I’m back home and this story has been sitting on a back burner for a few months, waiting for some more to be written.

The trouble is, there are also other stories to write, and I’m not very good at prioritising.

But, here we are, a few minutes opened up and it didn’t take long to get back into the groove.

Was I working for a ghost?

Training sometimes was one of those things that went in one ear and came out the other.  That accounted for the boring bits, but our instructors called it tradecraft. 

I guess I should have taken more notice at the time.

Home was a bedsit in Bloomsbury, Not far from the Russell Square underground station, on the ground floor overlooking the small park.  Sometimes, in summer I would sit there and watch the world go by, thinking there had to be more to life than waiting for an opportunity.

To do what, at the time, I didn’t know.  But, when this opportunity presented itself, oddly as a rather strange ad in the help wanted pages of the newspaper, I guess the people who put it there were looking for the curious sort, with a sense of adventure.

My first impression of the job was that of a courier who would be required to travel a lot.  It said, in part, “must be prepared to travel to different locations worldwide, understand the requirement of confidentiality, and must be able to respond to emergencies that might occur in the carrying out of your duties.”

To me, it spelled courier, though I rather hoped it wasn’t the briefcase handcuffed to a wrist sort and no guns.

After the first interview, I think I had guessed correctly, though, in subsequent training, the word tradecraft put a slightly different slant to the job.  That, and the surveillance module, sold to us as “you need to know if you are being followed, recognise hostiles, and be able to deal with them.”

But, it was the notion that we should get out of any habits we had, those that made us predictable to an enemy, yes, they actually used the word, enemy.  Like for instance, if we caught the same train, or bus, into the city.  If we went to the same cafe for coffee, restaurant for lunch or dinner, met people in a pub on the same day, same time, each week.

Before all this, I found comfort in a regular schedule.  I hated being late, except when the transport system let me down.  I had a regular stop off on the way to the office for coffee, and usually went to the same cafe for lunch at the same time.

Inevitably I would leave home at the same time and quite often return home at the same time.  OK, I was boring and predictable.  Now it was a little different, with some variation in departure and arrival times, as well as the places I stopped for coffee, and lunch or dinner.

This day I was very late, after dark in fact, getting back to the flat.

I went in after checking for mail, not that anyone ever sent letters these days, unlocked my door, went in and switched on the light.

The whole of the living space had been trashed.  Well, more to the point, someone had checked everywhere it was possible to hide anything, which I didn’t, and hadn’t bothered cleaning up after them.

Had they been interrupted?

If that had happened the landlady would be down in a flash the moment I walked in the door, not to commiserate on my bad luck, but to issue me with an eviction notice.  Very little was tolerated in her establishment.

That she hadn’t told me that whoever did this had done it very quietly, and without anyone knowing.  We had been taught the same procedures which is why I recognised the signs.  This had to be done by my previous employers.  The only question I had was why?

I had nothing they could possibly want.

I took a few minutes to clean up the mess so that instead of a thorough trashing, it just looked like the aftermath of a wild party, then went out to get a coffee and think about why this had happened.

Not far up the road was a cafe I went to for dinner if I wasn’t doing something else, and, lo and behold, the minute I walked in the door, there was Severin, sitting at the back half disguised by the evening newspaper.

Obviously, he’d been waiting for me.

Yes, now I understood the implications of being someone who did the same thing over and over.

There was no mistaking the invitation, and, after briefly considering ignoring him, realised that was not going to work.  After seeing what happened to O’Connor at their hand, I didn’t want to join him.

I sat down.  “I have to say this is an unexpected surprise.”

He put the paper down.  “For both of us, I can assure you.  I’ll get straight to the point.  I want the USB.”

“What USB?”

“That your target was carrying, it wasn’t on him, so by elimination, not being anywhere at the crime scene, you must have it.  He either gave it to you, or you took it from him.  Where is it?”

I took a minute to process what he was saying.  I had not seen a USB, not had he given me one, not was there one nearby.  I would have seen it.  No need to pretend to be surprised.  I was.

“I haven’t got it.”

“He didn’t give you anything?”

“How could he, you were there just about the same time as I was.  And after you shot him, he had nothing on him.  Whatever you’re looking for, it must still be in the alley, or he hid it somewhere else.  And since you shot him, I doubt whether you’ll ever find out.”

He shook his head and folded his paper.  “If you’ve got it we’ll find out. and it will not bode well for you.  And if you accidentally find it, here’s my card.  Call me.”

He dropped a card on the table as he got up.

I picked it up just as he stopped and turned to give me a last look before walking out the door.  There was no mistaking the intent, if they thought I had it, I’d be dead now.”

And it meant that the evidence O’Conner was referring to was on a USB.  All I had to do was find it.  Or Nobbin did.

© Charles Heath 2019

Well, it’s been a monumental process to get to the point where I think I can start writing Chapter One.

This, of course, might not be the first chapter, it might finish up somewhere else.

If there was a plan, then this would be chapter one.  In fact, right now, I’m going to sit down and do a plan with as much as I know about where the book is heading.

One, about Bill and his introduction to the reader

Two, a phone call to interrupt the dream

Three, having to go into work – there’s a disaster going on, and he’s the only one who can fix it.

Well, not necessarily others, but this is the nineteen seventies/eighties, and women were still not looked upon or considered as being able to hold the same position as Bill – we’ve certainly come a long way in forty years.

And that, of course, is anther stream in the book, proving that woman, and one in particular is clever and given the recognition she deserves.

I’ve also got to remember that there is no internet, and there are no mobile phones and a lot of other stuff that is now regarded as commonplace and taken for granted.

We had telephone boxes, telephones on desks that connected to a switchboard, dumb terminals connected to mainframes, modems that were bulky and very very slow, and comms ran very differently to those today, and networking was a variety of technologies that mostly don’t exist anymore, like ethernet and token ring, and software like 3Com and Novell.

I know I’m going to forget sometimes because it’s going to be hard not to have the MC pull out his cellphone and call on the spot.

Anyway, here’s the first attempt…

A cool breeze blew briskly across meadows of tall grass, giving the impression of the ocean in a storm.  High above, clouds scudded across the sky, occasionally allowing the sun to shine through to bathe the ground in the sunshine, intensifying the richness of the greens and browns.

It was spring.  Trees were displaying new growth, and flowers were starting to show the promise of summery delight.  An occasional light shower of rain added to the delightful aromas, particularly where the grass had recently been mowed.

I was there, too, with my grandmother, the woman who had, for the most part, brought me up at her country residence.  But, as I got older, the dream changed and sometimes there were storm clouds on the horizon, or I was caught in the rain, alone and frightened, or lost in the woods in the dark.

There were other visions like these from my childhood, now a million years away somewhere in a distant past that was hard to remember or say where and when they belonged.  It was a pity some were now based on images stolen from the start of a movie seen on TV late at night as I was trying to get to sleep.  Or that the psychiatrist had said there was some trauma from my early childhood, trying to work its way out.

Like every other morning, these images came to me as I was hovering somewhere between conscious and unconscious, just before the alarm went off.  Then it did, filling the room with a shrill noise that would have woken the dead.

I cursed, and then dragged myself over to the other side of the bed where I’d put the alarm clock, and hit it, killing the shrill sound.  I’d put it there so I would have to wake up to turn it off.  And, worse, I’d forgotten to turn it off the night before because it was, technically, the first day of my holiday.

Not that I really wanted one because since Ellen left, my life consisted of work, work, and more work.  It kept my mind off being alone, and in an empty apartment except for the books, a bed, a table, and two chairs, a desk, and a well-worn lounge chair.  I’d been there for years and still hadn’t bought any new furniture or anything else for that matter.

And the last holiday I’d gone on had been organized by Ellen fifteen years ago in Italy after our two daughters had finished school and graduated almost top of their class.  We’d been happier then, but happiness was fleeting for me, and soon after the rot had set in, and it was the beginning of the end.

I remembered it only too clearly, coming home, opening a letter addressed to her, and finding proof of what I think I’d known all along.  She was having an affair, had been for quite some time.

It should not have been a surprise given what I had put her through over the years, since my discharge from the Army, and the nightmares active service had fueled, but it was and sent me spiraling to a new low.

But that was five years ago.  I came out of the fog a year after that.  Ellen was gone, the girls came to see me from time to time, and all I had left were memories.

I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.  I was on holiday.  No work, no pressure, nothing.  I could go back to my grandmother’s house and visit.  I had been promising myself I’d do that soon, even if it was now a country hotel.  From the advertising it had not changed one bit, the house and grounds intact.

Or I could throw a dart at a map and get on the next plane there, though knowing my ability with a dart, it would be in the middle of the ocean.

I could do almost anything I wanted.

It’s not much, just a taste.  But it’s enough for now.  I’ve made a start.  Now, all I have to do is come up with the next 100,000 words or so.

© Charles Heath 2016-2020