An excerpt from “If Only” – a work in progress

Investigation of crimes doesn’t always go according to plan, nor does the perpetrator get either found or punished.

That was particularly true in my case.  The murderer was incredibly careful in not leaving any evidence behind, to the extent that the police could not rule out whether it was a male or a female.

At one stage the police thought I had murdered my own wife though how I could be on a train at the time of the murder was beyond me.  I had witnesses and a cast-iron alibi.

The officer in charge was Detective First Grade Gabrielle Walters.  She came to me on the day after the murder seeking answers to the usual questions like, when was the last time you saw your wife, did you argue, the neighbors reckon there were heated discussions the day before.

Routine was the word she used.

Her fellow detective was a surly piece of work whose intention was to get answers or, more likely, a confession by any or all means possible.  I could sense the raging violence within him.  Fortunately, common sense prevailed.

Over the course of the next few weeks, once I’d been cleared of committing the crime, Gabrielle made a point of keeping me informed of the progress.

After three months the updates were more sporadic, and when, for lack of progress, it became a cold case, communication ceased.

But it was not the last I saw of Gabrielle.

The shock of finding Vanessa was more devastating than the fact she was now gone, and those images lived on in the same nightmare that came to visit me every night when I closed my eyes.

For months I was barely functioning, to the extent I had all but lost my job, and quite a few friends, particularly those who were more attached to Vanessa rather than me.

They didn’t understand how it could affect me so much, and since it had not happened to them, my tart replies of ‘you wouldn’t understand’ were met with equally short retorts.  Some questioned my sanity, even, for a time, so did I.

No one, it seemed, could understand what it was like, no one except Gabrielle.

She was by her own admission, damaged goods, having been the victim of a similar incident, a boyfriend who turned out to be an awfully bad boy.  Her story varied only in she had been made to witness his execution.  Her nightmare, in reliving that moment in time, was how she was still alive and, to this day, had no idea why she’d been spared.

It was a story she told me one night, some months after the investigation had been scaled down.  I was still looking for the bottom of a bottle and an emotional mess.  Perhaps it struck a resonance with her; she’d been there and managed to come out the other side.

What happened become our secret, a once-only night together that meant a great deal to me, and by mutual agreement, it was not spoken of again.  It was as if she knew exactly what was required to set me on the path to recovery.

And it had.

Since then, we saw each about once a month in a cafe.   I had been surprised to hear from her again shortly after that eventful night when she called to set it up, ostensibly for her to provide me with any updates on the case, but perhaps we had, after that unspoken night, formed a closer bond than either of us wanted to admit.

We generally talked for hours over wine, then dinner and coffee.  It took a while for me to realize that all she had was her work, personal relationships were nigh on impossible in a job that left little or no spare time for anything else.

She’d always said that if I had any questions or problems about the case, or if there was anything that might come to me that might be relevant, even after all this time, all I had to do was call her.

I wondered if this text message was in that category.  I was certain it would interest the police and I had no doubt they could trace the message’s origin, but there was that tiny degree of doubt, about whether or not I could trust her to tell me what the message meant.

I reached for the phone then put it back down again.  I’d think about it and decide tomorrow.

© Charles Heath 2018-2020

The Cinema of My Dreams – It ended in Sorrento – Episode 55

Watching the prime suspect

…

I joined Cecelia on the side of a hill about 500 yards from the front of the main entrance to the Burkehardt residence.  On one side there were several outbuildings, and beyond those, the vines, acres and acres of them.  On the other side, where we were, there was more vines and gardens.

It was warm, but we were under the trees and had a hedgerow to hide behind, so we were quite safe from being seen.

Cecelia had picked her spot with care.  Clear sight to the front entrance, clear sight of the driveway from the road to the house, and the opportunity to like up targets with the rifle, already set out.

It was not loaded.  She was using the sight to home in on those at home.

“A mother, a father, two girls and a boy.  The parents fight a lot.  Th mother and the three children left about a half hour ago, and the old man is sitting at a table reading the newspaper.  You’d think he’d be out working.”

“Anyone call?”

“One.  The man answered a cell phone, spoke for a minute then went back to the paper.  If he starts doing the crossword, I’m going to shoot him.”

She took another look, then sat up.  She had brought a hamper with food and drinks.  No wine.  We needed to remain focused.

It was a fine day, and just started to get hot, despite the fact we were quite buried by the surrounding trees.  The heat was tempered by a slight breeze, and the sound of it rustling the leaves was oddly soothing.

One of the more pleasant stake outs I’d been on.

My phone buzzed.  A message.

‘One of the phones called a man named Dicostini about twenty minutes ago and said they were on their way, there was a problem.’

As I suspected, the fake countess was working with Dicostini.

“And…?”  Cecelia looked at me expectantly.

“Expect to see the fake countess.  They are on their way.”

We didn’t have to wait very long.  I had expected they would arrive about an hour after I had, but then, the countess did have some disconcerting news.  What surprised me was the fact she just didn’t tell him over the phone.  If I were Dicostini, I would have told her to stay away for fear of being linked together, and that was still a possibility if there were other people in the house, loyal to the Dicostini or not.

Cecelia had picked up the gun and was pointing it at every car that passed the driveway entrance, checking on the drivers and passengers if there were any.

“Got them.”

I saw the car stop at the driveway entrance for a minute, and then start slowly along the driveway.

“Juliet is driving the car.  The two women are in the back.  Odd.”

“Perhaps they’re practising being wealthy dowagers.”

She put the gun back facing the house.

“You got your phone?”

“Why?

“Alfie would have put an app on it so you can listen to the conversation.  I didn’t think about it until now otherwise we could have listened to them on the way here.”

I gave it to her, and she fiddled with it for a minute, handing it back and the car stopped outside the house.

“You think it would be that riveting?”

“No.  But it might give us some idea what they’re up to?”

Then a voice came over the speaker, not too loud but loud enough for us to hear.

“You stay in the car, Juliet.  The fewer people who know about this the better.”  I could not put a face to the voice.

“Distinction for the uninvolved.  I will not be breaking you out of prison just so you know.”

“Don’t be such a spoilt brat.”

I heard two doors slam and then silence, other than feet crunching on the gravel.  Cecelia lined them up in her sights and said, “Just say the word.”

At the top of the stairs, I could just see them stop at the door and rang the bell.  It took several minutes before Dicostini answered.

“This is not a good idea, coming here,” he said.

“Well, the phones aren’t safe.  We disabled the GPS, and I sure as hell aren’t going to tell you anything using one.  Let’s go inside.”

“You shouldn’t be here.  If anyone sees, you…”

“Not if we come, say our piece, and go.  Arguing is only making it more dangerous.”

He stood to one side and let them pass.

Three minutes later I heard Cecelia say, “Got them again.”

The vices came back.

“What’s so pressing you have to come here.”

“The signing had been delayed.”

“The Burkehardt’s.  The suspect something.  You?  What do you do wrong?”

“I’ve seen the solicitor, and the family in London, even that fool Rodby insisted I use as an escort.  They all think I’m the countess.”

“Except now you are missing, they’re worried.  Rodby should have kept out of it, but you going missing the way you did, has only caused us trouble.  The Burkhardt’s called him and then he had to do something about it.”

“You know that was for effect, to get away from the family because the longer I’m with them the more chance they’ll discover the truth.  Rodby should be happy to know I have been found, which is exactly as it was planned, and that his man will be taking me to the signing.  Rodby will do as he’s told.”

“A week’s a long time for things to go wrong.  You have to say in hiding.”

“It’s another week and I have people pressing me for money.”  Vittoria wasn’t happy.

“You know the deal.  The countess signs the papers, and you get your payment.  I can’t help it if it’s been delayed.  They can’t delay it forever.  You’ve delivered the message, now go, before anyone finds you here.”

© Charles Heath 2023

The cinema of my dreams – Was it just another surveillance job – Episode 56

This story is now on the list to be finished so over the new few weeks, expect a new episode every few days.

The reason why new episodes have been sporadic, there are also other stories to write, and I’m not very good at prioritizing.

But, here we are, a few minutes opened up and it didn’t take long to get back into the groove.

Things are about to get complicated…


“Turn around and head towards the trees, we’re not very far from you,” the voice in my head said.

I turned, saw the trees and moved towards them.

“Straight ahead.”

Then I could just see her, beside one of the tree trunks, under the cover of the canopy.

For the moment we would not be seen, but if someone was looking intently, we would be seen.

Jennifer was kneeling, her knees and weight keeping the assailant on the ground.  She handed me the gun, a silenced Baretta, with the distinct aroma of a discharged bullet.

Jennifer had pulled off the balaclava.  Jan.

Not working for Severin, but Dobbin.  Or someone else?

“Who ordered the hit?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Not entirely unexpected.

I pulled out my phone and dialled the number for the Detective Inspector that had been at Maury’s crime scene.  I knew there was going to be a need to call her in the not-too-distant future.  And Jan needed to be in a safe place where she couldn’t be got at.

“Who is this?”

My number would have come up as a ‘private number’.

“We met at the hotel where Maury died.”

“The spy?”

“Of sorts.  I’m sorry to say that his companion, Severin, is also now very dead in the rotunda at the Italian Gardens at Hyde Park.  I’d get someone down here before the body is removed or found by a member of the public.”

I heard a scream and deduced it came from the rotunda.

“Too late.  Hurry before the crime scene is contaminated.”

“Where are you?”

“Nearby.  And if you’re especially quick, we have a surprise for you.”

Two constables arrived in four minutes, most likely nearby for another reason.  The Detective Inspector and her Sergeant arrived within 20 minutes, but by that time Jennifer and Jan had retreated to the car, parked away from the gardens.

Anyone seeing us heading away would have picked us for three drunken fools escorting a friend who had passed out.  Jan had struggled to get free, and it had been necessary to subdue her.

I had wanted to ask further questions, but circumstances didn’t allow it.  Not yet.

Leaving Jennifer with Jan, securely tied up, but looking like she was sleeping of a long drinking session, I went back to the crime scene just as the Detective Inspector was coming out of the rotunda.

She recognised me and called me over to the tape that separated the public from the scene.  The forensic team had just arrived and was setting up.  I doubted she would let me into the crime scene area, but I had seen enough when I’d been there with Severin.

“Why are you here, and give me a good reason not to take you into custody.”

“He called me earlier and wanted to talk.  I think he found out Maury was dead, and he was next.  I didn’t kill him, but I know who did, but I’m not sure we’re going to be able to prove it.”

“That weedy little man that saved your ass the last time?”

“Richards or Dobbin?  Either or together or one of their henchmen.  Not sure, to be honest.  All I knop is it’s possible Maury was killed during an intense interrogation.  I suspect Severin was killed to silence him.”

“Because of what?”

“I believe it is about the existence of a formula for a biological weapon.”

…

© Charles Heath 2020-2023

A photograph from the inspirational bin – 53

What story does it inspire?

…

…

While in reality, this is just an ordinary lake at a resort we stayed at a while back and can be used for canoeing.

During summer the surrounding undergrowth is a haven for snakes, and it is not a good idea to wander too close.

Hardly the place to spur the imagination…

Unless, of course, you start thinking about the ethereal aspects it could possess. For instance, it might be the place where the ghosts of those who drowned come out to play at night.

It might be a lake in the middle of what was once an experimental site that needed a lot of water, and that tainted water might be the haven for mysterious creatures.

Ot it just might be part of a disused government secret site, long abandoned, with buildings and infrastructure just waiting for the right explorer to visit. Again, the ghosts of those who once were there could just be the reason why no one goes near the place.

And, what if there was an extensive, and invisible network of underground rooms. Above ground, just a pond and surrounding overgrown gardens, underneath, well, that’s up to you.

Writing a book in 365 days – 41

Day 41

Writing about what you know and your opinion’s relevance

The thought that someone reading your world, be it an article, a short story, a technical diatribe, a novel, or a work of nonfiction, would think at some point that it’s boring would be unthinkable.

But…

You know the subject, you know the bits that interest you; you do not find it boring, no, not in the least.

And yet lost in your own world, it’s fascinating stuff, and it pours out on the pages as liquid gold.

You can not forget that relevant or not the subject matter had to engage the reader and keep them reading until the last pages.

That adage, wiring about what you know, is a good one, but it only goes so far.

So clearly, when writing a novel, the story has to engage the reader at pages 1, paragraph 1, and sentence 1. And believe me, that’s not an easy thing to do.

We’ve been talking about the art of keeping the reader’s attention for a few days now, with various quotes coming from authors who have tackled the problem themselves.

It happens.

It’s why my stories go through half a dozen, if not more, rewrites and edits. I find the first edit after writing a complete story better to be done after leaving it for six months. Then it’s like reading it for the first time, and it’s very easy to pick up the lapses and boring bits.

If there are any.

Searching for locations: Flinders Street Station, Melbourne, Australia

This is the famous clock tower of the Flinders Street Station (the main train station for suburban trains) in Melbourne.

We were staying in a hotel (The Doubletree) directly opposite the station and our room overlooked the station and the clock tower.  I took photos of it during the day:

and this one, at night.  It came out better than I thought it would.

20160302_215639

I just want to be finished

Just when you think that the story is done, and you’re on the third re-read, just to make sure…

Damn!

I don’t like the way that chapter reads, and what’s worse, it’s about the tenth time I’ve looked at it.

It doesn’t matter the last three times you read it, it was just fine, or, the editor has read it and the chapter passed without any major comment.

I think the main problem I have is letting go.  For some odd reason, certain parts of a story sometimes seem to me as though they are not complete, or can be missing a vital clue or connection for the continuity of the story.

That, of course, happens when you rewrite a section that is earlier on in the story, and then have to make ongoing changes.

Yes, I hear the stern warnings, that I should have made a comprehensive outline at the beginning, but the trouble is, I can change the ending, as I’m writing it and then have to go back and add the hooks earlier on.  Not the best method, but isn’t that what an editor is for, to pick up the missed connections, and out of the blue events that happen for no reason?

I find that often after leaving a finished story for a month before the next reading, the whole picture must formulate itself in my head, so when I re-read, there was always a problem, one I didn’t want to think about until the re-read.

Even then it might survive a second pass.

I know the scene is in trouble when I get to it and alarm bells are going off.  I find anything else to do but look at it.

So, here I am, making major changes.

But, at least now I am satisfied with where it’s going.

Only 325 pages to go!

‘What Sets Us Apart’ – A beta readers view

There’s something to be said for a story that starts like a James Bond movie, throwing you straight in the deep end, a perfect way of getting to know the main character, David, or is that Alistair?

A retired spy, well not so much a spy as a retired errand boy, David’s rather wry description of his talents, and a woman that most men would give their left arm for, not exactly the ideal couple, but there is a spark in a meeting that may or may not have been a setup.

But as the story progressed, the question I kept asking myself was why he’d bother.

And, page after unrelenting page, you find out.

Susan is exactly the sort of woman to pique his interest.  Then, inexplicably, she disappears.  That might have been the end to it, but Prendergast, that shadowy enigma, David’s ex-boss who loves playing games with real people, gives him an ultimatum, find her or come back to work.

Nothing like an offer that’s a double-edged sword!

A dragon for a mother, a sister he didn’t know about, Susan’s BFF who is not what she seems or a friend indeed, and Susan’s father who, up till David meets her, couldn’t be less interested, his nemesis proves to be the impossible dream, and he’s always just that one step behind.

When the rollercoaster finally came to a halt, and I could start breathing again, it was an ending that was completely unexpected.

I’ve been told there’s a sequel in the works.

Bring it on!

…

The book can be purchased here:  http://amzn.to/2Eryfth

…

Searching for locations: Toowoomba Flower Festival, Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia

The Toowoomba Carnival of Flowers is held in September, and generally runs for ten days at the end of the month.

We visited the Laurel Bank Park, where there are beds of many colorful flowers,

open spaces,

statues,

an area set aside for not only tulips but a model windmill

and quite a number of hedge sculptures

There was also the opportunity to go on a morning or afternoon garden tour which visited a number of private gardens of residences in Toowoomba.

The story behind the story: A Case of Working With the Jones Brothers

To write a private detective serial has always been one of the items at the top of my to-do list, though trying to write novels and a serial, as well as a blog, and maintain a social media presence, well, you get the idea.

But I made it happen, from a bunch of episodes I wrote a long, long time ago, used these to start it, and then continue on, then as now, never having much of an idea where it was going to end up, or how long it would take to tell the story.

That, I think is the joy of ad hoc writing, even you, as the author, have as much idea of where it’s going as the reader does.

It’s basically been in the mill since 1990, and although I finished it last year, it looks like the beginning to end will have taken exactly 30 years.  Had you asked me 30 years ago if I’d ever get it finished, the answer would be maybe?

My private detective, Harry Walthenson

I’d like to say he’s from that great literary mold of Sam Spade, or Mickey Spillane, or Phillip Marlow, but he’s not.

But, I’ve watched Humphrey Bogart play Sam Spade with much interest, and modelled Harry and his office on it.  Similarly, I’ve watched Robert Micham play Phillip Marlow with great panache, if not detachment, and added a bit of him to the mix.

Other characters come into play, and all of them, no matter what period they’re from, always seem larger than life.  I’m not above stealing a little of Mary Astor, Peter Lorre or Sidney Greenstreet, to breathe life into beguiling women and dangerous men alike.

Then there’s the title, like

The Case of the Unintentional Mummy – this has so many meanings in so many contexts, though I imagine that back in Hollywood in the ’30s and ’40s, this would be excellent fodder for Abbott and Costello

The Case of the Three-Legged Dog – Yes, I suspect there may be a few real-life dogs with three legs, but this plot would involve something more sinister.  And if made out of plaster, yes, they’re always something else inside.

But for mine, to begin with, it was “The Case of the …”, because I had no idea what the case was going to be about, well, I did, but not specifically.

Then I liked the idea of calling it “The Case of the Brother’s Revenge” because I began to have a notion there was a brother no one knew about, but that’s stuff for other stories, not mine, so then went the way of the others.

Now it’s called ‘A Case of Working With the Jones Brothers’, finished the first three drafts, and at the editor for the last.

I have high hopes of publishing it in early 2021.  It even has a cover.

PIWalthJones1