we were meant to be here.

We sat, ordered coffee and two French pastries, and Lucy used her schoolgirl French to describe the cake exactly, and the waitress showed she was fluent in the language. A short conversation on French ensued.

When the waitress left, she said, now smiling, and happiest I had seen her in months, “I am so sorry glad we came, I can’t wait for the interviews.”

“Or the endless conversations you can have with your new friend.”

“It’s practically the first time.  Maybe one day we can go to France.”

“I certainly hope so.”

Sitting there, looking at her glow return, I didn’t think it mattered much how things went.  If we believed hard enough, everything would work out.

…

©  Charles Heath  2026

An excerpt from “Sunday in New York”

Now available on Amazon at:  https://amzn.to/2H7ALs8

…

Williams’ Restaurant, East 65th Street, New York, Saturday, 8:00 p.m.

We met the Blaines at Williams’, a rather upmarket restaurant that the Blaines frequently visited and had recommended.

Of course, during the taxi ride there, Alison reminded me that with my new job, we would be able to go to many more places like Williams’.  It was, at worst, more emotional blackmail, because as far as Alison was concerned, we were well on our way to posh restaurants, the Trump Tower Apartments, and the trappings of the ‘executive set’.

It would be a miracle if I didn’t strangle Elaine before the night was over.  It was she who had filled Alison’s head with all this stuff and nonsense.

Aside from the half-frown, half-smile, Alison was looking stunning.  It had been months since she had last dressed up, and she was especially wearing the dress I’d bought her for our 5th anniversary that cost a month’s salary.  On her, it was worth it, and I would have paid more if I had to.  She had adored it and me, for a week or so after.

For tonight, I think I was close to getting back on that pedestal.

She had the looks and figure to draw attention, the sort movie stars get on the red carpet, and when we walked into the restaurant, I swear there were at least five seconds of silence, and many more gasps.

I even had a sudden loss of breath earlier in the evening when she came out of the dressing room.  Once more, I was reminded of how lucky I was that she had agreed to marry me.  Amid all those self-doubts, I couldn’t believe she had loved me when there were so many others out there who were more appealing.

Elaine was out of her seat and came over just as the Head Waiter hovered into sight.  She personally escorted Alison to the table, allowing me to follow like the Queen’s consort, while she and Alison basked in the admiring glances of the other patrons.

More than once, I heard the muted question, “Who is she?”

Jimmy stood, we shook hands, and then we sat together.  It was not the usual boy, girl, boy, girl seating arrangement.  Jimmy and I on one side and Elaine and Alison on the other.

The battle lines were drawn.

Jimmy was looking fashionable, with a permanent blade one beard, unkempt hair, and a designer dinner suit that looked like he’d slept in it.  Alison insisted I wear a tuxedo, and I looked like the proverbial penguin or just a thinner version of Alfred Hitchcock.

The bow tie had been slightly crooked, but just before we stepped out, she had straightened it.  And took the moment to look deeply into my soul.  It was one of those moments when words were not necessary.

Then it was gone.

I relived it briefly as I sat and she looked at me.  A penetrating look that told me to ‘behave’.

When we were settled, Elaine said, in that breathless, enthusiastic manner of hers when she was excited, “So, Harry, you are finally moving up.”  It was not a question, but a statement.

I was not sure what she meant by ‘finally’, but I accepted it with good grace.  Sometimes, Elaine was prone to using figures of speech I didn’t understand.  I guessed she was talking about the new job.  “It was supposed to be a secret.”

She smiled widely.  “There are no secrets between Al and me, are there, Al?”

I looked at ‘Al’ and saw a brief look of consternation.

I was not sure Alison liked the idea of being called Al.  I tried it once and was admonished.  But it was interesting that her ‘best friend forever’ was allowed that distinction when I was not.  It was, perhaps, another indicator of how far I’d slipped in her estimation.

Perhaps, I thought, it was a necessary evil.  As I understood it, the Blaines were our mentors at the Trump Tower, because they didn’t just let ‘anyone’ in.  I didn’t ask if the Blaines thought we were just ‘anyone’ before I got the job offer.

And then there was that look between Alison and Elaine, quickly stolen before Alison realised I was looking at both of them.  I was out of my depth, in a place I didn’t belong, with people I didn’t understand.  And yet, apparently, Alison did.  I must have missed the memo.

“No,” Alison said softly, stealing a glance in my direction, “No secrets between friends.”

No secrets.  Her look conveyed something else entirely.

The waiter brought champagne, Krug, and poured glasses for each of us.  It was not the cheap stuff, and I was glad I brought a couple of thousand dollars with me.  We were going to need it.

Then, a toast.

To a new job and a new life.

“When did you decide?”  Elaine was effusive at the best of times, but with the champagne, it was worse.

Alison had a strange expression on her face.  It was obvious she had told Elaine it was a done deal, even before I’d made up my mind.  Perhaps she’d assumed I might be ‘refreshingly honest’ in front of Elaine, but it could also mean she didn’t really care what I might say or do.

Instead of consternation, she looked happy, and I realised it would be churlish, even silly, if I made a scene.  I knew what I wanted to say.  I also knew that it would serve little purpose provoking Elaine or upsetting Alison.  This was not the time or the place.  Alison had been looking forward to coming here, and I was not going to spoil it.

Instead, I said, smiling, “When I woke up this morning and found Alison missing.  If she had been there, I would not have noticed the water stain on the roof above our bed, and decided there and then how much I hated the place.” I used my reassuring smile, the one I used with the customers when all hell was breaking loose, and the forest fire was out of control.  “It’s the little things.  They all add up until one day …”  I shrugged.  “I guess that one day was today.”

I saw an incredulous look pass between Elaine and Alison, a non-verbal question; perhaps, is he for real?  Or, I told you he’d come around.

I had no idea the two were so close.

“How quaint,” Elaine said, which just about summed up her feelings towards me.  I think, at that moment, I lost some brownie points.  It was all I could come up with at short notice.

“Yes,” I added, with a little more emphasis than I wanted.  “Alison was off to get some studying in with one of her friends.”

“Weren’t the two of you off to the Hamptons, a weekend with some friends?” Jimmy piped up and immediately got the ‘shut up, you fool’ look that cut that line of conversation dead.  Someone forgot to feed Jimmy his lines.

It was followed by the condescending smile from Elaine, and “I need to powder my nose.  Care to join me, Al?”

A frown, then a forced smile for her new best friend.  “Yes.”

I watched them leave the table and head in the direction of the restroom, looking like they were in earnest conversation.  I thought ‘Al’ looked annoyed, but I could be wrong.

I had to say Jimmy looked more surprised than I did.

There was that odd moment of silence between us, Jimmy still smarting from his death stare, and for me, the Alison and Elaine show.  I was quite literally gob-smacked.

I drained my champagne glass, gathering some courage and turned to him.  “By the way, we were going to have a weekend away, but this legal tutorial thing came up.  You know Alison is doing her law degree.”

He looked startled when he realised I had spoken.  He was looking intently at a woman several tables over from us, one who’d obviously forgotten some basic garments when getting dressed.  Or perhaps it was deliberate.  She’d definitely had some enhancements done.

He dragged his eyes back to me.  “Yes.  Elaine said something or other about it.  But I thought she said the tutor was out of town and it had been postponed until next week.  Perhaps I got it wrong.  I usually do.”

“Perhaps I’ve got it wrong.”  I shrugged as the dark thoughts started swirling in my head again.  “This week or next, what does it matter?”

Of course, it mattered to me, and I digested what he said with a sinking heart.  It showed there was another problem between Alison and me; she might have been telling me lies.  If what he said was true and I had no reason to doubt him, where was she going tomorrow morning, and had she really been with a friend studying today?

We poured some more champagne, had a drink, then he asked, “This promotion thing, what’s it worth?”

“Trouble, I suspect.  Definitely more money, but less time at home.”

“Oh,” raised eyebrows.  Obviously, the women had not talked about the job in front of him, or, at least, not all the details.  “You sure you want to do that?”

At last, the voice of reason.  “Me?  No.”

“Yet you accepted the job.”

I sucked in a breath or two while I considered whether I could trust him.  Even if I couldn’t, I could see my ship was sinking, so it wouldn’t matter what I told him, or what Elaine might find out from him.  “Jimmy, between you and me, I haven’t as yet decided one way or another.  To be honest, I won’t know until I go up to Barclay’s office and he asks me the question.”

“Barclay?”

“My boss.”

“Elaine’s doing a job for a Barclay who recently moved into the tower a block down from us.  I thought I recognised the name.”

“How did Elaine get the job?”

“Oh, Alison put him onto her.”

“When?”

“A couple of months ago.  Why?”

I shrugged and tried to keep a straight face, while my insides were churning up like the wake of a supertanker.  I felt sick, faint, and wanted to die all at the same moment.  “Perhaps she said something about it, but it didn’t connect at the time.  Too busy with work, I expect.  I think I seriously need to get away for a while.”

I could hardly breathe, my throat was constricted, and I knew I had to keep it together.  I could see Elaine and Alison coming back, so I had to calm down.  I sucked in some deep breaths and put my ‘manage a complete and utter disaster’ look on my face.

And I had to change the subject, quickly, so I said, “Jimmy, Elaine told Alison, who told me, you were something of a guru of the cause and effects of the global economic meltdown.  Now, I have a couple of friends who have been expounding this theory …”

Like flicking a switch, I launched into the well-worn practice of ‘running a distraction’, like at work when we needed to keep the customer from discovering the truth.  It was one of the things I was good at, taking over a conversation and pushing it in a different direction.  It was salvaging a good result from an utter disaster, and if ever there was a time that it was required, it was right here, right now.

When Alison sat down and looked at me, she knew something had happened between Jimmy and me.  I might have looked pale or red-faced, or angry or disappointed, but it didn’t matter.  If that didn’t seal the deal for her, the fact that I took over the dining engagement did.  She knew well enough that the only time I did that was when everything was about to go to hell in a handbasket.  She’d seen me in action before and had been suitably astonished.

But I got into gear, kept the champagne flowing and steered the conversation, as much as one could from a seasoned professional like Elaine, and, I think, in Jimmy’s eyes, he saw the battle lines and knew who took the crown on points.  Neither Elaine nor Jimmy suspected anything, and if the truth be told, I had improved my stocks with Elaine.  She was at times both surprised and interested, even willing to take a back seat.

Alison, on the other hand, tried poking around the edges, and, once when Elaine and Jimmy had got up to have a cigarette outside, questioned me directly.  I chose to ignore her and pretend nothing had happened, rather than tell her how much I was enjoying the evening.

She had her ‘secrets’.  I had mine.

At the end of the evening, when I got up to go to the bathroom, I was physically sick from the pent-up tension and the implications of what Jimmy had told me.  It took a while for me to pull myself together; so long, in fact, that Jimmy came looking for me.  I told him I’d drunk too much champagne, and he seemed satisfied with that excuse.  When I returned, both Alison and Elaine noticed how pale I was, but neither made any comment.

It was a sad way to end what was supposed to be a delightful evening, which, to a large degree, it was for the other three.  But I had achieved what I set out to do: to play them at their own game, watching the deception once I knew there was one, as warily as a cat watches its prey.

I had also discovered Jimmy’s real calling; a professor of economics at the same University Alison was doing her law degree.  It was no surprise in the end, on a night where surprises abounded, that the world could really be that small.

We parted in the early hours of the morning, a taxi whisking us back to the Lower East Side, another taking the Blaines back to the Upper West Side.  But, in our case, as Alison reminded me, it would not be for much longer.  She showed concern for my health and asked me what was wrong.  It took all the courage I could muster to tell her it was most likely something I ate and the champagne, and that I would be fine in the morning.

She could see quite plainly it was anything other than what I told her, but she didn’t pursue it.  Perhaps she just didn’t care what I was playing at.

And yet, after everything that had happened, once inside our ‘palace’, the events of the evening were discarded, like her clothing, and she again reminded me of what we had together in the early years before the problems had set in.

It left me confused and lost.

I couldn’t sleep because my mind had now gone down that irreversible path that told me I was losing her, that she had found someone else, and that our marriage was in its last death throes.

And now I knew it had something to do with Barclay.

…

© Charles Heath 2015-2026

Sunday In New York

The cinema of my dreams – I always wanted to write a war story – Episode 4

This is a story inspired by a visit to an old castle in Italy. It was, of course, written while travelling on a plane, though I’m not sure if it was from Calgary to Toronto, or New York to Vancouver.

But there’s more to come. Those were long flights…

And sadly, when I read what I’d written, off the plane and in the cold hard light of dawn, there were problems, which now, in the second draft, should provide the proper start.

…

Another fifty or so feet along, I stopped at an overhead grill.  The metal was showing on the tunnel side, but on the other side, I could see bushes.

I think I knew where we were.  This was where the road crossed a small bridge and headed towards the castle entrance.  It was on the northeastern side of the old battlements, and going straight under the road would take us to the eastern wall.

Whether we could get out of the castle there remained to be seen.

I took a step and saw Jack stop and turn around to look back the way we had come.  A moment later, a beam of light came from the break in the roof of the tunnel.  Perhaps the man had decided there might not be ghosts in the hole.

I heard the man’s voice travel up the tunnel.  “Looks like a cavern of something.”

That is something he might guess to be a tunnel.

We had to go.

I moved quickly in the opposite direction, into the dark, the sound of more rocks falling from the roof following us.

 

After another hundred feet or so, we reached a wall, a dead end to the tunnel.  It looked to me that it had been bricked in the recent past because it consisted of house bricks, not cobblestones.

The surface was wet, and there was the sound of dripping nearby.

Jack sat on the floor.  Nowhere to go, for him it was time to rest.

We couldn’t go back.

I pulled out a knife and poked it into the mortar, and the blade disappeared when I pushed it.  The mortar was soft.

I pushed hard on the wall midway up, and it moved.  I decided it might be wiser to kick at the wall, making it easier if it collapsed.

It created a hole about a foot around.  Further kicking made it bigger so that I could stoop down and climb through.  Jack went first, and I followed.

It came out into a clearing surrounded by trees.  Through the branches, I could see the forest on the other side of a paddock.

Jack once again stopped.

Voices.

Jackerby and one of his men.

“I’m sure there used to be a drainage tunnel somewhere here.  Those men got into the tunnel yet?”

“Working on making a hole so they can jump down.  Not long now.”

“Go back and help them.  I’ll keep an eye out here in case they find the exit.”

I heard the other man leave.

A minute passed, then two.  Then Jackerby said, “I know you’re there, Sam.  I’m alone out here, and I’m on your side.”

…

© Charles Heath 2022

Skeletons in the closet, and doppelgangers

A story called “Mistaken Identity”

…

How many of us have skeletons in the closet that we know nothing about? The skeletons we know about generally stay there, but those we do not, well, they have a habit of coming out of left field when we least expect them.

In this case, when you see your photo on a TV screen with the accompanying text that says you are wanted by every law enforcement agency in Europe, you’re in a state of shock, only to be compounded by those same police, armed and menacing, kicking the door down.

I’d been thinking about this premise for a while after I discovered my mother had a boyfriend before she married my father, a boyfriend who was, by all accounts, the man who was the love of her life.

Then, in terms of coming up with an idea for a story, what if she had a child by him that we didn’t know about, which might mean I had a half-brother or sister I knew nothing about. It’s not an uncommon occurrence from what I’ve been researching.

There are many ways of putting a spin on this story.

Then, in the back of my mind, I remembered a story an acquaintance at work was once telling us over morning tea, that a friend of a friend had a mother who had a twin sister and that each of the sisters had a son by the same father, without each knowing of the father’s actions, both growing up without the other having any knowledge of their half brother, only to meet by accident on the other side of the world.

It was an encounter that in the scheme of things might never have happened, and each would have remained oblivious of the other.

For one sister, the relationship was over before she discovered she was pregnant, and therefore had not told the man he was a father. It was no surprise the relationship foundered when she discovered he was also having a relationship with her sister, a discovery that caused her to cut all ties with both of them and never speak to either from that day.

It’s a story with more twists and turns than a country lane!

And a great idea for a story.

That story is called ‘Mistaken Identity’.

The cinema of my dreams – I always wanted to go on a treasure hunt – Episode 5

My mind will not rest.

Down here, it is summer, and the last few days have been rather hot; well, it is summer after all, but tonight it is particularly hot.

So, as I can’t sleep, I’m lying on the couch staring at the ceiling, otherwise known as the cinema of my dreams.

Where am I?

Well, the location is in keeping with the weather; hot, humid, and cold drinks are mandatory.

I’ve got one now!

…

A sleepless night did nothing to make the idea of going on a treasure hunt more palatable. I couldn’t say I didn’t see it coming, because Boggs had been hinting he’d found something of his father’s when poking through his old stuff.

I was hoping it was money.

And visiting the bar, I thought that he had found a lead in his quest to find some information about his parents, two people he realised now, he knew very little about.

In that quest, I was only too willing to help.

When he finally told me about the treasure, I didn’t think he was the sort to believe in fairy tales, because everyone knew it was little more than that.

I didn’t flat-out debunk the myth, but I could see I was going to have to carefully get him off this track.  Real or not, we were hardly equipped, mentally or physically, to deal with whatever this quest might throw up.

Yes, in my mind’s eye, I had a Raiders of the Lost Ark scenario running through my head, from large rolling stones, through to a snake pit.  I hated snakes, too.

In fact, with the addition of Boggs’ uncle Rico in the mix, it seemed to me we would be better off spending our time looking for work rather than using any excuse not to, but that was the problem with our neighbourhood, too many people looking for work and not enough jobs.  Prosperity seemed to be everywhere else.

“No lounging around in bed, Sam.”  My mother’s voice came from the kitchen, where she would be throwing food into a container for her lunch.

She was suffering from the lack of employment too, being a qualified accounts clerk, but for the time being, working check out at the local supermarket.

A job was a job, but it barely paid the bills.

I made it to the kitchen just as she was about to leave.

“You need to try harder,” she said.  “Walter said they’re looking for people in the warehouse again.  Promise me you’ll go see them.”

I could see the strain of the odd shifts she worked, the fact that she didn’t want to be there, but unlike my father, she accepted responsibility, no matter what it cost.

“I promise.”

A kiss on the forehead, and she was gone.

The jobs at the warehouse were little more than slave labour, minimum pay, very hard work, and ungrateful supervisors.  Most of those, like Boggs and I, lasted a week or less because that way they didn’t have to pay you for the few days you worked.

But it was a job, and it was time I stepped up.

The treasure hunt would have to wait.

…

© Charles Heath 2019-2026

What I learned about writing – Coffee, Crumbs, and Creativity: The Writer’s Fuel Dilemma

There’s a specific kind of alchemy that happens when you’re truly in the writing zone. Words flow, ideas connect, and the world outside the screen (or notebook) fades into a hazy, unimportant blur. It’s a magical, almost spiritual state where the story dictates the pace and you’re merely its conduit.

But let’s be honest, that magic often comes at a cost, doesn’t it?

The Sustenance Struggle

For many of us, the quest for sustained creative output inevitably clashes with the very human need for sustenance. The ubiquitous cup of coffee, the endless mug of tea – these become less a beverage and more a life support system. We sip, we type, we chase the next sentence, convinced that stopping for something as mundane as a meal will shatter the fragile spell.

The thought of breaking that momentum, of stepping away from a scene that’s finally unravelling just right, for a sandwich or a proper dinner, feels like artistic treason. We tell ourselves we don’t have time. We can’t interrupt the process. The words are right there.

The Inevitable Crash

This fierce dedication, while admirable in its intensity, is a double-edged sword. Our brains, despite their boundless capacity for imagination, are still physical organs. They run on glucose, not just caffeine and sheer willpower. Our bodies, too, require fuel and rest.

So, what happens? We push through. We ignore the growling stomach, the flickering headache, the creeping brain fog. We power through on adrenaline and the rapidly diminishing returns of our stimulant of choice. Until, of course, the well dries up.

The words blur. The plot holes yawn. The characters suddenly feel flat. That vibrant spring of inspiration suddenly looks suspiciously like a dry puddle. We drop from exhaustion, or are forced to stop because the mental engine has finally sputtered out. The creative fire is banked, not because the ideas are gone, but because the vessel carrying them is depleted.

Refuelling for the Long Haul

It’s in this forced pause that the deeper sustenance often arrives. Sleep isn’t just downtime; it’s vital processing time. It’s where your subconscious untangles plot knots, brews new ideas from disparate elements, and recharges the very batteries you’ve drained. Perhaps dreams, those wild, untamed narratives of our minds, become fertile ground for unexpected inspiration, offering a fresh perspective when you finally return to the page.

The lesson? Nurturing your body isn’t a distraction from your craft; it’s an integral part of it. Think of fueling yourself not as an interruption, but as an investment into longer, more productive, and ultimately more enjoyable writing sessions.

  • Pre-emptive Power: Before you dive deep, have a proper meal or at least a substantial snack. Think protein and complex carbs to avoid that precipitous sugar crash.
  • Hydrate Smarter: Water is your brain’s best friend. Keep a bottle within reach and sip regularly.
  • Strategic Breaks: A five-minute stretch, a quick walk to the kitchen for that piece of fruit, genuinely stepping away for a meal – these aren’t breaks from writing, they’re part of a sustainable writing practice. They allow your subconscious to work, your eyes to rest, and your body to refuel.
  • Listen to Your Body: Learn to recognise the early signs of fatigue and hunger. Don’t wait until you’re crashing to address them.

So, next time you feel that familiar pull into the writing vortex, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Is my body fueled? Is my mind sustained? Because the most brilliant stories are often born not just from passion, but from the well-being that allows that passion to truly flourish.

How do you navigate the delicate dance between creative flow and basic needs? Share your tips for staying nourished and inspired in the comments below!

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 159

Day 159 – If you want to be a writer, write

…

The Writer’s Paradox: Why Consumption Isn’t Creation

We live in a culture that loves to romanticise the “writer’s life.” We imagine it involves a worn leather notebook, a steaming cup of artisan coffee, and someone hunched over a desk, reading the classics until the prose is so deeply ingrained in their psyche that they eventually exhale a masterpiece.

But there is a dangerous misconception hidden in that romantic ideal. It is the belief that if you read enough, if you consume enough “good” writing, you will eventually wake up one morning and find that the words have seeped into your marrow, ready to flow out of you onto the page.

Here is the cold, hard truth: If reading is your pleasure, then simply read. Enjoy the stories. Let them move you. But do not mistake the act of consumption for the act of creation.

The Illusion of Osmosis

Many aspiring writers fall into the trap of “productive procrastination.” They justify spending six hours a day reading literary journals, studying sentence structures, and analysing plot devices, telling themselves, “I’m doing research. I’m filling my well.”

While reading is vital fuel for any writer, it is not the engine. You can read every shelf in the library, but your shelves will never write a paragraph for you. There is no biological osmosis in writing. The words you consume do not undergo a mystical transformation inside your bones and emerge as your own voice.

Reading is a passive experience. It is a dialogue between you and the author. Writing, however, is a monologue—a messy, uncomfortable, and often lonely exertion of will.

The Anatomy of a Writer

If you want to be a writer, you must stop waiting for the inspiration of others to do the heavy lifting for you.

When you read, you are a spectator. When you write, you are an athlete. You can watch the Olympics every single day for ten years, but that won’t make you a runner. To run, you have to strap on the shoes and hit the pavement when your lungs are burning, and your legs are heavy.

To write, you have to:

  • Face the blank cursor: It is the most terrifying and honest thing in the world.
  • Write badly: You have to produce “bone marrow” that isn’t quite ready yet. You have to write the rough, ugly, incoherent drafts before you can ever arrive at the polished prose you admire in others.
  • Commit to the output: A writer is defined by what they produce, not what they consume.

Stop Waiting, Start Doing

If you love books, keep reading. Let them be your sanctuary, your education, and your joy. But if you call yourself a writer, you must accept that your primary job is to create.

The words won’t flow out of your marrow until you force them out. They come from the friction of your own thoughts, your own experiences, and the sheer discipline of showing up to the page—even when you have nothing to say.

Don’t wait for the osmosis. Don’t wait for the “right time” or for your brain to be “full enough.”

If reading is your pleasure, read. But if you want to be a writer, write.

…

“The Devil You Don’t”, she was the girl you would not take home to your mother!

Now only $0.99 at https://amzn.to/2Xyh1ow

…

John Pennington’s life is in the doldrums. Looking for new opportunities and prevaricating about getting married, the only joy on the horizon was an upcoming visit to his grandmother in Sorrento, Italy.

Suddenly, he is left at the check-in counter with a message on his phone telling him the marriage is off, and the relationship is over.

If only he hadn’t promised a friend he would do a favour for him in Rome.

At the first stop, Geneva, he has a chance encounter with Zoe, an intriguing woman who captures his imagination from the moment she boards the Savoire, and his life ventures into uncharted territory in more ways than one.

That ‘favour’ for his friend suddenly becomes a life-changing event, and when Zoe, the woman who he knows is too good to be true, reappears, danger and death follow.

Shot at, lied to, seduced, and drawn into a world where nothing is what it seems, John is dragged into an adrenaline-charged undertaking, where he may have been wiser to stay with the ‘devil you know’ rather than opt for the ‘devil you don’t’.

newdevilcvr6

365 Days of writing, 2026 – 159

Day 159 – If you want to be a writer, write

…

The Writer’s Paradox: Why Consumption Isn’t Creation

We live in a culture that loves to romanticise the “writer’s life.” We imagine it involves a worn leather notebook, a steaming cup of artisan coffee, and someone hunched over a desk, reading the classics until the prose is so deeply ingrained in their psyche that they eventually exhale a masterpiece.

But there is a dangerous misconception hidden in that romantic ideal. It is the belief that if you read enough, if you consume enough “good” writing, you will eventually wake up one morning and find that the words have seeped into your marrow, ready to flow out of you onto the page.

Here is the cold, hard truth: If reading is your pleasure, then simply read. Enjoy the stories. Let them move you. But do not mistake the act of consumption for the act of creation.

The Illusion of Osmosis

Many aspiring writers fall into the trap of “productive procrastination.” They justify spending six hours a day reading literary journals, studying sentence structures, and analysing plot devices, telling themselves, “I’m doing research. I’m filling my well.”

While reading is vital fuel for any writer, it is not the engine. You can read every shelf in the library, but your shelves will never write a paragraph for you. There is no biological osmosis in writing. The words you consume do not undergo a mystical transformation inside your bones and emerge as your own voice.

Reading is a passive experience. It is a dialogue between you and the author. Writing, however, is a monologue—a messy, uncomfortable, and often lonely exertion of will.

The Anatomy of a Writer

If you want to be a writer, you must stop waiting for the inspiration of others to do the heavy lifting for you.

When you read, you are a spectator. When you write, you are an athlete. You can watch the Olympics every single day for ten years, but that won’t make you a runner. To run, you have to strap on the shoes and hit the pavement when your lungs are burning, and your legs are heavy.

To write, you have to:

  • Face the blank cursor: It is the most terrifying and honest thing in the world.
  • Write badly: You have to produce “bone marrow” that isn’t quite ready yet. You have to write the rough, ugly, incoherent drafts before you can ever arrive at the polished prose you admire in others.
  • Commit to the output: A writer is defined by what they produce, not what they consume.

Stop Waiting, Start Doing

If you love books, keep reading. Let them be your sanctuary, your education, and your joy. But if you call yourself a writer, you must accept that your primary job is to create.

The words won’t flow out of your marrow until you force them out. They come from the friction of your own thoughts, your own experiences, and the sheer discipline of showing up to the page—even when you have nothing to say.

Don’t wait for the osmosis. Don’t wait for the “right time” or for your brain to be “full enough.”

If reading is your pleasure, read. But if you want to be a writer, write.

…

Another excerpt from “Strangers We’ve Become” – A sequel to ‘What Sets Us Apart’

…

It was the first time in almost a week that I made the short walk to the cafe alone.  It was early, and the chill of the morning was still in the air.  In summer, it was the best time of the day.  When Susan came with me, it was usually much later, when the day was much warmer and less tolerable.

On the morning of the third day of her visit, Susan said she was missing the hustle and bustle of London, and by the end of the fourth she said, in not so many words, she was over being away from ‘civilisation’.  This was a side of her I had not seen before, and it surprised me.

She hadn’t complained, but it was making her irritable.  The Susan that morning was vastly different to the Susan on the first day.  So much, I thought, for her wanting to ‘reconnect’, the word she had used as the reason for coming to Greve unannounced.

It was also the first morning I had time to reflect on her visit and what my feelings were towards her.  It was the reason I’d come to Greve: to soak up the peace and quiet and think about what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

I sat in my usual corner.  Maria, one of two waitresses, came out, stopped, and there was no mistaking the relief in her manner.  There was an air of tension between Susan and Maria I didn’t understand, and it seemed to emanate from Susan rather than the other way around.  I could understand her attitude if it was towards Alisha, but not Maria.  All she did was serve coffee and cake.

When Maria recovered from the momentary surprise, she said, smiling, “You are by yourself?”  She gave a quick glance in the direction of my villa, just to be sure.

“I am this morning.  I’m afraid the heat, for one who is not used to it, can be quite debilitating.  I’m also afraid it has had a bad effect on her manners, for which I apologise.  I cannot explain why she has been so rude to you.”

“You do not have to apologise for her, David, but it is of no consequence to me.  I have had a lot worse.  I think she is simply jealous.”

It had crossed my mind, but there was no reason for her to be.  “Why?”

“She is a woman, I am a woman, she thinks because you and I are friends, there is something between us.”

It made sense, even if it was not true.  “Perhaps if I explained…”

Maria shook her head.  “If there is a hole in the boat, you should not keep bailing but try to plug the hole.  My grandfather had many expressions, David.  If I may give you one piece of advice, as much as it is none of my business, you need to make your feelings known, and if they are not as they once were, and I think they are not, you need to tell her.  Before she goes home.”

Interesting advice.  Not only a purveyor of excellent coffee, but Maria was also a psychiatrist who had astutely worked out my dilemma.  What was that expression, ‘not just a pretty face’?

“Is she leaving soon?” I asked, thinking Maria knew more about Susan’s movements than I did.

“You would disappoint me if you had not suspected as much.  Susan was having coffee and talking to someone in her office on a cell phone.  It was an intense conversation.  I should not eavesdrop, but she said being here was like being stuck in hell.  It is a pity she does not share your love for our little piece of paradise, is it not?”

“It is indeed.  And you’re right.  She said she didn’t have a phone, but I know she has one.  She just doesn’t value the idea of getting away from the office.  Perhaps her role doesn’t afford her that luxury.”

And perhaps Alisha was right about Maria, that I should be more careful.  She had liked Maria the moment she saw her.  We had sat at this very table, the first day I arrived.  I would have travelled alone, but Prendergast, my old boss, liked to know where ex-employees of the Department were, and what they were doing.

She sighed.  “I am glad I am just a waitress.  Your usual coffee and cake?”

“Yes, please.”

Several months had passed since we had rescued Susan from her despotic father; she had recovered faster than we had thought, and settled into her role as the new Lady Featherington, though she preferred not to use that title, but go by the name of Lady Susan Cheney.

I didn’t get to be a Lord, or have any title, not that I was expecting one.  What I had expected was that Susan, once she found her footing as head of what seemed to be a commercial empire, would not have time for details like husbands, particularly when our agreement made before the wedding gave either of us the right to end it.

There was a moment when I visited her recovering in the hospital, where I was going to give her the out, but I didn’t, and she had not invoked it.  We were still married, just not living together.

This visit was one where she wanted to ‘reconnect’ as she called it, and invite me to come home with her.  She saw no reason why we could not resume our relationship, conveniently forgetting she indirectly had me arrested for her murder, charges both her mother and Lucy vigorously pursued, and had the clone not returned to save me, I might still be in jail.

It was not something I would forgive or forget any time soon.

There were other reasons why I was reluctant to stay with her, like forgetting small details, an irregularity in her character I found odd.  She looked the same, she sounded the same, she basically acted the same, but my mind was telling me something was not right.  It was not the Susan I first met, even allowing for the ordeal she had been subjected to.

But, despite those misgivings, there was no question in my mind that I still loved her, and her clandestine arrival had brought back all those feelings.  But as the days passed, I began to get the impression my feelings were one-sided and she was just going through the motions.

Which brought me to the last argument, earlier, where I said if I went with her, it would be business meetings, social obligations, and quite simply her ‘celebrity’ status that would keep us apart.  I reminded her that I had said from the outset I didn’t like the idea of being in the spotlight, and when I reiterated it, she simply brushed it off as just part of the job, adding rather strangely that I always looked good in a suit.  The flippancy of that comment was the last straw, and I left before I said something I would regret.

I knew I was not a priority.  Maybe somewhere inside me, I had wanted to be a priority, and I was disappointed when I was not.

And finally, there was Alisha.  Susan, at the height of the argument, had intimated she believed I had an affair with her, but that elephant was always in the room whenever Alisha was around.  It was no surprise when I learned Susan had asked Prendergast to reassign her to other duties. 

At least I knew what my feelings for Alisha were, and there were times when I had to remember she was persona non grata.  Perhaps that was why Susan had her banished, but, again, a small detail; jealousy was not one of Susan’s traits when I first knew her.

Perhaps it was time to set Susan free.

When I swung around to look in the direction of the lane where my villa was, I saw Susan.  She was formally dressed, not in her ‘tourist’ clothes, which she had bought from one of the local clothing stores.  We had fun that day, shopping for clothes, a chore I’d always hated.  It had been followed by a leisurely lunch, lots of wine and soul searching.

It was the reason why I sat in this corner; old habits die hard.  I could see trouble coming from all directions, not that Susan was trouble or at least I hoped not, but it allowed me the time to watch her walking towards the cafe in what appeared to be short, angry steps; perhaps the culmination of the heat wave and our last argument.

She glared at me as she sat, dropping her bag beside her on the ground, where I could see the cell phone sitting on top.  She followed my glance down, and then she looked unrepentant back at me.

Maria came back at the exact moment she was going to speak.  I noticed Maria hesitate for a second when she saw Susan, then put her smile in place to deliver my coffee.

Neither spoke nor looked at each other.  I said, “Susan will have what I’m having, thanks.”

Maria nodded and left.

“Now,” I said, leaning back in my seat, “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation as to why you didn’t tell me about the phone, but that first time you disappeared, I’d guessed you needed to keep in touch with your business interests.  I thought it somewhat unwisethat you should come out when the board of one of your companies was trying to remove you, because of what was it, an unexplained absence?  All you had to do was tell me there were problems and you needed to remain at home to resolve them.”

My comment elicited a sideways look, with a touch of surprise.

“It was unfortunate timing on their behalf, and I didn’t want you to think everything else was more important than us.  There were issues before I came, and I thought the people at home would be able to manage without me for at least a week, but I was wrong.”

“Why come at all.  A phone call would have sufficed.”

“I had to see you, talk to you.  At least we have had a chance to do that.  I’m sorry about yesterday.  I once told you I would not become my mother, but I’m afraid I sounded just like her.  I misjudged just how much this role would affect me, and truly, I’m sorry.”

An apology was the last thing I expected.

“You have a lot of work to do catching up after being away, and of course, in replacing your mother and gaining the requisite respect as the new Lady Featherington.  I think it would be for the best if I were not another distraction.  We have plenty of time to reacquaint ourselves when you get past all these teething issues.”

“You’re not coming with me?”  She sounded disappointed.

“I think it would be for the best if I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“It should come as no surprise to you that I’ve been keeping an eye on your progress.  You are so much better doing your job without me.  I told your mother once that when the time came I would not like the responsibilities of being your husband.  Now that I have seen what it could possibly entail, I like it even less.  You might also want to reconsider our arrangement, after all, we only had a marriage of convenience, and now that those obligations have been fulfilled, we both have the option of terminating it.  I won’t make things difficult for you if that’s what you want.”

It was yet another anomaly, I thought; she should look distressed, and I would raise the matter of that arrangement.  Perhaps she had forgotten the finer points.  I, on the other hand, had always known we would not last forever.  The perplexed expression, to me, was a sign she might have forgotten.

Then, her expression changed.  “Is that what you want?”

“I wasn’t madly in love with you when we made that arrangement, so it was easy to agree to your terms, but inexplicably, since then, my feelings for you changed, and I would be sad if we parted ways.  But the truth is, I can’t see how this is going to work.”

“In saying that, do you think I don’t care for you?”

That was exactly what I was thinking, but I wasn’t going to voice that opinion out loud.  “You spent a lot of time finding new ways to make my life miserable, Susan.  You and that wretched friend of yours, Lucy.  While your attitude improved after we were married, that was because you were going to use me when you went to see your father, and then almost let me go to prison for your murder.”

“I had nothing to do with that, other than to leave, and I didn’t agree with Lucy that you should be made responsible for my disappearance.  I cannot be held responsible for the actions of my mother.  She hated you; Lucy didn’t understand you, and Millie told me I was stupid for not loving you in return, and she was right.  Why do you think I gave you such a hard time?  You made it impossible not to fall in love with you, and it nearly changed my mind about everything I’d been planning so meticulously.  But perhaps there was a more subliminal reason why I did because after I left, I wanted to believe, if anything went wrong, you would come and find me.”

“How could you possibly know that I’d even consider doing something like that, given what you knew about me?”

“Prendergast made a passing comment when my mother asked him about you; he told us you were very good at finding people and even better at fixing problems.”

“And yet here we are, one argument away from ending it.”

I could see Maria hovering, waiting for the right moment to deliver her coffee, then go back and find Gianna, the café owner, instead.  Gianna was more abrupt and, for that reason, was rarely seen serving the customers.  Today, she was particularly cantankerous, banging the cake dish on the table and frowning at Susan before returning to her kitchen.  Gianna didn’t like Susan either.

Behind me, I heard a car stop, and when she looked up, I knew it was for her.  She had arrived with nothing, and she was leaving with nothing.

She stood.  “Last chance.”

“Forever?”

She hesitated and then shook away the look of annoyance on her face.  “Of course not.  I wanted you to come back with me so we could continue working on our relationship.  I agree there are problems, but it’s nothing we can’t resolve if we try.”

I had been trying.  “It’s too soon for both of us, Susan.  I need to be able to trust you, and given the circumstances, and all that water under the bridge, I’m not sure if I can yet.”

She frowned at me.  “As you wish.”  She took an envelope out of her bag and put it on the table.  “When you are ready, it’s an open ticket home.  Please make it sooner rather than later.  Despite what you think of me, I have missed you, and I have no intention of ending it between us.”

That said, she glared at me for a minute, shook her head, then walked to the car.  I watched her get in and the car drive slowly away.

No kiss, no touch, no looking back. 

…

© Charles Heath 2018-2025

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